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Accessory Tuesday: Kite Hoop Earrings 

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There are a million ways that an office Secret Santa gift exchange can go wrong, but this year I totally scored. I have a small office where there is very little turnover, so we all know each other pretty well. When one of us set up a Secret Santa exchange, I think we all internally groaned, but when it came time to give the gifts, we found that they were all really well thought out and tailored to the individual. One part of my gift was these earrings, which I love. They thread through your ear without a back or a clasp, they’re minimalist, and most of all, they’re super comfortable. I’ve started wearing earrings in my second ear piercing again, so I’m considering getting another pair from this designer in another shape to wear right beside these. The earrings, which are from Kris Nations, are $40 at Nordstrom. Kite Hoop Earrings  This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Cb says

    Tuesday is my momming day and I’ve got tickets to take kiddo to a toddler festival at the museum. Apparently it’s just a cool experience – mirrors, and music, and bubbles and I’m super excited about it. We saw a bubble show over the summer and it was mind blowing for my little guy. Of course, he is now having an epic nap. Lunch is on the table for when he wakes up and then we’ll go go go.

  2. Anonanonanon says

    I’m so proud of myself!
    I haven’t set foot in a gym since 2012, and I’m not one for independent exercising. Since I’m relatively thin naturally, I never felt the need to go ( i know, i know). However, now that I’m in my early 30s I’m realizing I need to start exercising for my health, and I joined a gym AND ACTUALLY WENT TO A CLASS AT 6AM THIS MORNING!! that is SO not like me, so I’m very proud. The real test will be if I ever go back…

    • Everlong says

      Keep up the good work! Notice how awesome you feel today after doing that early morning class, and you’ll want to keep it up! :)

  3. Anonanonanon says

    I can’t tell how big these earrings are, and the website doesn’t have a picture of them on a human, which is disappointing :(

    • rosie says

      I like the look of these, but I’m also trying to figure out details. Would the pull-through style be comfortable for someone who usually only wears pretty thin posts? The metal looks a bit thicker than a typical post.

    • HSAL says

      That happens so often with earrings, especially on Etsy (I assume there it’s because they want to show the earrings have never been in someone else’s ears). It drives me crazy.

    • drpepperesq says

      i have these and they’re very thin metal and probably a little less than the size of a quarter, i would estimate.

  4. dc anon says

    Do you keep a stash of kids’ gifts at home? I have found myself scrambling to scrape gifts together recently, mostly visiting with friends that we didn’t get to see over the holidays. I decided that I’d like to keep more go-to gifts around. What are your favorites? So far, I have a few favorite books, paints, and those 3 in 1 Lego kits.

    • Anonanonanon says

      I don’t, but I frequently think about how much easier my life would be if I did.
      I was going to suggest reasonably-priced Lego kits, but you already have that covered! It would really depend on the age-range. I would also need to keep gift bags and tissue paper around, that’s what usually drives the trip to the store :(

    • rosie says

      Yes, starting to. We’re at the stage where it’s mostly stuff for infants & young toddlers. I try to get a few of our favorite board books so that way if I go visit a new baby, I have a little something on hand. Also have some Melissa & Doug water paint & sticker sets. Seems like the toy section at TJ Maxxx would be good for stocking up.

    • HSAL says

      I’ve just started, mainly because I bought my three year old more Christmas gifts than I realized, so I stuck a few aside. I’ve got art supplies and a couple Melissa and Doug toys, especially the Water Wows.

    • Mrs. Jones says

      Always. And I keep gift bags to reuse. I just pick up cheap gifts whenever I see something that would work, at Target, Tuesday Morning, TJ Maxx etc.

    • anne-on says

      Always. At least 1-2 lego sets plus a few hardcover books. Usually I’ll order multiples, or simply stock up on a particularly popular item. That and wrapping paper/gift bags/tissue paper always live in our attic along with birthday cards. I try to stock up at CVS when they run those 20-30% off coupons (the bags/wrapping, not the toys!).

      • rosie says

        Oh, cards–I try to pick up a few at Trader Joe’s whenever I’m there. They are 99 cents, and they usually have different ones each time, including some kid birthday cards.

    • Anonymous says

      Melissa and Doug has lots of stuff that is useful for this – small craft sets, reusable vinyl stickers, etc. I stock up when they go on sale on Amazon and use them for birthday party gifts primarily. I also planning to use my son’s Scholastic book order to stock up on inexpensive books for gifts.

    • lsw says

      Someone gave us a Marco bath toy from, I think, the Boon brand (it’s the one that lights up in water and looks like a scuba diver). We already had one, so I stuck it in my gift cupboard to use as a future gift. I think that’s a fun one because it’s a little different.

    • Emily S. says

      We keep play – doh sets, books, and puzzles on hand. I usually stock up when amazon has a lightening deal or target randomly puts play doh sets on clearance.

    • anon says

      Nope. Gifting is not my love language so I don’t randomly give little gifts like this. If we get invited to a kids birthday party, I take my LO to Target (we live close) and he picks out a gift under $20.

      • Spirograph says

        Same here.
        I do keep greeting cards on hand, though, so they’re ready (before I forget) when the occasion calls. A few birthday cards for kids and adults, sympathy cards, and generic congratulations cards.

      • Artemis says

        In a similar vein, I want to try to teach my kids how to be thoughtful/purposeful gift givers, but I am also really lucky to have a cute independent toy store down the street with reasonable prices, so I take my kids to pick out gifts themselves prior to any bday party. If I didn’t have that, I would probably have a “gift closet” but would have my kids pick from there.
        I also keep and re-use any usable gift bags/tissue paper/ribbon that comes on gifts to us so I have a constant rotating source of gift wrap options, and pick up cards in batches when I get CVS coupons–I pick them for specific people and then just save them.

    • SC says

      I keep a few. It happened a little bit by accident. I have several that I purchased for specific birthday parties that Kiddo ended up being sick for. I have one that I meant to ship to a family member but never got around to. I have a nice board book because I over-bought for my niece for Christmas and then cut back, figuring I can give it to her for her birthday or use it if another occasion comes up first.

    • anon says

      Yes, I do! Although they are mostly gifts intended for my own kids that I redirected to my gift stash since my kids are at preschool all day and hardly play with the toys they already have. I do this whenever we get duplicate gifts (e.g., extra copies of a book we already have) or two of something (happens often because we have twins).

    • Anonymous says

      I tried doing this, and it never quite worked out. Kiddo always wanted to pick out a specific gift at the store, I would overbuy for a particular age and then they’d grow out of the gifts before all were given away, and it just ended up wasting money and valuable closet space. I ended up just letting kiddo pick out gifts at Target or Barnes and Noble during our regular weekly errands before each party.

      • anon says

        Same here. I tried, it didn’t work, and I still have a couple of random puzzles in my office closet to prove it!

        • anne-on says

          FYI – this does sometimes happen (or we’ll miss a party, etc.) I view those as my donations to that year’s Toys for Tots drive, or local hospital, if you’re looking to get rid of them.

    • anon. says

      Packs of stickers from the dollar section at Target are awesome for this and take up no space. Also just boxes of crayons when they’re on sale- everyone can use new crayons!

    • Anonymous says

      Yep. Kids are 5,2 and 6 months. I have a closet shelf full of duplicate gifts, bday party gifts that my kids weren’t into, a bunch of water Wow/craft things, and gift bags/tissue.

  5. Airline Credit Cards says

    Recommendations on airline credit cards and why? Thanks!!

    • Anonymous says

      Chase Sapphire Reserve. Great travel credits, good redemption options, lots of flexibility.

      • IP attorney says

        this 100% – we don’t always fly with the same airline so it’s perfect for us. It provides access to the priority lounges across the world too which is amazing. We’ve used that benefit countless times.

    • rosie says

      I think it really depends on who you usually fly. I like Southwest and definitely recommend them if they go lots of places from your home airport. They have a great deal where once you get 110k miles (can do this with combo of signup bonus on cards & spending/flying), you get a companion pass for a year. Can save so much money if you travel with the same person frequently (you can switch who your companion is every 3 months, I think), because you fly 2 for the price of 1. I find their pricing in $$ versus points very easy to navigate, plus you cannot beat their cancellation policy & free checked bags.

      The only other one I really know about is Alaska. Alaska cc will give a one-time companion pass each year (you pay about $100 in fees for the pass, plus the cc fees) & free checked bags.

    • Jeffiner says

      I have an American Airlines card because I live near American’s hub and can get nonstop flights to most destinations. I get free checked bags and earlier boarding with it, as well as the miles. I really don’t know how it compares to other cards, because the airline is more important to me than card benefits.

  6. HSAL says

    Pumping on a plane – has anyone ever asked to pre-board to pump in the bathroom before a flight takes off? I’ve got a pretty long travel/meeting day coming up and basically all of my pumping times are going to be awkward. I’ve got a battery pack and a manual so I’m not limited to an outlet (and I’m not especially modest), but I’m trying to think of tips to make it easier.

    • Anonymous says

      That’s not going to work. It’s unlikely they will let you and they usually aren’t eager to have people hiding out in the bathroom. Why not pump in the terminal and board last?

    • Anon says

      Pre-board and pump in your seat. Bathrooms are so gross, especially on airplanes, so I wouldn’t want to be preparing my kids meal there.

    • lsw says

      I pumped with a manual in my seat and it wasn’t too bad, other than a little challenging to have enough arm room. That was when I was sitting next to my husband, which made it easier. Would have been tough with an unknown seatmate. When traveling solo, I always pumped right before boarding and right after landing.

    • AwayEmily says

      I doubt if they’d let you go in early. I’ve pumped in an airplane bathroom mid-flight several times. Every time I told the flight attendants before I went in that I would be pumping so I would be in there for a little while. They were super understanding/nice (one even gave me some cleaning wipes in case I needed them) and also took charge of pointing people to the other bathroom. One thing I would recommend: even if you will be storing in freezer bags for most of the time, it is worth bringing a couple of caps for the airplane-bathroom pump session, just so you don’t have to deal with transferring the milk to a bag while in the bathroom. Transfer it once you get back to your seat or after you land.

      Other alternative: find an empty gate near yours and sit in a corner by a plug to pump. This is actually my preferred method when in airports and I don’t have time to find a lactation room. I face the wall, check my phone, and then board at the last minute.

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      Pumped on the plane (battery operated) when traveling solo for work and with DH for a get away. It was definitely manageable. If it’s not a full flight, you can ask for a seat with an empty next to you that could make it easier. Give the passenger next to you a heads up of what you’ll be doing, folks tend to be pretty nice and understanding.

      Towards the end of my pumping journey (November 2018) I noticed that airports were getting smart about nursing/pumping suites. I used one after getting off a redeye flight and it was much better than trying to pump in other public spaces.

      GOOD LUCK!

    • Anon says

      An increasing number of airports have the Mamava pods. I used this immediately before my last flight. Something to look in to?

      • Anonymous says

        +1, Mamava or family bathroom before the flight. On the flight I’ve done battery opp in seat, manual in seat, and battery opp in bathroom. Bathroom outlet is NOT full power – do not use it.
        Manual in seat is easiest, but that only worked for me when LO was 11mo and already weaning. When he was 5mo and I was cranking out 30oz a day… not so much.

    • anon says

      I saw someone discreetly pumping at the gate before boarding. She sat a little away from people and used a cover. I didn’t even realize she was pumping until I saw the pump and yeti cooler.

    • HSAL says

      Thanks all. My hope was to get on the plane early to be able to stow a bag overheard before it got too full. I’m in an aisle seat so I won’t be able to pump at my seat during boarding. I know at least one of the airports has a lactation pod, but I guess I was paranoid about somehow missing my flight. I’m probably overthinking and will just pump close to the usual time regardless of where I am.

      Thanks for the tip on the bathroom outlets, though. Does anyone know how long the battery pack lasts? I’m seeing conflicting information online.

      • lawsuited says

        What pump do you have? I have a Spectra and when it was new a fully charged battery lasted me a couple of days.

      • Pogo says

        I used the Medela w/ battery pack and it lasted me through multiple trips – so probably at least 10 hours of pumping, if not more.

        • HSAL says

          Oh perfect, thanks. I have both but I’m bringing the Medela just because it’s a less awkward shape. I don’t anticipate needing to use the batteries more than 5 pumps, so that’ll work. I was trying to figure out if I should bring extras.

  7. Anon says

    Gift idea for a 5.5 year old boy? He likes Star Wars (but probably has lots) and sharks (ditto). Budget is around $50? My kids are younger and I find this tough!

    • anne-on says

      Imaginext has some great star wars play sets/action figures that may be good in that price range. We love Lego, but at 5.5 it is hard for them to understand how to play with it gently (and mom and dad are the ones creating it!). Otherwise, the ‘good’ (noisemaking) lightsabers, action figures from the animated star wars tv show, or magnatiles (a perpetual favorite) in black or clear to build extra cool ice palaces/death stars?

      • Anon at 9:34 says

        I think the age for Legos may be kid-specific. My daughter was definitely constructing small to medium-sized Lego kits by herself at that age. Maybe not something huge and complicated like the x-wing fighter, but there are plenty of kits labeled for ages 6 and up that are reasonable for a 4- or 5-year-old to manage.

    • OP says

      These are all great, any non-star wars ideas just in case? What five year old boys tend to be into? Thanks all!

      • Anonymous says

        My son is all Legos, all the time at that age. He also still likes trains and any kind of vehicle.

    • Spirograph says

      My 5.5 year old boy is very into nerf products and anything else weapon-adjacent, like foam sword and shield, play archery set, light-saber. Know the parents, of course!

      Also board games: Battleship, Trouble, Sorry!, Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Chess, Stratego, and Checkers are current favorites.

      And puzzles with <100 pieces. (+ puzzle mat, maybe?)

  8. Need to exercise says

    I’m a FTM and LO is 4 months old. We are working on getting into a good routine with working and daycare, etc., but I’m struggling to figure out how to fit exercise (both for myself and DH) into all of this. Is working out as a working parent just basically impossible? For people that have managed to regular exercise, when do you do it?

    • Ranon says

      Same. I havent found a way yet. Looking forward to seeing how others manage.

    • Anonymous says

      I found it much easier after the first year. Basically after I stopped spending so much time pumping, cleaning parts, making bottles, cleaning bottles, etc., I redirected that time towards exercising. I was just too wiped out to make it work before then. But I know there are people who make it work, and good for them!!

      • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

        +1 to this.

        I mentioned this above, but stopped pumping in November 2018. This is also around the time I was getting into a better exercise routine – as the sessions dropped it got easier. Granted, it’s not to pre-baby workout bandwidth, but amazing what I can do in 35-45 minutes at the gym in our building, or at work, or even online videos (e.g. beachbody, bloglaties, yoga).

        The women I know who were able to really get into a hardcore routine while having a <1 year old were either not nursing/pumping or had extra help (e.g. local grandparent that could come over a few nights a week).

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      When we had just our older son, I would wake up early (5am) once or twice on weekdays to go run, and then also go on a weekend day during his nap. This became easier once naps were consistent, and the early mornings were after I stopped nursing. Running outside with a jogging stroller when it’s warmer is also a nice way to both exercise and spend time with LO.

      With 2, I’m putting formal exercise on hold until we have a more settled routine/end nursing.

      • Jeffiner says

        Running with a jogging stroller is a great workout, but the minimum age for baby is 6 months (so he can support his head). We would run Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings before work. My husband and I would take turns pushing the stroller. Sometimes if it was raining or too cold, I’d go to the Y to swim laps instead of running, and my husband would sleep in with baby. Twice a week I go to the gym after work, and my husband does daycare pickup and dinner. My husband prefers to workout alone, so he put some equipment in the garage. He works out while LO sleeps, and watches him on the monitor.

    • Everlong says

      Working out early in the AM for me. I have more energy by spending an hour running than I would from an extra hour of sleep. Can you switch off with one of you doing the really early thing and the other working out after the kids are in bed?

      • KW says

        This is what I do too. I have a 7 yo and 3 mo and get up at 6am to work out at home. That way if the baby gets up, DH can either settle him back down or come and get me to feed him. Evenings are just too crazy after work/school/daycare with dinner, dishes, baths, etc. I could do it after the kids are in bed, but that would end up being around 9-10pm and I’m much more of a morning person than a night owl. So once the kids are asleep, I go to bed too.

    • CPA Lady says

      The biggest mental adjustment I had to make was that the perfect is the enemy of the good. For the longest time (an embarrassingly long amount of time, like maybe 2 years?) I thought that since I couldn’t figure out how to work out 3x per week that I couldn’t work out.

      Working out 1x per week is still something!!! It still helps and it still counts and it’s still good.

      But I didn’t get that so I didn’t even try til my kid was like 2. Various things I’ve done with varying levels of success:

      – youtube videos like Bikini Body Mommy (the name makes me want to heave, but it’s actually a quick and effective HIIT every other day and weights every other day)
      – doing a 1x per week 90 minute hot yoga class
      – making a point to go on a walk around our neighborhood with kiddo
      – currently I’m leaving work at 4:15 to go to the gym every other day before going home for dinner. I have a flexible schedule that can accommodate this, the Y is basically across the street from my office, and my commute home is 15 minutes… this would all be way more difficult if everything were far flung.

      In dream the impossible dream land, I would be doing hot yoga 3x per week. But instead I’m going to the Y and running on the treadmill because it’s the most convenient option.

    • Emily S. says

      I did quick workouts on my lunch break (30 minute circuit at the gym across the street or a walk when it was nice) and sometimes lifted weights at home after baby went to bed or did happy baby workout dvd with her, and a really good class on a weekend during nap time. It’s a lot easier when baby is a bit older and no longer nursing overnight and taking more regular naps. Give yourself some grace to ease back into a regular exercise routine, but do make it happen if it makes you feel better.

    • In House Lobbyist says

      Find a gym with great child care. We pay a crazy amount for the fancy gym with great childcare and children activities. We do everything there – swim lesson, swim team, ballet, kids sports camps, breakfast with Santa – and we get 2 hours of childcare a day with our membership.

      • chill says

        Second this. My YMCA system has free child care. I considered going an enriching activity for me and for my kid.

    • Anonymous says

      I didn’t manage really regularly it until my son was 2.5, but starting then I got up 30 minutes earlier and did it in the morning at home. 4 years later I do this religiously on weekdays.

    • Pogo says

      Mostly at lunch, or in the evenings after LO is asleep (yoga class, workout video). Some weekend time during naps, or while DH watches LO.
      I did make a lot of use of the jogging stroller in the first year, but that backfired by screwing up my hip. So make sure if you jog a lot with the stroller you watch your form and stretch!

    • Anon says

      My child is 17 months and the answer is I don’t, but I think that has more to do with my work schedule (BigLaw, 50 hours on a good week, usually closer to 60 or 70) than her, although we only recently started sleeping consistently through the night and that has made a huge difference in my energy levels. Went to a holiday party this weekend and heard all about how other people do it – yoga class at 5PM (my jaw fell open at this), post-dinner walks, morning workouts where they slept more than 6 hours the night before…. In my current world, I work, play with my kiddo which I rationalize as a workout – she’s very active and a essentially a 30 lb kettlebell, try to get her outside for a walk for both of us a few times a week, try to sleep 7 hours a night and eat something relatively homecooked a couple of times a week.

    • HM says

      DS is 5 months old- I stopped pumping about a month ago. I wasn’t able to make it work while I was pumping, but now we’ve settled into a good routine. I get up between 5 and 5:30, feed, change, and dress DS while DH gets ready, and then DH does daycare dropoff around 6:30 while I do the Daily Burn 365 before work. DH works out on his lunch. It’s been working for us!

    • anon says

      for me if the choice is between sleep and exercise, i always choose sleep, which is why exercise hasn’t happened that much for me. for my friends who manage to do it, they seem to get up early to do it before work, but we aren’t morning people in our household

    • Anon says

      It’s one of those things I’ve accepted that isn’t happening for me right now. I love group exercise classes but my husband travels 50-60% of the time, I’ve been nursing up until recently, and my daughter just started sleeping through the night a few months ago. It simply isn’t happening, and I’m choosing to let go of it to prioritize other things instead.

      We frequently go for walks and I’m carrying my 20-pound toddler up and down the stairs all day long. I figure that counts for something, right?

      • Anonymous says

        Same. My husband doesn’t travel but works night shifts, so I am the only adult home 3-4 days a week. I could see it happening if we could take turns in the morning or evening, but when it is just me…no. Only option is at-home exercise and honestly, I don’t have the motivation as when I had group classes or could work out outside.

        Being the daycare drop-off and pick-up person means there is no time during the day, either.

    • Anonanonanon says

      My husband and I have our default parent times, meaning he is responsible for mornings unless we specifically discuss and agree otherwise and I am responsible for pickups/early evenings with the same conditions. I finally joined a gym (close to work, not home, this was key to me) and made it out the door for a 6am class. I know that, realistically, I will never go in the evenings or on the weekends. However, my youngest is 10 months old and still not sleeping through the night so I can’t IMAGINE doing it at 4 months old, so definitely give yourself a break!
      It took me a long time to pick a gym, here’s what helped me:
      -again, close to work instead of home
      -I studied all of the group fitness schedules for nearby gyms. I chose one that had a 6 am class twice a week i could see myself attending, and a few lunchtime options as backups. I know I am not motivated enough to use the equipment on my own
      -That being said, my current exercise goal is “more than none”. There’s so many studies out highlighting how even walking for 30 minutes tiwce a week can make a huge impact on your health. So I definitely go light in the morning workouts because I have to get through the day, and I’m not going to beat myself up if I decide to walk on the treadmill at the gym while I listen to an audiobook, and then enjoy getting ready in the nice locker room with no children or husband around :)

    • ElisaR says

      it is hard. i have been dropping kids off at daycare and going to a bar method class and changing into work clothes and getting to work late a few days a week. it’s not ideal but i have some flexibility and am trying to take advantage of it. It means I don’t get to work those days until 9:45 or so. Saturday morning there is a 7:30am class that I am always in. Gets it out of the way early in the weekend. My husband never works out bc he has a long commute and hasn’t prioritized it.

      • anon in brooklyn says

        I let go of the idea that I always needed to work out at the same time each day. I had tried to go during lunch, but with cleaning up after, it takes too long to do it multiple times a week. So now I go once during lunch Monday, when I have the rest of the week to catch up at work. Then Wednesday after work (my husband and I each give each other one night off pickup/dinner/bedtime a week). Then Saturday either first thing in the morning or during my daughter’s midday nap.

    • Long time lurker says

      I have an 11 month old and I do workout videos after she goes to bed or during weekend naps. I also go to an exercise class once a week where my husband leaves early for daycare pickup. I work 9-5, gave up breastfeeding at like 8 weeks no no pumping stuff, and am a night/evening person so this works for me, ymmv.

    • IP Attorney says

      I’ve found it easiest to work after the baby goes down for bed (around 7-7:30 pm) using an in-home program so I don’t have to leave for the gym (if I did, I wouldn’t work out). I love BBG by Kayla Itsines bc it’s only 28 minutes 3x a week using an app on my phone. I do it in our bedroom using a yoga mat and some free weights, jump rope, etc. Smaller than my pre-baby weight now after using that program, it’s intense but really good!

    • lawsuited says

      Once we sleeptrained our LO, DH and I started taking turns using evenings for things like errands, fitness classes, personal care appointments. Before then we were mainly just keeping our very tired heads above water and not working out.

    • G says

      I’m required to take a lunch hour at my office job, i.e. I’m required to be at the office 9 to 6 even though my schedule is 40 hours per week, so I go to the gym on my lunch hour. I would never do this if it meant choosing the gym over getting in an hour later or leaving an hour earlier, but since neither of those are an option, I actually use that time for the gym (rather than going out to lunch or god forbid staying at my desk). This is a situation that is very specific to me, I realize, but just wanted to share my approach.

    • Anonymous says

      Mom of a current 4 month old and a preschooler. With one kid, I exercised at 8 pm after kid’s bedtime (unless I had to work), occasionally at lunch or mid afternoon instead of taking lunch depending on my work day, and at nap time on the weekend . Currently the preschooler doesn’t nap and the baby often needs to be held for naps, so it’s just nights, the occasional workday workout and whatever we can swing on the weekend. Both kids are asleep by 7:45 which helps. This weekend my spouse stayed with the kids so I could jog, we both lifted weights in the garage with preschooler while baby miraculously napped on his own, and I managed the kids while he jogged. Both of us currently have gyms at our workplaces and I often work at least part of the day at home, so I may do some exercise or take a walk while on conference calls. My office also has light dumbbells on every floor so I sometimes use them in my office while on the phone.

  9. pumpingmom says

    i was pumping about 14 oz over three sessions at work before Christmas. Took a week off work/pumping and cannot get more than 9 oz at work now! I’ve tried supplements (yes, until I smell), tea, lactation treats, power pumping, an extra session at night, as much nursing time as possible, oatmeal, more water, yada yada yada. period hasn’t come back.

    does this sound like it’s just a permanent drop in production?

        • HSAL says

          Your period could still show up, but that’s when I had a drop in supply with my first. Have you started solids yet? That could also be contributing. I also tend to have a drop when I’m sick.

          • pumpingmom says

            actually this is the same time that I noticed a supply drop with my first, too. and LO did start solids in the last 3 weeks. and of course with two little kids in the winter I have been sick for a solid month. maybe those are the culprits…

          • Anon in NYC says

            Things that caused a natural drop in my supply: the week before my period returned (at ~4/5 months) every month, illnesses, particularly bad sleep deprivation (instead of just normal amounts), dehydration, and eventually, when my kid start eating a considerable amount of solids.

    • anon says

      My experience is 5 years old, but I rented a hospital grade pump to get my production back up once upon a time.

      • Another Anon says

        I read that as you were still pumping when your kid was 5 years old…and whoa. Clearly the three cups of coffee I had this morning weren’t enough. Or too much.

    • Elle says

      Have you tried switching out your membranes (either the white flaps for Medela or the duckbills for Spectra)?

  10. Solid Food Schedule says

    Are there any relatively neutral, down to earth resources out there for feeding schedules for a baby as it relates to solids? I keep getting eye roll worthy mommy blogs or other sources that just don’t feel reliable.

    For context, LO is 8 months. She’s got purees and chunkier purees down. We’ve done true solids cut up into small pieces: blueberries, bananas, carrots, peas, eggs, avocado, potato, etc that supplement either morning and evening purees/mashes. But, it’s not really done… strategically? We just come up with foods that are relatively soft and are slowly increasing in size, put a bunch in front of her and help her eat them and get them in her mouth (her pincer grasp is improving daily). She gets a morning and evening puree along with a side of the above mentioned solids. Right now there’s only formula and no solid going to daycare with her. She hasn’t met a food she doesn’t love.

    We’re fairly low key in terms of reading books and looking for advice/strategies/methods for doing things, but I feel like food is something we should be a little more thoughtful about so that we are developing good habits and motor skills (chewing, swallowing, etc). Any reading recs would be most appreciated. Thanks!

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      It sounds like you’re doing great! I did like Moms on Call – they have some nice schedules that you don’t have to follow exactly but give a good framework. If she loves her solids, may not be a bad idea to send some to daycare. Also, if your daycare offers meals, maybe you can ask them to feed her? We did that with DS around 8 months (once he was really good with purees and mashed foods) and that was really lovely and he got to try a lot of different things early but also in a safe environment with trained professionals :)

    • HSAL says

      I think it sounds like you’re doing really well, honestly. We just started solids and I didn’t really remember what we did with our first, so I checked out KellyMom and MomtoMomNutrition for guidance. I’d also send some solids to daycare. We outsourced morning oatmeal cereal to them and did purees at night for awhile, then started sending BLW-type foods for her to practice there with.

    • Anonymous says

      I definitely sent solids by 8mo. At 8mo he got breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner but always got milk first (pumped or bf). At around 11mo he started to self-wean so we went through freezer stash and formula for a bit, then at one year whole milk. In that time we gradually increased his meals to be more “meals” and less like, here’s half a banana. He nursed am/pm until about 13mo but mostly for comfort – he was getting all his nutrition from adult-like meals (albeit scaled down for a baby) and whole milk.

    • rosie says

      I like the Babyled Weaning Cookbook for ideas on what to feed the baby. I am by no means a “purees will ruin your child” person (and fed mine purees), but I like the recipes and narrative as a guide for what to feed a little person (and some of the stuff I actually really like for myself, too…lentil quiche mmmm).

    • SG says

      I really love the FeedingLittles and Kids.Eat.In.Color on Instagram, both are non-judgmental info on kids feeding

    • Anonymous says

      I have a 7.5 month old. It’s my third. Our solids feeding schedule is small bites of stuff we’re eating, and a pouch of solids once or twice a day. We don’t give hard foods she can’t mash yet (pieces of apple), but she’s had breads, fruits, veggies, pasta, chicken, pieces of meatball etc.

      We have no history of allergies within the family, FWIW.

  11. lsw says

    Does anyone use meal planning apps like Prepear? Related, any hot meal planning tips? (hot tips, not for hot meals, though those are welcome too)

    • mascot says

      I use Paprika for recipe managing, grocery lists and meal planning. The app syncs across devices pretty well. It doesn’t suggest meal plans. That’s fine with me since I like to mix and match my own from various places.
      I did eMeals for a while but I didn’t love their plans.

  12. More Sleep Would Be Nice says

    The questions on workouts and nursing/pumping posted today have inspired me (if you will).

    Ladies – I’m 13 months PP. I finally got into a decent exercise routine in the Fall (as the pumping sessions dropped, my bandwidth increased), and now that I’ve finished pumping realized I can actually sneak a workout in as my “lunch” break most days. I enjoyed myself during the holidays and was not able to get exercise in while we traveled, but got a lot of great rest (no guilt).

    However, this morning I just kind of lost it on the way to work – felt good to have a good cry, to be honest. I’m still not back into most of my clothes. I’ve been wearing the same capsule wardrobe to work since I got back from ML (granted stuff fits better now and I don’t need Spanx). I definitely clung on to weight while nursing and pumping. Most days at work I feel pretty frumpy, even with a full face of makeup. I’ve bought some new stuff here and there which kind of helps, gotten haircuts, etc. but feels like a bandaid to the bigger issue.

    When will it (the weight) go away? I eat mostly healthy-plant based foods with a few enjoyable weekend meals, and am looking to workout 4-5x/week now. Just got my period back. Looking for anything – tips, commiseration, etc.

    • anne-on says

      It really sounds like you’re doing everything right! It can take some time for your hormones to reset after pumping, so I’d give yourself a break.
      If you haven’t already, I’d encourage you to incorporate weights (and heavier weights!) into your workouts. I had about 8-10lbs to lose this fall after bad habits compounded by a medical issue and 3x/week HIT with weights (and again, increasing the weights) was the only thing that did it for me. Cardio and pilates just weren’t enough for me. Also, this sounds kind of vain and ridiculous, but work allowed us to chose a walking desk or an under desk elliptical, and I swear peddling on the elliptical (slowly) for 45minutes-1 hour a few days a week helps with the mainly sedentary nature of my job.

      • IP Attorney says

        Totally agree with this. I did just cardio for a month early in my maternity leave and saw zero weight loss. Could have been the BFing but once I started a work out routine incorporating weights (while BFing), I really saw the weight go down. Everyone’s different but this worked best for me.

    • Knope says

      At 13 months PP I was still about 5 lbs higher than my pre-pregnancy weight. It took me till about 19 months – at which I was 6 months past breastfeeding and consistently doing HIIT every other day and eating right – to finally get rid of those 5 lbs. Also, as your baby starts walking more, and then running, and then getting into everything…you will be running after them!! I found that really helps with the weight loss :) good luck!

    • ANP says

      Big hugs! I know what it’s like to not feel like yourself in your own body — I birthed 3 kids and it took me a long time to recover. Eldest is 9, middle is 6, youngest is 3.5. I was only just able to get into a self-care routine that included eating better and working out 2-4 times per week when my little one turned 3, so about six months ago. It is HARD! My body never looked the same after childbirth (stuff, uh, rearranged itself) and at my absolute skinniest (so, not all of the time) I’m about 5 lbs. up from my pre-preg weight. That said, I’ve come to accept this new normal: my body GREW AND BIRTHED THREE FUNCTIONAL HUMANS. That’s crazy when you think about it! I would urge you to be kind to yourself. If you feel strongly about losing weight and my urge toward kindness can’t dissuade you, I would focus more on your eating than on working out. Both are great and obviously exercise has amazing benefits far beyond weight loss, but bodies are made in the kitchen.

      • Artemis says

        Thank you for this. I also have three kids, almost the same ages. I’m trying to get to your described place of grace with myself, and I feel like I’m close, but not quite there. Thank you.

    • Anon says

      Second the recommendation to be kind to yourself. Also, consider whether some of it is the weight and some of it is just your body rearranging itself (which I treat as a neutral outcome – neither good nor bad, but certainly not something I can do things about). For example, my weight is down to below my pre-pregnancy weight (upside to puking for my entire pregnancy), but my weight is all redistributed (my stomach is much softer and I am holding weight there in a way I never used to), and my hips and ribcage are permanently wider (I’m 18 months PP, so I think it’s permanent). I just finished BFing in the past few months and have gained back 5-10 pounds (plus the holidays), so everyone is different. For me, I have to focus on dressing the body I have now, and buying a few new pieces to tide me over until my next pregnancy (trying again soon). I feel so much better when I am in the new clothes I’ve bought that are cut friendlier to my current shape (i.e., no more pencil skirts or sheath dresses).

    • Anon says

      I have found that I lose little to no weight by exercising. I think it’s very good for me in many other ways, but if I want to lose weight I have to restrict my eating in some form or fashion.
      It’s honestly a bit of a pet peeve to me that there is so much focus on losing weight via being active. Being active is great and should be an integral part of a healthy lifestyle but there have been lots of studies showing adding activity rarely results in significant weight loss. They’ve moved on to figuring out the why of that equation, not the if.
      But, also, I hate that fact and totally sympathize with your struggle. Hugs.

    • Anon in NYC says

      Honestly, I haven’t fully lost the baby weight. My kid is 3.5 years. Part of that is 100% me – food, alcohol, not enough exercise. Perhaps if I were able to fully commit to exercise and meal planning the way I did pre-kid, I’d be at my pre-baby weight. I still do those things – mostly try to exercise 3-4x per week, try to meal plan, etc., but not at my pre-kid levels. But I have a demanding job, a kid to take care of, and a marriage to sustain, and I just don’t have the bandwidth right now.

      I spent several years PP semi-refusing to buy work appropriate (or casual) clothes – maybe a piece here or there – beyond the few stretchy ponte dresses I purchased immediately before returning to work (at 4 mo PP), and just wore those or tried to squeeze into my pre-kid clothes and felt uncomfortable. And I just felt horrible about myself – frumpy and unattractive. I just recently purchased an almost entirely new work wardrobe that is comfortable and fits and is attractive and work appropriate. Yes, it’s a larger size than I was pre-kid. And I feel so much better about myself.

      My advice is to buy clothes that fit your body now and make you feel comfortable. And if you do start to fit in your old work clothes, great! But if not, don’t punish yourself by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable every day.

    • Anonymous says

      I didn’t get back to pre-preg weight until I finally became willing to count calories/diet in a concerted way, and that wasn’t until my son was 5.5, even though I started working out regularly 3 years earlier. It didn’t just come off through exercise/not going crazy, sadly. I definitely co-sign with investing in clothes that fit now. Its an investment in your mental health!

      • Anonymous says

        Same to the comment that I finally had to become willing to count calories/diet in a concerted way. I did intermittent fasting on weekdays. It helped a lot.

  13. Anonymous says

    Any tips for handling a challenging friend/kid combo? I love my friend and I love her three year old and am happy to do kid friendly stuff with them. Often lately though it isn’t goinv well. If we have plans to meet at the local park at 2 (her suggestion) she’ll show up and reveal that they’ve been out of the house and on the go since 9 am and that kiddo is tired and also hungry but she has no snacks, and then obvi the playground isn’t terribly fun with a crying grumpy child and I’m kinda like ok guess you don’t really care about this meetup since you’ve barely squeezed me into your day and haven’t in any way set this up for success. Or I’ll invite her over for, specifically, “an hour and we can do kid friendly activity and chill a little” and three and a half hours later she is still there even though kid is clearly exhausted and I’ve done everything I can to get her to leave including “well this was fun I’ll see you soon time to go.” At the moment I’m just seeing her less, but I’m wondering if there’s something else I can or should try? I really want to maintain the relationship but this is not working.

    • Knope says

      Either schedule playdates at her place so you have control over when you go, or schedule them at your place and set a “hard stop” – like, “Would love to have you over from 3-4, but at 4 we have to leave for kiddo’s music class” or the like.

    • chill says

      She sounds like a bad planner. Hang out at her place! That way, the kid can just take a nap or eat a snack. You can just leave when it’s not working.

      • Spirograph says

        This. You’re a good friend for trying to make this work. The hardest thing for me when trying to hang out with the (admittedly very few) friends without kids I have left, is that they plan things in advance and life tends to be unpredictable when you put a 3 year old in the mix. I can make plans for myself days in advance, but I have limited control over what kind of mood my kid will be in. The fact that she even showed up with a tired, grumpy, hungry child shows you how much she cares about spending time with you.

        • Anonymous says

          Yeah I guess that’s my issue. You planned on 2 pm with me, why’d you also say yes to three birthday parties that morning? (Literally has happened).

          But everyone’s suggestion to just hang out at her place is obvious and idk why I overlooked it. Should solve a lot of this until time and age does!

          • Anonymous says

            Is she a single mom? Because 3 birthday parties sounds like a good time for her partner to take kid duty, and for her to just hang out with you sans-kid.

            But yeah, she sounds like a bad planner. Everyone’s schedule is different, but my 3 year old is still a much nicer person she she has afternoon downtime/nap, so prime times for away-from-home-with-kid activities are before 1 and 4-7, leaving early afternoon free for a nap if needed.

      • Anon says

        Hanging out at her place sounds like the solution to me. That way the kid is in her own element with toys, etc., and you can leave when you’re ready.

    • Anonymous says

      Hang out at her place, or just kick her out. “Sorry tonkock you put but its my kiddo’s naptime. Let’s do this again soon!”you don’t have to be rude, just direct.

  14. Dog Question says

    Looking for advice on dealing with an anxious dog. Our dog has always been a little anxious (separation anxiety mostly) with occasional accidents in the house that seem related to that. But since losing our older dog over the summer, it’s gotten much worse and he’s peeing all over the house. When we first got him 5 years ago he was crate trained. Should we reintroduce the crate? Any other ideas?

    • Mrs. Jones says

      Definitely try the crate again. Are you willing and able to get another dog? I like having 2 dogs, even though it is twice as expensive.

    • mascot says

      I’d also talk to your vet to rule out any infections or physical issues and to see if they have suggestions..

      • Anon says

        +1 They can also prescribe anti-anxiety meds for anxious dogs. I have to thoroughly drug (using trazodone) my dog every time I take him to get his nails done or blood drawn. I’ve handled him extensively from seven weeks so not sure where it came from, and I kind of hate that I have to do it, but it works. I think they have other meds to use at a lower dose to reduce anxiety. I also second the recommendation to consider getting another dog. You may end up housetraining two at once, though! Trying the crate again for a while seems like a reasonable idea, too. Especially if he was used to it, it may provide some security when you’re not home.

  15. Sleep Consultant? says

    Can I cry uncle? After a month of illness and holiday-related travel, my 2yo has forgotten how to put himself to sleep independently. Bedtime used to be a special time, and then I closed the door and didn’t deal with the kids until the morning. Now I dread our “routine,” which drags on (sometimes for hours) and often ends with me sleeping on the floor in tears of exhaustion.

    On some level, I think I already know what needs to be done (full extinction), but CIO feels impossible now that he’s in a toddler bed and capable of stomping, banging, screaming full sentences and opening the door. Did I mention he shares a room with his sister and we live in an NYC apartment building?

    We are considering hiring a sleep consultant. Does anyone have experience, positive or negative?

    • DLC says

      No real advice, but commiseration. My almost 2 year old will not stay in bed, instead stands at the door crying. Luckily he can’t open it yet, but I’m definitely worried. Eventually he will cry himself to sleep – usually on the floor or half in bed. He shares a room with his older sister. The other day, someone asked my daughter what time she goes to bed and she says, “Whenever [baby brother] stops crying.” Some days she gives up and goes to sleep downstairs in their playroom.

    • anon says

      i don’t think a sleep consultant will be that helpful other than giving you a plan, but you will be the one who actually has to follow the plan. is sister older or younger? who goes to bed first? you can still do CIO and get a special doorknob cover so he can’t open the door, even though i know it is SOOO hard to listen to. you could also try a sticker chart where he gets a sticker every time he stays in bed and the ultimately gets a prize. what does your routine consist of currently? i would also throughout the evening remind your 2yo that this is what is going to happen at bedtime, and then after we read stories, have water, (or whatever it is that you do), you will then stay in your bed until morning. i’ve heard a ‘pass’ system recommended, but i think 2 is too young for that. remember it can take a week for something to really stick. also- how are naps? does your child still nap? is your child tired at bedtime? does nap need to be shortened or time changes?

    • SC says

      My kid, who was previously a good sleeper, had terrible sleep issues around 2.5 yo. I think a combination of age, the ability to get out of his toddler bed, and some late-summer travel/schedule disruptions were the culprit. We have a family friend who is a child psychologist and specializes in sleep issues, and we had a 30 minute phone call with her. It was life changing.
      – The sleep consultant told us to put Kiddo back to bed each time, but show no emotion and no reaction. Don’t show more affection or do an elaborate tuck in. We modified this a bit and went to something like a Ferber method (2 min, 5 min, 10 min) because Kiddo made a game out of getting out of bed before we even left the room, then thought it was funny when we put him back in bed–not what we were going for.
      – We took all the toys out of the room. That was the worst part for us because we had a small apartment.
      – We took away the night light and the night-time music and made the environment as non-stimulating as possible.
      – The consultant suggested a visual chart of bedtime routine, with pictures of PJs, books, toothbrush, bed, etc… we never got around to it, but I’m sure it would have helped.
      It took us about a few weeks, maybe a month, but things definitely improved!

    • Anonymous says

      If you don’t want to CIO, you can try the “No Cry Sleep Solution’ by Pantley – there’s a toddler version. I used the infant version with success. No experience with the toddler one.

    • PinkKeyboard says

      No lie, I put a lock on the door. We only had to use it a few times (and I would warn the neighbors) but it worked and at 3.5 she’s a DREAM. The lock went on after a lot of yelling and tears on both sides.

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