Have You Ever Taken a Vacation Without Your Kids?
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Here’s a question: Have you ever taken a vacation without your kids, leaving them in the loving arms of some other caregiver? Do you and your partner make a habit of this (for example, three weeks every year!), or is it a rare, quick getaway — or would you never, ever take a vacation without your kids?
For my $.02, my parents have never taken a vacation without me, at least as far as I can remember. So my husband and I were really reluctant to leave the kids for more than a night, at least in the beginning. But it is a truth universally acknowledged that a new destination with kids is a trip, not a vacation, so we started to ponder whether vacationing by ourselves was a possibility. By the time my older son got to be around 5, we tried it for a few nights, driving a few hours to a fancyish bed and breakfast place. Not only did the kids survive just fine with the grandparents (even my youngest son!), it was amazingly restorative to both me and my husband, as well as to our relationship. (Always good to remember that you actually like each other, too!) So now, once a year, we try to go away for just a few days — we’ve found the Veterans Day holiday a prime time because the kids usually have school but my husband usually has the day off. That way, we can go for a Sunday–Tuesday kind of thing so the kids still have their regular school schedule on Monday and Tuesday and the grandparents don’t have to fill a long weekend day without additional support. (Last November we went to New Orleans for a few days… we have Auntie M’s wedding to attend in Lake Tahoe this August, though, so that may be our getaway for this year.)
How about you, readers — have you ever taken a vacation without your kids, or would you ever? Where have you gone; what did you do?
Stock photo via Stencil.
Yes! We’ve had 4 solo trips in the 19 months of baby’s life, though only two were “vacation.” First trip was 4 days away to a city in the continental U.S. when baby was 10.5 months old. My parents drove the 4 hours to our place to stay there. The second time baby stayed with my parents for 2 days after Christmas so we could pack for an upcoming move (13 months at this time). Third time, baby stayed with my parents for a week during said move–we loaded the truck, got to destination, unpacked, then I flew back to pick up baby (14 months at this time). Last week baby stayed with in-laws for 2 nights and my parents for 4 nights while we took a beach vacation (19 months old now). I recognize we are so fortunate to have two sets of grandparents that are thrilled to have the bonding time with their grandson, flexible enough to handle it (my parents are retired, in-laws were able to use holiday/vacation time), and completely trustworthy. These times have been so restorative for our relationship and our mental health, and I love that baby is building relationships with his grandparents. I think we will continue to do this a few times a year as long as the grandparents are willing and able.
we just booked a weekend in napa for our 10th anniversary. no local grandparents so we are hiring a babysitter for three days. not our normal MO (our daughter is almost 5) so we will not be doing this often. but i am already plotting the trips during sleep away camps.
Took a 5 day vacation to Mexico with my husband when my son was 9 months and my stepdaughter was 11. My mom and dad kept him and she was with her mom. It was super restorative for our marriage and ourselves and was great! I hated pumping on the trip (obviously) but it worked out.
9 day trip just after our youngest turned two. Will probably do a week next summer, when he’ll be four. Enthusiastic grandparents are certainly key.
DH and I have each gone on solo vacations with friends or family, but last time we went on a “real” vacation alone together was when I was pregnant with #2. We’ve a quick weekend away a couple other times, most recently last year. Both my and DH’s parents are divorced, and it’s a big ask for one person to deal with three kids 6 and younger for longer than a couple days. My mom is the most helpful and she’s said she’ll be happy to do it once they are all well and truly potty trained, so the end is in sight!
I did a long weekend with my mom and sister in Carmel for my 30th birthday when my son was 8 months. My husband and I also take about one trip together per year and my in-laws come stay with my son. We went to a destination wedding for 5 days when my son was 18 months, my husband and I went to NOLA with my sister and her husband when my son was 2 1/2 (in-laws again), and we took a trip for another wedding shortly after he turned 3.
My kid is 13 months. We did 4 days away for a wedding when he was 5 months (5 hour drive away) and also a week vacation in the Caribbean when he was 11 months. Pumping was a pain both times (both before to stock the freezer and during) but not enough to deter us from taking the trips. We’re planning a long weekend away in a few months for our anniversary (no more pumping!). We’re lucky to have two sets of grandparents locally (within 10-15 minutes) who can stay at our house with him or take him to their houses. Our nanny also worked her usual hours while the grandparents had work, so they only provided evening/weekend care. DH and I are both only children and were each often left with local grandparents while our parents vacationed alone or with their friends. We have strong bonds with our grandparents because of that special time so we’re now comfortable with the same arrangement for our son. He also sees his grandparents multiple times a week so wasn’t that concerned to be left with them for this last trip (don’t think he even noticed when he was 5 months).
Completely silly point, but if I can’t share this anonymously here….I know this may make me sound like a teenager, instead of the 40-something mom that I am, but a part of me is almost embarrassed that my parents would watch our child when we went off to a romantic bed and breakfast. Despite having a child, I’m still weirdly uncomfortable with my parents thinking that my H and I were going to go get it on. Ahem.
With H, no, with friends/solo, yes, for short trips. Mainly because we don’t have family around that would make it feasible,but also because we don’t have that much vacation time and our D loves to travel and I (mostly) like traveling with her, so we end up using the bulk of our vacation time traveling with her.
We’ll probably try for a weekend away locally in a year or so if we can get family to watch our D at our house, and she’s spending ~ 10 days without me this summer at my parents because of a minor child-care issue — so if that goes smoothly we may try to coordinate a similar grandparent holiday with a trip for us next year. It wasn’t possible this summer because of pre-existing vacation plans.
If we both had more vacation time and willing family, I’d definitely be up for it!
Nope. We don’t have the family support for this to happen anywhere near regularly. We are planning a week away in fall 2020 for our 15th anniversary. We’ve asked my in-laws to watch kiddo, and they’ve agreed. But they have a history of backing out of things, so we’ll be buying extra trip insurance. My parents just retired and basically moved half a continent away even thought they still have a property in our neighboring state. I’d like to look at a weekend away this fall if the stars align for us. But who knows. Kiddo will be 4 this fall.
We haven’t and have no plans to. My parents never did, so it wasn’t really something I ever really expected I would do. I would have had more interest in it when my daughter was a baby, I think. But my parents weren’t enthusiastic about watching an un-pottytrained child, so leaving her with them was a non-starter until she was almost 3, and by that point she was just so fun to be around and easy to travel with that DH and I both felt like vacations were more fun with her than without her. Perhaps my attitude will change when she’s a whiny teen but for now she’s a (mostly) adorable and fun kid who is independent enough that we can really relax, but still loves being around us, and this time feels really precious and fleeting in a way I didn’t entirely anticipate before I had a child.
We had originally talked about going back to our honeymoon destination for our 10 year anniversary next year without her (she’ll be 5.5) but have decided to all go instead. It probably won’t be as romantic (although we will have separate bedrooms), but I hope it will be an epic family adventure that we’ll all remember for the rest of our lives. I think there’s something sweet about returning to our special honeymoon destination with our now-complete family (well, minus the dog :P). And hopefully we’ll make it to 25 years and have the chance to go back alone again.
So far just for a wedding, and another time when we each had separate events in the city we were attending and staying over for. You definitely do need to have capable family to pull this off, although once my parents left me with a family friend when I was older and they were away. They also sent me to my cousins’ house a couple times as a child, which I could see potentially doing with my brother- and sister-in-law (maybe trading weeks with each other to give the other couple a vacation).
We haven’t had a couples-only vacation since … 2013? I really miss traveling alone with DH, but we do not have the family support to make it happen. In-laws absolutely can’t handle two kids for more than a few hours at a time, either physically or emotionally, and my parents are grandparents to 10 kids and just don’t want to.
I have been on a few solo vacations with my sisters, which have been lifegiving. DH has an annual trip with his college friends. I’d like to make it a priority to have my own solo vacation every year, but finding the travel partner can be tough. Sisters both have babies right now and not many of my friends are up for leaving their kids.
We’ve done one night away from our 2 year old twice, both within an hour drive of our house. I’m definitely not comfortable being a plane ride away from her (not sure I ever will be until she’s like an adult). I’d love to do a weekend away, but with number two on the way I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Definitely in favor of sending the kids to sleep away camp eventually and DH and I can take time off that week to be alone, even if it’s in our house! My parents did parent-only trips about every 5 years growing up and it was good for their marriage.
My family is super awesome and watch our kids, so we can go for a week vacation once a year. We are headed to Paris this year. Very lucky to have them