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I hadn’t noticed JCP’s maternity line before, but some of it looks really great, particularly considering the price. This simple dress looks lovely for multiple seasons, and I think the neckline and hem length are flattering. It’s available in blue, red, white and black, and it’s $56 full price — but it’s marked to $33 today, and you can try code DECFRND for another 30% off. Maternity Elbow-Sleeve Dress
(L-2)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Onlyworkingmomintulsa says
Looking to see if others are more affected by extremely sad news stories of child abuse and death after having children? It seems that I can no longer read or hear about these types of stories without crying and being deeply sad for the rest of the day. I cannot imagine how anyone could harm an innocent child, especially now that I have little children of my own and know how sweet and wonderful children truly are. Sorry to be a downer, just heard a horrible story on the local radio and saw it again in the paper this morning. Can’t shake this sadness off and wondering how others cope.
Anon says
Not much advice, just commiseration. I used to do child protection law (child services side) before children – I had to ask for a reassignment because I couldn’t sleep anymore afterwards. Child focused charities have also become a favorite cause for donations.
JJ says
Yup. I just can’t deal with those stories anymore. My husband knows to not even talk to me about stories like that. I rarely, rarely cry in any situation that I find myself in, but those stories can make me cry at the drop of a hat.
Also, I love your name, OP.
Anon in NYC says
Same here. I just can’t handle it.
Tra la la says
Yes, 100%. Same with any humanitarian issue, i.e. refugee families with young children. I can hardly bear to think of it, but I do. I have challenged myself to do something tangible, however small, whenever I feel hopeless about these situations. My husband and I now do a monthly donation to a crisis nursery in our city (Jeremiah’s Place) that allows parents with no other support to have their children looked after in a safe environment in an emergency. This helps prevent kids being watched by unsafe people. We are so appreciative for the support system we have and very strongly feel that every other parent needs that too. This is a small way that we hope will make a difference for someone.
Famouscait says
Yes, and it affects my husband, too. We tried to watch the trailer for Beasts of No Nation this weekend, and both promptly vetoed watching the full thing. It was just too much.
MomAnon4This says
Yes. Even with the terrible news out of San Bernadino CA – all I can think about is the 6-month-old baby left behind by the shooters. I have a 6-month-old. The rest of it is sad, I know the victims were parents, too, but to me I can’t understand a mother leaving her infant to go shoot strangers to make a political point.
Anonymous says
Same here. I haven’t stopped thinking about that 6 month old.
Scandia says
I am clearly much more affected too.
On the fence says
I don’t even have kids yet but after a few of my friends had kids and I saw how fragile and dependent they are and it really impacted me. Also it just makes me so sad that parents sometimes feel they have nowhere to turn. They could have just handed that child to me and I would have cared for it. But that just isn’t the way the world works. I’m sure if someone just handed me a baby and I was willing to keep it there would still be a whole lot of legal red tape before I could even take the baby to the doctor. There would no doubt be an investigation which is why these parents feel there is nowhere to turn.
I really think the safe haven laws need to be expanded through age five. As awful as it would be to be abandoned in that fashion, it is a lot better than the alternative. We have had way too many cases of murdered toddlers where I live.
JEB says
Definitely. People warned me it would happen, and I brushed it off. I used to be a social worker and now I’m a prosecutor, so I’m very accustomed to seeing/hearing terrible, violent things. Having a child has made me so much more sensitive…I can hardly stomach certain news stories anymore. It seems to have affected my husband as well, although not as much. It makes my job tough sometimes.
I’ll also note that I’ve also seen an increase in anxiety regarding bad things that could potentially happen. For example, following the Paris attack, I now think almost daily about the possibility of an attack on the metro during my commute. In the past, I might have considered this once or twice, but it wouldn’t have lingered. I must feel like I have more to lose, now that I have a child. It also makes me sad that she has to grow up in a world where such terrible things occur.
anon says
I literally changed career fields because I am an emotional parent now. I was applying for prosecutor positions and that was going well… then I realized that criminals have kids! They were once kids! Some basically still are! I went in a direction where I can leave work at work. I think it was a good move. I’m not the person I was in my twenties.
Anon in NYC says
I have some airline miles that I need to use by the end of the year. My husband and I are thinking of going on our first family trip sometime in the summer, when my daughter will have just turned one. Our problem is that we’re going around in circles as to what would be the “best” vacation to take – beach, city, what sort of flight/time change, and on and on. Pre-kid, we had really varied and adventurous travels. Obviously the overall pace of any sort of vacation will be much slower and any type of sight seeing will by impacted by my daughter’s schedule, but I’d appreciate any thoughts on what is both doable and enjoyable with a 1 year old!
Amelia Bedelia says
My husband and I took our first international trip with our daughter when she was just over one. We had a GREAT time, but believe it was because we visited a place we had already visited pre-kids. This allowed us to escape the WE MUST SEE EVERYTHING feeling. We rented an apartment and just had one thing to do a day. The other parts of the day were spent wandering and taking it easy and stopping frequently to allow a newly walking toddler to explore.
Whether domestic or abroad, I’d recommend that approach because it worked so well for my family.
Anon says
If you have enough miles and are comfortable driving in Europe, I highly recommend going to an agritourismo farm accommodation in Tuscany. Get something with a pool and an apartment style vs. B&B. Can still do a day trip to the coast for beach. Nice to have kitchen facilites when prepping food for baby or if you have an early evening eating in. Lots of historical city stuff close by but could also just hang out at the pool and enjoy the view as well. Italy is pretty kid friendly in my experience.
OliveMac says
I love this idea, for another time of year, but I worry that Anon in NYC will have a hard time finding an open farm this time of year (and if she does, I’m not sure anyone will want to use the pool — it’s quite chilly in Tuscany now)! We did just this in October, and loved it, but found that many of the B&B’s, agritourismos and things of that nature were closing up shop for the season soon.
Anon says
I think she was looking for next summer – but agree that Tuscany in November-April is too chilly and often things are closed.
Anon in NYC says
Yep. Inartful phrasing on my part. I need to use the miles to purchase the tickets by the end of this year, but I can travel in 2016.
Thanks for the suggestions so far – these are great!
Msj says
We did Europe (France) at that age and loved it. Cosign the above advice to get an apt and take it slow. The small towns/countryside were more fun than big cities. They are the perfect setting to just “soak it all up.” Being able to drive (so not in an urban environment) is also helpful.
The flight wasn’t relaxing, but it was certainly doable.
Personally, I don’t think the beach would be as much fun (diapers + sand) but I haven’t tried it.
We’re now trying to think of what to do for 2016 vacation (age two) and are thinking Italy or something national park related in the US
octagon says
A friend recently went to Atlantis for a week with her one-year-old and said it was perfect.
Syd says
Just an FYI – we recently flew internationally with a lap child and had to pay an international tax that was equal to 10% of one of our tickets. We didn’t know such a thing existed so didn’t pay for it when we bought our tickets and got stuck paying 10% of the cost of a ticket the day we checked into the airport. So frustrating and so avoidable had we known about it. Check with your airline and read the fine print!
Anon in NYC says
Wow, I didn’t realize that. Thanks for the heads up!
Msj says
Yes, us too. We were able to “pay” with airline miles (it was a program where you points get you x dollars off whatever flight rather than booking via frequent flyer miles. Not sure how they would calculate it in that case). It was annoying but still a good value in the end. Also we got great service on British Airways who have special basinettes for older lap children
Anonymous says
Yup — this happened us, too! We found out about 2 weeks before the flight at which point the fare was WAY more expensive than it had been 2 months earlier. I didn’t realize I had to pay anything for a lap child on an international flight.
Famouscait says
Does a will need to be updated if you move states? Where do y’all keep important documents like this, and do other family members know where to find them, in the event they become necessary? I know my husband and I need to just DO this, but it all feels very complex. In reality, I’d like to just write up a one-pager myself and have a notary witness it. We have no complicating factors; we just need to specify who gets the kiddo if something happens to us.
Meg Murry says
No idea on the will (and the documentation we have is sorely lacking right now), but we have a small safe that holds file folders and is supposed to be fireproof, and we keep our most important documents in there (we also keep the key in the lock, because we are more concerned about just having them somewhere safe, and not that someone will break in to the safe). My father also has the spare key to the safe, and instructions about where it is and what it contains.
Ours looks like a previous version of this one: http://www.sentrysafe.com/Products/224/H4300_Tubular_Lock_File_
so far no fires or floods, so I don’t know how well it holds up, but it’s worked as the best place for us to keep this kind of info so far. When we do taxes, we also print off our annual credit report and a summary of where we have bank accounts and bills (no account numbers, just a listing) so at least anyone having to deal with our finances in case of emergency would have an idea where we have life insurance, savings accounts, investment accounts, credit cards, etc.
FVNC says
My understanding is that wills should be reviewed if you move to a new state but may not need to be redrafted. I’m really hoping the need to redraft is rare, since we’re a military family, but I guess I’ll find out at some point. The lawyer who drafted our wills and my parents know where we keep our important documents. My husband and I are both lawyers, but I’m really glad we worked with an estate attorney to draft our wills, which turned out to be more complicated than I had anticipated (e.g., establishing a trust, determining age at which kiddo has access to assets, etc.). That said, for guardianship purposes, our lawyer told us the courts in our state always determine guardianship, ultimately, to ensure “best interests of the child,” and preferences of parents set forth in wills are evidence of the parents’ belief in best interests but not always definitive.
MNF says
Estate planning atty here. +1
We generally keep original documents in our safe and give a copy to the client. The general rule is that a valid will is going to be accepted in your new state when you move.
Meg Murry – you are an estate administration attorney’s dream, few people are that organized!
unexpectedlyexpecting says
Hive, I need some moral support (regular poster here) and maybe some stories from people who have survived.
I found out last week that I am – surprise! – 5 weeks pregnant with #3…#1 & 2 are 6 and 4 and we.were.done. We had finally come to this decision this year – and literally over the last 3 months have been giving away all the baby stuff. I’ve spent the last 6 days in shock. And nauseous. There was always a part of me that wanted 3 kids but I’ll be 40 shortly after baby is born, we were in the home stretch – it was getting easier (we had 2 really tough babies, sleeping issues, etc…). Husband is several years older than me. I’m at a critical point in my career. I can’t tell a soul about this in real life yet. I know we will get excited and of course we are going to love this baby. But I am first of all shocked and so scared. I’m scared:
– That it won’t be healthy. We rolled the dice twice and won – perfectly healthy babies. Now we’re both older and there could be something wrong. I’m terrified of this (to be honest this fear was the main reason that I didn’t try for #3).
– That this will break our marriage. We had a tough 4 years wading through the baby and toddler years and are just on the other side. I know multiple people whose marriages have been broken by the 3rd child. Of course no one regrets or blames the child but they can see that the challenge are what made it happen.
– That it’s going to affect me professionally in a negative way.
I don’t want to talk to anyone who knows me IRL until DH and I have fully processed the news. We WILL be happy about this, we just need some time to let it sink in. I’m looking for moral support here. Please tell me happy stories of 3 kid families and feel free to tell me that I’m being irrational and that it will all be OK.
Anon says
I have no personal experience with this, but kudos to you for trying to have a positive attitude in the face of what is a major wrench in our life plans. Remember that you are now experienced parents and that your kids are at an age where they are somewhat self-sufficient and may actually be pretty helpful with a new baby. My friends with 3+ kids all said that going from 1 kid to 2 kid was the biggest adjustment and that adding a third was really not a big deal (time-wise or financially). I imagine that would be even truer if your other kids are older.
unexpectedlyexpecting says
Thank you for this, yes, it’s true that my kids are self-sufficient so this time should be easier.
Scandia says
Hi,
I understand how you feel. We also thought being blessed with two healthy kids, will we be so lucky again? I was your age also and thought a lot about that.
It is different, since we hoped for 3 and did not feel done with 2. But I really feel that having the second kid was harder that the third. You loose the whole “can I love the next one just a much?”, because you know you will.” Also – you will not believe how relaxed you are about parenting with the third one. You know how to do it and you know that you know.
You and your family will be fine, but I understand the need to have time to process all this in your own time.
Best of luck from Scandia
Scandia says
Also, fwiw. looking around I have friends with two children, divorced and not, and friends with three children, divorced and not.
I do not see anything about the third one being extra hard on a marriage.
unexpectedlyexpecting says
Thank you so much Scandia this is just the kind of thing I need to hear. Everyone who knows me knows I really WANTED a 3rd child we just decided not to for practical reasons. I know I will love the next one as much as the first two…but I’m worried that my first two will think I don’t love them as much anymore. But thank you. I hope my 3rd one will be the easy baby I never got!
ANP says
I responded in more detail below but #3 has been a breeze compared to 1 and 2!
Meg Murry says
No direct experience (except for being “done” at 2 and fearing that I am jinxing myself every time I give away a piece of baby stuff), but I also wanted to say good for you for being honest and upfront about it instead of just sticking your head head in the sand.
As to one of your points though, about the 3rd child breaking the marriage – I suspect those marriages were already at their breaking point, and the 3rd child isn’t necessarily what triggered it, but rather that something would have been the final straw on those marriages, and being back in survival mode with a newborn probably accelerated it. If the newborn years were rough on you, would marriage counseling, or even just something like setting up a standing “monthly date night where we talk about the hard stuff” night now be a good idea?
unexpectedlyexpecting says
I KNEW I was jinxing myself! (Just kidding. But seriously. I’ve been on a mission to get my DH a vasectomy. I think he’s on board now.)
Thank you for this comment with very specific advice. Yes, the newborn years were rough on us. We need to go to counseling and we need to make it a priority. We have developed some really ugly communication habits over the last few years that come out especially when we are both stressed – which is likely to happen a lot in the next 2 years. So I don’t think we are at the breaking point but we could be if we have another newborn experience like the last one. So thank you.
Meg Murry says
I also wanted to add that it looks like from the ages you had 2 under 3 (or possibly 2 under 2). My kids are 4 years apart, and from what I can see with friends, juggling a newborn plus a 4 year old and newborn plus 2 or under is a completely different ball game – it’s so so so much easier with older kids who are self sufficient enough to be able to do things like use the bathroom, put on their own coats, feed themselves snacks and follow general directions instead of 2 year olds that have to be assisted with everything.
So work on your older two being self sufficient as much as possible (and give them huge praise for what big kids they are, look at how they can put on their own shoes, brush their own teeth, dress themselves, etc etc etc) and I think the newborn time might not be as bad as you remember – after all, you’ll have a clue what to do with this screaming baby, unlike kid #1, and you won’t also be trying to take care of a newborn and a 2 year old at once like kid #2. Heck, the 6 year old might even be old enough to be actually moderately helpful, at least with the 4 year old if not with the infant.
ANP says
Ohhhhh honey I was you a year ago, only much less positive in the face of what I saw to be absolutely devastating news. We had two healthy kids and I never wanted to be pregnant again, although my husband and I were aggressively pursuing adoption(which got put on hold as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test). I was on the verge of a major career move and could not believe the timing — for a host of reasons, this was just awful for me.
I won’t lie — it was a tough 9 months and I was a crabby jerk to my husband. Self-aware, but still a crabby jerk. In the past two months, I’ve started to come out of the fog and am just marveling at how great my life is (that’s not a humblebrag! Just that I feel so much better now than I did a year ago), even with this unexpected monkey wrench being thrown into our life plan. I was actually nervous I wouldn’t love our 3rd child as much as our first two, and while it took a little time to warm up she is absolutely wonderful and has totally become our family mascot. It was a tough road but very much worth it.
To address your specific concerns:
+ Health — I know this is a challenge, but you have limited control over this. Try not to worry until there’s something to stress about. Take care of yourself (healthy mama is a healthy baby) and just focus on other things. If you get bad news, there’s bad news — but why borrow/buy trouble? Easier said than done I realize!
+ Marriage — anecdotally, my husband and I are much better off now in terms of relationship strength than we were 2 years ago. I think it’s because we were able to weather a difficult storm together. The last year hasn’t been easy, but it definitely made us stronger.
+ Work — this one is so hard. I can tell you that (with advice and cheerleading from this group) I applied for and got my dream job during my second trimester of pregnancy. It was a huge reach for me and I was TERRIFIED I wasn’t going to get the role. At the same time, I knew I didn’t want to work somewhere that would “ding” me for being pregnant. So there are definitely happy endings to stories like these, but it’s scary nonetheless.
Chin up. I have to say I’m so impressed by your positive attitude — feel free to come here to vent, freak out, etc. #3 has been great for us and in a weird way I’m glad the universe made the decision on our behalf, because I never would have chosen to have a 3rd biological child.
(Oh — and my husband is getting a vasectomy this week!)
unexpectedlyexpecting says
THANK YOU!! I thought someone here had been through something similar. Seriously. Thank you for your words.
We were seriously thinking about adoption this year – I really wanted a 3rd kid, my DH would have gone for an opposite gender (we have two of same). We hadn’t actually done anything about it so it probably wasn’t going to happen but still. That’s how done with bio kids we were.
But thank you again. I will come back to vent and share. I’m so happy to hear of someone who has been there and come out happy.
ANP says
Anytime! This group has been so useful to me so many times — it’s the least I can do to boost someone else up :)
You will get through this. The hardest for me was at the beginning — literally every day I would wake up, wonder “What is different?” and realize I was in fact living my worst nightmare by being pregnant again. It was so, so weird. But it totally gets better, I promise! Light at the end of the tunnel and all that jazz.
Anonymous says
I’ve also been there!
It took me about half the pregnancy to warm up to the idea, but I was solidly excited by arrival date. It was, in honestly, a really hard pregnancy. Physically, a third time through felt like a lot, plus two kids to take care of. Our mantra from day 1 of finding out we were expecting Baby #3 was “Two more years!” We just focused on surviving the next two years.
Three kids is a whole new ball game (the carseats alone – gah!), but it’s got huge pluses, too. Obviously, there’s another awesome person in the house who you can’t imagine ever not having as part of the family. But it also breaks down the dichotomy of a two kid household. It’s easier to sign one kid up for an activity or replace one kid’s outgrown shoes without it feeling like one lonely person got left out. They can also switch up their playmates more.
Health – We felt the same way! Our approach is to basically keep our heads in the sand until baby is born (to each their own), and luckily we had another healthy child. Best wishes to you.
Marriage – There’s even less time for our relationship, but we are doing well. We’ve doubled down on what works for us (saying “I love you” daily, thank yous and apologies, finding the humor) and constantly remind each other that it WILL get better. Our marriage today isn’t what we had in mind, but we love each other, love our family, and we’ll have time when the house is quiet and lonely. (We actually say that out loud, lol). I do think that being partners in this brought us closer. For us, the worst of it was about 2-3 months after our first child was born, not after the third. The only thing the third kid did was restart the postpartum s*x life and the financial stress of another childcare payment, and I feel like we have a roadmap for that.
Work – I’ve had successes in my career after the third kiddo. I feel like a complete mess, but I really can’t say that I’ve had my career slow beside the maternity leave time.
It also finally convinced my husband to get the vasectomy!
Hang in there. You can do it!
unexpectedlyexpecting says
Thank you for this reply. I appreciate it.
lucy stone says
I miscarried at 12 weeks in April and I’m pregnant again! (Yay!) I’m waiting for my OB’s office to call me back so I can go in for bloodwork.
Edna Mazur says
Congrats!
Anon in NYC says
Congrats!
JJ says
Congrats!! So happy for you.
Pumping Question! says
Hi ladies. I have a Medela Freestyle. It’s such a pain! I keep getting this hissing sound in the spare parts (the joints that connect the flanges to the bottles) — it sounds like air is leaking, so it’s not getting a good suction, and whenever it happens, I get less milk. I am already just barely keeping up with my babe’s needs. I’ve called Medela a few times and they have sent me new parts, but it hasn’t helped. If I squeeze the parts together (so, force a tighter seal), the suction increases and it’s better, but that’s not at all convenient to do every time I have to pump. Has anyone had this problem? Have any advice?
Faye says
I have the PIS and the Harmony, not the Freestyle, so take this with a grain of salt. I’ve found that on my Harmony, which I think is a similar setup to the Freestyle, that poor connection in the joints means that I need to completely take apart every single piece, including all of the back caps and stuff, and wash it with soap and hot water and then use a steam clean bag. I must get some kind of microscopic debris back there that interferes with the seal.
And of course, check your membranes. Those little white buggers can get tiny tears that ruin suction. I replace mine probably once a month or so.
ChiLaw says
I have the PIS too, so also grains of salt, but non-Medela companies make one-piece flange/connectors, where the official ones are two pieces. It sounds like, if a similar piece exists for your pump, it could solve the problem?
Pumping Q says
Great suggestions! Thanks!
Anonymous says
I used the freestyle for two years and hated it (I preferred my freebie Avent and simple Harmony for the third year), but if this was an option, it sounds like a great solution.
I know the problem you are talking about and never figured out how to permanently solve it. I had a little luck with keeping blue painter’s tape in my pump bag.
October says
This isn’t really what you’re asking, but I have been using the Lansinoh double elec pump and love it! I don’t often see people talking about this one, so wanted to throw in a plug. It’s cheaper than the Medelas that I’ve seen so may be a good backup pump to have around. It’s also a closed system so easy to clean!
PQ says
Ohh… thanks for the tip. What are the things you like about it? I’ve noticed my supply is going down, so I’d be interested in trying another.
October says
In fairness, I haven’t tried any other pumps, but mostly because I’ve been satisfied with this one, which was a gift from a relative. It’s pretty small, has adjustable suction/speed settings and is easy to set up. I’ve also found it to be quite efficient (I can get 2-4 oz per side in about a ~15 min period, though YMMV since I know supply depends on so many factors). Oh, and I exclusively pumped for 11 weeks until my baby decided he wanted to latch (!), and it’s still going strong.
Thak says
Has anyone tried booking a night flight with a baby? My 11 MO goes to bed 7:30 / 8pm. Would it be genius, or completely ill-advised, to take him on a 2-hour flight that leaves at 8:30pm? (To visit family, so he’d be home & in a crib within an hour of landing). I figure he’d either sleep through the whole thing, or, just be REALLY cranky and a terror.
Worked for us says
We just did this for Thanksgiving and it went well. We purchased a seat so our 8 month old could fall asleep. Her normal bedtime is around 7/7:30 and we had an 8:00 flight. Boarded early and she was asleep before we taxied. That said, she is a good sleeper.
Syd says
We’ve had two post-bedtime flights, on the first one my then nine-month old was overstimulated and cried/fussed for the first hour before falling asleep. But the second time, at fourteen months, it worked like a charm and he slept the whole time. I’d say go for it, there’s the potential a kid is going to have a rough time no matter when the flight is, but at least you have a better chance of sleep at night!
EB0220 says
We did a red-eye with our kiddo once when she was about 1. She had an ear infection. We were in first class. Thank goodness my seatmate was a mom of 1 year old twins who was traveling on business. She said we made her feel a little less lonely. Even with the ear infection, kiddo only fussed for 30 min or so and then slept the rest of the team (~3.5 hrs).
NewMomAnon says
I feel silly posting this question with all the really deep questions above (thank you to this awesome community for making it OK to share these tough thoughts), but I would appreciate thoughts on pull-ups. My kiddo is interested in the potty and wants to sit on it all the time. I picked up some 2T-3T Target brand pull ups and now she won’t wear her regular diapers. But the pull-ups seem too small; they don’t quite cover her butt. And she is immediately aware of having peed in them, which tells me they are not as absorbent as her old diapers (which maybe isn’t a bad thing).
So – favorite brands? Sizing? What do you do for night time? And the sticky tabs on the side; do you unstick those so you can put them on like a regular diaper, or do you slide them on like regular undies and use the tabs only in case of an emergency?
ANP says
I like Target brand (it’s all we’ve ever used in our house). Why don’t you go up a size if they seem too small? We never used them when we were NOT actively potty training, and now my son wears one overnight and for nap, but that’s it. How old is your child, and are you actively training or just encouraging interest in the potty?
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo is almost 2 – she is very excited about sitting on the potty, but not really doing anything once there. I’m trying to capitalize on her enthusiasm by making it easy to try the potty as much as possible. I am dreading “real” potty training. She is definitely not ready for night time potty training.
I will go up a size – I wasn’t sure whether pull-ups are supposed to have a trimmer fit, but now that I wrote out that her butt isn’t covered….seems like these are too small.
mascot says
Pull-ups aren’t as absorbent as diapers because you want the child to know what “wet” feels like. They make overnight pull-ups that are slightly more absorbent. Even then, I’d still encourage limiting fluids before bed, really good mattress protector, to the potty immediately upon waking up, etc. If she’s not dry at naps, then she’s not ready for nighttime. I think we used Huggies. We treated them like underwear to put on and only ripped the tabs to open in a hurry or in a mess.
Betty says
We had to go up a size for pull-ups. You are right that pull-ups are not as absorbent, but like you, once we went down the pull-up road, my daughter wouldn’t go back. I am preferential to Huggies Pull-Ups. The sides are still adjustable and can be opened without ripping, which is nice for accidents. We treat them like undies and pull them up except for an accident where pulling down would create more of a mess.
Meg Murry says
Regarding the sticky tabs – you put on pullups like underwear, and only use the sticky tabs to take off really badly soiled ones (just wet ones can get pulled down like underwear as well). They don’t re-stick all that well, so try not to open them unless you are removing the pullup.
Honestly, pullups are a pain in the neck (2X the price of diapers at half the absorbency) and for my oldest they just prolonged potty training because he didn’t really hesitate to go in the pullup any more than he had in a diaper. They were a tiny bit easier for daycare to use since he could pull them up and down himself, but he didn’t really make good progress on potty training until we went to cold turkey underwear.
Unless daycare says she needs to be in pullups for potty training, I would save them for when she is nearly trained and you are using them just for emergencies (before a car ride or outing and at nap time). Or if she’s super excited about them, use them as a reward for sitting on the potty (so if she says “I want to wear a pullup, no diapers” don’t give her one until she’s at least sat on the potty).
My best advice on potty training is to focus on celebrating “dry pants” (ask her to check her underwear/pullup every half hour, or even 15 minutes, and at a minimum give a high five for dry pants, preferably make a big deal out of it, my son liked to do a little “dry pants dance”) and celebrate/reward sitting on the potty. Actually going on the potty gets a high 5 too, but focusing on staying dry and sitting on the potty when asked got us a lot farther than rewarding “results” in the potty. And we didn’t use the word “accident” we just said “oh, you have wet pants, that’s no fun, lets get you changed”.
NewMomAnon says
Thank you! I keep hoping she will magically potty train herself. This advice sounds like the reality I probably need….
hoola hoopa says
+1 to all this. Pull ups are definitely not a means of potty training (you need to go diaper free). I found that I actually preferred a slightly loose diaper (huggie/Kirkland) for pulling up/down in transition periods.
We found ~30-45 min intervals good. One kid ‘needed’ the motivation of M&Ms. Otherwise, exactly what MM describes.
Betty says
Looking for a little moral support: Earlier this year, I jumped from a lawyer-centric government organization where I was surrounded by working professional/lawyer mothers, to the private/in house sector. Suddenly, I have found myself to be the only professional working mom with young kids among my cohort (mid-to-upper management). There are some working parents around, but they are either men (with older kids) or worker bees (I don’t mean that even slightly pejoratively). No one wants to see their lawyer frazzled from daycare drop-off or desperately needing advice on a toddler who jumped out of the crib. The other lawyers or managers are older, single, childless and/or all of the above. I have found it to be lonely and tough to act like I always have my stuff together!
Anon S says
Ladies, any recommendations for a mat to put underneath a high chair? My almost 8 month old daughter is starting to get messy with solids. Right now we’re putting a towel underneath, but I’d rather find a mat that I can wipe down instead of a towel that I have to wash each time. Would prefer either a plain mat, not something with bright colors that looks “baby-ish” if you know what I mean. Thanks for sharing what works for you!
ChiLaw says
Wow, I have the exact same question. We’ve been washing towels like nuts, and I’m ready for something better. I actually bought something that is supposed to solve the problem, from Amazon, but it feels just like a plastic table cloth and I’m both afraid it will tear, and afraid that it will be _harder_ to clean than a towel because it can’t go in the washing machine.
Anon S says
Funny you have the same question, and I am also in Chicago Law! :)
Meg Murry says
We never had a mat (but we had a dog who licked the floor clean, so there’s that) but at my MILs we sometimes used a plastic tablecloth (both the plastic-y ones with fabric backs and the cheap ones that are meant to be used once and disposed) under the highchair on her carpeted floor. A friend re-used one of the mats meant to go under office chairs, which was nice because it was clear, so you don’t need to worry about color.
Pigpen's Mama says
We have this one for our kiddo and are happy with it — it’s clear, so one less garish kid-thing in the house
http://www.amazon.com/Jeep-Protective-Booster-Plastic-Protector/dp/B001IYQ7QS
However, she’s a messy eater (hence the handle) and a thrower, so this is a little small, but any bigger and I’d be tripping over it.
I’ve heard good things about using plastic table cloths or shower curtains as well.
Pigpen's Mama says
Also, it’s pretty sturdy — haven’t worried about it tearing. I wipe it down and will occasionally take it out back and hose it down.
Chi Squared says
I bought a 50″ round Jeep protective floor mat (clear plastic) for under the high chair. It’s held up well for a year and a half. I spot clean dropped food at the time, and sweep crumbs every few days. Back with the kid was dropping more food overboard, I would take it out onto the porch once a week and wipe it down with a Clorox wipe.
Anon S says
Chi Squared, is the mat you’re referring to the one that Pigpen’s mama linked?
Chi Squared says
Yes, that’s the one!
SC says
This is a serious question, not meant to be sarcastic or judgmental at all. Are these floor mats or protectors necessary if you don’t have carpet? We have wood floors, and I just let the floor get messy and clean that up afterwards with a paper towel or dish cloth, depending on how environmentally conscientious I want to be and how many clean-ish dish cloths we have nearby. Will 1.5-2 years’ worth of baby food mess up the floor? Or do people find it easier to clean the mat?
Anon S says
SC, good question. I have all hardwood. My husband is paranoid about anything getting dropped on the hardwood, he thinks it will warp the wood
Anonymous says
Dropped food won’t affect the floor at all if you clean up after meals. If anything, I’d be more worried about moisture getting trapped under a mat and ruining the finish.
Seriously Who Am I says
I had to close an email from my daughter’s daycare because I was about to cry. The reason? It was announcing that all children over the age of 18 months will “sing” a song for the Christmas program. I just started thinking about all those cute tiny children singing, and WATERWORKS.
I never though I’d be that overly emotional mom, but here we are, apparently.
Anon in NYC says
Oh, I’m right there with you. I received a daycare email with photos of my 6 month old sitting and playing at a water table (i.e., completely innocuous), and thought my heart would burst with love. What happened to me.