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This is a classic dress that you’ll be able to wear for years to come. There is nothing trendy about this dress — it looks pretty timeless to me. I like the high neck and that the shoulders have a wide strap area — no worries about bra straps peeking out. The band at the waist is nice with the large decorative buttons.
I think what keeps this from looking TOO classic is the slit that comes from the waist area and is ever so slightly angled down the front. I can foresee being able to wear this for a long time!
The dress is $34.99 and is also available in “gray-green” at H&M. Fitted Dress
This black dress at Eloquii is a nice alternative at $89.95 and is available in sizes 14–28.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
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- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
strollerstrike says
Feeding question:
I have been trying to follow feeding littles/BLW/self feeding but my 13 months old just does not eat enough if I don’t supplement with purees/spoon feeding. I have resorted to either feeding him by spoon during dinner time or offering spoon fed oatmeal close to bed time because otherwise he will wake up hungry in the middle of the night.
At what age should kids be able to eat enough on their own?
Anonymous says
In my observation, BLW babies take much longer to get to the point where they can self-feed adequate quantities of food than babies whose parents incorporate spoon-feeding. Babies who start with purees learn to swallow food early on, whereas BLW babies tend to spend months just playing with the food and spitting it out. By the time they get to the finger food stage (8-9 months), babies who have been eating purees tend to be ahead. They actually swallow much of the food they put in their mouths, as opposed to the BLW babies who still can’t swallow the food. The spoon-fed babies also start grabbing the spoon and learning to spoon-feed themselves high-calorie, satisfying foods like yogurt, cottage cheese, and mac and cheese earlier than BLW babies.
All of the BLW babies I’ve known have been incredibly fussy and unhappy at around age 1. They constantly demand to nurse and basically act as if they are starving all the time. They tend to mellow out around age 2 once they start to eat enough. I think you are doing the right thing to supplement with spoon-feeding. I’d try to focus on spoon-feeding foods with more texture (e.g., adult oatmeal instead of baby oatmeal) and encouraging him to use the spoon himself. The perforated spoons are great when they are first learning to self-feed–they can just mash the spoon into the bowl and food will stick in the holes, so they can still get some food into their mouths even if they can’t scoop properly.
Anonymous says
I have two BLW babies/kids and this hasn’t been true for either of them?? I also know lots of BLW families where this isn’t the case. Both my kids were mashing/swallowing food at 6 months and eating a lot of solids at a year. Neither of them are fussy or hungry, and very tall so obviously they’re getting enough food. They also both started using a spoon for oatmeal to feed themselves before a year.
For the OP though – I think a mix of purées and solids is fine.
Anonymous says
This was not the case with my BLW child either, nor anyone I knew personally. I know we’re all equally presenting anecdotes on equal ground here, though.
anon says
So I know BLW seems like the ‘ideal’ feeding philosophy, but we had twins who needed to go to bed early and our goal at that age was just to get food into them. We’d generally start by splitting a 4oz puree between the two of them and then give them a sippy cup of milk and some finger food for the rest of their dinner. They still learned how to use utensils and feed themselves completely on their own, but this saved our sanity for several months.
AwayEmily says
I can’t offer my own experience as we did both purees and finger food, but my friend who did strict BLW had the same issue and compromised on giving purees that would be purees in the “real world,” if that makes sense. So, she would offer thick carrot soup, applesauce, oatmeal, dal, mashed sweet potato, creamed spinach — basically anything that adults ate mushy, she would give to her kid. But she wouldn’t puree, like, chicken or broccoli.
Seemed somewhat arbitrary to me but it worked for them and fwiw her kid is a great eater now!
Anon Lawyer says
Hah, that’s mostly what I do but not for philosophical reasons. Purées that wouldn’t normally be purées at all just seem gross to me.
Anonymous says
I can do puréed veggies, but pureed meat makes me nauseous. I feel actually ill looking at it.
Anon says
I wasn’t a strictly BLW person so we started with purées, but by 13 months my twins were generally feeding themselves. They also had milk like an hour after dinner. Does your kid drink milk?
Boston Legal Eagle says
I know there was a whole long discussion here about BLW, but is the thinking that the kids won’t be able to feed themselves if they have purees? My kids both had purees and we spoon fed them when they were younger, and now can both feed themselves just fine (well the 2 year old is extremely picky, but we don’t have to spoon feed him and he can hold a spoon and fork by himself). All to say is that if it’s easier to spoon feed now to get everyone more sleep, I would go for it. You’re not ruining your kid here.
Anonymous says
So we did BLW because we found it easier than having to sit there and spoon feed a baby. Basically it’s part of my lazy parenting philosophy. But I think the thinking is that kids are exposed to many more textures and types of food at an earlier age. And they know what food actually looks like rather than just what it tastes like in purée form. It’s supposed to prevent picky eating (I’m not sure if there’s actual scientific research on this). My anecdotal observation is that a lot of purée-reliant families have picky eaters/kids with texture issues. Also BLW allows the child to choose how much they eat rather than being spoon fed and the parent controlling it. But this is just my observation. My BLW kids are not picky eaters…but that could just be luck.
Anonymous says
I can see how only feeding purées would lead to texture issues, but I don’t understand why doing both purées and finger food would be harmful. It seems like this is a case where the presence of “real” food is more important than the absence of puréed food. We didn’t do BLW with the giant pieces to gnaw on, but we did purées in combo with small pieces of whatever we were eating from the beginning and kiddo doesn’t have any issues with textures. She ate everything we ate for about a year and a half and then she reverted to a typical toddler carb-heavy diet, but it’s not a texture issue at all.
Anon Lawyer says
The hard core BLW people have a theory that babies can’t learn to both swallow purées and gum finger foods and thus will choke if you do both. It’s not supported by science.
Anonymous says
That’s crazy, and seems totally unscientific. My kid and many others I know did just fine with both purées and finger foods.
Anon Lawyer says
There is research and it shows that everyone ends up in the same place regardless of BLW or traditional. Theres a good rundown in Cribsheet. I would suggest that fussy kids from purée families might have been fed purées in part because they were fussy as babies too.
I have done a combo and honestly, spoon feeding is not force feeding. My baby is totally in control of whether she takes more food from the spoon or not and is 100% happy to reject it when she’s done. I was theoretically gung ho about BLW but she was just not there yet.
Anon says
Yeah lazy puree parents don’t increase the texture of the purees, which you’re supposed to do every month or so. So that by a year/18 months the kid is just eating finger foods.
And if you think that spoon fed kids don’t “choose how much they eat”, you’ve never actually met a kid. :: eye roll emoji ::
Anonymous says
Most people seem to do a combo of BLW and some spoon feeding. We chopped whatever we were having for dinner into small pieces for baby to self feed but I also preloaded spoons in the early days so baby just had to put the food in their mouth. Combos like ground beef and avocado (taco night) or diced roast pork and apple sauce stay on the spoon well. If baby was clearly tired but hungry, sometimes I spoonfed directly, but I avoided the whole ‘airplane’ trick the baby into opening their mouth thing. Higher protein foods like eggs, meat, and cheese can also help with satiety.
Anon says
I have a 13 month old, too! He’s a good eater but we definitely still spoon feed him. I give him finger foods plus something to spoon feed at meals. He’s made a lot of progress toward eating a lot of finger foods but I sometimes spoon or hand feed him a bit or two to get him going. I think there’s also a texture thing at play – he doesn’t like foods that are too firm. I actually don’t think it matters much if you are a blw purist or spoon feed — the evidence against spoon feeding is pretty much nonexistent. If you’re in the reddit group, from there it seems like there’s a pretty wide variety in how well the kids eat.
Anon says
Have you taken the Feedling Littles Toddler Course? At 13 months you should be less reliant on spoon feeding (even if you weren’t doing BLW, by 1 year the general goal should be meals very similar to yours, and they should be able to eat enough on their own).
I love Feeding Littles, and did BLW from 6-12 months without them, but I did their toddler course and found it REALLY helped me. It helped me chill out about things, and it gave me good tricks to help keep my kid engaged during meals. Following them on instagram gives you a lot of the same information, but I really recommend doing the actual course.
TheElms says
I have a 16 month old and I subscribe to the “feed your kid anyway that works for your family” school of thought. We did a mix of purees and finger foods initially. At 16 months she mostly eats what we eat but still stuff like applesauce, yogurt, oatmeal, etc. that is technically a puree. Some days kiddo is great and feeds herself 95% plus of the food. Other days she is tired/too hungry/teething/or just a toddler and needs more help (peas are tricky and take forever to eat one by one – much faster if I spoon feed them too her!) Sometimes she needs a lot of help. She does the least well at self feeding when she is tired or too hungry. On those days / meals I start by feeding her. Once she is less hungry she often will participate more.
13 months is still really little in the grand scheme. I would do what works now (so spoon feeding if needed), offer opportunities to practice self feeding, and ask your pediatrician at your next appointment. At our last appointment I think our pediatrician asked if kiddo was self feeding and said that she was looking for confident self feeding at 2 years old, with some reasonable use of utensils at that age.
strollerstrike says
Thanks everyone! My son has severe dairy and egg allergies, so we are already limited to what we can feed him. I feel down too deep the BLW rabbit hole after taking the feeding littles toddler class. It is good to hear that a combination of finger food and puree seems to be ok.
Anon Lawyer says
BLW sounds so appealing but I just don’t think the straight approach works for every kid and family. I wish more parenting guru-types would present their philosophy as “here is a cool strategy to try that works great for some people” as opposed to “if you don’t do this you will RUIN YOUR CHILD.” See also: Janet Lansbury who I absolutely loathe for pretending that if you do tummy time your baby won’t grow up to be independent.
Katarina says
I did not do BLW, but my kids varied significantly on when they were primarily self feeding. It is a developmental milestone, where kids vary when they are ready. My oldest never really got into purees, and all of his non-milk food was self fed. I did introduce prune purees at a year to address constipation, which I spoon fed, and I added yogurt at some point I can’t remember.
My middle one transitioned himself to self feeding for most of his non-milk nutrition around 9 months. He was the one who took to solids the quickest.
My youngest was still having a significant amount of purees until 15 months or so. This is partly because he had a hard time transitioning to drinking water from a cup, and I wanted to make sure there was sufficient water content in his food. He was also continuing to nurse a lot, so getting a lot of his nutrition that way.
MNF says
My kids was able to eat “enough” by 1.
How do you know your kid is waking up hungry? Is he expressing hunger specifically and are you feeding him in the middle of the night? I’m into blw for our family because as another poster mentioned it’s easier for me (can we start a proudly lazy parent club?). Our routine is that kid is fed at mealtimes, breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, with milk before nap/bedtime. We present food and she chooses what to eat. If she doesn’t eat lunch, then she will wait until snack time. It’s not punitive, it’s more of an attitude like – oh you’re not hungry now, then wait a while and you’ll build up your hunger for snack time. And she usually does eat more later. I feel like a kids would have to be starving pretty hard to have it wake them up? Mine is 95 percentile everything, so she’s def getting enough. We did feed purees mixed with finger foods because my mother watches her sometimes and was worried about blw, so she only gave purees.
1-2-3 Magic says
Working my way through 1-2-3 Magic which I know has been read by a lot of readers here. The philosophy sounds simple enough and I am encouraged it may work for my toddler. For those that have employed the model, how did it go for you? Tips/tricks that aren’t necessarily talked about in the book?
CPA Lady says
It went great. The key for me was clearly stating what needed to happen and what the consequence would be for non-compliance *before* the counting started. Keep it as simple and calm as possible.
Example: Kid is refusing to get into car seat.
I would say: You need to get in your car seat right now. If you don’t get into your car seat by yourself by the time I count to three, I will have to put your in your car seat (kid hated that).
*brief pause while waiting for compliance*
Start counting.
Kid either did or didn’t get in her car seat, and I either said “thank you, good job!” or I wrestled her into her car seat kicking and screaming.
It only took a few times for her to get that there would be an immediate logical consequence. Even now, years later, when we start counting, she knows we’re serious.
My husband (who didn’t read the book) likes to start counting before telling kid what the consequence will be, and I don’t like that. She needs all the info up front, IMO.
Be sure to have a consequence you can live with, because you MUST follow through. Both parents need to be on board with this. It’s easier when it’s a natural consequence like “if you don’t get into your seat yourself, I will have to put you there”. That’s better for younger kids. Once they get a little older, you can start doing more “losing privileges” type consequences. But I always hated when my husband would give kid a consequence that would make my life harder, so we had to have a talk at one point about taking ownership of the consequence’s impact on the other parent– if you’re going to tell kid no screen time for the rest of the day, you need to be ready to entertain her because I need to get xyz done and I’m the one she bothers when she’s bored.
Also, don’t draw the counting out, esp. for little kids. There are sections in the book about using counting throughout the day for much older kids, but for my little, it was always all counted out in the moment, allowing enough of a pause that she could reasonably do what she needed to do during the count, but not enough of a pause that she could dawdle. No “one and a half, one and three quarters” either. This isn’t a fractions lesson.
SC says
Oh, man. When my Kiddo was right at 2 years old, a child-free friend of ours spent the weekend with us. We were trying our best to be good hosts but child friendly. We went to a crawfish boil/competition. It was spring but super hot outside, so we decided to go get sno balls at our neighborhood stand, which had just opened for the season. On the way to the car, Kiddo started picking flowers in the neighbors’ yards (not wildflowers, but flowers the neighbors actually planted and I’m sure wanted to stay there). I did the 1-2-3 Magic thing, with the consequence of not being able to get sno balls. It was SO sad to follow through–it turns out the adults wanted sno balls much more than the 2 year old, who probably had no memory of them from the previous summer and no idea what he was missing. Lesson learned–think through the consequence you have to impose.
Anon says
Oh for sure!! Many times consequences have been worse for me. I’ve also learned to only give a consequence when I must – so, if I walk over and stop my kid from picking the flowers and put her in the car instead of requiring her to stop on her own, I have avoided a standoff and protected the flowers (not judging your past self – I have done this plenty and then wondered why I chose this to hill to die on…)
Anonymous says
Yeah in this situation I just pick up my kid after a verbal warning. There isn’t usually something we can take away that she wants badly enough.
Anonymous says
Tips for us include making the consequences natural ones (I’m going to take away the markers unless you put it down, etc) and using a Very Stern Voice. My biggest problem is that it can actually be very hard to determine appropriate and natural consequences in the moment.
AwayEmily says
I don’t do 1-2-3 magic but we do use natural consequences and I have this vivid memory of picking the kids up from daycare when they were 6 months and 2 years old and the 2yo just stopped in the hallway and refused to budge. I couldn’t carry them both so in desperation I finally came up with “if you don’t come with me now, we….won’t have time for stories before bed tonight.” Not the most direct causal chain, but it worked.
When the kids started sharing a room the “natural consequence” I gave the younger one for talking after lights-out was that I would move him to the pack-n-play in the guest room. We did it a few times, he learned, and after that would always stop after one warning. Then he did it again a few months later, did NOT stop after one warning, and I had to go up to the attic, get the pack-n-play, set it up, and move him in, all while both kids were wailing in agony about being separated. That one hurt.
anon says
Yeah, every single time we separate my kids because one won’t stop talking and is keeping her sister away, the one left beyond in their room wails and wails about being lonely.
anonymous says
not an important point, but it comes up enough when reading various discipline/parenting books that it’s worth mentioning to avoid confusion – a “natural” consequence is something that would happen without the parent at all – i.e. if you drop something, the natural consequence is that it falls.
A “logical” consequence is directly and logically related to the action, but the parent has to enforce it – e.g. if you drop something, a logical consequence is that you have to stop and pick it up.
An “imposed” consequence (sometimes just called “a consequence” but more accurately called “a punishment”) is something that might be related in the parent’s mind but is not a direct, logical outcome of the behavior, e.g. a time out, taking away a privilege, or anything that happens later in time.
Anon says
+1. Natural are best (helpful for driving home cause-and-effect, and discipline is above all about learning) but sometimes you have to impose logical. I think many of us were raised with a coercive type of consequence – you do this because I say so or I will do this unrelated Bad Thing to you – but it mostly leads to resentment and damaged trust. I still fall into that punishment trap too often but am working really hard on logical consequences instead
anonymous says
Me too. It’s hard because sometimes the natural consequences don’t impact the child’s behavior at all, and there isn’t a logical consequence that I can easily enforce (if you have to “think of” a logical consequence, it’s probably not really logical, and more of an imposed consequence/punishment). I do find myself relying on “if… then…” threats more than I’d like (“if you can’t play nicely here, then I’ll have to take you to your room”).
Anon says
one of my 2 year old twins drinks A LOT of water. i haven’t counted exactly, but probably at least 100 ounces a day if not more. sometimes i feel like i’m changing her diaper every hour or her diaper ends up literally soaking as do her clothes. i’ve asked the doctor and they are like, oh she is just very thirsty… has anyone else encountered this problem? any ideas? i don’t really want to restrict her water intake, but i can’t imagine potty training her if she continues to drink this much and it’s just so many diapers
Anonymous says
Has she been tested for diabetes? That’s a lot of water. I would push back as that seems like an extremely high amount of water for a two year old.
Anonymous says
“The young child who is urinating frequently, drinking large quantities, losing weight, and becoming more and more tired and ill is the classic picture of a child with new-onset type 1 diabetes. If a child who is potty-trained and dry at night starts having accidents and wetting the bed again, diabetes might be the culprit.”
https://www.diabetes.org/diabetes/type-1/symptoms
anona says
I heard from a doctor that you can test at home using over-the-counter urine strips such as Ketostix ($10-15 for a small bottle). Press one test strip into a recently-used diaper for 20-30 seconds and then look the color up on the chart. If it indicates high ketones that could be a sign of diabetes.
Anonymous says
Hm…she could just be thirsty..and I don’t want to fear monger, but have you thought about Type 1 Diabetes? If you truly think it’s a lot I would push back with the pediatrician,
Anonymous says
Does she go to daycare? In my experience, this works itself out at daycare and then school becuase there just aren’t as many opportunities to drink. With meals, at snack time, and after outdoor play was the schedule at our old daycare. Sometimes a little more if it is a really hot summer day.
anon says
What is she drinking the water out of? My kids will drink a ton of water out of straw cups just because they love sucking on straws, but if I offer it in other kids of water bottles or open cups they’ll only drink enough to not be thirsty and then be done, because it’s not as fun.
If she’s actually thirsty enough that she’s drinking 3/4 gallon of water a day that seems concerning to me… would it be worth checking with another doctor? I know excessive thirst is a sign of diabetes–I’m not at all saying that’s true in your case, but if it were my kid I’d want to have confirmation there wasn’t something wrong driving the thirst.
Anonymous says
100 oz is a lot – did you tell the doctor that number? My toddler drinks and pees a LOT but I would say she is more like 30-40 oz per day (and she doesn’t drink milk so that’s her entire fluid intake). I wouldn’t worry about potty training – she’ll likely stay in diapers at night long after she’s day trained but that’s pretty normal.
OP says
she is home with a nanny. i’ve asked about diabetes but the since literally her only symptom is her love of water they’ve brushed it off. to be honest, i also drink a lot of water (probably 100+ ounces a day, but i’m in my 30s). she has also recently kind of stopped drinking milk/drinking a lot less. we have an appointment with the ped next month so i guess i will bring it up again
Anon says
If she is flooding her diaper / clothes, that would be another sign beyond excessive thirst.
Honestly, it was the first thing I thought of reading this because sub litter box for diaper and this is what happened with my cat. One day I went to clean the litter box and it was flooded. Litter was literally floating. I thought, OMG, I must have forgotten to clean it for a long time? I couldn’t think of any other explanation. So I ran to the store, got a new litter box and box of litter and threw out the old contraption. The next day, the litter was soaked again. I hadn’t noticed excessive thirst, just excessive urination.
Diapers are designed to hold the high end of urine output. If she is soaking through them, that is concerning. Obviously, all kids have diaper leaks at times but there is a difference between it didn’t fit her right and it couldn’t hold her output.
I hope it turns out to be nothing but definitely follow up!
Anon says
Also, don’t forget you posted here because you were concerned. Trust your instincts.
Anonymous says
Try having the nanny offer water in an open cup when seated only vs being allowed to wander around with a fun water bottle. And have the nanny record the number of wet diapers every day. Doctors love data and numbers. If she’s still drinking a lot of water, that would seem to point to a genuine very high thirst level. Sometimes kids drink more because they like using a particular fun water bottle but if the ‘fun’ factor is removed and still a very high level of water is being drunk, then that’s more food for conversation with the doctor.
Anonymous says
Drinking only water and not milk isn’t concerning to me (she can get calcium from other sources) it’s just the shear volume of 100 oz for a toddler that is really unusual.
Anonymous says
I think OP was just including that for context, because children who don’t drink milk do typically drink more water. Milk counts as a fluid and if you’re not drinking the typical 16-24 oz of milk you generally need to make up that fluid with other liquids like water. That said, most 2 year olds don’t drink anywhere near 100 oz even when you count both milk and water.
OP says
yes, that is why i included it. i happen to have some days off scheduled so i will be with her for the next five days and will pay close attention to her water intake and reach out to the doctor next week with ‘harder’ data
Anon says
thanks all. i’m going to be with her for the next 5 day (starting tomorrow) so I am going to try to pay strict attention to the actually quantity of water and number of diapers and will message the doctor with the info next week
Bright horizons says
Does anyone else use Bright Horizons daycare and, if so, have you dealt with their COVID illness policy?
My understanding from others at our center is that if your child has any potential covid symptom (fever, cough, etc.) they can’t come back for 14 days after the symptom has resolved — even if they test negative. They have a pre-printed letter that you can have your doctor sign to return sooner, which seemed okay to me until I found out that some doctors won’t sign it due to the language in the pre-printed letter – and the center won’t accept the doctor’s own note.
Have others run into this?
Anonymous says
Our BH center (downtown DC) has not been that strict, and told us they would accept a doctor note or a negative test. We haven’t had to test the policy yet so I’m not sure what kind of doctor note they will or won’t accept, but they didn’t give us a pre-printed letter.
Anon says
I don’t use BH but I’m on the board of a medical facility. At our last meeting, they discussed that they will not write notes that say a patient does not have COVID because tests can have false negatives. They will write that a patient has asthma and the symptoms are consistent with their usual cough or something like that. Everyone is trying to shift liability. I understand why but I also understand how that puts so many people between a rock and a hard place.
Anonymous says
Why not just say “Patient’s Covid test was negative” in the notes? That’s what the centers want, and it doesn’t rise to the level of the doctor assuring that the patient doesn’t have Covid. It’s just signing off on the facts.
Anon says
People are asking for a note that they can return to school or return to work. It seems the employers are looking for more than “test was negative.” My assistant actually had symptoms of COVID got tested, tested negative, was planning on returning to work and then got a letter in the mail that based on her symptoms, she should still quarantine for 14 days. She had a fever, aches and pains and a cough.
Anonymous says
That seems like a crazy policy. The CDC says “Available data indicate that persons with mild to moderate COVID-19 remain infectious no longer than 10 days after symptom onset.” Some EU countries are even less conservative and clear people to return after 7 days. I think a lot of people are confusing the incubation period of the virus (up to 14 days) with how long a person who gets the virus is infectious for. They’re totally different things.
Anonymous says
Yes, my kids are at Bright Horizons and we hit this last week. My kids actually didn’t get sick– I did– with what I was 95% sure was a nasty cold (I’m 9 months pregnant and illnesses always hit me hard), but because I had a mild headache and sore throat (no fever, shortness of breath, body aches, or other symptoms linked more closely to COVID), the kids couldn’t go in for three days. I held them out Thursday, got a telehealth visit Thursday night, COVID test Friday first thing, got my negative result Friday night. I submitted that, but was told I needed the form filled out– or the doctor could write basically the same thing in a note. And similar to the 9:33 poster mentioned, the doc I saw for my telehealth wrote something like “She has a negative COVID test, this illness is likely not from COVID” but didn’t entirely rule it out. Thankfully, my OB signed the form Monday and the kids went back in Tuesday, but I don’t know if the original note would have cut it, as BH requires a statement that the symptoms are from a diagnosed, non-COVID condition. I spent all weekend trying to not cuddle with my kids so they wouldn’t get sick and restart the whole cycle.
It’s going to be a long cold and flu season.
Anon. says
We use BH and have been through this. Similarly to poster above, it was my husband who got a nasty head cold which included a cough so our family was excluded. We had my husband get tested and then he took his negative test result to urgent care and the urgent care nurse was willing to sign the form for him. She also wrote a note that was kind of wishy washy that I didn’t submit, because my center only needed the form. All of this Extra complicated because he got tested by public health department which only provides test results by phone and then mails you a copy. It took 14 days from testing for us to receive the paper results (the call came 48 hrs after testing). Thankfully the nurse trusted my husband when he told her he’d been tested and got the negative.
All that said, the policy recently changed in two important regards: it’s now just a 10 day exclusion instead of 14 and the form the doctor signs is different. It used to require a diagnosis OTHER than COVID by the doctor. (So if you got a positive strep test, no negative COVID test needed etc). Now the form asks for EITHER a diagnosis of something else OR a negative COVID test. Can’t just bring the negative test in which is annoying, but I’m glad they’ve adjusted the policy.
Anonymous says
Ditto to what the others have said. The update that they just did to the policy is helpful, especially in DC where DC has decided that everything, including “just feeling unwell for any reason,” is a covid symptom.
We dealt with this last week where my non-daycare child got a runny nose (nothing else), but the doctor both refused to run a covid test and refused to sign the form. We talked to our center, who was willing to accommodate letting our daycare child come back, in light of the fact that the only symptom in the other kid was a non-core-covid symptom. It was a mess, and frustrating, and I’m hopeful that the policy changes will ease that in the future.
Anonymous says
Good morning everyone, I wiped nail polish remover all over my face thinking it was toner this morning. Blahghhhh!
Anonymous says
haha! we’ve all been there, or at least nearby. I hope you don’t have sensitive skin! I mistook cleanser for moisturizer the other day… mornings before coffee are not my shiningest hours.
FVNC says
My mother once brushed her teeth with Clearisil thinking it was a travel-size tube of toothpaste! Hope your day gets better!
Anon says
has anyone ever purchased anything from Piccolina kids. it looks a bit expensive, but they have all of these awesome trailblazer tees, math based, etc.
lily says
I purchased two t-shirts for my toddler a few months ago. I purposely bought them in a size that will hopefully fit next spring, so can’t speak to how they wear yet. But they’re cute and seem like good quality.
New Here says
Not yet, but I’m eyeing a shirt for my daughter…and one for me.
Hmmm says
I find it interesting no one posted yesterday on having taken a break from work – I wonder if more would chime in on the main site? Mainly because this site does skew a bit younger (at least among moms – not age but more age of kids)?
Anonymous says
I would think moms with young kids would be the #1 demographic for a career break? But I think a lot of people don’t really feel like it’s an option. I would have loved to be home for a few years, but it was just too scary to give up my income completely, not knowing if I’d be able to go back. I compromised by down shifting to a 9-5 job with a lot of flexibility so I have a lot of time with my family without completely giving up my income.
OP says
Anecdotally I think a lot of moms step back in early elementary after powering through the younger years, at least in my community. I’m already seeing that dealing with after school care and activities, especially for multiple kids, is way more complicated than just daycare… or I think some are on a break but not on the other side? Not sure, just found it interesting!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree, I think early elementary is when a lot of working parents would step back, especially in Covid times, because of the early release, lots of days off and summers off. Plus the kids are more fun IMO! We haven’t taken a step back since the kids were born (I left Biglaw before), but we may want to keep this WFH schedule, at least a few days a week split between us, going through the early elementary years.
Anon says
I went on a reduced Big Law schedule when I had my only, who is now in elementary school. It’s really the equivalent time wise of a ‘normal’ full time job and about 90% of the stress of Big Law. Even pre-COVID it was harder with elementary school than with daycare, and I don’t see going back to work “full time” (regularly more than 45 hrs/week) ever, unless I found something I was truly passionate about.
Pre-COVID I was thinking of downshifting out of private practice when she hit middle school, as I would be around 50, but wasn’t sure what that would look like. With COVID, I’m looking at going in house, not so much to reduce work load, but to even the work flow and stress out — the unpredictability of my current job is what’s truly awful.
If I could take off time without worrying about getting back into the game, I would take off 6 months to a year. I’m tired in a way that a week long vacation won’t fix, COVID compounded regular burnout, but I’m too concerned about not getting back into my career.
Anonymous says
FWIW – i went from investment banking to “inhouse” business development / finance. the job isn’t that much less stressful, and still has busy times for transaction, but the fact that it is about 10000% more predictable is a godsend. I made this change before kids. Would highly recommend looking at in house.
Eek says
I’ve noticed that the later threads in the day on this site don’t get many responses. I just assumed it was that, but I’d love to hear if anyone has taken a break.
Anonymous says
I didn’t read the post yesterday but I have 3 kids. When I was 5 months pregnant with #2, I was laid off with a 9 months severance package. I took it, had my baby, and used some of the time to build up a consulting practice with a former colleague. That was 5 years ago.
I had been making $170k (140 base, 30k bonus) working 60 hours/week and doing a lot of travel. I now work 20 hours/week on average (Some weeks none, some weeks 30-40) largely on my own schedule and have grossed 90-110k/year for four years in a row.
I don’t have benefits and I pay a lot more in taxes, but the flexibility has been critical for our family. When COVID hit, I wrapped up my projects and didn’t take on any new ones. This summer, we got a college sitter and I did a giant project and am more or less still on track for the year.
My business partner and I generally have 60 hours/week of work between the two of us. She does more than I do- she’s the primary income and her kids are in high school.
This isn’t quite “taking a break” but it’s “working a whole lot less and not planning to go back.” A recruiter called me about a full time senior exec job and I was a hard NOPE. I’m not ready to throw myself into work like that.
AnotherAnon says
I think it’s common for the second post of the day to go without comments. I have never taken leave, so I didn’t have anything to add. TBH I found that post a bit condescending. I know how to network and job hunt.
Anon says
I missed that yesterday but I suppose you could say I’m in a career break. I stopped working five years ago when my oldest was born and am now pregnant with #3, so it will be an extended break…
I always wanted to be a SAHM for a period so it wasn’t a hard decision for me, and my husband and I lived on one (smallish) salary and banked the other for years so we’d have a cushion. I also liked my job fine but didn’t love it and knew it wasn’t a line of work I wanted to be in forever (PR). So that also made the decision easier. When I do go back someday it will for sure be in a different field.
I’m enjoying my “break” right now. I am a people-pleaser with anxiety and working was very stressful for me; I don’t think I’d be able to juggle work and home very well. I am also a big believer in “seasons” of life and maybe you (I) can’t do everything at once. This next 5-10 years is my season of babies and little kids, and then we’ll see.
Re: money, we do save a decent amount but certainly don’t max out anything. It doesn’t stress me out, though; we will make it work and we don’t intend to pay everything for our kidS (from experience we think that leads to a better work ethic and appreciation…). I don’t want to revolve my life around money because we’d probably never feel we had enough anyway. We have plenty to be comfortable for now
Anon says
I did do some freelance PR toward the beginning…but I realized I hate working for clients and didn’t need the extra stress so stopped. I know re-entry will be tough, but I’m exploring different interests in the meantime and take heart in the variety of creative ways women have started new ventures or gotten themselves back to work in some capacity…even if it’s starting with the PTA, ha
Anonymous says
When my daughter was about 8 months I went to 1500 hours instead of 1800. This year I’ll hit 1600, but that was my choice. We had somone leave in my department, and we decided as a group that we weren’t going to replace her. I’m likely going to aim for 1600-1650 going forward, as this feels doable and in line with my compensation objectives. But that didn’t feel like it fit as extreme of a “break” as the post yesterday implied.
Anon says
I took an extra 3 months off after maternity leave, but I’m not sure that really counts as taking a break. But if you’re going to do it, it’s a natural time to add in a break and a lot of employers won’t have the guts to tell you no.
Mat Leave says
I had a 5 month maternity leave and a difficult baby. None if that “leave” was a break.
Anon says
I took it as a break from work, not a break in terms of a fantastic and relaxing vacation.
4 year old Birthday gift ideas says
Just want to say how helpful you ladies are! Been such a great sounding board for some many things thank you!
Our son is turning 4 in 1 month he is the youngest cousin on both sides so has lots of hand me down clothes and toys. Any ideas for birthday gifts – our families are asking. He really doesn’t need more toys and clothes. We currently receive the Kiwi Koala box and we love it. Any ideas? Thank you in advance!!!
Anonymous says
Art supplies – paints, crayon maker, modelling clay – all the art consumables.
anon says
Second this. My kid would also adore a brand-new giant coloring book.
Boston Legal Eagle says
More of what he already has – Magnatiles, trains, puzzles, etc. Does he have a bike yet? And bike accessories (helmet, kneepads, bell).
anon says
My 4 yo loves board games. Sequence for Kids is her favorite. Guess Who is also popular.
Spirograph says
Kid magazine subscription. Highlights/High-5, Zoobooks, NatGeo Kids, etc. Or another subscription box – Kiwico has a bunch of them, if you already know you like that brand. We’ve also enjoyed Little Passports
anon. says
I was going to suggest this! My 4 YO loves Click!
Katarina says
Art supplies/kits are great for this age, and consumable. A big boy bike and/or a scooter. I don’t know if it is too close to toys, but puzzles, board games, dress up clothes/accessories, and legos (the ages 4+ kids and/or the free-form ones). I feel like you can always use more books. Bath bombs.
Anne says
Costumes? My four year old loves dress up.
Tea/Coffee says
Do some of the gifters live close enough (and all the covid stuff) that some kind of experience gift would be possible?
For wxample, my FIL takes each grandkid out for their birthday. Dinner – somewhere like California Pizza Kitchen, not fancy, and shopping for a small present. One year my daughter came home with a paperback book. They are always excited to spend 1:1 time with FIL and without mom and dad, it’s a special thing. But YMMV this year, especially.
Otherwise, art supplies, books, maybe some kind of fancy food delivery if birthday boy likes something in particular (like popcorn or chocolate covered strawberries or something)?
Magazine subscription?
I started asking people for a super small gift (see: book) and a donation to the 529 instead. I think only one set of grandparents took me up on it, one time but ymmv
anon says
We recently got my 4 yo a vtech kids camera and that was a big hit.
AwayEmily says
Technically a toy but does he have a dollhouse? I was a dollhouse skeptic but our 4yo and 2.5yo play with it often.
They have some cooking clubs for kids that look pretty cool (like, Blue Apron for kids sort of).
LittleBigLaw says
My go to gift for this age is the Stomp Rocket. So, so fun!
shortperson says
my kids’ fave presents from their recent 3 & 6 birthdays were sensory kits from “young wild & friedman.” they are really fun.
Anon says
Any recommendations for a not-hideous, easy to clean toddler table/chairs? We’ve been using the SkipHop activity center that converts into a table with an Ikea chair for my toddler, but now we want to turn it back into an activity center for the baby. I’d also like something that’s less of an eyesore, since it’s in our family room. I’m willing to pay $200-$300 for the right pieces. Thank you!
anon says
We’re happy with our IKEA kids table (FLISAT, but LATT gets good reviews too). On the other hand, kids tables are super hard to find in stock at the moment, due to all the remote schooling.
Anon says
Yes, we have both the Ikea Flisat and the Ikea Latt and both have held up to many years of abuse. We’re actually still using them as tables for virtual schooling for the kids (ages 5 and 7) and they’re still in great shape. The Flisat is smaller and less of an eyesore (and easier to paint if you want to match your color scheme), the Latt is more playroom worthy but easier to wipe since it’s all plastic.
Anon says
We have the Latt in our family room and do not find it to be an eyesore (and certainly less than the buckets of kids toys everywhere, but maybe your family room is less of a playroom than ours). I have been very pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to clean. My 3YO is 43 pounds and 41 inches tall and it fits her fine, but it feels like she is ready to outgrow it soon judging by how she looks when she is sitting at it.
Anon says
I think Crate & Kids has nice looking options.
AnonATL says
There are several options on sale on wayfair today as part of their Way Day sale.
AnonATL says
We have an ubbi for our baby, which I love but I have noticed it collects a lot of condensation inside the lid. I’m worried about rust and possibly mold.
Is there anything I can do about it? Other than leave the lid cracked to vent humidity out but that defeats the purpose of containing odors. I leave it open for a few hours when we change the bag, but that happens maybe once a week.
Anon says
Fwiw mine has been continuously in use for 4.5 years at this point. It has a little rust on the lip of the part that slides in and out, but, no mold. And, I’m going to stop using it (hopefully) in 3-6 months when I potty train my youngest, so the rust doesn’t bother me. I have heard that people have complained about rust to Ubbi and gotten a replacement can, FWIW.
AwayEmily says
We used ours for 4.5 years straight and it got a little rusty but never moldy.
Anon says
Can you tape some silica packets to the lid?
AnonATL says
I do have one of those damp rid hangers meant for a closet lying around. I could put it in there and see if it helps.
The fact that our house is so humid because it’s reasonably cool and rainy down here is not making the situation any better I’m sure.
Anon says
wipe out the condensation and don’t use any liquid to clean it. i contacted ubbi and got a replacement for free. i just had to pay for shipping