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Personally, I prefer my blazers in solid colors, but I really like the interesting diamond print on this washable, stretch-knit blazer from NYDJ. I do wish Nordstrom offered a closeup image of the pattern like they usually do, but zooming in can give you a pretty good idea of what it looks like (and Nordstrom offers free returns anyway). I also like the collarless style.
I don’t think the matching pants are exactly office-friendly, however — NYDJ calls them “skinny pull-on pants,” but they look almost like leggings. If you’re interested, though, they’re available at NYDJ Vault (their sale site) for $53.97 (sizes 00–18). Note that they’re final sale.
The blazer is available in sizes XXS–XL and is $139 at Nordstrom. Bay City Blazer
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
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- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Solo walk to school says
When would you let your kid walk to school by themselves?
Our circumstances:
– currently in K, turns 6 in January
– sidewalks 95% of the way
– cross no major roads, school is within our neighborhood
– he can navigate his way to school over three separate routes from our house
My gut tells me second grade. What do you think?
Cb says
For me, it would depend on if there were other kids walking that he could tag along with? Or if there are are quite a few adults walking their kids? I’d worry less about crossing roads than dummies backing out of their driveways.
OP says
Good questions. No other kids walking — this is the catholic school nearby, not public, so fewer families go. We do see some adults out walking in the morning, but today we saw none. No one even getting out of the house!
NYCer says
How long is the walk? 5 min? 20 min? Would he be totally alone or with a friend? Are there lots of other kids/families walking to school along the same routes?
Second grade seems really young to me, but admittedly I haven’t lived in the suburbs for years, so I definitely
could be out of touch. I would think maybe fourth grade? My answer might change if your neighborhood is full of kids/families walking to the same school and/or if he were walking with a friend.
OP says
Oh that would be good information – a solid 10 min if we don’t do too much dawdling but it ends up being close to 15. Totally alone, no other families walking to school and, in general, we see almost no one out when we walk (normally we leave the house between 8:10 and 8:15).
Anon says
Your school may have a policy. Ours doesn’t allow kids to walk solo until 4th.
Anon says
+1. Ours too.
TheElms says
Do you know anyone that lives along the route in case there was an issue? Or could you attempt to make a friend or two for this purpose? Kids walk alone at third grade in my suburb, but that’s likely because the local elementary is split K-2 and 3-5 (weird, but true). Also there is a huge road to cross but it has crossing guards and plenty of signs and a traffic light. 2nd seems fine to me, but I think it really is a kid/location dependent question. I’d probably start by walking 3/4 of the way with your kid and then 1/2 way, etc. and see how it goes.
Anonymous says
I think this is kid dependent. I have second grade boys on each side of my house. One could absolutely do it, and the other absolutely could not. I’m not sure there is a clear answer here.
Anon says
+1, although I think around 2nd grade is the absolute minimum for going alone. I’m letting my 2 and K walk together this year but it’s a 5 min walk, I can see them almost the entire way from my windows, and they’re together. I didn’t let my super responsible 2 walk alone last year (when she was in 1) just because she still had a little maturity to gain. This year I think she’d be fine even without a sibling.
Anonymous says
First grade
GCA says
I’d say at least 2nd grade, and depends on the kid, the time taken, and the distance. 5 minutes one street over, sure. 15 minutes and half to 1 mile, I’d wait till maybe 4th.
I know my kindergartner knows the way to his school in our neighborhood, a 10 minute walk away (15 if you dawdle), and would be able to help direct Grandma or Grandpa to walk him home if they were visiting, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with him doing it solo till he was older.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree it’s kid dependent – my older kid is not in public school yet but our elementary school is also walkable, although you have to cross a busy street, and I’m thinking 3rd/4th grade is the earliest I would let him walk by himself. We’ve got other kids in the neighborhood who walk too – they look to be in the late elementary years.
Anonymous says
One thing kids in my ‘hood do (where there is one death trap street and otherwise walkable) is to have a parent walk to school as school is getting out so you meet close to school and then further and further away as the kiddo gets older.
One kid of mine would want to just stay and play on the playground with friends and would never come home. Eventually, they had to navigate the deathtrap (which I’ve had issues with — people speeding around the bend texting in their starbucks order for the store on the corner), but even adults have issues with that (never mind kids shorter than dashboards).
Anon says
age 10. that is when i was allowed to walk home from our neighborhood pool.
anon says
Our elementary school is 0.3 miles from our house and requires crossing two neighborhood (aka not very busy) streets. I have twins, so they’ll always have company, and when school is in session there are tons of people walking that way in the morning, including solo kids. Second grade is about when we’re thinking it would be reasonable to send them on their own.
I grew up in a rural area, but I walked home alone from the bus stop starting in first grade, which involved following a path through the woods.
Anonymous says
I think I’d be ok with my 2nd grader doing this. And with him and my K daughter doing it together for sure. It is really kid dependent, as others have said. My 2nd grader would probably not WANT to walk alone, but he’s perfectly capable of doing it safely.
anon says
2nd grade is probably the earliest I’d do it, but I agree it’s kid-dependent. I have noticed in a few cases, the parents will walk the kids halfway and let them finish the rest of the route. That seems like a good compromise if your schedule allows it.
Anonymous says
I’m so surprised to see all the 4th grade answers! I have a kindergartener in a residential neighborhood of a medium sized city and in Pre pandemic times Had planned to let him walk 6 blocks to school alone Next year – has thought kindergarten but there are two big streets to cross. (I think he’s ready but he doesn’t seem to think so, which might be our limiting factor – no opportunities to practice going anywhere alone in covid times). I’m not THAT old and was allowed to walk to the store with a friend – a mile- by age 8 in my residential/suburban neighborhood, and to walk to a slightly closer store in my friend’s urban neighborhood at 7. Was also allowed to go to the very closed playground by 7.
Anon says
Ha same. I walked to school alone since I was in first grade, with one other first grade friend. But I know times have changed…
Aunt Jamesina says
Yes, times have changed, but kids are actually statistically safer in the US than when we were kids. The only real change is public perception of safety :-)
OP says
Yes! I do know this – I’m familiar with all kinds of safety statistics. That still doesn’t change my fear that OTHER people are going to find this problematic and call police/CPS. I have heard horror stories and I am just not interested in testing the waters, which is a shame because I really think that in a couple of years my kid will be able to handle it.
Anonymous says
I am not worried about my kid being kidnapped, but getting hit by a car. I probably have some anxiety about pedestrians and cars, but my mom was seriously injured by a car as a pedestrian (she was on a sidewalk, so not really preventable by her).
Aunt Jamesina says
Totally get it, OP, and I completely get why people would be reluctant to do this because of perception!
anon says
I think it depends on the kid and the traffic. I let my middle child walk to school during off school hours to go to the playground by himself starting at 2nd grade (but I don’t let my youngest go by herself because she is not as responsible), assuming that I knew other parents would be there. However, they weren’t allowed to walk to school by themselves until my oldest was in 5th grade (so 5th grade/3rd grade, but not with the 1st grader because I can’t trust her to listen), because the morning traffic is crazy and I don’t trust the other parents driving. (This could be solved by getting up earlier, I suppose.). We had a similar walk (about 7 minutes, crossing two streets), but traffic at dropoff is no joke.
Anonymous says
Right now. It used to be a test of kindergarten readiness in the 1970s if your kid could walk to local places by him or herself.
Anonymous says
Actual readiness is a very individual decision that depends on the kid’s situational awareness, ability to handle street crossings, and problem-solving skills. In terms of whether you’ll get a visit from CPS, though, it depends very much on where you live and how judgmental your neighbors are. Here in VA I’d never let an elementary kid walk alone, as the informal rule of thumb is that kids must be at least 12 to be unsupervised. Our school district requires parents to meet kids at the bus stop through grade 3, and kids can’t leave the building without going straight to a bus or being signed out by a parent until middle school.
Anonymous says
My oldest is in second grade, and that seems too young. My kids are in public school, but I think they will only dismiss walkers to a parent until fourth grade. It is a ten minute walk to school at the rate my kids walk, and there are a fair number of kids walking to school. There is one neighborhood street to cross, and a bigger street to cross. The bigger street is right by the school, and has a crossing guard and a policeman. In the morning, we walk my second grader to the bigger road, and he crosses the street and walks the rest of the way by himself. In the evening we pick him up from the second grade walker dismissal.
Doodles says
Can anyone recommend a label maker? I have about 20 large plastic containers in the basement with kids clothes. I anticipate keeping these for at least three more years before donating. To find stuff for my youngest child, I end up having to open half the bins before finding the right size. If not a label maker, what systems to you use to organize? Thanks.
Anonymous says
We have the faciest of systems. Masking or painter’s tape with a Sharpie.
Anon says
Hah, same!
Anonymous says
+1 this is the easiest solution.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is what I do. Works great. Tape both the top and the side so it’s easier to see when they’re all stacked on top of each other.
Anonymous says
Same!
Cb says
I’d use big sticky labels for this rather than a label maker, easier to see from the outside.
Anonymous says
Don’t keep 20 containers worth of clothes!
Anon says
This. I don’t even know how you accumulate that much clothing in the first place. I had 2 large storage bins before I donated most of our 0-5T clothes.
ElisaR says
haha agree. 20 is….. excessive.
Anon says
This. We have really small closets and live in 4 seasons, so have to keep any non-fitting and/or off-season clothes in bins, and I still don’t think we have 20 bins for our entire family. Pare it down to 1-2 bins of growing-into and one bin of off-season per person. We do this and then use a color-coding system where each family member has their own color.
It’s tempting to keep a ton of hand-me-downs but I’ve found that we always end up getting a few new clothes at each age so can’t wear more than half a bin or so of new clothes. And we don’t keep clothes more than 2 sizes up, now that they’re out of the baby sizes. At this age, they have strong opinions on what they wear, and what they like now will not be the case 2 sizes from now. (My former dress-and-leggings-only daughter is now, at age 7.5 but size 6, only a jeans and athletic tee girl.)
Anonymous says
Yes to strong opinions. We have a ton of clothes from my nephew, but his style veers preppy with nice jeans, sweaters and collared shirts, and my son (7.5) flat out refuses to wear anything except athletic apparel unless it’s a clear dress-up occasion. When we went to church, I could get some use out of it, but we have a whole year of nice clothes going unused right now. Also nephew and son have very different body types, so the pants flat out don’t fit (even if son would wear them).
OP, I would encourage you to think of hand-me-downs as a favor to the giver more than a favor to you. Sure, be thankful that they thought of you, but you don’t need to feel obligated to use all the clothes; the giver was almost certainly thrilled to get them out of her house!
Doodles says
I know believe me ugh. I have so much because I have 2 kids same gender and they’re the youngest in the family and from our friends so we received a bunch of hand me downs unsolicited. I basically never actually buy any clothes. Once we’re done having kids, I will for sure donate it all! Luckily we have a very large basement.
Thanks for the reminder I’m making this too complicated. Masking tape it is!
Spirograph says
So, +1 to getting rid of some of this stuff, because I seriously doubt that your kids will wear everything in those 20 boxes! You don’t have to wait til kids outgrow it. We had a bunch of hand-me-downs and I spent a rainy day going through all of them to get rid of anything I didn’t like, or that was not in good condition, and felt so great afterward! I had a giant pile for donation and an equally giant pile to recycle. Get rid of everything outgrown and stained/visibly worn asap unless you love it so much that you’ll be happy to put another baby in it. Personally, I also got rid of almost everything my kids would take more than 2 years to grow into because I just don’t have the storage space (exceptions for expensive items like good winter coats and the few things I just really liked), but you do you.
After the purge, masking tape and sharpie. I divide by season rather than strictly by size. So summer 4-6 and winter 4-6 rather than box of mixed seasons but all size 4. I do try to keep the piles within the box to one size, but after 4 my kids can usually wear a range so it doesn’t matter too much.
Realist says
You do you, but clothes stored in basements can get a mustiness that won’t wash out. With more clothes than you need for any future children, consider keeping only what you love for each season and donate the rest. A lot of kids in need warm clothes right now. And having more than you need is a burden you might not notice until it is gone. Keeping only your favorite, best items and donating 12-15 totes to get that space and freedom back would be worth it, IMO. Also, speaking from experience, I help sort donated clothes for babies and toddlers for a nonprofit. It is always so sad when someone donates clothes that were poorly stored for decades and very dated (like expensive, fancy clothes for 80s babies). Such a waste. Someone could have used and would have appreciated those clothes when they were in good condition and in style. For what you do keep, I suggest getting silica packets and replacing them each year to help with moisture management/mustiness. Unless you are running a good dehumidifier year round, basements are not a good environment for clothing storage.
anon says
So, I’m sensing you feel beholden to use these hand-me-downs, and I want to tell you that you’re really, really not. :) Your home does not need to be the storage unit for the whole extended family. Perhaps I’m too picky, but I think it’s FINE to choose what you really like and think will be useful, and donate the rest.
Anon says
I’m the sister and SIL passing hand-me-downs to my siblings’ kids. I always try to explicitly state something like “take what you want and pass on or donate the rest” so they don’t feel the need to keep it all. I’m sure they don’t intend for you to keep each piece. If you feel like you need to perform gratefulness, I would suggest you keep a piece or two from each “donation” and make a point to send a photo the first time your kid wears that outfit, then feel no qualms about donating the rest.
I got a few hand-me-downs that were many years old. I pulled a few pieces for each gender and added a safety pinned note saying “from Cousin S” to our Future Sizes Bin. Then I know to take a photo when I pull it out and who to send it to.
Anonymous says
Perhaps the OP can take one tub at a time to a donation site during a -20 degree all day outdoor walk with the kiddos. Just bundle up, grab a Thermos, get out of the house, and get rid of the stuff you still want.
Anonymous says
I see where you’re going with this but your comedic efforts just get a B from me.
anon says
I thought it was hilarious, so YMMV.
Anonymous says
ehhhh B+
Pogo says
I inherited almost this much from SIL. I had a weird thing feeling like I needed to use them bc she saved them for me? But after first kid I’ve weeded MUCH more heavily as I put them away so now I prob have 8-10. They were labeled when she gave them to me but not now… I just open them til I find the right one! Really efficient.
Anonymous says
Painters tape and sharpie. Also agree that 20 bins is wildly excessive unless you have kids spanning from age 1 to 10. In which case i would just buy new clothes except for winter gear.
Anon says
I just write on Post It’s and tape them so they’re visible/facing outward.
No Face says
We print on normal pieces of paper and tape them to the bins.
anonamama says
My label maker is actually a pain in the ass for this type of thing – it’s a handheld Brother model. Never sticks to plastic storage boxes, but will stick to our lightswitch and walls for years. I have had better luck with clear packing tape and sharpie.
anon says
Advice on weaning from formula? My son is 11 months, and currently drinks about 25 oz of formula and eats 3-4 times a day. We plan to slowly introduce cow’s milk about 2-3 weeks from now. My concern is if he is eating enough outside of the milk. He’s not really eating much solid food, a few bites is all he will do. What’s more concerning is that we can’t for the life of us get him to eat vegetables. He’ll eat nut butter, tofu, all fruit, bread and pasta, but not veggies in any form. Admittedly, we may have messed this up by giving him those pouches that are a fruit/veggie mix. How do we get ourselves out of that mess? Just go cold turkey? Ugh, this stuff seems so confusing!
Mathy says
Not sure about weaning from formula, but everything I have read about kids eating new/different foods is exposure. Check out Kids Eat in Color or Big Little Feelings on Instagram.
Mathy says
Should have said “… is all about exposure.” Oops!
ElisaR says
hey good job, you got fruit! don’t blame yourself, maybe he would eat more if you didn’t do pouches but maybe he wouldn’t. who knows?
that is the age where they start enjoying food and eating more in general. i went cold turkey with the formula and straight to milk. the kids seemed to start eating more food around that age anyway and he will be naturally inclined to do so if not getting the calories and such from formula.
Anonymous says
That sounds relatively balanced for a toddler, and I think it is unreasonable to expect a toddler to eat a significant amount of vegetables. I would continue to give the fruit/vegetable pouches to get some vegetables in him. FWIW I have found a cold turkey method more effective. If you give less liquid nutrition, he will be hungrier and eat more food.
Anon says
I think I started by mixing formula with milk to see if the baby cared (he didn’t) and would gradually replace bottles with cups of milk. I think I first swapped the morning bottle with a morning cup and then kept gradually swapping more. Really I probably didn’t need to do that because the baby just did not care at all. 11 months is around when eating patterns start to change, so I wouldn’t worry – they will adjust their eating as they stop drinking formula automatically. At 11 months I was still giving purees + a finger food at most meals – my kid wouldn’t eat sweet potato bits would loved sweet potato puree.
Anokha says
Eight months into this pandemic, I’m hitting the wall in terms of outdoor activities to do with little ones. In the past weeks, we’ve gone hiking, to a pumpkin patch, to the beach, and to the park. Any other suggestions? In the Bay Area.
AwayEmily says
How old are your kids?
Anokha says
They’re about 5 and 1.
Pogo says
We just keep doing different hikes. I’ve also branched out to further afield playgrounds, especially school ones which tend to be empty.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, we do school playgrounds on weekends and they are usually super empty. I also have a mental list of playgrounds at places that ALSO have other things going on (a pond, a short hike, etc) so that if we get there and the playground has too many kids on it, we can do the other thing. I always remind my kids en route that if there are too many kids, we won’t be able to go to the playground. They complained at first but now know the drill.
OtterMom says
Is it your children that are getting bored/tired of doing the same things, or you as parents? I find that kids are more fine with repetition than I am. They would be perfectly happy to go to the same place every weekend, and I have to curb my own desire to keep coming up with something “new” for my own boredom.
Anokha says
Oh man. Honestly, it’s me. Our 5 year old would be totally happy to keep doing these things, but I am getting bored.
OtterMom says
Solution may not be going different places, but perhaps brainstorming new “things” to do at those places. Going on a hike? One day, look for wildflowers, and look them up in a (physical) book. Next time? Birds. Keep track of birds you see (counting, colors), again looking them up. Same for leaves. Look for fossils. Maybe changing up “small picture” things will help the boredom, without needing to come up with new “big picture” things like location?
Anonymous says
There is a mom in my neighborhood who takes her kids to the same park every single day. The park is fenced and they are usually the only family there. She pushes a double jogging stroller filled with snacks, toys, and stuffed animals, and the kids walk. She parks the stroller, closes the gate, picks up a book, and sits on a bench ignoring her kids for like 3 hours. Every time I walk by and see her relaxing, I am envious.
SC says
Those sound like great activities! Revisit a hike you did earlier this year and talk about what’s different. We live near New Orleans and don’t have true seasons and hike in a literal swamp, and we still talk about changes from one season to another–which flowers are blooming, whether the water is high or low, which trees drop their leaves, etc.
My 5 year old likes scavenger hunts. Some of the local parks have them available on their websites, but you can also just find one on the internet or make one up. Or you could try Geocaching if your 5 year old would be into that.
AwayEmily says
Parents of older kids, do you have some comforting stories about your kids becoming more open to new foods as they aged? My 4.5yo is EXTREMELY skeptical of new foods — I can’t even remember the last time she tried something new and liked it (usually she will touch her tongue to it and then reject it). Her diet is overall healthy, since luckily her “like” list includes a wide variety of (plain/raw) fruits and vegetables, and (plain) basics like burgers, pasta, bread, cheese. But it’s frustrating that EVERYTHING new I cook, from simple to complex, gets a “no.” Even slightly different versions of things she likes (roasted broccoli instead of steamed, sauteed apples instead of raw) are rejected.
We take a very chill approach to food and don’t do any “you need to take a bite of everything on your plate.” We do family dinner and serve everyone the same food, including at least two things the kids like for sure. Those are usually the only things she eats. At some point will she be more open to actually trying different food? Is there anything we can do to encourage it?
Anonymous says
Just leave it be. You’re lucky! You know what she likes and it’s providing sufficient nutrition. She’ll probably grow out of it eventually
Mathy says
I made a plug for Kids Eat in Color above — I’d recommend you check it out for this issue too. She talks a lot about picky eating and exposure to new foods. It sounds like you’re doing what you can to encourage healthy eating — just keep it up! We also do a “you don’t have to eat it,” but I do put new foods on the kiddos’ plates. They can leave it on their plate or throw into a “no thank you bowl.”
ElisaR says
i was like that as a kid. i grew out of it around….. 30 years old. (i’m half kidding).
Pogo says
Same, tho I was more like 19.
Anon says
My brother was a very picky eater– mostly ate hot dogs and fast food. Normally, my mom would make a full, healthy meal and he would end up having to eat something else or would just eat the meat + rice, etc. As an adult, he’s very much a “foodie,” but he did not outgrow this until probably college.
anon says
My 9 y/o is VERY picky (even pickier than your child, sadly – he’s a white foods kind of a kid). (He smells and then rejects.). He also has food allergies, which doesn’t help. I’d say very recently he has been trying new things, maybe on average 1 every two months. Very recently he has added steak, pan seared salmon and meatball in tomato sauce to his repertoire (to go with what is basically fruit, rice, bread, and pasta). He also voiced a willingness to try a cheeseburger, but we didn’t actually do it. I don’t think there’s anything you can do other than continue serving new foods. We are also very chill (in part because the drama over food really stressed me out). My other two kids are not nearly as selective.
SC says
My 5 year old tends to reject new foods. We’ve had success with the Kids Eat in Color approach of serving a tiny, tiny amount of a new food (like a teaspoon). It just seems to be less overwhelming that way. We also give Kiddo lots of encouragement to try new foods, and praise when he does–though we’re clear that he never has to.
Anon says
Much, much older than 5, but I was extremely picky until college and now eat everything. Most people do eventually expand their horizons even if it takes until adulthood ;)
Anon says
I know it’s not popular around here or on the foodie grams, but I do enforce a “one bite” rule. I serve small portions and make sure to always have at least one option I know they’ll like, but they have to try one bite of everything. Then they are more than welcome to say no thank you to whatever they don’t like, and can ask for second helpings on anything else. It’s not a power struggle but they don’t get extra snacks or an alternate meal, so I remind them to eat up if they want the energy to play outside or have a dance party or whatever. We’ve never gotten to a point where I was worried about their weight – they’re in the single digit percentiles but have been on that track since birth.
I’m sure it varies dramatically on the kids, but now I have elementary-aged kids who love roasted brussel sprouts (after probably 3-5+ years of taking the tiniest bites) and most fish dishes, and who are willing to try a bite of most foods.
Anonymous says
Well, I became willing to try foods in college, so I’m holding out hope for that. My kid doesn’t even like french fries (?!) and it was a major win when he learned to like pizza. I think you are doing the right things (better than me actually).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Ours kids are similar ages so I can’t tell you when they outgrow things but I am personally super thrilled that my older kid now actually eats broccoli, cucumbers and a couple other veggies in any form and consider this a win! It sounds like yours does too, which I think is the best we can expect from this age. Hot dogs and chicken sticks are still his favorite food, so we just continue to serve “kid foods” with sides of fruits and veggies, and call it a win.
AwayEmily says
Thanks, all. This is helpful perspective and makes me realize that (1) all things considered, I have it pretty good and (2) I’m not missing anything major, it’s just kind of the way some kids are.
avocado says
My 13-year-old would eat literally anything until a little before age 3, when she suddenly became incredibly picky. Around age 8 she figured out exactly what her dealbreakers were (beans, certain textures, mushrooms, potatoes, bitter vegetables, most foods that combine different textures except for rice and noodle dishes) and became much more adventurous about trying other types of new foods. By this point I was pretty sure that there was some type of sensory issue going on, but we didn’t pursue a formal diagnosis because she was eating well enough. By age 10 she had grown to love foods with a wide variety of flavors–Thai, Japanese, Szechuan, Indian, Mexican, you name it–as long as they fit her parameters. So at the Indian restaurant she orders butter chicken, rice, and naan, but not aloo gobi or dal. She asks the chef at the sushi bar to leave the cucumber and avocado out of her maki. At home she eats things like tacos, turkey burgers, and fish sandwiches in a deconstructed state.
Her pickiness does cramp my cooking style somewhat–we eat a lot more chicken and less vegetarian food than I’d like, and I can’t serve some of my favorite dishes unless I have something else on hand for her to eat. The only real problem is when she travels with groups that tend to eat at chain restaurants like Chili’s (she hates most highly processed food) or attends a camp with a limited dining hall menu. She does fine in a college dorm or fancy private school situation where there are plenty of choices.
Anon says
following up on the clothes thread above. i have 2.5 year old twins of the same gender, first grandchildren on both sides of the family. i’ve been instructed to save all clothes in case siblings have children, but siblings live halfway across the country in a different climate – one might have a baby in the next year, but the others should be years away. how do i convince family i dont need to save these clothes forever?
anon says
You don’t? Why is your family dictating this, particularly since these children don’t actually exist?! I would maaayyybe save a couple of special pieces but I certainly wouldn’t hang on to bins of clothing for years and years.
Anonymous says
Exactly this.
My siblings are both still single. I have a small box of very favorite baby clothes I will give to them, but I donate the rest or give to friends.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, now that I am done having kids I sort too-small kids into three categories: (1) donate, (2) give away to a friend immediately (she has a kid 1.5 years younger than my youngest), (3) very special, save for a sibling/grandchild. The third box is small — my kids are now 2.5 and 4 and it has maybe ten things in it.
Anon says
+1 I have an only child but we do the same three categories and box #3 is very small.
anon says
Can you ship them to your parents to hold on to? I would edit and then just send a box every so often and not deal with having it in your house.
Anon says
+1 “I’m getting rid of these clothes. Parents or sibling, would you want to take them in case they are needed in the future?” I’ve noticed that our parents’ generation (boomers) is very into having LOTS OF STUFF and convincing themselves it’s all useful. Whereas I do not want 25 t-shirts per size for my kids. Hand-me-downs are nice only to a point; the grandparents still get kids new clothes every holiday and randomly, and I’ve developed my own sense of style based on what actually fits my kids and what brands have the quality I’m looking for. I’m not wanting to be ungrateful, but I would much rather buy my kid five new outfits that I love than have 30 old outfits taking up the drawers.
I agree that outerwear is another category! I do like having hand me downs of those because you always seem to not have a coat that fits when the weather turns cold.
anon says
100% agree with all of this. I see this so much with my Boomer in-laws. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. Well, I believe that stuff can easily become a burden when you have too much of it! And I totally agree that I have a pretty clear idea of how my kids want to dress, how *I* want them to dress, and I keep a reasonable selection of it around. I’m not a minimalist by any stretch, but kids only need so many clothes before *they* become overwhelmed by it!
Anon says
Ughh my boomer MIL gives me bags of baby clothes that are 40 years old and items my husband wore back in the day. Maybe three items would be fine for sentimental reasons, but she expects me to use bags of all this dated, old stuff? She may have sweet intentions but it is really annoying. I would never choose any of these items. They are not cute.
Anon says
So I always save clothes for my sibling that were bought by grandparents or my sister (future niece or nephew’s aunt) – it seems only fair – but I don’t save the clothes i buy myself or get as hand me downs from others.
Anon says
This. Anything bought by the grandparents gets passed on to a sibling to keep for their kid, anything else gets passed onto people in town.
Anonymous says
“Lol Nope I am not a storage unit. These are gifts right”. And then just don’t do it. You don’t have to convince anyone. Personally, I would save a small selection of particularly nice things but that’s it.
Anonymous says
I would not bother. I shipped clothes to a family member one time. Remember you may be making family happy but you also have to pay for shipping.
Anonymous says
I’m in a similar boat, but I’d actually like to save my giant hoard of baby clothing for my single, childless sisters to use one day if they so wish. But I’ll be sending that hoard of clothes to grandma/grandpa’s much bigger and emptier house for safekeeping. It’s not staying in my home into perpetuity!
Anonymous says
I would hate to be the sister on the receiving end of that burden.
Anonymous says
Send or bring everything to whomever is instructing you to do this.
I have 3 kids and and neither of my siblings have them. They are both much older than I am when I had my first. If they wanted use out of my size 4T clothes it would be a decade of storage. Nope nope nope.
WWYD says
What would you do? We’re trying to decide between two different towns to live in.
1) Town 1 – one of the wealthiest suburbs in my state, 90%+ white, hardly no socioeconomic or racial diversity. Arguably the public school district in the state. Semi walkable to parks, retail centers, schools etc. depending upon where exactly your house is. MUCH smaller than town 2 below, like 10x smaller. Less than 5 miles to both my office and my husband’s office. I have a lot of anxiety about raising grounded children in a town like this and my husband I don’t fit most of the norms of this town, but people that grow up here LOVE it. It’s hard to give up the commute. Also, a home we’d be happy with would cost ~$1.35 million.
2) Town 2 – a very nice, racial and socioeconomically diverse, upper middle class suburb with a top 10 school district in the state. Where we grew up. 20+ miles to our offices. Pre-covid, would be a 45-60 minute commute each way, which is our biggest concern. I work part-time and could easily work out a 1-2x office policy, but it’s not ideal. My firm doesn’t love WFH, but they’ve been willing to accomodate me in the past. My husband works in biglaw and while it was very flexible pre-covid, hard to tell if he could stay partner track if he only went in 3x a week or if he would be okay starting his work at home and leaving at 10 am to avoid traffic. A home we’d be happy with would cost between $850k-$1.15million. Property taxes are 0.5% higher in this town vs. town 1.
anon says
I would worry less about the schools, because both options sound great, and consider the overall quality of life. The cost of living is high in both places — is Town 1 going to stretch you too far? A 45-60 minute commute from Town 2 is going to be a detriment, and you don’t sound overly enthusiastic about your remote work options. I don’t know how to weigh the diversity aspect for you; that’s going to be a highly personal choice. I would lean toward Town 1, but that’s because I know how much I loathe driving back and forth, and I would find that pretty impossible to pull off with school-age children unless I had a spouse closer to home.
OP says
Thank you, that’s helpful to hear. I can pick the kids up daily and shuttle them to activities etc. but hard to tell how it’ll feel to probably do most evenings solo until about 7 pm if husband is hoping to miss traffic on the way home. Our kids are 3 and 1, so I have no idea what school age looks like. Know it would be INCREDIBLY challenging to do bedtime solo 5 days a week at these ages.
I don’t know how I feel about the lack of socioeconomic diversity, i don’t know how healthy it is for children to not have any perspective of what it takes to have Town 1’s lifestyle. There’s not really much below a $1mm in town 1 vs. in town 2, we can easily find homes for $400k+ so there’s just a lot more built in socioeconomic diversity.
Forgot to mention that Town 2 is where both sets of grandparents live. While they’ve been very willing to drive to Town 1, it would obviously be easier to be in the same town. We have a very good realtionship with them.
Anon says
i am just so jealous that regardless you’ll be close to both set of grandparents. i have 2.5 year old twins and i typically do solo dinner + bedtime 3-4 times per week. pre-covid, i did solo dinner + bedtime 5 times a week (mon-thurs) and DH would usually be home for bedtime, though not dinner on Fridays. i just have to say , hearing someone else say it would be challenging to do bedtime solo 5 days a week during the toddler years makes me feel better about the fact that i am usually SO exhausted by the time i’m done. if you prefer town 2 and DH isn’t home, could each set of grandparents have a night that is theirs to help?
Anon says
this is my sentiment exactly. while houses in town 2 are less expensive, the property tax rate is a tiny bit higher, gas costs (which i know is cheap, but still), wear & tear on cars, whether you’d hire out more bc you’d have less time at home, etc. i wonder how much of a difference the cost really is
Anonymous says
+1 – given current mortgage rates, $200k more house is not that expensive (relative to what you are paying anyways…. let’s be serious – if you can afford >$1 mm you aren’t going to buy a $850k house..) This will save you 1 – 1.5 hours EVERYDAY (>30 min differential in commute each way). Unless grandparents are coming over every day i bet they will do the 30 min drive.
FVNC says
If these are the only options and you can afford a home in Town 1, I’d choose Town 1 solely for the commute.
We’ve relocated a number of times for my husband’s job (I’m a remote employee even in normal times) and have lived in places where he’s had anywhere from a 15 min commute to an hr+ commute. The long commutes have been hard and are just such a time suck. For a person in a big law job, a 45-60 min driving commute (I’m assuming driving) just does not seem like a good use of time.
NYCer says
+1. Town 1 without a question assuming you can afford it.
ElisaR says
you can’t put a price on time. one of the only ways i can think of to get more time is cutting down on a commute. that is the end of my suggestion. option 1.
Anon says
Town 1, if only for the commute. Completely admirable you’re considering things like socioeconomic diversity, and there are ways to expose your child to that diversity outside of living in it (although, you do need to WORK at doing so).
Op says
Thank you guys, do you think commute matters more than diversity? I know it’s a personal choice but really torn about this.
Anon says
I think you’re framing this wrong. Commute is not just a you thing. It’s how much time your kids get to see you, their ability to get easy transportation to activities on weekdays, and their ability to have you do thinks like pop in to see a talent show on a Tuesday. The question is– do I value my kids seeing me more often or do I value more diversity?
Anonymous says
We live in town 2, but town 2 for us also has the shorter commute, which was our primary decision factor, and it would have been a financial stretch to us to live in town 1 when we bought our house.
To me, commute matters more. There are other (and probably more effective) ways to expose kids to diversity. Also, a diverse school doesn’t automatically equal diverse friend group, appreciation of diversity, or life lessons. Our kids’ school is diverse, but our neighborhood is not, especially socioeconomically. And the kids of different races that my kids are friends with are still from upper middle class, dual career parents households because that’s who they relate to, go to after care/do extracurriculars with, etc etc.
If you are worried about high pressure environment or keeping up with the Joneses mentality from living in an affluent area, a faith community can be a good antidote to that.
FVNC says
For our family, yes, and that means you will need to introduce diversity in purposeful ways. How much socioeconomic diversity is really in a town where the “cheap” houses are around $400k? That’s still really expensive.
Anonymous says
Exactly my thoughts. They’re still living in a $850,000 house minimum based on the ranges OP gave. This isn’t diversity. If you want them to grow up grounded, you can find ways to do that.
FWIW, the commute would be the #1 factor to me for the reasons that 12:09 Anon gave.
Anonymous says
Right, I think town 2 is giving the illusion of diversity while still staying squarely in your comfort zone. That’s not a moral judgement at all, I’m just saying these differences may not be big enough to justify a long commute. My house in the DC burbs is on the lower end of price in my neighborhood and would go for $550k+ if we sold today. I have no illusions that my kids growing up amidst socioeconomic diversity, except maybe as compared to the kids 10-15 min away in Bethesda/Chevy Chase. And even then, sometimes I wonder if they’re taking the wrong lessons away from being comparatively privileged in a school where some people aren’t. They might actually come away with more empathy for have-nots if we lived somewhere like town 1 because they’d be the poor kids who don’t summer as a verb.
Redux says
“They might actually come away with more empathy for have-nots if we lived somewhere like town 1 because they’d be the poor kids who don’t summer as a verb.”
This is super backward justification to me. My experience is that kids in this situation are more likely to feel economic anxiety and entitlement *not* empathy, and have a pretty screwed up idea of class in America. Ask me about the many super rich kids I went to Ivy league school with who described themselves as “middle class” when they were legit RICH. No one who lives in Town 1 is the poor kid, and its weird to describe them like that based on some super high bar of “summering.” That altered reality is what is really problematic to me in terms of raising grounded kids, as you say, OP.
Anonymous says
+1 to Redux. The altered reality phenomenon is one reason we opted against private school, too.
Anon says
This was me. I grew up thinking I was poor because I didn’t go on ski trips or to Disney World every year. My family was better off than most of my friends’ families in college. I grew up in Town 2. Town 1 near me actually had a bigger emphasis on charitable giving and volunteering, so most people I know that grew up in Town 1 were actually more grounded than those of us in Town 2.
Anonymous says
Fair point, I don’t have much experience with the altered reality set, so I trust you. Now that I’m thinking about it more, my parents faced a similar choice when I was in late elementary school. I vividly remember my mom telling my dad that her family would disown her if she lived somewhere like town 1, and we moved to town 2. My sister and I were just talking the other day about how we grew up having no idea how financially comfortable we were, because we and everyone else lived like practical midwesterners, regardless.
asdf says
I live in a $450k house and am a little concerned that I’m providing an example of poverty to the kids in town who live in $1m+ houses.
No Face says
I would never choose a job/home situation that resulted in an hour long commute. Never ever ever, especially as my kids got older. Whether you have diversity in your life is more than just school or neighborhood. How do you make friends? Sign up for kids activities? What types of recreational activities do you engage in? If you have a faith community, what does it look like?
Our church is socioeconomically diverse. I also sign my kids up for activities where there will be a diverse set of kids there. If the swim school has more than one location, I choose the location where the kids are diverse. I would rather drive out of my way every Saturday for an activity than commute an hour after work multiple days a week. We are a multiracial family in a very segregated metro area, so I am very intentional about all of this.
Anon says
Is there a town 3 option in between? I agree that such a long commute, when a much shorter one is an option, would be hard. However, I completely get you on the rich white town concerns. I am going through a similar decision, and am ruling out such towns – I do not want my children growing up among the Brock Turners of the world, and there is a LOT of internalized privilege in rich white towns. (For me, I’m specifically looking at Fairfield County, CT.) I also do NOT want “the best” schools because they are often pressure cookers, with lots of mental stress on kids and a cut-throat, entitled attitude among parents.
So I don’t think you are being crazy to seriously consider this. And I truly believe, as a well-off white person, that we can blame politicians and “the right” all we want for the state of our country, but we need to make hard personal choices for our own families that back up what we profess to believe. So…could you get a little more diversity and a 30 min commute?
anon4this says
Would love to hear more on your thoughts about Fairfield County. We currently live in Fairfield, CT but looking at moving further south because of commute and would to hear which towns with decent schools are the more diverse/less pressure-cooker towns.
Anon says
Caveat that I’m no expert – and I realize even the “less privileged” areas of Fairfield County are pretty well off. But in my mind Darien is concerning, as well as Westport. Greenwich to some extent. I have lots of family in Wilton and they love the town, but their kids dropped out to go to alternate high schools because of stress (and there have been recent suicides). Personally, I am leaning towards North Stamford or Norwalk…the schools there don’t have the best ratings numbers, but parents seem very happy and the lower test scores seem largely due to Spanish-speaking or lower economic status students, which is not a mark of a “bad” school for me. My husband and I have been driving through towns every so often to get a sense of what feels like “us”. And yes it sounds ridiculous to say that towns with average house prices of $500K+ could be diverse…but the Northeast is kind of a different animal!
Anokha says
I don’t have any advice here, but just wanted to say that we’re also thinking about a lot of the same factors for an upcoming move, so you’re not alone in thinking about this.
Anonymous says
If you have gifted kids and one of the districts offers magnet schools or tracked classes, choose that district. We chose a district with top-rated schools but virtually zero gifted services over one that offered magnet schools and are now seriously regretting that choice.
Anon says
This is exactly why my kids go to what is considered overall a mediocre urban public school district. The district is HUGE and has a ton of magnet schools and every special service you could imagine. If the school you’re in doesn’t work for you, you have a dozen other options open to you, without moving or paying private school tuition. In the suburbs or a rural area, you only have your neighborhood school and that’s it.
EB says
I JUST made an almost identical choice and went with Town 1. The commute was a huge factor–commuting was a huge stressor for me before WFH started, and I know it will be again when we get back into the office. We are stretched a little thin, money-wise, but I think it was worth it, and it’s mostly because my husband’s work slowed down significantly this year. I would make this same choice again.
FWIW, I grew up in a town like Town 1 as well, and am grounded, as are many of the kids I went to high school with. Others were not, of course, but it is possible and depends on how you raise your kids.
Anonymous says
Where do you live with only 2 towns?
Anonymous says
So I grew up in NYC, and I’ve commuted an hour each way (by subway) since the day I started high school until the day my office shut down this past march (I even commuted to college and grad school!). I would choose town 2 in a heartbeat. To me, diversity and living in a more middle class than upper class area is extremely important.
Redux says
Same. Town 1 actually sounds repellant to me, apart from the commute and the walkability. But a tiny, rich, all white enclave that doesn’t match your family’s norms? Pass.
OP says
The one dissenter! Super interesting perspective, thank you.
Curious if anyone here thinks hybrid office work arrangements will become more normal in biglaw
Anon says
Yes. I actually did this – I chose a longer commute so we could live in a more diverse, more middle class area. I have no regrets especially now that they’re elementary age. For OP, who would also have grandparents in Town 2 to presumably help pick kids up early or fill in for soccer practice, there are even fewer drawbacks.
But I will caution that you’ll still have to work at a grounded background for your kids even in Town 2. If you’re in a house that is double the normal price, look at which specific school/ park district/ activities your kids will gravitate to. Ensure they don’t somehow get the warped perception that kids in a $400K house are lower income. Make sure you have diverse friend sets and neighbors and community attachments (like a church or service org or soccer team) so you actually get the benefits of living in a diverse neighborhood. Having your kids go to school with some different skin colors but still only socializing with white people on evenings/weekends will send a really wrong message to your kids about who you (presumably) are.
NYCer says
IMO commuting via subway or train is significantly different than commuting via car. From OP’s post, it sounded like it was an hour drive each way (and sounds like traffic based on a 25 mile commute taking an hour). An hour of bumper to bumper traffic is brutal.
Boston Legal Eagle says
So I’m going to dissent, although with the caveat that my decision is colored by where I currently live (are you in the Boston burbs by any chance? I can think of a few contenders for Town 1 and Town 2). The Town 1s around here are not where I would want to raise my kids. There’s just something off putting to me about these tiny homogenous towns. Commutes are important but I think that companies will be more willing to do WFH now, and in any case, jobs aren’t forever. You also said that both grandparents are in Town 2? That would be a huge win for us, as the grandparents can much more easily be involved in the kids’ lives if they’re close, and can also help out at nights to make up for the commute.
anon says
I think you’re assuming a lot about how involved the grandparents will be. Definitely have some hard conversations before choosing Town 2 under the assumption that others can make up for commuting problems. That … has not been my experience, and we have a set of grandparents that live 1.5 miles away from us.
Anon says
This. Please do not make housing decisions based on grandparent involvement unless you’ve had very direct conversations about how much childcare they will do. I’ve seen this backfire for SO many people.
Pogo says
Just wanted to say I agree it sounds like the Boston burbs. People saying a $400K house is still expensive…. um in Concord that might buy you a 2bed from literally 1788. Many towns around here seem to have those huge ranges, tho ime you get a lot of people who are over leveraged living in houses they can’t afford (mostly those with Sahms and husbands who makes normal amounts of money) whereas we are comfortable and we’d be the over leveraged ones in a $1M+ house. I also feel like it’s hard to define “diversity” (I think we’ve talked about this on here) when many affluent suburbs skew Asian and South Asian, while a town with overall lower incomes, worse schools and cheaper housing prices could be nearly all white.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Totally, it’s all relative – $400K is cheap around here in a way that it wouldn’t be in the Midwest or South.
Anon says
Town 1 for sure. Commute is everything and this may be an unpopular opinion, but even in racially diverse areas people tend to strongly self-segregate based on race. So just because your school district is 30% Black or Hispanic or lower SES whatever doesn’t mean your kids will have a lot of meaningful interactions with people who aren’t white or in the same socioeconomic tier.
Rosie says
Does anyone have any recommendations for a stroller/travel system? I’m pregnant with my first baby. A lot of my friends have gotten the Uppababy Vista or Cruz, but I don’t know if that’s the right choice for us. We live in the suburbs, and we will go on walks etc. but our primary mode of transportation is driving. I’m getting overwhelmed between Graco, Chicco, Britax, etc. etc. Would love to hear if anyone has experience with a stroller/travel system and what you liked or didn’t like!
Anon says
lucie’s list, which i learned about from reading this site, saved me with all of these decisions. everyone i know who has the Vista, loves the wheels, but hates it with 2 kids. i have twins, so my needs were slightly different, but we had uppababy infant car seats and a cheapish special twin stroller they snapped into, and spent our money on our double jogging stroller, which we could start using around 6 months, which we love
AnonATL says
Lucie’s list is great and very comprehensive.
For our suburban baby, we went with one of the graco travel systems. It’s less than $200 on sale and works great for mile-two mile walks around the neighborhood, and I imagine a trip to the store when that becomes normal again. We drive everywhere so I didn’t see the need to spend a ton on a stroller system. I’ve even taken it on a gravel walking path for a couple miles and it did great.
We will likely be having kid #2 in the next 2 or so years and will upgrade to a double stroller or a sturdier jogging stroller after that.
We got the Graco FastAction Fold Sport system at Target. If you feel safe doing so, we went into Target and buy buy baby and pushed strollers around the aisles for a few minutes.
Rosie says
Thank you! That’s exactly what we will be doing – one to two mile walks, and then maybe stores/bigger outings in the future (who knows at this point!)
AwayEmily says
I think for city-dwellers who walk everywhere and need to carry everything in the stroller the Uppababy ones are great. But for you I’d recommend either the Britax or City Mini systems. We had the Britax (B-Agile, which I think is now called the B-Lively) and it was perfect. Easy to do one-handed, small enough to take when traveling.
Wirecutter has reviews that are helpful, too.
anon says
+1 this exactly and also Lucie’s List as mentioned above.
Rosie says
Thank you!
JTM says
Check out Lucie’s List – it’s really the best place for recommendations. We ended up with the Chicco Cortina travel system and have used it through 2 babies, it’s been fine. I liked the car seat more than the stroller, but the stroller has been a workhorse for us and survived ~20 flights and countless trips to the mall, zoo, etc. Only gripe about the stroller is that it’s on the heavy side.
Anonymous says
Similar situation – go on walks but often are driving. Did not use a travel system. Used a Graco bucket seat with a frame, then used an umbrella stroller and a jogging stroller. On our old neighborhood we more often used the umbrella stroller – current neighborhood has a lot of gravel roads and we rely on jogging stroller. Really I recommend don’t invest in more than a car seat frame until you get a sense of your needs- I thought we’d use strollers a lot but ended up mostly using baby carriers.
Doing it again I’d skip the bucket seat and frame altogether- we rarely toted the babies around in it as they wouldn’t stay asleep, and both kids outgrew it by 9 months.
Anon says
Currently pregnant and just went stroller shopping. I would highly recommend going to Buy Buy Baby to look at strollers. We were between the Uppababy and the Mockingbird before we went (SIL has Mockingbird) and instead chose the Baby Jogger City Mini. It was a clear favorite for us and is much cheaper than Uppababy. We are in a semi-suburban neighborhood and plan on going on lots of walks in the neighborhood but would be driving to grocery stores, Target, etc.
Rosie says
Good idea, thank you! Buy buy baby is about 40 minutes from us, but I might go to Target this weekend and see if they have strollers on the floor.
Anon says
We were in the same boat but couldn’t find anywhere else that had the things we were interested in looking at, and watching YouTube videos was driving me crazy. We made an afternoon of going and also looked at cribs, etc. If we’d gone sooner, it honestly would have saved me so much time reading internet reviews and watching Youtube videos. Looking at stuff in person was so helpful– most things seem bigger in person, so I realized I really didn’t want a lot of the things my friends in much bigger houses have told me are “must-haves.” Also realized that all cribs are pretty much the same quality regardless of price.
Rosie says
That’s really good to know! I will see if my husband is down for a weekend field trip soon :)
Anon says
We love our Chicco. It is a great baby seat, and we liked the stroller that came with it (Bravo). After baby was big enough to sit up, we got an umbrella stroller for walks around the neighborhood and kept the Chicco stroller in the car. I also agree with going to a store and wheeling some strollers around to get a feel
Rosie says
Thank you! Chicco Bravo is one of the ones that keeps coming up in my research.
Pogo says
I just have the chicco stroller frame. I mostly use it for taking baby into a store (not doing much of that) or accompanying big brother to playgrounds. For actual walking I use our jogging stroller (single or double depending). I don’t think the bravo system is THAT much nicer that it’s worth the money vs investing in a more rugged stroller and just doing stroller frame
anon says
I’m in similar situation, mom of 1, but without a big box baby store nearby to try them out, I surveyed neighbors and others who walk similar routes and BoB and City Mini GT were top favorites for the terrain and durability. I figured the stroller resale market is strong and I could swap out if I needed a double down the line. So I opted for a gently used City Mini GT with infant seat adapter. I will say, I wish I had one of those basic strollers to pop the infant seat into (Chicco Caddy) for trips to the mall, etc, but for the type of walking we do (city-ish, hilly neighborhoods, uneven sidewalks) the City Mini is great to push, never gets stuck and easy to flip/store.
Anon says
Also suburbs, almost exclusively driving, and we went with the Chicco Bravo and loved it. When kiddo was in the bucket, we just used the frame part to make it lighter to cart around. Once she was sitting up independently we put the seat back in. The hard fixed lift handle was huge for me being able to put the stroller in the car one-handed – a couple we looked at just had straps and I couldn’t do it one-handed. DH and I are both very tall, and we liked that that handle height was adjustable to one of the taller ones on the market. The cloth parts were easy to remove and wash as well. Would definitely buy again. Then around age 2 we added the joovy jogging stroller for outdoors and off-roading type events (wineries, horse races, picnics, playgrounds without good paths, etc.). If you have more than one car, once kiddo is sitting independently, highly recommend putting an umbrella stroller in the other car so you have it if needed.
Rosie says
Thanks! I have been eyeing the Bravo.
Anon says
Also in suburbs (although we did a lot of plane travel), and we just used the snap-n-go stroller frame until my kid outgrow the bucket seat, then we switched to a cheap umbrella stroller. Most of my friends had fancy strollers but I really never saw the need and am so glad we didn’t spend thousands on one of the fancy systems.
Anonymous says
In your position I would consider the uppababy minu — 15 lb is not heavy. It looks to me like a great older baby/toddler stroller and it’s compatible with car seats for a younger baby. I had a Cruz and loved it, but I was a city dweller who walked 5+ miles a day while on leave and who needed the cargo room of the basket.
Anon says
I didn’t know what to pick either, I ended up getting the City Mini GT because it was popular and cheaper. It’s working out fine for us. Some things I would now consider that I hadn’t though about before I had a kid: 1). What is the basket/storage like? (Pre-Covid) I would take my stroller + baby into the store rather than use a cart, so stashing stuff underneath was sometimes necessary. The stroller I picked has a pretty small basket. With covid not sure how much you will be out & about. 2). Extensibility – do you want the ability to expand it to hold 2 kids? 3) Accessories – the stroller I picked has a bar and a tray that you buy separately. I have a 99%er for height and the bar for the Citi Mini (which they love to hold on to when older, you will likely want a bar) is kind of high and would be in the face of a short baby even at the lowest setting. ditto with the tray). 4) Easy fold/unfold – It was nice to be able to whip it out of the trunk with one hand and pull a strap to collapse it for stowing.
You do not need a “travel system” – most strollers will have adapters for different brands. I had a Chicco infant seat I would put on the stroller with an adapter. Of course when you think about price, also count adapter + bar + tray (or whatever else you want). It’s also nice to register for one of those basket thingies that straps to the handle to hold your coffee or water and keys, etc.
DLC says
Do you feel the need to buy everything now? We used the bucket seat and snap n go combination for the first four months, and then bought an Uppa Vista (floor model at Buy Buy Baby, missing the bassinet so we got it for a steal.). We also live in the suburbs, but near lots of walking paths. The nice thing about waiting is that we could really get a sense of what we needed and where we were using the stroller. I do a lot of baby wearing, so it made sense to get a stroller sized for my husband. The Vista is a little unwieldy for me personally, but my husband loves it. Our Vista is eight years old and still in use for our third baby. A snap n go is pretty cheap and you can find them used in great condition.
Rosie says
No, definitely not! I’m mostly trying to figure out what I should register for, and what we will use for the first few months. I’m due in May so I do envision us going on walks in the summer. When you say bucket seat/snap n go combination, is that like the carseat + stroller that you buy together? That’s what I’m thinking we will get to start – something like the Chicco Bravo combo which is a couple hundred, and then if we feel the need for a fancier stroller down the line/when we have another kid,
Anon says
Yeah, that was my philosophy – that we would buy the snap n go to start and then buy something else if we needed it, and we never did. YMMV but unless you are trying to navigate public transit or doing serious jogging with the stroller, the snap-n-go is probably fine. We did 5+ mile walks with it around our suburb and never found it uncomfortable.
DLC says
The snap n go is just a frame on wheels for the infant car seat (aka bucket seat). You buy it separately, and it is compatible with a wide range of car seats. It admittedly has a very short life span, but it is very good for what it does – that is transport your baby around in their car seat. if you are not sure / are not ready to spend the money on a stroller yet, it’s a good way to start.
https://babytrend.com/collections/snap-n-go
Anon. says
Absolutely agree with this strategy. We started with a Chicco car seat and the Chicco snap n go frame. The frame was less than $100. I didn’t think we’d use a stroller much at all because we were in a heavy driving culture and didn’t want to spend a ton on of money on an expensive stroller we wouldn’t use. We reevaluated at around 5 months – I was using the stroller daily for walks around the neighborhood and had a better idea of what I wanted. We jumped straight from the frame to a nice jogging stroller (BOB) that I love and have put literally hundreds of miles on. The frame was nice when super little for pushing into grocery stores, doctor visits, even a long parking lot walk at daycare, but that phase doesn’t last long. With baby #2 we added the adapter bar to use the infant seat with the jogging stroller and bought a double jogger. We still used the snap frame a handful of times, but much less because COVID eliminated many of those excursions.
We live in suburbia but have a gravel walking path close by. My jogging stroller is basically my best friend and I was never a runner before having kids.
katy says
Loved my Uppababy Vista.
I got to the point that i could get it in the back of the SUV one handed. I did a ton of walking and the basket was big enough to do a decent sized grocery shop. I don’t think the cruz would be. The big wheels are also key if you are in a snowy climate. We tested many in person and it was by far the favourite for my very tall husband (other than a bugaboo one that was 2x the price). In my mind spending $$ on a stroller that you like and is easy to use is SO worth it. (vs nursery décor, tons of tiny outfits). We took the vista travelling in North America, including flying. We took a cheap umbrella stroller to Europe which was nice with the rental car.
I would not get it if you have a super small car (e.g. mazda3) or plan to take it on public transit. If you are a big runner, however, i would spend your money on that. I didn’t because i had my sister’s hand me down running stroller and i regret that.
final point – the bassinet for the vista was a lifesaver. having a kiddo that did not sleep, it was awesome to be able to put him in the bassinet for a walk (and he would sleep / i would get some sanity) and then i could lift it right off and take it into the house without waking him. I used the bassinet a ton around the house. I was skeptical about it before the baby was born. I forced a cousin to borrow it. She resisted because they lived in a small apartment, but about a month in admitted that it was worth the space!
Teaching your toddler says
Is there a book about toddler developmental milestones and what you are supposed to teach when? For example, I have no clue when my kid is supposed to learn to do buttons or tie shoes or cut out a shape. We do Ages and Stages with her pediatrician so I’m not worried about her actual development, I just have no idea how and when I’m supposed to be introducing new skills now that she’s 3 and beyond the basic survival skills like utensils and toileting.
Anon says
the Ages and Stages questionnaires (i had to fill some out last week) actually do mention things like cutting with scissors and getting dressed, etc.
AwayEmily says
Is she in daycare? We have twice-a-year teacher conferences and at those, I always ask “is there anything we should be working on with her at home?” I figure if she’s behind in anything, that will tell me. I think one time I got a request to do more fork work, but that’s pretty much it.
Anon says
We rely on daycare to teach her pretty much everything and so far it seems to be working ok.
Anonymous says
Same. Day care tended to introduce most skills earlier than I would have thought possible.
Anonymous says
I’m sure my kindergartener is supposed to be able to do buttons by now but we re key realized we don’t HAVE any clothes with buttons! And his shoes still have Velcro. I know in my parents’ day they weren’t allowed to start kindergarten if they couldn’t tie their shoes so maybe we need to get on that.
Anon says
I think that just they have to be able to get their own shoes on and off by themselves. If they’re wearing velco and can do the velcro, that’s fine. The point is that they shouldn’t be needing a lot of assistance from a teacher at recess, because the teacher has 20+ kids to help.
Jeffiner says
What are your elementary-age kids’ favorite backyard play activities? My daughter is 5, and an only child. We are re-doing our backyard, and I want to include some fun things for her. I always said I didn’t want a swing set because we live a mile from one of the city’s best playgrounds, but who knows when we can visit that again. Would it be worth it to put in a swing set so in the After Times she can play without leaving home? Our yard is pretty large, and we have a tire swing and plan to build a tree house.
AwayEmily says
my kids are a bit younger (2.5 and 4) but I’m always surprised by how much they love slides. Rolling balls down slides, going down in different ways, climbing up them — they always beeline for slides at playgrounds, and at home our Little Tikes slide, which they have both outgrown, is STILL the most-used outdoor toy we have.
Anon says
If you have a tire swing and a tree house, I don’t think you’re getting much new out of a a swing set except a slide (and you can get stand alone versions of those).
Anon says
Our swing set is super popular. The kids love the swings and monkey bars the most. The slide is used for going up more than down.
My 4 and 7 yos still love our sandbox. It gets used all the time.
We got climbing hold from Amazon that strap to a big tree in our backyard with webbing and the kids love climbing.
The kids also love a Little Tykes toddler play slide. It’s currently being used as a platform to jump into leaf piles, but is constantly repurposed.
Our wagon is also a favorite for loading, unloading and hauling stuff and kids around.
Anon says
I would add a fire pit (built in or a dedicated area). She’s old enough to do smores, and that will get more use as she gets older plus is ideal for COVID friendly fun now – I remember lots of middle school and high school parties outside around someone’s backyard fire pit. My 3YO loves building a fire and doing smores or roasting hot dogs on a stick with us, and it is also a hit with our friends with elementary schoolers. If she is into climbing, there are those geodome things that might be fun for the elementary set. My kid’s favorite part of the swingset is the “house” part of it, and you already have that covered!
Also if redoing the yard, I would keep a nice flat area if possible – good for setting up inflatable pools, playing pickleball or cornhole, etc.
TheElms says
Can the tree house have a slide or a fireman’s pole to get down? That plus a tire swing is basically a playground.
DLC says
My neighbor put in a concrete pad and a basketball hoop and my kids (8, and 3) are over there every weekend. L
I’m also a big fan of open ended things like tree stumps, logs, and places to dig, and maybe even give her a place to garden.
My brother just built an 8 foot climbing wall and I want one now too.
SC says
Gift suggestions for a 3.5 year old niece? Budget is around $25 (I have 9 nieces and nephews on my list.) She has an older brother, and they have a huge play room with a ton of toys already. I haven’t seen her since February and have no idea of any particular interests, characters/shows she likes, etc. Definitely looking for a toy/something to play with–that’s just the gift-giving culture in this family.
OtterMom says
Timely suggestion: there is a big Melissa and Doug sale on Amaz*n today. I would suggest the vinyl (resusable) sticker books and the Water Wow!
Anon says
The slice and bake cookie set is something my 3YO adores! While it is meant for her play kitchen, I often find her with it in her bedroom (and sometimes sleeping with it!), so no play kitchen necessary.
SC says
Perfect, thank you! Just 3 kids left (besides my own)!
Bbbette says
Was literally about to post this same question for my nephew of the same age so I will piggyback on your post! I’m looking in a slightly higher range, up to $50-60. We’ve been told he does NOT like art or reading so that rules out most of my go-to gifts. Will have to ship it so preferably nothing huge/bulky.
Anon says
trains, magnatiles, playfood, board games
Anon says
Marble run! My MIL just got DD one (she’s 3) from FBT and she thinks it is the coolest thing ever. She needs assistance to build, but will happily play with it for hours once built.
Anon says
For my almost 3 year old we’re asking for the following for Hanukkah/her birthday:
-Food for play kitchen (Melissa and Doug has a lot of nice themed ones, like cupcakes, ice cream, pizza parlor, etc.)
-Accessories for her baby doll (she has a stroller but not much else)
-The Melissa & Doug tabletop easel and art supplies
-Costumes for dress up
Books are always welcome, but we have a lot and I buy them at non-holiday times so they aren’t as special. She isn’t really into puzzles. She has enough LEGOs and I don’t especially want to buy into another large and expensive building thing like MagnaTiles. She’s never shown any interest in WaterWow, for whatever reason.
Anonymous says
Late to the game, but my 3.5yos daily play with: wooden blocks (the big M&D set and smaller ones), plastic animals, duplos, dress up clothes, art supplies.
Other hits that they enjoy bit don’t have daily use: play food/pots/utensils (without a play kitchen), trains, magna tiles, puzzles.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Puzzles? By 3.5, my older kid was doing the 4 year+ type puzzles. Also agree on magnatiles, if that’s not too pricy.
AnotherAnon says
Toys my 3.5 y/o son plays with almost daily: Magnatiles, M&D water wows, Green Toys vehicles, small Duplo sets, activity/sticker books, Brio train. Mine doesn’t like to dress up, but some dress up clothes might be a fun gift for your niece. Mine also doesn’t have a play kitchen or play food, but enjoyed those in the Before Times at our friends’ houses.
Playroom flooring? says
We are trying to convert a large floor in the basement to a playroom for winter. The floor is unfinished concrete. Any suggestions for covering it in a way that looks decent and will be softer for kiddo? We occasionally get water down there (working on that) so not ready to invest in wall-to-wall carpeting till that is definitely sorted out.