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Updated: Jun 24, 2021 130 Comments · by

Splurge or Save Thursday: Green Tea Blotting Linens

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Boscia Green Tea Blotting Linens

It’s been years since I’ve thought about blotting papers, but the blotting papers of today are not the same as those from high school.

boscia’s Green Tea Blotting Linens remove excess oil like the blotting papers of yore but also include green tea extract, which has natural antibacterial benefits and is a “key antioxidant that soothes and protects skin from free radical damage.” A sheet or two will re-mattify your complexion without messing with your makeup — and for only a dime a sheet! Just keep a set of these in your bag for those hot and humid summer days.

A pack of 100 blotting linens is $10 at Amazon or Dermstore.

Sales of note for 11.28.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
  • Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything + free shipping
  • ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
  • Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
  • Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
  • Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
  • Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!

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About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Cb says

    Ugh, the dreaded email. The other bubble at my son’s nursery just got sent home due to a positive case, they can’t come back until 3 July. The bubbles have always been porous due to a shared entrance and shared outdoor spaces, so fingers crossed the theories on outdoor transmission holds true so the second bubble doesn’t close too.

    • Anon says

      So sorry. I was there twice with my daughter’s classes this year – in the infant class in February and again when she moved up to the Toddler class in March.

      I would be surprised if my daycare closed both bubbles if all that was shared was an entrance, and I certainly would not expect that shared outdoor spaces would trigger the bubble closure for your son. Fingers crossed for good health and low stress.

    • Pogo says

      In our case it was dependent on what the Dept of Health said. They closed the class but not the others who had entrance/outdoor contact possibly. We were also able to go back w/ a negative test.

  2. No Face says

    Parents of neurodivergent kids:

    Do your kids have high sleep needs? How much sleep do they need at night?

    My autistic 4 year old is having many meltdowns again, and I think she is extra tired. (In part because she enthusiastically plays at her special needs camp!!!) I think I need to set an early bed time and enact a strict sleep hygiene regimen.

    • Anonymous says

      Is it possible that it’s not only about sleep but also about socialization fatigue? With neurotypical kids that age, you often see meltdowns at home after they’ve held it together at school all day. More sleep can help, but building in decompression time at the end of the day before you make them do anything like sit down to dinner is also key. Also, is she hungry at pickup time? Around that age I had to hand my kid a cup of milk in the car or she’d melt down on the way home.

      • Anonymous says

        This. My kid needs a snack on the way home from school and to veg out in front of the tv or have quiet time in his room for a half hour before he’s able to have a good evening.

        • Cb says

          Yep, my kiddo needs a snack in the car and quiet time – we listen to an audiobook or the classical radio station and don’t ask him any questions.

    • Anon says

      We did only short camp days at age 4, as long camp days were too much for my kid.

    • anon says

      Yes, I think my kiddo with ADHD benefits from more sleep. It’s also really hard for him to fall asleep, which is partly due to taking stimulant meds and partly because, well, that’s how the ADHD brain works. Sleep issues are pretty common among the ADHD population.

      My experience is that neurodivergent kids do need stricter sleep schedules, and when those routines get broken, you will notice it much more than with neurotypical kids. We certainly did when our kiddo was in preschool and early elementary school.

      • Anonymous says

        this. My ADHD kid asks for sleep gummies regularly, otherwise his brain just keeps racing and he can’t sleep. He also wakes up very early and won’t go back to sleep… and oh the meltdowns when he’s tired.

    • anon says

      My 4yos (probably ADHD but not officially diagnosed) are only at camp 9-12, but at still completely exhausted when they get home. They nap for 2 hours after they get home and are sleeping 12 hours at night (we pushed bedtime about half an hour earlier than before camp started), but evening still has many meltdowns. The second week went smoother than the first, though, so I think there is some acclimatization.

    • SC says

      My son has ADHD and SPD. He has always been high sleep needs. Whatever the recommended range is for his age, he’s always been at the top end of the range. He’s 6 now and sleeps an average of 11 hours per night. Kiddo also needs a snack and some time to wind down by himself in the afternoons. After-school activities, even just swim lessons, were a disaster for us last school year. I do think there’s a component of neuro-divergent kids working harder to keep it together all day–but, who knows, I may just have an introvert with high sleep needs!

  3. Spacing Out Babies? says

    Thanks to everyone who weighed in yesterday! You all have me leaning toward waiting a few more months so the spacing would be closer to 2 years apart (current LO is 1, so that would mean ideally getting pregnant after he is 1 year and 3 months…my math skills were getting a workout reading the comments!). Of course, I have to see how DH feels about it too. He really doesn’t enjoy the baby stage like I do, so he may feel more like he wants to move out of it quickly.

    • Anonymous says

      Your husband is not the one who has to be pregnant, give birth, and nurse the baby with a slightly older baby running around, so I don’t see why it would be up to him.

      • No Face says

        In healthy marriages, when to have a child is typically discussed between the parents and the views of both parents are acknowledged and considered.

    • Spirograph says

      One of the things that was hardest for me with close spacing is that I really felt like I was missing out on my adorable 18-24 month old when I was very pregnant/caring for an infant. If you choose not to BF, it may not be as frustrating, but I remember shedding many tears over being “stuck” with the baby and not able to really engage with and focus on my toddler(s), who were growing and changing so much and still physically needed me in a way that older preschoolers might not have. In the grand scheme of things it’s a blip, and your child(ren) will *always* be changing, but just something to think about. Like I said yesterday, I find having closely spaced older kids is great, but it’s very tough at the beginning.

      • AwayEmily says

        YES totally. I still get sad about this sometimes…that period between 18 months and 2.5 years when they transform from baby into chatty little person is magical and I feel like I missed a lot of that stage with my first kid because I was so occupied by the day to day realities of a newborn + toddler.

        • Anon says

          I only have one kid but 18 months to 2.5 was my favorite age so far. It really is magical to see them start communicating and develop their own personalities but they’re still so eager to please and easily distracted when they do get mad.

      • EDAnon says

        I have kids 25 months apart and also am bummed I missed that stage. I think I would have been bummed to miss any stage (and I hate being pregnant so…).

      • Pogo says

        I have exactly 3 years between kiddos and I would agree with this. The now almost 4yo is pretty independent and I never feel “stuck” with the baby. Biggest issue I have is big bro wanting to engage with the baby while he’s nursing and baby (now almost 1, omg how?!) is verrrry distractable.

    • anon says

      I think this, as with so many things, is just based on each person’s specific experience which of course varies wildly. There are pros and cons to either choice. My first and second child are 2 years and 10 months apart in age, and that’s been mostly great. I am now pregnant with our third (and final) and this child will be 21 months younger than our second. I know this go-round will be different and have different challenges from the first time, and that is ok. There are so many reasons to go either way. One reason for me was that I felt ready to be done with pregnancies and recovering from pregnancies and that for me led to choosing to get pregnant more quickly to speed up that process. I think we all inevitably sometimes feel like “I missed out on xyz aspect of xyz stage of my child’s life” and that’s true no matter your situation; that’s just life and wanting to not miss out on a single thing, but that’s not reality no matter how many kids you have or how old they are.

  4. Anonymous says

    Wish us luck, we’re going on a flight tomorrow morning with our 2-yr-old! (nervous face emoji)

    • AnotherAnon says

      Good luck; I bet it will be great! Our flights after kiddo turned two have been the most enjoyable. They kind of know what’s going on, you can bribe them with unlimited snacks, people watching is a good pastime, and then you get to play in a new fun place for a while!

    • ifiknew says

      Good luck! I was so nervous for my 2 year old too, but he luckily fell asleep for most of the flight both times. I brought about 4 books, tons of new stickers, mini playdough (for an emergency), had my phone ready with photos and music that he likes, and lots of snacks and of course the tablet, but he doesn’t have a long attention span for TV.

    • Anon says

      I just flew with a 3.5 year old for the first time in a year and a half and age 2 was better! It’ll be fine.

  5. ifiknew says

    I have a 24 month old, about to be 25 months. Someone posted yesterday that it got easier when the younger one was able to communicate needs and engage. I know 4 and 2 is often when people say things got 90% easier, but (only one month out from these marks for both of them), not quite there. It seems like my kids want to interact, but they don’t quite know how to co-exist peacefully together like the younger one always wants what the older one has, my older one is into much more advanced tv shows and books than the younger one can handle. There’s just not a lot of activity overlap for the two of them (except for the playground). Does anyone have any ideas or tips?

    I know it will just get better with time, no not sure what I’m asking for, maybe just commiseration or venting.

    • Anon says

      For me, it got much better at 3 and 5. I’m not saying this to discourage you – the opposite, to encourage you that your situation sounds very normal, even though it’s rough. The book Siblings Without Rivalry was helpful; even though it talks about older siblings, I started to practice some do the strategies when they were tiny, and it helped me feel like I had a game plan for helping them as they grow.

    • AwayEmily says

      It helped my kids to have some time when they “had” to play together, if that makes sense. We have a rule in our family that when the kids are done with dinner they can go play, but the adults will sit at the table and chat for awhile longer. So they know we are unavailable for playing and they are on their own. It’s in that post-dinner period that they first started playing together regularly — they had full stomachs, were generally in a good mood, and it was a nice routine. Sometimes when they were younger I’d start them off with a little hint (“bye, have fun, maybe you can play family?”). I do think that at that age, pretend games are easier than anything with toys since toys become a source of conflict (one of the reasons playgrounds are easier than home — fewer toys). So: family, restaurant, superhero, etc. At first it was only five or ten minutes, but now (at 3.5 and 5) they will go off for quite awhile together after dinner. It’s a skill that takes time, I think.

      • Mary Moo Cow says

        We do this, too! Especially in spring and summer, we turn them loose outside while we have a few quiet minutes to finish dinner.

      • Pogo says

        oh, the day when someone else can pretend to be a dinosaur and roar and stomp around the house!

        • AwayEmily says

          The absolute best development is that we no longer have to go with them on bathroom trips. Neither of them likes to go to the bathroom by themselves during dinner (to be fair it’s kind of far away from the table), so they have a pact to accompany each other whenever one of them has to go. One of them sits on the bench outside the bathroom and chats while the other uses the toilet, and we just get to sit and continue eating.

    • Mary Moo Cow says

      I have commiseration and a suggestion. I put a lot of stock in milestones and would end up frustrated when, on day one past the 2 year mark, it wasn’t suddenly easier. However, a few weeks or months later, I would realize that things had been better recently. So give it a bit more time and don’t be surprised if it takes a few weeks past the 2 year mark. FWIW, it got much, much better (meaning, my two played sweetly together most of the time) closer to the 5 and 3 markers. Now, when my almost 4 year old asks me to read a book, I can ask her to have 6 year old do it, and they are both happy.
      Also, just let them figure it out. Consider whether you’re constantly intervening at the first hint of a squabble or whether you’re pausing to let them try to figure out interacting for a minute and intervening if there is violence. 2 years old is still frequently in parallel play, and 4 is old enough to want to play with others but also see everything as mine, mine, mine. My solution to that was a few separate toys (in their room and in the common area) and mostly shared toys.

    • Anon says

      Hm, my kids play best together when it’s totally unstructured (just over 2 and 4.5). So I’d say avoid TV or games or puzzles (like those are actively hidden away) and just let them run around. Like with a bouncy ball they can toss or costumes.

      They also play hide and seek together. Definitely chase (not tag). Scooter walks. My younger’s super verbal (she’s my third so I’m allowed to say that now haha – our earliest talker) and that DOES help though so there might just be a breakthrough coming really soon for you!

    • anon says

      Working on independence will help. There are a lot of big milestones that can happen during ages 2 and 4 yo.

      The 4 yo should working on being able to go to the bathroom completely on his own. By 2.5 yo, your second could very well be potty trained. That’s a huge milestone. No more diapers. Amazing.

      Both kids should be able to climb into the car and put their own straps on, even if they need help with buckles. That’s huge.

      Both kids should be able to put on their own coats and shoes. Your 4 yo should be able to get himself dressed.

      Both kids should be close to being able to stay with you in a parking lot and not run into traffic (of course you can’t trust them, but it shouldn’t be as bad as at 1 and 3).

      As far as playing independently, it’s a slow crawl that seems to improve when you’re not paying attention, like a watched pot. Kids slowly start playing more independently longer in tiny increments. You have to work on teaching them the skills to resolve disagreements themselves. My 4 and 7.5 can now disappear into the playroom for 5 hours and play happily. It’s remarkable how we got here from 5 or 10 minutes at a time at ages 2 and 4.5 yo. Lots of solo playtime during the pandemic helped–it’s a learned skill that improves with practice.

    • anon says

      When working on independent play, consider giving them an activity that they can do in parallel. A tub of water on the patio with lots of cups, scoops, spoons, and strainers could keep my two busy for hours. Add bubbles and dinosaur figurines and it’s a whole new game. Add floating boats and it’s new again. Allow them to add dirt or sand and they’re thrilled, if messy.

      A sandbox is similar. Endless fun.

      My two also did well with a play kitchen and a few baby dolls. It was one of the first games they could manage to pretend together.

      • OP says

        Thank you, this is so helpful. My younger one always seems to want what the older one has in these types of activities. They both love a tub of ice for example and each has his own set of bowls and spoons and play side by side, but it’s more exciting even if the older one has an identical spoon. Daycare this fall will help the younger one??

        • AwayEmily says

          Don’t know if your 2yo is up for it yet, but we have a rule (taught by daycare, embraced by us) for when you want something someone else is using: you ask “can I have it when you’re done?” And then they say “yes.” That’s it. It took a loooooong time with us intervening (“no, I won’t let you take that from her. Do you want to ask if you can have it when she’s done?”) but now they use it with each other about 80% of the time and it really does seem to defuse tension/reduce the grabbies.

          • GCA says

            Our daycare taught the kids to ask ‘In how many minutes can I have it?’ (Usually the small one will ask, the big one will throw out some improbable number – 26 minutes, 12 minutes – that the small one accepts, I set a timer, and by the seventh or eighth minute she has forgotten she asked for it in the first place. I foresee this will be more contentious as the preschooler develops a better grasp of numbers and time.)

          • Anonymous says

            We do the same and at almost 3 it’s really clicking. It’s also still very helpful with the 6 year old who all of a sudden wants whatever the almost 3 year old has (???).

    • CCLA says

      I think I’m the poster from yesterday (or at least one of them) that said it got easier with younger DD communicating. FWIW, I don’t mean it got amazing at 2 and 4, but that’s when it STARTED getting way easier, with a constant improvement from there on over the last year. Now at almost 3 and almost 5, they share so many interests, but a year ago it was maybe 50/50, and a year ago is when they really started playing together in earnest (or really March 2020, because suddenly they were home for 2 months with just each other and dad to play with, which probably accelerated their relationship!). To that end, I do think that having that time where they sort of had to play together helped, so agree with above posters that time where the kids are just together with parental supervision and not direct involvement is awesome for working on that. A few practical tips that have worked for us, take or leave:
      -We moved and rearranged so that they share a sleep room and have a play room, rather than each having their own room, and that has also worked really well to foster togetherness. They disappear together into the play room for an hour at a time without us. When younger DD was 2, we did keep a few things up high that were choking hazards and brought those out for older kid only during younger’s nap time.
      -Toys that they both play a ton with are little people, nugget, magnatiles, duplos, and play food stuff. In the last few months, coloring has also become a favorite, but younger DD wasn’t too into that until maybe 2.5. Older DD likes puzzles too, and younger isn’t much into that, but they just parallel play sometimes and that’s also great.
      From someone about a year out from where you are, it’s gotten so much better for us in this last year, I am hopeful for you!

  6. Anonymous says

    We are trying to take a short trip in August and still haven’t booked anything. Does anyone have recommendations for somewhere we can go traveling from DC for a few days/week? Prefer to drive. Will have our then 9 month old and usually take beach trips so looking for something like that or a resort with a nice pool. Is it even fun to take a baby this age on vacation?

    • anonamama says

      Sea Colony in Bethany (if you can snag a rental!) Early September at the Delaware beaches is also wonderful – booking may be easier then – but pools harder to find. Trip can be fun if you and hubby switch off to have naptimes to do your own thing. A place with a balcony is good once baby goes to sleep.

    • anon says

      I think a lot is booked up. You might try the Omni or Greenbrier in Virginia.

        • Anonymous says

          Really? My friend, who I consider my “fancy friend”, went there this spring and raved about it. I can’t say enough good things about the Omni Homestead or Omni Bedford Springs (2.5hrs from DC) in Pennsylvania. They’re expensive though.

          • Anon says

            Not the person you’re replying to, but I’ve always thought of the Greenbrier as the kind of resort that appeals to a certain kind of person who likes to show off things they perceive as fancy. My BIL (who is not actually that wealthy) is like this. The people I know who are actually wealthy prefer much more understated luxury and find the flashy places over the top and tacky. The Yelp reviews are very mixed and many of them also mention it caters to a very MAGA crowd. I have the money and love to travel, but can’t say I’ve ever had any interest in going there because it just doesn’t seem like the kind of place I would enjoy.

          • West Egg says

            The response at 12:51 is straight out of the Great Gatsby.

            I enjoyed the Greenbrier and I am 100% not a showy person. Slight preference for the Homestead, but I liked both.

        • Anon says

          I’m surprised to hear you say that. We actually prefer the Greenbrier to the Homestead and find both enjoyable. We usually go to one or the other for anniversaries, and we usually bring our kiddo with and just get a babysitter for our actual anniversary dinner. And for the poster above, I am not the type that likes to show off being fancy so I’m not sure that’s it. If I wanted to be super fancy, I would go to the Nemacolin or Salamandar resorts, I think of Greenbrier and Homestead as expensive but not crazy, having grown up in VA so it’s been something a lot of people I know have done at least once.

          • Anonymous says

            I think of the Greenbrier as that place my employer has events that they want to pass off as fancy. The decor is oppressively dated, the food is unimpressive and overpriced, and you’re pretty much a captive there. My colleagues all feel the same way, even those who grew up in VA.

    • Anon says

      No advice on the DC area, but 9 months is a wonderful age to take a trip with a kid. We’ve traveled a lot with our kid and have enjoyed all our trips, but that was the only age where it really didn’t feel much different than a pre-kid trip. Baby is old enough to be on a reliable sleeping and eating schedule but young enough to have no opinions about what you do and to spend a large chunk of the day asleep. I second the advice to trade shifts supervising the baby and to get a balcony room so whoever is on baby duty can still enjoy the nice view.

    • anonamama says

      Oh another +1 to Omni Bedford Springs and also, Bavarian Inn in WV is AMAZING. Wonderful staff, amenities and food. Pool is an infinity pool looking over the Potomac River.

      • not OP says

        Oooh, the Bavarian Inn looks great. Odd question, but does it have taxidermy? Kiddo is terrified of dead animals.

    • Anon says

      many moons ago my family went on a trip, I think it was to a Hyatt near the Chesapeake. We had a great time!

    • OP says

      These are so helpful, thank you! I have super low expectations but just want to do something during this daycare week off.

  7. Stay Calm says

    Two years – TWO YEARS – of IVF for #2 and I got the absolute faintest positive line this morning. My blood test is not until Wednesday (FET was last week). How in the world am I supposed to get work done in these circumstances?!? I legit can’t focus. Please send me all the positive juju, light the incense, break out the crystals. It’s early – I know – but this is a major step.

    • AnonIVF says

      Fellow IVF mama, and I’ll be thinking of you! Remember that it is out of your control now, so enjoy a nice, relaxing weekend and do things that bring you happiness. (Wondering if you’re the same one who posted last week about a transfer in Boston?)

    • TheElms says

      It is totally fine to not be able to focus. Do the minimum. It will be ok. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and sending you all the good wishes.

    • Aunt Jamesina says

      Congratulations! I was probably completely useless at work the day I found out. I know it’s near impossible to relax at all, but you’re pregnant! Best wishes.

  8. Doula question says

    Do you tip your doula? When I signed up and paid the deposit, there was an option for adding a tip. I was a bit flustered and didn’t add a tip then, but should I tip her? I see her as part of my medical team (and I wouldn’t tip my OB or pelvic floor PT) but perhaps I’m thinking of this wrong? I’m in the US but I’m not originally from here so American tipping customs are a bit mysterious to me. I haven’t had the baby yet so I haven’t paid the remainder of the bill yet.

    • Anon says

      This strikes me as very odd. I probably wouldn’t tip cash — maybe a gift after baby if I felt a real connection? But in general, no, I would not tip a medical/care professional for this.

    • Nonnymouse says

      I actually wonder if they are using a platform like square that defaults to tip? But yes, no tip for the doula.

      • Aunt Jamesina says

        Yeah, I’ve seen tips pop up everywhere lately because of this. It’s so awkward.

    • OP says

      OK, thank you everyone. I’m glad to hear this is the consensus since I was worrying she was judging me for being some kind of cheapskate. :) I will probably get her a gift after baby is here.

      • Allie says

        No gift! My doula got *me* a gift after the baby was here. I paid her fee and gave a glowing reference.

  9. AnonATL says

    My in-laws have been here since Monday night (two days earlier than originally planned). I’m working all this week while my husband takes time off and yet I’m still the one playing hostess. My MIL also can’t manage to close a door without slamming it right when my son is napping.
    That’s all. Rant over.

    • Lily says

      Tell your husband to step up? Why let him get away with it? They’re his parents and he took time off.

      • AnonATL says

        Oh he has been doing a pretty good job managing them and keeping them occupied. Anytime they visit I get stressed regardless.

        • Anonymous says

          This is why we go to my MIL and stay in a hotel. We do not allow her to visit us.

    • Anonymous says

      Can you get out of the house? Go close a door and pretend you have tons of urgent work calls to do? Good luck!!

    • ANon says

      When they leave the house to run an errand, change the locks, turn off all the lights, and shut the curtains.

      Just kidding. (Sort of.)

    • Walnut says

      I’d be running so fast to my favorite coffee shop to work. BYEEEEEEEE everyone – see you in nine hours!!

      (I’d also be a bit tempted to sneak in a couple hours of PTO to enjoy some luxurious alone time as well.)

    • Anonymous says

      If it makes you feel any better… my MIL doesn’t slam doors, but she does sometimes bring art that she’s painted and nail it to the walls while I’m at work. FUN.

      • Patent pending says

        Hahaha. My in laws are SO irritating but this is next level. Thank you for sharing.

      • Pogo says

        Amazing. Oddly, I actually do like my MIL’s art and we have some of it in our house! But that truly is next level.

      • Anon says

        Oh wow. These threads always make me appreciate my MIL, who can be annoying but never does anything like this.

      • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

        Solidarity and also, thank you for sharing this.

        My MIL drives to see us (~10 hours)…and literally brings a grocery store with her. Of HER snacks/things to eat. Which are all sugary treats. Like cookies, chocolatey trail mix, syrups for her tea (so her tea is like 99% sugarfree hazelnut syrup). She literally fills half our pantry and some other counter space with this crap. And I like treats, but geezus, lady eat some real food….

        • Anon says

          Yeah that is not at all the same, because it doesn’t affect you. Just let her eat what she wants. Who cares.

          • Anonymous says

            I have relatives who do this and it’s super annoying. I have a tiny house and a tiny kitchen and I cannot stand having my space taken over by their clutter. It’s stressful enough having extra people making noise and tracking in dirt, and then they have to leave their cr@p everywhere too.

          • AnotherAnon says

            It absolutely does affect her when kiddo has a meltdown because he can’t have grandmas Oreos. Ask me how I know.

      • Anon says

        Wow that is next level indeed! And I say this as someone with an extremely pushy mom (who was miffed that I didn’t choose the baby name she preferred and who took it upon herself to invite people to my wedding who had not made the initial cut and could not fit in our ceremony venue).

  10. Anon says

    Since I’m not telling anyone in real life yet – I got a very faint, but definitely there, positive pregnancy test this morning!!! This was our last try before moving to IVF, so I am over the moon! DH is excited too, but also very much in shock since I think he was mentally gearing up for IVF whereas I was doing my best to stick my head in the sand a bit.

    In addition to excited, I’m also one part terrified because I have a 2 year old and in the good moments I can see how good it will be in the near future. That said, I don’t feel nearly as terrified / “what have I done” as when I got pregnant with kid 1 who was very much planned and wanted also. So that’s a good sign!

    On the kid spacing discussion, kids will be 2 years 9 months apart if all goes well. We had hoped they would be a bit closer to 2 years apart because while I find the baby stage hard, I saw the benefit of getting through it, but then we didn’t get pregnant. I think this will be good too because older kid will be in preschool part time and more independent. I’m hoping that will make it easier to focus on the new baby like I did with the first kid at least some of the time. But I know it will still be different though.

    • Anon says

      Congratulations! This is such great news!

      You mention that this was your last try before moving to IVF. I assume you were doing IUIs? I’ve just failed my third IUI and trying to decide whether to do another, or move to IVF. Do you mind sharing how many IUIs you did? Congrats again, and thanks for sharing!

      • AnonOP says

        I’m 39, our baseline testing after 6 months of trying showed some concerns with my husband’s sperm and some concerns with my ovarian reserve. My insurance covers both IUI and IVF making the out of pocket cost for each comparable (including medication), but only covers a limited number of tries total. Our RE recommended going straight to IVF based on our labs, but said we could also try up to 3 IUIs and if that didn’t work move to IVF. RE said in her experience that if IUI doesn’t work in three tries its much less likely to work ever. Given that 3 IUIs would have eaten up most of our insurance coverage, we decided to go straight to IVF.

        If I were in your shoes, I would probably move to IVF because, at least as it was presented to me, the odds of success for IVF if you can get to the stage with a genetically normally embryo are much higher than the odds of success for IUI. And if you can’t get a genetically normal embryo then IUI likely wasn’t going to work either. We were very fortunate that cost wasn’t a factor in deciding between IUI and IVF.

      • Aunt Jamesina says

        I ended up being approved by insurance to go to IVF after two failed IUIs, even though the initial plan was three (which seems to be the standard recommendation for most people). No regrets. I feel like most people I read about online wish they hadn’t tried so many IUIs first. Good luck!

      • Pogo says

        Agree with AnonOP. My insurance covered IVF and IUI similarly regardless of how long we tried, and we had no male factor issues so RE said IUI was a waste.

    • anon says

      Congratulations! I had a m/c with baby 2, and my kids ended up being 2 yrs 10 months instead of my hoped-for 2 years. And you know what? It all works out! They are so lovely together and yours will be too :)

  11. Ellen Parsons says

    How do I clean a pack-and-play mattress? It has a board in it, so it seems like I shouldn’t just throw it my washing machine and hope for the best.

      • Anonymous says

        Yes, it’s spot clean only. To avoid the need to clean the mattress, I put a waterproof pad under the sheet.

    • Anon says

      Maybe we’re gross but we never did anything but wipe it down. It never got that dirty though. I don’t recall ever having a blowout diaper in the PNP and the one time she got sick with a vomiting bug and puked all over, we were in a hotel PNP (sorry future hotel guests).

  12. Mommasgottasleep says

    Moms of twins: do you have any parenting book recommendations? Lucies list seemed kind of basic. I already have a kid so I’ve read How to Talk and a few others. I’m wondering if there are books specific to parenting twins.

    • anon says

      We never found any that were particularly useful. What to Do When You’re Having Two was somewhat helpful for the newborn/infant stage for tips that made life easier, but what we really wanted (and couldn’t find) was a book about the toddler/preschool age and how best to manage the twin dynamic.

    • Anon says

      i wish there were some good ones, but also haven’t found anything great. i read siblings without rivalry. Lucie’s List was helpful from the gear perspective, but that’s it

  13. More Sleep Would Be Nice says

    It’s been a week around here, and for many reasons we are currently in between pediatricians (hope to close this gap by tomorrow). Need advise.

    DS is 6 months, and we started solids last weekend. He’s taking them in, but he also is dealing with a cough, so he is spitting up the purees (along with milk) like 30 mins or more after eating. Obviously I will consult a ped but has anyone had this experience? Not sure if it’s the cough triggering this or something else. He’s been deemed a “happy spitter” generally (but I always worried if it was mild reflux…). TIA!

    • AnotherAnon says

      I’m definitely not an expert but we started with cereal for a week or so first and then offered purées. Does he sit upright for 30 minutes after he eats? That can help, if it’s reflux. But it also sounds like he may just be sick. Sorry. Hope the new ped gives you some insight!

    • Anonymous says

      My LO is a bit older, so she’s more used to solids, but she always spits up more when she has a cough or stuffy nose. We’re in the process of getting a reflux diagnosis – definitely more than a happy spitter, but it’s been hard to convince the pediatrician that she needs to be seen and the projectile vomiting isn’t COVID. Big eyeroll.

    • Anonymous says

      If he’s happy, eating well, and gaining weight, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s part of learning to eat. If he actually throws up, trust me, you’ll know. My kiddo had her first stomach bug around 9 months, and it was very clearly not just spitting up.

    • EDAnon says

      My older one had a crazy sensitive gag reflex and would cough stuff up. He always gained weight okay (he’s skinny but he came that way). I wouldn’t worry too much. You could pull back on the solids for a bit until the cough goes away.

  14. Anon says

    Just got back from maternity leave and am headed back to in-person court sooner than expected. Does anyone have a recommendation for a court outfit postpartum? I’m thinking a black dress + blazer + Spanx is going to be my best bet, but none of my black dresses currently fit… and the dresses I normally wear ( J Crew resume dress) are probably not going to be super flattering even in a bigger size…

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      YMMV, but I found that spanx rolled up at the top. I found some maternity biker shorts on Amazon that did a better job for this purpose.

      And your outfit sounds great. I hold on to a ton of weight while BF, and am currently 6 months PP. I just bought a couple of cheap dresses from ON and Amazon in a bigger size and throw my regular blazers over them (which are sadly a bit tight, but it is what it is). Maybe you can do a black dress version of this?

      • Anonanonanon says

        Haha yes when I was post-partum spanx just rolled down my belly like a window shade. Almost comical if I wasn’t so hormonal at the time

        • Anonymous says

          I have never understood why people like Spanx. They roll up, roll down, and make fat rolls at the waistband where none normally exist. Non-compressive bike shorts are better for smoothing under dresses.

          • Anonymous says

            I like Spanx becuase I buy the ones that go up to just under my breasts. Something that stops in the middle of my waist is not at all flattering on me under a dress – they seem to stop at my widest point. Even if I don’t muffin over them, there is a weird bulge from the top of the shorts that is usually visible under my clothes. I’ve never had a problem with Spanx rolling down or creating bulges that aren’t there. I also don’t buy super tight ones. They’re not meant to be uncomfortable.

    • Anonymous says

      Dress styles seem to be moving from the fitted sheath silhouette to a looser shift silhouette. This may be tricky with a blazer, but it would work with a shrunken/cropped blazer and a not-too-baggy dress. Bonus: no Spanx.

    • Anonymous says

      When I returned from maternity leave, my blazers and shirts still fit. Therefore, I purchased pants and skirts up a size. Although they were not an exact match, I was able to find options that were close enough to my existing suit jackets for the short term need.

      • ElisaR says

        ThredUp is a good source for that whole “buying a size up for a hopefully temporary time period”

    • Anon says

      YMMV but capital hill style linked to a Karen Kane dress yesterday that looked like it would be very flattering on my post-covid body, which is larger than my post-partum body ever was. That and a non-matching cropped blazer I would think would be fine for any sort of trial court, but you know your audience.

    • Anonymous says

      I second the recommendation for shift style or more flowey dresses (relative to super tailored dresses) with a blazer on top. That’s what I’ve been wearing to court since I returned from maternity leave…5 years ago.

  15. anon says

    how do you handle when 3 year old is crying and doesn’t want to get into the water during a swim lesson? or doesn’t want to complete the lesson?

    • Anonymous says

      Try again at the next lesson. If she won’t get in the water by the end of the session, don’t sign up for the next session. Wait a few months and try again. Even if they learn to “swim” at 3, they aren’t really water-safe until they are a few years older. Swim lessons at 3 are to learn the safety rules and get comfortable in the water, and they can’t do that if they are screaming.

      Is a parent in the water with her?

    • Anon says

      Parents have different approaches but I would quit and try again when she’s older. I understand the theory of pushing through certain fears but I think water is a little different because you could create a lifelong fear of it which would be much worse than just delaying swimming lessons for a year or two. My 3 year old is terrified of water and I don’t see us even attempting swim lessons until she gets considerably less fearful. I wasn’t even put in swim lessons until I was 6 and I love the water and am a very strong swimmer, so I don’t really understand this push for early swimming lessons, especially among parents who don’t have a pool and don’t regularly spend time at un-lifeguarded pools. If you live in CA or FL and are always hanging out at backyard pools I can see how it would be different, but we’re in the Midwest and have to be very intentional about taking our child anywhere near water.

    • OP says

      thanks all. DS is in water with swim teacher at apartment building pool, along with twin. DS generally loves water/swimming with us. we live in an area where many people have pools/we hope to buy a house with a pool so figured this is important, but i guess we will try one more time and then try again.

      • Anonymous says

        If you are not getting in the water with him, I’d try that before giving up.

        Swim lessons are not going to drown-proof any 3-year-old, so you still have to take the same precautions if you buy a house with a pool whether or not he can swim. Fence with childproof gate latch, pool alarm, etc.

    • Anonymous says

      We kept going. At times, my child sat out the entire lesson while others he agreed to participate part of the way through the lesson. Eventually he looked forward to swimming lessons. The thing that helped the most was spending time in the pool with him.

      • EDAnon says

        We kept going too. He often attended. The other thing is that we switched instructors (this was a swim school so that was possible). That often helped. He worked well with 75% of the instructors but there were a few (usually newer, less confident ones) that he just couldn’t get on board with.

  16. Anon says

    just need to vent. DH had oral surgery yesterday. In advance he shared he would be uncomfortable for 5 days. He failed to mention that he basically can’t do much for 5 days in terms of helping with our young twins bc he can’t lift them or raise his heart rate. he has many many unused sick days, so he easily could’ve scheduled this on a monday so we’d have childcare for the week. of course right before that we finally see a house we want to put in an offer on. Yes, DH I understand you are in pain today, but it’s not like after my c-section and blood transfusion i got to sit around watching tv all day. you can force yourself to be ‘on’ for two hours to figure out all this house stuff, while i try to work, and then take care of the kids for the next 5 days

    • Anonymous says

      Ugh, commiseration. My husband had verrrrrry minor surgery when our daughter was a toddler and turned into a helpless tyrant. Men are babies.

    • Anonanonanon says

      Ugh I’m sorry. What I do during these times (that is probably not healthy) is tell myself next time I’m not feeling well, I’m going to do it husband-style and be like “whelp sorry doctor said I can’t, I’m going to go lay down!” and that rage fantasy gets me through!
      (Side note: I’ve done that before and he didn’t have a problem with it so why was I martyring in the past?!)

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