Maternity Monday: ‘Everyday’ Maternity BellaBand®

Ingrid & Isabel 'Everyday' BellaBand | CorporetteMomsI know I mentioned it in our guide to staying professional while pregnant, but I think we have yet to feature the BellaBand here on the blog. And it’s a must! Once the belly starts to pop (or regular pants buttons just become uncomfortable), that’s the time to break this baby out. It extends the life of your pre-maternity pants by letting you unbutton them; it simultaneously extends the hem of every top you’re wearing so it looks like you’ve got a layered tank beneath — perfect as things sometimes start to fit differently early on. (I know I went up a bra size before my first trimester was over!) It’s $28 at Nordstrom. Ingrid & Isabel® ‘Everyday’ Maternity BellaBand®

Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.



  1. Meg Murry says:

    I’ve never used the real name brand one, but I tried the one offered from Target and I hated it. The material was cheap feeling and cheap looking, and it felt like it was going to roll up or down every time I moved (or even when I was just sitting still). Maybe my problem is that I am super hourglassy, so my hips are much larger than my waist (I also can’t wear the smoothing tank tops – they roll right up) but the cheap one did not work for me. I think part of the problem was that the sizing was just “S/M” and “L/XL” so it just wasn’t a good fit for me.

    The Target version was also a cheap price, so I suppose that is an example of “you get what you pay for”. Pay more for something you expect to hold your pants up, like the name brand one featured above – unless you want a wardrobe failure at work!

    • +1 — I got the Ingrid & Isabel belly band from Target ($17 – my order history says “BeMaternity® by Ingrid & Isabel® Beband”) and barely used it. For me, I went from doing the rubber-band trick and/or just wearing a size larger to “Aaaah I can’t walk around with my pants undone anymore I need maternity pants NOW”. It seemed like the transition happened overnight, and I never really used my belly band, which wasn’t that comfortable anyway.

      Like Meg I’m a big-hipped hourglass shape so maybe that’s part of it.

    • Amelia Bedelia says:

      I am very very hour glass as well. I tried the target brand and HATED it. But I tried the expensive brand (gift card, so i figured why not?) and LOVED it. It was a game changer for me. I recommend this to all my pregnant friends.

    • EB0220 says:

      I also hated the Target version, but never tried the expensive brand. I am not that hourglassy, either.

    • layered bob says:

      I LOVED the Ingrid+Isabel Bellaband (not the Target version nor the bellaband “basic”). I had two – black and white with lace trim. Used them to wear my regular suit pants and skirts until I went on maternity leave at 37 weeks – I had only one pair of maternity pants. But, I am very straight up-and-down shaped and my hips did not get wider during pregnancy, so it seems like that makes a difference in peoples’ experiences.

    • It really must be individual body types and such- I used the basic Target one for two pregnancies and found it perfectly fine. I’m still using it now to transition back to regular clothes, in fact.

      Of course, I don’t think that there’s any way to know before you buy one.

      • Midwest Mama says:

        I agree. I used the Target one for quite a while when I was pregnant. I’m tall and didn’t show for quite a while, so it worked very well for me.

    • I’m hourglassy and did well with the Target ones for about two months (roughly month 4-month 5) before I went to maternity pants. I did wear one recently and it rolled up in the back really bad, but that’s probably my fault for trying to wear regular pants at 30 weeks.

    • I bought the Target version early in my pregnancy, but I very quickly became uncomfortable with anything around my waist, even before I was showing. So it didn’t really get any use as maternity wear. However, I use it now as a half-cami under wrap dresses, and I love it for that purpose!

    • I never tried the Target version, but I loved the I&I band. That thing kept me in my regular jeans and work pants until almost my third trimester. I’m pretty hourglassy, and it worked well for me. Anecdotally, my more apple-shaped friends reported having more trouble with the band. But I still recommend that everyone give it a shot — I’m 34 weeks now and So. Over. my maternity wardrobe. I can’t imagine if I had started wearing it much sooner!

    • I had both the Target version and the I&I–both hand-me-downs and the Target version was not great. The other one was wonderful–there really was a difference in quality!

  2. Butter says:

    This is my new best friend as of last week, especially for a road trip this weekend. I did get the Nordstrom I&I version, and it’s been fantastic so far. I’m also an extreme hourglass, and right now it’s working when I double it over so it’s two identical layers – it’s less clear how it will work well when it’s pulled all the way up/used as one layer, since it seems like it will be big on top, but then again so will I… Also with the two layers it really does smooth down the button/tabs so you can’t see the outline of the jeans underneath, whereas with one layer you can. Anyway, for now I’m a fan for extending the life of my jeans.

  3. Carseat Question says:

    Anyone have strong thoughts/feelings/experiences on the Uppababy Mesa carseat?

    So husband and I had evaluated a bunch of carseats before we even got to the store and had basically narrowed it down to either the Chicco KeyFit or the Britex B-Safe. Of the two, we prefer the B-Safe.

    When we were there, a major factor in the decision was how easy it was to correctly install the carseat without the base as it is likely that lots of people (grandparents, sitters, emergency daycare picker-uppers) will at some point be picking up the kiddo from daycare without a base. Enter the Uppababy Mesa carseat which we like specifically because of the euro-style beltpath and overall ease of installation. My thought is that all carseats are pretty safe, provided that they are installed correctly, so correct installation is a top priority.

    I know multiple people who have the B-Safe and all of them are happy with it, but also use it 98% of the time with a base; however, no one I know has the uppababy Cruz. Any input??

    • We’re due in 5 weeks so this is not an experienced answer. However…

      We also considered daycare transportation in our decision and actually decided on the Graco Snugfit 30 based on weight and overall carry-ability. This was not our conclusion until we went to an actual store and tried them out … before that we were down to the Chicco Keyfit and Britax B-safe, like you, and it was pretty much based on safety and side-impact ratings.

      The Britax and Chicco seats are BRICKS and they aren’t very comfy to hold, either. When we considered our short commute to day care (<15 min in small town traffic) vs our long 'commute' from car to daycare (large corporate HQ parking lot) the weight and handling of the seat suddenly became far more important.

      The Graco seat is also smaller so we were able to fit it in the center position of both our small cars (using the seatbelt instead of LATCH) which alleviated our side impact concerns.

      I hope that helps and doesn't just make your decision more complicated. :)

      • Thanks for your input! My husband didn’t love the SnugRide, I don’t totally remember why, but it might have hit him in the shins while he was carrying it or something crazy like that.

      • Anonymous says:

        I don’t know, if I had to do it over we’d probably just go with a convertible – our baby is outgrowing his Graco Snugride 30 at 6 months.

        • Anonymous says:

          We rarely carried him in it, though (way easier to just take him out and hold him or put him in an ergo or similar), so ymmv.

    • Famouscait says:

      We just finished using the B Safe for baby’s first 9 months. I think it is great. In regards to your specific scenario: it is equally easy to take the base out of the car for another person to use. Assuming you’re using the LATCH connectors, it just pops right in and out. We did this on lots of occasions with our babysitter and grandparents. If you’re already preferential to the B Safe, I’d consider this alternative. It was super easy for us to do.

      • Have you ever just used a seatbelt, no base?

        For example, when you’re in a taxi?

        • Famouscait says:

          Never used it without the base. We didn’t travel with it (so no taxis, etc.) but moving the base when necessary was just so easy we never looked into how to secure it without one.

        • POSITA says:

          We used our B-safe without a base when traveling and it was fine. Only took a minute or two to install and felt secure. I wouldn’t do it daily, but it was a non-issue for traveling and occasional cabs.

          • POSITA says:

            To put it another way, I had to install the B-safe carseat in a cab with a seatbelt while double parked in traffic (a big hurry) and I managed to install without breaking a sweat. It just took a moment.

    • We have a 2014 Mesa and Vista. Super easy to install the carseat and we love the stroller and often used the carseat with the stroller for a travel system. The downside is the mesa is really heavy. It’s only a couple of pounds difference, but you do really feel it. It also just doesn’t feel super comfortable. Safety is obviously paramount, but other carseats on the market feel a little more plush. On the plus side, it works well with Vista, looks cool , was super easy to install and the no rethread harness is great. No experience with B Safe, but we also have a Chicco Keyfit for my mother’s car and honestly love it. It is a little bit lighter, Vista has an adapter for it and is more comfy and still easy to install. Only downside is you have re-thread the harness (at least on the 2014 version we have). If I had to do it all over again, I would probably go with Chicco. Or Cybex Aton Q – not that you asked, but it is gorgeous!

      • Fascinating! This is really helpful, thank you!

        One of the things we liked better about the B-Safe over the Keyfit was how easily it clicked on to the stroller we’ve picked, so that was one thing that just barely edged the B-Safe over the Keyfit.

      • So in case anyone is a nerd like me and was wondering- here are the weights of each carseat for the most recent model year:

        Chicco Keyfit 30: 9 lbs
        Uppababy Cruz: 9.9 lbs
        Britex B-Safe: 9.8 lbs

      • If you travel often, I would recommend a carseat with the European belt path. I chose the Cybex Aton 2 partially for that reason. Typically we use the carseat with its base, but it was fairly easy to secure the car seat when we have used rental cars and in taxis.

      • I second the recommendation for the Cybex Aton 2. We’re using it with the base but I did see a lot of recommendations that it was really easy to secure with the seatbelt only.

        • Quail says:

          +1 on Cybex Aton – very easy to use with seatbelt only and it seems very, very snug.

          • Anglophile says:

            +1 on the Cybex Aton for the small footprint and the weight (8.8 lbs). It works fabulous with the UppaBaby Vista + Maxi Cosi adapters (which are in bizarre short supply for some reason – I thought it was just my experience but I ran into another mom recently who is having trouble getting the adapters).

        • Thank you all so so much for the input!!

          I think my husband and I will go back and check out the Cybex Aton- I know he liked the idea of the load leg and we both like the European belt path option if necessary and this seems to hit both marks, PLUS, it’s a pound lighter than the uppababy and the Britex and in between the price points on both…

          This could be a great middle ground.

    • We had the Chicco Keyfit with our last one (and will use it again this time), and frequently used it sans base. It’s really easy; works great.

      • Amelia Bedelia says:

        same for us — we use it quite a bit in taxis and have never had an issue. it’s very easy.

    • NewMomAnontheSecond says:

      Love the Mesa! As the guy at the store told us, once the baby is 16 pounds, that extra one pound isnt going to feel that different – you’re really talking about 24 or 25 pounds at a certain point, and it will be heavy!

      Has been super easy with rental cars – no experience in a carpool scenario. Also, it’s just a goodlooking seat! We love the Cruz too – super easy to click it in and go.

    • pockets says:

      I really wanted to get the Mesa as we also had the Cruz. But the Mesa is huge and didn’t fit in our car (Mazda 3). If anyone doing pickups has a small car and will need to use the passenger seat, the Mesa won’t work. We ended up with the cybex aton.

      • Oh man, as someone with a larger vehicle, I hadn’t even considered this! Baby’s Auntie (who is also one of those fabulous people who lives close by and has VERY flexible work hours and is that amazing ‘oh, hey! if you ever get trapped at work and need me to make an emergency daycare pickup, it’s no problem, just let me know’ angels) drives a Nissan Versa. I might take her car in and make sure it fits in that.

        The Cybex Aton is looking like something we should consider.

        • Any day now... says:

          Hope I’m not too late today, but check out the Nuna Pipa too! We just returned the Chicco Keyfit this weekend after getting the Pipa (because it’s compatible with the Nuna Mixx stroller…but that’s another story). The Pipa weighs less than 8lbs, has the really awesome built in “Dream Drape” that covers your bambino like a blanket, the base has a load leg and rigid LATCH connectors (hubby installed it less than 5 minutes; said it was even easier than the Keyfit), European belt path, fancy pants green certified fabrics. It uses maxi cosi adaptor for the UB Cruz. Compared to the Keyfit, it just feels so much more lux.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I loved the Nordstrom version and hated the Target version, and I’m not particularly hour glass-y. The one difference I noticed is that the Nordstrom version had some rubbery stuff on the bottom that helps it stay attached to pants – I never felt like it was about to slip off, the way I did with the target version.

  5. PregInVA says:

    Any suggestions for how to learn how to keep a baby alive? First time mom, and no friends or family have babies, so DH and I are going in blind. I realized I have read lots about pregnancy and L&D but have no idea what I will actually do with my baby when I bring it home. And yes I realize how pathetic this sounds… I’m early in third trimester, so while we have some time to learn, I’m looking for a book (ideally) that is comprehensive and easy to read, maybe cover to cover. I need a 101/crash course!

    • mascot says:

      You can do this. Babies need to be fed, warm, and dry. That’s basically it. I realize there are 1000 what-ifs and variations, but they only have a few basic needs.
      Heading Home with Your Newborn was a quick read. There’s also Baby 411 for specific questions. Have you picked your pediatrician yet? Most of them have a book recommendation and there is always the office nurse line for those crazy questions (I must have called about heat rash 3-4 separate times). Does your hospital offer a child care basics class? I recommend doing an infant CPR.

    • Someone gave us their old copy of Baby 411, and we found it really helpful the first few weeks for basic questions that you feel silly asking. That and google. My mom gave me Penelope Leach’s book, which she loved 30 years ago, but I found it very off-putting.

    • I found the newborn care class at our hospital really helpful. Also, if you or your husband really have totally zero experience with babies I would suggest that you pick up a newborn sized doll at a dollar store or Walmart and practice changing diapers and getting the ‘baby’ into clothes or the car seat or the swing/bouncer etc. might help you feel more comfortable with how things work be learning on your baby. And come back here for advice whenever you feel overwhelmed. Newborns are overwhelming but you can do this!

    • Anonymous says:

      We learned a ton from the hospital nurses (like, always put a clean diaper down before you remove the dirty one, and slather the baby’s bottom with Vaseline/aquaphor every diaper change until all of the tar-like poop is gone). We also took a one night newborn basic care class that was helpful.

      • Famouscait says:

        Use the hospital nurses for all they’re worth while you’re there. While I was recovering, for example, hubby went with the nurse to learn how to bathe the baby. The doting grandparents were not allowed into this session because he really felt like he wanted to focus without the non-stop photo-taking, etc. Also visit your baby in the nursery (if you have that option) so you see how chill newborns can actually be with light, sound, commotion, etc. It made me realize that he wasn’t as fragile as I thought. You can do this!

    • Infant Care Class says:

      Ditto to the infant care class recommendation. We took one at Virginia Hospital Center, and while a lot of the things we were told were no-brainers in hindsight, it did provide some level of comfort. The maternity nurses were also very helpful and kind.

      And for after the first few weeks, try to find a new mom’s group (PACE, Breastfeeding Center, etc) — it’s good to have a support network of other moms who are going through the same thing.

      • CPA Lady says:

        My husband and I were in your shoes. We took an infant care class which comforted my husband way more than it comforted me. Something I didn’t realize is how fast you get practice. A newborn often eats 10+ times a day and dirties as many diapers. So by the time you have a two week old, you’ve changed over 100 diapers and fed your baby over 100 times. I was shocked and horrified by this information when I was pregnant, but actually everything becomes second nature SO FAST.

        Also, do not get a bunch of clothes you need to put on over your newborn’s head. Zip up footie PJs or kimono style tops until they are big enough to not be terrifyingly floppy.

        The What to Expect 1st Year book was awesome and reassuring too (unless the what to expect pregnancy book, which I found to be terrifying and judgey)

        • PregLawyer says:

          Almost all onesies can pull up over the baby’s legs/butt instead of going over the baby’s head. You don’t need to buy specific styles. :)

    • Anonymous says:

      Baby 411. It’s just simple, Q&A style, calm advice.

    • D. Meagle says:

      Can you get a baby nurse for the first few days after you bring the baby home? I had one after my first was born, and she was a great resource – showed us how to change, feed, bathe and dress the baby. Plus, I had a section, so it was nice to have an extra set of hands to help out while I recovered.

    • Tunnel says:

      I was in the same boat as the OP 5 short months ago. The two books I have found most helpful are: Secrets of a Baby Whisperer and What to Expect the First Year (it’s by month, so you only have to read a few pages at a time).
      I do not like the Baby 411 format. It can be helpful to find a one-off question, but not to teach you how to care for baby! You got this mama!

    • Our hospital “requires” a 1-hour newborn care class before you leave the hospital with baby (they can’t really make you go but they try). That’s helpful and you’ll get some practice for the 2 days you’re in the hospital too. If you can, keep the baby with you and do everything yourself rather than keeping him/her in the nursery. The nurses will help. Way back when I had my first I had What to Expect the First Year and found it really helpful and comprehensive (though I guess the What to Expect books are out of vogue now?). The drive home with our first newborn was really surreal. We were driving extra slow and saying to each other, “I cannot believe they let us just take him home with us – we have no idea what we are doing!” But it all came really naturally and worked out fine. Good luck!

    • Katarina says:

      I found the nurses very useful. I was also surprised to find that my instincts worked better than I expected. I took an infant car class at the hospital, and read a bunch of books (Baby 411, Taking Home Your Newborn, and the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, which was probably the most useful from a practical standpoint). Neither of us had any baby experience, but we figured it out.

    • My husband loved this book. was very piratical and easy to get through before DD was born, and we grabbed it as a reference a few times in those first weeks.

      I gave birth the day we were scheduled for the infant-care/breastfeeding class, so I don’t know how helpful they were. We did have to go to a ~30 minute class before leaving the hospital, where things like baths, cord stump care, and snot sucking were covered. The nurses also were great about telling us what they were doing, they taught us how to swaddle like pros, and were happy to answer any questions.

      • Anonymous says:

        +1 to this. Our childbirth class covered infant care and the nurses at the hospital helped, but I learned 90% from this book. I had the same situation and concerns as you.

        Baby is alive 3 weeks in so I’d say it worked :)

      • Katarina says:

        I think this is what I meant instead of Taking home your newborn.

      • Anonymama says:

        The idea of a “piratical” baby care book is making me laugh… “Argh, thar be dirty diaparrghs”

        • EB0220 says:

          This made me LOL.

          Arrgh, ye should be glad I wasn’t nursing me wee lassy whilst reading this, matey, or ye would’ve walked the plank!

          Sorry. Long day.

    • NewMomAnontheSecond says:

      Pay attention in the hospital and then just follow your instincts! I was truly amazed. You need to do so little at first. If necessary, BAby411.

    • Anonymous says:

      You have good book recs here–I will just add: Trust your gut and instincts!!

    • We were in the same boat, so we took a basic newborn class at Inova Alexandria Hospital. I think it was around 3-4 hours and covered all of the basics. It put both of us at ease. Other than that, ask the nurses at the hospital lots of questions, and you’ll learn as you go.

    • Sarabeth says:

      We liked the APA guide. But also – consider a postpartum doula. They do a lot of stuff, but usually one of the big advantages of a PP doula over other kinds of help is that they will demonstrate/help with babycare. Also get the number of a good lactation consultant who does house visits, if you intend to try to breastfeed. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a physical person showing you what you need to do.

  6. Butter says:

    Hi all – does anyone have recommendations for maternity workout capris? I’m fine on tops, but the belly is starting to get annoying doing sun salutations in yoga as my current pants are hitting at just the wrong spot and I find myself constantly adjusting. I think I’d like something that goes over the belly and is wicking so I can use them for spinning too. The two options I’ve found are the Ingrid & Isabel capris from Nordstrom and a pair from Destination Maternity, but would love to hear recommendations if people have them.

    • I have been happy with Old Navy’s maternity workout line and also bought a few pairs of regular workout capris at Costco in a size up. I wear those under belly of course. I’m in my third trimester now and they’re all still working for me. Spinning may or may not work for you all the way to the end of your pregnancy. I’m done with cycling of any kind for the duration of my pregnancy now because I can’t deal with my knees in my belly anymore.

      • layered bob says:

        I’ve also been really happy with Old Navy’s maternity workout line, which was a surprise to me because I was an exercise clothes snob pre-pregnancy. Definitely worth a look at least.

    • Tunnel says:

      Old Navy (cheaper) and Gap (better quality).

    • Claudette says:

      I loved the Ingrid & Isabel BeMaternity workout capris with the crossover panel from Target — they felt very supportive without being too restrictive (though I did have to size up).

  7. Hi ladies! Curious if anyone has the GB Qbit stroller and whether you like it? We went to babies r us yesterday planning to compare lightweight strollers and ended up buying the Qbit as a bit of an impulse purchase – it’s on sale, incidentally, and we really liked it in-store. But it’s a newer model/brand so there are very few reviews online about how it holds up and works in the real world. (From the few reviews online, it compares to the mountain buggy nano, which folks have raved about here.) Anyone have one that can share?

  8. Please tell me if I’m being unreasonable–my husband thinks I am.

    We just bought a house about a month ago. It was an estate sale and in rough shape so we hired painters to repaint the entire inside, and then floor guys to refinish the hardwood. We were told to do the paint first because it’s easier to touch up a few accidental gouges in the wall from the floor guys than it is to fix gouges in the floor from the painters. The painters did a great job and every surface in the house was painted. The floor guys have been working for about two weeks and are almost done.

    The problem is that the floor guys didn’t cover any of the trim before they stained the floors, so all of the baseboard in the house is now covered with splotches of dark brown stain. It is a giant mess. When I stopped by last week after they stained for the first time, I asked the guy about the baseboard and he told me it would clean right off (in broken english–but that’s what I understood). Today we went back and it’s clear that they’ve tried to paint over splotches of brown with trim paint in some sections (presumably found in our basement left over from the painters). We can tell they painted because there is paint on one of the floors where they splattered, and brush strokes on the quarter round where they did a sloppy job.

    I’m livid. Literally, there are splotches of stain all over every section of baseboard in the house. The stair risers and spindles are also smeared in stain from where they tried to wipe it away. It seems like it would have been so much easier if they’d just prepped properly and covered the trim before staining. If they now paint over the stain, I’m really concerned that in a few months it is going to bleed through the paint and show on all of the baseboards. I really think all of the baseboards need to be primed and repainted. It’s a non-trivial expense, and I don’t want these guys doing the painting because their work is sloppy and they’ve already gotten paint on the brand new floor. My husband tells me that I’m “unreasonable to expect the paint to still be perfect.” I think the stain on the trim is unacceptable.

    What would you ask for from the flooring contractor? In a perfect world, I’d get a quote from my painter to reprime and repaint all of the baseboards and stairs and deduct that from our flooring bill. Is that crazy?

    • I have some (not a ton, but a good bit) of experience with contractors and renovation and I would be livid, as well. I think you’re right to expect that they cover the cost of repainting the baseboards. Whether they will agree to it or not is another question, but you’re not off base.

    • You are not being unreasonable at all. It would be one thing if there was one small spot, but to have it all over the base boards is just lazy and unprofessional. The whole reason you hire professionals is so that you don’t have to deal with these problems. I painted a bunch of our own walls and got paint on the ceiling, but if I paid someone to do it I would be livid if they did this and didn’t fix it. That is literally what you are paying them to do.

      • Not 100% sure you got perfect advice here. I’ve done this before, and we did paint, floors, paint. Thus, we had built into the plan to have the painters come back and fix up what the floor guys would most likely mess up. Nevertheless, it sounds like these guys were unreasonably sloppy and should cover your painters coming back to fix this. I would get the boss to come back and push him to cover this.

    • SoCalAtty says:

      No, you are not being unreasonable at all. My family is made up of a bunch of contractors, my husband is an electrical contractor, and I have a TON of experience with this.

      Livid is close to what I would be. Furious is another good word. “Get your rear ends back in here and fix it” would be my demand to the flooring contractor. They should have taped and put plastic over your walls before they did the stain. If they don’t want to fix it, they can pay your painter to come back and fix it.

  9. Any recommendations on diaper bags? I have a Ju ju be BFF for reference and only one nine month old boy, but I just find it isn’t large enough. But the next size up there is huge! I’m probably just packing too much, but what other brands/styles do you all have?

    • It’s embarrassing how many diaper bags I went through before I found some I liked. My two favorites were the Skip Hop Studio Select and the Storksak Olivia. The size was perfect for all the extra stuff I needed to throw in there, I liked the option of the longer, cross-body strap when I needed my hands free, and the exterior pockets for bottles/keys/phone were essential. I got them in nylon and have washed and dried both in the washer/dryer and had no issues.

    • Tunnel says:

      I don’t have a rec as much as a wishlist. I have a Kate Spade Stevie bag and wish that it had more outside pockets and a shoulder strap. So that is what I would be looking for in the future.

    • The one I’m using most is a Diaper Dude messenger style bag. It holds way more than it looks like it should, has tons of pockets inside and out, and after almost 2 years of use, looks brand new.

  10. Famouscait says:

    My 10m old son has gone from being a very laid back, hardly cries, happy to be with anyone/doing anything baby, to a almost always crying, unhappy with pretty much every scenario little toddler person. Is this just part of the dreaded teething process? He’s got 2 teeth already, so there’s a full mouth left to grow, but… dang. This sucks. Hubby and I are snappy at each other. It sucks to stay in, sucks to go out. Baby has been this way since about the 9m mark. Thoughts, advice, or commiseration would be greatly appreciated. (Instructions as to how to fix the baby would also be happily received.)

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Have you tried giving Advil? If that doesn’t help, maybe try an earlier bedtime for a while. When my kiddo goes through a growth spurt or a big developmental leap, she sometimes goes to bed an hour before her usual bedtime. That age is right around crawling (or walking, in our case) and teething. Also, ear infections! If your little guy has had a cold recently, an ear infection is a definite possibility.

      I’ve got an intense but happy kiddo, and she goes through rough patches of separation anxiety that usually don’t last more than a week or two. She has always reverted back to her happy self afterward. Lots of hugs and cuddles…

      • Famouscait says:

        Yes, he’s crawling and cruising. We’ve done Tylenol for overnight (and he does sleep like a champ) but perhaps we need to give it during the day as well. Thanks – it helps just to hear that someone else has had their kid go through this and come out the other side.

        • POSITA says:

          Advil works much better for teething pain than Tylenol. If your Ped approves, I’d use Advil.

          • Meg Murry says:

            +1 to Advil (generic = ibuprofen) over Tylenol for teething pain.

            Other advice: alternate for a little while. One of you stays home with baby for an hour or two while the other goes to the gym, for a walk or even just to the grocery store alone. Then switch. Or have one person load up cranky in the stroller while the other person takes a nap (or at least lays on the couch with eyes closed). Somehow, dealing with a cranky baby is easier if you have a definite time period in which it will be over, and there is no need for the 2 of you to both be miserable simultaneously.

            It will get better. But there will always be rough patches, so best you and husband learn to deal with it (and how to say “I can’t answer you without snapping right now, so I’m just going to walk away”)

    • anonyc says:

      Second the Advil (or Tylenol), if it’s clear this is a teething thing. Also, I’ve found that teething time often means ear infection time, so it may be worth looking to see if he’s grabbing his ears at all or even popping a fever. My current 16 month old has had a series of ear infections, which may or may not relate to her teething over the last few months. I also think it’s worth talking to your ped, who may have some suggestions and who might be able to better spot any medical issue that could be causing the grumpies. More sleep is also a possibility.

      Sorry you’re dealing with this. If it seems like something is wrong, definitely keep trying different things until you nail it. It’s frequently the case that if my kids goes into full cranky/unreasonable mode, a day or two later they are sick with something. You think I’d realize by now that temperament changes presage actual illness, but many times it’s only when I look back that I connect the dots.

    • POSITA says:

      We’ve often found that when we have have a a bad day or two that our dd was sick and we didn’t know it. When we inevitably catch it a few days later, then we’ll feel like crud too and realize what was happening–sometimes it’s a terrible sore throat, other times its an awful headache. The illness is usually otherwise non-symptomatic (at least for the first 1-2 days before we figure it out).

      Our worst three days ever were the three days before she erupted in Hand Foot and Mouth. She must have felt crappy, but was unable to tell us and didn’t act sick. She just had a terrible attitude. Now if things are particularly bad we will sometimes try Advil to see if it helps.

      I agree that it’s worth trying Advil if you suspect teething.

    • This was our worst period with my son (the 9-11 month period). We had a crazy sleep regression, teething, and just overall crankiness. I think it is a difficult time for them developmentally.

      For us, we did sleep training, camilla, and advil. I found the camilla worked best for during the day to take some of the edge off and help him nap and we used tylenon or advil when we could tell he was in pain.

  11. NewMomAnon says:

    My daughter loves watching cat videos and dog videos on Youtube, and this weekend I found out that there is a kids version of Youtube that doesn’t have comments and screens the videos for child-safe content! It also automatically flips the screen sideways so it doesn’t move around if the kiddo swings my phone around in excitement, and has a bunch of kid channels on the main screen.

    I’m more excited about this than the my pediatrician probably wants me to be….

  12. How many people actually used their stroller bassinet? I love the look (although frankly would love to buy a proper pram) but have a suspicion that between babywearing and the carseat, it wouldn’t get much use–especially since baby is due in December when it will be cold and rainy even if we don’t get much snow.

    Trying to decide between buying a UPPAbaby Vista and a UPPAbaby Cruz and the (included with the Vista) bassinet is one of the differences. If we bought a Cruz AND a bassinet, there is only a minimal price difference between the two.

    For reference, we live in a condo (no stairs) and mostly walk, but do own a car and because most of our friends live in the suburbs, drive about 3-4x per month.

    • I had a bassinet and loved it for the first two months but didn’t get a lot of use after that. I got a really warm sleeping bag style stroller bag to put in it so I could just put a hat on the baby, put her in it and go out the door. This made it way easier to go out than if I had to dress her in a snowsuit etc. I found that when nothing else would settle her, a walk outside in the cool air helped. She was a November baby. Daily walks are one of the best things you can do for yourself and baby so it’s worth the money if you’ll walk more. Car seats aren’t great sleep positioning for small babies during longer walks.

    • We didn’t have one, but didn’t even use our snap-n-go with carseat much (late winter baby who was just not happy in his carseat until he could sit up and look around). I might advise waiting till you meet your baby to see if he or she would tolerate it!

    • Anonymous says:

      Just went through this decision and went with the Cruz. We already had a sleeping place for baby (hand-me-down Pack and Play), and hope to baby-wear a lot, so it seemed the Vista was an unnecessary expense. We got the Mesa too, which clips in as easily as the bassinet onto the Cruz.

      If you are thinking about having a second in a couple years, you may want to go Vista, as Cruz can’t convert well for 2 kiddos.

    • (was) due in june says:

      We have the Vista, after much angst regarding Vista vs Cruz. We live in a suburb in a walking neighborhood. I **love** the bassinet. Baby (14weeks) is so much more comfortable hanging out in the bassinet than the car seat, which gets really hot from all the padding. She’s also a lot happier because she’s able to move her arms and legs around instead of being stuck basically immobile in the car seat. When we go on walks, when we go to the mall, when we go out to eat, baby is in bassinet. And since it’s approved for overnight sleep, she can nap comfortably in there in her swaddle, which she can’t in the car seat of course. So at friend’s homes, she hangs out in the bassinet. When we travel, she sleeps in there. We do wear her too (yesterday’s mall trip was both bassinet and k’tan, for example). And the sunshade is amazing. I love that bassinet.

      Also a plug for the Vista. It’s a heavy, large beast relative to the Cruz, but it holds sooo much stuff and it handles like a dream, even on uneven terrain. And though I haven’t tried this personally, my friend’s husband takes theirs trail running for 6+ miles at a time on wide, packed dirt trails or paved paths. I’m not sure the Cruz, with its smaller wheels, can do that as well.

      • (was) due in june says:

        And we use a chicco keyfit with adapter on our Vista. Very happy with the chicco.

      • (was) due in june says:

        I realized I wasn’t clear – we both walk around the neighborhood with baby in bassinet and drive places, taking bassinet in the trunk ir backseat for use after we get there.

    • I have an UppaBaby Cruz after engaging in precisely this pro/con weighing. Ultimately, we travel by car most of the time, so the time when the baby would have been in the bassinet was the time when we just used the carseat attachment for the Cruz. We knew we weren’t having another baby, so we didn’t need the flexibility of the Vista to use with two kids. I’ve been really happy with the decision.

    • My November baby didn’t get to use his Vista bassinet at all for walks, etc, but it was what he slept in exclusively at night until he got too big and started shaking it!

    • Anonymous says:

      My baby is 10 weeks old and has outgrown the bassinette (25 inches long). She didn’t love being in it either- would only be happy being in it when she was drowsy. She is happier in the car seat with adapter (chicco) or we have just put the toddler seat on the vista (with an infant insert although frankly she doesn’t need it) and she loves that too. The vista fully reclines so with an insert you can actually use the toddler seat from birth, although we didn’t. I am still glad we went with the vista as it gives us adaptability for a second baby down the road

  13. Claudette says:

    Following up on my Friday post about our nanny, who informed us at the end of her second week with us that she’s been charged with reckless endangerment (thanks again to all who responded on Friday):

    Her prior employers are not actually showing up as witnesses for her. I asked her before she left on Friday if it would be OK if we contacted them to get their perspective, and she said yes. Then she texted me later to clarify that she meant to say that the parents were supportive of her in general and she thought they would come to court with her if she asked them to. Well, I doubt they would, considering that the father was shocked when we asked him about her reckless endangerment charge; she had told them she had just gotten a speeding ticket. Granted, speeding was the basis for the charge, but I suspect that the parents wouldn’t have recommended her to us so enthusiastically when we checked her references if they had known the full story.

    My husband and I went around and around about this over the weekend. He does not want to give her another chance, and I do. What we are planning to do is to give her four weeks’ notice today. (I drafted the contract so that either party could terminate the relationship for any reason at all with four weeks’ notice to the other party, so I’m not concerned about liability for terminating her.) We will start the process of looking for another nanny. After her court date — which is conveniently about four weeks off — if she is found guilty, that will be the end of it. We can’t employ a nanny who’s been convicted of reckless endangerment when the people she was recklessly endangering were her prior charges. If she is found not guilty, we will consider rehiring her if we have, over the course of the four weeks, come to feel comfortable enough with her to get over the fact that she was less than honest with us about this whole situation.

    Does this sound too convoluted? Is giving her four weeks’ notice but a possibility of being rehired just weird? I do want to give her another chance — I think she is very good with the baby — plus I don’t really see any other way to encourage her to do a good job over the next four weeks. Ugh.

    • I would not personally feel comfortable leaving my child (especially a baby who can’t tell you if something is wrong) for 4 weeks with a person I do not know well, who I have discovered has been less than completely honest, who I have just terminated for cause. You don’t know her well enough to know how she’ll react. I would just wait until you know for sure your plan and then let her go and pay severance if you have to and find a temporary backup childcare option while you search for a replacement or find a replacement in the meantime before you tell her she’s fired.

    • Anonymous says:

      She lied to you. She lied to her prior employer. The put the prior employer’s children in danger. Please just fire her already.

    • Claudette says:

      I should clarify — yes, the contract of course enables us to terminate immediately for cause, including being dishonest. But she voluntarily told us what’s going on now and what happened that gave rise to the charge. So instead of, I don’t know, just calling in sick the morning of her court date, she told us a month beforehand that she had to go to court and, moreover, was honest that it was for a charge of reckless endangerment based on her allegedly speeding while she had her previous family’s two kids in the car.

      And, to completely give her the benefit of the doubt (which I admit I’m still not ready to do), here’s a plausible account of what happened that day: She was going a few miles an hour over the speed limit. A police officer, let’s pretend a white guy, pulled her over and saw that she was a young black woman with a white baby and toddler in the back. When the police officer told her she was speeding, she had the temerity to ask by what method he had measured her speed (which she actually did do, in her own account). Pissed off, the police officer decided she’d actually been going forty miles an hour over the speed limit, which in his wide discretion under Maryland law he decided was reckless endangerment.

      At any rate, we will think some more about this before we talk to her.

      • I wrote a long comment that got erased! I’ve worked with a few nannies, and at least in my experience, it is very hard to let go of a nanny. You’ve likely carefully vetted this person, and selected her to care for your child. You become invested in them almost immediately b/c you have to be — otherwise, how can you hand over your child and walk out the door?! It is remarkably difficult to believe that you’ve left your precious child for even one minute in the care of someone who has poor instincts or is otherwise untrustworthy. Thus, it’s easy to overlook or over-rationalize issues to the benefit of the nanny. I’ve done it, and I’ve seen friends do it. In a way, it’s self-protection; you just never want to believe that your child was not well cared for at any point. That said, I would advise you to cut your losses now. You will never fully trust her, and you’ll always wonder. I would terminate for cause now and provide a little severance, if you can.

        In my case , we had a nanny who spoke very little English, but who was very adept at hiding it during the interview/initial conversations. I justified keeping her for a long time, and even posted here about whether to keep her (I had a ton of benefits — she sang to him! She would teach him Spanish! He smiled at her when she showed up! she was never late! but then my child ended up with food allergies, and it was immediately clear she either was disregarding or did not understand my instructions regarding feeding him – and routinely fed him new foods or foods he couldn’t have). It was painful, but life improved a thousand percent after we terminated her. I didn’t realize how stressed I was – constantly waiting for a phone call that he was reacting to something. Now, I don’t leave for work with a pit in my stomach. His new nanny is amazing, and voluntarily went through training with an EpiPen and he is thriving with her. I can’t believe what a difference it has made in my overall stress level.

        • Is this the explanation she gave you or just a made up example? Because a million “plausible” explanations mean nothing unless one actually applies. Does she deny she was actually speeding/going that fast or does she actually have some reasonable explanation for what happened that, if true, would make you feel better?

        • Claudette says:

          TFC, that’s really helpful – thank you. I remember reading your posts about your nanny situation, and I’m so glad you were able to find a great replacement.

          Meme, what I posted above is my made-up account of how it could have happened (except for the detail about her asking how the officer measured her speed, which she said she actually did). What she told me was just that, with the traffic and other circumstances she described, she knew she could not have been going very fast.

          As much as if not more than the incident itself, which will be adjudicated, I’m bothered by what other posters here are calling, I suppose accurately, her dishonesty: that she didn’t disclose the pending charge before we hired her, that she didn’t tell the kids’ parents the whole truth about the incident at the time, and that she told me – or at least let me believe – that the parents were going to be her witnesses. (With regard to the last point, on Friday, when she told me she would have to appear in court, I asked her if she had any witnesses; she said Yes, the parents, my former employers; I said, Oh, but they weren’t eyewitnesses, so you mean character witnesses? and she said Yes – granted, she may not have 100% understood my questions, but it was clear from our subsequent conversation that I thought they were going to appear in court on her behalf, and she didn’t correct the misperception until she realized we were actually going to contact them.)

      • POSITA says:

        Why didn’t she tell the other parents that she was charged with reckless endangerment of their kids??? Doesn’t that bother you? I’m not convinced that she’s told you the whole story.

    • Tunnel says:

      It’s a tough situation. I just want to chime in to say that the reckless endangerment charge is probably just the required charge when you are speeding over a certain amount with kids in the car. So if the prior employer knew that she was speeding with his/her kids in the car, I don’t consider it to be a lie just because he didn’t know the name of the charge was reckless endangerment.

  14. POSITA says:

    Are you really comfortable having the nanny watch your child after you’ve given her notice in this circumstance? That would make me really nervous. There’s a reason that employers walk out employees immediately after they pink slip them.

    • POSITA says:

      Do you have nothing in your contract that would allow you to immediately terminate for cause and without severance? If not, I would add a “for cause” termination clause to your next contract. Dishonesty was one of the reasons we could terminate without severance.

    • D. Meagle says:

      This. It would be one thing if you had a long standing relationship, and she was being terminated because you were moving or the kids no longer needed a full time nanny, but in a case like this it is best to make the termination effective immediately and just pay her out severance for the notice period you are contemplating giving her.

  15. First day of daycare for the little one — over all, I am happy with his daycare, the age at which he’s starting (omg he loves to watch other kids), but still feeling like the looooongest day ever! He’ll be okay, right?

    • (former) preg 3L says:

      Aaw mama he’ll be great!

    • He’ll do great! It sounds like he’s still an infant, so he has a big day of cuddles, bottles, naps, and free play with other babies ahead of him. The infants at our daycare always look like they’re having so much fun together. And if he’s already a toddler – all the better! DS loves all his daycare buddies – they have such a blast together.

      But take care of yourself! This will be a long week for you, too, so be kind to yourself and indulge in a few treats to get yourself through the week.

    • thanks! my spouse picked him up (half day today) and reports him to be in good spirits, and our provider sent a picture of him playing happily. he’s generally a pretty mellow baby so I hope he takes it all in stride!

  16. SoCalAtty says:

    So…today is my first day of maternity leave. My c-section is scheduled for next Tuesday…this is weird! I know work is going on at my office but…I’m not there!

    Totally irrational anxiety, I know, but they are going to turn off my work email today / change my passwords, so I won’t even know what is going on. I have a couple of friends I will keep in touch with via personal email, but this is just strange.

    • It’s really hard, I think, to unwind and get used to not doing something. I think it’s wonderful that they actually cut off your work email – no pressure to respond or even check.

    • Clementine says:

      Hey! Congratulations!!!

      Go get a pedicure! See a movie at 10 AM on a Tuesday! Meet a friend (or your partner!) for breakfast out on a Thursday morning!

      It’s not irrational- you’ve basically spent the majority of your life pushing to get to the place you are now professionally and are suddenly just expected to put it on hold! I know I can tell you (like everyone else has) that it will work out, but instead I will just send you good vibes.

  17. Baby CC says:

    Considering getting a new credit card for all the baby stuff once baby comes. Right now I use 2 cards and only like one of them so have been thinking of getting a new card for a while anyway, plus I feel like this would be a good way for us to keep track of all our baby spending. I’m less concerned with interest rates because we pay everything in full each month, but looking for something with good rewards/other benefits. Any recommendations?

    • Bloom says:

      I joined Amazon Mom/Amazon prime and also got the Amazon credit card. It is 3% cash back on Amazon purchases, 2% on gas, groceries, and drugstores, and 1% on everything else. I love it!! We order just about everything baby through Amazon, and use subscribe and save for formula/diapers/wipes and now other toddler snacks. Also, they are usually running a deal where you can sign up for the card and get a $100 bonus for spending a certain amount.