Everyone Thursday: Straw Topper Fedora

My husband told me today that he doesn’t feel like he’s special to me, and that I probably do love him at some level, but that it seems secondary with me. He said it’s probably due to the baby (14 mo) and that that’s understandable, with me working full time and doing kid stuff and clearly the baby needs me, but that he still doesn’t feel like I really care. I don’t know whether to cry or punch him. He was recently away on a business trip for a week and what surprised me was how little my life changed. I get up with the baby (who still wakes up every. single. night). I get up before the baby wakes up in the morning so I can shower and do hair and makeup. Then I get the baby up, make us both breakfast, and entertain him until my husband comes downstairs, when I dash upstairs, throw on clothes and run out the door. At night, I put the baby to bed each night (20-30 min process, plus return trips to the nursery if he’s fussy) then make dinner. From scratch. Making dishes my husband likes and not making a lot of easier dishes I like. Then I pack up leftovers for both of us for lunch the next day. And I do the laundry, making sure to take his shirts out as soon as the dryer finishes so they’ll be wrinkle-free. I ask about his day and give him my full attention. I call or text or email during the workday to see how things are going and have often offered pep talks when he needs them (he’s in a new job and feels out of his depth sometimes). I’ve said many many times that I have too many responsibilities (I also plan the week’s meals, order the groceries, clean up the kitchen after dinner, and keep track of all the family stuff like doctor appointments, when the dog needs to go to the groomers, dealing with the maid service, etc.) He agreed and we were supposed to divide them up more fairly. We haven’t done that yet. I just feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water and he’s telling me that I’m not treading water gracefully enough.

Based upon your experiences, how long does the postpartum hair loss last? I’m 5 months postpartum, and it’s absolutely insane. I’m amazed I have any hair left on my head. Multiple handfuls come out in the shower, and my hair is literally everywhere. Poor baby, it’s all over her and all over my clothes, the floor is a mess, etc. I’m really hoping it doesn’t go on much longer!!

I just have to share this experience from the maternity wing tour at my hospital last night. There were probably about 20-30 couples in the room, and, as we were going through the different procedures for natural / c-section, a woman raises her hand to ask a question:

“You separate the women who have c-sections from the women who have v births, right? Because I’ve heard that when you have a c-section, you have loud alarms going off ALL NIGHT LONG in your room, and those are pretty loud. So they’ll be on separate floors?” (This, after clearly being shown the maternity wing floor plan with all private rooms with your own bathroom / shower and everything)

Presenter: “No, you’re all on the same floor….that’s where the 34 maternity bonding / recovery rooms are located…they’re all private”

Woman: “But their alarms are really LOUD and since I’m not having a c-section I shouldn’t have to hear them….”

Presenter: “Yeah I’ve never been asked that question before, maybe ask your nurse.”

I don’t know why, but this just hit me wrong. Unless you want to slap down $3,000 – $10,000 a night for a fancy private suite at the hospital in Beverly Hills, then I suggest you deal with the fact that it is still a hospital, despite how amazing you think your birth experience is going to be. Of course, being sick, tired, and cranky, I waited until we got out in the very echo-y hallway, turned to my husband, and said: “You don’t think they are going to make us scheduled c-sections stay near the L&D rooms for “regular” births, right? Because those woman can be in labor for HOURS and they scream REALLY LOUD and I don’t think I should have to put up with that.”

I think, for the first time, I may have embarrassed my husband! I just have zero patience at 8pm after a super long day at work.

Don’t know why that rubbed me the wrong way, but it just did. Good news is the facility is great any they only have private rooms, so no paying extra to get one or dealing with insurance.

Toothbrushing question! My kiddo has molars and the doctor was very clear that we need to be consistent about brushing teeth. Which is like saying you need to consistently brush a feral cat’s teeth….anyone have any strategies? Her father just pins her to the ground with his arm and forces the brush into her mouth, but I’d like a more civilized tactic.

FWIW, she likes the toothbrush and chews on it a couple times a day. She just clamps her little lips and runs away when we come at her with the toothbrush.

I have a question that was sparked by yesterday’s traveling + pumping post, but I didn’t think anyone would be looking in the comments there today! I pump at work and nurse at home. My baby gets a bottle in the evening sometimes when we have a babysitter, but she’s never gone an entire day without nursing. Has anyone intentionally done a full 24 hrs with pumped milk only to see how it goes? I am worried that if a trip comes up I will have no idea how much milk to leave or what to tell my husband/MIL/etc. about her schedule.

Weaning question. We dropped to two nursing sessions a day at 12 months. At 19 months we dropped the morning session. Now at 20 months she appears to be dropping the evening session. Should I expect pain or engorgement with such a slow weaning process? She asked for a cup of milk instead of nursing last night so I’m assuming there isn’t much there.

Cute hat, but I have a hard time find hats for my larger than average head. My son has a big head, too (yes, it did hurt). It’s hard to find hats for him and even some shirt brands won’t go on.