CorporetteMoms

Updated: Jul 2, 2021 117 Comments · by

Family Friday: Pocket Art Dress

Recent Recs

This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A young girl wearing a star printed Pocket Art Dress

How is it already Fourth of July weekend? For the Fourth, my daughter loves to sport something celebrating the Red, White, and Blue, and this Pocket Art Dress from Hanna Andersson is perfect for her.

This fun, twirly dress features patched pockets, a gathered waist, and ribbed neck and armholes. It’s also prewashed for minimal shrinkage so no surprises when it comes out of the dryer. The festive star pattern is perfect for the Fourth and beyond.

This dress is on sale for $15 (down from $36) and is still available in most sizes 18-24 mos. to 10. It also comes in a fun watermelon or pineapple print. There’s also a version with stripes that’s on sale for $19. Note that a few comments mention that the dress runs small, so consider sizing up.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:

Click here to see our top posts!

And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. AnonATL says

    Daycare cold strikes again. This is like the third one is as many months. I know it’s not uncommon for babies to get a lot of colds in their first year of daycare, but it sure is annoying as a parent.

    • Anon says

      One a month is really not bad, especially if they’re not turning into secondary infections. I know it’s not fun though.

    • Anonymous says

      Sadly that’s not even bad. Our kids had runny noses basically Oct-March precovid, and had real nasty colds (ear infection, strep, etc) easily once per month for the first 6 months.

    • Anonymous says

      Hugs. I agree that’s totally normal, but I didn’t have to deal with it during COVID. I can’t imagine that. My son is 9, and I’m so sick of panicking about every sniffle. My husband also loves to declare, “I don’t feel right” ominously.

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      Solidarity. We’ve been going through our cycle of colds, including a double ear infection for the baby and RSV in DS #1’s class. The pediatrician said that it’s basically “January in June (now July)” for little people due to the moves back to “normal” (e.g. gathering, less masking, etc.)

      • AnonATL says

        Yeah it’s crazy we made it through the whole winter with no colds and then we got a bunch. It does make sense as people go back toward normal life.

        • Anonymous says

          FWIW, even pre-Covid my son tended to be sicker in fall and spring than the dead of winter. I have no idea why, but that was our pattern.

    • Anonymous says

      Yep, we had two in May, what I think was probably RSV in June, followed by something that caused two days of tons of snot (but no other symptoms). A teacher went home sick yesterday, so I’m guessing there will be something else next week.

    • Same says

      Yes! It’s been one things after another with daycare illness lately. When you add in the after effects of ear infections and trying to get back to normal sleep, things are not going great over here. Add fireworks to the mix the last few nights and I’m in a bad place.

  2. anonforthis says

    AITA? Family camping/canoe trip coming up. We are staying nearby at a condo (aka we don’t feel like camping with a 3.5 and 1.5 yr old). DH is taking 3.5 yo canoeing (trip is about 11am-4pm) and I’m staying back at the condo so she can nap and I can maybe even work out and nap (!!!). I’m not-so-secretly excited for the quiet time. Now, the family member organizing asked me if I can watch another family friend’s kid who is like 11 who doesn’t want to canoe “since I’m staying back anyways.” I should just say no right? Or AITA and should just pitch in? She’s a really nice and pretty easy kid and all, that’s not the issue. It’s more hot-campground-with-toddler-and-kid instead of nap in a cool condo.

      • Anon says

        +1 I would probably do it but in the condo. The 11 year old could actually be a bonus, right? She could stay in the room while baby naps, giving you the freedom to leave the room.

    • AwayEmily says

      Can the family friend’s kid come to the condo with you? And can you just set her up with a book/snacks/TV so you can do your own thing? My experience with 11yos is limited to my niece and nephew, but they are both super self-sufficient and would prefer to be mostly on their own. I think you can do a kind thing for your friend AND get your relaxing day!

    • Lily says

      Take the 11 year old to the condo with you and she can provide some free babysitting (supervised obvi) while you work out / do whatever. Do not agree to stay at the campground!!!

      • anne-on says

        This. They are asking YOU for the favor, so accept on terms that you are ok with. Do NOT get dragged into transport either – the parents who are getting free babysitting (or free child supervision) should be in charge of all transport to/from your condo.

    • Anonymous says

      Take the 11 year old back to the condo. She can watch a movie while you work and the kid naps. Bonus, she’ll probably play with your baby. FWIW she probably doesn’t want to hang out with you, either ;).

      • Anonymous says

        If this is a normal 11-year-old girl, I agree with this. When she finds out that she’s going to be stuck with an adult she hardly knows for several hours, she may change her mind and decide to go canoeing anyway.

        But … do you know why the parents aren’t insisting that she go canoeing with them? Is she the kind of kid with a behavioral or personality disorder who ruins everything for everyone else when she doesn’t get her own way? I ask because I have known a couple of kids like this, and their parents would absolutely have dumped them on someone else if they didn’t want to participate in an activity like canoeing. I would not agree to watch her in this scenario. Ask me how I know.

        • OP says

          So, it’s strange. She’s actually coming with her grandparents, who I know fairly well. But I don’t I’ve ever met her parents. So it’s like the babysitting grandparents having another person babysit?? That’s part of what felt strange to me about the whole thing. (Hey, auntie, can I also have Joe’s granddaughter come on by your condo?!) She’s a fine kid who just isn’t big on water I guess.

          • Anonymous says

            I think the fact that she’s with her grandparents actually makes it less strange. Grandparents generally let kids have their own way more than parents do, and IME grandparents are more willing than parents to hand a kid off to a relative stranger. As noted below, she’d probably just stay alone if she were at home. Also keep in mind that by the time a kid is 11 most parents have been sending them off to camp, in carpools, etc. with people they barely know for years. All in all, it just doesn’t sound like a big deal.

    • OP says

      Ok, that’s a nicer way to deal with this. I should add that we are staying at a friend’s condo (who is also canoeing) so I’ll check with her first and then offer for them to drive kid there to hang with us. Then I’m not stuck driving a bunch or moving nap schedule. Thanks for the idea!

      • NYCer says

        I really cannot imagine that the friend whose condo you are staying in will care if the 11yo joins you at the condo during the canoe trip. [If they do care, that would be extremely weird/rude IMO.]

        Anyhow, this seems like by far the best solution! Hope it works out.

      • AnotherAnon says

        I think having an 11 y/o with you at the condo for the day could be fun and potentially helpful, but I also think it’s perfectly reasonable to tell her parents no if you don’t want to do that. I’m projecting here, but I have one family member who is always pawning her kids off on someone during family vacation and never ever reciprocates. Look I get it, you need a break, but I didn’t come on family vacation to watch my kids and yours. YMMV obviously but this internet stranger gives you permission to say no if this isn’t how you want to spend your vacation alone time.

        • Anonymous says

          Are we related to the same person? I dread hanging out with her because five minutes after I sit down I am literally ordered to hold her drooling, germy baby or run after her hyperactive 3-year-old while she sits and sips her drink. I have kids too, but apparently she is the only one who deserves a break.

          • Anonymous says

            Bonus points if the baby is wearing a swim diaper and she doesn’t tell you until it is too late.

          • AnonATL says

            This is my BIL. They visit with their nearly 5yo, who is an awesome but exhausting kid, and play with their phones the whole time while we chase her.

        • AnotherAnon says

          Oh gosh! After I wrote this I thought “I’m probably being overly harsh.” Sorry to hear others have family like this too. The other moms and I have actually discussed bringing along a babysitter so we can all have a break from watching her kids as well as ours.

    • Anonymous says

      You may not realize this because your kids are so young, but an 11-year-old is not really a big deal at all assuming there are no undisclosed issues. 11-year-olds can stay home alone. They can cook. They can certainly make their own lunch if hungry. They can even change the babies diapers.They don’t wear diapers they’re very quiet at worst she may want to engage with you and play board game. Much more likely should be on a device or looking at a screen all day. If the circumstances were different, the parents would probably just let her stay home alone. But since “home “is a campsite in the middle of the woods, I can see where they want n an adult around. The condo sounds like a great solution for everyone.

      • Anonanonanon says

        Yea just let her watch a movie and hand her some snacks and she’ll leave you alone most likely. My 11-year-old barely notices being left home alone if he’s allowed to netflix

      • OP says

        HAHAH ok that’s true! Part of my discomfort is I’m also thinking that I wouldn’t just drop my kids with someone pretty random BUT, admittedly, my kids are so little so it IS different. Hard to imagine this level of independence :P (Also, another wrinkle here is kiddo is coming camping with her grandparents, so she’s already with a sitter/I don’t know her parents….)

        • Anonymous says

          She won’t even need a car seat or booster unless she’s extremely small for her age. My kid’s BFF is 10 and tiny and even she doesn’t use one anymore.

      • Anonymous says

        She won’t even need a car seat or booster unless she’s extremely small for her age. My kid’s BFF is 10 and tiny and even she doesn’t use one anymore.

  3. yes, there are two! says

    I’m at 16 weeks of a very very wanted pregnancy that turned into (surprise!) twins, and, despite my joy at the babies, I’m completely miserable being pregnant. I’m not sure what I need, but something like the chance to vent anonymously, and receive hope and comfort and words of wisdom from people who have been there sounds good.
    I have/had hyperemesis, so weeks 7-14 just plain sucked. A blur of misery, sick leave, and lying on the sofa. Now I’m down to vomiting only about every other day, but still nauseous a lot, sleeping a ton, and eating is still a difficult chore with no joy. I was hoping the morning sickness would ease and I would have a few weeks of calm, but now I have a weird throbbing pain that my OB says is related to my womb growing. Growing is good, but it still hurts and just plain freaks me out. I’m starting to be scared this whole pregnancy is going to be one misery after another. I want to see my friends, I want to be able to go on a walk, I want to just…not feel sick for 15 minutes. The twins are mono twins, so, very high risk, and I can anticipate some bed rest and an early scheduled c-section at the end. Which of course probably means NICU time. It’s hard to complain because we wanted these babies SO MUCH, but, the last weeks have absolutely sucked, and I feel I’ve no stamina left to handle what comes next. My husband is a saint, he’s done so much to take care of me, and he’s still the person who can make me laugh even on a bad day, so I’m really grateful for that. I just…didn’t expect pregnancy to be this hard.

    • anonymommy says

      Are these your first LOs? Congrats! It’s ok to not feel well, but it is hard when everyone expects you to gush 24/7 about what a blessing it is (it IS a blessing but you can still be sick of being sick!).

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      Major hugs! I had relatively easy pregnancies, but even still, pregnancy is hard on the body. It’s not the glowing, wonderful time for most people (maybe a few weeks in the 2nd tri if you’re lucky), your body is working overtime to grow an entirely new human! So yes, it’s magical in that sense, but that doesn’t mean you feel great. And you have hypermesis and twins, which just compounds the awfulness. I hope you get relief soon, but it’s also ok to hate being pregnant while very much wanting your children. Just as it’s ok to feel overwhelmed with two newborns while very much wanting your children. It is a long game and a lot of the early parts suck.

    • Anonymous says

      Hugs, this is so hard. I had hyperemesis with a singleton, which was enough to ruin the pregnancy experience and make me absolutely miserable even without twins or a high-risk situation. Honestly, I’d embrace the prospect of bed rest and try to set things up with short-term disability etc. so you are not expected to work at all once it’s ordered. I had no choice but to power through the hyperemesis right up until delivery and was therefore totally depleted when the baby actually arrived. One thing I’ve learned through experience since then is that there are times when you just have to say “enough,” throw in the towel, and rest so your body can heal (or, in this case, grow and protect babies), and it’s usually better for your career and your social life and your sanity just to step all the way back when you need to instead of trying to keep up all your normal activities when your body is just not up to it.

    • Anon says

      feeling sick while pregnant is the worst. whenever i felt super nauseous during my pregnancy (which was most of the time), i would remind myself that there were people who felt as awful as i did who decided to go back and have another. and then other times i would pinch myself so i could have an instant to focus on a different sensation than nausea. i have di/di twins, so not as high risk as mo/mom twins at all (but your identical twins will be sooooo cute!), but you get bigger with di/di since you have two sacs and two placentas. i was pretty miserable for most of my pregnancy. i will never forget around week 7 or 8 when DH was driving me to the doc and i puked all over myself and we had to turn around and go home so i could change my clothes. after that i started carrying bags. are you taking the anti nausea meds? i would say that i felt ok from weeks like 17-21 and then i just got so big, and my nausea picked up again towards the end of my pregnancy. the only thing that helped me at all with my nausea was constantly grazing. i literally carried around a gallon size ziploc bag of cheerios. you are right that your babies are likely to come early and possibly with NICU time. i knew that could be true with my twins, but i didn’t really spend time trying to internalize what that could mean and i encourage you to try to do that. i struggled so much at the beginning with the fact that i didn’t get to hold my babies right away, didnt have the cute pictures that everyone else has. i actually had one in the nicu and one not, so i never got a pic of me holding both in the hospital (bc they failed to tell me until the day we were leaving that i could’ve brought the non-nicu twin to the nicu with me – these were non covid times). i was never one of those people with a pregnancy glow or a nesting urge…most of my urges involved trying not to puke all over myself

      • OP says

        This is really helpful, thank you. I have a similar dr appt story, though thankfully I was still home when the puking started….I was like “ummmm…..please call the doctor and let her know we’ll be late!”. I’ll make sure to ask if I can bring one of the twins into the NICU if one is released first. And yes, most of my pregnancy life is related to trying not to puke….no brain space for much else.

    • anne-on says

      I’m so sorry. I had hyperemesis too and it is really hard to convey just how miserable it is (no, it’s not just morning sickness!). As you’re probably aware, it can stick around up until delivery (it did for me) but got slightly less intense over time. I’d try to figure out what DOES sound appetizing for you, and have it available at all times. For me I ate my weight in Wheat Thins and lemonade. I also HAD to eat as soon as I got hungry or hunger turned into throwing up for hours – it was hard because I felt awkward busting out snacks in the middle of a meeting/45 minutes prior to a meal/etc., but I simply had to listen to my body.
      As hard as it is, it was good practice for explicitly communicating MY needs and what I needed from other people – can you call your friends and ask them to come visit with you on a porch if walks are too much? Sit and watch bad tv with you? Help you pick our your baby stuff virtually? I’m sure your friends would be happy to do that, they just don’t know what you need.

    • Mary Moo Cow says

      I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. One thing that struck me is that you said you want to see your friends: how can y’all make that happen? I know that if I had a pregnant friend who wanted company, I would make it happen, whether it meant meeting outside, wearing a mask, etc. Let them know you want to see them! (I’ve recently convinced my pregnant friends to come over for a porch picnic.) Otherwise, are there things that make you happy about the babies? Like online shopping for clothes, or building a registry? Anything that distracts you for 15 minutes.

    • Jeffiner says

      One of my friends told me the first trimester is all about survival, and she was so right. Yes, sometimes the nausea and discomfort and pain last the entire pregnancy. About 10 minutes after my daughter was born, I looked at my husband in shock and announced, “OMG, I’m not nauseous anymore!! I forgot what this is like!!”

      Pregnancy is physically brutal, but you’re surviving, so you’re doing great Mama. Eat whatever makes you feel good, regardless of if its healthy. Nap when you need to. Take lots of showers. Punch anyone who says, “I hope you’re taking it easy now, the real fun starts when the babies are here.”

      • anne-on says

        This line ‘omg, I forgot what it was like to not be nauseous!’ was so true. Everyone said that having a newborn would be so hard and imho, nope, it was WAY way easier to recover and nurse (even with having an emergency c-section) than it was to be constantly weak/nauseated/throwing up while pregnant.

    • No Face says

      Parenting is a long journey, and it is very normal to absolutely hate parts of it! You can hate pregnancy but love having babies, or hate having babies but love having teens, or love pregnancy but find the toddler years extra hard. Another thing is, if you really hate pregnancy, you can just have these babies and never do it again! In a year, this chapter will be in the rear view mirror!

    • Anonymous says

      This time next year you will have babies!! Take comfort that while you are sick and miserable, you are at least not doing it with twins running amok. I’ve had 3 kids and two run of the mill pregnancies and one that just crushed me. I told my husband after that one if I didn’t get pregnant ASAP I’d never be crazy enough to do it again because it was the WORST. I didn’t have the same issues as you, but I *did* have a raging yeast infection for 7/9 months I was pregnant.

    • Anon says

      Mono twin pregnancies suck (MUCH more than your standard didi pregnancy, thank you very much), and they double suck with HG. It’s OK not to be glowy, and it’s OK to complain. The MoDi/momo facebook pages can be helpful but also stressful. I often repeated ‘the only way out is through,’ because it’s a lot.

      My twins are 13 months old and fine – 34w4d, 15 and 16 NICU days (the NICU is shocklingly not stressful after a very hard pregnancy – the NICU is easier when you know it’s coming and you can mentally prepare yourself). I ended up not getting a c section, but the risk of acute TTTS during delivery was so stressful while it was happening (and you give birth in the OR anyway), so I wouldn’t recommend it. Bedrest (for me, starting at 24 weeks/viability, but I had SIUGR, complicated by undiagnosed CMV), was actually a decent respite because everything else was so hard. It sucks when you see people have easy healthy pregnancies, and it’s OK to be (internally) jealous. But you can do this.

      (PS just double checking that you also have a MFM – I switched to just MFM care at 16 weeks and it was great)

      • OP says

        Thanks for all of this! You’re really been down the road. I’m so glad to hear your twins are doing well now! Yes, I’m in the process of switching to the high risk twin center in my city – first doctor appointment with them next week. Knowing I’ll be in the best hands is comforting – I’m so grateful my city has such a thing, and, it’s only 10 minutes from my house, so, lucky me! (Also, if you were the person who posted the reminder about CMV – thanks for that. I’m CMV negative, but these are my first, so not too many worries about day care toddler kisses:-))

        • Anon says

          It’s been a lot (although, I didn’t have HG – I feel low-level hungover for my entire pregnancy and have no appetite, but it’s 100,000x better than HG, so my condolences there. I did drink a lot of premiere protein shakes, so that may be helpful eventually)

          A specialty twin center sounds great – you can do it!

    • anon says

      I am a twin mama with other kids, and I just want to add that the twin pregnancy was SO MUCH HARDER than any of my singleton pregnancies. I have a little PTSD from how sick I was. Just wanted to validate your feelings.

      Also, wanted to reiterate what was said above, I loved having babies so, so, so much, and was so much happier when I had newborns/babies. I was always grateful to be pregnant and never took it for granted, but also gave myself the freedom to acknowledge that I didn’t like being pregnant. You hopefully will round a corner soon.

    • Anonymous says

      Oh hugs. I want to validate that of course you are miserable – no sane person would enjoy what you’ve been through! I loathed being pregnant and didn’t have any serious problems. But I was nauseous for 36 out of the 42 (!) weeks and, while I never vomited, it just sucked. I think some women feel good a lot of the time when pregnant, but a lot of us don’t. My only advice is to just take it one day at a time – just get through the day. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but worrying won’t help, so try to just focus on today. For me, it was also useful to give up on trying to cure my nausea or waiting for it to go away – radical acceptance was easier emotionally. I really had no control over it, and I just had to give up. The upside for me was that it went away the moment I gave birth. My son was also in the NICU for a week after birth due to meconium aspiration. That was also really hard. If you haven’t already, consider talking to a therapist – you’re dealing with a lot, and you may need some extra support.

      • Anonymous says

        PS – along the radical acceptance vein, it is okay to grieve that you aren’t having the pregnancy and birth experience you might hope for. I’m still a little sad that I didn’t get to hold my son after he was born for more than a second until the next day. I’m jealous of women who didn’t need to be induced and who had quick labors at 39 weeks with a healthy baby. Obviously I know I’m lucky in so many ways (I have a healthy child!) but it was different than what I had envisioned.

        • OP says

          It’s good to remember that not liking this is the sign of a sane person:-). And, that I can take this as a bit of a spiritual practice – this is hard, how can I learn to accept it. If you could survive that much nausea, I’m going to attempt to learn from you! (And, it seems obvious, but I hadn’t though about trying to find a therapist, but, that’s a really good idea!)

      • AwayEmily says

        This is so helpful, thank you. My last two pregnancies were pretty easy, but with this one I’ve had super intense nausea the entire time (now 8 weeks in) and have barely been able to get any work done. I’ve been feeling like it’s a personal failure — after all, i’m not even vomiting, so what right do I have to complain? But your advice to just accept that it is what it is, and I just need to get through it, is perhaps better than berating myself for not being strong enough.

    • OP says

      Thank you all so much. I knew I would get a little help here…hearing your stories helps so much. And I’m laughing at some of the parallel – I’m also all about limonade and cherries, and once I read Wheat Thins my brain was like “I want THOSE”. Showers is such a good idea – I’ve been, ummmm…not taking so many, but you’re right, I usually feel decent in the shower, and more human. This has been a wonderful time to learn about acknowledging limits and asking for what I need…going on sick leave was so hard emotionally, but so worth it. And I’m thinking about ways to see friends, and, you’re right – they all DO want to see me and help. And since I’m the last one to get pregnant, they probably have some great tips and can help me do thinks like pick out which baby bouncer to get. And, thank you so much for saying this may indeed be harder than the babies themselves!

      • No/di mom says

        Very late reply, but I’m a no/di mom who had HG and it’s miserable. There was nothing fun about pregnancy for me. An empty stomach was my big trigger, so I always carried snacks. Snacks with protein helped me the most. On bad days, I lay in bed listening to audiobooks to take my mind off the nausea a little. I tried Diclegis, which put me to sleep but didn’t actually help the nausea. Eventually I went on zofran, which didn’t completely cure my HG, but made it bearable. Talk to your dr and figure out if any meds make sense (I know it can be a scary decision when you’re pregnant).

        My babies were born just shy of 35 weeks. They were both head down so, while I had been told to expect a c-section all along, they were born v. Because they were so early and small (both around 4 lbs), they were in the NICU about 2.5 weeks. Our NICU sends twins home together if they can. The more you’re mentally prepared for delivery/NICU, the better. There are some pros: you get to catch up on sleep and the nurses can teach you all sorts of things about babies (NICU nurses are the best!), but it’s hard not having the usual experience.

        Twins are a lot of work, but wonderful! Mine are about to turn 3 and are best friends. Identicals are so fun!

    • Anonymous says

      I had di-di twins and had all day sickness until 24 weeks. I took the prescription for Diclegis and it vastly improved my quality of life. Swimming and prenatal massages also helped. But overall, being pregnant with twins sucks. I hated ultrasounds, the stress tests. my feet falling asleep if I slept on my back. having to pee all the time. Now I have a couple of six year olds who love hearing about when I was pregnant with them. They love seeing the pictures of me, the ultrasound pictures, hearing any miserable story I can tell – the grosser and harder the better. They like knowing who came out first, who wore the hat at the hospital, who my partner held and who I held, even when I barfed when they were stitching me up. Someday, these little humans will revel in the story of their becoming.

      • OP says

        LOL This really cracked me up! I’ll try to remember in my misery to collect the stories that might be funny someday.
        (I am taking medication, and it’s helping, but not curing.)

      • anne-on says

        Omg, yes, this is so funny and true. My son laughs so hard when I told him ‘the doctor told me babies are like parasites, they will be fine, you’re the one who is suffering’. He delights in how gross my pregnancy was, funny stories about how there was suddenly no more lap for our cat to sit on, how often I threw up, how the doctor told me to eat anything (anything?!? anything. even potato chips for breakfast. cool!).

    • Coach Laura says

      Not a twin mom, so I don’t have much pregnancy advice. My sister has identical twins and is a 35year NICU nurse. My brother’s wife also had identical twins. My daughter is also a NICU nurse. From what I know, the NICU nurses are fabulous helping parents adjust. Ask them for what you need. If you’re at a Level 4 NICU, they are pros and will get you, your husband and twins through it all.

      You might also take a NICU tour if at all possible. More questions might occur to you then. Most NICUs are letting parents in without COVID restrictions. I hope by then, the NICU will have regular visitation of parents and other family and no covid restrictions. Good luck.

  4. Anonymous says

    Help me plan my 5 y/o’s b’day party? Normally I’m 100% team “pick a place and we’ll do it there” but with COVID, the options are a lot more limited as we want to do an outside party. Her b’day is the first week of August when it will be super hot. None of the usual pool places are offering pool parties due to COVID. The local movie theater, which is one of the only spaces I’d consider doing inside, has shuttered for good due to the pandemic. There is blueberry picking near us but the chances that it will be 90 degrees and humid are high, and she will complain the whole time.

    So far, her ideas have been a splash park [this is not going to be possible for a party- we can certainly go, but not to one where there is a designated space for her and her friends], and a limo ride [I told her we need to save this until her friends are out of carseats].

    We are toying with the idea of renting a water slide/bounce house combo and doing it outside in our yard with a make-your-own ice cream sundae bar or similar fun dessert. Is that enough to keep kids busy for a couple hours? If not, what else should we plan to do?

    Alternatively, does anyone have ideas for parties *not* at my house but still outdoors and not too miserable in the dead of summer heat?

    • AwayEmily says

      The water slide/bounce house and ice cream sundae bar sounds AMAZING! I bet they will love it.

      And if you don’t want to put in the effort (that does sound like a fair bit of work), you could postpone. For my 5yo’s birthday (end of March) we told her that we’d have her “friend” birthday party after she got vaccinated, and she was fine with that. So, we’ll have something fun in (fingers crossed) November or December, when we can all use the break anyway. We did do something small with just us and her grandmother for the actual day.

      • Anonymous says

        Nice thought, but no way this is getting postponed. I’ve had to listen to the bday countdown since December!

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      For splash pads, are those at playgrounds with lots of picnic tables nearby? If so, you can try to get there early to snag a table and set up the food and balloons there, and that way the kids can play in the playground/splash part first, and then do the birthday party celebration. We’ve also gone to several 5 year bday parties In the Age of Covid in peoples’ backyards – bouncehouse is a good idea, as are bubbles and sprinklers if it’s hot. My kid and his friends spent a lot of time just hitting a large inflatable ball around in our backyard, so maybe consider something novel and goofy like that!

      • GCA says

        A friend just did this – 3yo’s birthday at a local public splash pad next to a playground. She set up a tablecloth, individual goody bags (with all the individually packaged food in them), & balloons at one table, and we all parked ourselves around there and set the kids loose. She also set out some small water toys like spray bottles that could be filled at the splash pad. I think that, or the backyard bounce house/ water slide combo, would definitely occupy a bunch of 5yos.

      • EDAnon says

        One of thy s splash pads near us let’s you reserve a table which we did one year and it was awesome! The splash pad was near an open field so there was water play and dry space.

    • Anonymous says

      I live in Brooklyn and most of my 9 year old’s parties has been at the public park. You have a huge advantage in having an actual yard! Your water slide/bounce house combo sounds perfect. Maybe do it early/late to avoid the worst heat? (Pancake party?) You could arrange some games and crafts, but at 5 my son mostly just wanted “free play” at parties.

        • Anonymous says

          Well at least our children are learning valuable life lessons, like rats can swim. I could not believe how fast one swam across the lake in Prospect Park. My suburban childhood deprived me of this knowledge.

    • anon. says

      Do the water slide. My kid’s friend (also turning 5) just did this and it was a huge hit. Definitely kept them occupied. I think they also had a pinata and some other random outdoor toys laying around, maybe a bubble machine. Don’t overthink it – kids love inflatable water slides.

        • anne-on says

          Every single kids birthday party I’ve been to with one of these also had an ‘adults only’ session where the parents (usually the dads, during lunch for the kids) raced each other through the obstacle course and down the slides for bragging rights. The kids loved cheering on their parents and the parents all loved it!

    • Anonymous says

      thanks everyone! bounce house/water slide combo booked and i got a “foam party” package add on which is basically a foam pit free for all.

      Last question: it’s a Saturday in the summer. 3-5 and no dinner? 2-4? 4-6 and pizza at the end? Anything 10-2 seems too hot, right?

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        Our 5 year old parties have typically been 10-12 or 10:30-12:30, with lunch and cake at the end. If there are younger siblings, then they can come and still hit naps (see our discussion about that a while ago! and if you’re ok with younger sibs of course). I’m not sure where you are, but here, the high point of the heat sets in at around 1 and goes until 5ish now in the summer. Mornings are typically a little cooler, but 95 degree days are just hot all day!

      • GCA says

        Depends on where you are! (If you’re in, say, AZ, all bets are off…) Otherwise, for more temperate and humid climates: If there are no still-napping younger sibs involved, 3-5 or 4-6 with pizza and cake sounds great. Chase the pizza and cake with freeze pops! But if there might be younger siblings who still nap, I’d do it mid-morning through noon.

        • Anonymous says

          I am not inviting younger siblings*, so naptime isn’t really much of an issue. I’m expecting at least half the kids will just be dropoffs, except for the parents we are friendly with who may stay and have a beer and watch the chaos.

          * This is my youngest kid of 3, I totally get the politics of all this. However, I don’t want to have a bunch of little guys in the middle of a bounce house with kids ages 5-10 in it doing backflips and climbing walls. OBVIOUSLY if there are extenuating circumstances, it’s fine. But at this age, most parents we know just drop and go if there are sibling issues.

          • GCA says

            Oh, yeah, good call. Just specify that parent drop-off is an option and you’ll be fine. I’d be nervous about a 2yo trying to get in there with a bunch of 5-10s.

            Funny story about that, actually: We were at a post-school-year party recently with a bounce house + kiddie pool in a friend’s backyard. My toddler took one look at big sib and big sib’s friends having what amounted to a high-impact rave in the bounce house, and she prudently noped right out and went to splash in the pool. On the other hand, her brother would’ve climbed right in and held his own at the same age. So kid-dependent. (Not a critique of your approach! I don’t like liability, either.)

          • Anon says

            I keep wondering at what point the “whole family” parties will stop lol. Though that said, because of Covid my turning six-year-old really only has two good friends and I like their parents a lot so I think I myself will be hosting a whole family party this year (but he’s my oldest so I have younger siblings to include anyway!)

          • Anonymous says

            OP here. My kids (5/7/9) don’t have whole family parties. Only “stay for a beer if you don’t have anywhere else to be”’parties now. I think as soon as the kids are old enough for dropoff (5?) and when you can start carpooling nobody will want to stay.

    • Mary Moo Cow says

      Is she 4 turning 5 or 5 turning 6? I ask because we had a pinata at my 6 year old birthday party, and it was the biggest hit! But I’m not sure they would have had the strength or coordination for it at 5.
      We usually do outdoor parties for our May and August babies. I agree with all the posters that water slides/water play will keep them entertained. If you have a pop-up tent or can rent one, that is much appreciated for the parents who have to stand around.
      Alternatively, I’ve been to the splash pad playground twice now where parents have commandeered the shelter for a party (it is explicitly not available to rent through the parks system) and I haven’t minded. Some people might give you side eye, but eh.

      • Anonymous says

        My son loves pinatas (and destroying them after they fall down and the candy is emptied), but one thing I learned the hard way – do not use Hershey kisses in a pinata on a hot day. Any kind of chocolate is dangerous, but if you go there get something that is wrapped air tight. We filled our pinata with a mix of legos and candy, and ended up with chocolate-covered legos.

        • Anonymous says

          This is funny, but filling a pinata with legos is genius! I always struggle to figure out what to put in there that isn’t candy or junk.

    • anon says

      For my 5 yo’s birthday we did a high ropes course with zip lines. It was a huge hit with the kids and very fun. We booked an early start time so it wouldn’t be too hot in August.

      For her 6th birthday and we did a rental inflatable waterslide in the backyard. It was a huge hit. If you’re concerned about kids having to wait in line you might actually schedule the party in two or three shifts. We had our rental for about 10 hours from set up to take down. With 4-5 kids they could go down the slide with no waiting or crowding at the top. (With more kids it was actually less fun.) We ended up having her party with only 2 other kids (see COVID) and then having other small groups of neighborhood kids over later in the day. The slide ended up getting used for most of the 10 hours and it felt like a full day bonanza.

  5. Anonymous says

    Y’all my 6 year old has just started an “I hate you” phase and gotten way more aggressive when mad (hitting again – what?!!) and three year old has just started hitting. (Now that I say that maybe that’s why 6 year old started hitting again.) As we try to keep ourselves sane over the next few weeks – any tips for getting past the “I hate you, you’re the worst mommy ever, also I hate daddy and hate little brother he’s the worst brother on earth” stage ??? We are not offended by this but … it’s getting a little old. Big kid has just ended the school year that was only in person for a short while and is home for the summer with just a few camps, so I totally get he’s going through a lot of transition right now…

    • anon says

      Noooo this starts back up again??? Signed, mom who is dealing with 3yo hitting phase. Please come back and share your tips after you’re through this. Sorry for no advice only good lucks and virtual hugs.

    • Anon says

      I have a 5.5 and 3.5 and yes the emotions are all over the place lately. Some things that are working for us (and that I really need to be more consistent on…)
      – regular meals/snacks to prevent hanger
      – extra sleep, be it an earlier bedtime or a car nap
      – focused reading and game time with them without my phone, and similarly being present without my phone at bedtime
      – picking VERY few battles and giving my kids lots of grace…it’s easier to use humor or even give in to requests to diffuse the situation than dying on that hill
      – talk less, smile more (in the words of A. Burr). If they are blowing off steam I will give them a brief acknowledgment and then stop engaging
      – Follow Dr Becky oh Instagram because she gives these tips better than I do

      • Anonymous says

        Op and you are reading my mind. We are doing all those things. Just moved 6 year old’s bedtime earlier. I will give that account a follow!!

  6. anon says

    Suggestions of where to buy a party dress for a fashion-y tween girl? My future stepdaughter is going to be my sole bridesmaid in our wedding. We’d like to get her something that she could wear as a party/special occasion dress, not just something for the wedding and I don’t know where to look. (It’s usually her mom who shops for clothes with her, but obviously not in this case, and I don’t know anything about tween fashion retailers.). She’s 11.

    • Friday says

      Kohls (my only bridesmaids dress is from there: I still wear it to church occasionally), Target? Might be too twee, Macy’s or Dillards: the juniors section has nice dresses.

    • Anonymous says

      My stepmom and I have a decent relationship now but I still vividly recall that she forced me to wear a dress that I didn’t want to that seemed like it was for a little kid for their wedding at age 11! I don’t have stores to recommend but definitely suggest you involve her in the process.

    • Anon says

      Ask around locally to see if there are any stores that cater to the tween crowd. I grew up in an area with a lot of bar/bar mitzvahs so there were usually stores people shopped in. Nordstrom can be good but these days you might end up having to do a lot of purchasing online and then returning. And yes, also ask her

      • Anonymous says

        All of my daughter’s cotillion dresses came from the girls’ department at Nordstrom. Some brands to try are Miss Behave (hit or miss, many styles are too adult for my taste and the model styling is, as the youth say, “cringey”), Un Deux Trois (more expensive but more formal and generally more age-appropriate), and Blush by US Angels (a little younger-looking). If you are willing to get spendy I’d also check out Bloomingdales, Saks, and Neiman Marcus.

    • Anonanonanon says

      It’s really hard to say without knowing her size, how formal your wedding is, and her tastes. but
      Take her to the mall and look in department stores. (I’d recommend Nordstrom in particular)
      Maisonette may have some nice things.
      Jacadi (some of it might be young)
      Rent the Runway has kids dresses, I’m not sure of the size range though
      Lily Pulitzer sometimes has solid-colored girl dresses
      Brooks Brothers makes kid clothes

      • anon says

        Ah, Lily Pulitzer is a great idea. It is very much her style but is beyond her typical price range so I’m not sure she knows it exists…

        Thank you!

        • Anonymous says

          Maybe J. Crew would be another good option then?

          OP, I would also consider how likely it is she will have occasion to wear this dress for another fancy occasion before she outgrows it, especially if she is at high risk and unable to attend events in person right now. By all means, get something she loves, but if I were you I’d let go of the vision that she’ll be able to wear it again if that would take some pressure off finding just the right thing.

    • anon says

      I realize I left out this highly salient fact, namely, that it needs to be someplace we can order online because she is extremely high risk for COVID due to a very serious health condition, so we can’t shop in person until she’s vaccinated (we are in a state with no mask mandates and case rates are high in our area, so the odds we encounter an unmasked person who is COVID positive are higher than in some areas, and her risk is greater due to her health situation). It will ultimately be her decision (there’s no wedding color scheme or anything like that), but I was hoping to be able to look at some stuff online before we sit down together next weekend when she’s here, so I have some suggestions or ideas for her. I want this to be something that she really likes – that is significantly more important than anything else. Her little brother has already declared he is wearing his Iron Man costume from Halloween, to give you a sense of the vibe of this wedding…

      • Mary Moo Cow says

        You might also try second hand for Lily Pulitzer or the like. Postmark, ThredUo, etc: that y’all can do from home!

      • Realist says

        Is it possible to ask the Mom where she likes to shop for the 11yo and if she has any suggestions? I know these relationships may be complicated, but if this request would be comfortable for you both I would text her mom to get started. Don’t overlook something special and handmade on Etsy if that works for her style.

      • Anon says

        you can order Lilly Pulitzer from Zappos which has free shipping both ways. JCrew now has a kids section and has dresses. Department stores carry it as well. congrats to you and have fun together with the online shopping!

      • Anonymous says

        No helpful suggestions. Just wanted to say this sounds like a wonderful wedding

    • Anonymous says

      If you are looking for a special shopping experience, a Nordstrom virtual personal stylist session could be fun.

  7. Sf says

    We’re going away for three weeks and staying in three different family homes. I have an almost 11 month old who gets into EVERYTHING. What can I buy to create a safe place in these homes that are obviously not child proofed at all?

    This morning he climbed on the bottom handle of the oven and accidentally pulled the oven open. He’ll be climbing bookshelves any day now. And of course with my first we didn’t have to childproof anything.

    • AwayEmily says

      oh my goodness. You are so smart to be thinking about this ahead of time. One thing we’ve done is to designate one room as a “kid friendly” room. For that one room we gated it off (preferably with a gate but with backwards chairs in a pinch), outlet covers on everything, removed anything breakable (including standing lamps, etc). Someone still had to be with the kid in there, but they could sit as opposed to hover.

      If that can’t work, then NorthGate makes some play enclosures (we had a metal one but for travel you’d probably want plastic) that you can set up in a room.

      That age is so tough to travel with because the need for constant vigilance. I remember a vacation (“vacation”) with my in-laws where my husband and I traded off just sitting in the laundry room with my 11mo while he pressed buttons, because it was the only room that wasn’t filled with glass coffee tables/sharp stone ledges/valuable vases.

    • Anon says

      Pack N Play will contain him if you need to shower or something like that but unfortunately I think you’ll just have to watch him closely most of the time.

    • Anonymous says

      When we vacationed with the littles I brought a lot of rubber bands to tie the poison cabinets together. Also outlet plugs and a playpen that you could open up to make a gate.

      • Anon says

        Was just about to recommend this – we brought this with us on a recent hotel stay with my very active 13 month old and it was a lifesaver.

    • GCA says

      Oh dear. I wouldn’t take career advice from a ‘former partner turned law career counselor’. What a dumpster fire of an opinion piece. This is how you set firms back decades.

      • GCA says

        *Which is not a dig at career counselors. The author’s experience is about two decades old, and she has clearly not kept up with even the basic party line on parenting that most big law firms espouse.

ABOUT

WORK WITH US

SERIOUS STUFF