Washable Workwear Wednesday: Ponte Sheath Dress

Has anyone done cry it out with an older child? I think I need to try it. The time change threw us off and things are getting worse, not better.

I’ve ordered the special night time light bulbs, because the first thing she does when left alone in her room is turn on all the lamps. I also ordered a monkey lock for the door because she’s strong enough to rip the tension gate out if she gets mad enough, and her door won’t close because of some work landlord did (grr).

All of her toys are stored in her room, and there isn’t really any place else to store them. Do they need to be removed? Any resources on preschool age cry it out? Any first hand experience?

I’m not inclined to do the sleep lady shuffle stuff, because whatever boundaries I’m setting right now aren’t working, and I don’t think that will change. I think we need a hard bedtime reset with de minimis parental interaction for a few nights, just to see if that works.

Advice needed re: dying cat…

Three months ago my 14-year-old cat was diagnosed with cancer. Her face had started looking a bit asymmetrical to me, and what I thought was just disheveled fur on her cheek turned out to be a little lump growing in her face that was predicted to grow quite quickly. It had already broken the roots of some teeth and caused quite a bit of damage. She was likely in a lot of pain for quite some time and I had no idea. She has been on pain medication around-the-clock ever since (she first had a surgery where they removed a couple teeth and did a biopsy), and sure enough that little tumor is growing. Her face is much more uneven – it’s very obvious now that she has something very wrong with her and her mouth is now bleeding from time to time, she drools a lot, she eats a little less than she used to, and she meows throughout the day in a way that makes me think she’s uncomfortable. But it’s so hard to really know… And since she is still eating enough, she is still quite social with me and wants to be in my lap a lot, and she still seems to enjoy the things she used to (eg, she’ll chase after a string if you try to get her to play with it), I can’t seem to decide if it’s truly her time or not. But there’s now a bit of a deadline on the decision – feels a little callous to think of it that way, but I am at a loss for what to do…

We have an 8-day vacation starting in 10 days. She has never been very comfortable adjusting easily to another home, and I suspect she is more scared and uncomfortable than the average cat when staying in a boarding facility, something she’s only had to do two or three times in her life. So even as a perfectly healthy cat, vacations away from her have never been ideal. Now that she is this sick and could take a turn for the worse any day, I feel awful about having what could be her final days be somewhere so uncomfortable for her. And of course I have no one in my personal network who could care for her at my home, let alone at their own home. My parents have cared for her at their house before, but they are scheduled to be out of town part of that week. And to ask them to have to give her pain medication every day and be watchful to take her to the vet to be put down if things get noticeably worse, seems like a lot even if they were here. I think it’s highly likely they’ll be the ones that would have to take her to be euthanized based on the latest progression.

So I am contemplating euthanizing her before we leave – it seems cruel to me to board her when she’s this uncomfortable and scared. But I also know it’s possible she could be mildly comfortable for another few weeks before we have to put her down if we weren’t going anywhere. Realistically that’s all she has – I think my vet is surprised I haven’t had to bring her in sooner. And with the pace of her drooling and bleeding the last few days, it’s also possible that the decision will be made for me in a few days. But I actually have to decide in the next day or two in order to get on the vets schedule! I could always take her to an emergency clinic, but I’d prefer to take her to the vet I know and trust. There is no good answer here – but I’m sure that one is probably better than another. What would you do?

Canceling the vacation is not really an option – this is a big one for us and we’ve saved a lot of money to pay for it that we wouldn’t get back if we canceled. We are meeting family at a destination across the country, and if we didn’t go it would be a hardship for them as well based on some of the plans we have.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts. I hope I don’t sound like a cruel pet owner – but if I do, please go easy on me.

For those of you with elementary aged children: How much, if any, time do you spend in your child’s classroom? We had our second parent-teacher conference last week, and it was the last conference of the year. I have been in regular contact with this teacher via email and attended the Holiday play, but I haven’t really spent any time with my son at his school or in the classroom in general. When his teacher said that it was the last conference of the year, I was struck by how little I have been around for that part of my son’s life. Realistically, I do not think there is a way that I can regularly volunteer in the classroom while working full-time. Is this just part of growing up/learning that my son has a life independent of our family? Should I try and get in there more?

Just had my second c-section and am looking for suggestions for abdominal binders. I understand they can provide a lot of support, which I clearly need at the moment. Thank you!