Eileen Fisher is one of the great brands that is usually not only machine washable, but also one of the few makers of workwear made in the USA. Neiman Marcus seems to have several pieces from the brand on sale; this 3/4 sleeve jersey dress is simple, classic, and a great basic. It was $178, but is marked to $99 today (including extra discounts). It looks like it’s available full-price in plus sizes, as well as in limited sizes, full price, in petite sizes. Eileen Fisher 3/4-Sleeve Jersey Dress
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price tops and sweaters; up to 40% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; up to 50% off clearance; extra 15% off orders $100+; extra 20% off orders $125+
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase
- Zappos – 24,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – 100s of new markdowns; up to 30% off Easter
- Carter’s – Swim 50% off; up to 50% off sandals; up to 50% off spring break deals
- buybuyBaby – Major clearance markdowns
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
K. says
Advice needed on how to help an 18 month old take longer naps. My little 18 month old usually only takes one 30-40 minute nap per day. She sleeps around 10-11 hours a night and wakes up to nurse at night 2-3 times, but goes right back to sleep–often sleeping about 3-5 hours at a time without waking, so it’s not like she can’t sleep longer than 30 minutes. She doesn’t act overtired, but she’s a pretty easy-going kid in general. She will, however, sleep for 1-2 hours if we are driving in the car in the afternoon and occasionally, she will go back to sleep after the half hour, so I’m not sure what she needs. She nurses to sleep with me most of the time, but falls asleep in about 5 minutes on her own during the week while she is watched by the childcare giver. Anyone else had an issue like this or possible solutions?
Maddie Ross says
No solution, but sympathy, because my LO was/is the same. She’s 2.5 now and occasionally now we’ll get an hour or so, but only if we’ve really tired her out (bouncehouses are great for this). I’m not sure there’s a solution – I think it’s just personality. My ped said that as long as she slept well at night and was getting 11-12 total hours of sleep, it’s not unusual or problematic.
Anonymous says
Where is she napping? Daycare? Home with a caregiver? In a crib or on a cot? How does she do on weekends? Advise may depend on current setup.
Meg Murry says
+1 to this. What is her current setup? Do you need blackout curtains or white noise?
Alternately, is someone jumping to get her as soon as she starts to make a peep at the 30 minute point? If you left her in her crib for 5-15 more minutes would she fall back asleep again?
Is the childcare giver doing something that might wake her, like starting up a loud dishwasher or washing machine or TV close to her room once she is down for her nap?
What is she doing in the mornings? Does she need to do something to be more worn out like some very active physical play, or a later naptime if that is possible?
Why do you want longer naps? Is she acting overtired in the afternoons? If she seems well rested overall, that might just be how much sleep she needs.
Anonymous says
+ 1 to blackout curtains – my kids have never napped well without them. This could explain the difference between poor day sleep and good night sleep.
JTX says
Try posting your question to the Babycenter “Teaching your baby and toddler to sleep” board.
Anon says
If she is still waking up 2-3 times per night to nurse, she’s likely using that as a crutch instead of self-soothing. You may need to consider sleep training at night. Talk to your pediatrician.
Anonymous says
If you are not against the idea of some sleep training, join the Facebook group “expect to sleep again- sleep training support.” They are great with providing tips about things like scheduling that can help
JEB says
Mom Guilt: my husband and I were at home with our 14-month-old for 5 days with the snow. She wasn’t terribly fond of the snow, and she came down with a cold on day one, so there wasn’t much playing outside. It was absolutely exhausting trying to keep her entertained, and I felt a bit of dread at the thought of staying home yet another day. I was so grateful that the Feds re-opened today and that I could drop her off at daycare!
Now I’m seeing tons of posts from fellow parents about how much they loved being home with their kids during the snow, how special the family time was, and how hard it was to bring their kids back to daycare. I’m feeling so much guilt, like I’m a terrible parent for finding the experience exhausting. Sure, we had many fun, happy moments. And of course I love my daughter more than I could adequately express. But I just don’t think I’m cut out for the constant interaction, 5 days in a row. Ugh, mom guilt :(
Sarabeth says
Suggestion to reframe this: you are so lucky that you get to have the work-life setup that best suits your family! Working and sending your kid to daycare allows you to be the best parent you can be, and this weekend demonstrated that you are making the right choice in how you organize your life.
PS – I feel exactly the same. I lose it when I’m home with my kid for more than three days, max. Plus, when we go around on Sunday night and say what we are looking forward to the next week, my daughter always says “Going to daycare and seeing my friends.”
JEB says
Very smart on the re-framing! I’ll remember this and employ it often. The baby really loves daycare, and I love my job, so we’re definitely making the right choices :)
Same here... says
I felt the same way with my 16 month old — she wasn’t a fan of the snow, and was whiny, didn’t nap as much, and not her usual happy self — it could have been because she had a slight cold (which I have now).
I SUCKED at keeping her entertained. I had a few cool new toys and activities, none of which really took off. She did end up watching more TV than I would have liked.
She was thrilled to go back to daycare today, like skipping down the halls thrilled.
My husband stayed home with her yesterday, as I had to work, and it sounded like she had a much better time with him – she napped a lot and played on her own. Although I’m glad she had a good day, it was kind of a punch to the gut.
Anonymous says
I hear you on how hard it is to keep them entertained when they are so active (even when sick!). I was home with my 13-MO because of his umpteenth ear infection / fever for 3 days last week, so I feel your pain.
It goes without saying (you really did not have to say it! we know!) that you love your daughter and appreciated those fun moments. But when you are housebound with an older baby, the constant vigilance and search for entertainment is just objectively exhausting. And harder if the sickness causes more fussiness than usual. And also boring. It’s different if you can be out having adventures or just getting fresh air. And that’s what it sounds like you are responding to. No reason to feel guilty about that!
Plus, maybe I’m justifying, but I would feel pretty guilty if my son was stuck home with me full-time. I just cannot imagine coming up with enough creative, active stuff for him to do. Maybe that’s a failure of imagination on my part, but I am so grateful for the activities he gets to do at day care. (I am NOT GRATEFUL for the germ exchange, however. Seriously, it is a new cold / ear infection every week or two!). I would have given anything to be home with him up to 8/9 months or even a year, but at this stage of his development, I feel like only *constant* stimulation will do. We have so much fun on weekends but we do run out of ideas and are already doing the max of “classes” I will allow—ONE.
Anonymous says
You were cooped up with a sick kid, not out having snow adventures with a chipper well rested kid.
I have a blast with my kid when her spirits are high and we get out in the world- zoo, park, playground, outside, beach, etc. but spending 3 days wiping her nose, trying to wrestle food into her and watching Frozen 11 times? No thanks!!
pockets says
Those parents are engaging in “my perfect life on Facebook.” Everyone does it, some more than others. The people who were ready to kill their spouse/kids after being cooped up for 3 days aren’t posting about it, and the ones who are telling the world how #blessed they are did not have these magical weekends that they want you to think they had. Roll eyes, be thankful you don’t need the affirmation that these other people do, and move on.
Related, I read an funny article on how modern parents act during snowstorms and one typical act was, Take a picture of your kids in front of a snowman that actually you made because the snowman has to look just so. And the very next post on Facebook was a mom-acquaintance with her 2 yo in front of a snowman that the 2 yo clearly didn’t have any part in building.
MDMom says
Yep this! Though I actually saw several posts on my Facebook feed yesterday about how much people wanted to go back to work/daycare. Is it possible you’re just focusing on the posts that make you feel bad? Or specific people that make you feel bad? Either way, you’re not alone. Toddlers are exhausting. And it’s nice to have a job you’re happy to return to. I had a great time at home with my 8 month old overall, but I was happy to come to work today!
Meg Murry says
Yup. Either that or they are the kind of people that actually hate their jobs and wish they could be a SAHP. That doesn’t make you a bad parent, it just makes you lucky that you have a job you like and daycare you are happy with.
Plus some ages are much more fun to be home with when you can actually DO something, especially once they are old enough to play by themselves for an hour or two. Mildly sick 14 month old – too sick to play outside but with enough energy to want constant entertainment or needs to be constantly watched to keep them from killing themselves? Ugh, no one wants to be home with that!
Anon says
Wow..so every one who enjoyed staying at home with their kids hated their jobs or the ones who want to be stay at home parents? So there cannot be people who like to be with their children and enjoyed the opportunity to do so cannot have jobs they like? I understand OP is feeling guilty and you are trying to be supportive and make her feel good. But this is a bit too much.
pockets says
No, but the people who had to post about their magical snow weekend on social media…you kind of wonder what kind of validation they’re looking for and why they’re looking for it.
Anonymous says
Regarding the constant vigilance for kids, this quote from The Change Up cracked me up
“Having children, it’s…it’s like, it’s living with little mini-heroin addicts. You know, they’re laughing one minute and then they’re crying the next. And then they trying to kill themselves in the bathroom for no good reason. They’re very mean and selfish and burn through your money. And they break sh!*”
pockets says
I also want to add that I’ve been home with my kid while unemployed for the past few months, and part of every Sunday night is spent worrying about how I’m going to entertain my kid for the next five days.
MomAnon4This says
We should totally switch facebook feeds because I’ve moved from DC about 3 years, almost 4 now and I’m seeing a ton of posts from parents so glad school is open! You’re in good company.
EB0220 says
HAH, those parents are LYING or have kids who can wipe their own butts. We actually had a fun 3 day snow weekend, but it felt more like a week.
JEB says
Thanks ladies :) Had someone else written my post, I would have sent the same responses. Sometimes it’s hard to show yourself the same kindness. Glad to hear that I’m not the only one who was glad to pass my kid off this morning!
Spirograph says
I haven’t read the other responses yet, but don’t feel bad! I practically skipped out of my daycare after dropping my kids off this morning, and I really did yell “FREEDOM!!!!” Braveheart style in my car as I drove away. I love them, but omg I am glad to be at work right now. Kids are 1 and almost 3. If they were old enough for me to tell them to put on their snowpants and come back when it’s time for lunch, I’d probably feel differently.
Onlyworkingmomintulsa says
Thank you for posting this and also all of the replies. I felt exactly the same during the week between Christmas and New Year’s when daycare was closed and my husband and I took off from work. I’m SO happy that I am not the only one who feels this way….despite what Facebook presents.
AEK says
I hear you on how hard it is to keep them entertained when they are so active (even when sick!). I was home with my 13-MO because of his umpteenth ear infection / fever for 3 days last week, so I feel your pain.
It goes without saying (you really did not have to say it! we know!) that you love your daughter and appreciated those fun moments. But when you are housebound with an older baby, the constant vigilance and search for entertainment is just objectively exhausting. And harder if the sickness causes more fussiness than usual. And also boring. It’s different if you can be out having adventures or just getting fresh air. And that’s what it sounds like you are responding to. No reason to feel guilty about that!
Plus, maybe I’m justifying, but I would feel pretty guilty if my son was stuck home with me full-time. I just cannot imagine coming up with enough creative, active stuff for him to do. Maybe that’s a failure of imagination on my part, but I am so grateful for the activities he gets to do at day care. (I am NOT GRATEFUL for the germ exchange, however. Seriously, it is a new cold / ear infection every week or two!). I would have given anything to be home with him up to 8/9 months or even a year, but at this stage of his development, I feel like only *constant* stimulation will do. We have so much fun on weekends but we do run out of ideas and are already doing the max of “classes” I will allow—ONE.
AEK says
double post, sorry! it was me.
Bottle refusal says
I’ve got a bottle refuser at daycare. She does ok with bottles at home with dad or babysitter but won’t take them from me. Today is day 3 of daycare and she’s refusing to eat. Sent different types of bottles etc. I’ve been picking her up early afternoon and she’s been nursing all afternoon evening and sleeping ok. She’s 6 months old – I’ve been home with her this whole time.
I know I have to give it time. But I’m going back to work Monday and have no flexibility in my return date or schedule once I do, and a heavy workload waiting for me. I’m on the verge of a breakdown about all of it.
I had wanted to do two trial weeks of daycare before returning but my husband talked me out of it.
MDMom says
Have they tried different temps? Mine started at 4.5 months and rarely took bottles at home. Daycare experimented a little with frequency and temp. Found he needed botitles to be hot (not warm, hot! they told me). So it may just be a matter of experimenting. Also, can you try a whole day? Might just take her being hungry enough not to hold out for you. Hang in there. I know it’s stressful but it will be ok.
Meg Murry says
+1 to different temps, different positions, etc
Are you using frozen milk at daycare or fresh pumped? Is this the first time you’ve used frozen?
Can dad go in one morning and show them how he gives her a bottle? Maybe there is some kind of “trick” to it that he does. Or maybe she refuses for him for the first few minutes but he persists where daycare just gave up. How long since she took a bottle from dad or grandma?
Otherwise, it’s a PITA, but I have friends that had to go to small open cups when their kids were complete bottle refusers.
POSITA says
After weeks of tears we also found that my 4 month old would only take a bottle if it was hot.
Could dad come to daycare and help a provider give her a bottle? My baby also seemed to want my permission that this strange person was allowed to feed her. I started a bottle and then we transitioned to the provider about halfway through the feed. That helped a lot.
HSAL says
Absolutely no experience in this, but is she old enough to try a sippy cup? Alternatively, have they tried giving her bottles in her sleep?
Anonymous says
Try non-bottles. My EBF daughter wouldn’t drink from a bottle but she would drink from a straw sippy. Apparently EBF babies like straw sippies better than the hard spout ones.
Anonymous says
Adding that you can also try a slow flow nipple with Playtex Drop ins – my daughter wouldn’t take it but this combination worked for many friends with EBF babies.
Anonymous says
Not to be a jerk but at 6 months your baby can consume solids. My friends who had this problem started solids at 6 months. That way baby eats something even if baby won’t drink milk. You can try yogurt or baby cereal.
I definitely know people who try all the bottles and all the cup options and I feel really sorry for you right now because even though I haven’t been through this situation I know my friends were so sad and stressed.
pockets says
Yes, of your baby won’t do milk, try giving whole fat yogurt or cheese as a replacement. You could also mix breastmilk with pureed vegetables or fruit. Not ideal but better than tearing your hair out with frustration and buying all the bottles and nipples.
Anonymous says
All 3 of mine refused bottles at varying degrees, and I tried all of the above (also searched the internet high and low for what to do). One of mine would take the bottle when mixed with strained fruit puree (like apple or pear); he would then eat the solid portion by spoon. With my first baby, I was super stressed about it; by the third I was expecting it and just dealt with it. What I ended up doing was a combo of the above, feeding fruit purees mixed with milk, starting the straw cup early (takes time for them to learn but they can learn must earlier than the “recommended use” age), yogurt, and baby oatmeal mixed with milk. It’s stressful, but the baby will be fine. My pediatrician said so. Feel free to try all different bottles, but if it doesn’t work, don’t feel too badly about it. They’ll get what they need. A plus is you don’t have to worry about bottle weaning, at all later!
OP says
Thanks for the support ladies! We finally had a bit of success late in the day so I’m just going to give it more time. Fingers crossed!
farrley says
I’m interested in anyone’s experience with having another child after suffering from post-partum depression. My PPD was very severe, and I’ve been on Zoloft ever since. I’m doing great one year out from my son’s birth, and in addition to the meds have been running (which I really enjoy and missed during pregnancy and early momhood), going to support groups, seeing a counselor, etc. to stay well.
I am considering going off the meds to have another child. I of course am working with my doctor on this, and would come off slowly and go back on if necessary. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t rock the boat when I’m in a good place with the family I have now. Another part of me feels like I would love to have another baby, and that I’m better prepared to face the challenges of PPD based on what I’ve been through.
I’d love to hear whether anyone had a similar experience and was able to go off meds, or chose to stay on meds and have a child, or perhaps decided not to try for another after a bad PPD experience.
Anon4Dis says
Jane Marie just wrote about this in Cosmo — I bet if you google her name and “going off your depression meds for pregnancy” you’ll get the article. It’s not 100% positive by any measure, but honest. As someone who was in a similar boat to her postpartum, I found it a great read.
Anon4Dis says
I should clarify, it’s about her first (only) child, but about going off medications for pregnancy and then dealing with PPD and such afterward.
Anonymous says
See response below – Anon at 1:41
NewMomAnon says
Argh…my OB psychiatrist pointed me to a really good site that actually showed the various studies for different medications during pregnancy, so I could look at the studies themselves and understand the risk assessments. I wish I could find the site for you, but will keep looking. It was similar to LactMed but was specific to pregnancy, not nursing.
I developed crippling, devastating anxiety during pregnancy, so had to make the decision during pregnancy to start psych meds. My memory from those pregnancy psych consultations:
1. The research is starting to show that a higher percentage of “PPD” actually develops during pregnancy than was previously understood
2. The risk to baby of untreated psych issues during pregnancy is real; you are not comparing a “normal” pregnancy to a “medicated” pregnancy, you are comparing a “depressed” or “anxious” pregnancy to a “medicated” pregnancy. Depressed or anxious pregnancy is associated with worse maternal nutrition, lower birth weight, increased risk of premature birth, and some other stuff that I’m forgetting.
3. Psych meds pose some risks to baby above the “normal” baseline, but you have to compare those risks to the “depressed” or “anxious” baseline instead
I ended up on Zoloft after reading the studies; the studies at that time showed an elevated risk of a heart condition (which was still a tiny risk, even though elevated) and a risk of having a newborn who suffered some withdrawal issues after birth (a lot of babies exhibited this, but it just meant they cried more and slept less for a few days after birth).
Anonymous says
+100000 to #2 (and #3, which goes along with it). Just like they teach in law school: the “reasonable” person doesn’t actually exist. Real life has lots and lots of differences, person-to-person, and you might have differences kid-to-kid. Take REALLY good care of yourself. Big hugs!
Meg Murry says
Was it the infant risk center at Texas Tech? Infantrisk dot com
farrley says
Thanks! My doctor and I talked today about baseline comparisons, and also about issues with the recent study re meds and autism that had stirred a lot of my fear about having a baby while taking Zoloft. I’ve got some follow-up reading to do.:)
PPD blows says
The woman in this article whose first pregnancy was unmedicated and then continued meds through her second pregnancy resonated with me: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/31/magazine/the-secret-sadness-of-pregnancy-with-depression.html?action=click&contentCollection=Health&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article
Me Too says
This is such an individual thing. I struggled with depression off and on for several years, was on and off therapy and meds. I had some scares with complications during my pregnancy that caused things to flair up, and my OB recommended a therapist who specializes in working with PPD and new parents. She was amazing. It was so helpful to work through the emotions of becoming a new parent with someone was attuned to this area. I did therapy until the baby was about 6 months, and then started meds again. I weaned off the meds about 6-9 months later. Overall I would say I had moderate symptoms.
Fast forward to baby 2, born three years after baby 1. I was in a much better place personally and professionally (job change). I had a really good sense of what my triggers and symptoms were. While I struggles with emotional control at times during pregnancy and nursing, I didn’t have PPD issues like before. Going from kidless to parent rocked my world, while having a second was easier. I knew what to expect and knew I couldn’t be supermom. Pregnancy 2 was also less complicated medically. I didn’t use medication or therapy at all during this time, and still feel like things are going well. (Baby 2 is now 2 years)
Long story short: your experiences with kid 1 do not dictate how you will react to kid 2. Think about what your triggers were, and if they might be different. That said, by all means keep your OB, therapist, spouse, and support network in the loop on how you are doing and seek treatment you need.
Anonymous says
Not direct personal experience but I had a close friend. She chose to have a second pregnancy but she safety planned the heck out of it. Basically she went into it with the view that it likely would happen again but she needed to make sure she got help before it got bad. There is an ocean between mild PPD treated early and severe PPD treated late. She stayed on meds during the pregnancy, got lots of outdoor time via regular walks, did prenatal yoga. Had a birth doula.
Therapy – pre-scheduled appointments prior to baby’s birth. Went alone and with DH so he would have a ‘safe space’ to raise PPD concerns if he felt that she wasn’t seeing it happening.
Spacing – waited until her older child was 3 before getting pregnant again – more self sufficient older child eased parenting load. Older child went to full time daycare/preschool.
Support – friends scheduled for regular visits – I went every Tuesday for the first two months and biweekly thereafter. We always went for a walk so she got outside – I was preinstructed not to take no for an answer. (insert activity that helps with your PPD); hired a postpartum doula for days that friends were not visiting.
Family – visits with supportive family members occurred regularly, DH stood up to in laws to set boundaries that she needed
HTH
Anonymous says
This was a response to Farrley
Lurker says
I’d love to hear more about safety planning for this. I do not yet have any kids but I am TTC. My Aunt (dad’s sister) suffered from post partum psychosis (yes, psychosis, not depression) and was hospitalized for quite some time after each of her three children were born. No one else in the family has yet suffered from it but I know that it can be hereditary so it really makes me nervous. My mom also went through a bit of a mental health crisis with menopause so I feel like there are wonky hormones on both sides of my blood line.
I’m afraid that I can plan all I want now to accept treatment but if the worst happened, I wouldn’t be in my right mind anymore. I’ve actually considered some kind of planning where I give my husband a medical power of attorney where he could force me into treatment if necessary without going to court. I trust that he would not abuse this power. I don’t know if such a thing is even possible or if you always have to be found to be incapacitated before someone else can assume power.
PPD blows says
I would talk to your OB about your concerns as a first step. Re: your second question, I would seek out an estate planning attorney in your area for a consultation about what may be possible. And… not sure if you spend a lot of time thinking about these what-if scenarios, but if you do, or you find the thoughts consuming, etc., your OB can likely refer you to a therapist who specializes in treating women and pregnancy/pre+postpartum concerns to see NOW to help you create your game plan.
Lurker says
I actually don’t worry about it much. I just thought of it because of the posted question and the one on estate planning. The more I think about it, I kind of like the idea of giving the power to a close friend instead of my husband. Then 2 people basically have to think it is necessary. Him to call in the close friend and the close friend to actually take the action. Things to worry about if I actually get pregnant!
Meg Murry says
I think establishing a relationship with a therapist now (or once pregnant) would be a good option, especially one in a practice that also has a psychiatrist on staff. That way you could discuss any anxiety you have about PPD, and if an issue arises you’ll be an existing patient, your husband won’t have to scramble to find someone who will take you and your insurance.
My sister and I both have a history of depression and anxiety, and I had PPD (or just a really bad flare up of my anxiety postpartum). My sister was doing ok initially postpartum but was a little edgy so at my insistence she made an appointment with her regular therapist for 4-8 weeks postpartum. My logic was that:
1) PPD lies, and its too easy to put off seeing a therapist, but if it was on her calendar and her husband knew about the appointment she would go
2) Because PPD lies, it’s too easy to put off making an appointment, and hard once you are trying to make the appointment to insist that no, you can’t wait a month or two for the next available appointment, you really need to see someone now. Or easy to talk yourself out of taking that next available appointment, because it will be at 2 pm and you’ll talk yourself out of getting a babysitter or missing work that day.
3) She was going back to work fairly quickly because she didn’t have much leave, and if she needed to go back to prescription meds she wasn’t going to take the time to take a day off once she was back to work (b/c see again, PPD lies, it’s too easy to say “it’s not that bad” until it is that bad).
lsw says
At my first prenatal appointment, the doctor asked if I had a history of depression (among other questions). When I said yes, she recommended I restart a relationship with a therapist now. She told me that people with a history of a major depressive episode or general depression are much more likely to have post partum or pre partum depression, and it’s best to get into the habit of therapy now as a preventative measure. At first, my reaction was, “That seems like overkill,” but about two weeks later I thought, “This is a really good idea.” I had a very difficult first trimester, and having someone talk about the tough and conflicting feelings I had about being pregnant (and the concomitant guilt) was REALLY helpful. I’m 15 weeks now, but still feeling like it’s a really valuable resource to be building this relationship now – and to talk about difficult things before they become big issues. (I had been to talk therapy before but could not go back to a former therapist for different reasons; so I was starting from scratch with a new one.)
AnonForthis says
I had some crazy post-partum anxiety issues. Really bad, but in the midst of it didn’t recognize it in myself. I have since asked my mom and husband why they didn’t mention anything and they both thought they did. If you are concerned this might be an issue talk to your people and tell them to be blunt as hell. As in sit next to you and say we are going to call your doctor now to get you an appointment because I’m extremely worried about you. I thin my loved ones just said “are you ok” which didn’t help.
farrley says
Thanks for this! It’s helpful:)
Storm Question says
Mundane question – but thought I’d ask. My husband is out of town and I have two little ones. A very kind middle aged neighbor and his young son helped shovel me out of the blizzard. I asked about payment and he said: $20 if you are UNhappy with the work.” Implying I can pay what I think is fair for the work if I’m happy. They worked a total of 1.5 hrs. What would you pay? $40? It was kind of him to do, he didn’t quite get to the area I needed cleared (argh – communicating electronically is tough) but it was still a big help.
Anonymous says
I would interpret that as saying you don’t owe him anything.
If you want to do something: baked goods.
Anonymous says
That was my takeaway too.
Storm Question says
I was hoping that would be the answer, but he also said that I “can drop it [the money] off when it’s convenient, and to ask for [son’s name here], as it would make him happy” when I drop it off. The whole thing was a little unusual – I had sent the request to the neighborhood listserve looking for high school kids interested in the job (a bunch had emailed the whole listserve saying they were interested in shoveling jobs). I didn’t realize until he started the work that it wasn’t a high schooler that responded (we are communicating via text). I’ve never met him in person.
Anonymous says
This seems very weird. I would pay him $40 to reflect work done by two people for over an hour and hopefully you won’t hear from him again.
Lurker says
I read it as the minimum price is $20 and that he expects you to pay his son what you think it is worth.
Anonymous says
That’s a really odd way for him to phrase it, but I didn’t realize you’d sought it out. Yeah, just do $40 and avoid him.
Anonymous says
Not knowing the details at all- but assuming you got more than a foot and potentially 2 feet…and you had a full driveway and some walks done, I would pay a kid $40-80 based on the amount of snow and how much shoveling they actually did. Especially if it was timely.
I pay my plow/snow removal company $55 for <2"; for a blizzard/over a foot it would be well over $100 (up to $150). That includes driveways and walkways, and we have a lot of both ;)
We had kids come door to door last year asking $10/hr or $40/driveway (different driveway, much smaller- that one was $40 to plow!)
Anonymous says
A while ago I posted a question about lunch for my baby who isn’t chewing all that well.
Thank you for the awesome suggestions! Beybel cheese worked soooo well. That was genius.
AEK says
Hurray!
Andi says
This dress is no longer available – do you have a comparable suggestion?