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Updated: Nov 10, 2020 124 Comments · by

Accessory Tuesday: Eyelash-Trim Print Cashmere & Silk Wrap

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A woman wearing an Eyelash-Trim Print Cashmere & Silk Wrap

I am in love with this scarf — including the interesting combination of the geometric shapes and the almost watercolor effect in the elements of the design. I chose the more colorful version to picture here, but I also really like the gray/black/white option. (There are also florals and other prints.)

It has a ton of positive reviews at Nordstrom — but do note that while some customers say it’s much smaller than in the images, it’s because they haven’t unfolded it completely. Apparently, the layers really stick together when it’s folded.

The scarf is 40% off, which brings it down from $99 to $59.40. Note that because the fabric is silk and cashmere, dry cleaning is recommended. Eyelash-Trim Print Cashmere & Silk Wrap

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

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About Kate Antoniades

Editor of Corporette/CorporetteMoms since 2014, Kate lives in Rochester, NY, and has one son (born in 2010). A cat person and Oxford comma loyalist, she loves Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food and her Vejas.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    My toddler has a huge head — any recommendations for shirts with wide necks, or snaps? We’re moving out of the onesies with envelope necks phase.

    • Cb says

      My big headed toddler has been biz casual for the last week, after a traumatising incident with a sweatshirt – I didn’t get the full scoop from nursery but I gather it required two teachers, maybe scissors, and some cuddles. I bought some boat neck bretons from Muji, but we mostly embrace the business casual button ups lately. Henleys are also good, although beware the fake buttonhole.

    • Anonymous says

      In a pinch, you can cut a slit in the center of the neck and use Fray Check to keep the seam from unraveling. I do this a lot with hooded sweatshirts.

    • Anonanonanon says

      Henleys and Polos, or button up blouses (Zara kids has cute baby/toddler blouses with buttons or at least with 3 buttons in the back to accommodate big heads)

    • NYCer says

      Gap has quite a few shirts and dresses with wider necks and/or buttons in the back for girls at least.

  2. Anonymous says

    Does anyone regularly wear scarves as accessories? I like the look, but I have never felt like I can wear it naturally. Is there some kind of trick, or do I just need to commit and own it?

    • Anonymous says

      It’s not you, it’s the scarf. I totally owned the big-scarf look back when it was trendy, but that look feels really dated right now.

    • Anonymous says

      Not sure if it’s a trick or not, but I love the look of a plain colored long sleeve t-shirt with a scarf around the neck (one loop around the neck, two ends hanging down) and some fun dangly earrings. I feel like everyone from their early twenties to ripe old age looks good in this style. It’s great for travel, and it’s a good way to stretch your outfits and budget by pairing a simple piece with an interesting visual feature. The federal circuit judge I worked for rocked it!

      For excellent styling examples, check out The Vivienne Files!

        • Anonymous says

          It was a classic look until it became a trend. Now that the trend is over, it looks tired even though it used to be a classic.

          • Anonymous says

            So what scarves are trendy now?!? I’m really not trying to look like a mommy blogger but scarves are warm and I wear a lot for warmth!!

    • ElisaR says

      cr@p! i’m sitting here cozy in my scarf….. i didn’t realize it was passe!

      honestly though, glad to hear it here bc lately i’m feeling out of touch and now i know!

    • anne-on says

      Like, real scarves? Or infinity scarves? I think infinity scarves are a bit passé, or more of a Mormon mommy blogger thing. I wear silk scarves an awful lot for work, most often with sheath dresses when I’m not wearing a blazer, or to ‘fancy up’ my outfit on a day I’m wearing jeans. I think you just have to play with them and get comfortable with a style. I mostly wind up wearing mine tied in a big flowery knot (like an old fashioned cravat, or feminized version of a men’s windsor knot) or simply around my neck held in place with one of the scarf ties that you can buy (Hermes sells them).
      It is a bit of an unusual look, but I enjoy it and love my scarf collection, so I just go for it. Fwiw, my scarves and shoes are probably the two things I get the most compliments on (fun dressy flat/low heel shoes are nearly impossible to find and I buy nearly every one I see!).

      • Anon says

        Seconded that silk scarves are classic – I know the look the other posters are referring to (i.e. like a knit scarf or a pashmina) and while I still love it I agree that’s more on the fence of classic v. dated. But an hermes or knockoff silk scarf with a suit? classic and refined.

        • Anonymous says

          Yes, thin silk scarves are classic. The look in the photo (large oblong print scarf) was trendy several years ago.

  3. Anon says

    For those of you with multiple kids, where one when having a tantrum does benefit from having an adult close by/hugs vs. being left all alone, how do you handle when you are solo parenting? I do a lot of solo parenting and have 2.5 year old twins and one is more tantrum prone, but it’s so hard to attend to both of their needs at the same time

    • Anonymous says

      I usually try to verbally engage with one while physically comforting the other. So like sitting on the sofa, snuggling upset twin, keeping the sole of my foot resting against other twin’s leg and talking to them.

      Or one kid in each arm. I don’t know how triplet moms do it.

      • OP says

        oh yes, every day i am thankful i don’t have triplets. the tantruming twin is usually SCREAMING and being totally illogical – wants to be picked up, then put down, then picked up, etc. bc is so upset, almost like “possessed” that cant figure out exactly what he wants

        • Anonymous says

          Honestly mine always did this and I just left him every time. Trying to figure out what he wanted was a fools errand. What I needed was not to be catering to tantrums. I just went with “hugs when you’ve calmed down” and ignoring.

        • Anonymous says

          It’s so hard for them. I have one like that and he struggles to say what will help. It’s like he wants to be held but being held is sensory overload. Sitting on my lap or between my legs vs being held seems to work and he also likes me singing softly. I have a couple songs like ‘Ants Go Marching’ or ‘Wheels on the Bus’ that help ground him. He’s basically grown out of it now but the early learning on emotional regulation is tough for everyone.

  4. Convertible car seat? says

    Best convertible carseat? Safety is really my only consideration but it’s so hard to find any information about which one is actually safest. What do y’all have?

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      We have a Britax Boulevard Clicktight and a couple of Graco 4evers (which we use both rear facing for the 2 year old and forward facing for the 4.5 year old). I think they’re both pretty well rated for safety. We personally like the Gracos a bit more because of the ease of using the seatbelts and the cupholders. Lucie’s List should have a good run down of options, particularly if you have smaller cars or other considerations.

    • Anon says

      We have the Chicco Next Fit Zip. Highly rated by consumer reports, easy to install, and machine washable zip off cover. Kiddo gets car sick, so I have to uninstall and reinstall to clean and wash the cloth parts at least once a month (sometimes once a week, sigh). It is very heavy though, so keep that in mind if you intend to switch between cars frequently.

      • anon says

        I also have had a good experience with the Chicco NextFit Zip. As of a few years ago, it could rear face to 40 pounds (about 4.5 years for my average/small kid).

        You might look for rear face to 50 pounds, especially if your kid is bigger. Better to have one seat that you get to know really well and can install really safely.

        Regardless of what you get, I definitely recommend meeting with a car seat safety tech if there’s one near you (our local children’s hospital offers this service for free).

    • Anon says

      supposedly the actual safest is the Clek bc it allows rear-facing for the longest and has been through more stringent testing forward facing. generally European countries have more stringent safety standards than we do in the U.S., so those are typically considered safer. we have cleks in one car and peg peregos in the other car.

      • anonymous says

        Clek doesn’t allow rear-facing the longest anymore. The longest rear facing on the market in the US is the Britax One4Life. It has a 49 inch height rear facing limit (following the 1 inch rule from top of head to top of shell) and the highest harness slots (important if your child has a long torso) and a 50 lb weight limit for rear facing.

    • Anonymous says

      I like the Clek Fllo. Not ugly, narrow enough for three across, short rearfacing seat pitch and high weight limit for rearfacing.

    • Cate says

      I have given way too much of my money to Clek – but I’ve always like the fllo and they’ve held up great.

    • Anon says

      We have the Britax Advocate. I like that it has the anti rebound bar (for rear facing) – I believe that’s standard in Canada but not required in the US. Seat seems comfy and my kiddo has no complaints. We did have to switch her forward-facing before age 3 since she hit the weight limit (40 lbs).

    • Anonymous says

      Safest is the one that fits best in your car. All are subject to the same safety standards (understanding the Clek comment above re: US/Eur standards). We liked Britax Marathons for both kids, again they fit well in our cars, had some nice side protection. Things to keep in mind: will you ever move it between/among cars (ease of install for you, grandparents, sitters/nanny), what car it’s in (room to rear face while a person is sitting in the front seat), how many seats you’ll have in the back seat (how they fit across/how wide they are).
      We never moved ours, and if you’re thinking you’ll move them frequently, I’d lean toward install as key—something like a Clicktight.

    • Anonymous says

      We have the Britax Boulevard in one car and the Chicco NextFit in the other. Both are pretty easy to use and seem comfortable to kiddo.

      If you are looking for longevity, Chicco was a hand-me-down (from close friends, so we were confident it had not been in an accident) and has held up extremely well. We’ve been using it for 1.5 years and it was used for about 5 years before that and I’m just now noticing a little wear on the seat padding and the harness is a little tougher to loosen. I’m sure the harness would be fine if we cleaned it, but the car seat is going to expire in a few months so we went ahead and bought the Graco Tranzition to replace it since we no longer need rear facing.

    • AwayEmily says

      Basically, safest is whatever you can do rear-facing the longest in that also fits in your car. We rear-faced in Diono Radian til age 4. That being said, there are many good reasons to not do extended rear-facing (e.g., if your kid vomits/screams while rear-facing) so don’t feel terrible if it doesn’t work for your family.

    • JTM says

      I recommend you check out Lucie’s List and Car Seats for the Littles, they both have good information and recommendations. All car seats have to pass the same safety tests, so the differences are really about comfort for your child, and comfort for you to get them in/out, and how they fit in your specific vehicle.

      We have Graco Extend2Fits in both of our cars, as our kids are on the smaller side and we wanted to keep them rear-facing longer.

    • Anon says

      The Zip function of the Chicco seats is so valuable – you don’t realize until your kid throws up in a different seat! We have been very happy with our Chiccos, but we switched to a Graco Extend-to-Fit recently so we could RF longer (50 lb limit). Chicco is also very easy to install correctly, which is a major component of safety (Graco, for example, has much more finicky rules).

    • Sf says

      We have the Nuna rava. Super easy to install. We call it his Cadillac because it’s rather large

    • Anonymous says

      +1 for the Chicco NextFit Zip. The zip-off function is so key! Much easier to install (with LATCH, at least) than my mom’s Graco. I feel like seat belt install is hard no matter what brand it is, since it’s all about getting the slack out of the seat belt while you push down into the seat.

  5. Feeding tips? says

    Any tips for speeding up feeding an infant? I have 3 month twins and feeding them takes forever. They nurse for about 10-15 minutes and then it takes them 30-40 to finish a bottle. They are growing well and we’re trying to get them to eat more and sleep longer but I feel like I spend all my time feeding them!

    • Anon says

      I don’t think so – sorry! It is time consuming. You could use faster flow nipples if they seem frustrated with the pace, but if they seem happy I wouldn’t push it, as that could lead to over feeding, gulping and taking in air, etc and that comes with other issues. They should continue to get more efficient on their own, though

    • Anon says

      fellow twin mom. i also started out triple feeding (breast feed twin A, then breast feed twin B while twin A has bottle, then bottle feed twin B while pumping) which is what it sounds like you are doing and i personally could only handle that when i had someone helping me. when i was on my own, i pumped and just bottle fed bc it was too many moving parts for me. i should also note that from day 1 we supplemented with formula bc i never made enough milk. agree with checking the flow of the bottle, but also just wanted to echo that i too felt like i spent ALL day feeding my twins. it was like by the time i was done, there wasn’t that much time before i had to start again. i used to be so jealous of all my friends with singletons who i would see doing all of these things with their babies, while we barely left the house. i promise you it gets easier!

      • Pogo says

        This is amazing. I can’t believe triple feeding a single kid, let alone twins!

    • Anonymous says

      Running to a meeting but I’ll post back tomorrow with a response. Hang in there.

    • AnonATL says

      Not a twin mom but try different brands or slightly faster flow. For some reason my kid would take an hour on the MAM bottles and finish the same flow setting on an avent or tommee tippee in 10-15 minutes.
      Needless to say we ditched the MAM samples we had.

    • Anonymous says

      My twins are 5 now, but I echo the comments of trying a different bottle or faster flow. My twins never likes to tandem feed, because neither of them liked my left side. At three months, it did feel like I was always feeding them or pumping. It’s not an easy time, but it will get better.

    • Bbbette says

      My baby is 2 months old and eats pretty efficiently now but took forever when he was – newborn. Probably goes without saying, but I’m guessing you’re already trying all the little tricks to keep them alert and focused? Playing with their ears and feet, blowing in their face, rubbing them with a damp washcloth, pulling away slightly so they suck harder, etc. I’ve found he eats much better if we’re alone in a quiet, well lit place (not in front of the tv or around other people). I was also advised for both of us to be as naked as possible, that the skin to skin helps them eat better. Now he finishes at the breast in about 7-10 minutes but a bottle can still take anywhere from 15-30 minutes.

      Mad respect for twin feeding – it sounds like you’re doing a great job! Hopefully they’ll just continue to get more efficient. Fingers crossed for you.

  6. Anon says

    Has anyone’s school district with in person schooling done random COVID testing of students and staff?

    My district is supposed to implement random testing of 20% of students and staff in order to stay open (elementary are in full-ish time, hybrid for middle and high schools). I am not opposed though some in the community are vehemently and vocally opposed. I would, however, like to better understand how the testing is reflective of the community spread. Does anyone have any info? Thanks!

    • Anon says

      I think it is a great concept but if it is going to be the painful all the way up style test, I don’t think I’d want to subject my child to that on the regular without symptoms. I know adults who have cancelled medical procedures to avoid having the test. If it is the less invasive test that’s only an inch or so up the nose than I wouldn’t be opposed.

      • Anon says

        thats ridiculous that someone canceled a medical procedure to avoid the test. i work at a university and we have random testing of students and staff, plus voluntary testing. some universities are testing every student 1-2x a week. i guess it’s the less invasive test that is only an inch or so up the nose? but we have contracts with 3 different hospitals so it depends which one does your test. the test is not that big of a deal. plus how often will this be happening? people just seem to like to have something to complain about.

        • Anon says

          Yeah canceling a medical procedure over fear of the swab is insane to me. Even the most invasive swab is less of a big deal than a pap smear, and most of us get those pretty regularly. I see why people aren’t thrilled about their kids being subjected to it on a regular basis, but for adults it seems like one of those things you just have to do and delaying an important medical procedure over it is wild.

    • Anonymous says

      Where on earth are they going to get the money for that volume of testing? Are they administering the tests at school or requiring parents to take kids to the pediatrician and have it billed to insurance?

    • Anonymous says

      My kids’ school isn’t doing this (yet) but a neighbor’s private school is. I’m fuzzy on details, but I know theirs is not random, they are doing weekly batch testing and catching the whole school population each month or so. They are using the less-invasive nasal swabs. I think the idea is not to reflect community spread, it’s to identify asymptomatic cases so action can be taken to minimize the potential for an outbreak.

      I wouldn’t be thrilled about my kids getting a sinus swab on a regular basis, but I feel 1. being a part of a community comes with certain responsibilities to keep the community safe, and 2. a Q tip up my kids’ noses is a small price to pay to save lives, so I wouldn’t actively oppose it.

      I can’t imagine they’re planning on doing sinus swabs for all, though. We had to get tested recently and my 5 and 7 year olds were VERY uncooperative. There’s no way they can do that at scale in a school setting. The less invasive tests – either nasal swab or saliva – are a little less accurate, but still a far sight better than nothing. Whatever is lost in accuracy is made up for by ease of adoption.

    • octagon says

      Ours isn’t doing this, but I have seen some interesting studies about testing wastewater to determine the presence and concentration of the virus. They were able to predict a rise in cases before testing confirmed it.

    • Anonymous says

      NYC is doing this, in schools. It is free, and if you don’t give permission your kid isn’t tested, but you are strongly encouraged to give permission. From what I can tell all 5 kids in my son’s cohort were tested at their first random test day. They are using the “shallow swab,” although he still said it was uncomfortable. If you want more info, the DOE explains it here: https://www.schools.nyc.gov/school-year-20-21/return-to-school-2020/health-and-safety/covid-19-testing

      I’m surprised people are against it on this board – as far as I know it has been a non-issue locally, and it seems like an obvious thing to do to keep the community safe. Keep in mind middle and high school students can spread COVID as easily as adults can. My husband is a teacher, so I may be biased, but it seems logical, especially in areas where there is significant community spread. As to where we are getting the money – NY is going bankrupt fighting COVID. Testing is free.

    • SC says

      I would be vehemently opposed to testing my child unless medically necessary, especially if it’s the full nasal swab. I might even withdraw him from school over it, if it were a regular and randomized thing. The nasal swab is really painful, and doing (or allowing) a painful, not medically necessary test on children makes me really uncomfortable. (If a pediatrician recommended testing based on symptoms and potential exposure, of course I’d have him tested, but OP’s example seems more widespread and randomized.) Children can’t consent for themselves, and they are required to be in school unless a parent can adequately home school them–so you basically have the state compelling minors who cannot consent to undergo a painful test that isn’t medically necessary for them. If the purpose is to gain information on community spread, rather than to identify individual cases, that’s even worse.

      Also, because of my son’s special needs, which include sensory and behavioral issues, I’d be very concerned that both the person taking the test and my son would end up in an unsafe situation. I’m literally thinking of the horrifying video where the 6 year old with ASD was arrested at school. My son panics when he’s nervous, and panics more when he’s in pain, and that triggers a fight or flight response (usually fight) that he cannot control. For testing my son to be safe for everyone involved, he would need to be prepared, with a parent, in a familiar environment, and preferably with a familiar healthcare provider. (This is how we handle shots.) There are many, many children with a huge range of special needs. How would they be accommodated, or would they be exempt from testing?

      I would also have concerns about funding. If it’s coming from the school district, do public health experts believe that’s the best way to spend the money? Do the teachers have adequate PPE and other supplies to protect themselves? If parents/insurance are paying, what about students who aren’t insured? Will insurance even cover the test if it’s not medically indicated and ordered by a physician?

      • Anonymous says

        I would have some concerns that in-school testing would not be conducted properly and would risk spreading the virus. For example, unless the testing were conducted outdoors, it’s likely that kids would be breathing each other’s exhaled virus particles during the test. I also wouldn’t want my child subjected to invasive nasopharyngeal swabs at school.

        On the other hand, I wouldn’t want my kid attending school with children whose parents refused to allow them to be tested via the less invasive nasal swab if it could be done safely. Yes, your child’s special needs are entitled to appropriate accommodations, until those needs infringe upon other children’s right to a safe environment. There was a kid in another class at our elementary school who had regular outbursts and threw chairs. The teacher had a “safety plan” to get the other kids out of the room every time it happened. When parents raised concerns, the principal refused to remove the child from the classroom because “he has special needs so we can’t do anything.” Why were the “needs” of one child, which were clearly not being met if he was still throwing chairs, more important than the needs of the other 25 kids in the class?

        • Anon says

          I think the risk of being exposed during the test is very real. I originally planned to get DH and me tested before seeing my parents over the holidays, but…we’re basically completely self-isolating and at the testing center we’d have to wait on line with dozens of other people, many of whom are potentially sick/symptomatic. Theoretically they’re supposed to be in masks but a) some won’t be and b) even if everyone were masked, it’s more indoor exposure to people than we’ve had this whole pandemic. I’m just not sure the risks outweigh the benefits, assuming we stay symptom free and do our best to isolate before their visit. Obviously if we have any symptoms we’ll have to go get a test.

      • Anonymous says

        To your second paragraph’s point, my kids do not have any diagnosable special needs, and the covid test was still not a safe situation. My super chill 4 year old handled it like a champ, but the two older kids hid, cried, and fought. With a parent in the room, having been prepared for the test, having watched the parent get the test first, etc etc.
        This is why I assume no school would plan on doing the sinus swabs. spit-in-a-tube tests, sure.

      • Anonymous says

        Oh my god get a grip. If parents don’t consent it isn’t done. That’s it.

        • SC says

          I didn’t know that. It’s not being done in my area, and OP didn’t say what school district she’s in. I mean, of course the parent has to consent, but if they refuse to test, does that mean the kid can’t come to school/does virtual learning?

    • Anon says

      OP here. I will update on how things go if/when it happens. I think there are still a lot of questions to be answered and even our superintendent is waiting for more info. The rumor mill says the tests will be the shallow nasal swabs. I think other areas in our state have had to close because they haven’t been able to actually implement the mandate. It will be interesting to see how it goes here. Hopefully we can get numbers back under control. Thank you for the input!

  7. anon says

    Reposting since I was in m0d for most of yesterday. Thank you to the kind people who responded late in the day. :)

    Hi all, long time reader of the regular s ite, first time over here! I found out on Friday that I’m pregnant. Turns out it wasn’t just the election drama making me queasy! I spent the weekend alternating between complete freakouts and moments of elation. My situation is a bit complicated…
    I’m 41. I sort of always knew that I wanted a child in the abstract sense, but I was never the person who goes crazy about newborns. I even considered having a child on my own in my late 30s but never acted on it. I have been dating a guy long distance since the winter (although we’ve known each other for several years). Long distance during COVID has of course been a challenge, but we’ve been able to see each other a couple of times per month. And, apparently the last time resulted in this…ooops. We’ve talked about having a child before and we both agreed that we sort of were leaning towards wanting one (but I knew time was kinda running out for me) but we never talked about having one together. So, even though I am feeling freaked out, I’m also thinking this is my one chance to have a child. (Not having it is not an option for me at this time.)

    I haven’t told him yet (I’ve only known since Friday night). I’m being a total chicken. In my mind, I would be totally fine raising this bebe (said in a Moira Rose voice) on my own, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to want to be involved. But I can’t work where he lives, so he would have to move to my state (which he has expressed an interest in before). I just feel so apprehensive about how much I’m about to change his life. And I’m not even 100% I want to marry him or anything (I know it’s not needed). He’s a very good guy, but this level of commitment? Oh boy. Not ready for that.

    Any advice for the first trimester? Or for co-parenting with someone you’ve only dated for a short time (whether you remain together or not)? I’m only 4 weeks in so it’s very early. Have my first prenatal appt booked for week 7. Am already taking prenatals. Feeling pretty OK other than fatigue (lots of naps now thanks to WFH).

    Thank you for letting me vent over my anxiety!

    • Cb says

      No first hand experience but Jamilah Lemieux is a contributor to Slate’s parenting podcast and got pregnant early on in a relationship. She seems to have a great co-parenting relationship, including a cross-country move. Perhaps some of her early parenting writing would help with navigating this.

    • ElisaR says

      congratulations! this is a huge one. (right below was “who do you use for christmas cards?” and i was like whoah…. can’t move on to cards quite yet….. i must respond to this internet stranger!!

      my best friend had a baby at 41 using a sperm donor. baby is about to turn 1 this month. so it 100% can be done.

      seems your question is more about the relationship aspect of things. only you can figure that out. i think you say exactly what you’ve said here. i really have nothing to add – you seem to understand the situation and are approaching it responsibly….. only time will tell how he will feel and respond to it all. good luck. life will never be the same and it’s absolutely going to be amazing.

    • Anonymous says

      Your job is to take care of yourself, take care of your baby, and be honest with him. It is not to figure out for him if he will move, take on his emotions, decide rn that you’re ready for any commitment he wants, or make any vows to him. “Steve. I’m pregnant.”

    • Anonymous says

      So first, congratulations! It’ll be great. There are probably a lot of resources online about coparenting. I will say, whether you like it or not you’re committed to this guy for the rest of your life because of your child. Take it step by step. See how involved he wants to be, if he moves, then take it from there. You’re job is to take care of your health/baby right now.

    • Calling it says

      I call troll. What surprise pregnancy is discovered at 4 weeks? Even blood tests aren’t typically done that early, unless you are in intense IVF.

      • Anon says

        Huh?! 4 weeks is when you miss your period, and most women find out. My second pregnancy was a surprise and I found out at 4 weeks because my period was several days late. Are you the tr0ll?

      • anon OP says

        I’m not a troll, promise. I took 3 home pg tests over the weekend, all were positive.

      • Cate says

        I always knew at 4 weeks! OP, sorry you got called out – I believe you!

        Good luck! Congrats! Take care of yourself and just remember that parenting is fun, as well as hard – if you read this board you’ll see more of the hard than the fun because that’s what we have to reach out with questions about.

      • anon OP says

        I’m so confused by this comment. Isn’t this when most pregnancies are discovered? My cycle is only 24 days so I have definitely gone one week over my missed period at this point, and I’ve had three positive home pg tests.

        • Anon says

          Yes. You’re technically “2 weeks pregnant” when you conceive, and then you’re usually 4 weeks pregnant on the day your period is due so if your cycle is consistent and you test as soon as you miss your period, you would know at 4 weeks. Many women experience symptoms like breast soreness even before their missed period. I don’t know what this poster is smoking.

      • Anon says

        My “low key” IUI (vs “intense IVF”) blood tested me at 4 weeks, and it was positive. Check your facts.

    • Clementine says

      Take it one day at a time. All of it. Always. That’s the only advice.

      Also, Congratulations!!! A friend just celebrated her 43rd birthday with her one year old, her soon to be husband (baby’s dad) and her elementary school aged stepkid to be. She’s somebody who wanted to be a parent but (in her words) ‘sort of thought that ship had sailed and had made peace with it.’ Relationships are hard in general but clear and open communication, continual respect, and both giving 100% every day are usually the answers.

      (Also, friend is very VERY happy, Baby is adorable, they’re planning a COVID elopement, and it’s a really happy story in general.)

      • Anon OP says

        Thank you, love this story. The dad-to-be (if all goes well) who doesn’t yet know he’s a dad-to-be is a really good guy and adores his nieces and nephews, so even if we don’t work out I have no doubt we can coparent well together. He’s really kind and nurturing. So that’s good!

    • Spirograph says

      Congratulations! No advice on the co-parenting aspect, but I agree with others that you just need to be honest with the father, give him time to process the news and decide how much he wants to be involved, and then see how your relationship evolves from there. FWIW, my SIL got pregnant early in her relationship with BIL. They married when their daughter was 4 years old, and before that they lived together and apart at different times. There are lots of “right” ways to do this, you just have to find what works for the two of you.

      As for first trimester, you are doing everything right so far. Take naps. Take deep breaths. Be kind to yourself. 2020 is insane, and yours just got a little more so (but in a good way). We internet strangers are here for you, and I hope you also have supportive friends and family to lean on, because pregnancy is a wild ride, and long-distance pregnancy during a pandemic that shut down normal life seems like it might be even more so! On the plus side, you probably don’t have to worry about the perennial question, “how do I avoid alcohol at work and social events before I’m ready to tell everyone I’m pregnant?” :)

    • Anon says

      Congrats!! Wishing you all the best. It’s great you think he is a really good guy. That’s so important for a father and co-parent. There’s really no way to know what is going to happen, but I would try to stay open to possibilities, if you think he would be a positive part of your child’s life (and perhaps yours as well in some capacity). I wish you joy in the future and patience during the challenges.

    • No Face says

      Congrats and good luck!

      No advice about co-parenting. I just want to add that I was never a baby person before I had kids. I think it is a great for motherhood, because I like it more and more each year!

    • Lily says

      Congratulations again. The one thing I would add to the other posters is that I recommend getting set up with a therapist or other neutral party for continued support during your pregnancy and afterwards. You are going to have a lot of emotions (as you should!) and given the suddenness, it might be good to have some support lined up if you need it.

    • Bbbette says

      Congratulations!! No advice on the relationship side, although I do know two couples who went through something similar. One couple seems really happy and the other couple doesn’t so… I guess it’s just as variable as any other set of relationship circumstances?

      I just had my baby a few months ago and I will say there are a lot of silver linings to being pregnant right now… not having to deal with strangers getting all up in your business, not having to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes, not struggling with FOMO (because no one is traveling or partying right now) and, if you’re lucky enough to work from home, not having to be visibly pregnant at work.

      Good luck to you, with the father-to-be and with the pregnancy! Keep us posted.

    • Anon says

      Minted has great quality but a high price to match. I’ve also used and liked TinyPrints. I used Shutterfly last year and got a great deal and was pleased with the quality, but my mother and sister also used them and their cards had weird faded areas on them, so the quality is hit-or-miss.

      • Anokha says

        For Minted: Is it easy to handwrite messages on the postcards? My plan is to print a picture on the back, but then individually handwrite a message to the recipient using a marker or pen.

        • Anon says

          I don’t know that, sorry! I have only gotten the kind you stick in envelopes

      • Anon says

        I used Minted last year and really liked the quality. I am using them again this year. I just got a 20% off code in the mail (their deal on the website is 15% off). I used Simply to Impress in the past, but I HATE the name. The quality and price were good, though. I have not liked Walgreens.

    • anonamama says

      Simply to Impress! Have used them consistently for about 5 years and always happy with the end project and price. They’ve added more foil/fancy options, similar to Minted, and some humorous pandemic designs.

      • OP says

        Ok so this is who I’ve always used. I just got mine yesterday and they’re…fine. I should probably just chill and send them. They just didn’t wow me the way they have in the past, but these are non-photo cards, which I’ve never ordered from them before.

        • anonamama says

          Bummer. What about reaching out to their customer service? They seem to value their return customers, so it might be worth putting that in a message and seeing if they would reprint. Good luck!

    • Anon says

      Shutterfly, they hold 50% off sales regularly. I get the temptation to make it fancy, but pretty much everybody throws them away in January, so then I remember it’s not worth the cost.

    • Anon says

      Vistaprint and usually on a black friday or cyber monday sale (so I always make sure I have my photos done before then). We send around 150, so decent quality and good price are key for me. I also order stamps online in advance (should do that today), and then I print my own address labels.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      We use Shutterfly for both holiday cards and annual photobooks and I’m happy with their quality. I don’t know if other sites have this feature, but on Shutterfly, you can include the addresses of the people you want to send them to and Shutterfly can mail them for you! The addresses are saved, so after year 1 it is a very quick process. I know some people like to write hand notes to each individual family member, but I prefer the time saving. I actually keep other people’s cards year over year, and I’m most interested in seeing pics of their families over the years, so the lack of personalization doesn’t bother me.

  9. AwayEmily says

    My 4.5yo has recently developed an interest in workbooks, sticker books, etc. So far she’s enjoyed a book of easy mazes (“My First Mazes” from Target, highly recommend), some dot-to-dots, a Peppa Pig preschool activity book, and an alphabet sticker book.

    Do you have any specific links/recs for this type of thing? Assume she is a very average preschooler — she definitely can’t read, she’s still figuring out lowercase letters, etc.

  10. Anonymous says

    We’re preparing to move cross country, which will involve driving ~12 hours with our 24 mo toddler. Should we try to do the trip in one shot, maybe starting around midday so that we take advantage of naptime and bedtime? Or should we take two days and spread it out? Toddler is generally a decent traveler/ flexible kid, but about as high-energy as they come…

    • AwayEmily says

      We’ve done a 12-hour trip both ways (with a 2yo and 4yo), and VASTLY preferred the all-in-one-shot approach, especially in a time of COVID when stopping is so fraught anyway. We basically went from 12pm – 12am with just one stop halfway through for a picnic dinner outside. The kids slept for about an hour during naptime, and then for the last 4-5 hours.

      • Anon says

        Your family can go 6 hours without a bathroom break! I’m lucky if I can go 2 and that’s for myself.

        • SC says

          Me too! We had a road trip in 2019 where we stopped every 90 minutes at least because I was sick and had a terrible cough, which led to bladder control issues if I was even trying to hold it. Our 9.5 hour trip took 12, and it was 100% my fault.

    • Anon says

      We’re doing a similar drive for vacation and planning to do it all in one day. I figure either way the driving day(s) will be pretty miserable and unfun, and I’d rather get it all over with in one day and have more days to enjoy our trip.

    • Spirograph says

      With a toddler, all in one shot. Older kids it’s worth finding a Fun Thing to stop near around halfway and making a 2 day trip of it (motels are also VERY exciting for kids), but with a two year old I’d just try to rip the bandaid off as quickly as possible.

      Your plan sounds pretty good. What has worked well for us is, 1 parent takes the kids to the playground in the morning while the other parent finishes packing the car. Dual purpose keeping the kid from being underfoot and physically tiring the kid out. Then we leave just be for lunch, eat within the first 30 min, and kid usually falls asleep very soon after.

    • FP says

      We have done this length of a drive several times with my two toddlers. We typically pack the car the night before and get up insanely early – like 3:30 or 4 am – and get everything totally ready to go. When the car is on and we are about to leave, we wake up kiddos, do a quick diaper change, and get on the road. Sometimes they go back to sleep, sometimes not. We try to make it 3.5 hours at a time between stops. Then, when we arrive at the location, it’s late afternoon. Kids still have time to play and burn energy, and the driver parent takes a nap. Driver parent wakes up at 7 from nap, puts kid to bed, and the passenger / afternoon parent gets to go to sleep early.

  11. Twin scooters says

    Two questions – can anyone recommend a good toddler scooter that is less pricey than the micro mini? Second, best helmet? Thank you for any suggestions.

    • Anonymous says

      If you are in a city, micro minis are often available used for not much money, and they last for years. I think we got at least 3 years of use out of ours. Bought it used for $30, and sold it for the same amount. We did replace the brake and handle grips.

    • Anonymous says

      No cheaper alternative – but my kiddo rode her micro mini for a really long time so it was worth the $—age 2.5 to age 6. It held up well and is waiting for kid #2 to use.

    • Anon says

      We love the micro mini. We have one adjustable and one not. I recommend the adjustable. I am sure you can get one used, though.
      For helmets, our kids love the Nutcase ones, but they’re not cheap. We also have cheaper ones, but we call them all by useless names so I don’t know the brand (e.g. fish helmet), but they were at the bike shop, so probably Giro or Bell.

  12. Anon says

    Has anyone done Outschool classes with an old 2 year old/young 3 year old? My 2.75 year old looooves to dance, but all the dance classes in our area for children are indoors and do not have any kind of mask requirement, so I don’t feel very comfortable sending her (especially mid-surge) and I was wondering if Outschool might be good. I think she’s getting to the point where she can stay reasonably engaged with the screen and follow directions from an adult even over the computer.

    • Audrey III says

      I have not done outschool, but I’ll put in a plug for seeing if there are dance studios outside your area that are offering virtual classes. I have my 2.75 YO in a virtual “progressive” class at TinyDancers in northern virginia (www dot tinydancers dot com), and she loves it! It took a couple weeks with her doing the class with the same teacher for her to do OK with it, so I wonder with Outschool being one-offs if it would be harder for her to get into it — my daughter had to develop a familiarity with her teacher before she was willing to meaningfully participate.

  13. CHL says

    Does anyone have a light up or reflective vest for their kids? The 6 – 9 crowd on our block like to play out in the front yards (masked) in the afternoon / evening, which now starts at like 4 pm. I can just get a random one online but thought the moms on here might have a better targeted recommendation.

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