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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 78 Comments · by

Washable Wednesday: Ponte Dress

Everyone· Machine-Washable Work Clothes· Recent Recs |

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Ponte Work Dress: Halogen Ponte DressWe just did a major roundup of work dresses over at Corporette on Monday, including a ton of washable sheath dresses. One of the most affordable options was this cute, sleeved, machine washable dress from Halogen — with the minor caveat that it has an exposed back zipper. If you can forgive that, though, it’s a great deal — it was $98, but is marked to $41, with several sizes left. Halogen Ponte Dress Here’s a plus-size option. (L-3)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

Comments

  1. packable pregnancy lunches says

    I feel slightly ridiculous asking this, but I feel like I am out of ideas. I was pretty sick for the first 5 months of pregnancy, so I was very forgiving with myself buying something to eat when I wanted it, whatever it was. But now that I am able to eat more regular meals, I need to slow my roll with eating lunch out every day for $$ reasons. I feel like I’m pretty good on snacks (I’ve got trail mix, nuts, cheese, crackers, granola bars, etc) but I am just blanking on what I can pack for lunches. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn’t go too far, pasta isn’t working the best because the tomato sauce is too acidic, salads don’t keep me full enough, chicken tastes gross to me – I feel like I spend so much time figuring out what to eat, and it’s hard to anticipate that in the morning when I’m packing for lunch. Going out has worked because I can think, “That sounds doable” or “That sounds gross, I don’t want that.” Any good suggestions on what I can pack for a more substantial lunch without continually breaking the bank on going out?

    • Anonymous says

      1. What are you buying when you eat out? Can you pick up frozen versions of that from your grocery store for $4/each instead of $10/each buying the hot meal?
      2. Cook a meatloaf and a TON of roasted veggies, pack into 5 tupperware containers, and just don’t think about it.
      3. Easy mac.
      4. Bring avocados, apples, tomatoes, pears, grapes and snack on those too.
      5. Stop putting tomato sauce on your pasta! Try olive oil + spices, or alfredo sauce, or pesto sauce, or v0dka sauce, or butter + parmesan cheese!

    • JJ says

      Not ridiculous at all.

      If you can swing it, I prep something on Sunday that will usually get me 203 lunches during the week. I buy a bunch of veggies, chicken sausages from Trader Joe’s (or something similar), and some grain: either farro, brown rice, quinoa, etc. Usually in one of those 90-second microwavable bags. I saute the veggies and chicken, mix with the grain, and add either tomatoes, olive oil, or cheese while it’s hot and portion into containers. You can mix and match any seasonings that you want. Sometimes I do a Tex-Mex version with black beans, cilantro, and corn. Sometimes it’s more Thai or Japanese flavored – it just depends on what I have one hand.

    • Anonymous says

      Do you make dinner at night? Why not just make 2x (or 4x…) the amount and eat leftovers? This is what I do pretty much every day. Saves time and money.

        • packable pregnancy lunches says

          Oftentimes for dinner I am piecing together whatever I feel like I can eat. It’s not easy to do that at work without a full kitchen. I guess I can try planning ahead more but it’s so hard to tell what I’m going to be able to eat in the moment.

          • Anonymous says

            Oof. Sorry, I probably sounded like a jerk in my comment. That’s a tough one. Crackers or toast with peanut butter, cream cheese or avocado were generally pretty easy for me to handle. Also, hard boiled eggs if you can deal with them? You can make 5 in a weekend and eat one every day?

    • Clementine says

      What sounds good to you? After a few months where I considered ‘saltine crackers’ and ‘saltine crackers with butter’ as two distinct meal choices in my rotation of 5 meals, I was overjoyed to introduce some variety to me. Ideas (that are just good in general):

      Tortellini or other pasta with butter/oil and parmesan cheese
      TJ’s frozen mac and cheese
      If you have a toaster- toast/english muffin/waffle with peanut butter with a side of fruit salad
      Veggie-heavy fried rice (Tj’s soycatash plus frozen veg plus ti’s frozen fried veg rice is what I do)
      Hard boiled eggs?
      Plain greek yogurt with fruit and granola (I put in frozen fruit and it semi-thaws by lunch but keeps everything cold and delicious)
      Baked potato or sweet potato in the microwave (you can semi-cook at home or cook all the way at work) with broccoli/cheese/plain yogurt/salt/whatever sounds appealing to you.
      I went through a phase where I ate a lot of beans and rice with no tomatoes in it. High fiber, very satiating but really healthy.

    • MDMom says

      Pasta with pesto? Egg salad sandwiches? Can you add more protein to your salads- eggs, cheese, beans, nuts etc.

    • anon says

      I had two trimesters of morning sickness and three of extreme aversions, so I definitely put a lot of thought into this. A lot of what people have suggested wouldn’t have worked for me because of strong flavors/smells. What worked for me might not work for you, but I found the following things more or less reliable: rice cakes with peanut butter; chicken salad (even when pieces of chicken were unthinkable) on wholegrain crackers; plain pasta with parmesan cheese (with or without peas); yogurt; avocado toast; crackers/cheese or crackers with melted cheese; toast pizza (toast/tomato/cheese zapped in microwave). I wasn’t having a big lunch, though, just a lot of small meals throughout the day. As you can see, vegetables weren’t really a part of my pregnancy diet.

      • packable pregnancy lunches says

        Yes, that is me. It is so hard to have to think about random small things to eat instead of just making a dinner and eating the leftovers, which is my normal (non preg) approach.

        • anon says

          honestly, I found it exhausting to have to think so hard about what I was going to eat and also to have to eat so frequently (I am not normally a snacker). It got better within an hour of delivery. So there’s that!

          • packable pregnancy lunches says

            Yes, that is the worst part! I am constantly thinking about what can I eat, how can I get it, will this make me sick, how much can I eat without feeling nauseous afterwards…ugh! Even though I know it, it’s so good to be reminded it gets better. Only three more months.

        • hoola hoopa says

          I too suffered from nausea and food aversions throughout. I packed a lot of snacks and ate them all day. What didn’t sound good one day, I’d save for the next.

          Yogurt and cottage cheese worked well for me. Soy milk. Grapefruit. Avocados.

    • NewMomAnon says

      I keep lunch options in my office so I can pick what sounds good on any given day. Target sells these boxed lunches that have crackers, spreadable cheese (not much flavor), sausage, a trail mix variety, and a dessert. I think they are called Picnic To Go? You can order them on Amazon too. I stash some of those, some of the pasta meals that you add water and heat in the microwave, rice cakes, peanut butter, granola bars, clementines, and the single serve oatmeal cups. While pregnant, I also kept yogurt and milk in the office fridge, and kept a box of cereal in my office so I could have a bland lunch if I needed it.

      • HSAL says

        They’re Go Picnics. I’m a big fan. They have several varieties. I haven’t tried the sausage one, but I like the sunbutter and the black bean hummus. They’re nice because you can just snack on the various components depending on how you’re feeling at the time.

    • packable pregnancy lunches says

      Thank you so much, everyone – these are all good suggestions and I think I’ll just try to stock up on a variety and see what works.

      • Pogo says

        I would definitely keep lots of non-perishable snacks on hand (pumpkin seeds, trail mix, dried fruit, etc) and snack on whatever doesn’t gag you on a particular day.

        Do you like bagels? You can make a bagel sandwich with hummus, cheddar and spinach. I would also second what someone said about doing cereal or yogurt/granola with fruit. It doesn’t matter that it’s not a traditional lunch food if it’s cheap and you can tolerate it.

    • Anonymous says

      I’m 8 weeks and nauseous/lots of aversions. I just ate a frozen Amy’s Broccoli and Cheddar Pasta Bake Bowl that avoided all my don’t-go-there pregnancy buttons and actually tasted really good, which hasn’t happened in a long time. As in, next weekend at the grocery store I want to buy 10 of them. The Amy’s bowl meals (I also like the mexican casserole enchilada bowl) are about 400 calories, have a decent amount of fat and protein to keep me full, aren’t too smelly unless you get the curry ones, and are about $4-5.

      Some days I do what NewMomAnon does and graze all day rather than having a specific lunch meal because I feel less sick that way. I hate Greek yogurt plain, but I mixed it with some shredded cucumber, salt, and olive oil (no garlic) to make tzatziki, and I dip crackers or pita and sometimes veggies into it. I eat a whole Greek yogurt that way over the course of the day, but because it’s “dip” it doesn’t make my mouth feel like it’s been spackled. I also eat a lot of string cheese/Babybel cheese, graham crackers with peanut butter, cut up fruit (I gave in and started paying for the giant fruit salad bowl at the grocery store, it is SO WORTH IT), pretzel rolls, roasted salted nuts…on any given day I don’t eat everything that I brought because some of it seems gross (the strained icelandic yogurt in my lunch bag is definitely *not* going to happen today), but I always have enough to get to 5pm without crashing. A mini fridge in your office might help keep some of these things stocked.

      • SC says

        Word of advice – don’t buy 10 of anything at the grocery store if you’re pregnant and having food aversions. It’s ridiculous how quickly what tastes good can change :-)

    • Anonymous says

      One of my staples was rice bowls of some kind. I wasn’t big on meat while I was pregnant, so I ate a lot of canned beans and chickpeas. One of my favourites was brown rice, cherry tomatoes and maybe some other kind of veg, feta cheese and canned black beans.

    • anon says

      I was queasy for 36 out of my 42 weeks and am still bitter about it. I found room temperature or cold foods easier to handle than warm, and noodles with peanut sauce was particularly appealing. Also penne vodka. And cereal for dinner, which could easily be done for lunch. Also, I ate a ton of Doritos. And combos. It was a dark time, nutritionally speaking.

    • SC says

      I can commiserate. I had food aversions through all 3 trimesters. I never really liked any food while pregnant, but things I didn’t hate included avocado on toast, vegetarian burritos (on a good day), grilled cheese, peanut butter and jelly, fried rice, and pasta dishes that don’t have tomato sauce like vegetarian pad thai or ravioli with cream sauce. Honestly, though, I mostly kept going out to lunch even though it’s more expensive. We saved a lot of money when I was pregnant since I did not want to go to restaurants, did not eat meat, and did not drink alcohol or caffeine.

  2. EP-er says

    Can I just say how much I hate my post-pregnancy hair? My hair was never a problem — it was mostly straight, but not stick straight. I would hold a nice looking curl if I wanted to go that way, but I could always wash at night and wake up with presentable hair. Totally low maintenance, which is my style these days. After my second (not first) child, my hair is horrible. It is thinner and frizzy and I have waves/ringlets! But only on the 20% of my hair by the nape of my neck. It dries crazy when I let it air dry or sleep wet. So my low maintenance hair is gone, just when I don’t have time to spend on it. I can curl it or blow dry it straight….or mostly pull it back into a clip.

    • Samesie says

      Get yourself to your hair stylist or another hair stylist recommended/trusted and tell them about your issues. I had the same problem with my hair post-pregnancy and ultimately needed to change my cut a bit and get some styling help. Long story short, it involves air drying with scrunching at night, and then evening out/adding some pieces with a curling iron in the morning.

      • MomAnon4This says

        A good cut will help this.
        Also, I know this sounds dumb, but I clicked on a few “new ways to air dry your hair” slideshows or pinterest pins and they really helped! Like, if I air-dry or sleep on my hair pulled up (after I’ve washed it at night) then in the morning there’s more volume at the crown, stuff like that.
        So, some advice, and a lot of empathy.

    • EP-er says

      Thanks for the commiseration! I was having a particularly bad hair day today. I did talk to my stylist, who changed my cut a bit & recommended a product, but her solution involves the hairdryer. (Straightening products need the heat to work, she said.) Although to be fair, getting my hair cut more regularly would probably help, too…

      I’m totally checking out “new ways to air dry” hair next!

  3. Frozen Peach says

    Two things– one, I am once again a daily Corporette reader after having a kid and a job change– I missed you ladies! You are amazing. This is such a great community.

    Second, we are approaching LO’s first birthday, and despite my best efforts, we’re going to have at least 30 people (just family and close close like-family friends) for her birthday party, almost all adults or older kids. My plan is to order a bunch of pizzas and a fruit tray, because I really do not want this to turn into a hosting ordeal, but I am asking for all your 1st birthday wisdom. What worked for you? What didn’t? What are your pro tips?

    • MomAnon4This says

      Sounds perfect. We are having it at the free picnic tables at the park. Same menu, with cake. Provide bottled water, also. Go to Costco and pick up a ton of bottled water. Everyone gets water. Get balloons. You’re done decorating. Paper towels. Napkins or paper towels (no one will care).

      Get someone else to take pictures. I didn’t do that and wish that I had. That’s my only regret.

    • In House Lobbyist says

      Let everyone bring something that asks – cookies, extra drinks, chips and dip. I always want to do it all myself so I should take this advice too. And we always do family parties for the little ones so they turn out to be bigger than the parties where we just invite school friends. We usually do burgers because my husband likes to grill.

    • TK says

      Make family help, if they have time.

      And if you can swing it, don’t open gifts while people are there. With a group that size it could take forever, and 1 year old will get bored. Or don’t ask for gifts (but say a gracious thank you to grandparents who ignore your request).

    • Anon in NYC says

      Ha – I was going to post something similar today! We’re looking at ~40 people (adults + kids) and that’s after making cuts. I think we’re going to do sandwiches, fruit, cheese, and cake, plus drinks. I thought about pizza, but I figured room temp food is easier for us.

      • blue says

        We did 6 foot heroes for the room temperature factor, which my dad picked up and brought to our house. My mom made a big green salad and a tray of baked ziti. My MIL brought the cake. It takes a village.

  4. Anonymous says

    I’m having a minor procedure on my foot that is going to make it painful to walk for a few days to a week. Any tips on how to deal with limited mobility and two very active little kids (1 and 3) for a short period of time? Aside from having husband and grandparents deal with everything, that is. We don’t normally do much screen time, but I could probably hang out with my 3-yo in front of the TV for a few hours during the weekend.

    • Meg Murry says

      Not to be obnoxious, but I’m going to play the “what would your husband do?” card. If the answer is “have you and grandparents deal with everything”, consider that anecdata and do that. I would encourage H and grandparents to take the kids out of the house as much as possible on the weekends and leave me to put my foot up in peace. Since this is a one-off, I’d say just acknowledge that you aren’t going to be able to be much help (maybe prep some freezer meals or “dump everything from this ziploc into the crock pot” meals if you want to do some pre-prep, make sure there is enough clean laundry to last the week, etc) and call in the reserves and pull out the back up plans like ordering takeout or using paper plates. What other things are usually “yours” like daycare dropoff or pickup and who can you call in for assistance (either family or paid babysitters?)

      If you want to join them out of the house for a little while, or the idea of sitting on the couch makes you stir crazy, what about renting a knee scooter?

      FWIW, my 3 year old would at least kind of get “the doctor says mommy has to stay in the chair and not walk on her foot. Can you bring me a book for us to read?” or “let’s sit here on the floor and play duplos” or “no, I can’t push you on the swing but I can watch you ride your tricycle”

      • Anonymous says

        Thanks… I hadn’t even considered a knee scooter rental. I think the situation would be about the same if it were my husband, and to be fair to him, he and the grandparents will be stepping in for everything I can’t do. I’m also just sort of kicking myself for not having things in better order ahead of having this procedure on Friday. Ah well, life…

        • Meg Murry says

          Oh, I’m not husband bashing here. It’s more of a “check your expectations, don’t hold yourself to a higher standard than you’d hold others” reminder. I’ve just seen far too many women try to be superwomen and help keep things running and then wind up dragging out their recovery way too long or re-injuring themselves by being active too soon.

      • Lyssa says

        Agree on the kid understanding – my then 2.5 year old was really good about understanding that “mommy has a boo-boo and can’t pick you up” after my c-section. He would still ask, but then he’d usually remind himself.

        • Maddie Ross says

          This. I had shoulder surgery last summer and my then 2 y.o. understood I couldn’t pick her up – I could snuggle on the couch only. I think my husband may have actually scared her a bit too much, as she was terrified getting home from school the afternoon I was released. She softened up once she saw it was just me, as usual.

          I also agree with doing what your husband would do in the same situation. Allow him and your other family (as needed) to help. As a little more of your 3 y.o. Set up a little place for yourself on the couch in a main room in advance with remotes and some toys around you, maybe an iPad for the kids (or you) so you can just plop there and stay as much as needed.

    • Anonymous says

      Thanks, for the advice, all! Will make sure to prepare my 3 yo in advance. It’s sweet how little kids can be so sensitive when they are called upon.

  5. Bri says

    Cross-post- Any recommendations for nicer quality sleepwear/pajamas? I’m looking to spend between $100-$200, and prefer pants or long gown/robe over shorts. Basically I’m looking for something soft that doesn’t look terrible, since I need to upgrade from 15 year old college tees. Th

    • JJ says

      Soma. Their pajamas are incredibly comfortable. And, honestly? The Gillian O’Malley brand at Target also feels great and holds up well.

      • HSAL says

        I also love the Gillian O’Malley line. I recently retired pants that I’ve had since at least 2007, and the material still looked and felt great, they were just stretched out in the waist.

  6. CHL says

    Ridiculous question but perhaps with deeper meaning – my 3 year old is just starting to notice and comment on what other people have. Like those “light up” sneakers. Part of me thinks, getting my kid light up sneakers just because he asks for them sets a bad precedent that he can just get whatever he wants, he’ll never learn what it’s like to wait for something he desires, therefore setting him up for a lifetime of the hedonistic treadmill. On the other hand, part of me thinks that, hey, he needs to wear shoes, I can easily afford them and, besides, isn’t part of the joy of being a toddler getting to wear articles of clothing that light up? How do you all make decisions around things your kids want, but don’t need, even if you can absolutely “afford them?”

    • Soundproof says

      In your example, I would let him pick those sneakers when it’s time to buy new shoes, but not go out of my way to buy him sneakers based on his request. But I struggle with this too. For us, we eat out a lot, and it’s a convenience issue. I don’t know how to teach my kids that it’s a luxury as well.

    • mascot says

      I keep reminding myself that we don’t have to teach all of these lessons at once. Start small. He gets to choose 1-2 pairs of shoes, not an entire closetful. We eat out, but don’t want to waste food, so we order smaller portions or take home leftovers. We talk about saving money to go do things and how we work so that we can pay for our house, the dog food, etc. We just started with an allowance (he’s 5) and he has to dip into that to pay for the school book fair, or that gumball from the machine, etc. But, we also try to instill that others are not as fortunate as we are and talk about ways to help other people through volunteering time/talent/treasure. Part of his allowance goes to that too.

    • Anonymous4 says

      In our house, things kids want only appear at gift giving opportunities – birthday and Christmas for larger items, Valentine’s Day or Easter for smaller items. Necessities like shoes and clothes appear when needed. This is how I restrict myself from giving into my child’s every want. As adults, we know that just because we want things and can afford them doesn’t mean we should buy them; modeling that for children is probably the most important teaching tool.

      At three, it’s likely the light-up shoes will be forgotten before the next pair of shoes is purchased, but you can certainly remember he likes them and buy them at the appropriate time. As he gets older, maybe has an allowance, he can learn to save up for things he would like to purchase.

    • Navy Attorney says

      Not ridiculous. Last week we were at the store buying band-aids. Daughter saw slightly-more expensive Batman bandages. I said no, on the ground that we don’t spend money just to spend money; the cheaper plain ones were fine. She can buy them herself or ask for it for her birthday. Husband said I’m being ridiculous over $1.50 (he who buys her a donut every time they go to the grocery store), but some days I see her just ask ask ask and don’t want her to think she can just have anything. Granted, she’s 3, and that’s what they do. So it’s not ridiculous because 1) money and 2) greedy.

      That was ranty. Apparently I’m not over the bandages!

      • Spirograph says

        My husband and I have a similar dynamic. True story: he came home from grocery shopping with the 3 year old with cupcakes and said, “he wanted them, and asked why he couldn’t have them, and I couldn’t think of a good reason.” What? There are lots of good reasons not to buy cupcakes, not least of which is not giving into your 3 year old’s every whim!

    • Anonymous says

      Not a recommendation, just a story.

      My six year old just told me that she hated our house because it was the smallest one on the block and she wanted a bigger house. I told her that if she would like to get a job and help pay for a bigger house, we could discuss that.

      • MomAnon4This says

        +1
        Also by the time by kid was 4, though he didn’t understand MONEY, he understood, some things he wanted vs. some things he did not want as much.
        So, if he wanted the new video game toy (Skylanders) a LOT, I could say, well, those shoes, at $30, are about 1 or 2 Skylanders toys. Which would you rather have, light up shoes, or a Skylander toy?

        I wasn’t being mean, but giving him something to think about. And he thought. And usually made “the right” choice and if he didn’t, who cares, learn now (see budgeting post on main page)

    • hoola hoopa says

      His next pair can be light up shoes. Or, if it seems like a good match, get them now.

      I do splurge when it’s something that seems like a great splurge (will they love it for more than today? etc) and I don’t feel guilty about that. We all deserve a splurge now and then. I’m much more bothered by the ‘buy me something because I want it right now’ pattern.

      We delve into the details of the balance of wants and consumption with our older child, but three year olds are a bit young to expect too much. At that age, I go with “put in on your birthday list!” for all the ‘want right now’ items. I do think it’s age appropriate to start to understand that you need to wait and prioritize.

    • CHL says

      This is all great advice – I think I’m going to wait for when we take out/buy “summer” things and give him a couple options. That way I won’t feel like I’m giving in to 3 year old whining, but if those shoes still “spark joy,” more power to him. Good previews of more discussions to come on money, work, stuff, etc. Fun:)

  7. New job and possibly pregnant says

    Looking for advice from those who have started a new job while pregnant/become pregnant soon after starting a job. I’m starting a new job in a few weeks (moving from BigLaw to a litigation boutique) and there’s a chance I might be pregnant. My husband and I have been TTC #2 for a few months. I’m already worried about having to prove myself at a new job, and doubly worried about starting off pregnant. Does anyone have experience with this? My worst fear is that they’ll fire me if I have to take a maternity leave less than a year after starting. My other fear is that I’ll get a reputation as someone who isn’t 100% committed to the firm and that this will affect my chances for promotion to partner. Would love any advice!

    • Anon for this. says

      This happened to me when I moved from BigLaw to midlaw. There’s tons of good wisdom in the archives about this, and the hive is very divided on whether to disclose the instant you know or wait until the 12-week mark.

      For my 2 cents, almost two years out, I’m so, so glad that I disclosed the instant I knew. I had several conversations with very senior partners after I started where I essentially said, hey, I wanted to start out being forthright and up front about this, and they were like, good, because that’s the professional thing to do. You already have a kid, and you’re of childbearing age. They knew this was a possibility at some point. And they don’t have to know whether it was planned or how long you’d been trying. This could have been years in the making, or thousands in fertility treatments. It could have been a surprise. You will rock it. I worked like a dog while I was pregnant, but was able to take the full leave and it worked out well. Start planning now about how to cover an unpaid leave financially in case you have to. Work your ass off until you have the kid. Something about seeing a super-pregnant woman staying late or coming in early or otherwise going above and beyond tends to even out the question about whether you’re committed.

    • Me says

      Yes. This outs me to any friends who might read this site, but I literally accepted a new job and took a positive pregnancy test within about 24 hours. I told my boss on my first day of work a few weeks later — earlier than I otherwise would have, but I wanted to be up front about it. She was great. Congratulated me, assured me that we would work out a plan for coverage during my leave, that she would support a normal amount of leave even though FMLA doesn’t apply, and wanted to be sure I plan to come back afterward (definitely). New job is a professional stretch for me, and first trimester was brutal; I worked my butt off through exhaustion to learn and try to make a good first impression. I can’t comment on the long term since baby isn’t even here yet, but so far I haven’t noticed any professional ramifications. Caveat to all of this is that my boss is a mom, herself, and my company prides itself on promoting work-life balance and family-friendly policies, so culture was definitely on my side.

      Bottom line: learning a new job while you’re pregnant is no fun, but you can do it! The reputation stuff will sort itself out as long as you do your job well.

    • Pogo says

      This is nice to hear that people have done it and survived with careers intact. Assuming my fertility treatments work in the next six months (HA), I’ll have gotten pregnant within my first year on the job here. I was very concerned about telling because I worried management would think I wasn’t serious about the job (I am!). I still haven’t decided when I’ll tell them, but I don’t have to decide until the time comes.

      I wouldn’t possibly have maternity leave until I had been on the job 15 months at the earliest, which I feel is totally reasonable. And I’ll be eligible for FMLA and STD (phew!!).

      That said I was hoping to make it through my first year with minimal responsibility, so a maternity leave wouldn’t be as impactful to the business, but just today I was told I’m going to be assigned more projects. Sigh. At least they think I’m doing a good job.

    • anon says

      I got pregnant just about the day I started at my new big law firm as a lateral. I weaned my daughter to go back to work and presto! It’s been so much less bad than I thought it would be.

      My main piece of advice, especially with number 2: don’t worry too much if you are tired and not performing up to the levels you would like, because that will probably happen. People understand, and this is a short blip in a long career.

  8. Anonymous says

    Enrolling our 18 month old in daycare three days a week. Any thoughts about consecutive days (M, Tu, W) versus spread out (M, W, F)? Consecutive days might offer more consistency, but spreading them out would give her time to rest…Any suggestions welcome!

    • TK says

      Consecutive. A different schedule every single day can be hard for a kid to adjust to, and harder for you to develop routines for. My kid goes to daycare 5 days a week, but we only make it out of the door on any given morning because there’s a strict order of what needs to get done / prepped / packed beginning the night before. If every other day something was different, I would absolutely forget to pack diapers, or lunch, or any number of other things if the routine wasn’t ingrained.

    • Navy Attorney says

      I did this last year. I simply worked my tail off — ate lunch at my desk, came in at 7AM, scheduled OB appointments late enough in the day so I only needed 30 minutes of sick leave, worked late other days. I also waited to tell them until I could no longer fit into regular clothing. It worked; I got a better maternity leave package and a bonus. Husband was on board and took care of kid #1. If they fire you after working your tail off, it’s not a great working environment anyway.

    • Betty says

      Consecutive. So much easier to understand in for three days then out for four. We had our son enrolled in a MWF program when he was 3 and every morning he asked whether it was a preschool day.

    • Anonymous says

      Consecutive.

      The trend in my area is to offer MWF or T/TH as parttime options and it’s so much worse for kids. don’t know why they can’t make it easier on the kids and themselves with MTW and TH/F options

    • pockets says

      I don’t think it really matters. My 2 yo is in daycare three days a week, not consecutive, and she doesn’t seem particularly phased by it. Some days mommy goes to work and she goes to school. Some days we both stay home. It’s really a non issue.

  9. Another pregnant anon says

    Guys, I am about a month into my third trimester and I have a deep desire to get myself organized before having this baby but don’t really know how to begin. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources to push me towards? TIA!

    • In House Lobbyist says

      I love the Joy of Tidying Up book. I am on book 2 now and love, love, love it!

    • Katala says

      Not sure if you’ll see this but I really like Alejandra.tv for organizing. She has some free stuff and a big paid program. I read Marie Komo’s book on mat leave before a move and it helped me get rid of a lot of stuff. But it’s not really about organizing – Alejandra helps you put systems in place. Depends on what you like!

  10. hoola hoopa says

    Working mom rant: I’m leaving early to take my first grader to a birthday party. A weekday afternoon birthday party. HUMPH.

    Sigh. It’s not even a good friend. She’s a bit of a wallflower and whole-class parties are very rare in our area, so she was just so excited to be invited. She really, really wanted to go.

    And in case anyone is wondering: Husband was going to do it, but we need a contractor to come to the house and the only time they could be there was the same time as the party. I chose party over contractor.

    • MomAnon4This says

      I’m really proud of your first-grader! I know it sucks for you as Working Mom, but it’s gotta be hard for her as Shy Girl Who is Excited to be Invited. You’ll be glad you did this.

      Whole-class parties rare in our area, too, when I was a kid they were practically mandated. :(

    • Pogo says

      Oooo the exposed zipper makes me love it even more!

      I worry this won’t work unless you are rail thin. I think it would come off as too s3xy on my curvy self – something about the V-neck, the length, and the slim fit.

  12. Burned out says

    It’s probably too late to get any responses, but what do you do when you are beyond burned out and can’t get a break? I am a senior big law associate and have billed 2300-2500 hours a year for the past the years, with large chunks of time as a single parent due to spouse’s extended work travel. I am on a 3000 hour pace this year. I am at the point where I am so exhaustedI can barely function. I have been traveling a lot for work so I feel guilty taking time away from my preschooler on the weekend, but he is super demanding and I am the preferred parent so when I am not at work I get no downtime. I’ve considered taking a weekday off to go to the spa or just sleep but it isn’t feasible with the steady onslaught of litigation deadlines. I have no one to give work to (firm is trying to remedy and knows my hours are not sustainable, but hiring a junior associate is taking longer than anticipated), so delegating isn’t really an option. Suggestions?

    • Whitney says

      Force the day off for the spa. I’m sure it legitimately feels impossible, but it isn’t. Your bosses will make sure nothing blows up, even if it requires a little extra effort. And you’ll be more productive when you get some rest. I think a full day of no email (ask them to text you if a critical email comes through) is so much more rejuvenating than a half day.

      Also helps me to remind myself that I’m driven and like giving A/A+ work. Doing B work for a day so I can have a glass of wine and log off for dinner and an evening off is not going to be the big deal I think it will be. No one ever notices, even when. I’m convinced they will.

      Good luck!

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