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I recently came across this type of candle, and I am definitely going to purchase one to up the coziness factor this winter. These WoodWick candles have a special wick that, when burned, crackles and sounds like a fireplace. This scent is even called “fireside.” For those of us who don’t have a wood burning fireplace, or do and don’t want the hassle of actually using it, this candle can at least mimic it a little bit. I also like this as a more unique spin on a regular candle gift, as I had never heard of it before. This candle is $29.50 at YankeeCandle.com. Fireside CandleSales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AwayEmily says
Favorite secular Christmas books? I want to start building a little collection — when I was a kid we had “special” Christmas books that we would only take out in December and it was such a great tradition. So far we have the Polar Express and Christmas in Noisy Village.
avocado says
Santa Mouse, The Night Before Christmas, and The Gift of the Magi illustrated by PJ Lynch.
avocado says
… but do read the reviews or preview before purchasing Santa Mouse. It was written in the sixties, and contemporary readers may object to the page where the mouse and his imaginary friends are playing make-believe and pretending to be “Eskimos or Spanish.” The material is incidental to the story and easily explainable as outmoded, and the book’s overall message is sweet and kind, but some parents may prefer to avoid it.
Cb says
Bear stays up. I like some of the winter books as well, the littlest tree, snow.
Buble says
I have a treasury of 5-Minute Disney Christmas Stories and 5-Minute Nickelodeon Christmas Stories. Sure, they’re borderline nonsense, but the kids like them and it feels neat to have a big hefty Christmas Book in hand.
Pigpen's Mama says
Stick Man, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
Glad you posted this, because I’m trying to start a tradition of a Christmas-y book on Christmas Eve (the two above are what I’ve done so far.)
anon says
Olive the Other Reindeer is cute!
Anonymous says
Christmas isn’t secular. Ridiculous question. If you want special winter books try Snowy Day or The Velveteen Rabbit.
AnotherAnon says
And a happy Friday to you too.
Anonymous says
I treat Christmas as a religious holiday, but it’s pretty absurb to pretend that there isn’t a secular Christmas too.
Anonymous says
Please find another site to troll!!!
Anonymous says
Wow lots of people just don’t care about my Jewish kids being constantly hurt by Christmas.
Anonymous says
You are trolling.
Anon says
Ok so I’m Jewish and I understand that Christmas is a religious holiday, regardless of whether or not you believe in G-d, and people who celebrate Christmas don’t tend to fully understand that. That said, it was very clear what AwayEmily meant. She wants books about Santa and Christmas trees, not books about Jesus. It’s not a “ridiculous question” because there are lots of books about celebrating Christmas that don’t mention Jesus. If you were offended, you could have phrased your reply very differently and it would have been much better received.
Anonymous says
People celebrating a holiday in their own homes by reading books with their children is not hurting your Jewish children. I did not grow up celebrating Christmas, so I know what you mean about the “hurt” quite well, but THIS specific post is not it.
shortperson says
yes ditto. i am pulling my 2 yo from her class’s “holiday singalong” with 9 “secular” christmas songs and one hannukah song. but i dont see what’s wrong with this request.
Anonymous says
What is the deal with holiday “concerts” for toddlers anyway? Over Thanksgiving, I was treated to video of my 18-month-old nephew sitting in a chair and staring while his teachers sang songs. What is the point?
Anonymous says
Christmas Wombat
DLC says
My late mother in law collected different editions of “The night before Christmas” and every Christmas Eve, the family would gather, each with a copy, and they would read it out loud together, comparing the pictures. After she passed, we kept all the copies (I think we have 8-10) and continue the tradition with our kids- it’s one of our favorite traditions.
Emily S. says
The Night Before Christmas illustrated by Holly Hobbie; Toot and Puddle I’ll Be Home For Christmas by Holly Hobbie; The Night Before the Night Before Christmas by Richard Scary; Finding Christmas by Munsch; Olivia Helps with Christmas; Llama Llama Holiday Drama are some of our favorites.
A says
Maple and Willow’s Christmas Tree is a cute one.
Jeffiner says
We have a Little Golden Book version of the Nutcracker. Our other favorite is A Wish For Wings That Work.
anne-on says
Little Blue Truck’s christmas was a hit when mine was smaller. Velveteen rabbit (though dear lord I cannot read that book without breaking out into an ugly cry). We have and love this pop up night before Christmas book, but I did save it until my son was old enough to be gentle with the pages:
https://www.amazon.com/Night-Before-Christmas-Pop-up/dp/0689838999/ref=sr_1_8?crid=1WXT6RSHZTTID&keywords=robert+sabuda+pop-up+books&qid=1575647236&sprefix=robert+s%2Cdigital-text%2C162&sr=8-8
Anonymous says
The Sweet Smell of Christmas (scratch and sniff!)
Lily says
Little Blue Truck’s Christmas is great, it has twinkly lights!
We also love Llama Llama Holiday Drama.
Snowy Day (not specifically about Christmas) is really nice.
Molly says
Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree, Pick a Pine Tree, When Santa was a Baby, and The Little Reindeer. All current faves at our house.
Anonymous says
For the younger set, Duck and Goose “It’s Time for Christmas” and Little Blue Truck Christmas have been really popular for us. This year, my eldest is also interested in Mr. Willoughby’s Christmas Tree and is *obsessed* with The Polar Express, although we did have a quick talk with him about never jumping onto trains without mommy or daddy, even if the conductor says it’s OK (he’s really into trains and conductors and would probably do this, given the opportunity…).
Coach Laura says
Favorite favorite favorite is James Herriot’s stories for kids. The two winter/holiday themed stories are Moses the Kitten and The Christmas Day Kitten. They are separate books but you can also find them in his collection – Treasury for Children. I still read these each Christmas.
Pediatrician visits says
Greetings,
Trying to get a sense of how many doctors visits/antibiotic RXes are normal for 1.5+ year old toddler. He’s been in daycare since he was an infant. Seems like he’s on antibiotics often in the fall/winter because one or more of his ears is “a little pink.” For example he went in for a routine (non-ear) matter the other day, and the doc put him on antibiotics for his ear. I trust this medical practice and am a fan of reducing discomfort and taking antibiotics when a medical professional tells one to take them. Last time kid was on antibiotics for a stubborn ear infection (just a few weeks ago!), doc said he wasn’t a candidate for tubes. Kiddo is eating and sleeping well (knock on wood). I guess my ultimate Q is–is being in the pediatrician’s office 1-2x/month in the fall/winter normal (between iron check ups, well visits, random visit due to fever, etc.)?! And how often are your toddler’s ears an issue?
Kiddo is hitting all milestones, is well-adjusted, has lots of energy, etc.
Thank you & Happy Friday!
Buble says
FWIW, our pediatrician visits are more like 1-2x per year for non-checkups. But every kid is different.
anon says
Um ours are more like 6? Per kid? My daughter at the doctor when we saw a person we hadn’t seen before “I didn’t know there were any doctors here we hadn’t seen before!” (the practice has 12 doctors…)
agh says
and now I’m reading further down and feeling bad about myself. We just follow what our pediatrician says. Go to the biggest and well known practice in our city. My 8 month old has already been on antibiotics for ear infections twice…
I’m confused about where you find pediatricians who don’t prescribe antibiotics? Or your kids don’t get ear infections? Mine definitely do, and we’ve seen probably 6 doctors for them (three kids over the past five years) all of whom have prescribed antibiotics. Maybe I should be pushing back harder?
Anon says
It sounds like a lot of people on this thread have kids that don’t get ear infections. My BFF has one of those unicorn kids too (he’s 4 and in daycare and has literally never had one). Don’t feel bad about it – I think the movement to not overuse antibiotics is fine, but when they’re necessary, they’re necessary and even life-saving (yes, people died from ear infections before antibiotics). Thank goodness for science!
Ashley says
Um yeah. My kid had antibiotics for ear infections 8 times within his first year of life. And that was with a pediatrician who really preferred not to give antibiotics when unnecessary. We had at least 5 other visits where no Rx was given and she was like well, I see some fluid in there, but it’s not infected, so come back in a few days if he seems worse or develops fever. We ended up with ear tubes and have not had any antibiotics in the last 10 months.
Ashley says
To be clear, I mean “um yeah” as in, there must not be many on this thread with kids who are abnormally prone to ear infections.
AwayEmily says
My sense is that different doctors take different approaches to antibiotic use. I deliberately sought out a doctor who uses them very sparingly, and so we only get them if things get pretty bad (with the result being that some of my kids’ ear infections resolve on their own, and some end up needing antibiotics ). It sounds like your doctor turns to antibiotics a bit faster, but if you’re comfortable with that and trust her then I don’t necessarily see a problem. I would also encourage talking to her directly about this — when my doctor prescribes antibiotics (for my or my kid) I usually ask if I can wait for a bit to see what happens before taking them. If she says no, then of course I take them immediately. But if she says it’s ok to wait and see, then I will wait it out.
AwayEmily says
Oh, and also — when your kid is under a year they almost always want you to come in for a fever but when they get older you don’t have to bring them in for a low fever, so those visits will slow down considerably (especially if you have a child prone to fever in general).
Anonymous says
Not totally clear how often he’s been on antibiotics. Visits 1-2x fall and 1-2x winter seem normal but if you’re getting antibiotics each time that seems like a lot. My LOs rarely had ear infections and if it was at all borderline, I usually got a prescription with a recommendation to wait 24 hours to see if it improves on its own (e.g no more fever and not pulling at ear).
drpepperesq says
i would say when my son was that age we were at the pediatrician that much. he has always been in daycare, and the first year to year and a half i felt like we lived at the doctor. the nurses were very familiar with us and both sets of grandparents (lol). 75-80% of the time it was viral and there was no medicine prescribed. if i were you, if the doc was phrasing it as the ear looks “a little pink,” i think that would be a good opening to ask about the frequency of antibiotics or the doc’s thoughts on waiting and seeing (if you don’t mind that you may be at the doc again in like 2-3 days). once my kid hit 2, 2.5, the doc visits slowed waaaay down and now the nurses are like “hey! long time no see!”
Anonymous says
This is what we have done. Our three year old has only had one ear infection needing antibiotics but we waited two days and went back (and it wasn’t better). We live in a community with very low antibiotic prescription.
Anon says
My 2.5YO is not in daycare (but started part-time preschool this fall) and I think she’s been to the doctor twice in her entire life for a sick visit. However, she’s (knock on wood) never had an ear infection (I personally have only ever had one, and that was as an adult, must be genetics), and I don’t usually bother taking her in unless it’s a high fever or something is dragging on or her behavior is off. The viral stuff we just treat at home with rest, fluids and tylenol or motrin.
Anon says
My 22 month old started daycare this past summer and has gone to the doctor four times (excluding well visits and immunization visits) since then. At two of those visits she got antibiotics for ear infections. The other two were croup (treated with steroids) and a viral infection (not treated with prescription medicine). Our ped actually mentioned tubes at the second ear infection visit, but my attitude is that I want to go through one winter in daycare just using antibiotics as frequently as needed (because it’s such a short time relative to her life) and see what happens. If she’s still getting ear infections regularly in her second winter, then I’d consider it. I think antibiotic overuse is more of a global problem than an individual one.
All that said, if a doctor gave me antibiotics for ears and my child did not have symptoms of an ear infection, I would probably not use them.
Anonymous says
For both my kids, at that age we had 1 or 2 visits between Sept and April (usually for bronchiolitis). We’ve never taken them in for ear issues and they’ve never been on antibiotics (at 3.5), but I suspect we’re an outlier in the other direction.
Anon says
I would be a little concerned about getting antibiotics prescriptions for an ear that was “a little pink” with no symptoms. My daughter has relatively frequent ear infections and every time we’ve gotten a prescription for antibiotics, DD has been in obvious pain and the doctor has said something like “wow, both ears are completely filled with pus and look like they’re about to burst.” (sorry for the grossness, but they usually say something like that). Could you try asking if this is something that you could watch and wait? I asked that question once and the doctor was like “LOL no unless you want your child in the ER with a brain infection” which makes sense given the severity (and my kiddo always got better immediately after starting antibiotics) but I’ve heard that watch and wait is a common strategy with less severe infections.
Anonymous says
+1
CCLA says
+2. Ears a little pink sounds, to my layperson ears, like overtreating and I’d ask if really necessary or maybe for an rx but advice on when to pull the trigger vs starting ASAP. We try not to overuse though tend to follow the rec that abx should be used more quickly when the kid is less than a year, something to do with their having less ability to clear them naturally in the way that older kids and adults can.
Anon says
I think it depends a lot on the kid, but it’s good for parents to question whether antibiotics are necessary or if the pediatrician is prescribing in part because of pressure to “do something.”
My kids have been to the pediatrician plenty (both in daycare), but have never been on oral antibiotics. My pediatrician uses them only when necessary and I think her approach is a good one.
I was on antibiotics for ear infections all the time as a kid and I wonder if it was really necessary and if they might have done harm. One of my parents keep antibiotics on hand and takes them at the drop of a hat even for what appear to be viral illnesses, so I think this must have factored in.
Clementine says
I agree that it depends a lot on the parent… With my biological kid (who I have full decision making power over), we’ve had a couple (maybe 3? and kid is 4) ear infections that required antibiotics, but also have had antibiotic drops for pinkeye a few times. I generally am pretty conservative in when I bring him in and most stuff blows over without much fuss.
With my current foster kiddo, parent literally requests that I rush kid to the doctor for EVERYTHING. Consequently, I’m ending up at Urgent Care with kid where they’re very likely to prescribe an antibiotic for borderline ears. I think that it comes down to trusting your pediatrician. Also, having had a number of different kids – some kids are just more prone than others to antibiotics-necessary infections.
Anon says
Not trying to be snarky, but I don’t really understand lots of ped visits and yet never getting antibiotics. I pretty much only take my child to the pediatrician if I think they need antibiotics – if it’s a cold, viral illness with fever or vomiting bug we just do supportive care at home (once the kid is 1+, I understand you have to be more cautious with infants). Are you taking in kids with ear infections and the ped is saying they don’t need antibiotics even though the ear infection is making them miserable? Or is it something else?
Anonymous says
This. I don’t take my kid in unless I think there is a good chance the doctor can and should do something about the illness or injury (antibiotics, Tamiflu, IV fluids, whatever). I am not going to risk exposing my kid and myself to additional germs in the waiting room unnecessarily.
Pogo says
I’m a big believer in the nurses’ line. I think a lot of people take their kid in when the nurses’ line could suffice, but it’s also a comfort level thing (I feel comfortable with the nurse giving me direction over the phone without her seeing my child, and knowing that she’ll tell me when I really do need to come in). I don’t necessarily begrudge people who take their kid in because they want someone to physically see and examine them.
Anon says
I like the idea in theory but our nurses line has always told us our kids needed to be seen. I guess they’re scared of getting sued if they tell you not to come and then something bad happens. By my second kid, I felt confident enough to be my own nurses line.
Ashley says
I will say I have taken mine a lot and gotten nothing. But with ear infections he almost never had a fever or pulled at ears, so he’d be extra irritable and snotty and wake a lot, and I had no idea whether an ear infection might be brewing. I’d say 70% of the time we had an infection and got abx, other 30% the doc couldn’t find anything wrong other than a viral cold or something.
Anon says
I’m the Anon who takes my kids in, but doesn’t get oral antibiotics. I don’t bring them in for run of the mill bugs, but a million little other things like: rashes, injuries, potential exposure to vaccine-preventable disease + illness consistent with early symptoms of disease (they’re vaccinated on schedule, but that’s not 100%, particularly before the boosters at 4), trouble breathing during an illness, and putting something up the nose.
Added up between two kids and we’re at urgent care a lot.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
Antibiotics really tear up my kids’ stomachs so I am very careful with it. With my first, I would not give her antibiotics unless she had a fever in addition to significant ear pain. A slightly pink ear with no fever or screaming at night would definitely not qualify. However, I followed this rule with my youngest and she ended up with a ruptured eardrum. So with her I will do antibiotics if she has persistent pain and doctor says there is significant fluid buildup.
In terms of frequency, it really depends. I think my oldest had 4-5 ear infections in her first year. Then she got ear tubes and hasn’t had an ear infection since.
Anon says
Have you tried probiotics? They can counteract a lot of the stomach issues and are safe to give to toddlers (not sure about babies, since my daughter never had antibiotics as an infant).
anon says
After what seemed like an endless series of ear infections and colds, my pediatrician gave us the choice of pulling our 18 month old from group care or her getting tubes ASAP. He was worried that the ear infections would affect her speech and language development. We moved her home with a nanny and she never had another ear infection.
It may be coincidence, but we needed to break the cycle of us all always being miserably sick. My husband and I couldn’t go on like that at work and it was plainly affecting my DD’s health.
AnonOP says
A question for anyone who’s dealt with PPD or anything similar: how do you protect your marriage during this time? I’m the mother to an only and currently going through major weaning-related mood issues – everything I felt in the postpartum period but worse. Have started the referral process with my GP, am holding on at work, and my toddler seems to be taking it in stride, but things with spouse are feeling very unsettled – I think he’s trying to give me space? – and I’m not sure if speaking honestly about what I need seems counterproductive as I don’t trust my own feelings at the moment (and don’t know what I need). Do I wait this out and pick up the pieces later? Would prefer to be proactive, but unsure how.
anon says
I’m saying this as someone who has been there with PPD and mood issues after weaning — right now, focus on you and what you need to heal. Seriously. While there is value in being honest with your partner about where you’re at emotionally, I think you have to focus less on how to help him during this time, and more on doing whatever it is you need to heal yourself. Yes, there will probably be fallout and marriage work to be done later, but you cannot do that when your own well is dry. I realize this probably sounds really callous, and I don’t mean for it to be. Just want to give you encouragement to prioritize your own needs right now.
Anonymous says
I would agree with this advice. I know my husband read a book called The Postpartum Husband. I think it helped him better understand what was going on when I could not articulate what I needed.
Anonymous says
How long is this referral process?
Anonymous says
Date nights. I need to get out of the house and do something just me and DH. We don’t do any kid or work or house related talk. We had a long rough patch in the year after our second was born and I wish we had started date nights sooner. We genuinely needed to date again – do fun new activities together. Even 2 hours will make a huge difference. We try to meet for lunch once a week as well.
Also, we’ve discussed and agreed on just trying to put as much effort as possible into being kind to each other. Sometimes I spend so much time worrying about my parenting I forget it’s just as important to pay attention to being kind in how I interact with or approach my spouse.
2 Cents says
I second date night. Or even, just you and your husband activity. I went through terrible ppd/a and our relationship suffered for it while I was trying to get my head straight. It did help to escape to an occasional movie or quick(ish) dinner or even just food shopping alone with the hubs. Felt normal in a way I hadn’t felt since before getting pregnant.
lsw says
When I had extreme mood swings and rage after weaning (so bad I went to the ob gyn), I was honest to my husband about it. It was really freeing. I told him how it was scaring me, and I didn’t like feeling that way, and that it was not directed at our kid or him, and I was trying. I hope that for you, as it was for me, this is a temporary situation that will resolve with medical care and attention. Hugs!
Anonymous says
Tell DH exactly what you just said here. “You and our marriage are important to me. Right now I am going through the weaning process, which is really affecting my mental health and mood. The only way I know to make it better is to seek professional help, and I have started the process for that, but it might take a while. I am overwhelmed and feel like I am drowning to take care of kiddo and work. I also want to take care of our marriage, but sometimes it is too easy for that to come last. I suggest a date night soon. Please know I love you, you are important to me, our marriage is important to me, and I appreciate you. If there is anything I can do differently, let’s talk it out.”
Honestly, though, I have faith that your DH understands what is going on and is less phased than you think. He understands that it is a season. But recognizing together that it is a season and that you love each other and are priorities in each other’s lives might go a long way to feel more settled.
OPAnon says
Thanks, all.
Anon says
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Have you had your first postpartum period since weaning? You may find that your symptoms suddenly ease then. It happened to me and a couple of my friends. The post-weaning PMS was the longest and worst PMS of my life.
OPAnon says
Yes sadly I got my period back as soon as I went back to work ages ago! But I agree – it sucked.
Anon says
Oh no I don’t mean the first postpartum period (sorry, I worded it poorly) – I got that ages before I weaned too. I meant the first period after your last nursing session. I had terrible PMS (actually PMDD with mood changes, etc) before that period.
OPAnon says
Oh that makes sense!
Anonymous says
In our marriage we just wait things out and pick up the pieces later and it’s worked so far (together for 10yrs married for 5 with 2 kids). Postpartum is just a bad time for me and I swear my husband is part of the 10% of men who get PPD. We just know it’s not the best time but we just have to not get divorced during it and after a few months it gets better. Marriage is a long game (hopefully) and sometimes you just have to keep swimming.
OPAnon says
Thanks, this is very comforting to hear!
Meg says
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! My sister had bad PPD and then an anti-depressant triggered seizure, all of which really freaked out her and her husband. Luckily they both recognized what was going on and agreed to regular therapy: she went every week, he joined every other week. It was hard on the whole family, but they tackled it together as a medical issue. My brother-in-law did send out some calls for help to the family when he got especially overwhelmed. Now that they’re out of the darkest woods a year later, they go on couple weekend trips like once every few months. They’ve also tried to do some standard refresh the life things (toy clean-out, healthier diet, exercise) to regain a sense of control. I’m really glad to see them both doing better. It did take a while and lots of investment to get here. Hang in there!!
Anon says
I’m sorry—this is so hard.
Weaning was brutal to my mental health. I told my husband what was going on, so he could pick up the slack at home, even if he didn’t totally understand. I focused on riding it out and taking care of myself. Absurd quantities of Netflix was helpful when I was in the worst of it. It was some long weeks, but it slowly got better.
There’s a great essay on Cup Of Jo on post-weaning depression.
anon says
I haven’t tried this Fireside candle specifically, but can confirm that fireside scents in general are very cozy and Christmassy!
lsw says
And I love the crackly wooden wicks, though I haven’t tried this one!
DLC says
When you have a babysitter or nanny that works for you during dinner hours (say, a sitter that comes from 5p-9pm or a nanny that stays until 8pm to help with bedtime) – do you provide dinner, or make enough dinner that they can eat with the family? Or do they usually take care of themselves? We are starting to look for evening help on the nights when I work – I know that I get thrown off kilter when I don’t get to eat, so I’m wondering how folks navigate this with caregivers?
Anon says
A nanny is probably different, but for a sitter we tell them they’re welcome to eat any food in our house but we don’t cook them a meal or anything. We only have a sitter at dinner time when we’re going out to dinner though, so having to cook a meal would kind of defeat the purpose.
anne-on says
Are you eating yourself during that time? It would feel weird to me to have a family meal but then ask the sitter to like, do laundry, so I’d probably offer, especially it you have them stay until 9. I did have sitters from 4-7 regularly when my son was smaller and they never ate with me (and I always ate dinner with my husband closer to 8). I think if you go much later than 7:30 though you should probably offer them food/snacks.
SC says
We have one sitter who appreciates a meal when she sits at meal time, and we provide something for her–usually items we have on hand for lunch or prepared grocery store items like rotisserie chicken or red beans and rice.
Most of our sitters are musicians with weird schedules and specific diets. They usually bring their own food or something like a protein shake. We tell them they’re welcome to anything in the house or whatever Kiddo is eating if we’re ordering food for him, but I know they’ll say no thank you and don’t worry about it ahead of time.
Annie says
We always provide food but its just extra of what our kids are eating, and none too exciting. When I was a babysitter in high school parents always provided dinner (usually pizza) for me and the kid. I would have felt really weird not being given food.
Sitter question says
Another sitter question – if you have to cancel a babysitter at the last minute due to sickness or some other reason, do you still pay them?
FP says
If it’s within 24 hours, I’d probably offer to pay something. We actually just had to cancel a babysitter scheduled for this weekend due to a community member’s death/scheduled funeral, and I didn’t feel the need to offer to pay since it was a few days in advance.
SC says
I would offer to pay something if it’s within 24 hours. If it were a few days ahead, I wouldn’t offer to pay for that evening but would try to reschedule.
Lily says
Recs for dishwasher-safe sippy cups? We are almost out of the bottle phase and we are so sick of washing bottles, cups, baby plates constantly – it takes at least 30 minutes a day. TIA!
AwayEmily says
Everything goes in the dishwasher! Or at least, I put everything in. Bottles, pump parts, kids plates, sippy cups, etc. I had one of those Munchkin dishwasher baskets for the little parts back when we were in the bottle stage. Anyway, I’m pretty sure all sippy cups are dishwasher-safe. The 360 ones are nice because you don’t have to clean a straw.
Anon. says
+1 Everything goes in the dishwasher. We use Munchkin 360 cups, plastic plates/bowls from Ikea and Target. All of them have been through the dishwasher probably 100s of times at this point.
Anon says
+1. It all goes in. Kiddo is 2.5 now. We use the 360 cups and the plastic Target threshold plates (which are microwave safe too). I also have some kid size stainless steel tumblers for when she wants to be a big kid and have an open cup *and* I am in a mood to clean up spilled milk in the name of independence. Early on we also used the munchkin weighted straw cups alongside the 360, but probably quit those around 18 months because they leak with cold milk and straws are a pain to clean (although I put mine in the dishwasher and hoped for the best). Kiddo gets plenty of straws eating out. I also liked the Nuk trainer (ours had elephants on it) because it was a traditional sippy but didn’t have too many parts or small crevices (so easy to get clean in the dishwasher).
Em says
We use the Munchkin 360 cups and throw them in the dishwasher. We’ve been doing it for a couple years with no issue.
Cb says
We have the oxo one which is dishwasher safe. But we use ceramic plates and bowls with my son so everything can go in the dishwasher.
Anon says
Everyone I know uses the 360 but my kid couldn’t figure it out (and I couldn’t either! That $%#* is complicated!!). We got standard sippies with spouts (Tippee Tommee brand) at Target. Straw cups are supposed to be better for fine motor and speech development, so we used those in restaurants whenever we could. But the straw cups are impossible to clean in the dishwasher (straw gets moldy) so we never used them at home.
Anonymous says
The Thermos Funtainer straw cup cleans very well in the dishwasher, and they sell replacement straws.
FP says
Plug for Lollaland straw cups – they cleaned very well for us.
anon says
Try again when kiddo is older! It was useless for us at first, but became a total staple item over time. Bonus: Remove the lid, and it’s still a great cup for preschoolers.
poiu says
Tip and toss. They cost about $2.50 for a 4 pack at Target. We ended up getting enough so that we didn’t have to run the dishwasher frequently.
rosie says
If you are ok putting plastic in the dishwasher, I think most sippy cups probably are dishwasher safe. We have a variety of cups. I usually wash straw by hand, but throw everything else in the dishwasher. It took a while to transition to the 360 cups, but they are really great. You can get them in stainless if you’re more comfortable with that in the dishwasher (plus it provides some insulation, so we like to use them for milk in the summer). And lots of fun patterns, all the tops are interchangeable, at least if you get the muchkin ones, so you just take a cup, a neck, and a rubber top thing, and good to go.
CCLA says
Yes, the stainless 360 cups are awesome!! We used the plastic 360 cups for a while to get the baby used to them but are trying to cut out plastic, so now that she has them down, we’re going all stainless. We have maybe 8 stainless 360 cups for 2 kids and never run out. DD1 keeps one in her room overnight with water which we’ll probably start with DD2 soon. We’ve had maybe 2 leaks in the 2 years of doing that. We also use the thermos foogo for the preschooler, which is mostly stainless steel.
shortperson says
pura stainless bottles with straws if you dont want to put plastic in the dishwasher.
SC says
Here’s my holiday success story for this year. Last night, it became clear that MIL’s plan for Christmas Eve involved my family of 3 being at two different large, noisy gatherings for a total of probably 6 hours. I’ve posted frequently about my 4-year-old’s sensory and behavioral issues, and there is absolutely no way he can hold it together for that. Last Christmas, we had to leave MIL’s house 4 hours in, right before the gift exchange, because Kiddo bit two people (another kid and me). Based on this year’s Thanksgiving, we have 2-3 hours before Kiddo falls apart. I repeatedly told MIL that several plans wouldn’t work for us because they exceeded 2-3 hours, and it finally sank in. We developed a plan that substantially revises longstanding Christmas traditions. But I think she’s getting the family time that’s important to her, and I am happy that we are not setting Kiddo up for a complete disaster.
(Also, I’ve posted about Kiddo before, but we are addressing the sensory and behavioral issues working with his daycare, with occupational therapy, play therapy, individual therapy, and medication. His doctors and therapists have talked about managing his sensory diet and giving him opportunities for positive experiences in environments that are difficult for him. I believe managing the expectations we put on him is the right way to take care of him. He can’t “just” manage this type of environment for extended periods of time.)
Anonymous says
Kudos to you and MIL for developing a plan that should set kiddo up for success–and reduce your holiday stress!
Anon says
That’s wonderful. I’m so happy she finally gets it and that you’re setting yourselves up for a less stressful holiday.
Anonymous says
I feel like the biggest part of adulting that no one warns you about is how to combine family traditions and accept that you can’t please everyone, especially post-kids. Pre-kids we always travelled to see DH’s family.
Now we stay home and we see my parents at church on Christmas eve and when we got their house for dinner 3-7pm on Christmas day. That’s it. And we’re close with them (like they see the kids 3-4 times a week close) and don’t have to balance special needs kids or DH’s family (they live away and don’t visit at Christmas).
Anon says
This. I told my parents that I refuse to travel on the holidays with (small) children, even if it’s just a 2 hour drive (down I-95). They are welcome to come visit us (and we have the room) but my younger, kid-free sisters would be appalled if Christmas was not at their childhood home. So we visit on off weekends around the holidays and that’s that. My kiddo is also infinitely more comfortable in our baby-proofed house so even with our local inlaws I insist on hosting so that we can incorporate kid-friendly aspects into DH’s family celebrations (e.g., not use fine china for kiddo and have a space kiddo can move around in that doesn’t resemble a very white and breakable museum – seriously, I’m terrified I will stain or break something at their house).
Anonymous says
Good for you for sticking up for your kid. I am a fully grown adult and would also melt down well before the six hour-mark of holiday parties.
Anon says
Same!
anon says
Way to advocate for your kiddo. A 6-hour gathering would be hard on any kid, let alone one who has sensory challenges.
Anonymous says
Looking for advice from anyone with a similar child. Pre-K boy is on the intense side. He has always struggled with disproportionate emotional reactions more so than other kids, and we are to the point of looking for help with it. In the meantime, looking for ideas here. Biggest issue is being extremely hard on himself if he can’t do something the way he envisions the first time – ie, messes up his drawing at school and is screaming and kicking on the floor or banging his head on the wall. Happens most often in that sort of circumstance (the day we tried learning to ride a bike was SUPER FUN), but also where he’s playing a game with the class and forgot a rule (huuuge upset reaction that he couldn’t remember something) or even watching a movie and something he doesn’t like happens. It comes up a lot more in preK because he is now more interested in drawing and writing- was never interested till now so his skills are minimal. We already talk every day about things we screwed up at work that we the tried again, we practice trying again, lots of praise for any time he does manage to hold it together, etc. kiddo will refuse to discuss the issue, cover his ears, etc, if you try to get him to talk about a specific instance and what he was thinking or feeling, so we mostly just try to narrate our own lives at this point. Any other ideas??
GCA says
Following – my son, 4.5, sounds pretty similar. Perfectionist tendencies, takes it very hard when he doesn’t do something ‘right’ the first time.
Anonymous says
Daniel Tiger has a few good videos re emotional regulation. I have one twin like this and honestly, it requires a lot of patience and modeling of emotional regulation. Visible things like dropping something on the kitchen floor and cleaning it up vs talking about our day are better models of how we deal with upsets or accidents.
Is there a kids yoga class near you? Or a parent and kid one? Learning deep breathing has been helpful. Blowing bubbles with a straw in water is also helpful to help them learn to breath out.
Anonymous says
Thanks. We definitely point out when we spill something and calmly clean up, etc. I will think about a yoga class — we met last year with a therapist on a slightly different issue and kiddo just flat out refused to try blowing bubbles, taking a breath, etc. from2-3 he would blow out a “mad candle,” Do the Daniel tiger 1-2-3-4, etc, but now refuses.
Anonymous says
Will he do the DT ‘stomp three times when you’re mad’ one? That seemed to work better for my guy who needed an appropriate physical way to respond.
Anonymous says
Lots of unstructured play in nature helps as well. Emphasis on exploring vs. learning a skill.
Anonymous says
Thanks!! We do a ton of outdoor play and spend enough time in the woods that my friends think we’re bonkers.
anon says
My DD is sort of like this, though she’s now in 1st grade and is much improved. She’s a perfectionist and likes to be right/win. The big ones for us are:
(1) Set our DD up for success. Don’t do stressful things when she’s tired, hungry, sick or hot/cold. Hard-for-her activities are best for mid-morning when she’s rested and intellectually engaged. We taught her to ride a bike on a Saturday morning, while a weekday after school was a disaster.
(2) Don’t try to talk it through when she’s stressing. She just hears whah-whah-whah and gets more stressed. We’re better setting expectations before she starts the activity. E.g., We’re going to play a boardgame now. You may lose and when you lose it’s important to be a good sport. Remember? How will you be a good sport if you lose? If she can’t handle the pre-game conversation, it’s not the right time for the activity and we do something else. She doesn’t like post-event discussions because she hates remembering that she did something wrong. Pre-event discussions seem to be more effective.
(3) Give her space to sort it out and then come back to the activity. E.g., “Hey, you seem stressed. I’m going to give you a break to cool down, but you let me know when you’re calm and ready to continue and I’m happy to keep playing with you.”
Anonymous says
#2 is such a helpful suggestion – thank you!
Anonymous says
Wednedsay’s Washington Post parenting chat (live[dot]washingtonpost[dot]com, then scroll to the correct date) featured a similar question–you might take a look there (I’d summarize the answer, but I no longer remember, other than I thought it was interesting at the time)
CHL says
Not sure if it’s too late but I would recommend the Social Learning Superflex resources (there are books on their website and there are programs run by therapists that you might be able to find in your area.) The idea is that there are bad guys that try to take over our brains and different superheros that we can use to fight them. Like Glassman tries to get us to have big upset reactions to small problems, but Decider can help us decide if that’s what’s really happening, Cranium Coach can give us secret self talk to help get through the situation, etc.My son has really liked these. The Social Learning Site also has other books on these kinds of topics.
Anonymous says
Thank you!
Strategy mom says
We are about to start play therapy for this. I think he’s struggling to understand new big emotions
lsw says
We are approaching our third holiday at our daycare. We started going there right after they opened, so it’s their third holiday too. First holiday, nothing was mentioned about staff gifts, I gave to our kids’ teachers. Last year, we got an email that they staff decided they wanted parents to donate to the daycare, not to them individually. I wasn’t so sure this was the staff’s idea (I do *not* love the owner/director), so I gave the teachers cash in a card and figured they could keep it themselves or donate it to the school if they wanted.
This year, we just got an email that reads “Since staff are not permitted individual gifts, to avoid any type of favoritism, they have gathered a list of simple possibilities this year in gifts for all of the staff together.” It goes on to explain that they want to pool money to buy pizza, coffee, snacks etc. for the staff. I am apparently allowed to write the teachers a note. Again, I feel like this is the director speaking. I worked in a daycare. I got paid nothing. I know they are not getting paid much either. I want to help.
My reaction is probably being colored by how much I dislike the terrible director, but I also feel like daycare teachers aren’t going to treat my child as a favorite because I gave them each $50. They are adults. Am I overreacting and should I just give to their weird pizza fund or can I still give them cash in cards?
Anonymous says
In this situation I would probably give to their weird pizza fund but write a heartfelt indiviudal note the card about how much you appreciate the work they do and how your child benefits. That will be meaningful for them. You can also mention in passing that you saw the ‘rules’ changed and you didn’t want to get anyone in trouble so you contributed to the group fund.
Anon says
That’d what I would do too.
Nan says
This and I would also take this up with the director.
Anonymous says
I don’t think you are overreacting, but I would probably do what the director says (and consider switching daycares because I can’t imagine the staff are happy!)
lsw says
Ugh, I consider switching all the time…they are closed CONSTANTLY (36 days this year! They were closed Weds, Thurs, Fri AND Mon for Thanksgiving!). It’s just one of the only options close to our house (and my work, which are 1 mile apart from each other and the daycare), and he’s starting preK at school soon.
This is good advice. Thank you!
Emily S. says
Also, instead of giving money to the pizza fund, could you just buy them pizza or bring in coffee or snacks? That is a burden on you, to be sure, but it would feel more like a gift from parent(s) than something they had to do themselves with money from parents. Maybe other parents can chip in, or the class can split up the week so Family A sends in pizza on Monday, Family B has coffee and bagels delivered Tuesday, etc. I second talking to the director to get a sense of why this is the policy — to give her the benefit of the doubt, she’s privy to the day to day mechanisms and politics of the center and there might have been teacher complaints (or even overt displays) about favorite parents in the past. But asking her why and expressing that as a former daycare teacher, you want to be able to give individually, might lead to more transparency or a different policy.
anon says
I’m guessing there was an Incident of Concern that made the director change her policy. Either some teachers were getting the shaft, or there really were incidents of favoritism. I get that you don’t like the director, but I sort of get where she’s coming from on this issue. It’s not like she’s outlawing a celebration altogether or preventing parents from expressing appreciation.
shortperson says
gift ideas for brother in law’s girlfriend? we dont know her that well but like her a lot, her first holiday season with his family. she grew up wealthy and lives very simply and i am finding that a tough combo to shop for, kind of my opposite.
Anonymous says
I’d vote a fun consumable of some sort…fancy chocolates, sparkling wine, David’s tea or similar. Or maybe a fun throw blanket in a neutral color/pattern.
Anonymous says
David’s Tea is a great one. Even if she’s not a tea drinker it’s nice to have on hand for guests throughout the winter.
Emily S. says
Standard professional working lady gifts? Like, leather tech gloves (plug for the ones from J. Crew Factory; I just bought a second pair so I never have to be without) or an artistic/minimalist ring dish for her desk. Would she appreciate flowers or a live plant? Otherwise, a book: so many outlets are running lists of the best books of 2019, and I I saw that Penguin has a hotline you can call to chat with a bookseller who will then recommend a book (not just Penguin titles.) Or maybe an experience gift, like a gift card to a nice restaurant she can enjoy with your brother in law, concert tickets, or local museum membership.
Anonymous says
I tend towards higher quality locally produced consumables in that case. Like the local spirits company or chocolate company etc depending on what you have in your area. If she lives simply she’s probably adverse to ‘stuff’ and if she grew up wealthy she probably had lots of exposure to national brand higher quality items.
Also, you are a saint for buying for BIL’s new GF, that’s way more tangential than I’ve ever done.
shortperson says
these are great ideas thanks! i do like to buy gifts. also she is the first gf i’ve really liked and would be a great sister in law so i am doing what i can. plus BIL has never bought my kids (his only nieces!) gifts until suddenly this year when they started to live together so i feel like she cares about giving gifts. and as is obvious from previous statement, inlaws are terrible about gift giving so i’d like for her to get something when she shows up at their house.
Anon says
That’s a sweet sentiment, but I really don’t think she’s going to marry your BIL because you got her an amazing gift (and if she did, it probably wouldn’t be in either her or BIL’s best interests..). She would probably appreciate you telling her how much you like her and how happy you are that she’s dating BIL just as much or more.
shortperson says
no i get it. i want her to feel welcome that’s all.
Anon says
I agree if she is going to be in an in person situation where other people present are giving and receiving gifts, you should get her something for sure. It’s nice of you to consider that.
Anonymous says
If they live together, I suggest getting them a joint gift. Much less pressure and opportunity for an “arms race” where she feels bad she didn’t get you something, etc. I’m giving this advice because you said they already sent gifts to your kids. If you’re going to be opening in person, I agree that you should get her something and that it should be relatively generic.