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I saw this product in Real Simple magazine and thought it was a great idea to help you pare down your makeup bag or to use for travel. You go to the website and select which pots of makeup you want as part of the stack, and then the pots screw together for storage. I like how the essentials are all available, and you’d probably just need one blush-sized brush. The rest you could apply with your fingertips. Each set contains lip & cheek tint, bronzer, concealer, highlighter, and setting powder and is $66 on Subtl Beauty’s website; individual products are all under $15. Stack EssentialsSales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Warm footed pajamas says
Does anyone have a recommendation for what I think is called a blanket sleeper for an 8-ish month old? We’re taking our California baby to the mid-Atlantic for Thanksgiving and he’ll need something a little toaster than he’s been wearing here. I envision this as essentially a fleece sleep-n-play but could be off-base. TIA!
Anonymous says
Carters has fleece footed Pjs or you could add a halo sleep sack over the current pjs
AwayEmily says
Yup, Carters has lots of fleece footed pjs.
Anon says
Sleep sack. We are in Boston and use the fleece ones during the winter. Halo and/or Carters would suffice.
blueberries says
Deedee sleepsack! They’re a little pricey, but easier to use and breathe more than the fleece ones.
warm footed pajamas says
Thanks for this rec–haven’t encountered Deedee before and I’m interested! Have you tried their quilted pajamas? What’s the sizing like?
blueberries says
The quilted pajamas were nice, but snug.
Anon says
Yep fleece footed PJs are good. At night, it really depends on the temperature of where you’ll be sleeping. My Midwest baby frequently slept in cotton footie PJs and a cotton sleepsack but on those nights we kept our house pretty warm (thermostat on 69, her room was more like 72). If either of the layers was fleece we’d turn the heat down a degree or two.
Redux says
Agree with this. If you’re staying in a modern accommodation (updated house, hotel, etc.) you probably won’t see much difference in indoor room temperature. Even in my drafty old house in the cold northeast, we kept the bedroom temps pretty warm with a baby. I would not spend the money on a weighty sleep sack for a short trip like this. A fleece footed pj is sufficient, and you can always layer a cotton pj underneath if you need an extra layer.
NYCer says
This. Our apartment in NYC is honestly warmer in the winter than my family’s house in California.
Anonymous says
In my experience, most buildings in the northeast are overheated in the winter, and there are some apartments that are boiling hot because the occupants don’t control their own thermostats.
warm footed pajamas says
Thanks to all for the recs! Someone upthread suggested the Baby Deedee sleepsacks, and while they look good, I’m particularly interested in the same company’s quilted footed pajamas. Can anyone comment on their sizing (and anything else you’d advise someone looking at them)? FWIW, we’ve found Bert’s Bees to be large in terms of length but small in terms of thigh circumference; Carter’s to be right on the money for both length and width (i.e. he’s just grow, out of the 6 month size, in both directions, at 7 months), and the Target Cloud Island stuff to be enormous (we retired the 0-3 month sleep-n-plays at 6 months and are about to do the same with the 0-3 month onesies).
Anonymous says
Look into Woolino. They make soft merino wool pjs and sleep sacks that are meant to be 3 or 4 season. Super speedy but totally worth it.
CapHillAnon says
+1 on the Woolino sleep sack. We got the size 2-4T for my toddler and it’s been incredible: such a workhorse, really, really soft, and the perfect weight. My toddler has worn it almost every night for 1.5 years now.
FP says
If you’re still reading – I just got a quilted sleepsack from Amazon, brand is Moon and Back by Hanna Andersson. It’s excellent quality and the price point ($25) is perfect.
Baby Poop says
TMI – My 8 month old baby is the loudest pooper ever. He grunts and groans. He makes the craziest faces. The actual poop is not hard and we give him lots of prunes and liquid. Is this normal? Is this because his poops are now more solid?
Anon. says
Totally normal.
Anon says
It’s very normal. You don’t need to worry if the poop is a good consistency.
Anonanonanon says
Normal and hilarious
Annie says
Normal – and will help you figure out when to potty train, so actually good.
Anon says
Hopefully a fun question for Monday. I got my almost 2 year old this dress for family photos: https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=481652002
How would you style it? I was thinking pink leggings and rose gold ballet flat Mary Janes (similar style to the ones in the photo but more pink and less yellow). DH pretty much has to wear blue jeans, gray polo and a blue sweater, he wears super casual clothes to work and has a very limited “nice” wardrobe. I was thinking of blue jeans and a pink sweater for me – is that too matchy-matchy all of us in pink & blue?
Anonymous says
No, not too matchy, that sounds adorable
AwayEmily says
I would say not too matchy especially since I assume it’ll be slightly different shades of blue.
FVNC says
I also think that sounds great and not too matchy, and I also wish I didn’t know this dress existed — it’s adorable, and I’m tempted to buy it for my own daughter!
Anon says
It’s SO cute in person. I rarely go to brick and mortar stores anymore but I was in Old Navy this weekend and when I saw it I just had to have it.
Anonymous says
In cute things our kids do news: My 3 year old was aghast at all the Washington Nationals fans who were not doing the right motions to Baby Shark this weekend.
“Mommy, they’re doing it WRONG! Baby shark is like this [*chompy hands*], only daddy shark uses your arms. WHY DON’T THEY KNOW?!”
Anon says
Ha, I love that! My 1.5 year old is obsessed with the video, but she can’t say shark very well so she goes around the house singing “baby doo doo” and chomping her hands.
Jeffiner says
Ha! If she were in the stadium, my daughter would have yelled at all the fans around us to do it correctly, too.
lsw says
Love this!
H13 says
What are your six-year-olds playing with aside from legos? My son is lego obsessed and still plays with magnatiles and some duplos with his 2.5 yo brother but, as we are moving baby toys out, I am wondering what other open-ended indoor toys are worth investing in. Thanks!
Anonymous says
Mine is a girl, but art/craft/projects. Scissors, markers, tape, glue, etc. when she has boys over as play dates they paint big cardboard boxes, make treasure maps, etc.
Also superhero costumes are still huge. And all the sports gear: balls, nets, hoops, racquets, cool accessories.
Katarina says
Giant waffle blocks are a winner for imaginative play for both my 6 year old and 3 year old. Also dress-up clothes. He likes doing art projects, but I have a pretty low tolerance for messes.
Anonymous says
K’nex have been a big hit for my little builder. Also Snap Circuits. He’s also into origami/paper crafts.
Anonymous says
I saw vintage tinker toys at a neighbor’s house this weekend and almost lost it having my own flashback. –Excuse me, Jill, while I go play with these toys from my childhood that were my favorite.–
rosie says
Lincoln logs saved from our childhood are definitely a favorite past time for grown-up guests.
Spirograph says
Yesss Lincoln logs! My grandparents have some, and have probably played with them on every visit for the last 30 years.
Anonymous says
My 6 year old boy still likes duplos and train tracks if younger siblings are playing with them. He also stages battles with a sibling using castles and various animal figurines and cars to represent the military forces. But mostly he wants to play sports. We have a small hockey net and an over-the-door basketball hoop that suffice for indoor options.
Anonymous says
Art supplies are a big hit with my 5 year old boy and 7 year old girl. Construction paper, paints, scissors,markers, crayons etc.
anon says
Cardboard boxes and blue tape. I bought this for a friend and one as a stocking stuffer for my kids – I hope it means that our blue tape usage will be significantly cut down: https://www.amazon.com/Makedo-Cardboard-Construction-Kid-Friendly-Classroom/dp/B07DN8968R/ref=asc_df_B07DN8968R/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309833542044&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11054149887666375908&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031971&hvtargid=pla-493893111985&psc=1
Mine are 6, 8 and 11, and they mostly play with legos, playmobile, magnatiles, and sports stuff. They also really like their stuffed animals (lots of pretend hockey games). And paint.
Anonymous says
Oh this is a good one. my 6 year old has started collecting cereal boxes and TP rolls in a drawer so he can build things out of them. I have a bunch of painter tape somewhere, I’ll give that to him so he stops swiping and using up rolls of scotch tape.
Anonymous says
We have this set and it works pretty well. It didn’t get that much use, but it sounds like your kids are more into boxcraft than mine.
AwayEmily says
I know this has been asked VERY recently but I can’t find it…sources for warm leggings/pants for toddlers? Think “playing outside for an hour on a 40 degree day” level of warm (if it’s super cold they will put the kids in snowpants).
Anon says
I usually layer cotton leggings under Hanna sweat pants for cold but dry days. I think gap makes lined pants, those might be more what you’re looking for. And I just recently bought kiddo neon pink fleece joggers, but TBD how warm they are (I personally don’t find fleece very warm, but I know I’m odd).
FVNC says
I recently bought a pair of Lands End fleece-lined leggings for my daughter, and they seem pretty warm and thick. She’s been happily wearing them out and about in our 40-50 degree weather.
Anon says
gap seems to have a line of thicker leggings and we recently got some from Zara that are pretty thick
Anon says
Maybe I’m doing it wrong but I just send my kid to daycare in normal pants? The classroom is warm, maybe 74ish, so I worry that she’d overheat in fleece-lined pants. They put on a warm coat and hat and mittens to go outside if it’s below about 50 outside, so I figure she’s probably fine with just that stuff.
AwayEmily says
I took the “regular pants” strategy at my old daycare but the new one is pretty outdoor-focused and so the preschoolers will spend a good couple of hours outside every day even if it’s in the low 40s (which it is for much of the winter here). Her thin cotton leggings aren’t quuuuiiite enough for that, I think.
SG says
Fleece leggings from Old Navy, got them on sale a few weeks ago for $6/pair.
Anonymous says
This salty new englander just laughed at the idea of special pants for 40 degree days. Those would be called “pants” :-).
But I think the real answer is jeans, sweatpants, corduroys- not light cotton leggings.
AwayEmily says
Ha, totally, if I was dealing with New England weather I’d go with “any pants will do,” but I’m from a much colder area than New England (think Minnesota…) so we are very particular about cold-weather gear!
Anonymous says
The question was about 40 degree days though! :) Here in MA daycares don’t take kids outside if it’s bad weather OR under 25. And if it’s 25-30 degrees, they put the kids in snow pants regardless of snow just to keep them cozy.
Anon says
I’m in the upper Midwest. Kids officially don’t go out if the windchill is below 25 and I’ve noticed the teachers fudge it a bit, so realistically they’re not outside if the air temperature is below about 35. In the 35-50 range, I think most kids are ok in normal pants, with a coat, hat and mittens.
shortperson says
this will out me but i wore long underwear under my jeans at 45 degrees and under throughout college in boston. now i live in socal!
Anonymous says
Fleece lined leggings from Carters. Not too warm for inside play but not too cold for outside play. I used the old navy lined twill pants as the equivalent for boys.
DLC says
It’s on the pricier side, but I invest in a pair of wool or wool/ silk leggings every year. Warm, but breathable so no overheating, and thin so they later well.
AwayEmily says
You guys are the best, thanks!
Anonanonanon says
Looks like I may have missed the boat, but I invested in merino wool “base layer” pants for my toddler and we’re loving them. They can either go under regular pants, or be worn with thick socks and cute little boots under dresses depending on the temp
rosie says
I don’t think anyone mentioned H&M — they make lined joggers and thicker leggings that I think are good for that temp and not too hot inside. Old Navy has lined pants & jeans, but they are too big at the waist for my kid (the H&M leggings are tighter fitting so work better).
Anon says
i posted on Friday asking for sock recs and a few people mentioned the hanes ones sold at target. all i see are some with white, pink and purple – do they not come in a pack of only white socks?
EB0220 says
Sadly not that I have found.
Anonymous says
Did you check the boys’s section?
OP says
yup, there they have blue and white. why can’t they just sell white so i don’t have to match socks!
rosie says
And why are some of then white with purple or pink toe/heel and some of them the exact same but with lines around the ankle, too? FWIW, I’ve decided that those “match” each other.
EB0220 says
I tried to talk my kid into harlequin socks, aka non-matching…to no avail. She’s old enough to match her own socks I think!
Daycare > Pre School says
Confession time: I have no idea when “school” is supposed to begin and how on earth working families pull it off.
DD is 18 months old with a late April birthday. We are in suburban Boston. Preschool starts at …. 3 years? So I should start figuring out where she’d go to preschool for the….fall of 2021? Presumably these are not 9-5 pre schools, so then what do you do if she’s in school only from 9-11:30 3 mornings a week? Is that when nannies are more essential?
She’s currently in a nationally flagged daycare center that offers preschool but, and for reasons I won’t get in to here, there is no chance we’re sending her there for any “real school” – great daycare, bad actual school is the consistent feedback on this place. It was our #2 daycare choice. #1 was a Goddard School with what I think is a full-day preschool/daycare situation that obviously works well for working parents in need of full time care. Right now DD goes to daycare from 7:30-5:30 5x/week. Help! So lost!
anne-on says
FWIW, this is when we decided on nanny vs. au pair. There was no aftercare for pre-k/k in our district and we couldn’t magically stop working at 3pm. We decided on an au pair. The options among working parents we knew seemed to be au pair, rotating cast of sitters (college aged who they were comfortable with driving) grandparents who weren’t healthy enough to be full time caretakers but who could do school pick up/snack/homework supervision, or part time nanny/housekeeper.
Good luck – it is REALLY hard and this doesn’t even take school holidays and summer breaks into account. Sigh.
Pogo says
Have you been able to successfully find au pairs who can drive? That’s always my concern w/ that setup. I have a friend whose au pair claimed to be able to drive on her application/interview but was not at all comfortable driving in our area. Eventually they just paid for her to have driving lessons, but it sounded stressful.
So Anon says
Our swedish au pair was an amazing driver! I heavily screened for driving is snow and ice because it is a constant in our lives for 6-7 months of the year. When I searched, I was looking for someone who had experience with the conditions and types of roads we drive.
Pogo says
ooo, good call on Swedish for the driving aspect and hardiness to the weather!
Anon says
Daycare and “school” are synonymous until K for most people I know, including us. If you’re not comfortable with your current daycare for preschool, you could find a different one, but it’s not necessary to get a nanny just so you can do part-time preschool. In my area, part-time preschool is entirely the realm of SAHMs whose children were at home with them until age 2-3. And really, a 3 year old does not need any kind of formal academic curriculum. They need to be engaging in open-ended play and learning how to interact with other kids with attentive and loving adults in the room. Any good daycare will provide that – if you say your daycare is “great” I’m sure it will be fine for an older kid.
HSAL says
Yes to all this. I find it hard to imagine a great daycare not doing a decent job at the preschool part of it. Counting, letters, writing names. Or is the issue with the staff at the 3+ ages? Wait until early 2021 and if you’re still not happy, I’d look for a new daycare/preschool. None of the part-time preschool business. Sounds exhausting. I’m almost glad my kid has an October birthday so we have an extra year before we have to deal with school logistics.
Anon says
Most of our friends just stay in daycares that switch to preschool programming at whatever age. So I think based on what you’re saying, you’re looking for a new daycare around age 3 or so. My kiddo started part-time preschool at 2 to help with some socialization and language delays but most kids who are not in daycare around here start at 3. She goes 2x a week from 9-12 – most of the kids in her class have stay at home or part-time parents (we’re in SAHD camp), a small handful have nannies or other caregivers (grandparents, etc.) that pick up the kids. But for two-parent working households, the norm seems to be daycare that offers preschool programming. Trust your gut on this, but we’re big advocates of play-based preschool, so my opinion on how much “real school” is needed for preschool may differ from yours.
Anonymous says
Hello! I’m in a Boston suburb as well. My oldest is in elementary now, but I have three kiddos and we’ve gone through this rodeo before. Around here, there are a few choices:
1. 0-5 daycare center that offers preschool program
a. the ones with really strong programs for infants that sort of offer preschool because they don’t want to lose siblings and
b. the ones with a real preschool “curriculum”
What you want to look for to make sure you have B and not A is that there is structure to the day, like in a classroom type setting. Some daycares just do daycare + learning but they still are calling their teachers Emily and Jane and they are all dropped off at different times and the mix of kids depends on the day and hour. The ones we saw that got it right did “preschool” in a classroom that was different from toddler- it had tables and cubbies etc.
2. The preschool/daycare that is 15 months or 2.9-5 — around here these are super popular as long as you don’t also need infant care. These are structured like 1b above, but have a classroom for toddlers, too. They are like 3 below, but have extended days that are essentially just more playtime.
3. “Traditional” preschool- mornings only, or part time program. Where we are, many families have 2+ kids, so they have a nanny/au pair and send the preschooler to one of these, and the other kids are with the nanny and/or in elementary school.
My own kids went to a traditional daycare until 2.9 or 3 and then moved over to a #3 preschool. They went to a T/W/TH 9-1 program, but we added via the extended day program so they went T/W/Th 9-3. I had a part time nanny pick them up at 3 and stay until 5:30. I did not work Mondays and the nanny did Fridays 9-5. My husband did dropoff. Other families at the school had a nanny, dual working parents with flexible schedules, or families where one parent was semi SAH/ part time and so only needed the 9-3 coverage.
Now that 2/3 of my kids are in elementary, I can see that options 2 and 3 really did the best job of prepping the kids for kindergarten. There are a bunch of 1as and 1bs in my town, and one of the 1Bs is awesome. The others are just fine, but there is a clear difference. and it’s mainly in behavior, not academics– you can tell who came from a free-for-all daycare type place by how they act to teachers and peers.
Anon says
So I might be a bit sensitive about this because I think my kids’ (awesome, imo) daycare/preschool is more like what you’ve described as 1A (they call teachers by first names and no set drop-off and pick-up times), but can you explain why this is bad? They’re learning basics like letters and numbers, plus many more interesting things (solar system, life cycle of insects, etc.). I guess I just do not understand the upside to a formal curriculum or so much school-like structure for children under 5. They have the rest of their life to go to school. I understand there are kindergarten readiness standards in most states, but it’s totally possible for a more play-based daycare/preschool to meet those standards.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, +1 to this…again, I don’t necessarily think a more formal structure is a bad thing, but neither should we automatically assume it’s better. My intuition is that some kids do well with a more “school-like” structure and some do better with a more free-form, play-based approach to learning letters/numbers/social skills. My kid definitely thrives on the latter.
avocado says
Another +1. My child went to an amazing play-based day care that would fall into category 1a of the classification scheme above. The only class that operated like “school” and did worksheets was Pre-K, and we pulled her from the center that year to avoid it because it seemed so awful and sent her straight to K instead. She learned to read, write, and do arithmetic at home with no special effort beyond what most involved parents are already doing. Day care was for socialization, play, field trips, and messy crafts and science projects.
Anonymous says
Sorry to jump back in so late- I posted above. So my kids went to “play based” preschool. It was part time (my #3). There were no worksheets etc.
It hard to explain but I’ll try. The daycare my kids went to was a free for all. It was great for toddlers. We (and many other parents) moved our kids to a different preschool because the preschool at daycare felt just like daycare with older kids.
The preschool we moved them to (as well as other area preschools-some of which are full time) does things like have organized activities throughout the day, makes kids wait in line, has different programming (music, sports, art), has “the big hall” where they do motor stuff and play inside on cold days. They call their teachers Mrs and Mr ABC, they bring backpacks, they all arrive and check in and have jobs. They are play based but plug into our school district’s curriculum so when they do things like learn letters, it’s using the same program as kindergarten (I forget what it’s called but involves Mat Man).
Daycare was not like that At.All.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m also in a Boston suburb and my kids (3.5 and 1) go to one place – a daycare with slots for infants, toddlers, preschool and pre-k, up until they are ready for K. Most of my coworkers have/had the same situation for their kids. I just want to say that convenience for parents of having one drop-off/pick-up at a place where they provide food, fun and some learning is really important too! I’m sure they will be fine academically but honestly I’m not really looking for a rigorously academic program for a 3 year old. I want my kids to mostly play, learn to socialize with others and learn a few “school” now and then, but this rigid academic structure with a difficult schedule for two working parents is just not ideal.
OP, I’d probably look for a daycare that offers a preschool program that you’re comfortable with and save yourself a few years of having to do a nanny/au pair/babysitter/whatever before you have to! If you’re in Metrowest, I can give a few suggestions…
Anonymous says
I know it’s a bit early, but does anyone have recommendations/tips/advice about how to handle holiday gifts from grandparents? DH and I just had a baby in April, so we are approaching the first holiday season. We celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas, and want to keep the amount of “stuff” that our child gets to a minimum. Our child is the first grandkid on either side, so there is lots of focus and happy gifting of clothes and toys. We are very appreciative of all of the random gifts we’ve received already, because they have been very practical – pjs in the next size up, a few very practical toys like a rattle, and books. But DH and I want to sort of set some ground rules so that our child doesn’t end up with a lot of stuff (and so that we don’t end up with a lot of stuff in our house), mostly because I don’t think our kid needs it, but also so that the grandparents aren’t in competition with one another. Generally, I am very, very, very lucky that my parents and in laws get along (they occasionally golf or have met up for lunch/drinks (we all live in the same metro area)), but I can potentially see gift giving getting out of hand. While I know that if my mom or MIL shows up with 20 gifts for the baby, there’s not really anything can do about that, but both MIL and my mom have hinted that they are open to a discussion about gifts. In an ideal world, they’d each get him maybe one toy and maybe a book, and if they wanted to give more than than, they could take what they would spend and put it in the 529 we have set up.
So, what do you all do? What has been successful or not successful? How have you communicated any ground rules to grandparents? TIA!!
Anon says
You can communicate your preferences, but you can’t dictate what they do. My parents are wealthy and spend a lot on my child (their only grandchild) every holiday. I’d definitely rather have that money in a 529 but they enjoy giving physical stuff. It is what it is.
Anon says
This x 100. Only grandkid, wealthy grandparents on both sides, and a houseful of toys. We do our best to redirect toward one “bigger” gift (tricycle, outdoor picnic table, push car, winter coat, dollhouse, etc.), but e.g., last month halloween PJs, thanksgiving crafts, a bunch of clothes for summer, a bike helmet, and a random toy all showed up unsolicited for our 2YO.
Anonymous says
This is like us. My mom has zero interest in contributing to education savings. She wants an excuse to fulfill her shopping addiction. New halloween shirts, leggings, socks and pyjamas every year plus Thanksgiving and Halloween coloring books, plus a grocery bag full of candy, playdoh, and small toys when we ‘trick or treated’ at their house. She also orders a full set of Christmas clothes for each kid every year and an outfit for their holiday pagent. But if I dare suggest that some of it be redirected to savings, ‘she’s retired and can’t contribute on a fixed income’. Terrified of my dad passing first as she will go full hoarder/shopoholic.
Anon says
I haven’t verified this yet, but – if you’re encouraging use of 529 plans, you might want to have grandparents set up their own. Someone just told me that my parents should get their own for our infant rather than giving us the cash for the plan I established. It has to do with what’s considered available for FASFA?
Mrs. Jones says
Maybe you could suggest this guideline: something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read.
I think I read about this on here and I follow it for our kid’s birthday and Xmas.
Anonymouse says
We’re on our second holiday season, and have a couple of ideas that seem to be working:
– Think of what appeals to them and works for you – we have one grandparent get all the “fancy” outfits b/c she loves shopping for them and is thrilled to get photos. That means I only have to worry about everyday daycare clothes. Another grandparent gets all the outerwear b/c they get a kick out of shopping for it
– Find a few higher priced, ideally long lasting gift ideas. We’ve gotten a learning tower, and some lovely wooden toys.
-Experiences! If you all live nearby, memberships that allow grandparents to come
AwayEmily says
I also endorse the one higher-priced item. “Big-ticket” items we have asked for and gotten from my in-laws or parents include a bean bag, a learning tower, a play kitchen, a scooter, and a museum membership. When I pass along the recommendation, I say something like “This would be so special for us for XYZ reasons” so they feel like it’s something we really do want. The holidays/birthdays when I haven’t asked for one “big” thing have been non-ideal — lots of random toys that we neither want nor need (my MIL in particular seems incapable of reading Amazon reviews and gets so much crap from there).
Anonymous says
I’ve told my MIL she can buy as many books for our littles as her heart desires. She understands that we aren’t big Stuff people.
Anon says
I’m in your same mindset of not wanting a lot of stuff but we don’t say anything because that would cause so much fighting between us and my in laws that I don’t have the energy to deal with.
Therefore, what I do is provide an Amazon wish list of things that I would be okay with having and that my daughter wants. I also put away toys until she gets tired of her current ones. My daughter’s birthday is in October so she doesn’t really get any toys in the spring or summer. That’s why it’s nice to bring out another toy at that point to change it up a bit.
The nice thing about my daughter being spoiled by the relatives is that we don’t feel the need to spoil her our ourselves. We get her 4 presents for Christmas: something she wants, something she needs, something she wears, and something to read. Sometimes the need and wear are the same.
Anon says
+1 to your first paragraph. My plane-ride-away MIL has very limited resources but she is both in denial of that fact and loves buying things for her one and only granddaughter so much that no amount of “expectation setting” will do anyone any good. We say thank you, we are gracious and we donate.
Anonymous says
Do your kids not object to the donating? My kids would throw a fit if their toys disappeared.
Emily S. says
Not Anon, but I also donate gifted toys and clothes that either are duplicative, super annoying, get played with once, are not kids’ style, etc. I sneak it out. When they get older, I think we can have a conversation about paring down and charity, etc., but at 2 and 4, they don’t quite grasp that. So, while we’re playing I casually ask if they still are interested in this toy, and if they say no, then I put in a designated donation tub in my closet. If they say yes, I put it aside and see how much they play with it over the next few weeks. If they play with it even once, it stays, but if not, it gets donated. I usually make the donation on a work from home day or make sure the goods are in opaque containers so they can’t see the toys dropped off. I do worry about the sneaky aspect, and I know one day they will have a hissy fit, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Anonymous says
Thanks – it’s definitely the age thing working against me at this point. They are 5 and 7 and remember everything they’ve been given so I get ‘where’s my batman vehicle that grandma gave me for easter?’ even though it’s been hiding in the donation box for a month.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We do an Amazon wishlist as well and luckily both sets of grandparents have seemed to have followed it pretty well. I also direct them to our 529s and honestly, I’d rather they just donate to that because it’s hard to come up with more “stuff” for two kids for birthdays and holidays (I know we are privileged to have everything we need and then some). But I also know that they like to see the kids open gifts so we put in a few big ticket items that we were going to get anyway (bike, scooter, helmet), along with seasonal clothes like snowgear or summer clothes in the next size up.
Anonymous says
Our strategy is to make a big huge deal out of how much we or the kid loved the gifts they give that are most acceptable. This strategy has successfully convinced one set of grandparents to give experience gifts every time.
Anonymous says
‘We don’t want to overwhelm kid so we’d prefer if you gave just one toy at the holidays. Clothes and books are always welcome and that leaves lots of options for toys for future birthdays and Christmases.’
My mom isn’t great about not buying all the things and wouldn’t take it well if I donated stuff so I have a toy rotation. Minimum stuff in the family room/playroom space and other stuff in the basement storage area that gets ‘rotated’ rarely.
So Anon says
If they have indicated an openness to having the conversation, then I would absolutely engage with them. If there is anything specific you may need in the next year, offer that as a suggestion (a tricycle, play kitchen, etc.) I would rather give suggestions than end up with a random piece of large furniture (cue the pink and purple plastic table set that my in-laws gave one year). Can you ask for experience gifts? A family membership to the local zoo or aquarium, and a stuffy if they want to give something tangible? If your 529 plan offers coupon-like things, I have no shame in handing those to the grandparents.
SC says
For us, the best way to handle a single enthusiastic gift giver has been asking for a big-ticket item and/or an experience.
We also have a LOT of extended family who each give one relatively small gift ($15-40), so we deal with a large volume of gifts every Christmas and birthday. I’m not in a position to change the gift-giving dynamics there (and, thank goodness, we’ve evolved to only buying for the kids), so it is what it is. If someone asks what Kiddo wants, I send them links to specific items on Amazon. In that past, I’ve put at least some toys in my closet and brought them out a few months later, and Kiddo never noticed. Now that he’s 4 and has an amazing memory, I’m not sure I’ll get away with that.
Also, non-toy items are perfect if relatives are open to buying those. Experience gifts are an obvious choice. In addition, over the years, my son has received (and both of us have appreciated) themed bedding, a fun night light, several blankets, an umbrella, a backpack, a mini suitcase, and real measuring cups and measuring spoons and oven mitts. If you have any big trips coming up (especially if you travel with your parents or in-laws), ask for any specific clothes or gear you need for that trip. Clothes, books, and art supplies are always welcome in my house, but YMMV.
Irish Midori says
Lots of good advice/ideas here. I also keep an Amazon wish list for each kid that I populate throughout the year as interests and wishes come up. Things like themed bedding and room decor–necessities that could be individualized–that I might buy at random times are great for this–if they can wait till the next gift-giving occasion, they just go on the list. Amazon lets you add “ideas” and items from other websites, so I can add tickets and a link to a local theater, the kids’ current clothing sizes, etc. to the list. This is also really helpful since our relatives are not local. It’s so hard to keep up with what each kid is into when you don’t see them that often.
Anon says
our grandparents aren’t local, but first and only grandchildren on both sides (we have 17 month old twins) and both sets, particularly my MIL have been very generous. i too would prefer they just give to a 529, but that does not seem to satisfy the urge. in your case, particularly as your child gets older i would consider experience gifts. when i was little and lived in the same area as my grandparents, one set took me to ‘lollipop orchestra’ once a month, or to see a magic show, etc. or something like a membership to the zoo. right now my kids are young and so they don’t understand what is coming from whom, so for now i am trying not to regulate too much, but my MIL is always sending gifts or hitting up the local toy store when she visits. I usually take 1 gift out for them to play with right then and then save the others for rainy days or extremely fussy days. i have literally never purchased a toy or a book for my child. my MIL loves to shop and basically buys all my kids clothes. a few things to think about:
– does one set of parents like buying something in particular? like is one into clothes and the other toys, etc.? if you share their taste, tell them to buy clothes and pjs because kids grow like weeds.
– big ticket items
– some families i’ve seen have success with the: something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. if you have the type of parents who like putting thought into the gifts, etc. this could actually make it fun for them.
Emily S. says
If they are willing to give an experience but also want to give a tangible gift to open, you can suggest a pairing like, pay for 3 months of gymnastics lessons and buy a leotard for child to unwrap, tickets to the lollipop symphony outing and a fancy outfit to wear to it, a zoo membership and books or stuffed animals about what we might see there. I’m right there with you; both grandparents are gifty. My parents are better about giving experiences (or cash for me to fund extracurricular activities) but still want to shop and watch kids unwrap — and I get that. I think I read here that the gift giving is about them and their relationship with the grandchild, so give yourself permission to let the grandparents set the tone and as much as you can, grin and bear it. Knowing that grandparents won’t always be around to heap what I often see as junk on my kids helps me stay calm in the gifting frenzy. And, as someone else said, then we don’t give our kids much, only 2-3 presents. Sometimes that upsets me, because I want to spoil them, too, but it can be a relief to not buy so much.
Anonymous says
I think you’re inventing a problem and looking some kind loving gift horses straight in the mouth. I’d do a gentle “he’s got plenty of x, y would be nice, not too much please” and leave it alone. It’s so entitled to me to be telling grandparents to put money in his savings account. Sounds like you have no reason to suspect anyone will be competitive or show up with 29 gifts. Let it go. See how it works out.
Anon says
+1. I was raised that if someone wants to give you a gift you can’t tell them to buy you something else instead. That doesn’t mean you have to accept hundreds of unwanted plastic toys – you can tell people you don’t have space for such and such, you can express concerns about your child getting spoiled (especially with an older child), but ultimately if you want to decline what they want to give, you have to accept that they may not give anything. I literally cannot imagine telling anyone, even my parents, “give me money instead of all this useless crap.”
I would also point out that if the parents are saving for the child’s college (which I realize is not universally true, but I think a lot of us here are), a 529 contribution is really a gift to the parents, not the child. My kid is going to college at no cost to her no matter what. Grandparents putting money in her 529 means husband and I can contribute a bit less that month and get some extra cash for ourselves. It’s in no way a gift to her.
Anonymous says
That’s a pretty specific to you situation though. We have three kids and they can absolutely get their tutition paid for by us if they live at home, but there is no way we can swing tutition plus room at anything other than the local state uni. It really would be a gift to them if they can go to whatever school they choose, or do a foreign exchange year or whatever. Our financial situation is particular tricky because we have surprise (no fertility treatment or family history) twins so we will have to pay tutition for all three at the same time.
Anon says
Well I would argue that your situation with surprise twins is also pretty specific to you. Admittedly, I’m privileged and most of my friends are too (but so are most people here, I think) but literally all my friends are saving to pay for private college for all their children. I’m not saying every upper middle class family does this, but I don’t think it’s at all uncommon among families of a certain income bracket, so I understand why someone might be reluctant to give to a child’s 529. I have contributed to childrens’ 529s but definitely think of it as more of a gift to the parents than the child.
Bean74 says
I wouldn’t straight-up tell someone to give to a 529, but last year when my parents and my in-laws asked what to get our toddler, we suggested gifts to his 529. My mom, who loves shopping and giving, did it and then gave him a football jersey and a hoodie from our alma mater. My mother-in-law gave the majority of the toddler’s gift budget and got him one large toy and a couple of books. The reasoning for it was that at this age, the money spent on gifts that he may or may not care about would be better put toward his college savings.
Had they not asked, we would have accepted whatever they wanted to give graciously and moved on. Grandparents be grandparents, right?
My husband and his siblings attended college through savings that their grandparents had set up for each of them. Graduating without any student loan debt was an incredible gift to him and one that he has not taken for granted. For him, that has meant way more than any material gift they may have given him.
Io says
We’re also a Christmas /Hanukkah family and established that Hanukkah was a book only holiday (8 picture books is still a LOT). But it’s better than it could be.
Kiddo also has a November birthday, so every year I purge stuff. Now that she’s turning four I will probably need more buy-in from her, but it’s time for a lot of things to go.
Anonymous says
Accidentally posted this to the main site…
Has anyone used the Bellefit postpartum binder or another postpartum binder? How did it go/how did you use it and would you recommend it? I searched the archives and it looks like Kat wrote about PP corsets years ago and recommended the Bellefit. It would be great to hear others’ recent experiences. Specifically, I want to know if the Bellefit is truly worth the high cost when AMZ carries inexpensive Chinese corsets (granted, they look super bulky compared to the Bellefit).
I’m 28 weeks with my second and everything feels looser this time. Would love to have some sort of shape again at some point lol.
Emily S. says
I didn’t use a binder but “enjoyed” the Upspring c-panties. I used them after second baby and a later surgery and appreciated the compression and smoothing.
shortperson says
i used bellefit and i think it helped. but i didnt have a control group. i ended up needing to buy s, m and l for two pregancies so it was an investment
anon says
I used Bellefit after my first, so no control group, but I did like that they helped everything feel more “squished” back into place. Like the poster above I had to buy two sizes (one I wore probably 1-5 or so weeks postpartum and a smaller size that I wore on and off for a few weeks after). I am 20 weeks with #2 and plan to use again this time. I will say they feel incredibly well constructed and the hardware closures esp are seemingly indestructible. I would not trust the same from a cheap Amz copy.
I do recommend against the zipper (which was counterintuitive for me), which felt uncomfortable when bending. Hook and eye closures were better.
shortperson says
def agreed re zipper.
DLC says
For those who have (or who had) a toddler and a newborn, what does bedtime look like when you are solo parenting? We have a 2.5 year old and a six week old (also a 7 year old, but she pretty much puts herself to bed). I work a lot of evenings and we are having a hard time settling into a routine for my husband and the kids the nights that I work. The toddler ideally goes to bed between 7:45-8:30. The six week old isn’t on a schedule yet, and we’re not sure if we should aim for her to go down before or after the does his pj/ brush teeth/ books/ cuddle routine?
Ifiknew says
I have a 2.5 year old and 5month old. At 6 weeks, there was no pattern. I tried to put baby in Carrier and go through my bedtime routine with toddler. She understood that I couldn’t lie down to read etc pretty fast and seemed content as long as baby was sleeping. Solo parenting is such a challenge and every day, I’d think how will I do bedtime bit I really tried to get baby sleeping in the 30 min bedtime routine or wore in Carrier. I’d put baby in baby Bjorn bouncer and bounce with feet while I fed toddler dinner too. Best gadget ever.
AwayEmily says
We had a very similar age spacing and we put the baby down before the toddler. I would bring the toddler into the nursery and let her watch 15 minutes of Daniel Tiger on the phone while I nursed the baby pre-bed, then do the toddler’s bedtime routine after the baby was down. I think it helped the toddler to have that one-on-one time. And since you have the 7-year-old, you could probably get her to keep an eye on the toddler during the feeding session instead of doing the nursery thing.
Anonymous says
This is really hard. I have three kids under 7 and my husband and I hardly ever to bedtime alone. I did it a few times when the youngest was an infant, and maybe I just didn’t figure out the trick, but it usually involved TV for the older kids. If you regularly have to work in the evenings, could you employ a mother’s helper for a couple hours? (I ultimately ended up getting an au pair, in part because of this.)
CCLA says
I did this a lot in the early days with a baby and a just turned 2-yo. For awhile (maybe 8 weeks?) I would put older DD down first, leaving little DD in a baby container in older DD’s room, so that she could snooze or cry or whatever while I got older DD down. Then onto baby’s bedtime. That was awful, but seemed unavoidable with their respective bedtimes. It got remarkably easier when baby was old enough to go to bed before older DD (a combination of realizing older DD was frequently happily awake in bed after baby went down, and baby getting older and naturally going to bed earlier). At that time, we switched to older DD playing or “reading” etc in our room, where baby slept, while I got baby down, or sometimes allowing older DD to hang in her room alone, which was nextdoor and babyproofed, then on to older DD bedtime. That was much easier, because older DD could more easily wait until her 1:1 time vs. trying to let the baby wait which really meant mostly interrupting or crying through toddler bedtime. So…I vote aim to get baby down first.
Spirograph says
I’ve blocked those years from my memory, but I believe I would try to put the baby down to sleep first. This probably meant plopping the toddler in front of Daniel Tiger or Mister Rogers for one episode, since I don’t think any of them reliably played quietly and alone at that age. If that didn’t work, it was either baby bjorn/ergo to keep the baby from screaming while I tended to toddler, or let the baby scream in the crib for a few minutes while dressing toddler. I could supervise teeth-brushing and bathtime while holding the baby (only if bath is strictly necessary, definitely skip if you can), and I could hold baby while reading bedtime stories and singing songs to toddler. Then I’d put the toddler to bed and go back to nursing/rocking/trying everything to get the baby to sleep.
It gets easier though! I have three and the oldest is 6, and now I can do bedtime for all of them in one fell swoop, since they mostly like the same stories and they all share a room.
DLC says
Thanks, all! This is helpful. We might have to invest in a Bjorn bouncer! We have no baby swing/ bouncer right now- the result of having third surprise baby after giving away all our baby gear. Also might need to investigate the mother’s helper for when I’m in my busy season of working 6 nights a week (as opposed to only two nights a week now). The 1:1 time with the toddler seems to be key.
PB kids shopping advice says
What are the typical pottery barn coupons? I want to buy new sheets for my 4 year old who is making the switch from toddler bed to twin. Current promotion is 20% + free shipping. Do I wait for 30% + free shipping? Not sure I want to wait till black friday week, but maybe that makes sense? Opinions, anyone?
Emily S. says
20% seems as good as I’ve ever gotten. I don’t know the rhyme or reason, but they frequently have sales when I decide to browse — I suspect they use cookies and throw up a sales banner when I click over. If you are a Key rewards member you can also add accumulated rewards dollars on top of the sale. Check the clearance, too; I recently found a flannel twin sheet set for under $30.
Anonymous says
They are also having their weird “Premier Day” event right now, so check to see if they are on sale if you haven’t already.
Flora says
Anyone ever have really late postpartum hair loss? My baby is 20 months and I just started losing hair at a faster rate than normal (though still not the “handfuls” horror stories I’ve heard from friends) in the last couple weeks. Can it really take that long or are my hormones screwed up for some other reason (probably)? I am 100% not pregnant, have had a normal cycle since 5 months postpartum, and am still nursing once or twice a day.
Anonymous says
Still nursing resulted in delayed post-partum hairloss for me. I nursed to 16 months and my hair loss was in the 12-24 months postpartum range. Not a drastic amount overnight. Multivitamin + biotin seemed to help a bit but still breaks more easily than it used to. My fav picture is still one of me at 12 months postpartum before the hairloss started.
Anon says
18 month old and I’m losing it again at my scalp on the sides. I thought I was going crazy but the new growth is so blatant right now that I can say with certainty the falling out picked up again. I’m not pregnant (TTC with fertility treatments so, def not pregnant right now). I had a big loss right after I stopped BF-ing 13 months ago but that subsided. I’m reliving it right now… very strange!
EB0220 says
Standard plug for thyroid check. My hair fell out when I was hyperthyroid.
lsw says
I am embarrassed to even ask this question, but my perusal on the Car Seat Lady blog hasn’t totally answered it. My very tall 3 year old is still rear-facing but I feel like he is barely fitting into the carseat. He’s still below the 40 lb weight limit for rear-facing. Are we just failing at adjusting the carseat for a bigger toddler? My husband and I both have the same carseat and are both struggling with fitting him into it height-wise. Turning it front-facing obviously doesn’t address the fitting issue. Do we …. buy a different car seat? What are we missing for adjusting to make him fit better? The weight limit is apparently 65 pounds front-facing so obviously we should able to fit him into this thing. I feel like an idiot.
Anon says
What’s the fit issue? His legs are scrunched? That’s probably ok unless he’s really complaining, but it’s something front-facing would solve because then his legs can dangle in the air. Is his head reaching above the top of the seat? Unless you can extend the headrest, you may have to buy a new seat or turn it forward, since most carseats require the head to be below the top of the shell for rear-facing.
lsw says
It’s something with the straps and how he sits – it’s really hard to get the clip (the one that is under his bum) far enough in front of his crotch to snap into the top straps without pulling them way out, and then it is all pinching his legs. I also didn’t realize that about the headrest so I will be sure to check that tonight when I pick him up.
rosie says
The carseat usually has a weight limit for RF and a height limit that is in terms of distance between the top of the car seat and the child’s head, so check your manual to see if there is another thing you should be looking at. And this is probably obvious, so apologies but can the bottom strap be moved at all so that it’s further forward? I think our seat has 2 or 3 positions it can be in. Or maybe he is slouching because he is really too tall to RF — if he has a longer torso, he might just not be able to RF in that seat.
Spiprograph says
Have you taken the cover off the car seat and checked to see where there is a different slot to thread the crotch strap through? A couple of my carseats are adjustable in this way.
lsw says
I’m going to bring it inside tonight and inspect my adjustment options. I never think to do it except when I’m struggling to strap him in after daycare and he’s fighting it.
Irish Midori says
What is your philosophy on “making” a child apologize? I see a lot about getting them to apologize to other kids, mostly focused on very young children. But what about an older child (pre-pre-teen) apologizing (by letter or in person) to a teacher or other authority figure for disrespect or noncompliance?
Anonymous says
I don’t. School handles discipline how they want. I don’t make my kid apologize to authority figures. Frankly, sometimes I think my kid was correct, and I explain that grownups get it wrong, rules can be bad, and that they’ll still face consequences for breaking them. But I don’t force insincere apologies out of them.
Anonymous says
My child is 4. I’ll ask her to apologize if she physically “hurt” someone by accident. For example if she accidentally steps on my foot or something. I don’t push it. And I don’t think she is old enough to grasp apologizing for more intentional type things (saying something hurtful). I’ll explain to her that it was hurtful and made me feel bad or whatever. But I just don’t think she’s old enough to actually feel sorry too often yet, honestly. And I am 100% over apologizing for every little thing culture. Daycare is more apology focused, and that is fine.