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Target’s latest collab has mamas-to-be in mind: The Nines by Hatch. When I was pregnant, I loved Hatch’s easy, laid-back style but found their price point a bit out of reach for everyday wear.
There are a lot of great looks in this collection — I’m particularly drawn to this dress. The cheerful floral print and tie sleeves just shout “Spring!” I also love the versatility of a good shirtdress — it’s perfect for home, a baby shower, or even a more casual office.
As a bonus, the button-down front makes it great for nursing and pumping after your little one’s arrival. Note that some reviewers found the bust a little tight, so consider sizing up.
The dress is available at Target in sizes XS–XXL for $36. It also comes in Dark Pink, although only XXL is still in stock.
Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Going part time with 3 says
Paging the mom asking about having a 3rd- I posted a reply over the weekend.
Op says
Thank you so much
Anonymous says
We tried to flip our preschooler’s Britax carseats forward facing this weekend (she hit the RFing weight limit) and we discovered that we can’t do it because our 1990s cars don’t have tether anchors. We called the dealership to ask about retrofitting the cars, but they said our cars are too old and they can’t help us. Has anyone DIYed this? Or know a brand of carseat that can be FFing without using a tether? We invested in the Britax seats with the intention of using them for years but we’re not handy people so if there’s a safe option without a tether we’d probably just throw money at the problem and buy new carseats. But a quick google search is telling me tethers should now be used with all FFing carseats.
Anonymous says
You can just use the seatbelt. But to be perfectly honest, I’d buy a new car. The safety standards overall are just so much higher now.
Anon says
If your cars are 20+ years old, have you considered that newer vehicles have so many safety features that it might be prudent to purchase something newer for transporting your child? A used 10 year old car could be purchased relatively affordably, and will have tethers, among other safety advances.
Anon says
I’m cheap, but I bought a new (to me, 2018) car last year and the safety stuff is SUCH an upgrade from my 2008.
Clementine says
So I’m in a different boat, but my experience is more of the ‘I bought a 3 row SUV, what do you MEAN I can’t put any carseat wherever the heck I want to?!?’ variety.
After doing research, yes. You can install it with the seatbelt (make sure it properly locks) but current guidance is that all FF kiddos should have a top tether. There’s not a reasonably quick and easy fix for this. There’s not even a hard and moderately expensive fix for this. Your options are basically to use the seatbelt and maybe find a sturdy point you can anchor to or consider buying new vehicles.
Anon says
+1. You really need the tether with all FF harness seats, and a diy solution may not be safe. What a bummer! We are in a similar position of needing to buy a new car (van) for accommodating car seats
Anonymous says
If your cars are both so old that they don’t have tether anchors, you need to buy at least one newer car.
I get it–we are “drive it until the wheels fall off” people too. But having two cars that are more than 20 years old is just not reasonable with kids. In addition to the risk of injury in a crash from car seats without top tethers and lack of modern safety features, you are running a substantial risk of breaking down on the side of the road with kids in the car. You can’t put car seats in a tow truck, so you have to count on someone else’s being available to drop everything and come pick the kids up before the tow truck leaves.
TheElms says
You can’t DIY a tether anchor, it wouldn’t be safe. If a new car isn’t in your budget at the moment, you could buy a Graco Extend to fit which has a 50 lb rear facing limit. Alternatively, how old is your kid? Kids can be booster ready at age 5, depending on maturity. If your kid is 5 and mature enough to sit properly in the seat all the time (even if they are sleeping), then you could buy a High Back Booster for them.
EP-er says
A lot of people don’t know, but there is a weight limit with LATCH — 65 pounds combined weight with child + car seat. All FF seats should be able to be installed with a seat belt, because of this. I would not try to DIY tethers & just go the seatbelt route.
Anonymous says
The tether should be used with both a seatbelt installation and a LATCH installation. LATCH is not an alternative to the tether.
Anonymous says
This is terrible advice. It is far easier to install the car seat properly with LATCH than with the seat belt, and the top tether prevents a lot of back-and-forth motion in a crash. Many, many FF children will be below the LATCH weight limit and can more safely use LATCH than the seat belt.
Anonymous says
It’s not whether the kids are below the Latch limit – it’s kids plus car seat weight which means kids size out of latch a lot faster than people realize. That’s why dionos which are super heavy have fallen out of favour with car seat techs
Agree that tether should also be used with seat belt install. latch is not necessarily safer than seat belt install, it’s just easier.
EP-er says
Yes, this was my point — it is a combined weight limit, which many people don’t realize. So a heavier car seat means a lower child weight before the limit is reached.
And I misunderstood & didn’t realize she was talking only top tether! Sorry OP!
Anonymous says
But the solution isn’t to tell everyone to only use the seat belt for FF installations. It’s to remind people to understand the weight limit.
LATCH is safer when it results in a more secure installation. I have never been able to install a car seat correctly with the seat belt.
EP-er says
But I wasn’t telling everyone to use a seatbelt instead of LATCH. “I would not try to DIY tethers & just go the seatbelt route.” DIY tethers seems like it would be hard to do safely.
I love LATCH — it is so much easier. Everyone should use it. But there are limitations that not everyone is aware of.
Anonymous says
Seat belt installs are super common when people need to get three across. Working with a good car seat tech has always been worth the cost for me. Especially as it allows us to keep them in 5 point harness when they sized out of latch
TheElms says
Yes, that’s true, but once FF you also need to attach the top tether which is different from the LATCH anchors. You use the Latch anchors and top tether or seatbelt and top tether to install a FF car seat. The top tether goes from the top of the FF car seat over (or under or next to it) the car head rest and down the back of car’s seat to an anchor point. The purpose of the FF top tether is to limit the amount the head moves forward in a car crash. Use of a top tether dramatically lowers serious head/neck injuries in FF car seats involved in crashes.
Anonymous says
She’s talking about the top tether anchor, not the lower anchors. Even if you use the seatbelt for the installation, a forward facing carseat is supposed to be tethered to the top tether anchor, which her car doesn’t have.
EP-er says
I’m sorry — I misunderstood that she was talking about top tethers, not the LATCH!
Anonymous says
You’d have to check the car seat manual but the seatbelt install likely recommends but does not require a tether install. We’ve done that a few times on vacations that involves limited driving (to/from airport to beach house).
I’m surprised your vehicle doesn’t have tethers. I have a 2007 as our rarely used second car and even that has tethers.
Anonymous says
Her car could be 17 years older than yours.
The 90s were so long ago
Anon says
Ughhh yes it’s a giant pain in the A! We retrofitted my husband’s ’99 car last year. We bought a parts kit online from our car’s manufacturer and our regular mechanic installed it for us. If that hadn’t worked our plan was to install w/o the tether in DH’s car (for emergency use only) and make my car the primary kid car. Since this is an issue in both your cars, if you can’t find the parts for purchase, I would be inclined to buy rear-facing seats with a higher weight limit. Britax is only 40 pounds, right? You should be able to buy carseats that let you rear face until 50 pounds, at which point you can probably just use a booster seat.
Fwiw we own 1999 and 2014 Toyota Camrys and other than this issue there don’t seem to be major differences in the safety features. They are both lacking in current state of the art features like lane change warnings, but both have airbags and other safety features that became standard in the 1990s. I don’t think breaking down is a huge concern unless you have like 300k miles on the car, and we still take our ’99 on family road trips. We’ve actually had more calls to AAA about our newer car. There’s a lot of snobbism here about older cars but not every car from the 1990s is a beater and for a well-maintained, low mileage car from a good brand like Toyota, 20 years isn’t really that old.
Anonymous says
OP – car make and model?
Anon says
OP – what make and model?
LATCH: you may be able to find a retrofit kit online. It bolts to the frame of your car, underneath the rear seats. Depending on your patience, skill level, and needed tools, you may be able to do this yourself; otherwise, find a reputable independent mechanic to do it.
The tether is another story. My car, same era as yours, has tether attachments. In a station wagon, get in the trunk/cargo space and look for 1″ plastic round covers on the backs of the seats, located about one foot up from the bottom. A sedan would presumably have them on the “rear dashboard,” for lack of a better term. Those covers pop off with a flathead screwdriver and are attachment points for a tether. Buy the tether online and screw in – very simple.
Anonymous says
Where are people buying nice Easter eggs? Mark’s and Spencer and John Lewis have adorable ones, but I cannot afford £50 shipping for Easter eggs so need something available in the US.
AwayEmily says
Wait, my mind is blown. I think of Easter eggs as being made out of actual eggs. That you later eat, preferably as egg salad.
Or maybe, in some circumstances, those cheap plastic things that you put toys inside. But I do not know what a “nice” Easter egg even is!
Anonymous says
I assumed she was talking about nice chocolate Easter eggs? I order those from See’s. They aren’t super fancy, but they are delicious.
Anonymous says
Yes exactly. But I don’t like See’s
Pogo says
Lindt? Williams Sonoma?
Cb says
Now I want a See’s Bourdeaux Easter egg.
Anonymous says
Ughhhh but you can just buy the M&S chocolate koala and Hedwig and train. And the Edinburgh Gin eggs. Dying with jealousy over here in the land of the free and the home of the crappy chocolate.
Cb says
As we speak, I’m eating montezuma dark chocolate and peanut butter truffles. My in-laws always very kindly send Hotel Chocolat for any gifting occasions, but they cannot remember that I hate milk chocolate so my husband gets them all.
Anonymous says
I’m not a candy person but I make an exception for See’s bordeaux!
Anonymous says
Wow!!! Ok so something like this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veggie-Chocolate-Egg-Easter-Rococo/dp/B08V6T5YB3?crid=3J62OP08OMKYF&dchild=1&keywords=rococo+chocolates&qid=1614954958&sprefix=rococo+,aps,198&sr=8-6&linkCode=sl1&tag=britishgq-21&linkId=f20530ec2531a1c7308828114fe8da80&language=en_GB&ref_=as_li_ss_tl
Or this
https://www.marksandspencer.com/collection-extra-thick-blonde-and-white-egg/p/hpp60496415
anne-on says
American chocolate isn’t generally great, so I’m team plastic eggs filled with your candy of choice. We’ve got family allergic to nuts (which usually rules out a lot of store bought chocolate) so we almost always stuff them with jelly beans, sour patch kids, Swedish fish, or coins.
Your yards may be different but we also have had plastic eggs stuffed with chocolate stolen and gnawed on by squirrels/critters so we no longer hide them the night before!
Anonymous says
I don’t put any candy in eggs hidden outside. It only takes a moment for ants to crawl through the little ventilation holes in the eggs. Ask me how I know.
Anonymous says
I know I’m clearly just in the wrong country
Anon says
We buy them at local chocolate stores here – they also often sell them at department stores and occasionally even grocery stores.
octagon says
A relative sent us some last year from Bissinger’s (based in St. Louis) and the chocolate was really really good.
Anon says
Sarris chocolates from Pittsburgh
Katy says
Do you have a local chocolate shop? Expensive but not compared to that kind of shipping.
It’s not Easter for this Canadian without Purdy’s chocolate eggs. Plus a stop at my local chocolate shop. And mini-eggs. And Cadbury cream eggs for the hubby.
For brand that would be widely available, i would go Lindt / Lindor. The tiny foil wrapped bunnies were a big hit with LO last year.
Anonymous says
Update: I caved. Found a local import store that had restocked with only $25 shipping.
Anon says
Happy Monday! Looking for recommendations for wagons. I want one for things like carrying stuff to the beach (and the beach we frequently go to we have to walk a ways over an unpaved path that’s not super wide, but a stroller goes over it); carrying ski gear from the car to the base of the mountain; carrying chosen pumpkins around at the pumpkin patch…. (these are the things in the last year I’ve wished I had one for). So I guess I want one fairly all-terrain, and I think I was reading there are ones where you can both pull but also push like a stroller? So one of those maybe? Any other features that are important?
My kids are 5 and 6 so we don’t really need for them to be able to ride in it, although there could always be a desperate time, so if that is an extra feature we can get with all of this without being too much extra money it wouldn’t hurt. If that ever did happen we definitely don’t need any harnesses or to cater to them with a snack tray or anything.
Thanks! A search on Amazon is just a little overwhelming.
AwayEmily says
Wirecutter has some recs. We have a Costco one and have been perfectly happy with it.
Pogo says
Following. I did a bunch of research and came up with one I wanted but DH refused to believe it would work on sand. Does anyone have one they like for the beach?
Anonymous says
The Mac sports one from Amazon worked well for us on the beach. https://www.amazon.com/Mac-Sports-Collapsible-Folding-Outdoor/dp/B00BUUUIGK/ref=asc_df_B00BUUUIGK/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198107334619&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8030083472768055969&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007325&hvtargid=pla-322492497773&psc=1
TheElms says
We have this as well and used it for the beach. Worked pretty well. I little hard to pull in the very soft sand (need to go in a straight line down to the end of the water where the sand is more firm) and then it was great. We loaded it up with a 1 year old, beach tent, bags, snacks etc and it was great.
anon says
We have an EasyGo Wagon with a canopy that is fairly all-terrain. Plenty of space, the canopy works great, and the wheels roll smoothly. We got lots of comments and compliments when we used it more regularly. I believe it is available on Amazon.
AwayEmily says
I am going to stay in a HOTEL for Thursday and Friday nights (in the city where I live)!! This is a “writing retreat” — I’m trying to finish up my (pandemic-delayed) book manuscript. I’d been wanting to do this for the last six months but decided to wait until after I was vaccinated. So excited to get focused work done, two awesome nights of sleep, and of course room service.
Pogo says
YES!! The dream. I am going to do this soon just for some self care. Enjoy!!
Cb says
Oh my goodness, I am desperate to do the same!! Hotels are super cheap in my city at the moment.
GCA says
Hooray!!! That sounds amazing. A room of one’s own… ;)
FWIW, last year I booked into a hotel for a few days in early November so that I could run a conference in a Europe time zone. Because work was intense, hours were weird and it was off-season, I was holed up in the room almost the entire time and the only people I encountered were one front desk receptionist (behind plexiglass), one chambermaid (20 feet away down the hall), and two food delivery employees. It was almost creepy but I felt very safe!
Anon says
I am traveling (by car) for my first work trip in a year and I am SO EXCITED about the hotel. Plus, there are no vaccine appointments in the major metropolitan areas in my state, but as I’m driving though rural areas anyway I was able to get an appointment!
Anon says
TTC question – my DH and I are TTC. I have been off contraception since Dec 1, and my cycle has been pretty regular since then. But I bought ovulation tests and I have yet to have one be positive. Could there be something wrong? Or I am just not using them correctly? I test twice a day around the time the app says I should be positive, and the lack of positive result is getting me a little down.
Side note: I’m 31 and I know it hasn’t been long enough and I have no reason to be particularly worried. But my mother went through hell with secondary infertility and it’s one of my worse memories of my childhood, so I carry a lot of emotional baggage and anxiety around my ability to conceive, which I am trying to manage. Also, a friend of mine announced her pregnancy this weekend and “it just happened two weeks after I quit the pill!” and I’m very happy for her but I can’t help but be a little bitter about it. Please be kind.
Anonymous says
Can you try taking them every day? It’s possible the app is just very off for you.
Anonymous says
+1 I ovulated way later than I thought I did. Take them every single day and see what happens.
Anonymous says
Get a bag of the cheap tests from Amazon and test twice a day, every day for like a 10 day period before and after when you are “supposed” to be ovulating.
anon says
I’ve conceived four times, each within 3 cycles of TTC (or fewer), and despite religiously taking ovulation tests for all those cycles, have never once gotten a positive, even when I test twice a day to try to “catch” the hormone surge, and even in cycles where I clearly ovulated because I ended up pregnant. If you want to, I would temp (take your basal body temp at the same time before waking each morning) instead – that gives me much clearer results.
Tweeter says
I found out using ovulation strips that I ovulate super early – like day 4-6 of the cycle. Do a test every day for a month at the same time each day a see if that helps. Super cheap strips work fine.
Anonanonanon says
even the daily things were off for me. After months of being increasingly worried I was having secondary infertility, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book she relied on that talked about checking for cervical m u c u s. The one month I did that, it worked out. I’m not sure the tests are right for everyone. I got too in my head about when I was SUPPOSED to be ovulating and if there was something wrong with me, but I think the tests were throwing me off.
Anon says
OP here: Thanks, all – I’ll try it every day for the next cycle and see what turns up (and may try basal temp too). I’m glad to know I’m not the only one!
Elodie says
I had this issue. I also had a pregnancy where I never triggered the ovulation detector:-P What time of day are you doing them? I would find significant variation within the same day, and found I normally got my strongest values in the morning, unlike the typical ±2pm. Also, they vary by brand on how sensitive they are, so, you may need to try a different brand. I went with the strips you dip in a cup, not the fancy detectors that give you a binary result, so that I could see the faint lines. (I’d suggest my brand, but I no longer live in the US, so, can’t recommend a particular brand). Also, I’d encourage you to to track your basal temperature so you can get additional confirmation about approximately when you are ovulating, and that you are indeed ovulating. (I usually get a ov detector say Monday morning is my LH peak, and don’t get a temperature spike until Thursday morning).
Regarding anxiety in general – I’m right in the middle of things myself, and came here today to write something asking for support not going crazy. But first I will share with you the good things I’ve found – the book “It starts with the Egg” is fantastic, go read it! It will give you confidence that you are doing some things to drastically improve your odds. Also, Circle and Bloom meditations are wonderful, as are some on Youtube – I love the Fertility Affirmations by Fertility from the Soul. Best of luck to you!!!
Anonymous says
Not an answer to your question, but an anecdote to alleviate your TTC anxiety:
Kid 1: took 9 months to conceive, I was scheduling consults with a reproductive specialist when I got a positive test.
Kid 2: took 6 months to conceive
Kid 3: assumed it would take at least 6 months, conceived first try.
and that’s how I ended up with 2 under 2. Sometimes it really just is luck. I was under 35 for all my deliveries.
And on deliveries, my kids were 2 weeks late/induced, 2 weeks late/induced and my last was a week early. My water broke IN THE OFFICE and I was in no way ready to go to the hospital because in my mind I had 3 more weeks to go!
Anon567 says
This was me at 32. I got zero positive hits (tested daily) for two months, after an initial four months of ‘trying’. I called my ObGyn who did some basic blood work on my next cycle. The results were such that I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist and ultimately got a PCOS diagnosis. We ended up needing lots of intervention for #1 and ultimately now trying for #2.
I say this not for doomsday, but to say you’re doing the right thing. Test daily, take good notes and if you continue to get negatives call your obgyn with the data. She may say you have to wait until the or 12 month mark for insurance purposes, but even though we had to wait to see the RE, my obgyn was willing to draw blood and start the process. The family history could be compelling, too, depending on the cause of the secondary infertility your mom experienced.
Anonymous says
One thing that helped me was using the app PreMom – you take a picture of your strips and it interprets them for you. I was having a hard time reading them and this helped immensely, and annec-data, I got pregnant the first month using this app. For me, interpreting all those lines was impossible, so you may be getting positive results and not recognizing it.
Lara says
Agree with the Premom recommendation + cheap ovulation strips (I liked Pregmate) daily.
Allie says
The taking charge of your fertility method might work better for your if you’re willing to do it (some friends of mine loved it, some were a hard no).
Anon says
Agree with others that you’ll want to test every day of your cycle, or possibly buy something more high-tech like the Clearblue monitor. Are you having regular periods? There are a couple things that come to mind for me:
1) you aren’t ovulating regularly. This could be due to something like PCOS, and if you never get a positive at any point of your cycle, I would suspect this. Your “period” could be breakthrough bleeding, not a true period
2) You are ovulating later than you think (and therefore stopped testing), and possibly have a too-short luteal phase. You want to have at least 12 days between a positive OPK strip and the start of your period; anything less may not be able to support a pregnancy.
Many apps and predictions are based on a standard 28-day cycle, and very few women actually are regular (I am extremely irregular – anywhere from 26-40 day cycles, but conceived three children quickly with very precise charting)
Anonymous says
DH and I used the every other day method successfully and quickly on both pregnancies. I tried testing a couple months but it never seemed correct. Maybe try that if you want a break from testing or in conjunction with testing? Post twins and having been off BC for almost ten years now and more familiar with my cycle, I think I ovulate twice a month which might explain why I got mixed results with testing.
Anon says
It’s totally possibly for your body to gear up for ovulation twice (the first time unsuccessfully), but impossible to actually ovulate twice. Once a successful ovulation occurs, the progesterone released by the follicle sets into motion a series of events that leads to your period. It is possible to release two eggs, but they are the result of the same LH surge (what causes the OPK to be positive) and occur within a couple days of each other
SC says
I agree with testing every day of your cycle, and/or using the every-other-day method. But I also only ovulate every 3-4 months. I knew that before I was trying to conceive (and so did my doctor). My doctor prescribed Clomid, and I got pregnant on my second cycle.
Anon says
I did ovulation strips for a while, and it turns out that I have a really short hormone surge. If I only tested twice a day, I would have missed it every time. I tested every 2 hours during my projected window.
(It didn’t help, although it did help to learn that I was definitely ovulating regularly. Our issue turned out to be a physical blockage problem and IVF was our path forward).
Anon says
My 5 year old has shark teeth! Apparently this is common but I’d never heard of it. It’s the bottom front tooth coming in behind her baby teeth. It seems that the three teeth in front of the new one are at least a little loose but does anyone have experience with this? I’m afraid they’ll all have to be pulled and have no idea if that’s a big deal or not. I’m making an appt with the dentist today, but just looking to hear about experiences.
Anon too says
Just wanted to share sympathy. I had a super irregular cycle after going off the pill and it was so frustrating. Conception took us about 10 months (I was 32 when we started trying). I used the pre-mom brand of test strips and found them to be mostly accurate. I didn’t use the related app. Good luck!
Ps one of my friends conceived after trying for about 2 months and I was also happy for her but super envious/annoyed.
Anon says
This runs in my family because I had it and one of my kids had it. YMMV, but the dentist just removed my son’s loose teeth in the office without anesthesia or anything because they were really, really loose but weren’t going to come out on their own.
Anonymous says
Yes, if they are pretty loose the dentist can pop them right out, no needles or fuss.
Anonanonanon says
I had it and my son did. I only ever had one pulled as a kid and they gave me gas and let me watch cartoons so it was fine. My son’s always eventually become loose and fall out a day or two before the appointment we have scheduled to have them pulled. The fact they’re a little loose means they’ll probably eventually fall out, the dentist will let you know how long it’s OK to wait. The one I had pulled never got loose.
GCA says
No experience with shark teeth but my almost-6yo had to have a front tooth pulled because it was somehow abscessed with no symptoms (and we had no idea until it showed up on an x-ray); the dentist gave him laughing gas and set up cartoons on the tv and he was completely chill throughout all of it.
anon says
My DD had shark teeth for a good month before her front teeth fell out. Our dentist said she’d eventually intervene, but that it was often a bit traumatic so she liked to give the teeth a chance to come out on their own first.
Mary Moo Cow says
My 5 year old has that, too! We were at the dentist last month for her regular checkup and Dentist was not at all concerned or surprised. He said to just let the teeth fall out and that’s always better for teeth to fall out naturally than to be pulled — he reserves pulling for an emergency. They are super loose and he predicted it would happen within the month. She hasn’t been wiggling them like he suggested, though — I think that since these are her first loose teeth, she’s a little freaked out.
Pogo says
I had this. I also had a lot of baby teeth pulled to help w/ crowding and to facilitate orthodontia. Having a tooth pulled itself is one thing (really, not that bad), but the key is a good, compassionate children’s dentist. I had one scary lady who used to tell me not to cry and I think that scarred me for dental work forever. I can still picture her office! Must have been the only place that took our insurance or something because I know I told my mom how much I hated it.
Anonymous says
Yes. I had a mean dentist pull 2 of my ADULT teeth for orthodontia. At 10 years old he didn’t believe me that the novacaine ain’t wore off. So I was screaming bloody murder and he pulled them out without any pain relief. My mother, who avoids unpleasant situations, sat in the waiting room. We now know that local anesthetic doesn’t last long in my body (same for my dad and sister). It is prob my most traumatic memory and I can’t imagine ignoring my own kid like my mom did. Or how a dentist is that mean to a kid.
Anonymous says
Children’s dentists were all mean back then, and they typically didn’t allow the parents back in the treatment rooms to witness just how mean they were.
Anonymous says
I can’t imagine now that I have my own kids. Their pediatric dentist is SO nice. And as a parent I wouldn’t leave my young child with a strange adult. That’s like ripe for child abuse.
Pogo says
I distinctly remember my mom not being allowed to come back with me. I was little, too – like 6 or 7!
anon says
This happened to all three of my kids. (With the first one I screamed when I first saw them, which he found profoundly hilarious.). Our dentist said it was ok to let them fall out on their own until their next dentist appointment – we didn’t pull any.
Baby gate? says
Hi – We’re moving from an apartment to a house and have a 2 year old and 4.5 year old. Googling suggests getting rid of baby gates at 2. It’s an old house and the steps are pretty steep up to the kids’ bedroom. Do you think we should just not do any baby gates or do one just at the top of the steep stairs or something else? Thanks!
Anonymous says
I’d only get rid of baby gates at 2 if you love trips to the ER!
Anon says
Depends on the kid. My kid could open our gates by that age, and we never had any ER trips.
Katala says
Agree, around 2 my youngest could easily navigate the stairs and started trying to climb the gate which was much more concerning to me.
anon says
We hit a point where we were more likely to trip over a gate than the kid was to fall down the stairs, so we took them down. Our kids were able to navigate up and down the stairs pretty well by 2 yo. We just kept an eye on them and didn’t let them rough house on the upstairs landing.
You may want to have your 2 yo practice on the stairs a bit before going without a gate if they are unfamiliar, but it will probably not take too long.
Anonymous says
we have not yet taken down the gates because sometimes we still want to contain a 3 year old to a certain level, for example – the upstairs during nap / quiet time). He is entirely competent on stairs. So, I would advocate a gate at the top of the stairs at a minimum. In particular – the 2 year old probably has not had a ton of practice on stairs unless they are in his or her daycare or something.
Nan says
Yes, same! We also like them to keep our dogs downstairs.
anne-on says
Same – in our house the ‘baby’ gates are really ‘keep the dog from snarfing the cat’s food’ gates. The dog CAN jump the gates but knows that’s an instant crate-able offense so it works pretty well.
CCLA says
Think this also depends on whether 2yo is in a crib or otherwise contained at night. We just moved into a house as well with similarly aged kids. Ours happens to have no stairs but we almost ended up in one w/ stairs and we were planning to do a gate at top of stairs because we didn’t want our 2.5yo (who recently graduated to a bed on the floor and, while she has yet to come out before morning, technically has free reign of the house) trying to go down them in the dark. If your younger kid is in a crib still or otherwise contained in their room during sleep hours, you can probably get away with no gate.
Anonymous says
We got rid of all gates when our youngest was 2 except the one at the top of the bedroom stairs. We have a big wide staircase and it will be a long time before I’m ready to get rid of that one. My youngest is almost 4 and it still makes me nervous.
Anon says
So I need a little moral support, and any words of wisdom, from those with long TTC journeys. I’m now on month 9 of TTC, and another month where it didn’t work. This past month was really hard because I really thought it had worked, and I was having all sorts of conversations with my baby (yes, I realize I sound crazy now), and I’m surprised as well as heartbroken. I read “It starts with the Egg” before we started trying, and have been following her suggestions to improve my egg good quality (I’m 40). We use basal temp and ov detectors to time. Had an HSG last month, where they said my tubes were wide open. My tests are all coming back with normal results, my husband’s tests are all coming back normal. Our dr has said he wants to wait another 2 months before considering other options. And I’m….heartbroken and just don’t know what to DO. (Well, except for cry; I’m getting good at that:-P) I wish I knew what else to try. Even as I’m exhausted from all the things I’m already trying (no sugar, no alchohol, no dairy, low carb, meditation, the right amount of exercise, CoQ10, etc, etc), and frustrated that I don’t know if they are actually helping. (Maybe I *could* have a cookie?:-P) So…has any got good resources that helped them through the the long months of waiting? Or stories of hope? Anyone used a fertility coach that they would recommend? I feel like I need both practical help to ensure we’re not missing the root cause of the problem (I’m not feeling confident in the medical care I’m getting), and, spiritual support as this goes on.
(I thought I’d gotten comfortable with uncertainty during a string of losses during my 20’s/early 30’s, but, this is bringing up lots of old grief, as well. I didn’t meet my partner until I was 38, and we have a wonderful relationship (he was worth the wait:-)), and I am so excited about the idea of raising a child with him. However I’m starting to feel really angry that after all I’ve been through already, I apparently get to have fertility struggles, too, and I don’t like to see this bitterness creeping in).
Anonymous says
Oh man I am sorry, I understand how you feel (I remember taking my toenail polish off, thinking, well maybe there is a toxin here I should get rid of. Like also knowing that was insane at the same time, but still wanting to try EVERYTHING).
Sounds like you don’t have confidence in your doctor anymore and should switch. Don’t wait. Also, I liked seeing an acupuncturist. Insurance often covers it, and it felt like I was doing something to help myself physically (maybe!), but more critically for my mental health, it was someone neutral I could also cry to about the same time. I liked feeling like I was addressing both physical and emotional issues at the same time.
Good luck! My heart goes out to you.
OP says
Thanks:-) Yes, I totally relate to the nail polish comment. It’s easy to go a little crazy with it all. I’m glad I went all in for a few months, but as things drag on it’s harder to know if it’s worth it… the way your brain starts to go a bit crazy wondering about all potential toxins. I really like the idea of finding an acupuncturist, especially if I could find one with a gentle nature who could care for the emotional side of things a bit. The pandemic has really limited support I can get from friends.
Anonymous says
Have a cookie! My goodness! You’re making yourself crazy. You’re 40. It’s just harder. You do not need to give up sugar and carbs and dairy. Stop talking to a baby that doesn’t exist, keep trying, book an appointment with a fertility clinic now.
anon says
Gently, I would take a step back and make sure you know that whether you get pregnant or not isn’t something you can control. There is an element of statistics and luck (especially at 40), even when everyone is healthy and conditionals are optimal. Please don’t beat yourself up over a cookie or ten.
On the hope side, I’ve heard that an HSG can often clear any gunk out from your tubes and increase odds. Fingers crossed you have good luck in next two months!
OP says
Thank you. Sigh, yes….the lack of control is hard. I know I can’t control things, but that doesn’t mean I like it:-P And it’s easy to try to find ways to try to feel in control, and I see myself evolving in ways that aren’t healthy, hence….this post. Thanks for your good wishes! I am hopeful that the HSG might have cleared things out a bit!
anon says
OK, lots to unpack here. I had issues with secondary infertility in my early to mid-30s, which influences my opinions.
From a practical standpoint, I would get a second opinion. But you’ve done a lot already with testing, and if all looks physically normal, that’s a good starting point.
I say this gently, but you’re already in a lot of emotional turmoil. All these extras (no sugar, no alcohol, restrictive diet) honestly sound extreme, unnecessary, and definitely not guaranteed to help you get pregnant. It may be giving you a false sense of control.
The emotional aspect is hard. It just is; there is no way around it. I remember the cycle of hope + hopes dashed, all too well. I don’t think it would hurt to meet with a therapist, even if only for a few sessions, to help you process all the highs and lows, as well as your grief about starting later than expected.
Anonymous says
My fertility clinic has a therapist on staff and they were so so helpful to me
Anonymous says
Definitely agree that the food restrictions seem over the top. General heathy eating is good but if that’s a huge change from your usual, I would revisit. I tend towards a high metabolism and cutback the long distance running and gained about 5 lbs. before TTC. I can’t know if it made a difference but low stress, food is not scarce seems like a good message to send your body.
Aunt Jamesina says
Yes, therapy is so helpful!
Anonymous says
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but why are you depriving yourself of all that stuff? Eat a cookie! It Starts with the Egg is super victim blame-y (and sexist!!! Where is “It Starts with the Sperm”?!) and I’ve seen some pretty detailed takedowns of it by MDs and scientists who work in this area so my impression is its also pretty anti-science. Anecdata, but in my friend group the people with the worst diet and exercise routines got pregnant super fast.
Anon567 says
Does the doctor have to wait for insurance reasons? Are you with an RE and not just a regular obgyn? Assuming so since you had an HSG, but just make sure you’re with an RE if you’re not. Can you get those next tests/steps scheduled now for Month 13 vs. scheduling them at Month 13, and having to potentially wait longer for availability?
I’m deep in to fertility treatments myself right now. Just coming to say that it sucks. Like – there’s no other word adequate to describe it. Just incredibly, soul-suckingly awful. It’s absolutely amazing to me that people can have unplanned pregnancies given all the interventions I’ve had.
So many hugs. Report back. There are some great women on this board that have been through it all and can help guide you as things progress further.
Pogo says
cosign all of this. If you do not feel like your RE is on board and getting things going, by all means switch! If you feel comfortable posting your location lots of us on here have recommendations in the big cities.
In addition to complimentary therapies like acupuncture, talk therapy, etc – RE offices should also have pretty good insurance/billing departments who can work through your policy and get you your options asap. Like I found out mine didn’t require a certain number of IUIs, so I went straight to IVF after multiple rounds of failed clomid for example. I don’t think I could have figured that out from looking at the plan details alone, but they know these plans in depth. Lean on them, and take advantage of all the other services they offer. Big hugs. It is so hard when you are used to everything being “if I work hard enough, I can just do it!” This is not one of those things.
So Anon says
+1 to all of this. My RE called my plan to verify coverages and that I did not need to go through clomid prior to using injectibles.
Been there says
I’m sorry, it’s so very hard! We are on the other side of a long infertility battle and my best advice is to recognize that this really is something you grieve. I can’t explain it well, but since you’re in the midst of it I imagine you know what I mean. It’s very difficult and emotionally exhausting and isolating and — just freaking hard.
Also, I would seek out an RE if you haven’t already. If you’re 40 and have been trying for 9 months, I would want to take a more aggressive approach than waiting and seeing, personally.
Hang in there, this is so so hard!
OP says
*hug* Thank you Yes…it’s really freaking hard. And I’m grieving…so many hopes and dreams and disappointments. And realizing this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint.
Anonymous says
How often do you and DH DTD? Maybe change that up? Friends who had fertility struggles did a short staycation whenever the stress got to them so everything wasn’t about TTC.
Mary Moo Cow says
You might like Belle Bogg’s “The Art of Waiting.” Reading it felt like a comforting conversation with a very open friend.
OP says
Thank you for this! That sounds exactly like what I need.
Anon says
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Infertility is lonely and hard. I waited 3 years to see an RE because I thought I could do ‘all the things’ and fix it myself. I couldn’t. All of our tests were ‘normal’ too – normal for people in their 40s. Easy, natural fertility at this age is just biologically unlikely, but not impossible with the right kind of help.
The RE I finally saw was wonderful. He told us that while we might be able to conceive on our own, we couldn’t control whether or not conception would occur with a good quality egg. IVF let us select the best, healthiest egg of the 35 retrieved, to improve the chance of a healthy and viable pregnancy. Our big healthy baby girl was born almost exactly a year later, a couple months before I turned 43.
If you don’t trust your doctor, find someone new. This process is hard enough without having a medical professional you feel is on your side.
OP says
Thank you for this! This is really helpful. And I’m so happy for you that you got to finally meet your daughter!
OP says
I’m so happy for you that you got to finally meet your daughter! And this is all so helpful….and good motivation to switch doctors. Thank you!
Aunt Jamesina says
Hi! I’m so sorry you’re going through this and welcome to this sucky club and I am so sorry for your losses. It just isn’t fair. I also went through the phase of religiously following every recommendation under the sun from ISWTE and analyzing every last choice I made. It’s exhausting and easy to beat yourself up. Somebody needs to write a book called “It Starts with Not Blaming Yourself for Every Little Thing”. I think books like those, while they can offer some ideas to improve chances, also offer a false sense of control when you don’t have much. It sucks.
One thing to keep in mind is that the author made all of those changes *while going through intensive fertility treatments* to get pregnant, and we really don’t know how much of her success was due to her dietary and behavior changes and how much was due to IVF. I’d venture a guess that IVF had a whole lot to do with her success and the lifestyle choices maybe nudged the needle a bit more in her favor.
You haven’t mentioned what sort of medical interventions you’re receiving (if any) in your comment. Gently, it’s time to switch to another healthcare provider if you aren’t happy with your current one. Are you working with an RE? Ob-gyns are mostly out of their depth when working with fertility issues.
Anonymous says
“It Starts with Not Blaming Yourself for Every Little Thing” PREACH.
OP says
LOL, thank you for this – “It Starts with Not Blaming Yourself for Every Little Thing”. I grew up in a culture where there was a lot of “if you just do things right, things work out”, and I feel like my entire life has been about realizing that, actually, we have shockingly little control about things. I think your assessment of ISWTE is really on point – it’s helpful, but also gives a sense that we have more control than we do. I *do* believe eating well improves our odd, and giving up dairy has definitely been good for me, but I think maybe I got too hung up on that because it was a way to feel in control.
You are all making me realize I need to get more assertive about navigating the medical situation and doctors. My doctor is very chill, which maybe was ok up to now, but no longer what we need. I’ve never been very good at navigating medical stuff, but now’s a good time to learn.
Best of luck to you!
Aunt Jamesina says
Thank you! Honestly, as hard as so much of this process has been, I’ve been very grateful to have a doctor who is proactive and realistic while still being positive. I’ve decided to make reasonable lifestyle choices (eating well, but allowing for treats, exercising but not agonizing about it), but otherwise have decided to just let my doctor take the wheel, follow her advice and show up. There’s a reason REs (mostly) don’t advise following all of the restrictions in the book, as there’s mixed evidence and can be absolutely crazy-making.
After over a year of overanalyzing, it’s been a relief to give up trying to control everything and just… trust a professional. I’m doing what I can.
Anon says
I understand how you feel and I am sorry you are going through this. TTC can feel very stressful once you hit your late 30s/early 40s. I read It Starts with the Egg in prep for baby #2 when I was 39. Like you, I did all the things – husband and I spent tons of $ on vitamins, getting new cookware/food storage containers, I gave up pedicures, alcohol, and caffeine – because I wanted to feel like I was doing everything possible. After a few months, went went to a RE, again to get started on everything that was in our control. I got pregnant naturally, miscarried, and am now pregnant again naturally and 33 weeks along. Although I conceived the month before my husband and I would have started fertility treatments, I agree to consult with a RE asap. I share my story with you to provide hope. You don’t know how your story will unfold, which for me was very hard, but try to go easy on yourself because you are doing everything you can.
OP says
Wow, yes, you totally get where I am. Thank you for sharing your story. Condolences on your miscarriage, and, I’m so happy for you that you’re to 33 weeks!. I wish you an easy last several weeks of your pregnancy, and a joyful meeting of your new child! And yes…I’m getting the message loud and clear that I need to be more assertive about my dr.
Anon says
No solutions, just commiseration as I am there on the journey for no.2. It took 9 months of trying, then a miscarriage, a few months to heal and get regular again, and now we’re on month 13 of yet another negative test. My husband said to me this week I am going to laugh so hard if you buy new clothes and then get immediately pregnant, and I pointed out that I have bought no new clothes in 2 years in anticipation of being pregnant. At some point, you just need to live your life (and yes, I started with an order for some new bras this week and will happily call it a sunk cost if I have to). The biggest practical thing for me lately has been caving and buying the Ava to help pinpoint ovulation better and give us a better window to DTD (with a preschooler who doesn’t sleep well or much and often sleeps with us, we try to get it in when it will “count”).
OP says
LOL I’m so with you. How about this – you enjoy those lovely new bras, and I’ll go buy some up-to-date jeans:-) Best of luck to you!
Anonymous says
Fwiw, I had 3 miscarriages, bought new bras, and was pregnant the next month – and that one stuck. + 1 to some point, you just need to live your life.
Anon says
I was never able to conceive even with fertility treatments but I still enjoy reading here because it helps me get some insight into my friend’s lives that do have kids. I rarely chime in since I’m not a mom but your post grabbed at my heart because I remember being in your shoes.
You are going to so desperately search out the success stories of people that eventually got a baby. I gently urge you to also seek out the stories for people that ended up child free not by choice.
I personally think some fertility clinics fudge their statistics some to be overly positive. They will never tell you to stop and they will keep offering you more and more things you can try for more and more money. Before you go down the fertility treatment road, try to get an idea of how much money you are comfortable spending and how much you are willing to sacrifice of your time and sanity. If you are struggling emotionally with not being pregnant, will you be okay if an IVF fails? Are you going to be devastated about the embryo you have a picture of and felt bonded to even though it makes no sense logically?
I’m hear to say if it doesn’t work out, you are going to be okay. You and your husband are going to have a joyful marriage doing all kinds of great things, it is just going to look different than you originally planned.
If you decide to try fertility treatments, give yourself permission to change your mind and say this isn’t for you. I was so emotionally devastated when my one IVF didn’t work that I couldn’t put myself through that again. Other people will try 8 rounds. You do you but give yourself lots of grace and try to mentally prepare yourself if you need to go with Plan B or Plan C.
Pogo says
This is really touching, thank you for taking the time to share.
OP says
Thank you for this. Just the fact you are reading this blog makes you an inspiration to me, as you’ve clearly found a way to be at peace with where you are, and able to read about life with kids with a desire to understand and bless others. I do feel extremely grateful to my husband…and thank you for reminding me that we can have a joyful wonderful marriage no matter what, and that there are people that didn’t get what they wanted in life and have found a way to be at peace and find joy and meaning in other ways. We’ve talked about wanting to maybe do foster care if things don’t work out, and it felt good to envision a life that felt good, even if things don’t work out with getting pregnant. Many of my favorite moments in life have been with kids, so, I think kids will be a part of whatever “after” looks like. Thanks for the affirmation that we’ll find our way.
Anonymous says
This is a very insightful comment. This is another story along the same lines: https://cupcakesandcashmere.com/motherhood/how-my-20-year-struggle-with-infertility-redefined-my-identity
anon says
I guess I have a story of hope, but it’s also a cautionary tale. I got married right before turning 38 and am one of those people for whom “failure is not an option” and was constantly told “I can do anything I can put my mind to.” I’m not sure how to even count the number of rounds I did — some with my own eggs and some with donor eggs. Yes, I eventually had success with a donor egg, and had my child at 43. But I think both of these things are true — I love my child and wouldn’t change anything, but I should have stopped the fertility treatments sooner than I did. I was a bit like you, but probably more extreme — changed my diet, exercise, meditation, yoga, hypnosis, energy healing, fertility massage, handfuls of vitamins, acupuncture, no alcohol, no caffeine, minimize or eliminate all stress, find all the toxins, do all the tests, etc. etc. It became my second career, and it was mentally and physically exhausting. There was never any reason or “root cause” given for my infertility except age/egg quality. I don’t think anything I did actually helped, and I think the industry as a whole can be very damaging to women, with the “if only you do this thing, or buy this vitamin, or give up this food,” you will have a baby. I think I might suffer from some form of PTSD because of my experience. But I echo what others are saying — don’t blame yourself for anything. Don’t let infertility treatments take over your life. Find a good therapist to support you — preferably one with infertility experience! Have open and honest discussions with your husband about how much time and money you want to spend on treatments. Ask for support. Accept that you cannot control this, and may not get what you want, despite all the optimism and “new approaches” from your RE. I echo everything Anon at 1:17 said. The cycles of hope and disappointment can be crushing and take a toll on your own mental health and your marriage. There is definitely a tendency to blame yourself. It’s just so hard. The one thing that I did that I thought was helpful for me was to find a good acupuncturist. She was so soothing and comforting, and I found the sessions so relaxing, that they really helped me mentally (although it was expensive and I don’t think they improved any outcome).
Anonymous says
Just to let you know that infertility PTSD is a real thing and not that uncommon. Don’t be afraid to seek out a therapist with experience in that area if you think it might help you come to terms with your journey.
Anon says
I don’t have a fertility coach to recommend, but I do highly recommend Kerry and her Fertility Yoga program –
https://fertilebodyyoga.com/
Disclaimer: I’m not Kerry, and I don’t get paid to recommend her class (nor does she know I’m doing so). I took her Fertility Yoga classes in person when we lived in Boston and I was going through IVF, and she’s moved her classes online permanently. She’s awesome, she’s been there, and it’s so nice to get out of your own head for 60-90 minutes with other people who understand.
Anon for this says
WYYD. I’m 36. Met with fertility specialist to discuss path to #2. I had a hunch, but doc confirmed, I’d need to wean (LO is 18 mos, still doing AM/PM) before starting process. I’m sad – halfway vaccinated and felt good about passing along protection, plus the bonding. I can sense losing interest in morning but PM still bringing LO comfort particularly during teething. Doc said there is no ticking clock and I should be at peace with my decision before moving forward. I’m sad but knew this would have to end, and know LO will be an amazing sibling. But, tell me internet strangers who may have been in this position, how would you embark on this knowing what you know?
Anonymous says
YMMV but the Covid antibodies would be huge to me. This is your last chance for a year or more to give your kid protection from Covid, and while I know kids don’t generally get seriously ill from this virus, being able to give my kid protection through breastmilk would be a very compelling reason to maintain the nursing relationship.
Anon says
This is a tangent, but have antibodies been shown to stick around? Especially with the mRNA vaccines, I was under the impression that they train your body to produce antibodies again when they may need them, not that the antibodies they produce would always be around. So I’m wondering how beneficial breastfeeding is long-term unless you and kid are actively sick (and I say this as an extended nurser who will get the vaccine while nursing – I’ve just been puzzling over the true benefit)
But I agree with continuing at least a couple weeks past the second shot to protect the toddler for another couple months
Anonymous says
Antibodies should stick around a while in the mom. Not forever and you have some immunity even if the antibodies disappear, but studies suggest antibody titers remain high for up to a year in people who got the Covid vaccines. Antibodies transferred through breastmilk won’t last long though, so any benefit to your child probably ends pretty much immediately after you wean.
Anonymous says
I would keep nursing until after the second vaccine +14 days.
Anon says
So I had to deal with this pre-covid. I was absolutely unable to get pregnant while nursing, even only twice a day. It was a bummer, because we’d settled into a really lovely nursing relationship and it was so easy to provide comfort to the kid. But I wanted the second baby so badly. And you know what? Weaning did suck, but it was brief and it was worth it. I got pregnant the next cycle and my oldest was so, so delighted to have a sibling.
OP says
thank you for sharing!
Anon says
I don’t have a link to a scientific source, but I’ve been hearing that, based on how other vaccines/antibodies work, that antibodies received through bmilk can help the child fight an active infection since the virus would be in the gut at that time, but are not likely to enter the bloodstream for extended protection against future infection. Unlike vaccines during pregnancy where the mother’s blood is shared with the fetus and may transfer protective antibodies. Just another view that might be worth investigating. It’s hard, and I personally might keep nursing just in case, but it’s so tough to weigh against timing considerations.
OP says
You’re right – much to consider on this topic but I think the consensus is the antibodies stop when you stop. With more family (and hopefully teachers) getting vaccinated, I do feel better about the last shot + two weeks approach someone suggested. And when I do close this chapter, it came with some serious milestones; an entire year of child’s life and an entire year of pandemic.
Clementine says
I recognize that I should know this, but right now I’m in a mode where I just want to get STUFF out of my house.
What does my 1 year old want for a birthday gift? I have loads of hand me downs and feel like I’ve got all my bases covered. I absolutely don’t want or need more toys in this house, but also feel like I’m all set on the outdoor toys too. And yet… I know I have people who will want to give her something physical.
Ideas please! All I can think is ‘UGH. not more STUFF.’
anonamama says
Some favs to give/receive: Highlights ‘Hello’ Mag subscription (excellent for the car)! New shoes! Zoo passes! Tubby Todd/bougie bath products! Pinhole Press board book of names & faces!
Mary Moo Cow says
A new lovey or stuffy or blanket? Those don’t get passed down in my house because you can pry them from Big Sister’s cold dead hands (even the ones that live in the closet.) Same, sometimes, with books (they are very proprietary with some books.)
Consumable stuff, like stickers or window clings or bubbles?
A friend of mine riffles through her hand me down toys for things the younger sibling hasn’t seen and wraps them up to make them feel special.
This is tough. If it makes you feel better, I’ve definitely given away unopened toys that were gifted because we, too, just had too much stuff.
Clementine says
I try and give away as much as possible but… it’s complicated in my house. I did get kiddo a beautiful new blanket that is kiddo’s and not a hand me down from an older sibling.
Bubbles are good! I normally go with consumables but right now we’re drowning in art supplies (combination of kids not needing stuff as frequently and me saying in the past ‘Oh! Art supplies are great!’ too many times).
Anon says
Annual memberships to zoos if they are opening up where you are and you feel comfortable going?
Clementine says
We don’t have one or I totally would!!
AwayEmily says
Book box subscription (we do Brilliant Books, and I’ve heard good things about BookRoo and OurShelves) and/or magazine subscriptions (Highlights forever).
Also, think about “useful” stuff (even if she’s not quite ready for it yet) that could double as a gift.
– A new sleeping bag for future camping trips
– A helmet for when she starts scooting
– A life jacket for the summer
– Kid headphones
Anonymous says
Good advice. Books are my go-to in this situation but I like the idea of practical items as well.
Clementine says
Sleeping bag is a good idea!
I like the way you think – life jacket and helmet were what kiddo got for christmas from the grandparents (at my suggestion).
CCLA says
I also hate stuff but have zeroed in on big stuff being the problem – another castle, another boat, etc., that needs somewhere to live. I have realized that adding a few new little people figurines doesn’t bother me at the same level because they just get dumped into the bin with all of the other little people friends that rotate in and out of favor – maybe something like that, where they’re adding to a group of things that you already have.
Also seconding the “useful” and “consumable” recs . My kids got sleeping bags and have yet to use them camping but love breaking them out in the living room, floor of their room, anytime really.
Clementine says
THank you, I just… I hate all of it right now. I have bins, I rotate toys… part of it is that I want to be a minimalist but just can’t be for Reasons and it drives me nutty.
Anonymous says
Books, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, scooter, magazine subscription (my kids loved the highlights baby and toddler magazines)
Clementine says
Bubbles and sidewalk chalk are good ones!
Re: magazine subscription – two different grandparents tried that last year and for a while we had 2 copies of ranger rick and/or the toddler highlights (Ladybug?) coming to the house monthly.
Pogo says
Fun bath stuff? Which gives you the opportunity to toss your old bath stuff.
Clementine says
So maybe it’s just me, but all my kids want to play with in the tub are: green toys boats that double as hair washing pitchers, cups (just plastic cups) and the ‘funnels’ which are actually the horns I have leftover from pumping. Oh, and the baby likes to eat those foam letters. We need nothing more.
anon says
Haha, I love that you’re repurposing your horns as bath toys. That’s actually genius.
Clementine says
They’re also perfect to use for narrow mouthed bottles that need a funnel for formula. Waste not!
Anonymous says
PSA the breastmilk bottles are also so handy in the kitchen – i got them out of storage.
Something for salad dressing that seals really well and is smaller than a mason jar? Decanting stuff for a camping trip? the glass of milk that kiddo didn’t touch? medala bottles to the rescue!
Anon says
What about useful stuff like swimsuit, sun hat, rain boots, dishes/silverware, lunch box/water bottles, pajamas? Or consumable stuff like chalk, art supplies, bubbles?
Clementine says
I love the way that you think – so much so that baby’s christmas list of things that were received were litereally: swimsuit, sun hat, new dishes/silverware/pajamas.
anon says
Clothes? I feel like every kid can use a refresh, even if they have hand-me-downs from siblings.
Anonymous says
Does it make you feel better if the “STUFF” they are giving are hand me downs from their house? This is what I have been doing with my sister. E.g. ALL the paw patrol as a gift would have p1ssed me off if it was brand new, but someone it is less offensive because her kids already played with it?
Also agree re: Add ons vs. new toys (e.g. more duplo is better than introducing megablocks into the mix*)
*specific example of something that never saw the light of day in our house.
So Anon says
I need to share a couple of amazing parenting moments from my last few days: We had unseasonably warm weather late last week (back to 12 degrees F today). My daughter (7) decided that she was going to ride her bike. Over the span of three days she went from very wobbly pedaling down our street with me at her sides to confidently riding away from me with no support. Letting go over her, and watching her ride away from me, even as I jogged to keep up was a feeling that I don’t think I will soon forget: happiness, pride, fear and gratitude all rolled in to one. On one of the journeys outside, my daughter convinced her autistic brother to come out and watch her. He jogged along side me for a few and then waited for her to return. When she pulled up next to us, he said, “Wow. That was really impressive! I am so proud of you.” And he truly meant every word of it. Inspired by his sister, he decided to try riding his bike. Given his challenges with coordination, motor planning and other things, I wasn’t sure he would ride his bike for a long time (he’s 10). He hopped on his bike, and I kept a very tight grip. He was very stern that I was not to let go. I started loosening my grip, and he was able to balance. We talked about learning to ride and to expect to be wobbly and maybe fall. Yesterday he was riding his bike too. He still needs a bit of coaching, but he was so proud of himself and I was close to tears. It was a good weekend.
Mary Moo Cow says
Yay, yay, yay!
Mm says
This has me close to tears too (in a good way). So sweet, thanks for sharing.
CCLA says
Same. So sweet, thank you So Anon for sharing.
Anonymous says
Same! Much love to you!
Pogo says
Same, this is so lovely. And such a sweet moment between siblings too.
Cb says
Wow So Anon, your kids sound amazing and so do you! Teared up reading this.
Anonymous says
This is the content that I needed this morning. Thank you for sharing these great moments.
Friday says
This is so sweet So Anon. Happy for you. Thanks for sharing.
anne-on says
That’s amazing and such a win for you (both in terms of kid compassion AND learning new skills!!)
Boston Legal Eagle says
Your kids are so lucky to have you and each other. Thanks for sharing.
So Anon says
Thank you all for the kindness! I think one of the weirdest hard challenges of solo parenting is witnessing awesome moments and not having a SO to turn to share in those moments. Thanks for being my people on this one!
Anonanonanon says
You’re doing an amazing job and raising amazing children! And I agree, when it was just me, that was something that was really hard that I hadn’t anticipated. Thank you for sharing it with us! We’re all proud of you and those kiddos!
anonamama says
this pulled at my heart! wow, what a moment and some seriously lovely children. way to go, mama.
Anonymous says
Ugh it’s self-evaluation time at work. I know I can’t but I want to write “I was pandemic parenting for a year, with no childcare for half of it, of course I didn’t meet my goals.”
Anonymous says
I fully support you writing this…. in only very slightly different language. Also – how did the business’ goals change due to pandemic (not sure how impacted your company was)
Anon says
You got this! Think about all of the challenges you faced and everything you were still able to accomplish. Even if you didn’t exceed your goals, you still met deadlines and kept balls in the air. Focus on what an achievement it is to even be able to say that.
I used lots of phrases like
“As priorities shifted quickly at the end of Q1, I pivoted to focus on X. I accomplished….”
“While navigating through a challenging year, I accomplished Y and Z…”
“Although our team focused on only top priority deliverables, I made sure to prep A and B so we are ready to pick this project back up once it is back in scope.”
Anon says
As a manager, I would recommend you write a version of this. Make sure you acknowledge all you did do (especially is COVID changed your workload).
I would frame it positively. This was a very difficult year. A lot of unexpected things happened. I had success in these ways. I am confident that going into this next year (hoping for the end of the pandemic) I will achieve these things.
I kind of expect that from everyone – not just parents.