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Wow, for several reasons. First, the many positive reviews. Second, the neckline — something about the sharpness of the V-neck is perfect, and really differentiates this top from several others that are similar. Third, the fact that I like the high-low look in this case — which I never do — and like it enough to recommend for work and beyond. It’s “hand wash,” which to me these days means “throw in the washer and hope for the best,” but that’s me. It’s $79 at Nordstrom (sold out in white, but available in black). Karen Kane Asymmetrical Hem Faux Wrap Top Update: We found some additional colors at other stores: blue and red in regular sizes, and blue, red, and black (and green in a very similar style) in plus sizes. (L-6)Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Thanks, Mascot! says
Mascot, thanks for that fathers day idea of the matching socks! Those are so cute. I ordered some last night.
Philanthropy Girl says
Agreed! Super cute!
EE says
Can you link to these or give more detail? Missed this the first time around.
Thanks, Mascot! says
http://www.pairofthieves.com/dad-kid-sets/
mascot says
You’re welcome. Hope they are a hit!
Anonymous says
I just ordered some too! My 3 year old will be super excited to give these to his dad.
Beep says
I ordered some too! Thanks for the idea!
Goosebumpy says
I just ordered as well. My daughter adores socks and has been known to criticize her dad for wearing socks that aren’t “beautiful,” so this is perfect! Good call!
dc mom anon says
Hey ladies – can you give me advice on how to wean my 20-month-old? We are down to nursing before bedtime and I can tell that it really relaxes her. We have tried to have husband put her to sleep. He does the same exact routine, except offers her a sippy cup of milk and she screams and bangs on the door to get me to come to her room. Is there a CIO for weaning? Any gentler methods? A friend jokingly (I think) suggested putting hot sauce on my bre@sts…
EB0220 says
Not sure it’s 100% relevant but try searching Dr Jay Gordon night weaning. He basically recommends just making the nursing sessions shorter and shorter. I personally found that my 18 month old understood enough to talk about it. We shortened the sessions until finally I decided to stop completely. I just old her “No more mommy milk, we will cuddle instead.” and she gave me a brave nod and cuddle up. She was pretty attached to nursing, too.
Betty says
I would move the nursing to first part of your bedtime routine so that it looses its association with sleep. After it has lost its association, it will be easier to sub in a replacement.
Meg Murry says
Rather than offer the sippy of milk, can he just skip that part altogether and offer cuddles?
I know other parents that have been able to explain it to kids like EB mentioned and have it work. Another friend was in pain from being pregnant again and talking wasn’t working, so she put band-aids over her nipples and told her son that he couldn’t nurse because mommy had boo-boos, and he cried but accepted it.
Anons says
Late to the party, but go out of the house and see if she will do bedtime routine without you. She can’t know you are at home. That will tell you how much of a sleep association she has. Then I agree with making it shorter and offering an alternative, at least for a bit (like a sippy cup or holding on to a special lovey). I weaned around that age and my daughter still occasionally asks to nurse 4 months later, but usually accepts it when I tell her she has grown so much and doesn’t need mommy milk anymore.
octagon says
someone in my moms group said that she weaned her kid by putting bandaids on her chest, and explaining that mommy had an ouchy and couldn’t nurse. The kid seemed to understand.
Anonymous says
My 3 year old son has been doing this thing for the last week or so where he doesn’t really empty his bladder when he uses the bathroom. And then needs to go again 10 minutes later. And 10 minutes after that, and so on. He’ll tell me that “the pee isn’t all coming out.” Even if I have him sit there for an extra 5 minutes, he won’t pee any more until he takes a break. At bedtime, I see this as a stall tactic and it drives me #@(*& crazy. But he’s also had 2 accidents in the last week and wet his bed the other night, and he’s been fully day and night potty trained for 6+ months. So maybe something else is going on. Anyone else experienced this?
He’s in the middle of a daycare transition, since he’s moving up to the preschool class starting this summer, plus there have been 3 new teachers in his current (old) class because of summer vacation staffing shuffles. Otherwise no significant changes at home or anything. I guess I’m just wondering whether this is 100% behavioral, or if there might be a physical reason I should talk to the pediatrician’s office about.
Anonymous says
Talk to the pediatrician about constipation.
anon says
YES
Anonymous says
Also, try loading this kid up with prune juice or prunes for a couple days. This isn’t defiance. This is a physical problem.
Anon says
UTI?
mascot says
If UTI/constipation are ruled out, could be just normal regression of potty training (it happens) or could be anxiety. Lots of changes in his life, a couple of accidents that are on his mind. Keep it low key and let him work through it. Once he’s gotten further away from the accidents, encourage him to wait just a bit longer. Don’t make it a power struggle. We dealt with this anxious bladder thing with my son (who’s older than your guy) and it finally stopped when some underlying anxiety about school resolved.
Anonymous says
Thanks ladies, I called the nurse line at the ped’s office and they want him to come in to check it out.
Anon says
Google Dr. Hodges and potty training. Lots of good constipation information.
JP says
I just got invited to give a talk about 2 months after my baby (first child) will be born, while I’m still on maternity leave. I’ve given this exact talk 3 times before, it’s in town (30 minute drive from home), and there’s a generous honorarium. But…I will have a two-month-old, and I’m not sure how much I’ll want to protect my leave or whether it will be very difficult to switch back into work mode for a few hours. Would you say yes to the invite? Other potentially important details: husband would be available to take care of kid and I’ll be having a c-section. Thanks so much!
Cb says
This is my personal bias but I think it’d be a great demonstration of an awesome woman making it work. I saw a woman present recently while wearing a baby and had so much admiration for her willingness to mesh personal and professional identities. If you choose to breastfeed, can your husband come with so you can feed the baby immediately before or after?
ToddlerMom says
I know it is different for others, but I had a c-section and was completely fine after 8 weeks. (Sleep deprivation was more of an issue for me at that point than recovery from the c-section.) Bringing husband and baby along sounds like a good idea to me, although I would not have liked my baby to be in the same room with me while I give a presentation, because in those early weeks I sometimes leaked when I heard my baby cry or fuss. Another room in the same building would have worked much better for me. If your baby tends to spit up after or while nursing, you will know it by 2 months and be able to bring an extra set of clothes just in case. So I’d say yes to the invite.
Lyssa says
Same with me (being totally fine post C-section). FWIW, I went back to work at 8 weeks, and I actually spoke at a CLE about 7 weeks out, with no problems (felt a little weird to get all dressed up again, but that was it). If this is something that you want to do, I can’t think of anything that would be likely to stop you from doing it.
I wouldn’t bring my husband and the baby personally, unless you’re really going to be gone all day, but I guess there’s no reason not to if there’s a place for them. (I would not have them in the same room, unless maybe it’s a really, really big room.)
Meg Murry says
Yes, I also went back to work full time at 8 weeks with my oldest, so I think this is do- able. I agree with others that it might be a good idea to give yourself an out or Plan B just in case though – would it tank your reputation if you had to cancel due to medical complications? Do you have a colleague who might be willing to step in to give the talk with your materials with a week or two notice if things arent going well for you medically, or would you be better off backing out with 2 weeks notice?
Last, be prepared for 2 things:
-Sleep exhaustion is no joke. Even though you’ve given this talk before, you’ll want to practice it several times. I think all new parents have had the experience of knowing that they *should* know what to say, and that the words are in your brain somewhere, but you just can’t make them come to you. So practice a lot (you could talk through your slides while nursing, you’ll have a lot of time for that ).
-Be prepared for none of your work clothes to quite fit right, but maternity clothes not to fit well either. Even if you are magically down to pre-pregancy weight, which some women are (but never me), your shape will probably be different, and you may still have trouble wearing certain clothes over your incision. For me, my belly was still 6 months pregnant looking at 8 weeks (down to maybe 4 months with spanx). Depending on your audience, you may want to make a joke or comment about the baby, or some clueless sole will ask you about your due date assuming you are still pregnant :-/ Been there, it stinks for the ego.
– I’d suggest scheduling a haircut in the week or few days up to the talk so you feel more put together, and budget for at least some part of a new outfit (a new dress or skirt perhaps) if you don’t have anything in your maternity wardrobe that works. Practice walking in heels if you haven’t worn them in 8+ weeks at that point.
But I would do it, even with the complications- it’s nice to get back to your professional self and feel competent again. And the money sounds like it would be worth it. I agree with others that having your husband drive you and the baby (he could take the stroller and go for walk during the talk, etc) would be a good plan.
The only snag – will you be taking short-term disability to cover your lost income? If so, this would count as “working” and could jeopardize that. Also, if the presentation materials are on your work computer/email, get that now and give the talk organizers your personal email – some companies turn off access to work email when are on STD/FMLA, and even if they don’t, you probably don’t want to be actively checking your work email in preparation for this event and get caught up in the rest of the work stuff there.
RDC says
Is it something you’d regret not doing? If you’ve done it before (and presumably could again?) it doesn’t sound like a can’t-pass-up opportunity. But as Cb said it’s probably totally doable if you want to do it. My biggest thought was br*astfeeding, too – at two months you’ll probably need to bf or pump every 3-4 hrs, so you’d need to factor that in. Also, start getting ready veeeery early, since it seems like right when you’re ready to leave someone inevitably needs a change of clothes. I think the biggest question is if you want to do it – if so, go for it!
JP says
Honestly, my main motivation is the honorarium. $750 for a one-hour talk that I’ve given before is hard to pass up, given all the costs involved with having a baby. I didn’t even think about bringing the baby and husband as an option to make nursing etc easier…but yes, that would be completely doable and is a really good idea. Thank you so much!
EB0220 says
I don’t think this is true for everyone, but I really had trouble getting my new mom identity to mesh at all with my professional identity after my 1st was born. It happened eventually, but in the first few months I was in full-on baby mode. I didn’t do anything related to work. It was a little easier after my 2nd but I still resented the little I had to work while on maternity leave.
CLMom says
I would enjoy getting dressed up and out of the house. I went to a couple of networking events while on maternity leave, and it was refreshing and reminded me that I did want to return to work and that I really enjoy adult time.
Faye says
With my first c-section, I had complications and couldn’t have done a talk at 2 months even if I wanted to, and focused solely on mom me. With my second c-section, I was fine and I was better at managing the balance of regular me and mom me. And I couldn’t have predicted either of those situations beforehand.
Can you say you intend to do it, but you’ll give them a final answer 2 weeks out? Or what other kind of notice/backup plan would they need? Give yourself the possibility of changing your mind, because birth and recovery and emotions can vary so wildly.
3L mama says
I had an emergency c-section and difficult recovery, but I went to a two-hour seminar class five days after the birth, so I’d say at two months you could totally do a talk IF you wanted to. A lot of people warned that what I would want pre-baby might change post-baby, but it didn’t really – so if you want to do the talk now, go ahead and plan on it.
I would second bringing your husband along with the baby so you can nurse right before/after. Makes things a lot easier, and you can plan to get to the venue ahead of time without stressing that it’s even *more* time away from your baby.
CPA Lady says
The one thing I would caution you about is c-section recovery. I dont know if this is the kind of presentation where you’ll be on your feet for an hour or not. I had a very easy, pleasant, planned c-section, and while recovery went smoothly in terms of healing, something that surprised me was how tired I would get from walking. Like a 20 minute trip to the grocery store would have me so tired I would have to sit down for a while afterwards. I am pretty sure I was back to normal-ish around 2 months postpartum, but I would make sure you’d have the option to have a chair or a stool on the stage so you have a place to sit for a few minutes during the presentation if you need to. I also wore the bellefit corset thingy that Kat recommended here, and that was extremely helpful in providing support for my midsection while walking after my c-section.
TK says
I had a planned C-section and did some brief court appearances 7 weeks PP. At the time I thought I did fine (and I won my arguments, for what that’s worth) but as I look back now on that period of my life, sleep deprivation and all, it may just have been luck of the draw that I was coherent on that particular day. In the two weeks prior to and after that 7 week mark, there are times when I, for example, left the house with one shoe and didn’t notice for an hour; drove 20 minutes with my baby in but not strapped into his car seat; forgot my husband’s name for an hour or so; and literally fell asleep mid sentence while talking to my mom on the phone.
If you decide to go, I would not bring baby if you’re breastfeeding because of the increased change of leakage if you hear him/her crying.
AwayEmily says
Congrats on the opportunity. You can do it! I’m a university professor and went back to teaching eight days after my daughter was born (by choice — I decided to tough it out for the rest of the spring semester and take my maternity leave in the fall instead, when the baby was older). It was hard but not impossible — stuff comes back to you much more quickly than you think (even when sleep-deprived). And I actually found it rather grounding to be reminded that I had a life/identity outside of the baby — helped put my baby-related anxieties into perspective. Good luck!
FirstTimePreg says
Going to the doctor’s today for my first appointment! I’m 8 weeks, and I’m so excited for the sonogram (though I think I’ll be like Rachel on Friends and not be able to figure out what I’m looking at). Just excited and no one in my office knows, so came here to type exclamation points!!!!!!!!
CLMom says
Yay!!!!!!!
FTMinFL says
Woohoo!! Congrats! Wishing you minimal waiting room time and an enthusiastic ultrasound tech :)
JP says
HOORAY! Seeing that little heartbeat for the first time is such a miraculous thing. Bring tissues if you are a happy crier!
TheElms says
I love posts like this! Yay happy life event!
CPA Lady says
Yay, congrats! So exciting.
You may already know this. I did not, so I will warn you– It’s probably a trans-v ultrasound.
I got there for my 8 week checkup and the ultrasound tech told me to take off my pants. The only ultrasounds I’d ever seen on tv were like on Friends where they put the goo on your tummy. I had no clue why I needed to take off my pants, though in time it became abundantly clear. Ahh, memories.
lsw says
Yup, this surprised me too!
ToddlerMom says
Yay! Congrats!
CLMom says
A key employee was just recently diagnosed with an illness which may prevent her return. I’m the new administrator (new position for the firm, too) and little had been transitioned. Her desk is 60% transferring to me.
There is going to be a lot of ‘leaning in’ the next couple of months, including increased evening work from home.
I’m excited to show what I’m capable of (and hopefully set myself up for a conversation about a pay increase), but I’m already tired with the 7 month old, pumping, husband, house, friends, me time, etc.
Just sharing because I know you all have been there, and I’m glad I’m not the only one trying to have it all.
Anons says
You got this. And bring up that pay increase at the first opportunity!
Samantha says
Remind yourself it’s temporary. Even if you have to give up a thing or two (friends, clean house, or entertaining or cooking/cleaning – outsource) remind yourself it isnt FOR EVER, just while you juggle this tough stretch. There’s a turning point in baby care as early as 12 months!
FTMinFL says
Hey ladies, do y’all have suggestions on how to split household-type responsibilities with your partner to help juggle life? My DH is wonderful and willing to help as needed, but we fell into a pattern where I do everything while on maternity leave. Now 5 months removed from leave, I’m still (unsuccessfully) trying to balance everything. After being in survival mode for so long, I’m not sure what to ask DH to help with!
layered bob says
we have complete divisions – i.e. my husband does ALL the meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. I do ALL the laundry, dry cleaning, etc. We had to just give over complete responsibilities for areas of domestic work so that we knew whose job it was. I will “help” with food – DH will leave a note saying, “when you get home from work please chop an onion and two stalks of celery” – and he will “help” with laundry – “please move the laundry from the washer to the dryer” – but it is not our mental responsibilities and we don’t get to complain about how it’s done.
We just sat down one day and decided who would do what based on our schedules and which jobs we hated less. Every few months we re-allocate responsibilities, usually after a fight where we’re frustrated the other person isn’t doing “enough.” It works. /shrug
Anon says
All the this. It’s the best way I’ve figured out.
TBK says
Write a list of everything that needs to get done around the house. Agree on the list (that is, if you think toilets need to be cleaned every other day and he thinks once a month is good, find a middle ground you’re both okay with). Assign rough values to everything. Then take turns picking from the list, like picking a kickball team, with the goal of each person winding up with roughly the same amount of work. If one person has longer hours or more stress at work or other issues, factor that in. Not saying this is perfect. We did the same thing and I think my husband has completely forgotten that washing dress shirts is his job. But he now picks up groceries, gets the kids up and gives them breakfast on Sundays, puts them to bed Sunday night, takes out the trash and recycling after dinner, and deals with All Things Dog (not all the walking, but vet appointments, etc.) and All Things House – repair and maintenance (dealing with plumbers, etc., while I deal with the housekeeper). That reminds me, be sure to include “worry work.” That is, divide up not just the responsibility for doing things but the responsibility for being responsible for them. Remembering to make appointments, keep track of forms, buy gifts, plan dinners, etc. is a huge amount of work.
abby says
Re: “worry work”, we had an explicit conversation last summer about worry work being part of the work (“It’s management! It counts!”) and now, while I still do more of it, partner is much more graceful about being asked to do the actual implementation legwork.
We’re expecting our first kid this summer, so I expect this to all need massive re-arranging in the near future, but that breakthrough was so so magic for our shared housework that I get all evangelical about it.
mascot says
For us it was making sure that both parents knew all parts of the kid’s daily needs. My husband was a little hesitant to step in because he thought he was doing it wrong – like picking out clothes to make a baby outfit or figuring out how to make a balanced meal. We still have to re-visit this, “here are a list of things that need to go in the backpack every day for day camp” but it really cuts down on frustration. We are fine to sole-source other tasks like laundry, yard work, etc and outsource house cleaning.
RDC says
My husband does not like “rules” so we’ve kind of split things up ad-hoc (generally by who dislikes what less) and fallen into routines. So: he loads, I unload dishwasher (usually). I meal plan and shop but he often does the actual cooking. He does bath, I do books and bed. We also outsource a lot: cleaners every other week, dog walker, and a roomba help keep things more-or-less under control. He does all thing pet and house and cars (appointments, maintenance, etc) while I do all things kid.
I second the idea that you don’t get to complain about how he does things (and often have to remind myself of this). It took me a while but I’ve genuinely stopped caring how he loads the dishwasher, mostly bc I don’t have the energy to do it myself.
Joy Division of Labor says
Things I do:
-planning/default parenting items (this is my personality and I would rather do it)
-scheduling dr. appointments
-gift buying
-seasonal wardrobe rotation and clothing and shoe shopping
-scheduling lessons
-scheduling and paying for house maintenance
-laundry
-cleaning the sinks and toilet in the bathroom
-wake up daughter, do entire morning routine alone (husband goes to work at 5 am)
-take daughter to daycare every day
-pick up daughter from daycare every day
-bath time
-DIY decorating projects, I’ve painted most of our house by myself. I love painting.
Things husband does:
-consistent daily grunt work
-cleaning the litterbox
-emptying the diaper pail
-dishes
-emptying the dishwasher
-cleaning the shower/tub
-meal planning
-cooking
-grocery shopping
-bedtime
-plumbing/electrical work (DH has an EE background, he’s not going about this willy-nilly)
Other:
-roomba vacuums
-yard work (hired out)
The biggest help has been my husband being 100% in charge of dinners. When we agreed that I would do all daycare drop offs and pick ups, I told him that he was not allowed to ask me any questions about dinner, it just needed to magically appear. He made it happen and it has been a huge huge load off my mind.
I also found (speaking of yesterday’s thread about leaving your child) that leaving my husband alone with our child for two days when she was six months old helped immensely. At a certain point when he was asking me a million questions every time I asked him to do something, it was a bigger pain in the ass to tell him what to do than to do it myself, but when left to figure it out on his own, it turns out he was actually completely competent.
GCA says
There are some similar styles at Lands’ End without the faux-wrap – I have the Drape Notch Henley shirt (dressier than it sounds, works for my mostly-casual office!) but it’s now sold out. Just search for ‘notch neck’.
Famouscait says
Hey there, long lost internet friends. Does anyone have any thoughts/experience/suggestions on living in College Station, Texas? We’re possibly looking at relocating there, and are headed on an exploratory trip next weekend. Looking for neighborhood and school ideas… Thanks!
Anonymous says
My dad lives outside of College Station, and it is a cute little college town! I only go there for quick visits, so no real help for neighborhoods or schools, but just wanted to say enjoy your trip. Definitely check out the George HW Bush Presidential Library if you have a chance.
Famouscait says
Anywhere good to eat dinner out? All I want to do is eat dinner in a restaurant (we’re going w/o the kiddo).
Anonymous says
I can’t think of any I specifically love off the top of my head, but you can’t go wrong with barbecue or any steak restaurant in that part of Texas. (I hope you’re not a vegetarian)
Famouscait says
Actually, I am 100% vegetarian, but my husband isn’t. So, he can enjoy the BBQ and steak. =)
Katala says
Word of warning on checking the ingredients of veggie dishes. Often things that look vegetarian are cooked in bacon fat, etc.
Vegetarians can have a hard time in Texas. Hopefully less so in a college town.
Anon in NYC says
I have two friends who live in College Station (both associated with the college) and seem to really love it. I think downtown Bryan has cute restaurants.
LSC says
I am sure you know this, but it is an extremely conservative area.
anonymous says
posting anon
we have lived in CS for 4 years so I have some thoughts for you. FYI it’s really hot & humid right now.
If you want fancier I suggest eating at Veritas (good fish), Christopher’s World Grille (although may not be anything veg on the menu, you can order off-menu veggie enchiladas which are excellent), The Republic for steak, or Madden’s in downtown Bryan. Drinks are best at Christophers & the Republic; Veritas has the best wine list. Less fancy you can get good barbeque at Fargo, good nontraditional tacos at Mad Taco or Torchy’s (Austin-based chain but really good)
Neighborhoods: If you ask people will tell you the schools are better in CS than in Bryan and that farther south in CS is better. Personally I think the schools are all pretty good and most of it is family background that determines kids outcomes anyway. The thing to watch out for is really neighborhoods that allow houses to be rented to college students – the university has admitted more students than they had housing for, for many years, and so they have started to spill over into traditionally family neighborhoods. Best bets: established neighborhoods on east side of hwy 6 like emerald forest, foxfire, pebble creek or if you want newer house far south like williams creek, nantucket, saddle creek ($$$) or castlegate (ugly but cheaper) . If you want closer in there are some cute places in southwood forest (southwood valley is being taken over by college students), near bee creek. If you want to build you will pretty much have to go south. Cost of living has been low but the area is growing rapidly & house prices have appreciated significantly in the last few years. You can get a big or small lot & it is cheap to hire out lawn work. Keep in mind that TX is no zoning so instead we have HOAs.
If you are going to be associated with the university your friends/coworkers will be like they are at any university. TX is a different place to live but we don’t mind it (& love the weather – no winter!)
Famouscait says
Thank you, this is extremely helpful!
TBK says
Is there any chance my just turned 2 yr olds are coming to the end of their napping days? They go to bed at 7:30 but for the last month or more they play in their cribs and talk to each other until at least 8:30 and often 9:00 or later. Then they’re up at 6:45. Lately they’ve been napping only an hour in the afternoon when they used to nap a solid 2.5 hrs, or sometimes more. The au pair tells me that yesterday one of them didn’t nap at all! I think 7:30 might be on the early side in terms of bedtime, but it’s what works for us right now. Because of work/dinner it’s either that or 9:00, which seems really late for 2 yr olds. And that would mean they’d eat dinner with us at 7:30/7:45 instead of at 5:30/6:00 the way they do now. Should we cut back on naps? They seem really young still to be giving up naptime.
mascot says
Could it be the summer hours? It’s light from 6:30 am until 8:30 pm at my house. Even with room darkening shades, my child is still up slightly earlier than he was in the winter. I’dl keep the early bedtime. Staying up later has zero bearing on my kid sleeping in.
TBK says
I think it is summer light in the evening. The time they get up in the morning is fine. I usually go in at 7:00, and they play quietly in their cribs until then. But it’s light from about 5:15am-almost 9:00pm right now, so I’m sure it’s just too bright even with the curtains drawn to go to bed at night.
Samantha says
Try tiring them out more during the day?
Anonymous says
My son stopped napping at home on weekends at around that age. I was so sad when we lost his glorious 3 hour weekend naps. He continued to nap/rest at school until he was 4. His bedtime has consistently been 9 and he wakes up between 7 and 8.
TBK says
Giving up weekend naps would actually be freeing. The problem is that on some Fridays (like today) I work from home and depend on the nap to stretch au pair hours (so she goes off the clock after putting them down, but I’ve been able to get another 2-3 hrs of work done while they sleep). It won’t be a problem anymore once they start preschool in the fall, but ugh not sure what I’ll do for the summer if they stop napping! Quiet crib time with books and toys? (Don’t point out the fact that they’ll likely be out of their cribs soon. So not ready for that level of mobility.)
Anonymous says
Could you hire a high school student to come in for 3 hours every Friday to get you through the summer?
Atty mom says
We started doing quite time with 2.5 yr old once he transitioned from his crib bc he refuses to stay in bed. We set his “toddler clock” and tell him he needs to stay in his room until the clock turns green. We also tell him mommy and daddy are resting and he needs to rest too. Got some quite toys (puzzles, play house) that only come out for quiet time. Every time he comes out I take him back to his room and remind him. Can usually get an hour or so of down time this way. He still naps at school although if they let him sleep past 3 it really messes with his bedtime.
MamaLlama says
My daughter stopped napping without EXTENSIVE EFFORT on my part around 2 years 4 months or so. She still napped OK at daycare. As in, I’d have to lie there with her for 45-60 minutes AND allow her a pacifier (NO NO NO!).
I tried that for 2 months then gave up. She’s now a little over 2.5 and she goes to bed between 7 and 7:30pm, wakes up at 7:30-8am, and does not nap. She also is now fully night time potty trained which seemed to coincide with the nap dropping/earlier bed time.
If you don’t have blackout curtains, get them. Mine would be up at 6:30am without them.
Re: what to do with naptime- I put my daughter upstairs and allow her to read books, “do circletime” (put all stuffed animals in a circle and boss them around), whatever, for an hour or so. She isn’t allowed to come out of her room and goof around. I also allow her to watch TV for an hour or so in the afternoon now, which was totally off limits before. She does need the quiet/down time. I use this time to work, but not for example take conference calls.
Also, FWIW mine has been out of her crib since 18 months. She stays put in her room or at least upstairs (room + playroom).
TBK says
Aaaand today they’re zonked. Guess they’re catching up on the sleep they haven’t been getting. But maybe we’re in “we don’t need a full nap EVERY day territory,” which could be ideal for weekends.
Meg Murry says
My kids napping was very dependent on how much physical activity they got that morning – if we just hung around the house or spent a lot of time in the stroller, they fought naps hard, but if they were outside playing or going to swim class or gymnastics, etc, they zonked right out. If you depend on Friday afternoon naps, can you work with the au pair to schedule a Friday morning physical activity like a class or long trip to the playground?
A neighborhood teenage helper is also not a bad idea for the summer to help you stretch your au pair’s available hours.
Personally, I love my weekend downtime, so we enforced at least 1 hour of quiet time for a long time (even into Kindergarten when we still had a napping baby too) except for very special occasions. We chance skipping nap more now with my youngest being 4.5, but he’s often a ticking time bomb if we do.
Anonymous says
My kid went through about 2 weeks of nap refusal at 2y 3m old. Now, she’s back to consistent naps. No clue what happened, but maybe your twins are going through it too?
Anonymous says
Try blackout curtains. We have blackout shades plus curtains from ikea.
Also, there is a two year sleep regression.
Two is really early to be not napping anymore.
Away Time? says
Just wanted to thank everyone who weighed in yesterday about my question about staying home alone from a in-law visit. Still undecided, but your thoughtful responses are pushing me into the “Stay home!” camp.
After asking my question and reading your responses, I think my honest hang-up is the thought of being something other than indispensable. Heartache!
pump recommendations? says
My insurance will cover the Ameda Purely Yours or the Medela PISA. This is my second baby; I have the Ameda Purley Yours from 3 years ago, and all its parts.
I also have a manual Medela and a bunch of bottles for it.
Do I go for another Ameda (I had supply issues the first time around, no idea if it was the pump or what), or try the Medela this time and use my existing Ameda as a back-up?
SC says
I had the Medela PISA, and I had no issues with it. Without more information, it’s hard to know whether a different pump would help any supply issues (except that a hospital pump instead of a portable pump is usually recommended for early supply issues/increasing supply). Once you return to work, I think it would be MUCH more convenient to have two of the same pump, so you can keep one at work and one at home and carry just the bottles and parts between. So, while I liked the Medela, I’d probably lean toward getting the other Ameda, unless you believe the Ameda contributed to your supply issues.
Meg Murry says
I would go for the Medela myself, as I know more people that had issues with the Ameda than Medela, and the Medela parts seem to be more readily available at BRU/Target/Amazon.
For supply issues, I also had issues with my first, and started pumping for kid #2 pretty much the day we got home from the hospital in the hopes of not having to do 50/50 bill/formula like I did for kid #1. There were other differences as well (my situations and plan of attack was similar to Amalah’s here: http://alphamom.com/pregnancy/the-preemptive-undersupply-battle-plan/ ), but jumping right into pumping to establish a good supply made a huge difference.
Some lactation consultants can also look over your old pump to see if there is anything about it that it making it work less-than-opimally (a friend with an Ameda kept getting tiny cracks that killed the suction, after trial and error I learned to recognize when my crappy output was due to worn out diaphragms on the Medela), check to make sure you are using the right size flanges, and give your overall pumping tips.
Anonymous says
Thanks. I worked with a lactation consultant for quite a while. We had severa issues at play: tongue tie (baby), severe pain (me), and then a milk/soy protein allergy (her) all within the first 2 weeks. She was on Rx formula by week 3, but I pumped and saved the milk just in case. Which was awesome, because she was back to nursing by 8 weeks or so, and I had a nice freezer stash. But I essentially was pumping during my prime supply building time AND also dealing with bottle feeding…so I’m sure I lost momentum by not getting up to pump round the clock. I also had a nasty, horrible cold/infection for a month straight and was on drugs that were BF safe but did have potential to decrease supply (not sudafed). I did supplements and power pumping and all the tricks but my (already not great) supply was never the same.
We made it to 6 months EBF, then to 8 months combo feeding since my production dropped so badly but I burned through the freezer stash, then all formula after 8.5 months.
The lesson I learned from #1 was so what works. I killed myself for a while trying to make BF work and it started to make me miserable. And baby miserable. So we stopped and it was the best thing for both of us. And now she’s an awesome 3 y/o who is developmentally super advanced, physically exactly on target for height/weight and has a rock star immune system so we did something right (or got lucky).
Anonymous says
MEDELA!!!
TK says
Sigh.
Played with stickers with Little TK before work this morning. Did not do a last glance in the mirror before I headed out the door. Just got back from a trip to the restroom and caught a glance of myself … guess who’s been walking around for several hours with an “eyeball” sticker over her left n*pple?
Betty says
HA! That’s awesome. We’ve all been there — or some variant.
TBK says
I remember one of those “open letter” articles was from a more senior female partner to the young female lawyers in her firm and she specifically described seeing an exhausted looking associate getting on the elevator with a Dora sticker on her rear. I think walking around with stickers in unfortunate places is one of the casualties of parenthood.
TBK says
It’s our anniversary this weekend and my MIL just offered to take the boys all day and overnight tomorrow. Best gift ever!
(Did I mention my MIL is the best? My MIL is the best. It would’ve been worth marrying my husband just to get her. Luckily my husband is also pretty great.)
JJ says
That’s the best. Sleep so hard!
ChiLaw says
I would love to arrange a break/getaway type thing for my husband, a SAHD, just so he could get a breather of some sort. I’ve been traveling a good amount for work, baby has been sick, now I’m sick, and I heard him joking to the baby, “dada needs a vacation!” and it sort of set the wheels a-turnin’ in my mind.
If it was someone booking this for me, I would want a reservation for a bright, white hotel room with fluffy sheets, and a massage appointment, and maybe a sushi bar within walking distance. He’s a little harder to figure out. He’s pretty much your typical butch dude, loves beer and good food, the outdoors, etc. I think the ideal would be somewhere a reasonable drive from LA… but I am having trouble thinking of the right spot that isn’t *romantic* (because I wouldn’t be coming). Any thoughts?
Anonymous says
Does he like camping? What about booking a campsite and sending him off with a case of beer, fancy meats (jerky or premade, ready-to-grill burgers from WF) and a hammock?
(Swap the meat for shrimp kebabs and add a freshly loaded Kindle and this would be my dream :))
Anonymous says
My husband is from LA and always talks fondly about his trips to Big Bear Lake.
SC says
Ha, my husband would love a night with fluffy white sheets, a massage appointment, and a sushi bar, with or without me :-)
Does your husband fish? If so, you could reserve a boat, license, and equipment (if needed) or book a charter and then reserve a hotel for afterwards. Or you could book a hotel, AirBNB, or camp site near one of his favorite places to hike or cycle or whatever it is he does outdoors.
Meg Murry says
Do you think he’s the type who would want to go off alone, or does he have any friends that he might want to hike or camp with? Could you ask one of his buddies to plan something? Or don’t make it a surprise, but rather first pick a weekend with that friend, and then just gift him the free weekend and maybe a book on local hikes or breweries and let the two of them plan something? Or not plan, and just go? My husband’s favorite type of vacation pre-kids was to just go out in a general direction with a list of where he might end up and some general ideas of things he could do, and just be spontaneous (and he was perfectly happy sleeping in a Super 8 or sleeping bag in the back of his truck). That type of trip does NOT work well with kids, and I know it’s what he misses most.
MomAnon4This says
Tickets to a pro sports event and a night at a hotel nearby? Like a dude version of dinner-and-a-show.
Or, a concert he likes (we just had Megadeath in town and my husband went to his first concert in years).
ChiLaw says
Oh oh, such lovely ideas all around! My dude is sadly buddy-free here (we just moved to a new state and it’s slow going on the friends front) but I wonder if my brothers (who he likes, and who like him) would be up for some bro-ing out with him! I am def. pondering something outdoorsy… I know he’s really wanted to try the beers at Kern River Brewing, I wonder if that could be combined with some hiking or whatever it is people do on a river (ha, can you tell it’s not my thing?).
Anonymous says
Some people relax by going on an adventure. Some people relax by sitting still and doing nothing. What kind is your DH? If the former, plan an adventure weekend for him. If the latter, plan a fishing trip for him.
Implants says
X-post from the main site because I’m particularly interested in hearing from anyone who’s had this done post pregnancy/nursing.
Has anyone ever gotten Bre*st implants?
I’m done pregnancy/nursing. I’ve always been on the smaller side and have thought about it for a long time but wanted to be finished having kids first. It seems like silicone gives a better result but is riskier. Any suggestions for reading to help make the decision for/against or saline/silicone? I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the information online. Would I really have to get them replaced every 10 years?
Katala says
You may want to post again next week, since your comment is on the second page.
I’m not done with kiddos yet but I already want this. My b**bs were nice but small and I’m pretty sure I’ll end up with pancakes!
Anonymous says
Meeee too. My mom got breast implants when I was a teenager, and my body is exactly like hers, so I’m pretty sure I will end up with whatever shapeless breasts made that decision for her (esp given my between-pregnancies-and-nursing shape, which as just sad).. but I’ve never actually asked her about it.
Implants says
Thanks. I’ll post again on Monday. Comments seem to bump to a second page quicker here compared to the main site.