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This maternity sweater dress by Maternal America looks comfortable, mature, and chic. I like that it is a faux wrap style, but the top doesn’t have the wrap element and it’s a normal round neck. I also like that the wrap is unique and has a big sash-like quality to it. The dress is machine washable, too. Both colors look great to me, but for “re-wearability,” I’d probably go with the gray. The black leather booties are cute as styled with the addition of black opaque tights, or even tights with a pattern would be cute. This dress is $119 and is available in sizes XS–L at Nordstrom. Faux Wrap Maternity Dress A plus-size option in sizes 1X–3X is at PinkBlush. Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
NewMomAnon says
Heavily privileged quandary, and ya’ll are the only ones I can ask. I’m halfway through my generous 20-week maternity leave and dreading going back to work so much that it’s keeping me up at night. I had a performance review on Friday that just reminded me how little I care about my career, which has just been a way to make money. I’m having major fantasies of quitting to become a SAHM.
I’m the primary breadwinner, making around 4x my husband’s earnings. On paper, we could absolutely live off his pay alone. It covers all of our basic necessities with a bit left each month. It would mean cutting way back on retirement and college savings, as well as a big overhaul of our spending habits. No more major travel, frequent dinners out, etc. A saving grace is that despite our HCOL area (NYC), we bought early and have exceptionally low housing costs.
Alternatively, we have so much equity in our house that I think we could sell it and move somewhere less expensive (somewhere very rural appeals to us both), and essentially live off of that money. A lot of the reasons we loved city life (going out, nice restaurants, etc) suddenly seem less relevant now that we have a baby. We just want to stay in and admire her – and we could be doing that anywhere.
FWIW, my job is pretty much ideal in terms of being a working mom. Very flexible, family friendly, well-paid, low stress. So finding a lower key job isn’t an answer. Just, paying someone 2k a month to watch my baby all day so I can afford to shop at Whole Foods is starting to sound less appealing. (And p.s. mad respect to all of you who are working — this is such a personal choice).
I guess I’m looking for any stories/articles/blogs around these topics, especially from a financial perspective. Anybody happen to quit their urban banking job and become a homesteader upstate?
rosie says
Hugs, thinking about going back to work while you’re on mat leave can be really hard. Stuff that you’ve probably already considered, but I’ll just throw out there: possibility of part-time work at current job? Possibility of extending your mat leave w/unpaid time?
The main reason I wanted to reply–I don’t really have any answers to these tough questions–is to mention that as someone who lives in a city with an eye towards moving more rural (like, pick up and go, not move to a suburb), I am really liking city life more with a toddler. It’s great to be able to put her in the stroller & wander–pick up groceries, visit one of the many playgrounds near us, stop in at a kid-friendly coffee shop, etc. Whenever we travel somewhere that requires getting into the car for any of these activities, it really makes me appreciate what we have in our area.
Anonymous says
Don’t do this. It’s rash and foolhardy. Don’t cut way back on retirement and college savings. Don’t quit a good job without even trying being a working mom. Don’t assume you’ll suddenly be able to change your spending habits this dramatically. Don’t underestimate the value of keeping your current community and routines as you adjust to a baby. Do ask your doctor to get screened for post Partum anxiety.
Look, if you want to go live an ultra frugal life in a yurt you absolutely can. Large swathes of the Internet will help you. But make sure you actually want that! Quitting your job is always an option. Go back. Give it several months. See how it goes. Start practicing those spending changes now. What you can’t do is quit rashly and think you’re going to find a job this good again.
Anon says
Agreed. And I say this as someone who is probably quitting soon to stay home. But I went back to work and tried to make it work.
Cb says
I don’t think you should make any major changes for the first year after having a baby. Go back to work and see how you feel in 3 months, 6 months, 12 months. If you still want to quit, spend the next 6 months living on your shoestring budget and stockpile that money.
Anonymous says
This is really great advice, and I agree.
ElisaR says
+1
anon says
+1 This is the advice I give all new moms who work.
Spirograph says
I agree. Also, you’re right that a lot of things you love about living in a city will be N/A for a while with a baby, but babies grow up. Cities are really fun with preschoolers! Not that rural areas aren’t, just saying there will come a day when you can enjoy city amenities with your kid, and also be comfortable leaving her with a babysitter and enjoying them with your spouse again.
Anecdote: A friend of mine quit her high-earning big city job and moved to a rural area a few months after returning to work from her first maternity leave. It did not live up to her expectations in a lot of ways, and she ended up returning to a smaller city and reentering the workforce.
Anon says
Yes. I had my first kid while living in a rural area, in upstate NY no less! It was great for newborns, but got old pretty quickly once she hit 18 months. At that point, it was not so much fun to spend all day trapped in our house; but winters were cold enough that we couldn’t play outside for more than 15 minutes at a time, and it was a 15 minute drive to the nearest semi-public indoor spaces, which were a grocery store, a small public library, and one restaurant. 45 minutes to the small city with the children’s museum, indoor pool, and coffee shops. We moved when my kid was 3, and I am so glad! Now she has friends in walking distance and, more importantly, so do I! We can walk to several kid-friendly cafes and restaurants, and we are a 15 minute drive from all the standard city amenities, including children’s museum, the YMCA, two “real” museums, many libraries, etc.
Anon says
I heard this advice a lot after I had my first, and I understand it but I also hate it. I don’t think it’s practical to avoid all major decisions within a year of your child’s birth, especially if you have multiple children. Also, if what OP wants is to be at home when her child is an infant, she only has this opportunity to do that – – she doesn’t have a year to wait.
I think if someone asked if they should take a promotion or amazing job opportunity six months after having a child, many people here would say to go for it. So when people say “don’t make any major life changes”, it’s hard for me to take that seriously.
Anonymous says
I think the advice is better stated as don’t make any major decisions in the first year as a consequence of having had the child that you weren’t planning pre-child. That doesn’t address wanting to be home with an infant, necessarily, but it does cover decisions that come from being so overwhelmed (and possibly with depression or anxiety) by parenting that tend to get a little better with time.
Anon says
Is this your first? I ask because after my first I wanted to do the same. But being home with a newborn is a lot different (easier, imho) than taking care of a toddler. I told myself I’d go back for 6 months and I’m glad I did and ended up staying. You said your job is good for working moms – maybe give it a try for a few months before making a drastic change.
Anonymous says
Yup. I had similar feelings with kid1. I am now on baby 3 who is 8 months and I’ve been working part time for the past 4 years in a way I’d never thought possible when I had my first.
Most of the moms I know who stepped completely out of the workforce are now looking for things to do/a way back in because they’ve been home for 4-7 years and are no longer loving it full time.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with this and with everyone else here saying give it a few months. I would love to have a few more months with my baby #2 while he’s a newborn/immobile but I am so so happy I don’t have to stay home with my toddler! They change so quickly and you may find that staying home with her as she gets older is not that ideal. Don’t give up your great job yet!
And giving up retirement savings requires some serious consideration. How will you feel if you have to rely on your daughter and possible future kids when you don’t have enough saved? And again, not to be a total downer, but really consider what you will do if you get divorced, your husband loses his job, gets disabled, etc. No one thinks it will happen to them, but you need to consider back-ups.
Anonymous says
YES YES I desperately wanted to stay home after baby 1. Wasn’t an option financially. Now after kid 2 I cannot imagine being home. Being home with one baby to small toddler can even be relaxing. being home with one 3.5 year old and one baby is NOT FOR ME. This is only my third week back from mat leave and I was so excited for it to be Monday. But I feel you. I was miserable for a good 16 months. For me part of the answer was switching jobs, but part of it was also the kid getting older and able to do things like crack jokes and tell you about his day, while also doing things like drawing on the walls if he doesn’t get enough attention.
anon says
The first thing that comes to mind for me is to as yourself what you want longer term. It’s not easy to find such an awesome job. I’d worry about losing the good deal you already have.
For me, I would have love love loved to stay home with my kids when they were babies and young toddlers. Once they were a bit bigger and had more agency, I loved that work gave me a break from the tantrums and demands. I like having non-kid things to think about. I like having colleagues. I like being on the same schedule as other working moms. I don’t think I would have been good at being a SAHM to preschoolers.
In those early baby days, especially with my first, I would have given anything to stay home. Now with a 5 and 2 yo I’m really glad that I didn’t.
HSAL says
It’s very sweet that you just want to stay in and admire her, but you truly will get tired of that someday. I was a person who was itching to go back to work just to eat things with two hands and go to the bathroom whenever I felt like it.
Don’t quit now. Go back to work for at least six months, preferably a year. Spend that time living on your husband’s salary and see if it’s actually realistic to make that change. You can always quit later, but you can’t un-quit.
GCA says
I agree with everyone that you shouldn’t make any major, sudden, unplanned changes till after the first year and after you go back to work.
It’s totally a personal decision, and may be the right one for some people. Read that Frugalwoods blog. (With the caveat that one never hears from bloggers who are unhappy with their choices.) But the baby shouldn’t be the only deciding factor, because the baby will not stay a baby for long. What do you want your life to look like in ten years when you have a ten-year-old? In 20 years when that child is out of the home? Would you homeschool, or use the public school system? Do your hobbies already look like homesteading, or do you have fantasies of taking up baking and dressmaking? (For instance, I enjoy real-plants gardening, spending all day on loaves of bread or making my own grape jelly, but I also appreciate being able to walk down the street to our local place for sushi and drop in to the science museum any weekend we please.) Don’t design a semipermanent living situation around a very transient phase of life.
CPA Lady says
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice, but I’m going to address the “go live somewhere very rural” piece, since that’s something I have about 20 years of experience with.
It sounds like you have this fantasy idea about how your life would be easy and perfect if you could just move to the woods and have some kind of pinterest perfect blog life doing rural stuff. Have you ever lived somewhere super rural before? Its very very difficult.
It is hard to imagine what your life will be like when your kid is a toddler and older, so here are some things to consider about the rural lifestyle…
– being far from a hospital/doctors — difficult if anyone in your family develops some kind of medical problem or needs to see a specialist
– being far from stores — this doesn’t sound bad, but it’s actually a massive hassle to have to drive 45 minutes each way “to town” to get something.
– limited store options (are you okay getting your groceries at walmart?)
– no one for your kid to play with
– limited after school activities
– varied school quality
– more conservative political viewpoints
– less diversity
– no good restaurants
– extremely limited activities for your child– children’s museums, parks, playgrounds, zoo, aquarium, etc. These things have been lifesavers with a young child, and they are not typically available in rural areas. It’s beyond hassle level to drive a toddler an hour to go to an activity.
– hard to make friends, most people there typically have lived there their whole lives and don’t need new friends
– everyone knows everyone and their business/you can’t be anonymous (also, if you do go through with this, take my advice and never talk bad about someone because that’s not going to end well for you)
– limited adult socialization opportunities (not sure how it is in rural upstate NY, but in the rural south basically the only option is church)
I don’t know what you mean by “very rural” (like you mean moving to a town of 200 vs. 10,000 vs. 100,000) but I’d strongly caution you away from living in a rural area unless you’re okay with isolation and extremely limited options. Or if you’ve both done it before and have a good idea of what you’re getting into.
mascot says
+1 on this. You should approach rural with eyes wide open. Choices really are limited sometimes and not in ways that can be fixed by applying money or overnight delivery.
CPA Lady says
Oh, and usually the internet options are complete garbage, expensive, and unbelievably slow. OR NOT AVAILABLE AT ALL. In the year 2019. Like you can’t get internet at your house in some rural areas.
I forgot that completely major thing.
Redux says
I moved to rural upstate NY from Boston and co-sign this so hard. ALL OF THIS.
Anonymous says
This is such a good list.
–lives in a town of 23,000 in the Midwest for my husband’s job
Anonymous says
Living in a city of 1M down from a bigger city. Co-sign the list and everyone telling you to wait. 1. Don’t do this to your kid – kids don’t get ahead bring from bumfuck (my 1M city is seriously limited). 2. Ending maternity is hard and post part hormones are no joke. Wait a year. For now, focus on finding great care and see your child thrive in developing additional attachments.
anon says
Having grown up in a rural area, I agree with all of this. Growing up in a rural area was really wonderful in a lot of ways — except the lack of social options, which became a real problem over time. Even though I sometimes have fantasies about going back (it’s so peaceful, and I’m a homebody), that lifestyle as an adult is freaking hard. This isn’t even touching the amount of work involved in taking care of a home with lots of land. My parents still live in the country, and it takes them 1.5 days to mow their lawn. Day one is for the house yard; day two is all the grass around the sheds and other structures. The upkeep is immense.
Anonymous says
My in-laws live in a very rural area, so we spend holidays there. It is so incredibly different than city life in ways I wouldn’t have thought of. One addition to this list is the lack of choice. There will be ONE library, ONE school, ONE grocery store, ONE pharmacy, ONE church, etc. For this reason costs were sometimes higher than I would expect due to lack of competition, and service is so-so. For something like church or library, you can’t drive 10min or ride two stops on the train to a different one if the kids’ program is not to your liking. That’s all fine if you’re totally happy with the offerings, but with children I’ve really enjoyed living in a populated area where I have a lot of choices.
And don’t underestimate how much you’ll use instacart/prime now/etc with kids. Total lifesaver many times, and you don’t have that out in the middle of nowhere.
Anon. says
In my experience growing up in a very rural area, this is all true except that there will be 4 churchs which share 99.5% of the same theological values but are VERY hung up about that 0.5% difference. Geography matters on this one, but there will not be any other religious congregations and finding individuals who have a different faith (or no faith) will be very difficult.
-signed literally had never met a Jew (to my knowledge) until I went to college
Anonymous says
I have to admit I was speaking as a Catholic, and there’s only one Catholic church in in-laws town (the next closest one is 45 min away). Where I live, you can pretty much pick whatever mass times or sunday school times work for you in a 15 minute drive radius because there are so many churches. In their tiny town it would drive me nuts to be stuck with that one church which I can’t stand (and to be tied to that schedule).
Em says
+1 my sister lives in a rural town 1 1/2 hours from the small city where I live. We considered moving there at one point and realized housing prices average about $20k more there than in our current city due to the lack of homes in the mid-price range. Also, there are no kid activities, the schools are terrible, everyone knows everyone’s business, and decent restaurants never survive because people aren’t willing to pay to go out to eat.
Small Firm IP Litigator says
Co-signing all of this. I grew up in rural America (town of less than 1k people, 30 min from a town of about 10k people). I generally just sucked really hard. Life is just harder and less convenient. My father had to drive me long distances for everything, and when I learned to drive I had to do that too.
I helped tend to our home a lot because I grew up with a single dad, and it is not easy to find simple services like plumbers, etc. There is typically one provider, and they will have limited availability and/or jack up prices. And good luck finding help with the tremendous amount of upkeep – gardening services, etc. may not even be a thing there.
Schools tend to be terrible and underfunded – my high school ran out of basic supplies on the regular, didn’t have sufficient heat in the winter, and less than 10% of kids went on to college. The only private schools were religious schools.
I cannot imagine being an adult there. There is no social life unless you belong to a church. I LOLed at the post about the four churches that are actually the same. My town had NINE protestant churches for less than a thousand people. And the adults (and some of the teens) would really only socialize with people from their church, and would talk nasty about people from the others. We’re Puerto Rican and culturally Catholic, so you can imagine how fun that was.
There were zero places to go to eat that were any good. And the selection in grocery stores is weak, and the produce is old and bad.
And on that point, people are incredibly conservative and overwhelmingly white. I have nothing at all against white people, but I wouldn’t recommend being a person of color in these communities. It also isn’t great to be a white person with liberal viewpoints, particularly if you make them known. It also isn’t the same for women. Women could not really belong to service organizations like the Rotary club in my community because they were women – there was some sort of associated organization, and all the women did was make food for the men for meetings and do stuff like photocopying. I applied for a scholarship with some different local organizations and my applications were returned to me because the scholarships were not for my lady education.
It isn’t like most rural places are some idyllic place. My town was run-down and economically depressed. NYC is a beautiful place, as are many cities.
Betty says
I echo the advice above (give it a shot at your current gig), but will add my own story, which is a bit of a middle ground: When my oldest was born, I was in biglaw in Boston. He turned my world upside down in the most wonderful way, and suddenly the appeal of the city wasn’t as grand or as practical. I went back to work with an attempt to make it work for a while. I lasted 9 months, so my oldest was 15/16 months when I left biglaw. We sold our downtown condo and moved 3 hours out of the Boston to a small New England town, that is 30 minutes from the “major” hub of the state. I returned to my pre-biglaw job for a few years, had our second child, and we now have a small farm, I work in house for a corporation. I do not for one moment regret the major changes that we undertook after our son was born. BUT, even with moving to a “rural” area, we still require routine healthcare, special doctors, food (on a special diet due to Celiac’s and Crohn’s), childcare, etc. It is less expensive than downtown Boston, but our lives are not inexpensive. In addition, I was totally one who wanted to spend all my time gazing adoringly at my son when he was tiny. And I adore both of my children. While I sobbed going back to work when my son was six months old, when I went back to work after two months off with him between biglaw and my next gig, I was so ready to go. Toddlers and preschoolers are very different from newborns, and I was ready and needed my job.
Anon says
I went back to work a couple months ago after having my first. I was really scared and didn’t want to leave him at first, but now things are 100% different and I’m glad I’m still working.
That said, you are probably getting a skewed view from this comment section since pretty much everyone here has made the decision to continue working. There are certainly people out there who have made different decisions and are very happy with their choices too. It’s just a matter of figuring out what’s right for you.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s a skewed view to warn OP not to make any sweeping and potentially irreversible life changes immediately after having a baby. The conventional wisdom is that one shouldn’t make any major decisions within a year after a major life transition.
Anon says
This site is primarily working moms. So I think people who are happily staying at home probably aren’t represented here. It didn’t mean they don’t exist.
I’m not saying the view here is the wrong view, but it is a one-sided picture.
IHeartBacon says
I have to agree that the perspective here is skewed given that the target audience is corporate moms. That’s not a bad thing. It just is what it is. The same would be true if the OP was asking the readers of a SAHM blog. I don’t think the commenter meant “skewed” in a bad way.
To the OP, someone on this blog gave me two pieces of advice that really stuck with me when I got to the end of my maternity leave and was contemplating the same things you are. First, when I got to the end of my maternity leave,I wanted to take one more month off, but I was afraid to ask for it. Someone here said that my employer would rather give me 4 more weeks and have me come back happy than to say no and risk losing a good employee. I asked for the extra month and my employer didn’t event bat an eye. That extra month made all the difference for me.
The second piece of advice that really really struck a chord was that I knew what it was like to work without having kids, I knew what it was like staying home with a kid, but I didn’t yet know what it was like to work with kids. Going back to work after leave was the only way to know how I would actually feel about it. And only when I truly understood the three options could I then make an informed decision.
Best wishes, OP, and keep us posted!
Anon says
This is such good advice. I’m surprised how much I like being a working mom – I was really happy during my maternity leave, but I’m still happy being back at work. Turns out my new-found happiness was largely due to being a parent (after years of infertility – so add the relief of no longer going through IVF, etc.) rather than being off work. If I hadn’t gone back to work, I never would have realized how I really felt about being a working mom.
Anonymous says
I also love being a working mom. Sometimes I feel almost guilty that I love my life so much – my SAH friends are constantly complaining about never getting a minute to themselves or wearing dirty yoga pants 24/7, and I get to travel, attend important meetings, do meaningful work, etc. And I also don’t feel that awful about leaving my kid all day like some working moms do – I know he has fun with his little buddies, and I love the routine of pickup, dinner, play time and bed. It gives me so much to look forward to at the end of the day!
Anonymous says
While 20 weeks is generous in the US – it seems so short to me (Canada). I would have really struggled leaving my little one at that age (and we were having MAJOR sleep issues then too), but by the time 8 months rolled around I was ready to go back. I would highly recommend taking some extra unpaid time if they will let you.
What also helped me is that I went back for 2 months at 3 days per week. Since you said banking, I would position it as temporary, and be prepared that you will be working outside of your three days essentially for free; however, it helped me with the transition so much.
Anonymous says
Canadian also and definitely agree. Can you ask to take another 2-3 months unpaid?
SC says
You’ve gotten good advice, and I agree with going back to work and seeing how it goes for a year. I have some comments from the perspective of a one-income family. I spent 6 months unemployed (different than being a SAHM by choice, I know). I now earn over 90% of the income in our family, and my husband stays home/works part-time for a variable, low income.
– My company provides health insurance for me, but we can’t afford to put my husband and son on my plan, so they get individual insurance on the marketplace. It’s still expensive, the coverage isn’t that great, and we spend about $1200 a month on premiums and out of pocket costs.
– There is obviously pressure on me to stay employed. I’d be even more concerned if I lived in a rural area, unless my telework was extremely common in my industry.
– Really consider the lifestyle choices you’d have to make long-term to go down to one (lower) income. When you have paid maternity leave or you’ve saved for maternity leave, you can keep your housekeeper, keep shopping for organic foods at Whole Foods, keep ordering takeout, keep the lawn service. If you’re cutting your budget way back permanently, you commit to doing a lot more work yourselves. I have a (low) 6-figure income in a MCOL city (about the 75th percentile for our area), and DH and I have been cleaning our own home, cooking most of our own food, taking care of our own lawn, doing many of our own home repairs, washing our own cars, etc for 2.5 years. If you’re the person staying home and doing most of this work, it’s as tiring as a paid job, but in a different way. (On the other hand, DH and I seem to have much more time to relax in the evenings and have fun on weekends because DH does a lot of household stuff during the week. We still do work on the weekends, but we’re able to address larger projects and don’t feel like we’re “just” surviving.)
– From the perspective of the person staying home, long-term it can be very difficult. I had a 3-month maternity leave and struggled with going back to work afterwards. I lost my job a year after I returned to work, and 6 months at home with a young toddler was MUCH harder. Part of it was the age and disposition of my child. Part of it was isolation–I had a lot more support and visits from family and friends during maternity leave with an infant than during unemployment with a toddler. Part of it was the physical work and busy-ness associated with our lower budget.
Anonymous says
I’m a former career lady now SAHM. I actually followed the advice of everyone on this site to give it 6 months – a year of being back to work to decide if I REALLY wanted to stay home or if it was just hormones/new baby love. The difference is my husband still works downtown in a major city and we live in the suburbs, not a rural area. I grew up in a rural area and loved it (not 45 mins from grocery store rural but still rural). BUT I find at least being in the suburbs of a major city is essential to my life as a SAHM. There are plentiful Mom groups, it was so easy to join a playgroup, and there are dozens of FREE activities to do with my child (library, nature centers, open gym, etc…). There would be little to none of these in a rural area and I frankly don’t know how I would make mom friends there other than church. And these activities are as good for me and my mental health as they are for my child.
The money thing is a real issue – we never go to a sit down restaurant and take out is only once a week. I don’t get coffee out, ever. I don’t buy new clothes unless something has a hole in it. My daughters clothes are hand me down or consignment. We still save for college and retirement, but not as much “nest egg” saving, which is ok cause we already bought our house. I meal plan 2 weeks at a time. But not having to spend money on any of my daughters activities helps a ton.
It’s a big decision and the right one for some people, but I’d be realistic!
anon says
gently, if you are only halfway through a 20 week maternity leave that means you are 10 weeks postpartum. my maternity leave was 14 weeks, but i could not have imagined going back at halfway through my maternity leave. you might feel very differently 10 weeks from now. i have an 8 month old, so not too long ago i was in your shoes. do consider talking to your doctor about PPA/PPD if you are feeling super anxious all the time. the adjustment to motherhood has been MUCH harder for me than i ever anticipated. i’m now on medication and therapy and doing much better.
EB0220 says
I occasionally entertain fantasies about moving somewhere rural until I remember the year we lived 25 minutes away from Target. The horror! Never again. Also the Frugal Woods blog is a great antidote to the rural fantasy. They left Boston for a homestead in VT and it’s gorgeous but DANG also a ton of work.
Anon2 says
As a counterpoint, living far from a Target is a great way to save money as a SAHM ;) Learned through experience…
Anonymous says
Most people who live in NYC are at least 25 minutes from Target, so OP may already be living this struggle.
Anonymous says
Haven’t been to a Target in years. Hate big box stores. It’s an addiction – they aren’t actually nice. Thank god for Amazon or I might have to go to big box stores and let hours of my life slip through my fingers.
Anonymous says
It’s so late, but just in case…
I was a mid level biglaw associte on the partnership track. Quit after my first was born. She is now almost four and we also have a one and a half year old. I don’t regret it for a second. Literally one second. It cut our income by more than 1/3 but we make it work.
I think a lot of this comes down to personality and the “mommy network.” I have friends who quit and are miserable. I personally love the full time parenting (although holy moly it’s rough sometimes). And I have fully embraced the mommy groups. If I didn’t have a solid group of friends with similarly aged children I would be a disaster.
But I have friends who miss having an identity separate from being “just a mom.” Bc that’s a big deal. I struggle with that regularly. But I think it’s worth the tradeoff. Others don’t. It’s all about what is right for you.
Best of luck!!!
Redux says
For those of you who work modified schedules: will you come in to the office on your “off” time to attend work-sanctioned social events?
I do not work on Fridays but our staff appreciation lunch is this Friday. I’m debating whether to come in. On the one hand, I think it’s important to have face time with my colleagues, especially since I don’t see many of them except at these events. On the other hand, I have a modified schedule in part because I live almost an hour away. Plus we’ve been out of town for three weeks, my in-laws are coming into town this weekend which I need to prepare for, and I really need to plan my kid’s birthday party and our upcoming February trip. So, I would come for lunch only, not to work the full day (which my colleagues might think is obnoxious– oh she can’t come to work on Fridays but she makes it in for lunch?)
Thoughts?
Anonymous says
I was going to say attend until I saw the note about the hour commute. Can you arrange to switch work days? Like you normally work Wed/Th am but will now work all day on Friday and schedule some in person meetings to make best use of the time.
I probably wouldn’t drive an hour each way for the social event unless it was like an annual or biannual event.
GCA says
I would come in, but try and shift schedules to work at least a half day Friday if you can to make that commute worth it.
Anonymous says
I do if it is something I genuinely enjoy and I can swing it in my schedule. Last month I made a point to attend my office’s Christmas luncheon. It was on a day that I don’t typically go into the office, but I genuinely enjoy it and my schedule allowed for it. In 2017, I didn’t make it.
Anon says
Generally no unless it is something super critical. In 2 years, one time has it been super critical.
IHeartBacon says
Your post did not indicate whether you are a member of the staff. If you are a member of the staff, then I would skip the lunch. If you’re not, then I would attend the lunch. I’m not sure how often your office does staff-appreciation events, but if it’s only once a year, this will be the only work-sanctioned event. If any of your colleagues make obnoxious comments to you about it, just have a one-liner ready in response. Something like, “I would rather be at home since it’s my day off, but it’s important to me to show the staff how much I appreciate them. ”
I second the recommendation to see if you can swap out one of your regular work days this week to make the commute worth it.
Kids’ podcasts or audiobooks? says
Is three years old too young? And if not, any recommendations for long car rides?
anon says
So kid dependent. My 5 yo won’t listen to audiobooks yet.
Anonymous says
Yup. My 5 y/o was listening to audiobooks at 2.5. My 3.5 year old still isn’t into them at all (or TV shows).
anonymous says
My daughter will be three in a few weeks. We tried several podcasts, but they could not quite hold her attention yet. I plan to try again in a few months – Circle Round seemed like a really great one to try. We have found success with the Frog and Toad audiobooks, however, which are narrated by the author. The Frog and Toad audio collection is an hour and a half of Frog and Toad stories, and we have listened to it several times over at this point. Good luck!
anonymous says
Also, I recommend everydayreading.com as a good resource – the blogger has daughters who listen to audiobooks and she gives lots of recommendations for audiobooks for younger listeners.
Redux says
At 3 we did audiobooks that were accompanied by a picture book for following along. You know, the kind that beeps when it’s time to turn the page. That gives your little one something to look at/ engage with and better understand the words.
My oldest is now 5 and we just started true audio-only books. Our first was a story she already knows– we listened to James and the Giant Peach shortly after reading the book aloud. We pick up others from our public library.
Another idea might be a soundtrack to a movie she likes. The Moana soundtrack is an hour (ask me how I know).
Anonymous says
I grew up listening to Leonard Bernstein conducting & narrating Peter and the Wolf and Carnival of the Animals, so I bought the CD for my kids to listen to on long car trips too. My 3 year old loves it. It’s a good break from Disney soundtracks. My kids are very happy to just flip through and look at picture books without any audio, too. And we have tablets loaded with kid shows and movies to intersperse for really long trips.
Anonymous OP says
Thanks, all!
Very anon says
Does your firm handle maternity leave differently for partners (compared with associates, staff, etc)? I’m in a regional midsize firm that I’m fairly confident has never encountered this issue (very few women in the firm; women partners with kids have all been laterals). I know some firms treat it differently but wanting to get an idea of what the norm is.
Anonymous says
Yes of course. Partners aren’t employees. They often aren’t entitled to the same protected leave. At my firm it’s usually an individual negotiation about what your targets will be for the year and how much of a loss you’ll take in your share in profits.
Anon says
I don’t think this is necessary an “of course” trying. At my regional midsize firm they are the handled essentially the same way.
Anon says
Sorry, there are so many typos in my first sentence that it makes no sense at all — ignore me. Ohhh Mondays.
Anonymous says
At my regional, mid-sized firm they are essentially treated the same way (i.e., the standard protocol is 12-weeks of leave), that said, Anon at 11:07 is right – partners aren’t employees, so it’s a little different thing. The 12-weeks is way more flexible (I took more – technically 17 weeks out of the office – but I billed about 20 hours a week starting when baby was just a few days old the entire time I was out, and even attended two mediations out of town while I was technically on “leave”).
Anonymous says
Firm of about 35 attorneys in a good-sized Midwest city. Partners are treated differently at my firm. Leave for them consists of not being charged overhead. They get about half the reduction in overhead of staff/associates. My firm tends toward an ‘eat what you kill’ model. So partners take care of themselves, and it is assumed that you’ll budget for your parental leave beyond that reduction accordingly. Not saying it is right or wrong, just what it is.
Amelia Bedelia says
Mid-law boutique that tries to pretend it is “biglaw”
our associates get full paid 16 weeks with option to use 4wks of vacation with practice head approval. then given “ramp up” time the first 4 wks back. time off before baby born doesn’t count leave, counts as sick leave (which is unlimited). pro rated hours target for bonus purposes (full pro rate for 16 weeks and 50% for ramp up time. nothing for vacation).
for partners, get 12 wks no charge of overhead. that’s it.
Anonymous says
Your firm gives attorneys actual sick and vacation time? Can you please explain how this works as it relates to a billable hours goal? Thanks!
Anon says
At least at my firm, with “unlimited” vacation and I’m pretty sure unlimited sick leave, it just means get your hours in on the days you’re not on vacation or sick.
12:42 Anon says
Same.
Amelia Bedelia says
we get 4wks in that our policy says associates take “up to” 4 wks based on schedule and need. but it isn’t guaranteed or paid out or anything. and, honestly, if you took 5wks but still got your hours in, no one would care. no one tracks it except for maternity/paternity purposes.
we have unlimited sick leave in that you need to get your work done, but don’t come in if you are sick.
it sounds good on paper, but is actually a bit annoying.
essentially, we just have a billing requirement. 1800. be an adult and get your work done.
Anon Laywer says
I just went through putting a policy in place at my firm. Smaller end of mid-size firm in DC. I checked in with a couple of competitors – one has short term disability insurance plus leave based on how long you’ve been at the firm, up to five weeks. The other relied on individuals to negotiate it – the person I talked to negotiated about 12 weeks with compensation. My firm didn’t have any kind of policy in place but granted partners 3 weeks of sick leave a year that you can carry over to 6 weeks.
At my urging, we signed up for short-term disability insurance, which should cover 6 weeks for a vaginal birth, and we’ll get an additional 3 weeks of paid leave on top of that. Non-gestational parents get the 3 weeks too.
HM says
Considering a second child, but I had a precipitous labor (lasting less than three hours from the first contraction to delivery). I am worried about what labor/delivery might look like for me in the future. Has anyone else experienced this?
EB0220 says
My second was precipitous. Are you worried about the logistics or just the experience (pain,etc) of having a precipitous labor again?
HM says
Thanks so much for your response. I’m worried about both. Since your first labor is typically your slowest, I’m worried about how fast I might deliver a second. With DS, my water broke spontaneously at home before I felt contractions at all and I immediately had strong, intense contractions right on top of each other. I barely made it to the hospital in time, didn’t have time for any kind of pain relief, and basically felt completely out of control. So, I’m apprehensive about the experience again, but also wondering about the logistics from someone who has experienced it more than once. For example, did the doctor recommend bed rest in the third trimester, induction, etc., and what was the experience like?
EB0220 says
Ah gotcha! My precipitous labor was with my 2nd kid and I’m not having a third so I’m not sure what the recommendations would be. But I can definitely commiserate with the feeling of it being totally out of control.
HM says
Thanks. It’s nice to hear from someone who gets it. It drives me nuts when people tell me “wow, you’re so lucky!” Like, eh….not really.
Anonymous says
My labor wasn’t textbook definition of precipitous, so this may not be super helpful. For all three kids, labor was about 4 hours, and I delivered <30 min after arriving at the hospital for the first. The second and third time around, my OBs just advised me to go to the hospital as soon as I felt contractions. No bed rest, because the idea wasn't to delay labor, but to get to the hospital before the baby came. I live 10 min from the hospital, so it was just a matter of leaving immediately rather than waiting for contractions a minute apart or whatever. Knowing what I was in for made a big difference. Labor is never going to be a fun experience, but it wasn't as scary the second time because fast progression wasn't a surprise.
Counterpoint, a colleague had precipitous labor with her first and her OB (this was ~15 years ago) induced at 39 weeks to avoid a potential situation where she would not have made it to the hospital.
If your labor experience is part of your decision whether to have a 2nd child, I would schedule a consult with your OB and ask how he/she handles a history of precipitous labor.
HM says
I actually did the consult with my OB- they suggested induction. They said with a history of precipitous labor, they probably would induce just by breaking the water and that would likely do the trick. It is really helpful to hear what other people experienced, and also to hear you say that the second time wasn’t as scary because you knew what you were in for. Thanks!
Anonymous says
My labor with my first was not quite precipitous, lasting maybe 7 hours total, but accelerating quickly at the end and giving birth less than an hour after arriving at the hospital, with no time for pain relief. My second time around, all the doctors at my practice were very much on top of that and asked me to come in or call if I had any contractions. I was worried since I am in NYC and traffic is always a concern to get to the hospital. At 38 weeks I was in the hospital for fetal heart concerns that turned out to be nothing and the doc offered to induce me anyways just so I wouldn’t have to worry about making to the hospital. I declined and baby was born about a week later. Total
Labor time was about 4 hours, the first two were mild contractions after which I headed to the hospital (20 min drive with no traffic), arrived 4 cm dilated, and gave birth an hour after that.
Anonymous says
If it was an otherwise healthy pregnancy and you made it to term, I’d just talk induction around 39 weeks. For my 3rd I had an induction scheduled at 40 weeks exactly because I was sweaty, fat, has 2 other kids to plan around and a prior history of 2 babies going to 42 weeks and needing inducing anyhow.
(Spoiler: Baby kept me on my toes and came at 39+5, fast but most “textbook” labor- just like in fast forward!).
But after 39 weeks they’ll induce; after 38 weeks with medical reason they’ll induce. Sounds like you might be a candidate for either.
Anon says
Is anyone else having the January Blues? I’m finding it very difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I need to get back to exercising, etc. Wondering if anyone has any tips to jump out of bed in the morning – FWIW we live in New England.
Thanks!
Anonymous says
Program the coffemaker to have your coffee ready when your alarm goes off. That is the only thing that gets me out of bed for 5:30 a.m. workouts.
SC says
Have a 3.5 yo who is a morning person and wakes you up promptly each day with “It’s wake up time. The sun is up. Get up. Now! Mommy, Daddy, Wake UP! I’m hungry. Can I watch something? I need milk.” Mine will even pull your hand and try to drag you out of bed if you don’t get up right away. You can borrow him for a few days :-)
Not what you were looking for?
GCA says
SC – what were you doing in my house at 6am?!
Yesterday the 5mo decided she wanted to nurse nonstop (growth spurt?) and woke up at 10.30pm to eat. (Early for her, but not unexpected because she seemed more hungry than usual.) The 3.5yo…he was up twice before midnight, I found him in our bed at 4am, and then he was up for the day at 6. Never change, kiddo. Never change.
Nail Polish for Preschoolers says
My three year old is suddenly into painting her nails. We’re going out to buy some pink and glitter nail polishes tonight. I live in a rural area, so Walmart is my only option (note the living rural conversation above). Recommendations for a fast-drying nail polish brand?
rakma says
Sally Hanson Insta-Dry has been our go-to.
Emily S. says
Piggy Polish. It dries quickly, flakes off easily (so no scary acetone on kids’ nails). The tagline is “as natural as mud.” I just let my 3yo daughter use it. (I ordered mine from Target, but I think it’s also available at Walmart.)
ElisaR says
i bought my 2.5 year old “zoya” brand at ulta. it’s free of some of the nasty chemicals (marketed as “natural”) which was important to me because fingers in the mouth alllllll the time and all that business.
Very anon says
Question about gardening later in pregnancy… I am about to enter third tri and have no interest and feel huge and just like I want to rest when I’m in bed! Did anyone else have this issue? And how late into pregnancy did you garden? The euphemism of course. I know I won’t be interested for a time after so I feel like there’s some pressure here! Also my DH and I don’t tend to engage in other activities, so gardening or not gardening is even more fraught…
Anonanonanon says
I did no gardening in third tri my last trimester. I was huge, swollen (major edema), I got the flu at one point in there, I had a chronic GI issue that was flaring… just no. We survived it. I think he was too concerned that my toes were going to pop off of my swollen feet to even want to garden
Anonymous says
It is rumored to help start labor, and in hindsight I wish I had done it more for that reason at the very end. I certainly didn’t want to, and I don’t think he did much either. We did one time about a week after my due date, and it did seem to start contractions a bit, but they petered out. (ahem) I was ultimately induced at 42 weeks.
Anonymous says
maybe up till 38 weeks, kind of side lying? DH was sort of just glad and surprised it happened at all; there was no pressure at all given that I was huge and uncomfortable, but I was moderately interested
Anonymous says
I think it’s normal to not want to (also normal to want to!). I’d just have a conversation about it however uncomfortable it may be so DH isn’t blindsided. Honestly my DH was a little psychologically freaked out by my big belly at the end and then so sleep – deprives after the baby came that his interest waned. I was all for gardening but had to Self-Garden the last few weeks.
NYCer says
32 weeks currently and still doing it regularly. Both of us are still very interested, so it works for us. That being said, if you aren’t in the mood, don’t force it – just have a convo with your hubby!
ElisaR says
totally normal i had no interest and a year later still have no interest….. oof. Pretty sure gardening made my water break at 37 weeks though–happened same day and we were not doing it often.
Anon says
We barely gardened during pregnancy.. a bit during the second tri but not regularly. I was nauseous during first tri and uncomfortable and freaked out by the baby’s visible movements during third tri. But post-baby gardening has been good! It was uncomfortable for a bit but it’s been enjoyable and pretty regular since about 3 months post-birth. And I had pretty significant tearing when I delivered. So it may not be as bad as you fear!
I do think it’s helfpul for jump-starting labor. I had to be induced at 41 weeks. BFF gardened regularly in late pregnancy and went into labor naturally at 38 weeks.
Anonymous says
Over the weekend, my 3 year old boy decided he is ready! for! undies! This came a bit out of nowhere, so I haven’t done all my potty training research. We’ve just been winging it so far, and I will do some more reading, but in the meantime, a question: He is excited to wear his “undies” which his grandmother gave him several months ago. We agreed to let him try them, and have been putting him on the potty every 20 minutes or so while he has them on. He doesn’t really seem to “get” it and will happily sit on the potty for a while, sometimes going #1, sometimes not, sometimes have an accident right after getting off the potty. It seems like pullups are where we should be right now, but I think his excitement is over the undies, not the potty, if that makes sense. Should we roll with the undies? Try to switch to pullups? Help a rookie mom out.
rakma says
We had a period of undies over pullups (and also pull-ups over undies–it was a process) when trying to get DD potty trained.
Training pants were also great for learning about when she needed to go, because she could feel the wetness better than with the pullups.
AwayEmily says
Lots of different approaches to this. My family took the approach detailed in the jamie glowacki “oh crap” book, which is very anti-undies and anti-pullup (because they feel too much like diapers). Basically you let them run around naked for a weekend and move them to the potty every time they start to pee, until they finally make the connection. It worked great for us but I have no delusions that it is the Only Way — I know plenty of families who successfully took other approaches. Maybe skim the oh crap method (there’s a good summary on lucies list) and see if it appeals? Congrats on your son self-initiating, that’s awesome and bodes well for a quick process!
Emily S. says
Every kid is different, of course, but we had good luck with straight undies and the “Potty Training in 3 Days” method. (Our ped gently discouraged “Oh crap!” because of the potty in the car advice. To be fair, I brought it up as in, do I have to keep a toilet in the car to potty train my kid?! I have to sign on to that?!) I think the rationale from these methods that pull-ups feel like a continuation of diapers makes sense to a kid who really wants to wear undies. Good luck!
Anonymous says
What is your urine tolerance like? I abhor pull-ups and think they delay the process. I have 3 girls, all were fully daytime trained +/- 2 years old (23 months, 26 months, 25 months). I’m defining that as less than 1 real accident every week or so and maybe one or to “dribbles” (didnt quiiiiite make it’s) per week. But fully in underwear and peeing and pooping in the toilet 98%.
I did a few weeks of toilet excitement- letting them sit on the toilet because that’s what Big! kids! Do! This was easiest when there were siblings to model.
After that it was undies time. This is where all the Pee (and poop for 2/3; one just…never pooped in her undies). happened. Every 20 min or so we did a potty trip. Success rate of about 40% the first week. Much laundry. Next week success rate of about 75%. Same third week. Fourth week success was in the 90% range. After that it just got better. So after 6 weeks, they were good! My oldest was trained earliest (98% successful before age 2) but had an inexplicable major regression at 2.5. Middle was harder to poop train and we started later because I was busy having a baby hit before her second birthday…but started potty training while on maternity leave and was done before it was over. Youngest started later because….baby of the house and it was summer and I didn’t want to have to deal with her peeing and pooping in pools. But she was trained by the fall!
There was a lot of laundry. I have friends who waited until more like 3 and had much faster success, but I truly hate diapers and my kids we’re all trying to change themselves by 20 months so enough was enough.
HSG Safety says
Update: I wanted to update you about HSG test I was worried about last week. I had the test done. The radiology technician and the doctor made me feel very comfortable, answered all my questions (regarding x-rays etc) and it went very smoothly. Very comforting to know that both tubes are open and there are no other structural issues. It took a while to fill the right tube though, with lot of turning and more dye. Just before they concluded that the right tube was blocked, it started filling slowly. Thank you so much for push that I needed :-).
Seafinch says
I got pregnant twice immediately after an HsG, so if that is your goal, good luck and get to it :)
Anonymous says
I’m glad that worked for you! FWIW I got pregnant the cycle after HSG after trying for about 18 months– my OB said that was quite common, and he thought the HSG kind of “flushed out” stuff in the tubes that might be blocking them, although that is totally anecdotal. I hope things work out for you.
Anonymous says
aw yay! Glad to hear you’ve taken the first step. I hope the rest of your IF journey goes well too!
LasyNFS says
Housekeeper question – I want to have someone come to my house every day, 2-3 hours per day for cleaning, tidying, and dinner cooking. Other than Care dot com, has anyone used any resources for this? Any suggestions for duties / tasks or what I should be looking for in hiring?
Anon says
I would definitely use Care but might also look for a nanny agency in town. Even if they don’t have someone in their true network, it might help get the word out in the caretaker community. Also, Nextdoor and neighborhood Facebook boards aren’t a bad place to start.
Anonymous says
Local college or community college job boards? I’m more introverted and would have loved this kind of job in college vs the typical customer service orientated college age jobs like waitressing or retail.
Anon says
I did this for awhile after my second was born. I used care.com successfully. In my experience, it helped to write up a list of tasks that needed to be done daily/weekly/biweekly. I gave the person we hired a lot of leeway in organizing the rhythm of the week within that scope. If possible, plan for extra hours the first week or two as they get oriented to your house.
Tasks were roughly as follows:
Daily: load of laundry (wash/dry only, we folded and put it away later). Cook dinner, clear and wipe down surfaces in kitchen and dining room. Pick up floors in main level of house and set Roomba to run.
Weekly: Wash towels, change beds and wash sheets. Clean bathrooms.
Every other week: Mop/vacuum floors. Thorough cleaning of kitchen. Dust all surfaces.
Cooking was the most difficult skill for me to assess. We have some dietary restrictions so I needed someone who could cook competently from recipes that I provided. I talked to people about their kitchen experience, but I also did a two-day trial for multiple candidates to see how things went. That was very revealing, although I’m sure it was too much hassle for some people to deal with so it probably cut the candidate pool somewhat (to be clear: we paid people for that time, obviously, but it’s still a significant ask). I also did all the actual food purchasing, mostly because it’s cheaper to get groceries delivered than to pay someone $18/hr to go to the grocery store for me.
In my experience, the best candidates were stay at home moms whose kids were in preschool or elementary, and who wanted to take on work outside the house while still being at home for their kids during non-school hours. However that meant some limited availability around snow days, school holidays, days when their kids were sick, etc. We basically let her have unlimited unpaid time off for those reasons, with the understanding that she’d make up at least some of the hours during the rest of the week. In general, for super part-time work like this, I think you have to be understanding that people are fitting it into the rest of their lives and that can require more flexibility on your part if you want the job to be appealing. Or very good pay.
Hope this helps. We couldn’t afford to keep it up indefinitely, but I definitely fantasize about going back if I ever get a big enough raise.
LadyNFS says
Thanks for the feedback – very helpful. May I ask the hours that you had this person work? I’m thinking later in the day (I.e 3:00 or 4:00 to 6:00) so that he/she can cook dinner, but thinking based on your comment re SAHM above that may narrow my applicant pool. Thanks again!
Pogo says
If you are DH have a direct conflict for travel, how do you decide who goes? Both conferences are internal, good networking for us but not essential for our job function, both are technically optional, and we’ve both been before but in previous years they didn’t overlap. Normally I would have our parents watch kiddo while we’re gone and both of us go, but since it’s winter the snowbirds are all down south.
I’m leaning towards just flipping a coin, because I don’t want us to start keeping score about this kind of thing. Or maybe this is one case where keeping score is ok? Like I get to go for this conflict, but the next conflict is his?
Anonymous says
A lot depends on how far each conference is, how far they are from each other, whether the overlaps is 100%, age of kiddo etc. Could you/DH fly kiddo down to the snowbirds and then enjoy a weekend break when picking up on the way back? I would factor in how regularly either of you travels. Person with less travel should get the chance to go. Otherwise, if multiday – is there an option to each go for part of your respective conferences?
Anonymous says
Neither meeting is important enough for us to involve extra plane flights for in-laws or the kiddo (1.5 years). We both travel quite a bit, but we’re usually in control of our schedules so we coordinate – it’s when we have industry conferences or these large internal meetings that are fixed date we have an issue. Husband’s meeting is longer, so it would make sense for him to go just to the first half, but it’s also in Europe so that kills an entire day to get there and back. Good thoughts tho!
Anonymous says
I would try to figure out whose attendance is more strategically important and have that person go. There’s got to be some reason why the conference would be particularly useful to one or the other of you. For example, if my husband and I were in a similar situation, I would probably end up going because we both know that I am getting ready to ask for a promotion and am trying to increase my visibility within the organization. I would not do a coin flip or start keeping score, as either one would set a bad precedent.
Anonymous says
That’s a good point. I think mine might tip the scales as it’s being held at one of our major offices that I’ve never been to, and would give me a chance to have other meetings while I’m there.
SC says
I’d flip a coin this year, but trade next time there’s a similar conflict.
IHeartBacon says
This is exactly what I was going to write. Flip a coin this time and then trade turns from here on out.
layered bob says
Replacement Spectra parts – nenesupply vs maymom? Or suck it up and pay for the official Spectra parts?
Ranon says
I did nene on amazon and had no issues. Worked same as originals