Accessory Tuesday: Freshwater Culture Pearl Necklace
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Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine’s Day!):
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
- J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
- Rothy’s – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Last night I was really thinking about the comments everyone wrote (outsourcing more, getting more childcare, etc.) and feeling like I had a solid plan for conquering this week.
AAAND then my MIL (who is lovely) calls. Husband’s quirky aunt is apparently in town, has been helping my BIL and SIL for a week with their little kids and they want me to come with the kids for dinner. So tomorrow I’m picking up the kids from daycare, driving the hour in rush hour traffic to my in-laws’ house, eating dinner and making sure Quirky Aunt’s demonic lapdog doesn’t bite the kids, and figuring out how the heck my dog is going to get walked and cared for.
WHY DID I AGREE?? Answer: because there is no way for me to gracefully say ‘are you out of your mind? I need time to myself!’
Super personal, but my husband and I have really open honest conversation about intimacy and gardening etc. It’s greatly improved our gardening life post kids and we have a great marriage. Two things that he’s been honest with me about that are hard are the following and I’m curious if your spouses would be the same way or what you think
1) he thinks about other women (no one person but just attractive women) when he mbates, not that he never thinks about me but that it’s nice to think about other women too. He says there’s a huge difference between it being attractive and acting on it and he would never act on it because of how much it would hurt me and that our marriage and life is too good to mess up by acting on it.
2) if I had no interest in any form of intimacy for months or years, he might cheat on me. He says its so hard to even imagine but that he also can’t imagine not gardening for a prolonged period. This is harder to accept like what if I had a debilitating illness where I couldn’t, would he cheat on me? I can’t imagine cheating on him under any circumstance but I know gardening is different for men and women? I don’t know.
Thanks again for any thoughts.
Anyone want to help me shop for my 2.5 year old boy? We’ve been invited to a family friendly work event, and the invite says cocktail attire (I think it’s supposed to be a fun dress up event geared primarily for older kids like our 7 year old). Given that we don’t go to many weddings, special events or what not, I’d rather not spend money on an outfit my son is only going to wear once. Any ideas on how I can get him to “cocktail” attire level with pieces he might wear again? Bonus if I can order it on amazon for this weekend!
Today’s thread on vacations and a few over things going on lately have me in full-on grandparent envy mode. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only parent on earth who doesn’t have at least one grandparent involved who is willing and able to keep their kids on occasion, even if they live far away and travel is involved to get to them. Anyone else going it alone in this respect?
Each year before school starts I buy my son a new backpack from P*B*n. The quality seems to have gone down recently and the prices certainly haven’t. He is really hard on his stuff and I would like to buy something that will last through a whole school year. Does anyone have recommendations for cute, sturdy backpacks for elementary school kids?
Looking for advice about mat leave. I’m a new partner in a mid-size firm in the midwest. We have very few women partners and the ones who have kids all had them at a different firm before moving here, so I’m in uncharted territory.
Our mat leave policy was 12 weeks but I just learned it’s changing to 16 weeks full pay for c sections, and I’m scheduled for a c section in 2 weeks. Up to now, I had just been contemplating a 12-week leave and I don’t know what to think. Do I take 16 now? My practice group is already a bit thin so I’m already worried about coverage for my clients during leave and that makes me hesitate to take a longer one. This is our second (and last) kid though. Fwiw, I took 12 weeks with our first. Thoughts?
I would like to vent/feel sorry for myself for a moment and it probably won’t be a popular vent but here goes.
I do not have a graduate degree. I have made it to six figures without one and am very highly-regarded in my field. I am fortunate that my undergrad degree is from a prestigious university, but then life (aka an unplanned pregnancy) happened and I never finished my graduate degree. I started, but I was a single mom at the time paying out-of-pocket and when I got a job in my dream career I stopped paying for it. They weren’t going to promote me or give me a raise if I finished, so it didn’t make financial sense.
It has never been an issue until now. I’ve suddenly hit a wall. I got my current job through networking and my boss let it slip that she probably wouldn’t have hired me if she knew I didn’t have my graduate degree. That was so frustrating to hear, because I’m consistently told I’m the highest-performing employee and was even promoted to Director of our organization (reporting to Executive Director) in less than a year. I was approached to be an adjunct professor for a graduate program because they wanted people who actually work in our rare field, and then, of course, was not eligible because I don’t have a graduate degree (which makes sense in that context) but was still asked to guest lecture and mentor. Again, it feels a bit like a piece of paper is standing in my way.
Anyway, it’s become clear to me that I need to prioritize getting a graduate degree, but it is frustrating to hear that it’s suddenly such a barrier despite all that I have proven and accomplished without one. Between raising two children and holding a Director-level position (obviously more than 40 hours a week) I’m going to have to do the degree with a concentration in my field just to make it easier to get through, which also feels like a waste. In an ideal world, I would diversify, but I don’t have time to learn something new. I’m 32, so now’s as good a time as any.
Anyway, I know I need to do this and it’s the standard now, but it’s just not how I would like to spend my money. Sigh.
Pretty sure I’m pregnant with #2 and am feeling much more panicky and anxious about it than I expected. I was firmly on the singleton train for awhile, but in recent months started to change my tune and decided to give it a shot, and did not expect it to happen so quickly, if at all. I think there was a similar thread on this in recent weeks but I can’t find it, so just posting for advice, words of wisdom, commiseration, etc.
I like this pick! I’m biased because I have a very similar necklace that I got when I visited a pearl farm in SE Asia on vacation years ago. I wear it a lot, because it goes with everything from dressy to casual, and reminds me of a great trip.
Has anyone ever dealt with overfeeding a baby at daycare? I love our daycare otherwise but the teachers are always pushing for me to send bigger bottles – and they tend to encourage my son to finish his bottle even when he is acting like he’s done. He is already really chunky and his weight is way out of proportion to his height on the charts.
I’ve tried to talk to his teachers about it, but I come away feeling horrible, like they think I want my kid to be hungry. That’s the last thing I want, of course – but I also don’t want him eating more than he wants/needs.
How do moms of babies and toddlers get information about kids’ development and what they’re supposed to be doing when? I’m not that into books because I don’t want to stress about LO’s development and want him to do things when he’s ready. I also don’t have a lot of mom friends because I work full time. When I occasionally get together with similar aged kids I’m sometimes surprised that LO isn’t doing the same things or, for example, that I’m supposed to be teaching LO to drink from a straw and move away from the bottle. How do most people know what to teach them and make sure they’re on track (whatever that means)?
Our new one-year-old has been the chillest, easiest baby, and has turned into a hysterical, tantruming mess over the past week. He just started daycare, had his well child appointment (with shots and blood draw), and is getting his molars. I know all of these things can result in extra fussiness, but it is like a switch has flipped. Any suggestions on getting through this? Our mornings and evenings have been completely consumed by wailing, and he is refusing to sit in his high chair and screams basically any time we’re not holding him. We are also going on a nine hour road trip next week and are worried it’s going to be miserable. I don’t remember things being quite this intense with my first, although I could have repressed this stage!
I finally got the courage to talk to my therapist and then my doctor about something I’ve been experiencing for a while, low gardening drive (getting lower despite me trying) combined with heightened irritability. I’m going in for a blood test tomorrow. I feel scared, because while I’m doing something about it finally, what if there isn’t any way to fix what is broken? I just feel scared and I feel awful because it’s making me a bad partner to my spouse, who has been very understanding. I guess just asking for good vibes.
Kind of just venting this morning, but if anyone has any advice…
I’m in my mid- to late thirties and trying to figure out what I want from my working life. I have worked in journalism and publishing and recently made what I hoped was a career change into coding and software development. It’s been kind of a mixed bag. I like my coworkers and I can do the work, but my manager moved me into a position where I’m not actively developing and more using my old job skills. There doesn’t appear to be a clear path up or out of this position and I don’t want to work in it the rest of my working life. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of positions like the one I thought I was taking and frankly I’d like to make more money anyway. I’m taking a class in a more advanced language to try getting into “regular” software development, but with a two-year-old at home, it’s hard and I’m realizing the one class probably won’t be enough to get a position I want.
I realize I’m getting to the age where I’m probably not going to reach the top of my field and I’m coming to terms with that. But I’m not sure whether to continue investing in this field, which could take a while to pay off or switch careers yet again, and if so, to what.
My 23 month old asked to take off his nappy and sit on the potty this am. I should be happy but honestly, I’m super stressed (got a telling off from the dentist for my severe TMJ) and just can’t cope with another thing. Will we miss the window of interest if we push it another few months? What’s the one potty training book to read?
He’s in cloth so he’s very aware of wet and poo and asks to be changed immediately.