This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I really like these pants from Old Navy. They hit all the marks for me: They are high rise, have an elastic waist with a side zipper, are ankle length, and come in several colors. I especially like the elastic waist and side zipper — I find when pants have a side zipper it takes away some of the bulk in the front waistline, which is the area where I’d like to have less bulk generally. I always like when there’s a notch at the bottom of ankle pants; I think it accentuates a nice part of the leg and brings attention to the shoes. Personally, when I am not spending a lot of money on pants, I like to order a size up from what I usually wear to take into account a thinner fabric, and I have found that to be true for most pants at Old Navy. These are on sale for $22 ($29.99 full price); come in regular (0–20), tall (2–20), and petite (0–20) sizes; and are machine washable. High-Rise Super Skinny Ankle Pants
A similar option at Old Navy in plus sizes is also on sale — for $20.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 12.5.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Holiday sale up to 50% off; 5x the points on beauty for a limited time
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase & extra 15% off sweaters
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase with code
- Lands’ End – Up to 70% off everything; free shipping (readers love the cashmere)
- Loft – 50% off your purchase with code (ends 12/5)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off select styles & free scarf with orders $125+ (this reader-favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Talbots – 40% off your regular-price purchase; extra 50% off all markdowns
- Zappos – 34,000+ women’s sale items! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- Crate&kids – Free shipping sitewide; up to 50% off toy + gift event; free monogramming for a limited time only (order by 12/15)
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off your purchase with code
- Pottery Barn Kids – Up to 50% off toys, furniture & gifts
- Graco – Holiday savings up to 35% off; sign up for texts for 20% off full-price item
- Walmart – Up to 25% off top baby gifts; big savings on Delta, Graco, VTech, Fisher-Price & more
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
EP-er says
We know a woman who is unmarried and mentally immature. (I’m not sure how else to describe her — she lives independently, but isn’t good about holding down jobs/making good life choices.) She got pregnant and after much prayer, decided to give the baby up for adoption. Her sister, who already has children, is adopting the baby. I want to welcome the baby into the world, but I also want to acknowledge the birth mother. Birth can be so hard…and I don’t want her to feel left behind, on top of all of the other emotions she will be going through. Does anyone have a thoughtful gift/care package for this time?
Anonymous says
Will the child know that he/she was adopted and who the birth mother is? That would make a difference to me.
Otherwise, I’d go with a post-delivery care package for the physical recovery aspects. Maybe also research a book or two directed to getting through this. This will likely be a very emotional time for her (which you clearly recognize), and she probably won’t realize how emotional/hard it will be until baby is born.
lawsuited says
I’d get her a discrete piece of jewellery with the child’s birthstone and a card saying that you support her courageous decision.
Anonymous says
I would take a different route and not try to commemorate the birth with your gift or card. You don’t know how she will feel or how she will want to memorialize the event, so the best thing to do is just to be there for her. I’d send a simple “thinking of you” card that doesn’t laud her “courage,” bring her a postpartum care package and/or comfort food for her recovery, and take her out for lunch or coffee a couple weeks after the birth just to hang out. Follow her lead and don’t offer advice or opinions unless asked.
EP-er says
I don’t know how open they are planning on being with the children on who the birth mother is. I have a lot of opinions on this situation from personal experience and am trying to keep them to myself as much as possible… I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to give jewelry, but I wanted to do a little more than a card. So many of the post-natal specific baskets are so cutesy & seem to strike the wrong tone. I might have to make my own!
Anonymous says
I think it’s a great idea to make your own! You can get the tone just right and it’s more personal. What a kind gesture.
rosie says
I think a basket that focuses on her recovery would be nice. Earth Mama makes some postpartum things, like recovery bath herbs, sprays, etc. Maybe some fun books, Netflix subscription, food/meal delivery, comfy socks.
anon a mouse says
You describe her as not making good choices, but recognizing she is not ready to be a mother is a profoundly mature decision. It is also extremely brave. I think you can let her know you are thinking of her and acknowledge her bravery on this path.
Anonymous says
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking! Maybe she’s made some bad decisions in the past but she made an incredibly good decision here.
EP-er says
Oh absolutely! It is the right decision for her not to raise this child. I just can’t imagine what she is going through. The family knows the situation, but they don’t want to share who the birth mother actually is to outsiders. And I can just see everyone loving on the baby and the adoptive parents and kind of leaving the birth mother behind… Very brave, indeed.
Anonymous says
How long did it take for your boobs to get back to their normal size after breastfeeding? It’s been 6 months since I weaned my daughter – pre-pregnancy, I used to be a B cup, but I’ve now shrunk to a AA, and my breasts have become all misshapen. Will they ever recover?!
Anonymous says
Mine didn’t. Sorry.
Anonymous says
I’m much smaller than I ever was before, 2 years out.
Anonymouse says
Curious – did folks who permanently went down a size post weaning still go up several sizes while breastfeeding? 5 months pp, band size is back to prepregnancy, but cup size is up 3.
Maybe I should go ahead and donate all my prepregnancy bras now (sigh).
Anonymama says
Yes. Are you still breastfeeding? I went up 3 cup sizes initially, back down 2, and then after weaning back to slightly smaller than before. With number two grew even more initially, then after weaning went back to even smaller. Don’t donate the bras until you see what happens, you never know.
Anonymous says
Same.
lawsuited says
Mine went back to their pre-pregnancy size as soon as I finished weaning, but are definitely still misshapen over a year later.
Em says
Mine didn’t either. I used to be a B cup and I am now an A cup (I quit b-feeding 18 months ago).
Anonymous says
This is one of the sad truths of bf-ing that no one talks about. Sad, deflated balloons where perky perfectly sized b**bs previously enjoyed life. :(
Size wise I eventually went back to pre-preg size but they never recovered shape.
NYCer says
Does anyone have a Nuna Mixx2 stroller? If so, any opinions? Or if you were considering it and ultimately decided against it, I would also be curious to hear why. I am in NYC, so this stroller will get a lot of use.
It seems appealing that the Mixx2 can be used from birth without a bassinet or car seat (i.e., the seat reclines flat and there is an infant insert), as opposed to the Uppa Baby Vista that comes with a bassinet for newborns. I don’t need/want to use the Uppa Baby bassinet for sleeping purposes (we’re mostly sold on getting a snoo), so I am not thrilled about the idea about having an extra bassinet hanging around our apartment. My building has an elevator and doorman, so no stairs to contend with at home, if that makes any difference.
For various reasons, I am not concerned about the inability of it to transform into a double stroller.
AwayEmily says
Most strollers can be used fairly soon after birth if you get an infant positioner (basically a little baby-shaped pillow that stops them from rolling around). We had our babies in our Britax B-Agile, reclined flat with a positioner, once they were about a month old (and before then we just used a baby carrier).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, this. Our UppaBaby Cruz had an infant insert that you could use on a fully reclined position with the main seat, which you could do from birth. We mostly used the car seat in the stroller, but no separate bassinet was necessary. I don’t know anything about the Nuna but the Cruz is a good single stroller option and it has the huge storage underneath, which is so helpful at the beginning.
Anonymous says
+1 loved our Cruz, especially if you don’t care about turning it into a double. The Vista is also super nice (we upgraded after our second was born), and I’m willing to bet you could sell the bassinet.
AIMS says
+1. This is what we did and I loved it. UB also has tremendous customer service. They’ve overnighted new wheels to us (free of charge, after 2 years of everyday city use), sent a new canopy, no questions asked, when we tore ours in transit, etc. If you plan on having a car seat, the UB car seat is great for a newborn and we used that with the stroller for the first few months. Infant insert is also easy.
Anonymous says
We used the B-Agile from about 1 week old on, without a positioner. It reclined so close to flat I felt fine with it, and our son was big. It is also pretty easy to get a used snap and go frame for very little $$ that you can use with a carseat if you want.
Anonymous says
Ditto, though with a City Mini instead of a B-Agile, but they’re basically the same for this purpose.
Anonymous says
Same, We used a -Agile double from day 1 when we had the toddler + baby in the stroller. When it was just the baby we used a snap-and-go that we got for like $5 used.
anon says
when are you due? especially in colder weather it can be easier to use the bassinet when you have your baby bundled and at the beginning it is nice not to have to strap them in to get out of the house. we didnt have one with a bassinet and wish that we did
Anonymous says
Gosh this is so true. I’m above with the Cruz and then Vista. We actually bought a bassinet for the Cruz, and it was SO nice just to put one of the Bundle Mes in the bassinet with the baby in it. (Two early winter babies)
buffybot says
Yes, agreed. We only used the bassinet for 3 months, which seems ridiculous, but bub was a January baby in NYC and it was so nice to have him nestled down and protected from the wind. He also slept really well in it, especially when out moving, and the bassinet was easy to get him in and out. And when he was done with it (he let us know when he wanted to be up and looking around), we readily found someone who wanted to take the bassinet off our hands in our building.
NYCer says
I’m due in March, so at the tail end of super cold weather (hopefully)…
I liked the Nuna more than the Cruz when I pushed them around (granted for less than 5 min), but all the rave reviews of the bassinet is making me rethink the Vista since it comes with the bassinet.
Thanks everyone!
Anonymous says
Also, don’t discount the bassinet for sleeping. The snoo is SO expensive, and while I’m sure worth it for some, you might have an easy sleeper and be just fine with the bassinet.
Anonymous says
I’ve noticed that even if baby is okay in a newborn insert and lying flat, many moms want to be able to see their young baby while walking, which isn’t possible with a forward-facing stroller. As baby gets a bit older it’s less important to be able to see the baby and the baby wants to face out, so the decision tree changes. I haven’t checked out the specs of the Nuna Mixx2, but just something to keep in mind.
Anonymous says
Or the baby may not be ready to face out! Mine was physically mature enough to ride in a regular stroller, reclined, pretty early, but got overstimulated so quickly that there was really no point to it.
NYCer says
Definitely! The Nuna seat that reclines flat can face out or in. I cannot imagine ever using it facing out with a newborn/infant.
CCLA says
We had the Mixx Jett, which looks pretty much the same. We liked it and are planning to use it again with #2 (we’ll get a double of some sort as well, but since #1 will be in daycare all day I’ll likely use the Nuna during mat leave). I didn’t see a huge difference between it and the Uppa strollers, was more personal preference when I pushed them around the store, just preferred the Nuna’s feel. One surprising thing was how much we actually loved the bassinet – not for sleeping, just for putting teeny tiny baby in for walks in the first 3 months. Yes, it was useless after then, but it was so much easier than strapping baby in, even though we technically could just use the seat fully reclined.
anon says
Fellow NYCer here. My one regret from maternity leave is that I didn’t spring for the bassinet attachment for our stroller. It would have been so much easier to just put baby down and go than to deal with straps. Plus, if baby is still sleeping when you get home, you can remove the bassinet and bring it into another room with you.
I hear you on not wanting extra stuff in your apartment, but I would just store the rumble seat in a closet while you are using the bassinet and then sell the bassinet after a few months.
Eleanor says
Does anyone buy Old Navy work slacks? I haven’t tried for many years ,but back in the day I always found they would end up frumpy and unflattering after a wash. It’d be nice to get some budget pants, but only if they hold up.
AwayEmily says
I’ve found their pixie pants to be pretty good, though they get baggy after a single wear so you have to wash them frequently. I’ve started depending a lot more on Target for my budget workwear — I think their stuff is better quality for about the same price as old navy.
Anon says
I’m wearing the ON Harper Full Length pants right now that I bought in the Spring. They’ve held up for the last 6 months with regular washing and air drying, but I feel like they’ll likely wear out and look sloppy by next Spring or Summer. But for my purposes, that’s great. I never seem to wear the same pants or jeans more than 2 years, either because of fit or style, regardless of the cost. I hunted down some cheaper alternatives so I wasn’t spending $200 on pants every 2 years. The Harpers were on sale for something like $25 when I bought them, so I’m coming out ahead even if I buy a new pair every year.
Anonymous says
TBH, I think you’re better off waiting for 40% at Banana Republic and spending a little bit more. I have totally given up on Old Navy non-jeans.
Anon says
I vastly prefer Uniqlo for work pants right now. They fit me so much better than Old Navy
AIMS says
+1. I occasionally still get stuff at ON but quality is so hit or miss and even the same item will often have split seams, etc. (looking at you, pixie pants!). The quality of Uniqlo stuff tends to be more along the lines of more expensive items in my closet.
Anon says
I get my work pants from Express – they are machine washable, hold up well after washing for about 2 years and I am generally able to find the right length (I’m too tall for regulars but too short for talls in most brands, but express hits me right, probably because they assume a heel allowance and I wear flats). On sale, you can usually find them for $35-$45 a pair.
anon says
Are the current editors low-rise? That’s how Express describes them on the website, and it’s kept me away. I totally agree that Express pants are perfect for people who need something in between a regular and a tall — but I def don’t want a low rise!
Anon says
I haven’t bought any this season, but I think I bought a couple of pants that are pitched at “mid-rise” last season (might not have been editor). I am super short-waisted though, so even if they had been low rise I don’t think I would have noticed, and in any event the editor is higher-waisted than the columnist, so hopefully a low-rise editor wouldn’t be that low?
anon says
I’d like to, but they don’t fit me well at all.
I’m finding some of the comments here comforting. I feel like I have to replace work pants pretty regularly because they start looking tatty. Sounds like that’s more common than I realized.
First Cup thoughts says
Any suggestions for first cup for babies? From research so far, it sounds like recommendation is to start with straw cups, then 360, then regular cups and avoid/limit sippy cups because of potential speech implications?
We’re planning to introduce purees shortly, so I thought cup at the same time, mainly to get used to / very limited expectation of any real drinking for a while.
Kiddo is breastfed, but takes bottles at daycare.
Thanks!
anne-on says
I liked Thinkbaby at that age for having the cups with various lids that you could screw onto the same base. My son was also SUPER stubborn about giving up his bottle, and he begrudingly accepted these cups mostly, I think, because they were clear and looked/felt like bottles.
https://www.amazon.com/thinkbaby-Sippy-Cup-Light-Blue/dp/B01FORRWQS/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1538677372&sr=8-2&keywords=thinkbaby+bottle+sippy
FWIW – my kid always hated sippy cups but was pretty happy with a straw bottle – the camelback ones were our favorites for water.
Anon says
We started with nuk and dr browns trainers for about a week, then switched to the munchkin 360 (fewer parts). She didn’t really get the concept of sucking on a straw until after a couple of weeks with pouches, which is when we introduced the munchkin weighted straw cup (and could finally stop bringing sippy cups out to restaurants). At 14 months, we pretty much exclusively use the weighted straw or the munchkin 360.
When we started purees, we started giving a cup with a few ounces of water and let her drink to thirst at the same time. Trying to instill a love of plain water, as this momma detests plain water and wishes she could convince herself to drink more of it.
Anon says
Diastasis Recti – Has anyone tried the Mutu System to fix this? Many of the SAHM on my local Facebook group have posted about it and seem to love it, but I can’t tell if it’s just another WW-style program where you just pay to start and stop every few months or if it really does get results.
Anonymous says
Have you tried on your own using the “drawing in” method?
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/08/20/542424977/getting-to-the-core-of-exercises-said-to-strengthen-mum-tum
Anonymama says
This drawing in method really worked for me. I just tried to do it a couple times a day randomly for as long as I could (usually about a minute) and the gap I’d had for over 2 years actually finally closed up.
Apron searching says
Recommendations for toddler/dad matching aprons? Or toddler aprons in general? My daughter’s idea and I thought it was a cute one, but I’m having trouble finding good options online! Willing to go nice.
lawsuited says
Definitely Etsy.
anne-on says
Williams Sonoma has a whole line of kids aprons (and kids cooking classes). They may be a bit big for your toddler but the necks are adjustable and my son loves his star wars (R2 D2) one.
anon says
+1! I got my son a Williams Sonoma one for his 3rd birthday last year. He loves it. I think I read in the comments that it fit a women’s 8 year old perfectly, so I expected it to be big, but it still works. And bonus, you can get the child’s name monogrammed onto it.
Anonymous says
If you at all know how to use a sewing machine, aprons are incredibly quick and easy to make. Literally, I think they were my first project when my grandma taught me to sew in elementary school. It might be fun to have daughter pick out fabric and maybe ribbons for the ties, and make them yourself. You could do both in an afternoon.
If you don’t have the time, I recommend Etsy — because they’re so easy, shouldn’t be too expensive!
Hospital Wear says
I’m looking for recommendations for nursing pajamas/loungewear to wear in the hospital after I give birth. Last time I just wore my hospital gown because everyone said that’s what I should do, and it made me feel pretty crappy. I have no photographs of me and my first in the hospital because I felt that I looked terrible, but this time around our first will be visiting his new sibling in the hospital so I’ll want to capture that for posterity.
anne-on says
I went with the Gillian O’Malley menswear style pjs in a size up from Target along with a robe. I liked that they weren’t super $$ so if they got gross I wouldn’t mind tossing them. The waistbands were also pretty soft and hit relatively high up (I had an emergency C-section) and didn’t both my scar. Personally, I also nursed and liked being able to unbutton my top to breastfeed but still have my shoulders/back covered – the hospital was FREEZING and this kept me warmer and able to keep the side I wasn’t nursing on more covered.
I liked them enough to buy more when I got home, and gifted them to my SIL when she gave birth – she really liked them for the same reasons.
KateMiddletown says
I love those PJs – they’re super soft. I’ve been wearing my normal size during pregnancy – the shorts still fit even at 39+weeks but the shirt became too much of a belly shirt haha. I will definitely stick them in my hospital bag!
Anonymous says
I took a pair of maternity sweats from Old Navy, some nursing tanks, and a maternity open-front jersey cardigan that I wore a ton in the months after. Such a cardigan definitely wouldn’t need to be maternity, but I gained a bunch of weight and wore it during the last few months of pregnancy too. I looked at tons of nursing PJ sets, but they were so expensive. I’m glad I went with separates. It all got more use.
EB0220 says
My uniform was maternity yoga pants, a nursing tank (I like the Target ones) and an open front cardigan.
Anon. says
I liked the Gillian O’Malley nightgowns from Target along with a robe. Nightgown meant no waistband to mess with and easy access for checking on everything. I went with a colorblocked one and a solid color one which I thought leaned a little bit more super comfy tank dress vs nightie with little flowers. (Ok, its defintely a nightgown I was delusional – but whatever keeps you sane.) I wore them until I stopped nursing at night. Just enough support in the top without being restrictive. And they were nice and flowy so forgiving as my shape changed. And as anne-on sas – not super $$ so can disgard if gross.
AIMS says
I brought one of those Eileen West cotton nighties with buttons that open down the front for easy nursing and it looks super sweet in all the pictures (which we never intended on taking, but it worked out). I like the Little House on the Prairie look, though, YMMV. I also loved men’s style button down PJ’s after my first was born, if that’s more your thing. The Target PJs mentioned above look like a great dupe for my favorite Cosabella pajamas, so I’d try those too.
Edna Mazur says
I didn’t want anything nice in the hospital. I wore old yoga pants/leggings, a cozy cardigan and a nursing tank. I’m like you, HATED wearing the hospital gown and changed ASAP for my next two births. It made a world of difference for me.
AIMS says
One more thought to add to this – just saw an article about how you can actually order “nice” hospital gowns on etsy. I had no idea this was a thing but makes sense. I don’t think I’d want one for the delivery but I can see it being an option for recovery. This is the article. https://nypost.com/2018/09/28/moms-are-giving-birth-in-fancy-hospital-gowns-now/
oil in Houston says
I got one of those for the delivery and loved it, it was called pretty pusher or something like that
oil in Houston says
I actually got a very nice cotton robe that I wore whilst in maternity, it looked great on pics
anon says
My one-year old is really into music. Any and all kinds. His daycare has a music class once a week and the teacher even pulled me aside to mention how responsive he has been to music. What can I do at home to build upon this? I have no musical skill (neither does DH), other than turning Pandora on, so I am not sure where to begin. To be clear, I am not trying to create a Mozart or anything, its just exciting that he has this surprising interest.
anon. says
DANCE PARTIES. My kid loves dancing around at night and before school to all kinds of music. We live in New Orleans so we also turn on brass bands a lot and have “parades” around the house. He now asks for music all the time and I love it.
anne-on says
Mozart music cube? Baby Einstein definitely has music episodes as I recall. You can also (shudder) buy those melissa and doug ‘music’ sets…and then promptly hide the cymbals. My son also really enjoyed the egg shakers at that age and they weren’t too obnoxiously loud:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XKM3WK1/ref=sspa_dk_detail_2?psc=1
Anon says
+1 to Baby Einstein. Bubble Guppies also has catchy tunes. And yes, dance parties and playing diverse music in the background. (Try a “kids songs around the world” type of station.)
Ask daycare if they have other classes, or if there’s an option to do the class more often during the week. Ask if they ever bring in local businesses to teach classes – can they bring in a music teacher or someone from a local dance studio or music shop?
Check out your local and surrounding park districts and libraries. Ours has concerts for kids – primarily in the summer but less often throughout the year. Ours also has “Tot Rock” and “Music and Me” type classes. (Most of them are during the workday, but you might be able to call and see if they’ll open a weekend class next session.) Also call local independent toy stores, sometimes they have local performers who come put on concerts. You could go and get their card, and see if they regularly perform at the library or grocery store or something.
Pick a couple kid CDs to play in the car while you drive. They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Sufjan Stevens, Lisa Loeb all have kid song albums that aren’t horrible to listen to. Also check out “For the Kids” series which has artists like Darius Rucker and Sixpence None the Richer singing nursery rhymes.
avocado says
I would not limit your music choices to kids’ music! As a toddler, my daughter loved all kinds of folk, rock, reggae, etc. As a tween she has great taste in music, and we like to think it’s partly because we exposed her to great music in her formative years.
If you want to sign your son up for additional classes at some point, look for a curriculum that includes solfege and ear training–I believe Musikgarten is one. Sight-singing and ear training are the true keys to musical literacy, and are so much easier to learn at a young age.
SC says
+1. My kid probably hasn’t been exposed to enough kids’ music, but he loves regular pop, hip hop, classic rock, jazz, funk, etc.
Anon says
This is interesting. So do you not worry about your kid singing suggestive /violent / problematic lyrics? I get that they don’t truly understand (and neither did I trying to rap along with Tupac back in the day) but I still have a hard time with my toddler singing “Oh. My. Gosh. Becky. Look at her butt.” just from the Sing movie. Some of my favorites from a variety of genres have truly adult lyrics that I wasn’t comfortable with my kid singing along to. Should I just get over this?
SC says
We keep it to clean versions of hip hop, and try to avoid songs that are too suggestive (so I wouldn’t play Baby Got Back either). This morning, Kiddo listened to the Cha Cha Slide and Stuck in the Middle With You.
Anonymous says
My preschoolers know every word to the first few songs of Hamilton, although I usually wait a few seconds before turning up the volume to skip the really clear “b@stard.” Is it awkward to hear a young kid rap about having intercourse over 4 sets of corsets? You bet. I rationalize that historic and musical merits justify exposing them to some inappropriate language that they don’t really understand. They do routinely comment that “HE SAID A BAD WORD!” At the “damn fool who shot him” line, and that’s just an opportunity to talk about how sometimes grown ups can say bad words because they know when it is and is not appropriate (even though it’s never polite) but kids can never say them.
Anonymous says
That’s so fun! I would just listen to lots of music and sing along with him. Also maybe get him some one of those percussion kits for babies/toddlers so he can try using a maraca or tambourine to keep the beat.
https://www.amazon.com/Time2Play-Musical-Instrument-Children-Toddlers/dp/B01N2U0C0Y/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1538664036&sr=8-15&keywords=percussion+kit+baby
LH says
No advice, but I’m in the same boat. My 8 month old is so much more responsive to music than books (the only book she sits through is Baby Beluga, because I sing it), which has been a surprise since DH and I are both tone deaf and I love to read. Just proof that kids are already their own person, even at this young age!
DLC says
+1 for the Mozart Cube. My 6 year old still plays with her and she recognizes the songs when she hears them on the radio, at the opera, during a comemercial.
Olin terms of toys for them to make their own music, My toddler loves the harmonica, the kazoo, the Ukelele, and that awful cat piano (not sure what it’s called, but it drives me nuts, but the kids love it) .
For music exposure, our symphony does kids concerts, and you can find tons music classes around here for toddlers. I think it’s good to have musical options that focus on listening and creating rather than watching a video.
JTX says
My younger son is also very interested in music, and he loves to play with musical toys. We have and love the following kids’ instruments: a Remo brand drum, the Melissa & Doug band in a box set (maracas, tambourine, wood blocks, castanets, triangle), Schylling jingle stick, a harmonica, a kazoo, a recorder, a slide whistle, and a xylophone.
Anonymous says
For now, I would just stick with musical toys like others have mentioned, and playing music to him. All different kids, and maybe check out some local concerts if they are casual and baby-friendly. We take our kids to orchestra concerts every summer at outdoor venues, and they really love it. My husband and I have wildly divergent taste in music, so my kids listen to everything from Classical to hip hop & rap and love it all. I do not love my 3 year old knowing the lyrics to some of the hip hop songs, but can’t win them all. We play our share of Baby Shark, but usually avoid kid-specific music other than Disney Soundtracks, because grownups get to control the radio/Google Play.
In a couple years if your kid is still interested, look into the Suzuki teaching method — kids can start as young as 3.
Anonymous says
Looking to this supportive community for some moral support! Baby is 7 weeks and I’m suddenly feeling terrible. I was fine at my 6 week check, but I’m guessing combination of hormones from weaning at 6 weeks, baby who won’t nap unless held (we had househuests and spouse had a few days off work so yesterday was the first day in a while it was all on me to do All the holding), and lack of sleep is making me an anxiety monster. Obviously I will contact my doctor if this doesn’t improve in a couple days, and there’s a support group that meets next week, but … Help me get through today? Specifically having anxiety about under/overfeeding as this is my second very hungry formula baby — I think we underfed our last one while feeding him the max the AAP recommends, so I don’t want to make that mistake again, but don’t want to set him up for a lifetime of obesity either. Baby is such a loud sleeper that I can’t get any sleep unless I spend part of the night in the guest room, but scared to move him to his own room until he’ll sleep somewhere other than a rock n play… So any ideas about how to encourage that? Older child slept great flat on his back so we are clueless. Baby sleeps fine at night as long as he’s in the RnP (usually a 5 hour block). Starting to resent baby and that’s not a place I want to be!
Anonymous says
If you’re sure he’s hungry and not crying for some other reason, I’d feed. My baby wants to drink ~40-45 oz per day (we combo feed) and our pediatrician ok-ed it. She is big for her age but not fat – about 80th percentile in both weight and height. Bigger adults need more calories than small adults, why wouldn’t bigger kids?
Anonymous says
Thank you!! Trying to just feed without worrying till his 8 week check. Our poor older kid gained 50 percentile points for weight after he started solid food so I’m definitely trying to make sure I’m offering enough. Both kids are very tall and this one was 9 lb at birth.
AIMS says
Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think you can overfeed a baby at this point. They self regulate. Anytime mine overdid it, they spit it up. Check with your doctor but I wouldn’t worry. I don’t remember where I read it but babies aren’t like grown ups; they’re not sitting there thinking, “well, I’m really full but that cake is delicious so maybe i’ll keep at it.”
As for the rest, I would just put the baby down for naps and then transition from there. Your baby wants to be held because of course it does. But I bet if you stop, they will adjust pretty quickly.
Hang in there! It’s so hard! But you’re doing great, and the fact that you recognize all these issues is a sign of how well you are actually coping.
Anonymous says
You can stretch their stomach gradually. So yea, if you normally feed 2-3 oz and you suddenly give 6, they will probably spit a lot of it up. But if you continue doing this, their stomach will gradually stretch to take more. And if you have a big stomach then you don’t feel “full” until you’ve eaten way too much. The same thing happens with overweight adults.
Anonymous says
Hugs! You’re doing great. Little babies are tough.
Personally, I wouldn’t worry about overfeeding a 7 week old. Have you looked into paced feeding methods? There are some helpful videos online. Helps you feed the way that a b-fed baby would eat so that you’re sure baby is eating because they’re still hungry and not because there’s a bottle in their mouth. Can you swap turns with your partner on sleeping in the guest room/bedroom?
Anonymous says
Yes, we try to do it this way. We’re currently doing shifts but eveb with 4 hours of sleep it gets rough!
Anonn says
This is definitely the anxiety monster rearing its ugly head. I had PPA with my first, so I totally empathize. If the anxiety is not better ASAP (like, by Sunday), get to a doctor/therapist stat. I waited way too long for help (like, til my LO1 was 18 months) and it just gets worse the longer you wait to go in.
This is your second baby. You’ve got this. Ignore the AAP “max” recommendations for formula and watch your child’s hunger cues. You’ve been here before and can totally do this without reading outside rules. If Baby #2 seems hungry, feed him. No amount of food you give him now will “set him up for a lifetime of obesity.” If you’re worried about over feeding, give 2 oz, burp, see if baby wants more. (Just like an adult who is waiting 20 minutes to see if the food “hits” their stomach. Give baby 5-10 minutes or so before giving another 2 oz, etc.) At worst, if you overfeed a baby in one feeding, you’re just going to deal with more spit up (which you have totally handled before and can do again).
Re sleep – you have full permission to leave baby in RnP in master bedroom with daddy and you get to sleep in the guest room. Full stop. Uninterrupted sleep is the BEST thing to help you deal with your anxiety. When baby wakes up, Daddy can feed baby formula. (It’s one of the perks of being a formula baby! BOTH parents can feed!) If you feel like you need to “share” night wakings with your husband, split the night. He takes wake ups til 2 a.m.; you go to bed at 9 pm and take wake ups after 2 a.m. That way you get a solid 5 hours of sleep uninterrupted in the guest room. It makes a world of difference.
Baby should have an 8 week check up soon – ask your doctor about ideas to reduce use of the RnP so that you can feel comfortable moving baby to another room and getting more sleep in your own room. But for the next week-10 days until that appointment, just focus on getting you the most sleep you can. Tell pediatrician you are dealing with anxiety. A lot of times the ped is focused on what is best for the baby, but when they know mama is dealing with PPD/PPA, they will focus much more on helping you balance the baby’s needs and yours.
Anonymous says
This is soooo helpful. Thank you. We’re already doing most of these things (including the occasional full night in the guest room– spouse can sleep through all the grunting/tossing/minor fussing and only wake up for feeds, which are only 2 at this point). I’ll give myself a deadline to call my doctor if not feeling better.
Anonymous says
Edited to add: you have inspired me to make a phone appointment with my provider for Monday. If things are better, great, but if I’m still sitting here crying, it’s already scheduled.
Anonn says
I’m so glad you have an appointment for Monday. Having the support system already in place when you need it makes it so much easier to go in and get the help.
Anonymous says
What a kind and helpful response! This community is awesome.
To the OP: you’ve done this before and you can totally do it again! Keep your head up, and work on getting some sleep. Sleep is SO important for managing emotions, even when there are no other factors at play. Sounds like you’re already planning to do so, but I echo the encouragement above to talk to your healthcare provider ASAP. You could even call the ped or your gyn today. I’m sure they’d be happy to help you manage/give you some pointers over the phone until you can get in for an appointment/regular checkup.
anon says
hugs. life with newborns is soooo hard. i have three month old twins so I am not too far ahead of you. lack of sleep also made me an emotional mess (in fact it makes me a mess even not postpartum). try to shower every day or get outside for a few minutes if you can – i really regret not doing that. regarding the sleeping, does the baby only like the rock n play because of the incline or because it rocks? if it is the incline you could try a crib wedge. my daughter was in the nicu and was kept elevated there due to reflux and they recommended we use a wedge at home, so if it is the incline you could try that. alternatively, to get your baby more accustomed to flat surfaces – do you have a stroller with a bassinet attachment? baby might sleep when flat if on the go, so you could try to go for a bit of a walk (again i realize hard when exhausted).
Anonymous says
Thank you! I did not know a crib wedge existed. Baby currently won’t sleep in car seat snap n go– wants his eyes covered to sleep! We do go to preschool drop off at minimum every day, in a sling.
Everlong says
You have got this! You are self-aware enough to be able to identify exactly what’s going on and what you need. That’s great! You’ve already gotten great advice about the anxiety and feeding. I fully agree with keep feeding as needed regardless of what APA says. Follow your gut.
Have you tried letting him sleep in his crib? He might surprise you. I am very much Team Get-the-Sleep and however you need to do (safely – like with the RNP) that is totally fine! Sleep makes a world of difference.
Hang in there. You are in the thick of it and fortunately, it feels long but it’s temporary.
BPS says
Sending you love. You got this. And +1 to the posters telling you to keep feeding when baby is hungry AND giving you props for recognizing the symptoms this time around!
Ugh, the over/under feeding with newborn babies is SO HARD. I still worry if my baby’s tongue tie (which was ultimately clipped 1 week in) and him not “getting enough” is why he’s on the smaller side despite having a tall Dad/medium height Mom. My brain knows it’s just genes/growth rates being different for different babies, races, etc. but funny how we always find a way to blame ourselves.
CCLA says
You’ve gotten so many great responses already. One more thing I’d add is consider attempting to introduce some sort of schedule, or at least routine. It seems like the last thing you’d want to focus on in the depths of this, but when I was in your shoes a couple of years ago, it saved me, and made things relatively predictable, which helped so much. Even though I hated feeding the baby, I knew roughly when it would occur. Even a loose eat/play/sleep routine can help a lot, as can trying to schedule (loosely, at this age) their feedings. Bonus with formula, you can know how much they’re eating, so if they start crying 30 minutes after taking 4 ounces, they’re probably not hungry. I’m a sample size of one, but within a week or two after introducing a routine around 7 weeks old, my DD went from almost never sleeping more than 2 hours to going 6 hour stretches at night, and then 12 hour stretches a month later. They really do thrive on routine. Also, hire whatever help you can – whether outsourcing household things or even hiring someone to come watch the baby for a couple of hours so you can sleep during the day or take a long shower. It will get better!
Anonymous says
Thank you! Baby self-developed a pretty consistent routine/schedule very early (because we always have to get up at the same time for preschool drop off & that first nap is during the walk to/from preschool). Generally the eat-play-sleep routine, so he generally really only cries upon waking or when tired. But struggling emotionally with deviations from routine, particularly when a less-than-2-hour nap means extra feedings.
CHL says
You are not alone! The first 6 weeks are hard but the second 6 weeks are also hard! Hormones are awful! Sleep deprivation is awful! These are physical facts and not a reflection on you! I am not a pediatrician, but I think I can confidently say that you are probably feeding your baby within a normal range of healthy and that even if you are potentially feeding him more than the AAP recommends, your baby knows what is best for him and it is likely NOT setting him up for a whole lifetime of obesity. Babies are resilient! Do what you need to do to get through the day! Or the night! Try earplugs or a white noise machine if you want to stay int he same room? Keep trying the back bc one day it will change? Get a mothers helper or babysitter to come so you can get a nap? Whatever is happening now, it is temporary — just keep going!
Redux says
Is anyone else’s libido completely shot with this Kavanaugh stuff? The MeToo movement over the last year has been really triggering for me and I am basically never in the mood. I am so grateful that this is becoming a national conversation. It’s doing a number on my s*x life though.
Anonymous says
No. And I really think this is a sign it’s time for professional help. Anxiety is impacting living your daily life!
Anonymous says
I have no libido to begin with (still nursing) but I definitely think the news is taking a toll on my health. I was recently diagnosed with a serious autoimmune disease. The doctor asked about stressful events and I said no, I’m happy, adore my baby, DH and I are in careers we enjoy and making plenty of money, all four parents are healthy, etc etc. I didn’t mention the news, because I didn’t want him to laugh at me, but I do think it’s been a significant source of stress.
anon says
Yes, and I have no idea what to do about it.
IVF and work says
Just started our first cycle of IVF. For those of you who have gone through it, did you tell your boss what was up?
For context:
– i work remote 100% (unless travelling), so i don’t even tell my boss when i’ll be at a routine dr appt unless i’ll be gone for like half the day
– i travel 1-2 times a month (2-3 day trips)
– i already told my boss that i can’t travel for the second half of the month for medical reasons. She was understandably concerned, but i said it was nothing to worry about.
Part of me says just tell her. We have a good working relationship and friendship. Part of me says don’t overshare.
Thoughts?
Anonymous says
Honestly, given that she is a “she”, she may guess that all of this is pregnancy-related in some way. I don’t think you need to explicitly tell her.
RR says
The first time around, I did tell my boss, with whom I had a great relationship. We were scheduling a lot of major events in cases, and I felt like he needed to know why I mysteriously couldn’t schedule things for a certain time frame (in retrospect, that’s hilarious because I ended up with a trial that went unexpectedly long and a cycle that went unexpectedly fast and instead of everything major happening after the trial, I missed a morning of trial for egg retrieval and came later–luckily I was second chair and the judge was understanding of my mysterious medical condition).
The second time around, I did not tell my boss, and I had some concerned questions about my medical appointments. (It didn’t help that they had to do most of my blood draws in my hand because I’m a horrible blood draw.)
anon says
You second chaired a trial the afternoon of your egg retrieval?! Bad@ss! I spent the afternoon passed out with a heating pad.
RR says
I did. I don’t recommend it, although it does make for a good story. There was a lot of Advil involved.
rosie says
I think you just need to go with your gut. I had a loss with IUI #3 that really impacted my work & I eventually told some people about the loss and also that we had fertility issues. By the time we got to IVF, I did tell the person I worked most closely with. She was supportive and it definitely helped me to tell her that because of the last-minute nature of scheduling I might not be able to attend a meeting, etc. I didn’t go into too many details of what particular appointments were for, just that we were doing IVF. She was also very respectful about not asking for details–very much a “I don’t know exactly what is going on but I support you and I hope it goes well.”
anon says
I don’t think you *need* to tell her, but I think it’s fine to tell her if that will ease some of the stress you’re feeling about your cycle.
Like Rosie, I had a loss after IUI #5 and ended up telling my direct supervisor. By that point, our fertility struggles were becoming all-consuming, and it was a relief to tell. She had had her own struggles to build her family and was super understanding. She even covered for me a few times. So, for me, it was worth it, but YMMV.
Best of luck with your upcoming cycle.
IVF and work says
Oh I agree. If I had to place a bet, I’d bet money on her thinking it was fertility/pregnancy related.
Hawaii Planning says
Cross-posting from main site.
I’m in charge of planning a family reunion of sorts in Hawaii for 11 people: 7 adults, 4 kids ranging age 3 – 10. Open to either hotel / condo community / house rental though access to a pool is preferred. Near beach. Ideally with option of a suite with kitchen (for those of us wanting the option to cook) but walkable to restaurants for those of us who don’t.
Price somewhat negotiable but prefer less than $1000 / night for all 11 of us. I’m overwhelmed with options and not sure where to look. Can you help?
shortperson says
maybe wailea fairway estates?
Anonymous says
I did something similar and found the travel forums at TripAdvisor super helpful. There are Hawaii experts (including some pro or at least really good amateur travel agents) who hang out there and answer exactly this kind of question all the time. The first question they’ll ask is what island – and I found this totally overwhelming so check out their FAQs or just pick based on what is the easiest flight from departure cities.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowForum-g28932-i36-Hawaii.html
If you want to outsource the decisions you can hire a travel agent – Ciao Bambino seems to focus on families but I don’t have any personal experience with them and they cater to high end (which for Hawaii, $1k/night for 11 people is not high end).
I didn’t use their services but found these posts helpful:
http://ciaobambino.com/hawaii-week-maui-with-kids/
http://ciaobambino.com/mauis-best-kids-activities/
We ended up picking Maui because there was consensus online that for first-time visitors it had a good blend of the other islands. And there were direct flights. Our trip got limited to just 3 kids and 4 adults so we ended up with 5 nights at a 2b/2b condo at a Hyatt (??) property that is a timeshare deal so we have to sit through a presentation but apparently the rack rate is $1k/night (we are paying $1k for the 5 nights).
For flights, car, and the other 5 nights we booked a deal through Costco – it is a fantastic deal and was super easy. That might be your best bet actually since they do tons of these. For reference we are staying at the Fairmont for 5 nights + 5 r/t plane tickets + 10 days of car rental = 5k.
Anonymous says
This is what travel agents are for. I’ll recommend one I know well. The owners lived in Hawaii for many years while in the military so are great resources for this specific request.
Don’t let the website name throw you – they coordinate all kinds of travel.
http://www.thecruiseplanner.com/
NYCer says
I have not personally stayed here, but know of at least four friends who have stayed at Honua Kai on Maui and loved it. I think that it is basically furnished condos, but with a lot of the other amenities of a hotel (pools, on the beach, restaurants, etc.). Also not prohibitively expensive.
I believe the largest option is a 3 bedroom, so you may not all fit in one condo though.
Anonymous says
This is probably really stupid, but I’m starting to seriously question my family planning because of comments from strangers. DH and I have a 2 year old daughter and we both feel that our family is complete for a whole host of reasons. A few friends (or maybe “friends” is more accurate) have suggested that I don’t really like parenthood or don’t love my kid as much as they love theirs because I don’t want more. This couldn’t be further from the truth – I was honestly kind of ambivalent about parenthood to begin with, but I’ve been blown away by how much I love my daughter and being a mom. I know it’s crazy to reconsider my family size because of judgy comments from others, but I just hate that there are people out there thinking I had one kid and was like “nah, this isn’t for me.” (And I would absolutely hate for my daughter to feel unwanted or like we had her and then changed our minds about kids.) If anything I sort of feel the opposite – my daughter was such a sweet, easy baby that it seems like tempting fate to have another one because I know it would probably be harder. Any advice for getting past these comments? Do other moms of onlies-by-choice get this judgment?
Anon says
What unbelievable jerks! Maybe you should respond to those people that you love your daughter so much, you couldn’t bear to split your attention and resources between her and another kid.
Anonymous says
1- you sound happy. That’s amazing. Misery loves company and strangers are trying to knock you down out of your happiness.
2- you are right. A second baby will add a level of crazy that your life simply doesn’t have right now.
3- all the books about siblings start off by saying, “imagine one day you got home and your husband said he loves you so much that he got ANOTHER WIFE! WHO NOW LIVES WITH YOU TWO! ALL THE TIME! This is how your child will feel when you tell them you are pregnant with a sibling. It will take them time to adjust.” Your daughter KNOWS she is loved. Your daughter is delighted to have all your attention all of the time. The idea that she would ever think she was unwanted, simply because you didn’t have another child, is totally untrue!
4- DO YOU. You got this. Stick with your happy perfectly-sized family!
Anon @ 12:52 says
Edited to add: I have one child and desperately want more children but can’t have any for the foreseeable future. I don’t want any moms-of-multiples to think this is judging them negatively!
anon says
i think this is one of those situations where people make absurd comments, but you know what is best for you and your family and what you want. kind of like when people criticize someone for not breastfeeding and say that if they really loved their child they would. there is no “right” number of kids to have. some people want one, some people want five and some people want none. also, sometimes people do not have more than one child for reasons that are beyond their control. one of my friends wouldn’t stop bleeding after her delivery of her first and ended up having to have a hysterectomy. if anyone were to make a comment like that to her, i honestly hope she would punch them in the face. your daughter will not feel unwanted or that you had her and changed your mind about having kids. she might at want point ask for a sibling or ask why she doesn’t have one (when she was preschool aged my younger sister really really wanted a younger sibling, but my parents did not want a third and i do not think for one second it occurred to my sister that they didn’t want a third bc she was too difficult or something like that – which was not the reason, they just only wanted two). who cares what people are out there thinking – as long as you and DH are happy with your family size that is all that matters. it honestly also has never ever occurred to me that the people i know who only have one kid, chose not to have more because they do not like being a parent – that really never has crossed my mind
Anon says
These people are totally out of line, very mean, and just plain wrong.
One big reason for me not to have more than the number I have is that I love mine so much. Another kid would take so much time away from enjoying the existing kids and giving them the attention they need. At minimum, 9 months of pregnancy where I’m exhausted and have other lovely symptoms, plus time where I’m super focused on baby because of breastfeeding, plus time where partner or I will have to curtail family’s activities because we have to get home for baby to nap, and then all the time of catering to the younger’s needs. This reasoning can apply whether you stop at 1 or more, just depending on your personal circumstances.
Also, I was an only from one parent and one of three from the other. Guess which parent’s love I felt more? And was always there for me? And then always there for my kids? Yep, parent who didn’t have any other kids to tend to.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, time to get new friends. These people sound awful and not worth your time. I’m an only child and I never doubted my parents’ love for me. I know that they (particularly my mom) didn’t want more for several reasons but that has no effect on how they felt about me. I will say that being an adult only child is amazing for so many reasons, including having their help and exclusive attention with our own kids. We decided to have more than 1 but that’s our personal choice and has no relation to how much other parents love their kids. I think parents will always get judged no matter what choice they make – i.e. only 1 kid, 2 same-sex kids (trying for opposite gender?), 3 is too much, etc. etc… If you and your spouse are on the same page, that’s all that matters.
anne-on says
With strangers you have my permission to go totally nuclear. In the past with judgy strangers I’ve done a few of the following a cold stare followed by ‘how charming, unsolicited advice on my life.’ and walked away. A cold stare with ‘we’re not able to have any more, thank you for your concern’ and walked away or my personal favorite ‘luckily, you have no say in my family planning!’.
For ‘friends’ I’d shut this down HARD with varying levels of comments adapted to your personality – ‘we’re very pleased with our family size’, ‘what an odd thing to say’, ‘you surely aren’t implying I don’t love my child, are you?’ lather rinse repeat…
We are one and done for a combination of health and work/life balance reasons. Honestly it was 80/20 health risks, which helped shut down the comments from family/close friends quickly – I could very honestly say the joy of another child wasn’t worth the very real risks to my health or the prospect of leaving my existing child/husband without a mom/wife.
Anonymous says
No, no, no, do not let these people make you doubt your decisions! You and your family are happy with the status quo. That is reason enough to consider your family complete.
I firmly believe that no child should be conceived unless both parents desperately want it. Before we had our daughter, I wanted a baby with every fiber of my being. When she was around 5 or 6 months old and I’d begun to recover from the h3ll that is life with a newborn, I realized that she was everything I’d ever dreamed of. I hadn’t just wanted a child, I had wanted THIS child, and none other. Over the years, that feeling has only intensified. I never again felt the longing for a baby, so that was that.
anon says
Wow. These people are horrible. I really like to think I would have said something, but I probably would have been too stunned. I can’t even imagine thinking that about parents of one. I will most likely be a parent of one.
Only you and your husband know what’s right for your family. No one else does. (I would italicize that if I could.)
Now I wonder if people think I don’t love my child because I’m not eager for another…
OP says
Thanks all, I really appreciate the kind comments. Health issues are indeed a factor for me, but I feel bad defaulting to that because I’m not infertile (that I know of) and having a second baby wouldn’t be life-threatening. But it would complicate a serious autoimmune disease that was triggered by my first pregnancy. I’d probably have to see a high-risk OB who would have to coordinate with my specialists as far as managing my disease and minimizing risks to me and the baby, and that’s not something I’m enthusiastic to do – even a super easy, uncomplicated pregnancy was hard enough! Of course, if I felt a burning desire for another baby, it’s something I would think about more seriously and have some detailed conversations about with my doctors. But I don’t, and so the health issues do make it easier to say we’re definitively one and done.
Anon at 2:21 this (“I hadn’t just wanted a child, I had wanted THIS child, and none other”) is exactly how I feel too! We had actually referred to her by name for years before I got pregnant (yeah, I know she could have been a boy – who we no doubt would have loved just the same – but we were both visualizing a girl) and when they put her on my chest it was like “Ok, ___’s here now, our family is finally complete.” That feeling has only gotten stronger as she’s grown up.
SC says
I’m stopping at one for various intertwined reasons (finances, complicated 1st pregnancy, lack of maternity leave or good benefits, Kiddo needing time and attention and outside resources that cost money). But, like you, I *could* have another child, and if I had that burning desire for another baby, I’d throw caution to the wind and have another. The bottom line is, I feel like my family is complete. That’s OK and not at all a reflection on my son.
AIMS says
Please remember that some people just like to talk. And some just like to create issues where none exist. I was ambivalent about having more than one, and before I got pregnant again, I got a lot of comments from people about it. Those same people then went on to comment about how I would manage with two when they found I was expecting again. Some people…
To give another example, my oldest just started “preschool” two mornings a week and two different people who made me feel like I was a neglectful a-hole because she’s been home both commented about how “she’s so young for school! Two days is a lot!” You can never avoid this sort of thing. Someone will always have a dumb opinion.
Anonymous says
Just had some amazing customer service at Old Navy/Gap. I ordered a big order and paid for overnight shipping to get some items ASAP for family pictures. After I placed the order, I realized I forgot to add something needed for pictures. I called to ask if I could add to the order. The woman placed a new order for the item, waived the overnight shipping fee, and extended the 30% promotion to the item even though it wouldn’t have otherwise qualified (without me asking). Yay!