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I love the simplicity of this heart necklace from Cloverpost. When I saw it up close, I wasn’t sold, but when I saw it on the 20.5″ chain it became more modern and of the moment.
I like the elongated heart shape with the shallow indentation and appreciate the restraint of the design. With the length being on the longer side, it would be nice layered with other gold necklaces, but I’d probably wear it solo as shown.
The necklace is available at Shopbop for $75. Heart Necklace
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
A Tuesday laugh for everyone: husband just got me a pair of fancy wireless headphones. I was wearing them while cleaning and set one down on the counter so I could talk to him. Less than 3 minutes later, the earbud wasn’t where I had left it.
I looked on the counter. I looked on the shelf. I went through the mail basket. I asked my 4 year old and he hadn’t seen my headphones. I ended up looking (effectively deep cleaning my kitchen) for 2 hours, with my husband helping for an hour. I was really upset at myself – I hadn’t even owned these 72 hours and one is missing??
Well, as a Hail Mary, I take the other earbud over to my 4 year old and ask him if he’s seen one of these. “Oh, that’s my Tracker!” Uhh… REALLY. Buddy, have you seen one?
“Oh, yeah! I took it into the car when daddy was moving the carseat and it fell on the floor where my carseat was yesterday.” He then took Daddy outside and GUESS WHAT WE FOUND. Yep.
Facepalm.
EP-er says
I’m so glad you found it! I know I would always be misplacing little things like that, too — little helpers! But on the bright side, cleaner kitchen?
No Face says
Are you all taking your kids to playgrounds? The playgrounds in my county are all closed, but I just learned that the parks in a neighboring county have been open all summer. Playgrounds are a mere 15 minutes away.
My little one is great about her mask and even in the Before Times I went to playgrounds at times when they were empty. Any thoughts?
Anon says
Yes. It’s amazing how just a little bit of climbing and jumping brightens my kids’ moods – I didn’t realize how much we’d missed them! I try not to go when very crowded, we all mostly wear masks (my kids may take theirs off after a while when they are wet or dirty, and we stay away from other kids), and I bring hand sanitizer
Anon says
We do empty/mostly empty playgrounds with masks and hand sanitizer and feel completely safe.
Anonymous says
+1 our kids are actually trained now that it’s the “next people’s turn” if another family shows up.
Anonymous says
Yes constantly since the day they opening in July. In urban NJ.
Anon says
We go to playgrounds if they are empty. I am not concerned about surfaces; I am concerned about breathing humans. If kiddo were better with her mask and there were just 1 or 2 other (masked) kids I would probably be fine too, but our neighborhood playgrounds are often deserted when we go at off hours so it makes it easy.
AwayEmily says
We are in a low-case area (upstate NY) and playgrounds have been open since mid-summer. We just started taking our kids last week and it has been AMAZING. they are so, so thrilled. We only let them play if there are no other kids, and do hand sanitizer afterwards. My 4yo is a thumb-sucker so she often wears a mask so she doesn’t accidentally suck her thumb mid-play (this was her idea!), but since we are the only ones there I don’t require masks otherwise.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Aww, fellow thumb-sucking 4 year old over here too! I know we need to encourage him to give this up at some point but I haven’t had the heart or desire to do so during Covid times. His dentist isn’t too concerned at this age, so that makes me feel better.
For OP, yes, we take our kids to playgrounds. A lot of our neighborhood ones are usually empty or sparsely populated when we go. When they’re empty, the kids don’t wear masks. When they’re more crowded, our 4 year old (and we) wears a mask. Hand sanitizer after as well.
Anonymous says
Yes. But if the number of cases in your county and the other are significantly different, I’d think twice. If they’re basically the same, I’d go.
Anonymous says
Yes, we are. My kids are great at moving away from others who get too close. At the bigger kids playground (nothing to do for kids under 3), it’s usually 50-100% mask wearing. At the younger kids playground (Aimed at the under-4 set), it’s more like 25-50% among the kids, but many adults do wear them.
It’s a wonderful dose of normalcy for us.
SC says
I will when it’s less hot out. NOLA summers are brutal, and we’ve usually spent summers at the pool or splash pad and avoided playgrounds. It’s still over 90 degrees here, but it might be bearable at least some days in October. I’m looking forward to returning to playgrounds. We’ll all wear masks.
buffybot says
In NYC here – playgrounds reopened in mid/late June. They are PACKED. I sent a friend a video of a Brooklyn playground over the weekend with a Stefon-style voiceover, since it’s clearly New York’s hottest club. The smaller kids are not wearing masks, although older kids and parents are. Cases remain low in NYC, so I think it’s giving good anecdotal support to the idea that outdoors socialization is fairly safe and that surfaces are not the concern we once thought they were. My kid is so much happier now that playgrounds are back on the table – we spent a lot of time in April and May poking muddy puddles and hiding in public park bushes, which I hope not to have to replicate this winter.
anon in nyc says
Also in NYC and would co-sign all of this. Parents are great with mask wearing, kids are ok depending on age. I too hope the playgrounds stay open through the winter (and daycare. Please stay open daycare).
Anonymous says
Yes, in Brooklyn and in upstate NY. I’ve generally avoided any water areas but otherwise haven’t been too strict about it. We wear masks and wash hands when we get home.
Spirograph says
Absolutely. We wear masks if anyone else is there, and bring hand sanitizer for use before and after (hygiene theater, imho, but the sign says to do it). I remind my kids to “give other people space,” but do not attempt to enforce social distancing unless another parent asks me to. We mostly go to our neighborhood playgrounds and I haven’t seen them truly crowded yet; usually there are just one or two other families.
Anon says
Yes. My family is extremely cautious – we haven’t been to a grocery store or restaurant since March – but we resumed playgrounds as soon as they opened in June. We hardly ever see any other people and it’s so good for my kid. (She was a finger sucker pre-Covid but we were able to teach her that she can’t suck her fingers until after we get home and wash hands. She’s been very good about it.)
No Face says
Thanks for the input. Mostly kicking myself for not checking earlier! The other county is less populated and has fewer cases, so we are good to go.
Cb says
My son is really interested in family photos and is asking about people who have passed on, in particular, my SIL in who passed earlier this year. They had met a few times and he has vague memories of riding on toy tractors but we haven’t figured out how to explain that she’s no longer with us. Any advice? Due to covid, we aren’t seeing any family so people are a bit abstract to him to begin with.
Anonymous says
Are you religious at all? All my advice centers around heaven and “going to live with Jesus”.
Cb says
We’re not, it would make it so much easier if we were.
Anonymous says
We are religious, and I don’t think it makes explaining death any easier. If anything, it’s more complicated. “Going to live with Jesus” is a very abstract concept to explain to a small child.
Anon says
Maybe not easier, but more comforting. We will see her again some day, etc. Regardless, little kids can often handle hard topics much better than we think, especially when it’s coming from a calm and trusted adult. I’ve been talking with my boys about death (and the afterlife we believe) since they were little (2 or 3); they’ve even been to a funeral.
Figure out how to put what you believe in kid terms and then tell him; if he’s sad that’s okay, you can be there with him as he processes and that’s an important lesson to learn early, too.
9:34 Anon says
Fair comment. I think in an effort not to traumatize kiddo, we’ve sort of oversold it, though. She thinks going to live with Jesus in heaven is no big deal. Folks who are more comfortable with their faith would be proud. I’m horrified.
Party Animal says
Have you seen Coco? It does a beautiful job of framing up this concept in a kid-friendly, non-religious way. Warning: it’s a major tearjerker for grownups.
FVNC says
My daughter asked about death when she was a little older than your son — I think she was around 4 — but it caught me off-guard. We are not religious and I used some strategies I read about on this s i te over the years, like being straight-forward about naming death (rather than “passing away” which could be confusing), that death happens when a body stops working, that we can’t visit the person but we can always talk about them and remember them. I also said that some people believe a person goes to heaven when they die, and we talked a little about that. Good luck, and I’m so sorry for your SIL’s passing.
Anonymous says
This is basically what we say. My sister had a full term still birth so unfortunately my kids have had to learn that while most people die after they get old and their bodies wear out. Sometimes other things happen and people die sooner. We are religious so we do talk about heaven but I also say that no one knows for sure what it is like and ask what they think it might be like.
Anonymous says
My kids have asked a few times. My oldest accepted more abstract answers. My now 4 y/o wants very concrete information.
We don’t have any current family that has recently died, but we talk a lot about their great-grandmas who are in their mid 90s and what happens when your body is too old/tired/sick/weary to keep you alive anymore. My 7 y/o’s BFF’s dog just died, so we talked about it again then.
We are not religious at all. We do talk a lot about how people we love live on forever in our hearts and memories even when their bodies aren’t here anymore.
anon. says
Yep – definitely discuss pets and other animals dying if you don’t have close relatives. We started with our son when he was 3 pointing out dead lizards or worms or whatever in the yard. Explaining death. He’s older now, and it’s still a hard concept. It’s a hard concept for adults! But definitely start small, be straightforward re: small things and bigger things become slightly easier.
Anonymous says
How old is your son? We were able to use pretty concrete descriptions of death from about age 3 on, that were met with acceptance and not a lot of fear- “so and so was very old and so her body stopped working,” etc.
Anne says
Here’s what we did: she’s dead and that dead means your body doesn’t work anymore and then we do not know what happens next – people believe different things. Some people like [name family member or friend] believe X [you go to heaven and are with your family etc.], other people like [family member or friend] believe Y [energy of the universe, reincarnation, live on in memories . . ], mommy believes [say what], daddy believes [say what], you get to decide what you believe. It went over well. She wanted to call my parents and asked them what they believed and so we did that.
Anonanonanon says
As somoene who has been a broke single mom before, I know what I’m about to say reeks of so much privilege it’s not even funny, but I can’t help it.
I really really really do not like having a nanny. It’s what we have chosen to do right now, because I’m immunosuppressed, but I DON’T LIKE IT. I dread even the most basic “we’d like for there to be less screen time during the day” conversations, but them I resent that I’m handing over half of my income to someone that isn’t doing what I want, which is unfair of me. It’s such a sellers market for nannies right now though, it took weeks and weeks to find this one. I hate having to interact with someone every time I emerge to use the bathroom. I just hate it. I never fantasized about having one, I know financially and in a pandemic it is a luxury but that makes it worse. Our childcare costs will now be at least $20,000 more for the upcoming year. We’re fortunate that we can swing that, of course, (lol never retiring looking forward to dropping dead at my desk at 80) and I’m so thankful that we can, but I just really do not like it.
PS thanks to whoever recommended blossom and root last week. I bought it and put it in a binder and talked about it with the nanny. Fingers crossed.
anon says
It’s OK; you don’t have to beat yourself up for not liking the nanny arrangement. It’s OK to recognize your privilege and still know deep-down that this arrangement is NOT your first choice. ((hugs)) If it makes you feel any better, I know full well that I would not like having a nanny. I could barely handle having a neighborhood sitter in the house this summer; the lack of privacy was so jarring. And this was a kid that I’ve known for several years and trust completely.
Anon says
maybe it is more that you do not like having a nanny during a pandemic when you are working from home? we actually love having a nanny! we’ve had ours for 2 years now and she is a lifesaver. in addition to taking wonderful care of our kids and teaching them things i didn’t realize they were ready to learn, she does their laundry, empties the dishwasher, sweeps/vacuums the floor (even though we never even asked her to do that), we do not allow screen time with the nanny during the day. she might show them a quick video on occasion, but never on the tv.
Anonanonanon says
I just don’t like having to manage a household employee. I dread the management-type conversations. I miss dropping her off somewhere and knowing their policies are their policies and I can like it or leave (within reason, of course)
AwayEmily says
plus one million. I would HATE this. My husband feels the same way. We feel very lucky that our daycare ended up reopening, but our Plan B was actually to cobble together a morning babysitter, time off work, and family care rather than get a nanny, for exactly those reasons. I have a friend who had similar issues (nanny was great, she just hated the managing) and she said it did get somewhat easier over time, though they only lasted a year before giving up.
Anonanonanon says
I keep telling myself this is only a year. If COVID is not significantly better in a year, we have to move on, whether I’m immunosuppressed or not. It’s around to stay regardless, I might as well get it while I’m young-ish. (Not to say I’m going to intentionally expose myself, but I also can’t keep my kids out of school forever if society is largely reopened)
Anon says
I think things will be better in a year. Hopefully there will be a vaccine, but even if not we will have much more herd immunity than we do now. It appears 15-20% of the US has probably had it in the first 6 months, that means by next summer (in the absence of a vaccine) we’re looking at up to 60% of people who’ve had it. Herd immunity will play a big role once that many people have been infected once. Hugs. I know what you mean about not being able to stay isolated forever (my elderly parents are the same way), but I do think things will be a lot better in a year due to some combo of vaccines, treatments and herd immunity.
AnonATL says
This is part of the reason I’m strongly favoring a small in home daycare for my son when I come back from maternity leave at 3months. I know having a nanny is safer in terms of exposure, depending on the nanny, but both the financial implications and managing an employee is not something I really want to do right now. My husband and I are luckily in the low risk group, but I am scared for my son.
Anonanonanon says
We had a small in-home daycare prior to this and loved it/the provider. It broke our hearts to leave, but she had ZERO precautions in place. To some extent I think precautions in that setting are futile, but my dealbreaker was that she was still letting parents come all the way inside to pick up their kids, stay to play with their kid, talk to the other kids, etc. and without masks. If she had started to do front porch handoffs or even just required masks and a quick exit, we’d probably still be there. She felt it was very important to allow parents to come in and see the evironment/their kid, which I get, but we had to part ways.
AnonATL says
Oh that would be a hard no for me too. Kinda defeats the purpose of only having a couple kids around if the parents can come and go freely.
Anonymous says
YMMV of course, but I think the front porch handoff is hygiene theater. If your kid is playing all day with someone else’s kid, that family is in your “germ bubble” and I don’t think the parents having a few minutes of direct contact with your kid is problematic. I certainly understand why daycare might be too risky for you, but this one particular element doesn’t add to the risk very much imo.
Anonanonanon says
This is a bit flawed from a public health perspective (and yes, I’m a professional).
I was more concerned about having direct contact with other parents who aren’t wearing masks. Pre-COVID, it was common for there to be at least one parent already inside the very small space when I got there. If the parents are prevented from interacting indoors directly and just our kids are, I’m the household contact of a contact of a household contact to the other parents, so there is a bit more buffer. If I’m seeing them face to face indoors and they’re maskless and we’re inside for 15 minutes because they’re taking their sweet time, I’m now a direct high-risk contact to that parent. Also, even if she brought my kid out for me, my kid is not a direct contact to all of those parents instead of an indirect. She would have definitely been within 6 ft of some of them for more than 15 minutes at least once a day.
There was also zero effort to reduce the number of shared toys etc. Totally her perogative, it’s her business to run, but I wasn’t on board.
Marshmallow says
I feel the same way. We had a small in-home daycare before the pandemic which I would have loved to stick with, but our provider moved. After doing the childcare/work from home shuffle for a couple of months, we found a nanny share with a neighbor family. I should be grateful we have childcare (and I am!) but I hate this arrangement.
We alternate weeks at each family’s house, and it’s just so tough when the nanny share is at our house. I want to be able to enjoy my daughter being close, saying hello throughout the day, etc., but she gets super clingy when she sees me and it’s hard to leave her without cuing tears. Even though it’s a share, it’s still more than what we were paying for the in-home daycare. And because it’s a share, we don’t have any of the other household benefits of a nanny: she cleans up after the kids’ meals but doesn’t do other cleaning, laundry, etc. One thing I’ve realized is I just don’t want to manage an employee in my personal life. I manage people and projects all day long at work and it’s exhausting, I don’t want to do it at home too.
It’s probably true that what I most dislike, though, is having a nanny NOW, as Anon at 10:03 said. Our nanny is lovely, our neighbors are lovely, and my daughter gets so excited when the nanny and the other little girl show up for the day. They go to the park, they play Play Doh, they do all this great stuff. I just don’t want to have to be in the house while they are doing it! In a perfect world, the nanny would show up or I would drop DD off at our neighbors’ house, I’d go to my beautiful private office and work without distraction, then pick up my happy kid at the end of the day. Alas.
Anonanonanon says
This. I’ve done a nanny share in the past one summer with another single mom, and I hated it. I’m the same as you, I manage people all day, I don’t want to have these conversations with a household employee.
My job got to telework fairly frequently before the pandemic, which is a huge part of why I never wanted a nanny.
Today’s need-to-have conversation: She texts me to come up and help with small things (Can you come show me how to close the blinds? Can you help kill this bug? Can you bring up chicken nuggets from the chest freezer? (daughter) is looking for (x random thing), do you know where it is?) and I need to remind her that she is a nanny, not a mother’s helper, and she needs to handle things just like she would if I weren’t in the house. Time to spend all day dreading doing that lol.
Anonymous says
I would just not answer those texts. You are working.
Anonymous says
You’re not alone in feeling this way about a nanny, these are exactly the reasons we switched to daycare. You can be glad that you’re able to take care of your health and still not be happy with the situation… this is the same mental gymnastics so many of us are doing right now with feeling fortunate to have income and our health, but still thinking 2020 kind of sucks.
Anon says
It’s ok to hate having a nanny. Managing another person is exhausting and unpleasant. We had a nanny when our daughter was a baby and I disliked the experience intensely.
Anonymous says
Any thoughts on long term disability insurance? My old job offered it, and since I’ve switched jobs I have to decide whether to keep paying for it on my own.
Leatty says
Highly recommend it unless you are independently wealthy. You never know when you might need it.
anonn says
+1 you are more likely to get injured or get a disease that keeps you from working that you are to die. way more important than life insurance. I used to pay for it privately now buy it through my new job. I’ve known a couple people who’ve had to use it and were very grateful they didn’t have to rely only on social security. I think short term is only needed if you don’t have an emergency fund, or know you’re going to need it for a surgery, baby etc. , but many employers provide it.
Realist says
I agree with this. This is also the reason it seems so expensive–because some people need it for a long time and the insurer might actually have to pay it out, so the product costs more than for things that have less risk for the insurer involved.
Anon says
We looked into it for my husband and it was surprisingly expensive at around $150 per month, if I recall correctly. It sounds like a good idea but we couldn’t fit that into our budget.
anon says
I have it through a professional association which got me better rates than what I was finding on my own. For me it was important to get “own profession” coverage. Everyone gets to do their own risk analysis, but long term coverage matters more to me than short term coverage at this point and affected our decision on where to spend the money (done growing my family, we could cover 3 months without my income, but not multiple years, etc)
Anon says
I have it (my dad has benefitted greatl from his policy).
For me, I knew I had my family taken care of if I died, so I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be a larger burden on them alive than dead. That said, I now get it for free from my employer.
A says
My six-year-old has always been a pretty decent sleeper, but things seem to have gone off the rails recently, and I’m close to losing my mind. She wakes up in the night between 2 and 4 and just…will not go back to sleep. This happens about once a week. She does not seem to be especially anxious, although life is weird for everyone right now and I expect she has internalized some of that. Any suggestions for encouraging her to go back to bed? We have been having her read/play quietly in her room so that my husband and I can at least rest, but that is only successful about 50% of the time.
DLC says
What is she wanting to do between 2-4am? Our eight year old and three year old still want to get into bed with us in the middle of the night on occasion. The rule we have now is that they are allowed to come into our room and sleep on the floor next to our bed, but they cannot wake us up. They will drag blanket and pillow up and make a nest in our room and we find them in the morning. Also if your daughter doesn’t seem to be suffering ill effects from her nocturnal habits, maybe just ignore it? Our older one also gets up and plays in the middle of the sometimes and we just let her do it. It’s only about once a week and she does eventually go back to bed or we find her asleep in the living room. I figure she’ll either grow out of it or we can give her other tactics when she’s older if she truly is a low sleep needs kid.
Leatty says
Thank you all for your kind words last week. It has been a rough few days, but It will get easier, and I have a lot to be thankful for.
Anon says
if you have young kids who you still carry/pick up a lot, how do you stop them from touching your mask? i keep reminding mine not to touch it, but inevitably sometimes they brush against it, do i just wash their hands right away? i guess if the idea is to treat the mask as if it is covered with covid, it makes me anxious to be holding my kids wearing one, but i don’t see another option?
Anonymous says
I don’t worry about this. I cannot spend my day with this level of anxiety.
anon says
+1
ElisaR says
agree
NYCer says
Agreed. It doesn’t even cross my mind.
Anon says
Agree. I do remind my 2 year old not to touch it, but mostly because I don’t want her to yank it off and leave me mask-less. It’s not “covered with COVID” any more than your clothes or hair are – do you worry about your kids touching those things?
Anon says
Not on my worry list.
Anon says
I don’t worry. Even I touch my mask forgetfully sometimes. The main point of a mask is to keep your own germs to yourself. I don’t act as though my mask is covered with Covid; I act as though it’s covered in my own germs. Why wouldn’t your hair or clothes or any other part of you also be covered in Covid, by that logic?
Anonymous says
The outside of your mask is covered in other people’s germs. The inside is covered in your own germs.
Anon says
Honest question: how is that different than your clothes?
Anonymous says
I always assumed there were more germs on the mask than on my clothes because it was filtering all the air I breathe, which is a lot more air than happens to come into contact with your clothes.
Anonymous says
Unless you’re wearing an N95, it is not significantly filtering the air your breathe in the sense that there’s a layer of germs trapped on the outside. If you walk through a cloud of someone else’s cough, the germs will be stuck with the little droplets, but still not really any dirtier than any other exposed skin or clothing except to the extent that your face is the same height as coughs in a way that your legs are not.
Anon says
No, this isn’t a thing. Your mask has no more Covid on it than your clothes or hair or any other part of your body. Clothes probably have more, actually. If you’re keeping a good distance from people, more of their respiratory droplets would fall on a lower part of your body because of gravity.
Spirograph says
Yes, but to the same extent the rest of your body is. And your kid’s body for, for that matter. This is why you should wash your hand frequently. I’d focus on the hand-washing and not spend too much energy on the losing battle of trying to get a small child not to touch [fill in literally ANYTHING here]
CCLA says
The degree to which this is true has to vary based on what you’re doing. Wearing the mask to an urgent care office visit? Yeah, it’s probably gross and should be handled with care. Wearing it on a neighborhood walk with the family and popping into starbucks for 2 minutes to grab a drink? Would not think twice about eating after touching the mask.
Anon says
then why does the CDC recommend against touching your own mask and to treat your mask like it is covered with paint
Marshmallow says
I mean, sure, in a perfect world. But that also means every outward-facing surface is “covered with paint,” right? Clothes, hair, whatever portion of skin isn’t covered by our mask. Do we all shower and change our clothes every time we come in from taking a walk? I certainly can’t live my life like that.
anon says
HELP. My daughter is turning 6 on Sunday and her birthday plans have been upended. We were supposed to have a small family gathering (outdoors) last weekend, but my dad was in the hospital so we canceled. He is thankfully doing better but I don’t feel good about trying to re-host something this weekend. He’s still pretty vulnerable to infection. Any great ideas for making it feel fun and special, even if we forgo the party? I will still make a cake and her favorite meal, but it seems kinda lame. :(
I am so over the many big and small disappointments of 2020.
Anonymous says
Was your dad going to be the only guest? It’s still a party even if it’s just your immediate family! There can still be balloons and crepe paper streamers. Can you rent a bounce house?
anon says
No, but my extended family is pretty tight and family parties are the norm. A bounce house might be fun; I may have to look into that.
Walnut says
Balloons! Party hats, a happy birthday sign and fun candles for the cake. Jazz up the gifts with extra ribbons and bows. Maybe wrap up a present and nest it in 2 or 3 boxes for extra enjoyment? Maybe eat cake and ice cream first, open gifts, play and then eat a favorite dinner last?
AwayEmily says
Can you go on a little adventure? A park you haven’t been to, with ice cream afterwards, or something like that?
SC says
My son turned 5 back in April. We spent a lot more money on gifts than we normally do (no party, lots of extra time at home). We let him open gifts right after breakfast, and he played with his new Lego set all day. Then we did favorite meal + Zoom with grandparents for cake.
Kiddo enjoyed his birthday. He got new toys, did what he wanted all day, had his favorite meal, had cake, and felt loved by his family. I also worried about it being “lame,” and Kiddo being disappointed, but the pandemic has taught me that my son (and probably, most kids) appreciate simple things.
Anonanonanon says
This was our experience with our older kid. He got more gifts than usual, got the cake he wanted, put up balloons and a sign and streamers, skyped grandparents, he was perfectly happy. I took the day off and regretted it because his gifts were books and video games so that’s what he wanted to do all day.
Anon says
i know someone who rented a bounce house just for her kid/immediate family and the kid actually ended up liking it better than a bday party bc she didn’t have to take turns. someone else i know had a food truck come by just for their family and said it wasn’t actually that expensive bc they are desperate for business. if your family is up for it, you could do a drive by party and ask people to decorate their cars or make signs. where we live yard signs or balloon numbers in the yard seems to be a thing. you could have ice cream sundaes for breakfast on her bday?
anon says
We rented an inflatable 16′ waterslide this past weekend for my 7 yo’s birthday with no other guests. My kids loved that there were no lines. They used it continuously from the time it was dropped off at 7:40 AM until it was picked up at 8:20 PM. We felt like we got our money worth and they slept like logs.
Clementine says
We did a cupcake parade. I made some (admittedly super cute, totally PInteresty) cupcakes and we packaged them in plastic cups and then dropped them (masked) off on our friends’ doorsteps (aka the kids on the block) and then rang the doorbell and stood back so they could come outside, pick up their cupcakes in a socially distanced way, and shout ‘happy birthday’.
I also know somebody who rented a bounce house for not that much and just had their kids + their neighbors’ kids play in it for HOURS.
LittleBigLaw says
We “camped” in our backyard when my oldest turned 5 early in the pandemic, and it was great! We played outside games and went for a “hike” around the neighborhood in the afternoon and then put up our beach tent and pulled out some blankets and the firepit from the patio for s’mores and hot dogs. She thought it was the coolest thing ever to sleep in the yard, even if we only stayed outside for about an hour and a half. Setup was super easy, and it didn’t feel like we were trying for a regular birthday party without all the people.
anon says
If there’s anyone who is looking for a carseat-safe coat for little OR big kids, let me throw out my recommendation for the Lands End primaloft jacket. I bought one for each kid and they rave about how soft and fluffy it is. And it’s not fluffy at all — it’s pretty darn flat and compressible IMO — but it has the channel quilting and seems very cozy. I wouldn’t use this for deep winter, but it’ll be great for late fall/early winter/early spring. It is very reasonably priced, especially on sale (and LE is running sales now).
FVNC says
Thanks for this! With the sale, it’s $37…I might have to give it a try. Any idea if it’s really water resistant?
anon says
Will report back after today. The kids are giving them a test run during a 45-degree rainy day. Mind you, it was 96 with stifling humidity on Sunday. Gotta love the Midwest.
anonamama says
excellent find!! also, Lands’ End code COMET gets 53% off – this has been higher than the usual 40%.
Anonymous says
I’m the one who posted last week about being unsure about taking kiddo to try on coats. I might have to order this and see what happens. Any comments on their sizing? Kiddo is tall and skinny. She’s between the 4 and 5/6 and will turn 5 next month. Go big seems to typically be the answer, but I don’t want cold air getting in becuase it is too wide. I’d rather she actually be warm than make sure I get a few years out of it. Does the waist have a cord?
Thank you!
anon says
One of my kids is tall and skinny, so I feel your pain. This does not have a cord around the waist. FWIW, my 5-year-old was borderline last year and fit into a size 4 LE coat from the year before. But she is average in height, and the sleeves were just barely long enough. She could’ve worn a 5 without much trouble. Knowing that your kid is tall, I’m not sure if the 4 will work. How about ordering both sizes and seeing which one works?
Anonymous says
Thanks! That’s probably what I’ll do. I was looking to see if there was an “OMG, they’re huge” or “OMG, they run so small” response. But it sounds like they’re true to size, and I should just order both. Thank you!
ElisaR says
i just read that they are re-launching golden girls with black actresses. that’s cool except when i realized the actresses cast are people i consider to be in my age range!!! Tracee Ellis Ross! Come on! They just had her having a baby on blackish not too long ago!
Anonymous says
It’s not a relaunch though? I think it’s just a one night thing.
ElisaR says
right
Anonymous says
Regina King is 49, Tracee Ellis Ross is 47, and Alfre Woodard is 67. None of them is remotely old enough to be a Golden Girl. Maybe Alfre Woodard if she plays 10 years older. Yet another example of how in Hollywood a woman can be either an ingenue or a little old lady, but nothing in between. Sigh.
anon says
Well, this is just depressing. :(
Anon says
Rue McClanahan was 50 when the OG GG came out. 50!
Anonymous says
Yeah, I think the originals were much younger than people realize. It aired at a time when everyone looked way older for their age than they do today. And the show might have tried to make them look even older. Sophia, obviously, as she was the youngest of them all!
Anonymous says
Jamilah Lamieux recently mentioned on an episode of Mom and Dad are Fighting that, in re-watching the Golden Girls, she was surprised how young they were in the first season. I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and Betty White and Bea Arthur were 63, Rue McClanahan was 51(!!!), and Estelle Getty was 62. So, none of them had reached 65, and their average age was 59.7. Regina King and Tracee Ellis Ross are younger, but Alfre Woodard is actually older.
I agree with your overall point of ingenue vs little old lady, but it’s not new.
Anonymous says
That was the 1980s, when 62-63 was close to retirement age. Only one of the four originals was under 62. Two-thirds of the new cast is under 50, and these days 73 is about the equivalent of 63 in the 1980s. No way around it–the new casting is much less age-appropriate than the original casting.
Anonymous says
I am 43. Does this mean that in four years I get to move in with a bunch of friends and have fun all the time?
DLC says
Yes! Why wait? Form a Golden Girls pod now!
I was having a conversation with my SIL this weekend about being middle aged (we are 42) and she said, “We can’t be middle aged- we still have young children!” I didn’t know whether to be was encouraged or sad.
Anonymous says
I just experienced two chemical pregnancies in a row. Essentially, I had positive pregnancy tests with progressively fainter test lines, then my periods started one week late. I have a call scheduled for my doctor later today, but just wanted to know if anyone has undergone anything similar? How did it turn out for you?
Anon says
I’m sorry. It could be a terrible coincidence – the sperm/egg was not healthy in both cases and the embryo couldn’t survive. One other possibility is that you have low progesterone, and your lining sheds too soon. Do you chart and know how many days is typical between ovulation and the start of your period? If 11-12+ progesterone is likely fine, but if shorter than that (or you often have spotting) it might be something to check.
Anonymous says
Thank you for your informative response. I was actually wondering about my progesterone levels. My period generally starts 13-14 days after ovulation, so I’m really hoping it is a terrible coincidence or something relatively easily treatable.
Anon says
Your age will play a role here, too. Regardless of your ovarian reserve (the # of eggs you have left, which declines with age for everyone, but you can be 20 and have “diminished ovarian reserve” or be 40 and have high ovarian reserve), everyone’s egg quality declines as they age. So whereas two chemical pregnancies at the age of 25 is more likely than not to be bad luck, statistically speaking, two chemical pregnancies at the age of 40 is more likely to just be math (because the % likelihood of a “normal” embryo that sticks around is significantly lower).
I haven’t experienced this personally, but we had to do IVF so I am full of info about eggs/egg quality/% likelihood of “normal” embryos/etc.
Anonymous says
I am 34, so age is most likely more of a factor. Thank you for your insight, it has definitely touched on a few more topics I can discuss with my doctor later today!
anon in nyc says
I experienced this recently (sort of). I had a chemical, conceived again the next month, and at the 8 week ultrasound found out it wasn’t developing. They did chromosomal analysis and it had a trisomy. When I followed up with an RE, her take was that it is mostly likely a bad egg since it was a random mutation (I also already have a child and just turned 36). Basically, I was told most likely bad luck and to try again. It sucks though.
Anonymous says
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!
Anon says
feeling kind of sad today with all the back to school pics. we made the decision to keep our two year old twins home with our nanny this year instead of starting them in preschool. we had been hoping to meet more people bc we are newish to our area and i know that even if we had sent them this year its not like i’d be meeting new people since parents can’t go into the classroom. i felt like we were finally making headway in making more friends here, but it was like one step forward, three hundred steps back to go covid
Anonymous says
Hugs. Having had twins, I can tell you this is 100% the right decision. I was off the first year with the twins, DH took the second year and then they went to daycare/preschool. They were home sick every month or two for the first year. It was a huge pain and that was pre-covid when they could go back right away if they didn’t have a fever etc. If I had my time back I definitely would have had a nanny for ages 2-3 and started preschool at age 3.
Spend time at playgrounds on the weekend. If you see people with kids around the same age, chat a bit and come back at the same time the next weekend.
OP says
thanks for validating our decision. playgrounds still aren’t open where we live. it’s just so lonely. and i know i should stop looking at social media but so many of our friends from other parts of life who live in other areas seem to have so many local friends/family to hangout with
Anon says
Hugs! If it makes you feel better we’re back in daycare and although it’s been wonderful for my kid, I don’t anticipate meeting any parents this entire year. The families in our daycare are (thankfully) cautious and it seems like no one is doing playdates or having birthday parties this whole year, and of course all the official school events are canceled. I say hi to other parents at drop-off and pick-up but there’s really no way to make a more meaningful connection than that. This was the year I was going to really try to make headway on meeting people locally by going to as many birthday parties as possible and then….covid hit and who knows when kids will have real birthday parties again :(
anonn says
I feel so awful for transplants right now, I’ve lived in the same city for 36 years and only seeing immediate family and my closest 3 or 4 friend couples. I’m bad about making new friends in regular times, but plan on changing that when this is over. My daughter is in daycare and I’ve not made any new friends, everyone drops off and leaves right away, and there are no events or kid birthday parties outside of school.
Anon says
I feel this. My 2.5 year old has been home with a nanny her whole life but was supposed to start preschool twice a week this fall. We are keeping her home because we have a new baby and we prioritize still being able to safely visit my 70 year old high-risk mom, who lives alone. It’s really hard and I’m feeling lots of mom guilt right now for keeping her home because I know how much she would have loved school, even though I feel like it’s the right option for our family. I’m sad that she’s missing out on the “normal” childhood milestone of starting school. I’m hopeful we can re-enroll her for the Spring or next Fall, at worst.
Jeffiner says
This weekend we tried to move my 5 year old from her carseat to a booster seat. I didn’t think the booster seat was that wide, but when we put it in the car it overshadows the passenger side buckle and we have to use the center buckle to fasten the seat belt (booster seat is in the passenger side seat). Is it safe to have it buckled like that? It also means that she can’t buckle herself in, or undo it herself. The booster seat is Graco, do I need a narrower one?
Anonymous says
I absolutely would not do this with the seatbelt. We had issues with the high-back booster blocking the buckle and ended up keeping our kid in the car seat straps until she was big enough for a backless booster.
CCLA says
i’m 99% sure that is not permitted. If you want to be certain I’d ask or search archives of car seats for the littles.
Mrs. Jones says
No it’s not safe.
Terrible Two SOS says
I feel like a tiny bit of a failure. DD is almost 2.5. We (inadvertently?) relied on daycare to help force some transitions (bottle to sippy cup, 2 naps to one, etc). She’s now with a nanny full time and it occurred to me that I have no idea when to do potty training. She also uses a pacifier for sleep only. She’s also still in her crib.
I just ordered a training seat and step stool for our toilet. She’s expressed some interest/curiosity and nanny is more than willing to tackle potty training with us, but what about the other stuff? She’s not going to be 5 and in her crib with her binky, right? Kidding… mostly.
She’s also insanely strong willed and every bit as much of terrible twos as you could imagine right now. (Where did my sweet child go??) The thought of reading a book right now about child behavior/development is laughable given we have zero – nay, negative – downtime right now given 2 WFH very full time jobs and said strong-headed 2YO. Any quick sound bites or blogs or books that are easy to digest as we think about implementing time outs, setting boundaries and consequences and all that fun stuff?
AwayEmily says
Honestly, I would just keep on doing what you’re doing and tackle (by which I mean Google or ask the amazing people on this board) about individual issues as they come up. Your daughter sounds like she’s on a totally normal track, mine was in a crib until 3.5 and still sucks her thumb at 4.5 (I wish she had a pacifier, that would be a much easier habit to break!). Many people on here (including me) like Janet Lansbury’s approach. She has a podcast that is pretty easy to listen to, and lots of sound-bitey blogposts on her blog. I often just google janet lansbury [annoying thing my kid is doing] and see what she has to say.
ElisaR says
I follow Janet Lansbury on FB and I like it because it’s about as much reading as I can handle right now…. her posts come up in my feed each day and it’s like a consistent dribble of information for me.
Also, it sounds like you’re doing great! 2.5 is a good age to start the potty training. We kept my son in his crib until he was 4 (although we did switch it to a toddler bed but only because we didn’t want to keep lifting him.) Crib as long as you can. I say this after having changed the full bed sheets 3x last week and thinking “ugh crib sheets are easier to swap out”. Giving up the paci can be tricky, I was able to sneak it away before they were 1 bc they weren’t too obsessed with it but I know that isn’t always the case. Either way, your child won’t be 10 yrs old with it so I think you’ll be ok!
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1 on Janet Lansbury. It’s not so much her techniques that I can use all the time (b/c trying to remain calm when two different children are screaming is not as easy as she makes it sound), but it’s the idea that children, especially little children, have many many emotions and it’s ok for them to express them. You’re not doing anything wrong when your kid tantrums, tests boundaries, screams, cries, doesn’t listen, etc. but you have every right to enforce boundaries to stop behavior and take time for yourself. I need that reminder because I can take things personally.
We did Oh Crap with our oldest at just under 2.5 and moved him out of a crib at around 2 but he was climbing out. My youngest is not climbing out so we’ll probably keep him in the crib closer to 3 if possible, and TBD on potty training.
Cate says
I think this is mostly a vent so please vent away (we are all feeling drained!), but fwiw if you’re looking for practical ideas on the first stuff you mentioned: our kids’ dentist told us to drop the paci by age four (we took my DS’s away at like 3 and it was fine, literally just tossed them and went on with our day – I was shocked at what a nonevent it turned out to be) and you should definitely keep her in her crib until she’s physically climbing out. You do not need to address either of those things!
You’re not behind on potty training – read Oh Crap if you want a book or google it for a cheatsheet. But if you think you might be ready to tackle it, pick a long weekend and go for it! You can do it! But potty training can be pretty draining so I’d probably suggest waiting until you have a bit more emotional bandwidth to go for it.
For discipline, that’s a whole other story. We’ve never followed a system and probably should have!
Anonanonanon says
This makes me feel a lot better, even though it wasn’t intended for me. Daycare had weaned our 2 y.o. from her paci but when COVID hit we let her have it back to get through the day and now she’s 2.5 and using it. I used one for way too long (Like, almost 5?) and my parents had to bribe me with a huge Christmas gift, but I turned out fine. My kids have narrow pallets (most of my family does) and need pallet expanders regardless, so I’m not too concerned about teeth. Hearing that I’m not a monster for letting her sleep with it at 2.5 makes me feel better.
Earlier poster says
Oh I hope you check on this comment again because to make you feel even better – we literally took him to the dentist at right around 2.5 hoping she’d tell him to drop it and then we’d be able to blame the dentist for taking it away. Instead she shrugged and said make him drop it by 4 – in front of DS!
We ended up taking it away earlier (our nanny did it actually) but definitely don’t feel bad about letting her sleep with it. Our oldest was a thumbsucker and that was a harder habit to break because we can’t just take away her thumb. She quit herself right around 4.5 though.
Anonymous says
Based on my personal experience with my older child, will not be moving my 2 year old out of his crib until we have a very compelling reason to do so. I am a little stymied on the paci issue as our older kid didn’t use one- but at this point in pandemic parenting, if it keeps him happy in his crib, we aren’t making any changes. Potty training – there are a million books and theories. If your child either wants to use the toilet or otherwise indicates is somewhat in control of things (hiding to poop for example) it might be time! My older one was indicating need to poop and had pooped on the toilet a few times, and was almost 3. Took 3 days with just a few accidents thereafter, but I do think he was totally not even conscious of peeing prior to that so I wouldn’t rely on voluntarily peeing in the potty as a readiness requirement!
Anonymous says
My child was the exact same at 2.5. We day trained her just before 3 for potty training. She wouldn’t poop on the potty until she was 4, but she always asked for a diaper when she needed to go, so no accidents. We complied becuase we were scared she’d hold it in and get constipated. We took away her paci (already had been for sleeping only for quite a while) at 3.75. Shortly thereafter, we moved her from her crib to a regular bed. At about 4.75 she started waking up dry at night on her own. After 2-3 weeks, we stopped having her wear pull ups for sleep.
I also worry about this, becuase I just am not one to read parenting books. I let my child’s pediatrician (and this board sometimes) tell me when to hit milestones. I don’t push until I know she is totally ready (which tends to make things easier overall). This is not scientific, but I (and usually DH) always just knew in our gut when it was time for this stuff. So trust your kiddo and your instincts. You’ll all be fine!
Anonymous says
You’re fine! You can outsource stuff to the nanny but my three all toilet trained just before age 3. Day and night trained at the same time and with minimal issues/accidents. Everyone I know that tried to train earlier had a harder process and night-training didn’t happen at the same time or until later on.
Mine stayed into their cribs age 4. Big kid bed is the 4th birthday present but a month before your 4th birthday the side of the crib comes off and you have to show that you can stay in the crib at evening/nighttime if you want your birthday bed. Zero issues with kids getting up after they were put to bed. At age 6 they can articulate to me that they remember the transition and they are still proud of themselves for staying in their beds.
Anonymous says
For time outs at that age we mostly did ‘if you can’t play nicely, you have to take a break from playing’ then 2 minute time out in crib with a book or two to look at.
Seconding comments on paci that as long as you drop it before age 4ish you’re likely fine. Our dentist wasn’t concerned until that age, especially when it was just for falling asleep at night vs. kids who have them all day long.
Anon says
Big Little Feelings on instagram is actually really helpful for quick soundbites/tactics. I also really liked the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. Yes it is a book, but I found it to be a super easy quick read. I think I read it before bed each night for like 10 minutes and was done in a week (i do happen to be a fast reader). i have 2 year old twins and i am slowly starting to talk about the potty, but i am not mentally ready to start with potty training so we aren’t. I’m thinking maybe in January we will attempt.
Anon says
My daughter is almost two and was only using a pacifier at night. We were so reluctant to take it away but one night we couldn’t find any so we went without. She didn’t notice and it has been a total non-issue ever since! Get your child excited bout stuffed animals or blankets or sit with them and sing them a song if they like that to distract from the missing pacifier at bedtime.
Anon says
I have a 2.5 year old too. We converted to a toddler bed recently because she was attempting to climb out, but if she’s happy in the crib I see no reason you have to transition at this age. We made a half-heartened potty training attempt during quarantine but it didn’t take so we’re just letting it be for now. I don’t really care if my kid potty trains on the early side, honestly diapers are more convenient and way less gross to me than repeated accidents so I’d rather wait until she’s more ready. We never used a pacifier but she’s a finger sucker. Thanks to COVID, we did teach her it’s something she can only do at home with clean hands and now she does it mostly at nap/nighttime but we’ve made no attempt to break her of the nighttime habit.
Long time lurker says
This is pretty much me on the potty training. 2.5 year old tried a few times and she will pee if she sits there long enough but it hasn’t really “taken”. I wanted to have daycare help with this and we haven’t sent her back yet. It’s too much to do when I am working. My husband is a temp stay at home dad and is struggling. We will just wait till later.
Mine climbed out of the crib repeatedly at 19 months and landed with a thud a few times. So we had to go toddler bed. And she dropped her nap recently. I wish she could be early with other things…
I took paci away at 18 months and two nights were bad and then it was over so can’t help with that.
Anon says
We also have an insanely strong-willed just turned 3YO. PT at 2.5 (Oh crap) was an epic disaster for us; it went much better at 3 (seriously – no tears, done in about a week, followed our own method where we basically took away diapers, gave her pretty undies and told her she had to go on the potty with candy rewards). So feel free to try, but if your kiddo digs in, highly recommend backing off and waiting a few months. Can’t help with the crib (mine climbed out at 17 months) or paci (mine never took one, despite how I would have given an arm for her to).
For discipline, we have good luck with the counting strategies from daniel tiger, the deep breathing exercises from Esme and Roy (just last night I was getting frustrated that kiddo was dawdling before bed and she turned around and said “deep breaths mommy now”). Aside from calming techniques for the inevitable meltdowns, we mainly use a backward count from 3 to 0 and if we get to 0 she gets a time out on the stairs for a few minutes. If we do a time out, we stand there with her, wait for her to stop crying, explain what the problem is, explain the resolution we want (e.g., Daddy told you to stop throwing food, you didn’t stop throwing food, No more throwing food, okay? Kiddo gives affirmative response, then we hug). At the beginning there were a lot of time outs, but these days I rarely make it past 2 unless she is really in a MOOD.
Anonymous says
My youngest turns 2 in June. She’s potty training now. I have older kids and there are plenty of kids still in pull-ups at 3/3.5.
My kids were all out of their cribs at 18 months. There are other kids we know who transitioned rona toddler bed at some point but didn’t go into a twin til K.
OP says
Going in, this was 2/3 rant and 1/3 looking for practical advice to start, but I’m endlessly appreciative of this little community. Thanks for the validation, and the judgment-free space to vent above all else. I basically feel like I’m doing everything in my life at 70% right now, from being a mom, to being a spouse, to being an employee, add IVF and a very ill relative and I’m. Just. Spent.
I love that she marches to her own drum, and tries to negotiate at every turn – it’s like she knows there’s a better deal out there for her, she’s just gotta shoot her shot… facepalm. She’s going to be a rockstar (anything and everything) later in life, and I wouldn’t change that for a hot second. Just need to get through this “phase”, which will inevitably be not a phase but a lifetime because those skills don’t get easier with age… don’t worry – this I already know (I know how to see myself in the mirror…).
Thanks, all. You’re swell.
Anon says
I have a strong-willed 2.5 year old too and I definitely recommend giving her as much control as you can. Obviously we have some limits like she can’t harm herself or others and she can’t damage others’ property, and we have a set schedule for things like bedtime, but beyond that we let her have a lot of choice in what she wears, does, eats, etc. It doesn’t mean we give in to every demand, eg., if we ask her what she wants to eat and she says banana and then we serve her a banana and she starts sobbing that she wants a bagel, we don’t backtrack and say “oh ok here’s a bagel.” We say “you asked for a banana, when you’re done with the banana then you can have something else.” But giving her more say in what happens to her does seem to help her behavior a lot.