How long did you plan to breastfeed, if you planned to at all? How long did you actually breastfeed — and what factors influenced your decision to stop?
The AAP has new recommendations out for breastfeeding, as you may have heard. They’re now recommending that women breastfeed for up to two years. Here are their words from the press release:
There are continued benefits from breastfeeding beyond 1 year, and up to 2 years especially in the mother. Long-term breastfeeding is associated with protections against diabetes, high blood pressure, and cancers of the breast and ovaries.
We’ve talked about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding and combination feeding before, but it’s been a while. If you’d like further reading on the new recommendations, here’s Emily Oster‘s and Jessica Grose‘s thoughts on it; the first points out bad data involved in the decision-making, while Grose talks about the horrendous timing of the statement, coming after Dobbs, amidst a formula shortage, and so on.
How do you feel about the new recommendations? Have they changed your plans at all, particularly if you’re planning for a second (or third, or fourth) child?
(Friendly reminder that nursing, combination feeding, and formula are all good options — a fed baby is a happy baby!)
For my $.02… I did not have an easy time breastfeeding with either kid. Selfishly, the main reason I fought to do it for both kids was because I’d read it helped with postpartum weight loss, but there are moments I remember, even years later, of looking down, a son at my breast, and the world felt calm and perfect. Either way, with both kids, there was absolutely no way we could have made it to two years.
{related: the best bras for nursing and pumping}
For my older son, J, as I think I’ve written about before, in the early days I had to pump every two hours around the clock, to try to grow my supply if I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. With my second son, H, I was more open to a bit of formula in the beginning (but not via bottle because I worried about nipple confusion, although a lot of good sources have wondered now whether nipple confusion is a myth).
{related: breastfeeding vs. formula feeding}
With J, I had planned to do everything by the breastfeeding books — exclusively breastfeed him for six months (or whatever was recommended at the time), and continue nursing up to a year. And we did that — I remember feeling like it was weird to stop on his first birthday, but we were both so, so ready for it.
{related: a reader’s review of the Spectra pump}
With H, my younger son, I exclusively breastfed him for three months, and then started dropping sessions to accommodate sleep or workflow. He was not happy about it at first (well, he really didn’t like being handed to someone else at all — I still remember his rage cry session after I handed him to his first babysitter). But as time went on he lost interest in the breast, and for the last three to six months or so I remember him barely nursing at all, distracted by almost anything else in the room.
Sometime in that time period I pumped and got so little milk I knew it was almost over. We nursed for the last time a bit after his first birthday (maybe around 15 months), but I remember feeling like I had really stretched it out way past the appropriate time. (We moved to a new place around then and I wanted to be able to nurse him once or twice in our new home in case the change was hard for him. I was glad I had held on, but I think we only nursed once in the new place.)
{related: how to feel like yourself after having a baby}
If the new recommendations had been around when I was nursing my boys, I wonder if I could have stretched them both to the two-year mark, if only (again, selfishly) for the health benefits for the mother (although I’d be looking closely at Oster’s thoughts on the data there).
Readers, how about you — how long did you plan to breastfeed? How long did you actually breastfeed?
{related: a reader’s review of the Sonata pump}
Stock photo via Stencil.
MCR says
What is up with this pic? Does that mom *want* to get peed on??
Anonymous says
OMG hahaha yes.
anonn says
I planned to try and make it a year, ended up nursing kid 1 for 25 months, kid 2 we’re going strong at 18 months. This success is because of my anatomy (small chest, no supply issues, high pain tolerance) 12 weeks paid leave, private office to pump whenever, my period didn’t come back till about 22 months, still hasn’t with kid 2, and for me bf really helps with pp weight loss. Also, with kid 2 I saw a private lactation consultant (covered by ACA 100%) who helped diagnose ties and avoid the need to supplement. If I had to exclusively pump I’d have made it maybe 6 months. All of the benefits to mom and baby are perks, but the biggest reason I keep going is because it’s easy for me, makes the baby happy, and it’s keeping aunt flo away. Also this kid has been sick constantly for 6 months, I think the antibody thing is a myth.
Anon says
I wanted to breastfeed, but I couldn’t get it to work for any of my three kids. I exclusively pumped and breastfeed for 6 months with each of them and then switched them to formula. I felt guilty stopping with the exclusive breast milk diet, but pumping was really uncomfortable for me and I had several rounds of mastitis.
Anon says
Planned – 1 year
Actual – 13.5 months
Stopped bc needed 3 cycles and a mammogram before I could be ready for our next baby (IVF frozen transfer)
My supply took a hit when my period came back at 9 months, but I had a ton of frozen milk in the freezer so never needed to supplement with formula (and she continued getting frozen milk until 18 months). We also started cow’s milk at 12 months.
I work from home full time so no office pumping logistics. We have a full time nanny.
Anon says
Planned – as long as possible or 2 years, whichever came first
Actual – kiddo was pretty clearly done a little before 18 months so I did “don’t offer don’t refuse” and she weaned pretty much immediately. Glad it was gentle for her, but it was a bit sad for me because I didn’t realize our last nursing session was the last one.
I supplemented with formula in the newborn period and only pumped at work briefly (from about 4-6 months) then switched to workday formula, so I was never an EBF-er but I liked the idea of extended breastfeeding for comfort and antibodies.
Anon says
planned – 1 year
actual – was never able to exclusively bfeed my twins. had to combo feed from the beginning, which included bfeeding, but that stopped after 4 weeks since i was triple feeding, and i then switched to pumping + formula, which i was able to do until 6 months.
in retrospect, since bfeeding did not work for me, i wish i had stopped pumping sooner and just did formula. but there is also still a part of me that wishes id had more success with bfeeding
Boston Legal Eagle says
First kid: Plan: to “follow the books” and exclusively bf for as long as I could in the first few months, supplement with formula only as needed and toward the end of the first year. Actual: Had to pump a lot in the first few weeks because he wasn’t gaining enough and I didn’t want to use formula (I was going through a lot that I couldn’t control at the time and this was one thing I could). Pumped at work until he was about 9 months, ended bfeeding at around 10-11 months.
Second kid: Plan: Try to bf if I could, but would have happily supplemented with formula right away. Ended up pumping at work until I think he was about 6-7 months, then continued to bf in the morning and night until he was a year, supplementing with formula during the day. Guess which postpartum was happier (hint, #2).
I don’t know that I would have kept bfeeding beyond a year, even with the current recommendations. I wanted my body back and that was a good enough reason to stop v. a marginal benefit to baby.
Anonymous says
Planned: 1 year.
Wanted: not at all.
Actual: Mostly BF with a little formula until 6 months. Some BF until 9 months, when baby self-weaned and life instantly became so much better.
anon says
My original plan was only until my mat leave ended (14 weeks), but then covid happened and was WFH, so my adjusted plan was “until kid starts biting.” That happened at 6 months, so I weaned then. I never EBF, though; my son was formula supplemented from day 1. Once my milk was fully in and supply was in the right place (around 2 weeks), that was limited to a formula bottle before his “big” sleep period, and it stayed there until I transitioned him to full formula at 6 months.
I loved BFing, but s*x was really uncomfortable and unappealing until I weaned and so I likely would have weaned around 6 months even if he hadn’t started chomping at that point.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Planned: At least six months for both kids
Actual: DS #1 – 12 months (was EBF for most of it and miserable); DS #2 – 9 months with LOTS of supplementing; he was full-term and tiny when he was born so I was quick to give formula because I had learned with hindsight that no, in my case, colostrum is not enough.
I enjoyed the snuggles but the mental/physical pieces were tough both times. BF made me hold on to every last oz and then some of post partum weight, and I didn’t start to feel like myself/have bandwidth to exercise until both kids were 15-16 months.
pickle says
I ended up nursing my second for over two years because COVID hit when I’d planned to stop pumping at work (the one-year mark). Very hard to wean when your child is home with you all day! I didn’t mind nursing so long given that I didn’t have to pump. I’d had a much easier time with my second than with my first, when I’d had supply issues, and enjoyed my breastfeeding relationship with both kids (even though I combination fed my first). I wouldn’t have continued nursing had it been difficult for me.
I am here to say that despite 3.5 combined years of nursing, I still got diagnosed with breast cancer less than a year after weaning my second, so breastfeeding is not a magic wand that prevents cancer. Please get mammograms, everyone!
anonn says
oh no! Do you have a family history? How old were you? What were your symptoms to get checked? I’ve got 3.5plus years in too and am 38, over here thinking I’m saving my own life (half kidding).
Lyssa says
My plan for breastfeeding was pretty similar to my plan for delivering – go with whatever seems to be working, but the how is not a big deal as long as everyone’s healthy. Since I was a litigator who was in court a lot with my first, I loosely figured on weaning before going back to work.
With no. 1, I had limited supply and had to supplement for a while, and found it fairly stressful. After about 4 weeks, I switched to just nursing every other feeding and found it so, so much more enjoyable. For me, bottle feeding felt more “bonding” because I could just relax and enjoy it. I weaned completely around 7 weeks in preparation for going back to work. This all worked pretty well, so I did basically the same with my second, even though I found nursing much easier and had switched to a more office-oriented job.
My kids are very healthy and happy, and I’m very pleased with how I approached this, particularly my decision not to pump. I would tell any would-be parent that the absolute best approach to this and almost everything else in babies is to let go of expectations and be ready to just roll with what happens.
Anonymous says
Planned: 1 year. Actual: 2.75 years. After about 18 months, it was just wake up/bedtime. I quit one or the other (can’t remember which one) around 2.5 and the other a few months later.
Spirograph says
For all 3 kids (to the best of my memory, it feels like so long ago!)
Planned: 1 year
Actual: around 1 year, give or take a month, but I stopped pumping at work around 8-9 months and supplemented with formula while basically just “comfort nursing” in the morning and at bedtime.
I was very fortunate that I had no significant issues (other than the normal occasional frustrations) with nursing, supply, pumping etc, and it also helped a lot with pp weight loss. My husband thought it was “weird” to keep nursing beyond a year. I didn’t really have strong feelings about it one way or another, I may have kept nursing longer out of pure laziness if he hadn’t been opinionated. In any case, I got pregnant again around a year postpartum after the first two kids, plus the babies got bite-y so there were several good reasons to stop.
I find the new recommendation interesting, especially the idea that a driving force was “normalizing” breastfeeding beyond 1 year since that was a factor for me. I sincerely hope they do not add to the [email protected] is best pressure, though.
anonn says
I’m similar to you, I stressed so much about weaning after a year since that’s what I thought everyone did, and my hubs was pushing it too. I thought I had to or we’d keep going till she was in Kinder. But my doc said most kids will self wean around 18-24 months, and why not try and wean after the winter if I wanted too. So I quit trying to wean her and we kept going until just after 2 and it was no big deal at all to stop. I think this 2 year rec would have saved me so much stress back then.
Anonymous says
Huh. I had no idea stopping at 1 year was considered standard. Most people I know either didn’t breastfeed/weaned when they went back to work at <6 months or went closer to 2 years. My mom did 2 years back in the 80s. I wanted to do 2 full years but baby self weaned earlier.
I would hate the idea of my DH telling me what to do with my body, whether it was pro-BFing or pro-weaning.
anon of the anons says
Planned: 1 year. Actual: Almost 4. First year around the clock, went down to morning and before bed around 1.5, dropped mornings after 3 and encouraged him to stop nursing before bed a couple of months before he turned 4. He’s 4.5+ now and asked to nurse the other day after I’d been very unavailable for weeks because of work and other obligations. We did not but it was a bit emotional to see that it’s still a way to get comfort.
Anonymous says
That’s so sweet. My 4.5 has been really big into pretending to nurse the last few weeks. No new baby or anything like that, so it’s kind of out of the blue but I don’t mind.
Pogo says
I think my plan was for about a year and then see how it went. How it went was my on-the-go baby was like, later mom, and we weaned right around 13mos.
My second was MUCH more into nursing and would for sure still be nursing now at almost 2 if I hadn’t cut him off. I think he was around 18 mos (lol second child) when I went away on a trip and didn’t pump; then when I came back and he’d ask I said, “Milkies all done, we do sippy now!” He was very upset for a few days and then got over it. I count myself lucky.
I definitely wanted my body back, sure I didn’t have to pump during the day but dealing with it every time I travelled and always having to be there for bedtime…etc. It got old.
Anonymous says
Planned: at least 6 months
Actual: 10 weeks, with lots of supplementing. Put way too much pressure on myself to EBF. Could not increase supply. Wish I had stopped much sooner.
Anon says
Planned: At least 6 months.
Actual: Less than two weeks, if that. Had preeclampsia and baby was early and in the NICU for two weeks. This was very unexpected, and I was very stressed. I had milk come in 3 days after delivery but would produce at most 5-10 mL at a time. I had several NICU nurses tell me to go home and focus on my milk more. I had multiple meetings with lactation consultants who did not believe me that I couldn’t pump milk and kept recommending supplements to take, which did nothing. During my last meeting with a lactation consultant, it was recommended to me to order drugs from Canada to help my supply. I stopped trying to pump when DS came home from the NICU because I did not want to exclusively pump. I have found out since then hypertension during pregnancy can cause issues with milk coming in, as does stress, but these were never mentioned to me as possible causes at the time by lactation consultants. They just generally told me I needed to try harder.
Aunt Jamesina says
“They just generally told me I needed to try harder”
I have SO many girlfriends who had similar experiences. I’m sorry you went through that!
Anon says
Planned: I told myself my goal was to exclusively breastfeed during my maternity leave (12 weeks) and breastfeed 6+ months but be gentle on myself and very okay with formula, knowing that I was going to have a trip planned at 9 or 10 months.
Actual: Exclusively breastfeed for 5 months, inclusively breastfeed until 9 months. Even with my extensive dive in the data and knowing before and now that formula is great- it shook me how emotional I was about breastfeeding and against formula I was. I weaned before my trip and had all the (sad) feelings about that. Until I realized how much better I felt not breastfeeding. I have motivation again, it’s amazing. I love giving my almost 1-year-old her formula bottle.
We’re trying again for #2 and I really don’t know what my plan is this time. It’s definitely not going to be 2 years- that’s a great for her, not for me.
Anon for this says
Planned: 6 months (because of the reduction in breast cancer risk that studies have shown)
Actual: baby self-weaned (lost interest) around 11 months. I ended up going longer than planned because WFH during COVID made pumping etc so much easier.
Aunt Jamesina says
I had always planned on breastfeeding, but found myself a bit daunted by it and the possible ways it can go wrong after reading so many books and people’s experiences online. I wanted to make it to a year, but gave myself permission as my due date approached that I would give it six good weeks of effort, and if it was still really hard by then, I would switch to formula. But baby J took to nursing like an absolute champ and six months in, I’ve not had a single issue in terms of supply. I feel super lucky, especially with the formula shortages. I aim to go for a year and then reevaluate.
Nursing has been great for me. Pumping can DIAF tho.
Aunt Jamesina says
… and after reading a bit about the AAP’s recommendation, it seems kind of pointless. People who are going to nurse beyond a year were probably going to do it regardless of this recommendation (heck, I want to know how many people actually make it to the year mark in the first place!). I can’t imagine it will move the needle much. And very true that this is ill-timed given the Dobbs decision and work/childcare issues going on right now. Ugh.
Anonymous says
It’s possible to wean from pumping and keep nursing! I stopped pumping at 6 months but nursed until 18 months. And I was 9-5 in an office at the time. Would be even easier if you’re wfh.
Anonymous says
Chiming in to say that I exclusively pumped for about 6 months because my slightly preemie baby couldn’t figure out latching. I stopped pumping at 6 months and switched to formula because it became too much for me to handle with work, but we nursed in the mornings/evenings (he figured it out by 6mo) until around 11 months, when my supply completely dropped.
Wendalette says
Planned: 2 years (kiddo was a preemie)
Actual: 3.5 years (mostly bedtime or comfort nursing by then)
The nurses tried formula in the NICU–they thought I wouldn’t make enough milk–but she didn’t take well to it; so I began pumping then, and as soon as she was able, I started nursing; once she figured out how to breathe and nurse, she was a great nurser.
I WFH for her first six months home, nursing exclusively since her doctors discouraged daycare due to some health complications from being 8 weeks pre-term. Then I pumped when I went back to the office. I tried formula again as a just in case, and it was still a no go. Thankfully, I did make plenty of milk and had a couple of good pumps. Nursing was for the morning before daycare, and the evenings, bedtime, and weekends.
After 2 years, she stopped daycare bottles, but I still nursed her at home, but as it didn’t complicate our lifestyle much, I didn’t care either way, and decided to try baby-led weaning. We actually talked about it, and she wasn’t ready–she said maybe when she was a big girl, like 3 years old. She did reduce her nursing to bedtime and comfort nursing on her own, then as her third birthday approached and she wasn’t quite ready to give it up completely, she asked if she could keep nursing until 4. I reminded her that she already said she would stop at 3 and that she couldn’t keep nursing forever. So she offered to nurse only on weekends. Negotiating her own weaning! I agreed, and it only took a few months before she stopped asking to nurse entirely.
Nursing was both for her health, and my pocketbook at the time. I don’t know if I would have done formula if she had taken to it and had I made more money, but it worked out. Official guidelines made no difference to me then, so the changes would make no difference now.
Rosalie says
Planned – for as long as my sons wanted.
Actual – for DC#1, two years; for DC#2, three and a half years. I worked at the office full-time and pumped for each of them for about a year. After that, nursing consisted of AM and PM sessions and maybe a little more on weekends.
I’m pretty sure that DC#2 (now 21yo) would still be nursing if I hadn’t insisted on weaning him.