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I love the blog/Instagram Extra Petite, which I found as a Corporette reader. I really love her personal style, that she alters some clothes herself, and more recently that she shared her IVF and newborn stories. One product that she showed she owns is this Hatch Baby Smart Changing Scale. I remember when I previously posted here about the Glow Baby app that records feedings and diaper changes, readers’ reactions were mixed about the usefulness of tracking so closely. This scale adds a whole extra layer to the tracking by being a combo changing pad and scale that measures and tracks your newborn’s weight. I’m conflicted — on one hand, how much information is too much information? On the other, if you have a baby who is premature or has feeding issues or jaundice, tracking steady weight gain is super important. Maybe you don’t want to wait for doctor’s appointments and the people at the supermarket are giving you dirty looks when you weigh your baby in the produce section (kidding). Anyway, if you think this would be helpful for you or even just right up your data-driven alley, it is $129.99 on Amazon and is available for Prime shipping and free returns. Grow Smart Changing Pad and Scale This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Lana Del Raygun says
If you need to track weight and/or intake closely, you can also sometimes rent a scale from the hospital and/or a lactation consultant, which may be cheaper.
Another Option says
We have this one and I recommend it!
https://www.amazon.com/Health-meter-Toddler-Scale-Growth/dp/B0009MFUZE
Despite the link name, it is for both babies and toddlers. It is under $45.
Anon says
My weekly new mom’s group (free – sponsored by the hospital) had a scale at each meeting so you could weigh your LO.
Pogo says
Same – this was what I did for baby’s first couple months. I felt a 1x/week weighed feeding was sufficient, especially after LO got back up to birth weight. However prior to that point they wanted me in the ped so frequently I’m not sure having a scale at home would have mattered!
Anon says
I had a combo bathtub/scale (I think it was about $70) and it really gave me peace of mind in the beginning. It was nice to know she was growing and to have some sense of how much she ate at each feed.
FVNC says
I’ve read and heard a lot about kids who are sensitive, have big feelings, etc. Has anyone experienced the opposite with their kid(s)? And can you recommend any resources that may address kids like this?
My 5 yr old has “low arousal,” which in practice means she’s pretty even keel, emotionally — no really low lows, no really high highs. She also is not noticeably affected by the emotions of those around her. This can be challenging when, for example, she does something dangerous (darting into a road) and doesn’t seem to perceive how serious this is. Or when I try to explain why her 5-yr-old ‘tude is not acceptable (she literally does not acknowledge that I’ve spoken, just responds when I’m done talking with a non sequitur). There are upsides as well — I love that she’s not a people pleaser (something I really struggle with) and very independent. But I want to ensure she develops appropriate empathy, and I’m just not sure how to do that. I’d love to hear any thoughts or experiences you all may have had with similarly-wired kids.
Knope says
Not saying this is necessarily your daughter’s issue at all, but her temperament sounds exactly like that of my brother who has Asperger’s. Resources intended for parents of kids with high-functioning autism might be helpful to you.
FVNC says
Thanks, this is a good suggestion. She did undergo extensive evaluation for ASD when she was younger. Because she didn’t meet the criteria for ASD diagnosis, I had not looked further into related resources — but I agree that would be a good starting point.
Anon says
I don’t think of people with Asperger’s as even-keeled? They’re generally pretty prone to temper tantrums, at least as children.
Knope says
I’m not sure – I am not an expert on it at all, and my brother is older than me so I don’t remember what he was like as a little kid. But as an adult, he is very much like this – even-keeled, struggles with empathy, often changes the subject to something he’s interested in if he’s in a conversation about something that doesn’t interest him. He has other high-functioning autistic friends too who are similar in personality. My understanding is that people on the spectrum have difficulty interpreting others’ emotions and relating to them, so that’s why I thought similar resources might be helpful.
FVNC says
Wow, it’s so interesting to hear you describe your brother, because he does sound exactly like my daughter. Thanks again, Knope…off to do some googling :)
Anon says
Your daughter sounds like me, and I’m on the high functioning end of Asperger’s. I don’t have a lot of empathy but I’m very goal driven and practical so I’ve learned out to ‘fake’ empathy when I’m working with others towards a common goal. I was a very independent kid – not shy or lonely, I just did my own thing – and I ended up working in a very data driven field that I’ve been very successful at.
As a kid, it was helpful to have parents who recognized these qualities as potential strengths and who worked with me to shape my behavior through a motivation other than emotion or feeling – rewards / withdrawal of toys or privileges were much more impactful than saying the were proud / angry / disappointed, etc.
FVNC says
Thanks for this thoughtful response. The motivation via rewards/withdrawal versus verbal praise is spot on. We rely heavily on bribery in our house!
Proper Nomenclature says
Now that I am embarking on this next phase (told soon-to-be-ex that I wanted a divorce on Saturday), what is the proper nomenclature for the parenting that I am doing? Kids will be with me except for every other weekend. I know my soon-to-be-ex and I will “co-parent,” but is this single-parenting?
Anonymous says
My 2 cents: “Solo-parenting” would be most accurate, if your soon-to-be-ex is a true co-parent.
Whether “single parent” is appropriate depends a lot on the context and audience, imho. Don’t use it if you’re talking to someone whose partner is out of the picture due to death, incarceration, abandonment, etc. But as a married middle-class professional, I would take it in stride and not begrudge you the term.
Anon says
Huh I feel the opposite. To me “single” is just a reference to the mom’s marital status, but “solo” implies the other parent is absent.
Anon says
I would say any unmarried woman with kids is a single mom because she is single and a mom. Hugs.
Anonymous says
I tend to only use ‘single mom’ when it’s a mom who has sole responsiblity for her kids with no co-parent in the picture so the full weight of all parenting decisions/responsiblities falls only on the mom. I relate the ‘single’ to the parenting vs. to the parent’s relationship/dating status. But I know some people use it for divorced or unmarried moms where there is an active co-parent.
Not sure in what context you need to describe it. Could you just say ‘having the kids on my own over the weekend was exhausting’ or whatever is approprite to the context? Solo parenting makes me think of shorter duration situations like where the other parent is away on business travel or similar.
Anonymous says
Sure use single parenting or solo parenting. I started a whole ruckus on here posting about how I don’t like married people using “solo parenting” to describe evenings alone with their kids (nearly everyone disagreed which is cool not looking to start that drama again) and even I, a person overly sensitive about this, would have zero issue with you casually using “single” or “solo.”
Anon says
I was raised by a parent who had me all the time except for big school breaks. I’d say my primary parent was single parenting and that’s what you are doing too. I know it’s controversial, but I think of “solo parenting” as what someone who has a partner does when their partner is away.
Anon in NYC says
Yes, I agree. Realistically, you will be caring for your kids for about 26 days per month by yourself. In my book, that’s single parenting (and I am someone who describes myself as solo parenting when my husband is traveling for work).
anon says
Anyone else in the office today despite the winter weather? My office is technically open, but almost everyone is working from home. I know I should enjoy the quiet, but honestly I just feel lonely!
Anonymous says
I often find that a fancy coffee or bringing a special take out lunch in (or both…) help me in that situation.
Handmade Stuffed Animals? says
Good recommendations on Etsy or otherwise for fun, funky, otherwise cute stuffed animals as baby gifts? (Please no comments that the person has enough animals, it’s my sister and she has everything she needs, so this is just for fun!) Thanks.
Anon says
No specific recs but get something with eyes that can’t be pulled off so it will be safe for babies/toddlers. These are surprisingly hard to find.
anon. says
Similarly, thoughts on Cuddle & Kind? Does anyone have one?
Anonymous says
My MIL gave my daughter one for her first birthday. It sits in the toy chest because she (baby) just does not care. It’s cute though. It’s pretty big for a small child’s toy.
Anonymous says
My sister made stuffed animals (fabric, not crochet) for my kids, and they are awesome and my kids love them because Aunt made them… They’re actually a pretty cheap and easy craft project, if you have a few hours and a sewing machine.
Cb says
A big brand but jellycat has so many cute animals. There is a display in a shop near me and I am anti stuffed toys but was quite tempted by the jellyfish.
anon. says
Haha, I was anti stuffed toys until my kid decided he loves them and plays school with them every morning independently and now I LOVE THEM.
Cb says
My kid has some gorgeous stuffed animals we received as a gift but only loves his jellycat ‘bunmi’ and the creepy stuffed bear my husband got from a tech conference.
Pogo says
I’m not trying to deter the OP, but hard same – you seriously have no idea which stuffy you kid is going to become obsessed with. Mine loves these two creepy singing ones that we received as gifts because he can press their tummy and make them sing. He also likes his doggie that his babysitter gave him for a gift, and because she left the tag on accidentally I know it was $5 at Costco. And yet he loves it!
The jellycat ones are very cute. That’s probably what I’d give as a gift.
Em says
I love jelly cats so hard. Their floofy bird line makes me want to decorate my house with them. They have a black and white bird named Dazzle Pom Pom and a white peacock looking floof named Lola Wingaling.
One brown eye says
Not sure if this fun/funky enough, but Jellycat brand is my favorite to give and receive.
anon says
they are the softest! we got some that have my kid’s name monogrammed on the ear of the bunny
Anon says
Same
anon says
I am kind of dreading the three-day weekend coming up. I usually love more time at home with the kids, but it’s cold, we’ve all been sick on and off for a month and a half, and I’m just exhausted. What are your best tricks for keeping everyone entertained and adhering to routines on long weekends? I am hoping to take the kids out of the house for some kind of activity to give husband a break and vice versa (we somehow always forget to do that and then wonder why we’re so tired). Kids are 4 and 1 and we’re in DC.
Spirograph says
Generally, I do not adhere to routines on a long weekend, except to the extent that letting the kids watch cartoons in their PJs is a routine. :) Disney on Ice is in DC this weekend if your kids might be into that. The museums will likely be a madhouse, but I like the Zoo on rainy days — it’s usually not crowded, and there are plenty of indoor exhibits.
Other favorites to get kids out of the house: chick fil a with playplace, library, pool, bounce house. Badlands in Rockville is a little more of a hike depending where you are in DC, but lots of space for kids to run and climb, and serves drinks!
anon says
Thanks!
We’re usually more relaxed about routines on long weekends, also, like skipping naps or eating a late breakfast, but that’s what leads to major meltdowns. I wish I could just put on a fun movie, but screen time causes crazy tantrums when the movie is over.
Spirograph says
I hear you. Some kids are more forgiving with schedule adjustments than others, and mine allow a bit of fudging. Mostly, we just try to balance things out. We might have several snacks instead of real meals, or figure on short naps in the car en route to adventures + early bedtime. We are going to Disney on Ice during naptime one day this weekend, so we’re going to be extra careful to have a low-key evening that day, and to make sure everyone has a full nap on adjacent days.
We get the post-movie tantrums sometimes, too. My trick: We tell the kids they can watch the first part of the movie, break for dinner and to get ready for bed, then they can finish the movie if they were cooperative. Usually this makes dinner and bedtime routine smoother, and if there’s a post-movie tantrum, at least all I have to do is avoid flailing limbs long enough to put the kid in bed.
anon says
I struggle with long weekends, too. My best trick is to get help (sitter or grandparent) for the afternoon of the Sunday or Monday. It makes a huge difference.
Other than that, I find it helps to make plans with other families, even if it’s just to go over to their place (or have them over to ours) or meet up at a spot that’s part of our usual routine (library, playground, etc.). So a long weekend might look like this:
Saturday: farmer’s market, library, lunch, nap, playdate (might include dinner together)
Sunday: Target run, lunch, nap, BREAK
Monday: playdate, lunch, nap, hang at home
Anonymous says
Badlands will be mobbed, so good for exercising kids but not so good if your 1-year-old is easily overwhelmed. You’d also want to buy tickets ahead of time, because it will fill up.
Again depending on where you are, the blog Route 1 Fun highlights events each weekend, which can be good for finding things you hadn’t heard of before.
octagon says
Have you been to Scramble in Alexandria? Your kids are the perfect age for that. There are also nature centers at several local parks – the one in Rock Creek will be good for an hour, at least.
We do long library trips. Another thing that’s fun is to go to National Airport — complete with a subway ride if you are up to it — and just watch the planes take off and land. That big reception area between terminals A and B is perfect to let kids run around.
AwayEmily says
Going to National is a brilliant idea.
Anon says
We also do playdates, preferably paired with an activity (going out to eat, coffee, or just apps and drinks at someone’s house). Feels less stressful to me if there are more adults watching more children, even if the ratio of parent to kids is the same.
Is there a kid-friendly coffee shop near you? I live way out in the burbs, but Ridgetop Coffee in Sterling has an indoor play area (split between 0-2 and 2-5 I think) that is one of our rainy weekend go-to’s (and I like the coffee) – you could pair it with a trip to Udvar-Hazy to watch planes and run around if you’re not up for the drive just for coffee. With my 18MO, we sometimes go out to eat and then let her run laps after dinner at Tyson’s Galleria up and down the hallways – if you eat early or late, it’s way less crowded than the regular Tysons and she loves looking at all the things. I think Fair Oaks Mall has an indoor playground, if that’s your speed. On long weekends, we also usually try to fit in family pool pool time one morning or afternoon. Our gym has an indoor pool, but so do many of the Fairfax County rec centers, and I think they do day passes for non-county residents (something like $15 per adult and kids get in free with a paying adult) – some even have water slides (maybe that’s just Cub Run in Chantilly).
PreK or K? says
Anyone have a child with a birthday that meets or misses the school age cutoff by a few days? My 4 year old misses the cutoff for kindergarten by 8 days and I’m struggling with whether to put him private kindergarten or another year of preK. Academically, I know he will be fine because he is reading very basic books and seems to have a more developed sense of math than his peers. He is independent and follows directions well. He is small for his age, so I worry about the impact of advancing him socially, especially what it would mean for him during middle school. His pediatrician and current teacher both suggest that I enroll him in kindergarten.
Did you push your child forward to be the youngest in the class, or hold them back so they were the oldest? Did your child adjust well? Would you do it again?
Anon says
If his ped and current teacher say enroll him, I would enroll him. I think it’s more of a toss-up when a kid is academically ready but someone is counseling against it for social reasons.
Fwiw, I was held back because my preschool teacher said I wasn’t ready socially (it was less about acting out and more about just being shy and scared of a lot of things). My parents listened and I was bored out of my mind in school for a couple of years and struggled socially because I was so advanced and was basically assigned to tutor other students, which was not a great social dynamic. I ended up skipping second grade and rejoining my normal class in third grade (as one of the younger ones in the class) and things got infinitely better then. Third through fifth grades were great, and then middle school drama set in, but I think that’s inevitable.
Pogo says
+1 I had a very similar experience (missed cutoff by 6 days in my state at the time) and we later investigated me skipping a grade and/or going to private elementary school, though I never ended up doing it. I didn’t really feel on the same level as my peers until high school when I was able to take classes with older students (for example, as a freshman I took math with juniors). I think going on to K would have been totally fine for me, but my mom didn’t push it (and frankly not sure they had the means to send me to private school at the time).
Anonymous says
I would do P-K again and maybe add a second language class on the weekends to challenge him.
My kids are 1-2 months before the cut off and they have all found it hard to be younger/youngest. My oldest was so excited to be the same age as her friends and now it’s already time for her February BFF’s birthday and she starts being annoyed to be the youngest again.
avocado says
If he is ready, absolutely send him! If you hold him back, you risk boredom, behavior problems, and a poor attitude towards school. It tends to be much easier to convince a school to start a kid in K early than it is to have him skipped a grade later on.
My daughter missed the cutoff by almost 4 months, but we still sent her to K early because she was more than ready socially and academically. She is now in the seventh grade and I am still convinced it was the best decision we ever made.
avocado says
Also—my daughter is small for her age. She would have been one of the smallest in her grade anyway if we’d waited a year, so I don’t think it really made a difference. She learned to deal with being the smallest pretty quickly, and was actually sort of proud of it.
Anon says
I went through this last year. Kid with precocious academic abilities, but behind the curve in some social skills–was starting to read at 4.5, but regular meltdowns over small disappointments. We decided to go wait. Around here, there is more redshirting among private school students than public school students, so if we had gone that route, she would have been 1.5 years younger than several of the kids in her cohort. Given where she is in her social-emotional development, that seemed like too much. So far, I’m very happy with the extra year of preK for her, and confident that she’ll be in a good place to start K next year. I do worry about academic boredom in a few years, but not in the short run. We had several meetings with admin and parents at the public school she’ll go to next year, who assured us that K is quite play-based and that there is basically no whole-class instruction, so they will be able to individualize reading/math stuff for her as necessary. They also said that they are open to skipping grades later on in elementary if she seems bored then.
That said – in your shoes I might think more seriously about private K. Your son sounds readier emotionally than my kid was. Depending on where he is now, I would also think about a different, perhaps more academic, preK program – in my area, those are affiliated with the private schools.
In any case, I would try to game it out a few years. What are your options if you put him in private K next year, then decide a few years later it isn’t working? Or vice versa? For us, that ended up being the deciding factor – it seemed like it would be a smoother transition to skip a grade later, if necessary, than to repeat. We also were pretty sure we didn’t want to do private school indefinitely, so private K meant that she’d be transitioning back to public in a few years anyway.
Anon says
People always push for their kids to be the oldest, but someone has to be the youngest, so that part doesn’t faze me. I say base it on your kid’s personality and actions.
My kids were in daycare where kids moved rooms based on birthday, so I looked at how they acted within the classrooms. My son who is 10 days from the school cutoff was great in behavior, attitude, and academic when he was the youngest, I think because he tries to keep up with the bigger kids. He struggles when he’s the oldest (picks on the other kids, rebels against the “easier” activities, doesn’t pay as much attention, and acts up at home).
Based on that, we moved him into preschool and then kindergarten on schedule, and he was the youngest in his class both times. Teachers said his behavior was within the ranges of acceptable (clearly not quite as well-behaved as the kids more than a year older than him) and he seemed happy, so it seems like the right choice for him.
I also think it’s somewhat tied to birth order – based on his classes and anecdotes from my friends, kids with older siblings seem to be better able to “keep up with the big kids” and want to do so. The oldests and onlies tend to not quite be on par with peers, at least at the PS/K level.
Anonymous says
What’s the norm on your town? My daughter missed the 10/1 cutoff by 6 days. She was academically ready. We didn’t push (we’d have had to send her to private school)’and as it turns out, she is NOT the oldest in her pre K class- by a lot. In our town, 25% of families with boys with summer birthdays red shirt. 20% of girls with august or sept birthdays are red shirted.
Her class has 5 boys that turned 5 over the summer or in sept, then my daughter, then 4 kids with late Oct birthdays, a bunch in nov/dec, and some in March-July.
My second is 8/15 and she’s 3 and she’s going on schedule.
Boys v girls may be a consideration too. Boy moms I know are much more likely to hold back.
TheElms says
I started pre-K a year early for where I lived at the time (2.5 rather than 3.5) because I don’t think there was a local nursery or daycare type option. By Kindergarten my private school was pushing to skip me ahead a year or more. My parents ultimately chose not to and other than a brief period in the middle elementary school years (grades 2-3) where I recall being really really bored and getting into some trouble at school because of that it was fine. The school eventually worked with my parents to find things to keep me interested in school (I recall spending a lot of time doing independent reading and math worksheets not related to what the class was doing and extra science projects and being allowed to join the school choir a year early). By 4th grade I grew up and learned that even if I was bored I had to behave, and I don’t recall it being much of an issue after that. It wasn’t an awful lesson to learn. By middle school there were more formal options to take classes ahead of grade level and by high school I was at a school that did the IB and I took some classes out of sequence and it wasn’t an issue. Generally, I would consider how willing your school system would be to work with your kid if they end up bored. I was always a bit of an odd duck at school, it got better as I got older, and I don’t know that being more challenged academically at school by skipping a grade would have helped the odd duck issue.
PreK or K? says
Thank you everyone!
LittleBigLaw says
For the better part of a year now my almost 4 yo has been complaining that her knee/leg hurts whenever she is overtired, which unfortunately seems to happen a lot (4-5 times a week at least) because she almost never naps at preschool. I’ve been ignoring this as just her go-to “I’m tired” response or general growing pains and because she sometimes complains about other things hurting (arm, foot, etc) whenever she’s tired. But last night she woke us all up several times in the night complaining that her knee was still hurting (she had complained at bedtime, too, but went to sleep easily). I realized that when she’s really had a long day, she will often wake up in the night continuing to complain about her knee/leg. Now I’m wondering if there could be something real going on and that I haven’t paid enough attention. Is this normal? Anyone else had experience with similar issues? I think I’m panicking a little because we skipped her finger stick at her 3 yo checkup because she was having a full on come apart in the Dr.’s office and now I’m imagining every worst case scenario. Calm me down, please!
Cb says
Growing pains? I had them as a kid. I would check in with the doctor, just to give you peace of mind.
Anonymous says
Just take her to the doctor
Anonymous says
No need to worry! But I think a trip to the ped’s office might be good for both you and kiddo.
Anon says
I had a lot of knee pain as a teen and it turned out my gait was off a bit. My right foot turned a little too far to one side and I was a runner so it built up too much muscle on one side of my knee cap and pulled it out of line. I had to have PT to build up muscle on the other side and put it back into place. I remember my PT saying he usually sees the issue in younger kids or the elderly and rarely had a teen with that issue. My mom recalls my pre-school teacher pointing it out and my pediatrician blowing it off back then until I was old enough to really complain in a way that people took me seriously. It was minor and an easy fix though painful at the time!
Anonymous says
Definitely go to the ped – if it’s nothing, you’ll feel so much better, and if it is real, you can get LO treatment! I was older (about 9 I think) when I had a stress fracture in a growth plate. I never did anything to cause it (though my mom says it’s because I used to jump down the last 3 stairs, ha) – I wasn’t a gymnast or cheerleader or something. IIRC stress fractures in growth plates is somewhat common in kids.
mascot says
Probably growing pains, but also, how are her shoes? Is she wearing something supportive for all the running around that she is doing?
My kid goes through a litany of his injuries right before he goes to sleep. I think it is the only time he is still/calm enough to notice. He’s super active and plays sports so I am not surprised that things hurt on occasion.
anon says
My 4 year old does this also. It’s all over the place, sometimes a leg or an arm, and we massage it or sometimes let her use a heating pad. I mentioned it to our doctor and she was not concerned, but I (because of family history) just wanted more info. I explained my concerns to our doc and she got us in to an xray. Everything came back negative. I am sure I look like the crazy parent, but I had my reasons, and now feel a little better.
LittleBigLaw says
Exactly what I was hoping to hear. Thanks!
ifiknew says
I remember having this for years as a kid, I really do this it’s growing pains. It stopped when I got to be maybe 8? It was definitely more like “bone pain” and not “muscle pain” but it was worse when I ran around a lot..
Anonymous says
Plus size ladies, when did you start to actually look pregnant? I’m at 16 weeks and still don’t at all.
Anonymous says
Of course YMMV, but I think it was around 22-24 weeks for me. For context, I’m 5’2″, was 175 before pregnancy and went up to 190 during pregnancy. I have PCOS and carry all my weight in my middle, so the “bump” just kind of blended in for a while.
anon says
With my first, I don’t think I really started to show until 20-22. Now that it’s my second time around I’m starting to show earlier, but it’s still less cute pregnant bump and more just feeling extra large.
Anon says
I started really showing right around 10 or 11 weeks, but I also had a lot of bloat that made it more noticeable. I started pregnancy at 5’8″ and 217. I also had HG my entire pregnancy, so my weight, while it didn’t go down, looked like it was – the bump kept getting bigger as the rest of me appeared to be getting smaller (I gained a total of 18 pounds and birthed an 8.5 pound baby).
Anon says
Generally, you start looking pregnant a few weeks (or many weeks) before you think you look pregnant. I’m not plus-sized but I didn’t see a visible “bump” until 16 weeks. But my face got a lot fuller and my b00bs got a lot bigger and apparently most people could tell by 10-12 weeks.
TheElms says
I think this really varies person to person and based on what you are wearing. I’m around 5’3″ and was about 165 pre-pregnancy, having just lost a lot of weight, so I was cusp sized at the point I got pregnant. People didn’t start commenting until around 22 weeks for me, but I thought I looked pretty obviously pregnant at about 18-20 weeks if I wore a fitted dress. I’m 26 weeks now and I wore a loose shirt with cigarette style pants over the weekend and you couldn’t tell I was pregnant; I more just looked chunky.
behind the kidney says
I switched to maternity trousers ~week 18 with my first, and I’m not plus sized. The first just hides in the abdomen longer!
JTM says
I didn’t really show with a defined bump until about 28wks. For context, I’m 5’5″ and a size 20.
lawsuited says
For me around 20 weeks the first time, and around 12 weeks the second time.
Brir says
I am 5’5 and a size 16-18 and people didn’t really know at work (I do visit different sites daily) until 26-28 weeks because I was wearing flowy shirts.
Anon says
How much do you worry about language in front of your young kids? DH and I swear probably way too much – never at each other, and rarely in anger, but we regularly say things like “oh $hit, I left my phone at work.” DD isn’t talking yet but I know soon she will be repeating everything we say. We have to stop, right? Also how much do you worry about lyrics in music? She currently loves listening to Pitbull because she loves the beat…not sure how much I should worry about that.
Anonymous says
DH swears (he’s from a family that swears). He’s trying to reign it in after we had issues with our kids copying him. His brother swears like sailor in front of adults but has been really strict about not swearing in front of any kids.
Don’t say anything in front of your kids that you are not okay with them repeating because they 100% will. That’s also the reason that we don’t do adult (as in non-kid music) in front of the kids because of the whole repeating what they hear issue. Kidz pop has kid friendly versions of pop songs.
Anonymous says
I worry a lot about it but don’t necessarily think you need to. I hate swearing and very rarely do it myself and don’t want my kids to think it’s ok so I have no issue with limiting their exposure.
Anon says
I don’t. Growing up my mother swore like a sailor (particularly in traffic) and there was never any doubt those were words I was not allowed to use. Maybe once she starts repeating things I will be more mindful, but for now (18MO), she’s not. The music gets me, mostly because I listen to lyrics (DH doesn’t even hear the lyrics really and just listens to the beat). A lot of the music she and DH like (hip hop, rap, R&B) I find the lyrics are either super degrading to women or really explicit, so I usually object to her listening to that – my preferred music is classic rock or country, so we usually compromise for car rides with something like 90s pop with a careful ear to flip the station if needed.
Anonymous says
We only listened to kids music when kids are in the car but the downside is that we have accidentially trained the kids to object forcefully if we try to put on non-kids music. More kid-friendly adult music is definitely the way to go.
Anonymous says
My husband also likes hip hop and probably listens to it when he’s driving the kids by himself. I’ll change stuff with explicit or degrading lyrics if I hear it. Our car music is a combination of classical, classic rock, alternative, pop, and Disney and Broadway soundtracks. Broadway is case by case, we skip songs in Avenue Q, but will let Hamilton play and strategically turn down the volume occasionally. Sometimes we’ll put on Baby Shark or Raffi, but very infrequently.
Anonymous says
I don’t worry about either, but I also don’t swear like a sailor. If music becomes a problem, I’ll address it at the time. Language really doesn’t bother me much. But I have a feeling I’ll be in the minority.
Anonymous says
It depends on your childcare arrangements as well. If you have a nanny it’s not such an issue but speaking from experience, daycare will definitely call when your 3 year old drops a book on his foot and says ‘f…that hurt.’ Sigh.
Anon says
Yes, OP here and this is what I’m specifically worried about. DH and I really don’t personally care that much if she swears (as long as it’s not directed at a person) but I’m worried about getting in trouble at daycare if she says a bad word. What did you tell them when you got that call?
Anonymous says
Just apologized profusely and we both dialed back our swearing. We’re a dual language home so the list of ‘bad words’ that kid would have to remember not to say would be pretty long. Plus I couldn’t really justify why grown ups could say ‘bad/rude’ things and kid couldn’t, and it didn’t seem fair to put the burden on remembering what words are or are not okay to say onto kid so dialing back our swearing was the only real option. Really did not want to be the mom whose kid taught the other kids to swear! It did happen once more at daycare about a month later but not after that.
Anonymous says
We’ve never gotten a call, but teacher has pulled me aside at pick-up to say that kid said “f–.” I am 100% confident my kids learned that word at daycare because DH and I don’t use it around them, so there wasn’t much I could do other than make it clear that they are not allowed to say that word at home, either, promise to continue reinforcing. My daughter regularly comes home and tells me which one of her friends got in trouble for swearing that day, so she isn’t the only one.
This might be region-dependent. I had NO IDEA what the swear words were until I was in late elementary school (I thought the f word was “fart” for the longest time, since my mom wouldn’t let me say that either). Both daycare centers we’ve used seem to take it pretty well in stride. It’s not OK, and the kids get time out for it at school, but it’s not the bombshell it might be in more conservative places like where I grew up.
Anonymous says
Eh, we try to avoid swearing, and the kids are not allowed to swear, but they know the words from 1. our occasional slip-ups, 2. preschool friends. I don’t do much more than mild admonishment as long as they are using the words correctly and not toward a person (eg, a disappointed “damnit” if favorite cereal has run out). If they use it wrong, I also correct that because vocabulary. If they swear at a person, that has more consequence because we do not use words to hurt people.
My kids call out “stupid” as a bad word, which I use often when I’m frustrated or driving, so we end up having a lot of conversations about words can be appropriate or not depending on the context. Kids are still learning when it might be OK to use “bad” words, and that’s why there are rules at school that they shouldn’t say them at all. Otherwise my big challenge is not to laugh at conversations like this (true story):
Me: Why are your sheets wadded up at the end of your bed?
Son: I HATE SHEETS! SHEETS ARE STUPID!
Daughter (age 4, cheerful): Yeah, sheets are stupid as f***!
Anon says
HAHAHA. I laughed out loud!
avocado says
My daughter has been listening to 1980s rap since infancy with no ill effects.
SC says
DH and I have tried to dial back using the f* word and others we really don’t want kid to say. DH says “damnit” a lot in response to relatively small things. Kiddo has picked up saying that occasionally, but more to get a reaction than in context, so we just ignore. The conversation usually goes like this:
“Damnit.”
Silence.
“Damnit damnit damnit.”
Silence.
“Mommy, I said damnit.”
Me: “Yep, you did.”
Anonymous says
According to my parents I was also saying damnit at age 2. I have had a perfectly fine life. We don’t worry about swearing in front of our kids but I try to limit it to milder words like crap when possible.
Pogo says
Although DH and I both swear and I listen to hip-hop and podcasts that use a lot of adult language, I made a decision not to do that in front of kiddo. I think this goes back to how I was raised – by a somewhat conservative, religious family – and DH was as well. Our parents have been mortified/visibly angry when our nieces and nephews have repeated swear words in front of them, so I wanted to avoid that out of respect I suppose. I see it as an extension of good manners – like we don’t talk with food in our mouth at dinner table, we don’t drop f-bombs at the dinner table.
ifiknew says
Pregnant with #2 and I’ve heard a lot of people say the weight doesn’t come off as easily with #2. Feeling a bit anxious about this. I gained 40 pounds with #1 and it took me a year for it to all come off. I’m hoping the same thing will happen this time, but ugh, anything I could do differently? I only eat when hungry and I eat “more” of my meals, but definitely not indulging in junk etc. I’m sure I’ll gain 40 pounds again, given that I’m 24 weeks and have already gained 20 pounds.
If your weight didn’t come off as easily with subsquent pregnancies, was there anything in particular that contributed to this? I was 27 with #1 and 29 with #2, so not sure if age makes a huge difference, but maybe?
Anonymous says
You need to just let this go. There’s nothing you can do about it.
Anon says
9 months on, 9 months off. You’re expecting way too much of your body. You need to gain weight to grow a healthy baby and it’s normal for that weight to take some time to come off. Be kind to yourself! And 29 is objectively still so young and way too young for your age to be a factor in slower weight loss.
Op says
Sorry I should clarify, I have no issues with it taking a year or longer and certainly do not plan to do anything to gain less. I know this is just the way my body handles pregnancies and I will be grateful for two healthy babies.
I’m just nervous about if there’s anything in particular that makes it harder for weight to come off for #2 in the sense that people say they are permanently heavier. Any positive stories would help as well.
Anonymous says
I found weight loss to be similar after each pregnancy, and I was 29, 31, and 33 respectively. Any variation I attribute to age, and having less time and energy to focus on diet and exercise with increasing # of kids. I do think the shape of my body didn’t come back quite as well after my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, but weight was not an issue. I’m about 10 lbs up from my 27 year old weight right now, but that was all gained in the last year after I’d lost all the baby weight from #3.
This has as much to do with genes as anything, I think. My mom had 3 kids and is basically the same size as her pre-kids self, too.
GCA says
I don’t think so – maybe people tend to say they are permanently heavier, the weight doesn’t come off, etc. but how much of that is a function of the increased general life stress of having 2 kids? (FWIW each of my pregnancies has reshaped my body slightly – hips, belly, rear end, chest. Not good or bad, just ‘I don’t like shopping but I have to buy some new pants’.) Gently, what is making you nervous about weighing more?
PreK or K? says
It was significantly harder for me to lose weight after my second child. But, I consistently exercised during my first pregnancy and was far too exhausted to do the same with a 2 year old running around during my second pregnancy. While I am at my pre-pregnancy weight now, my body shape shifted, so I buy pants sized larger than what I wore pre-pregnancy.
Katarina says
I actually found it easier to lose weight after my second. I was 33 with my first and 36 with my second. I never lost the last 10 pounds after my first, but I went back to my original weight after my second. I did gain 10 less pounds the second time, ending up at the same weight right before giving birth. My body did not go all the way back, though. Also, it took longer for my belly to go down to a somewhat reasonable size the second time, despite weighing less. With my first, I hoped I would magically lose the weight from breastfeeding, and did not really start to make an effort until the baby was 9 months. With my second, I started making an effort when he STTN.
K says
Here is my saga which might be instructive as an anecdote?
Pregnancy 1:
Starting weight: 140 lb
High weight pre-birth: 185 lb
Post-pregnancy weight (with no effort): 160 lb
Pregnancy 2:
Starting weight: 160 lb (obviously)
High weight: 205 lb
Post-pregnancy weight: 185 lb
When my 2nd baby was 4 months old, I decided enough was enough. I went keto (extremely low carb) for four months, no cheats. Less than 20g carbs per day, tracking everything in MyFitnessPal. I lost 40 lb in four months, and it stayed off, even when I went back on carbs four months later. (It eventually crept back up, but that’s due to me overeating–I feel the “pregnancy weight” stayed off, ha.) I am a huge believer in keto, several members of my family did it and lost anywhere from 20 to 40 lbs.
All this is to say, even if you come out at the end 40 lb overweight, you can lose it. You’ll be ok.
Lily says
Any recs for an under-$100 one-piece bathing suit? I will be 4 months post-partum for our first family vacation (Miami). I’m 5’4, currently 150 lbs, and I’m guessing I’m a size 8. Anything that conceals a still-very soft belly would be awesome.
Anon says
YMMV but I have a soft belly and generally find two pieces are a lot more flattering. One pieces are good if you want to cover up perceived skin imperfections, like stretch marks or dark patches. But they don’t conceal a big-for-me belly and may even emphasize it.
anon says
+1 Sadly. I have dreams of a one piece holding me in the way my favorite yoga pants do but I haven’t found that swimsuits work that way. Maybe a high rise/waisted two piece?
GCA says
Also Team Tankinis! (Athleta? Land’s End? Old Navy?) Bonus – easier to lift up or down for nursing, if you breastfeed.
Anonymous says
good point!!!
CHL says
I like the Boden one piece swimsuits
rosie says
Suggest Target for tankinis (order a bunch online). Two pieces are easier for bfeeding & bathroom breaks. Also suggest soft cups/padding if you’re bfeeding, especially if you are planning to swim & the water is cold. I appreciated more coverage in that area.
Anon says
Lands End tankini. All the moms in my mom’s group swear by them. I’ve been team two piece for bathroom breaks for a long time, but switched to tankinis at pregnancy and haven’t switched back.
Mrs. Jones says
The only swimsuits I’ve worn for the past 10 years are LE tankinis.
Katarina says
I have a soft belly even pre-pregnancy, and I find one piece swim suits the most flattering by a lot. Maybe it is my proportions, but two piece swimsuits always give me a muffin top, and tankini tops lie weird. I liked Lands End for postpartum, they have a lot of coverage, and you can customize the cup size. I also find athletic swimsuits flattering in the stomach region, but the tend to compress the chest region.
Pogo says
Trina Turk has some really cute one pieces! I found some on sale for less than $100. I like to do a really deep V because I think it distracts from the belly. You can also tie a sarong around your widest section.
I also like my Athleta tankini with the blousy top like a yoga tank.
Modcloth has some fun retro high-waisted bikinis with rouching that also work well for a little tummy.
Anonymous says
La Blanca twist front bandeau is what I ordered for that purpose. Do not pay full price, it will go on sale
Anonymous says
What labels are the best for bottles for daycare? Bonus if I can get them on amazon. Thanks!
anon says
I wouldn’t use Am*zon—it’s much easier to get what you actually want by going through the vendor’s website (speaking from experience)—and to hold them accountable when they mess up.
I like Name Bubbles.
AwayEmily says
+1 to getting them through the website. I like Oliver’s Labels but honestly i think they’re all pretty much the same.
anon says
I like Mabel’s Labels for this. Quality is equivalent to Name Bubbles, I just like the look a little better (but really it doesn’t matter!).
Anonymous says
+1 for Mabel’s.
EB0220 says
I liked Name Bubbles. In a pinch, painter’s tape works great.
Anonymous says
We use painters tape for everything! It even makes it through the dishwasher most of the time.
Anonymous says
This is OP – thank you all and will order directly through their site!
Anonymous says
Haha, we use masking tape and a sharpee! #secondbaby
AwayEmily says
Our poor second baby just has his sister’s name on most of his bottles/clothes. Luckily they all know who his sister is (despite her having a different last name) so they don’t seem to care.
Brir says
The whozems self- laminating baby bottle labels (search baby bottle labels on amazon) are cheap and held up great for my first, bottles were used 3-12 months at daycare and dishwashed and the labels stayed well enough that we had to use goo gone to remove and re-label for my 2nd.