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It’s pool season, which means a lot of wet swimsuits and towels.
I’ve been using Skip Hop’s Grab and Go Wet/Dry Bag since my oldest started parent-and-baby swim classes. This handy bag features a generously-sized zippered pocket for wet or dirty items and a separate outside mesh pocket for clean or dry ones. I often used the outside pocket for things that get wet but dry quickly, like goggles, flip flops, and shower supplies.
There’s also a sturdy snap strap so you can attach it to your stroller for summer adventures on the go!
You can get this bag at Target or Amazon for $14.99. I have the gray chevron pattern pictured, but there are other patterns available as well.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
Is anyone here in the MD suburbs of DC, and if so, what public pools do you recommend for toddlers? Thanks!
MD Anon says
PG or MoCo?
TheElms says
Bethesda has a separate toddler pool and grass and some shade, but its not fancy at all.
Spirograph says
All the MoCo Dept of Rec pools I’ve been to are really good. We most recently went to the Wheaton-Glenmont outdoor one, which has a fenced toddler pool, plus a shallow area with lots of fun splash stuff, small slides etc. My only complaint is that there is very little shade. Bethesda and Germantown are also nice.
Anonymous says
We go to the Glenmont pool all the time but we’ve heard MLK is good too. Highly recommend the Germantown splash park (I’ve heard the pool is good too).
Anonymous says
We live in DC proper and can I just say the public pools are one of my favorite parts of living in this area, they are free for DC residents, super cheap for non residents, and just so much fun for my kids. Obviously the cost of living around here is high but the amenities are a perk! Where I was grew up (rural/suburban PA), the only pools available were either backyard pools or country clubs.
Anonymous says
Paging the poster looking for PB backpacks on sale – Pottery Barn Teen has some as low as $17
https://www.pbteen.com/shop/sale/backpacks+premier-event/producttype-m-product-type-ff0010171ffe20-1/?sortBy=lowestPrice%20asc
Anonymous says
Actually the Kids line has some on sale too – look in the sale section.
anon says
Thanks!
Audible says
Heading out on a road trip this weekend with a six year old. I was considering downloading a book from Audible to listen to as it will only be him and I. However, I am stuck on what books would be engaging for him but would not be too annoying for me. Any suggestions? Would the One and Only Ivan be appropriate for his age?
Cb says
I think the fact that they are professionally voiced makes them easier listening for parents. We like the Harry and the Dinosaurs series, maybe Harry Potter if that’s something your kid would be interested in.
Anon for this says
Harry Potter is very fun.
Actually, on a long ride with a younger kid (probably more like 3 or 4?), there’s the famous line, ‘You’re a wizard, Harry!’
Well, I didn’t think my kid was paying attention, but he started asking to listen to ‘The Lizard Book’ as he fell asleep. And then it hit me… my kid legitimately thought this was about all the cool things that a kid who turned into a Lizard could do. He had no idea what a Wizard was.. so he assumed it was Lizard.
Anon says
Ha that’s so cute. Can totally see my 3 year old doing the same thing.
Realist says
Mercy Watson series, possibly. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Escape to Witch Mountain (then watch the cheesy movie later).
Realist says
Apparently there is a newer movie of Escape to Witch Mountain, I was talking about the 1975 one. My 6 year old loved the movie and I also read the book to her.
Mary Moo Cow says
My 5 and 3 year old loved Mercy Watson audiobooks! We also love The Frances audio collection, narrated by the mom from Mary Poppins.
Anonymous says
Peter and the Wolf! our favorite, and we normally dislike audio books.
NYCer says
The early books in the Harry Potter series are enjoyable at that age. The story gets a bit scary as the series progresses, but the first few books are not scary.
anon says
Zoey and Sassafras is our plan for weekend road trip with a 4 and 5 yo. (Also Princess in Black, but I think that skews younger and is also definitely closer to the line of annoying for adults.)
AwayEmily says
I didn’t know they had audiobooks of Zoey and Sassafrass…that’s great! My kids adore those; will check it out.
anon says
The box set on Audible only counts as one credit!
Anon says
We did The One and Only Ivan audiobook on a car trip with my 4 and 7 yos. It was okay, but a bit slow. At the beginning I had to pull up a silverback gorilla on my phone because neither of them was understanding the story.
I think you’d have more luck with stories like Charlotte’s Web or any of the Roald Dahls.
Both my kids did enjoy Harry Potter on audiobook, but it took them a bit to sort out which character was which. The 7 yo understood a lot more than the 4 yo. Both needed to read it a second time to really get it.
Anonymous says
My 6 year old really enjoyed Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing on a recent road trip.
EP-er says
We loved all of the Roald Dahl books at that age. And The Hoboken Chicken Emergency, which we listen to annually now. The first time I almost had to pull over I was laughing so hard.
The narrators are so important — maybe get a few in case you can’t stand the first one?
AwayEmily says
We got a bunch of CDs of Arthur for $1 each at a used bookstore and my 3 and 5yo are pretty into them. Definitely worth a quick browse there and/or at at the library before you pay for Audible (I find their prices to be outrageous).
Anonymous says
I just did a road trip with my 5 and 7 y/o. Our library had individual audio books and they were a HUGE hit. Idk if there are other brands but at our library they are “playaway.” I took out Judy Moody, Pinkalicious, Amelia Bedelia, Nancy Drew, and a couple of American Girl stories. My kids loved having their very own setup and I loved that it wasn’t tied to an iPad that would turn into games ;).
DLC says
The How to Train Your Dragon series is hilarious.
DLC says
How to Train Your Dragon (the whole series) is pretty hilarious and very well done on audiobook.
I also really liked Nim’s Island, The Inquisitor’s Tale, and the Aru Shah series. Beverly Cleary books are also well liked here, but not so much by my husband.
audio says
Charlotte’s Web and the Mouse and the Motorcycle were good audiobooks for my kids around that age.
Anon says
Long time reader, infrequent poster. I have twin toddlers, and I fear they are going to break me. They turned 2 last month, and I am struggling so hard with the feeling like life is just going to be hard forever. They are a mess in restaurants or public, non-enclosed spaces. They were a late in life surprise, so I’ve done toddlers before, but it just feels so much harder and like the “freedom” stage is so far away right now. After being in a place where life was so easy, I find myself longing for the independence of just my big kids. Also, all our friends have older kids, so I feel like when we socialize, all the big kids are in a big independent pack, while my friends are sitting and chatting, and my partner and I are chasing illogical little people. I love them dearly, I just need some words of encouragement that we will get through this stage, and I will be able to eat in a restaurant and leave at the same time as the rest of my family at some point in the future.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Commiseration!! I find the toddler stage so so hard, harder than the baby stage (mine were good sleepers, luckily). They are adorable but so much energy and irrationality, which is hard for me as someone who likes rational adult conversations! And twins must be even harder.
It doesn’t feel like it now, but this stage will end. I look at my 5 year old now, and while he’s still challenging in his own way, I can take him places and tell him things and he will understand! And he doesn’t run away from me in public. There is a just a lowered constant vigilance as they grow up. Which you know, but it’s definitely hard in the moment. I think in even 1 year, for sure 2, you will be at a much easier stage. And then they will have each other for company.
And as for friends, my friends are all in the same stage as us, so lots of chasing and not much socializing, and it just is what it is. Can you make some toddler parent friends to commiserate?
Anonymous says
You will!! For now, stop trying. Twin toddlers don’t go to restaurants. Just don’t. You know it doesn’t work for your family right now, it is not forever.
anon says
I think that’s the hardest part – twin toddlers who have older siblings somewhat have to go at the pace of the big kids. Staying home for the next year just isn’t feasible. We have K graduation, sports practices after school and games on the weekends, plus random other obligations. Sometimes my husband or I will stay home with the twins, which is not our preference or always fair to the older kids. We do switch off and hire sitters as much as we can to get a break or if the timing is really bad for the twins, but there’s of course a cost and availability factor.
In some ways, it was easier during the pandemic because there wasn’t anywhere to go. As things open up, I’m realizing how tough it is to have tag-a-long babies at the pace of elementary kids, and just feeling a little down about it all.
Anon says
If you have the recourse, you could go in for more help.
An au pair could be a really useful set of extra hands with twin 2 yos. She could mind them so you could enjoy your time with friends at parties, and help with the hauling and gathering of toddler stuff. There’s a cost, but it may result in more freedom and less stress.
Anon says
*Resources, not recourse.
avocado says
Especially if you have multiple older kids, it is just not feasible to have both parents and younger siblings attend all of the older kids’ events. Kindergarten graduation, yes, bring the whole family. Sports practices? Just drop ’em off. Games? Divide and conquer; one parent attends.
What I noticed with my daughter’s peers is that parents only tended to drag the whole family along for the first season of the oldest kid’s sport/activities. Her teammates with older siblings usually just had one parent attend, and the other parent was usually playing chauffeur to the older kid. (The one exception was the family that was convinced that their middle child was going to the Olympics and made the older and younger kids quit their own sports to watch the chosen one compete. Yuck.) For teammates who were the oldest child, the whole family stopped tagging along in the second season. For the state championship or other important one-time events like an annual piano recital or one performance of the school play, it was more likely that the whole family would attend if available.
anon says
Since there are 2 older kids, it’s not even a matter of “everyone attends” – it’s usually that we are juggling drop offs/pick ups for two big kids. And it’s not like we have a ton of activities! Each kid picks one sport and one instrument per season – but the time commitment for sports, in particular, add up the older they get. All I need to know for my own mental health is a count-down for when I can have a tag-a-long kid(s) who will play on an adjoining playground without killing him/herself that I can keep an eye on while eyeballing the edge of a field — or sit for 30 minutes if the whole family wants to grab dinner outside at a local restaurant and let me tell you, 18 months ain’t it!
TheElms says
I have a just 2 year old and you’re right its hard. And I only have 1. I have friends with kids that are approaching 3 and I can see it is already so much better. They listen and generally follow directions. They have stopped dashing into the road unexpectedly for the most part.
Are there any playgrounds with fences near you? Around me often at bigger playgrounds there is a big kids area and then a fenced little kid area. Would all the parents sit in the fenced little kid area. You wouldn’t have to chase as much, the big kids would still get to play, and you could probably talk more with the parents. DH and I also trade off watching our toddler when we are also wanting to have an adult conversation. So I’ll talk to my friends for 10-15 minutes and then we switch. So give it a few more months and I think you’ll start to more clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel.
For restaurants, I’ve picked ones near a playground or field and I’ve had good luck having my husband go order for us while I took toddler to the playground for 20 minutes and we came back just as the food was arriving. Toddler sat to eat and then we got the check and left. Would something like that work? Maybe the big kids would enjoy the time without their little siblings and to get focused parent time. And then the next time you go and DH trade who goes to the playground.
Anonymous says
It will get easier. I don’t have twin toddlers but have a friend that does (plus an older sibling). It got immensely better when they turned three and you saw their bond and how they gravitated to playing with each other. And then crazy better At 4. It’s still the normal craziness of 3 kids, but I think you’re in the thick of it. Are there any twin support groups in your area? She found it really helped to talk to and hang out with other twin families.
Ifiknew says
Our son (2nd child) also turned 2 last month and feel all this so hard. No advice but following.
Anon says
I have just turned 3 year old twins and they are our only so first of all hats off to you with also having older kids. We took them to restaurants pre covid but haven’t since. I do a lot of solo parenting and while it’s still has plenty of challenges, they are much better listeners and not running around me worried they are going to lose a limb all the time. I do think the fact that you spend so much time with people only have older kids makes it harder. Depending on your covid comfort level though many 12+ are vaccinated and i know there is a cost, but what about bringing along a parents helper sometimes- like a kid who isn’t old enough to babysit but could chase after the kids while you try to have an adult conversation. I would say you’re probably at the hardest stage for dragging them along and are also likely out of practice since we were all home for the past year
anon says
Really helpful feedback from everyone, thanks. It is especially heartening to hear from another twin mom & toddler mom that we’ll turn a corner around 3, and to reiterate that this is the thick of it, which I guess I know but forgot from the older kids. I just need them to not wander in separate, meaningless directions every time we turn around. I also do a lot of solo parenting and have always valued being on the GO with my kids, so just need concrete timeframes when I will start to feel like myself again.
I also just asked our nanny to come one night this weekend, which is my go-to when I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed by it all.
Anon says
I only have one but I definitely feel like age 2 is the hardest year for restaurants. It was mostly the Covid year for us and we kept commenting to each other that it was kind of perfect timing. Our last real pre-Covid trip was sort of a disaster because we went to an all-inclusive resort and wanted to spend a lot of time eating, and DD couldn’t stay seated in a restaurant for more than 10 minutes. She’s 3 now and very challenging in other ways, but it’s much easier for her to sit still for an hour for a meal.
octagon says
So much commiseration, 2 is just brutal.
At that age we used to pretend “restaurant” at home to try to get used to the idea that you had to behave differently. We would dim the lights, put out battery-powered candles and a tablecloth. DH would pretend to be the waiter, we would play some classical music in the background. Sometimes we would put out a single sheet of paper and like 3 crayons to mimic the kid-packs at restaurants.
We talked about how big kids get to go to restaurants and this was practice for when he was bigger. Kiddo seemed to sort of understand, but, he was also so young, so who knows. We did that about once a month until he was maybe 3.5 and then when we did go to an actual restaurant he blew us away with good behavior.
Anon says
My twins just turned 4 and I agree that 3 was an excellent turning point and they started becoming easier again.
anon says
Thanks all — loving the pile on that 2 is the worst for doing “stuff”, and the “going about a daily life” will get better at 3 yrs old (even if it adds certain other challenges). It’s helpful to think that I won’t have to track down a sitter to watch my other kids play sports or go to piano lessons next spring, which admittedly always feels like the worst use of our sitters.
shortperson says
if it is at all possible, just pay a sitter to stay with them on the weekends when you want to do stuff. just for a year. a regular weekend sitter saved my sanity when i had a toddler + baby, so it was a worthwhile investment of serious $$$.
Anon says
Can you share what the strategy was for introducing a toddler to daycare for the first time? My 19 month old will be starting daycare in late August. We’ve been fortunate that my husband has been taking care of him at home since my leave ended at 3 months old. I know people do it all the time but we are still nervous! Did you stay with your child the first few days? Or do half days? How long was it before you could leave them for the full day?
Anonymous says
I think we just said goodbye on day 1 and that was that – our center did not really offer a transition period. Do you have a lot of choice about how it goes down? Your daycare center probably has policies, and they may be more restrictive than in the past due to COVID.
Anonymous says
Caveat that you may not be able to do this with COVID in the mix, but for all my kids, we did a little tour where we went in and played in the classroom together with the kids for a bit, met the teachers, checked out the cubbies, toilets, etc. Usually the same day we were dropping off supplies like extra clothes/mats/etc. if you have a super nervous kid perhaps have one of the staff do a diaper change while you are there and your kiddo can get used to the idea of someone else changing him/her. Stay maybe an hour at most? Then we did a drop and go but stayed close to home in case things went really off the rails and we had to do an emergency pickup. At that age, I would assume you’ll have a lot of separation sadness at first. For us, staying and playing was worse than dropping and going. This will be kid- and center-dependent.
Good luck!!
Anonymous says
We read a couple books about it and just dropped him off for the day. I’d be very surprised if you were even allowed to stay with your child.
Anon says
My husband took her for a brief visit, then they went for about an hour a couple times, then he dropped her off for gradually increasing amounts of time. You probably can’t have you or your spouse hang out there because of Covid but you might be able to drop your kid for gradually increasing amounts of time. I know most people drop and go on Day 1 and it’s fine, but I’m glad we we’re able to do it gradually and I think it was easier on all of us that way.
strollerstrike says
So I have posted about this before, I am in Germany and starting daycare is way different here than in the US.
It starts with 3 days where one of the parents stays in the daycare group with the kid for an hour and then takes kid back home. Followed by leaving kid with a teacher for 10 minutes, less if kid cries a lot. Then you slowly extend the time you leave kid there.
I know kids where it took more than a month until they actually stayed for lunch and nap time. Our son was easy, took us two weeks but we are switching daycares so we have to go through it again, fingers crossed it goes quickly again this time.
I liked that I got to see the teacheres “in action” a lot but I do think that “ripping of the band aid” and just leaving kid on first day would be easier.
– sidenote: I also know and appreciate that this slow transition is only possible because of our generous (maternity) leave options here.
strollerstrike says
Oh and this is still how it is done during Covid times, all kids get tested here twice a week and parents have to provide proof of vacine/negative test .
Hmmm says
Honestly, having worked at a daycare in a past life, the best thing you can do is visit ahead of time, prep them in advance, and then leave confidently and quickly. Lingering makes it so much worse for most kids.
Road Tripper says
Our family will be road-tripping from the Chicago suburbs to Albany next week with our two-year-old toddler. Any recommendations for fun stops along I-90 to break up our drive? One detour we’re considering is Niagara falls, so would especially appreciate any tips there! Thanks!
Anon for this says
No suggestions for along the way, but I live in Albany and it’s actually a really nice area, especially in the summer with kids!
AwayEmily says
The Syracuse zoo is a lovely little zoo — not expensive and a great way to kill an hour (especially if you only do the outdoor exhibits).
Rochester has a good kids museum, depending on your tolerance for indoor activities.
Anon says
Just FYI that the good stuff at Niagara Falls is on the Canadian side, and the border is still closed to Americans.
Anon says
There’s a Rainforest Cafe at Niagara, which might be a lot of fun for a two year old.
anon says
Have you checked in with your daycare on their process and where their regulator is with Covid restrictions?
Mine requires a gentle transition process that includes parents at first normally. However, it’s still modified for strict Covid precautions because the regulator has yet to release updated Covid guidance.
Anonymous says
Has anyone successfully given up or scaled way back on added sugar. I really need to cut back and am working on it. It is going just okay so far, and I’d appreciate any words of wisdom. Thank you!
Anon for this says
I scaled wayyy back by cutting out sugar from:
-Beverages
-Condiments (I just use ones without sugar which often involves making my own)
-Jarred sauces and spreads (natural peanut butter, pasta sauce with no added sugar)
-Crackers and snacks
Actually, when I cut out sugar, I started eating more fat. That ended up being satiating. So breakfast became an egg on toast instead of jam on toast. Part of it is: I still eat sugar, I just don’t eat sugar in things that shouldn’t be ‘sweet’. Like… bread. Bread shouldn’t be sweet. I just looked and we currently have Trader Joe’s Tuscan Pane which doesn’t have added sugar.
Anonymous says
I think this is the easiest way to do it (and I love sugar). But when I’m eating it, I want to do it purposely, like in ice cream, cookies, or other treats that are meant to be sweet. So we make our own salad dressings (oil, vinegar, pepper, and garlic salt), no sugar peanut butter, no sodas, juice (side note, you know what I dislike? going to birthday parties where the only drink options are juice or alcohol), or other sweetened beverages, etc. Also agree on the fat- whole milk in tea now tastes better to me than adding sugar, by far. And once you get used to less sugar your tastes will change- I bought no sugar peanut butter for my kids, we all started using it, and then my husband complained when I bought normal peanut butter once when the other kind wasn’t available because now it tasted too sweet to him.
Anonymous says
How long does it take for tastes to change?
TheElms says
2 weeks to a month I’d say. I’m an abstainer and the first 2 weeks are brutal for me. I pretty much had to give myself permission to eat unlimited any other food to make it through and then it was much much better. I really like cheese so I ate absurd amounts of cheese.
I’ve also had some luck limiting sugar to one meal. So I can have dessert with dinner and generally speaking I’m able to keep the quantity of dessert reasonable. I have to avoid having certain desserts over which I have no self control (I see you chocolate chip cookies), but I’m quite content to eat a single ice small cream bar.
Anon says
I think the actual taste buds replenish every few weeks. That fits my experience as well.
No Face says
I’ve really ramped up my fruit intake. Fresh fruit is soooo good, especially if you don’t eat too many sweets with added sugar. I drink unsweetened seltzer and herbal tea instead of soda.
Realist says
I think that you need to discover whether you are an abstainer or a moderator on this topic, be honest with yourself, and plan accordingly. An abstainer will find it easier to eat no sugar, ever, than figuring out occasional indulgences. A moderator will need occasional treats. Advice is typically geared towards moderators, so a lot of that advice typically won’t work for a person who is an abstainer.
I am an abstainer and I have cut sugar before. The first 2 weeks, especially the first few days, are the hardest. You need a plan to attack cravings. I use satisfying and enjoyable high fat foods without sugar and allow myself to eat them without limitation while in the sugar withdrawal phase (like, a whole bag of chips and a bowl of guacamole). After the cravings stop I have to constantly remind myself that indulging in just one treat will set me back (just how I am, the one cookie doesn’t work and just resets the craving cycle, it is easier to have no cookies).
If you want a formal program to follow, there is Whole30 and also Dianne Sanfilippo’s 21 day sugar detox. I find the plans hard to follow, though, if you have other household members still eating sugar.
AnotherAnon says
This is all really good advice. I’m an abstainer: I just want to reiterate it’s totally fine if you’re not! My two cents I will add are: 1) I drink more alcohol when I cut sugar completely. I know I should eat fruit or add more fat, but realistically what ends up happening is I pour a glass of wine with dinner or have a beer a couple nights a week while I’m cooking. I’ve decided I’m ok with having three beers a week instead of none and a pack of Oreos every night. Which brings me to 2) I have found it works best for our household to simply not keep sugary treats around. So when grandma sends Twizzlers home with kiddo, I portion them out for school lunches and the rest go in the trash so that DH and I don’t eat them all in one sitting. Not saying you should do any of this: this is just what works for us.
Realist says
Yes, finding what works for you and your situation (whatever that is!) is the hardest part. The abstainer/moderator thing was so eye-opening for me. I realized all the moderator advice was great for them, but didn’t work for me. And even if it sounds extreme to others to go 100% sugarfree with no occasional indulgences, it is truly mentally easier for me to be that extreme.
Anon says
Me too. I have been off sugar for ten years now. It’s much, much easier for me to have an absolute policy than to have a little here and there. (I do have a medical reason which helps justify the policy though.) I can think of a few times I took a bite of someone’s dessert for social reasons, but I couldn’t really experience as an indulgence, since it all tastes too sweet to me now.
OP says
This is all really helpful, thank you! In a lot of other circumstances, I’m definitely an abstainer (alcohol, no problem; caffeine, I can’t have just a little), so I feel like I should be able to abstain from sugar and that it could be easier for me in the long run. But I think I need to work my way down to it. Right now, I’m just doing my best to have less than 25 grams per day, which is the American Heart Association recommendation for women. I’d love to get to the point where it tastes awful, but I’m guessing that comes with abstaining. I’d like to get there, but I think this is one thing where cold turkey won’t work for me.
Anon for this says
As a note, I’m the one who said I’m not an abstainer (I’m the ‘if it’s not sweet, it shouldn’t be super sugary!’) and I personally find that focusing more on the sneaky sugar had a bigger impact than I would have expected.
I actually cut it out after an elimination (whole 30 type) diet. I realized that: high lactose dairy, artificial sweetners, and sugar make me feel crappy. I do have a hard time now though with things like salad dressing because they’re all too sweet. Also, most fancy Starbucks drinks – I think ‘OO! how fun!’ but all I can taste is sweet.
Also, I’m a big fan of ‘no mediocre treats’. Like, if I want a cookie? I’m not going to gobble down some crummy off brand Oreo. No. I’m going to wait. and then I’m going to make exactly the cookie I want. And I”m going to have exactly what I want, not some mediocre fill-in. This was really helpful in just… helping me live a normal life while still a reasonably healthy one. It’s really helped me work on some of my super unhealthy food patterns (btw – yo millenials! did you know it WASN’T great for us to start calorie counting at 10???)
Anonymous says
This is a small thing, but one thing that helped me cut out sugar in my morning coffee was just not filling a sugar bowl anymore. I hated putting my hand/spoon in the big sugar bag in the cabinet for coffee so I just stopped putting it in my coffee altogether. Now I have it with just half and half and looove it. I also don’t drink any honey in tea unless I am sick. Just one more idea for you!
Anon says
You may be able to cut sugar in some ways even if you cut it out completely. I consider myself to have a pretty big sweet tooth – I eat dessert pretty much every day, and often eat muffins or pancakes or something like that for breakfast – but I switched to drinking tea black and coffee with just milk or cream more than a decade ago and have never looked back. For me at least that was a very easy switch and, hey, every bit helps, right? And I think you can train your body to not expect sugar in certain foods even if you’re overall pretty sugar-dependent. I can’t have sugary frapuccinos anymore, they taste nauseatingly sweet to me even though I still eat sugar in many other foods and clearly haven’t lost my taste for sugar completely.
Anon says
*even if you can’t cut it out completely
Anon says
This is my safe space to rant on this topic so here it goes. Resident infertile myrtle, here. Had my FET on the 18th and after early positive tests, found out today it’s a chemical pregnancy. I’ve only ever been pregnant once before (via IUI) and it resulted in my now 3 year old. I’m equal parts numb, pissed off and just exhausted. I kind of want to go on a food and drink binge tonight, which is actually not a good idea on many levels, but yea.
The sucker punch? We’re moving DD in to her big girl room in 2-4 weeks (whenever the PBKids backordered bed shows up). Not really sure what to do with her empty “baby room” with the crib. Never in a million years thought we’d have to contemplate that one. The universe is so shitty sometimes.
Anon says
sending hugs. My sister is desperately trying to get pregnant with her first after failed IUIs and a failed first round of IVF. All of her close friends have had a baby within the past year and she’s always wanted 3 and so far can’t seem to have one. It sucks! Maybe pack up the baby room for now? Also If you aren’t already in therapy i suggest that. I don’t know the rules on what you can eat when undergoing fertility treatment but i fully support ice cream for dinner
Nan says
I’m so sorry. Infertility feels one gut punch after another, and failed transfers are especially soul-crushing (in my personal experience anyway; I know it’s different for everyone.)
Anon says
DD is almost 4, in her big girl room and we still have the crib up in the nursery despite 2.5 years of trying (and a miscarriage in there). I can’t take it down yet, even though I should. We keep it as a quasi playroom and keep the crib as a toddler bed and DD uses it as a couch/bed for her babydolls. Part of me thinks if I go through the effort of converting the room, karma will get us pregnant, but I’m just not ready to shut that door.
OP says
How do you field questions like “why is the crib still up?” or have you been open book with others about what you’re going through? Personally, I haven’t told my parents or sisters about our fertility stuff. Mostly my mom and one sister is the issue. They mean well but will truly be incredibly unhelpful (last week asked me if I was pregnant because my ankles looked swollen. so ya). We’re close but this is one boundary that is healthy to maintain. I guess in my defense our “guest room” has been unfinished since we moved in two years ago so it wouldn’t be totally out of character to have this room just not broken down yet for some time.
Anon says
Pretty much everyone (my colleagues, particularly everyone says DD needs a sibling, my friends, so someone can hear me rage about all the social media posts about people having their second, third, fourth kids, 18 months apart that make me want to burn the world down, my family, who all know how much I wanted a big family) knows we’re still trying (I have a recently developed autoimmune something that needs to get sorted, but our next stop is the fertility clinic once that is), and most knew about our miscarriage because I have been more open about that lately as it becomes less raw with time (because I wish it was talked about more!), so no one has asked why the crib is still up. Family are the only ones who make it upstairs to even notice. We also have some boxes here and there from our move 6 years ago that are in our office and guest room and still not unpacked (DH is part hoarder, so while yes they objectively should go, they haven’t yet), so even if someone did ask, I would have plausible deniability to “we just haven’t gotten around to it, you know, toddlers.”
Anon says
I’m so sorry. Failed transfers just suck, full stop.
Do you know what your next step will be? That always helped me (our first child was born last year thanks to IVF but it took twists and turns, including a failed transfer, to get there).
anon says
I am really sorry. Secondary infertility is its own special kind of he!!.