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At Corporette, we love Barefoot Dreams’ cardigans, especially the Circle Cardigan with its flattering drape and deep pockets. Although it’s perfect for running errands, or even a chilly office, it’s also ideal for nursing.
My son was born in the fall and this cardigan kept me warm while I nursed him throughout the colder months. I also found it roomy enough to cover both of us up when we were out and about. While I was on parental leave, I paired it with a nursing cami and leggings.
I especially love the cardigan’s cozy, almost silky texture — my daughter even likes to pet it. (We don’t have pets so this may be as close as she’s going to get to a furry friend.)
This will be my go-to gift for new moms: The sizing is generous and it comes in a range of neutral colors (I have a heathered grayish-blue) that should suit everyone’s taste.
The cardigan is $116 at Nordstrom and Saks Fifth Avenue and available in XS/S–L/XL. CozyChic Lite Circle Cardigan
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
I had one of these cardigans. Washing it turned the wide ribbed border into a weird ruffle.
Anonanonanon says
Hahahaha! I’ve had that happen with things before, “weird ruffle” is the perfect way to describe it!
Anonymous says
Anyone have recommendations for pants that are more comfortable than jeans but more socially acceptable to wear in public than leggings and sweatpants? I would love to find something I can wear to daycare dropoff and not immediately change out of when I get home.
Cb says
It’s too cold for them now, but I had a pair of Uniqlo patterned joggers that I wore during the summer. But now I just wear running tights, I’m more likely to go for a walk/do a bit of yoga at lunch when I’m wearing clothes appropriate for it.
Anonanonanon says
Athleta women’s wander stash skinny pant. I’ve had them for years and have them in two sizes (one normal one for bloaty times). They are so so so comfortable but look like black skinny pants out in the world. There is some kind of wide elastic inside the waistband that makes them comfortable. Fwiw I find leggings exceedingly uncomfortable (I don’t get it! They’re tight and make you itchy, why are they comfortable?!) but can wear these pants all day at home, even when I was teleworking in odd positions on my bed before I made a home office. I have pretty severe stomach issues and so I’m sensitive to things that I feel like squeeze me, and these fit around the waist without feeling like I was being squeezed.
I’m a skinny pear and these fit true to size, if not one size down for me. I have them in the same size as my madewell curvy fit skinny jeans and in one size down from my madewell jeans, for reference. If they came in a charcoal color or Navy I’d probably own even more of them.
Anonanonanon says
Also I’ll add that yes the price is steep for wear-at-home pants but I’ve had them around 3 years and they have not faded or pilled or shown any wear at all.
Anonymous says
Thanks, I’ll check them out! I don’t find athletic leggings like the Zella or LuluLemon comfortable at all either because they squeeze you so hard. But I have some plain cotton leggings from Target and Old Navy that are very comfortable – they’re basically like more sweatpants but with a narrower leg opening.
anonymous says
These days I think leggings are perfectly acceptable to wear in public. I prefer thicker ponte knit leggings with a longer top. I like the Stevie Ponte Knit Pants from Old Navy.
Anon says
Vuori joggers maybe? Although everyone here wears leggings, nothing wrong with wearing them in public!
Anonymous says
Do you have a pair of them? I got some for Christmas and am really disappointed at how thin they are. I kept them and wear them, but I can’t imagine wearing them out of the house. Maybe in the summer as a lightweight pant.
Other says
Not the previous poster but I do and I looove them. I also live in Texas, so they’re kind of perfect for down here. They’re so soft they’ve kind of ruined me for all other pants! And DH genuinely told me he thought they were flattering! I’d hold on to them until it warms up a bit!
Anon says
Maybe I have no shame? Or perhaps I am like one of those white dudes in cargo shorts whose legs don’t get cold? I also wear leggings in public with wild abandon.
10:17 AM Anon says
Oh my, I hope my comment didn’t come out wrong. I am so much not here to judge. I wear all sorts of leggings and athlesiure out regularly. Mine just seem so thin that I almost feel like they’re defective. I was just really surprised that they weren’t more substantial. Especially given the price. They seem like they could unravel at any moment.
Anne says
Aren’t leggings classic daycare drop off clothes? Especially with WFH it seems like most people are dropping off kids in leggings and sneakers.
Anonymous says
I wore leggings for daycare drop off today, and I am even worse than sneakers: I wear crocs and socks because anything beyond slipping my feet into shoes is too much for me in the morning. I have gone full Zoom outfit today, with leggings on the bottom, nice sweater and jewelry on top. And sports bra and athletic T underneath, because I going to work out at lunch today. :)
AwayEmily says
Same! I’m wearing joggers on the bottom, a nice sweater on top.
Anonymous says
ME TOO. I even did my hair this AM but wearing my new “day PJs” on the bottom.
Totally agree that dressing for athletic pursuits makes it more likely that i fit in some light stretching etc. during the day. (sweaty workouts are for preshower).
Also makes it more comfy for sitting on my exercise ball for good chunks of the day.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes this – I see most parents in Athleisure wear at drop off and pick up. I think leggings are perfectly acceptable to wear out – at least I’ve been doing so for the past year!
Anonymous says
Most parents at my daycare seem to be working in an office and dressing accordingly, so I feel too dumpy in leggings or sweatpants. I wish!
Realist says
Hue’s fleece-lined jeggings are my go-to for these types of situations. Look like jeans but have a stretch waist.
EP-er says
I have been rocking the Land’s End Starfish Straight Leg or Slim Leg pants. They are pants, not leggings, but super comfy.
Anon says
Charter Club pull on jeans. They have a yoga pant type waistband.
Anonymous says
Lululemon On the Fly. I like the woven ones.
TheElms says
I’m going to try these: https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/women-heattech-ultra-stretch-leggings-pants-429152.html?dwvar_429152_color=COL09&cgid=women-heattech
I also really like these from Macy’s: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/inc-pull-on-ponte-skinny-pants-created-for-macys?ID=2263532 There are several variations and a curvy fit.
Anonymous says
Since when are leggings not socially acceptable to wear in public?
Anon says
yea apparently i’m dressed inappropriately 99.9% of the time?!?!
Anon says
Socially acceptable maybe because athleisure seems to be a sticking trend, but I am still on team leggings are not pants. Unless I am actively working out or going to or from the gym (to be clear not doing right now), leggings are not acceptable in public in my book. Working from home all day and not leaving the house except for a mid-day walk (i.e., exercise), sure, but not in public.
Anonymous says
I agree with you, but I don’t count daycare dropoff as public. I literally do not do anything “in public” these days except ice skate, and leggings are appropriate for that. 2020 was the year of the legging for me.
Ifiknew says
I disagree, I wear sweater, leggings, boots to do everything, playground, grocery store, library etc. I have a 3 and 1 yr old though so I can’t change a few times a day
Anonymous says
Ok Queen Elizabeth how about a nice tweedy skirt? Leggings are 109% acceptable. If you don’t like them that’s a different statement.
Anon says
I was ready to fight you on this claim that leggings aren’t pants, but according to dictionary.com pants are trousers, which are defined as “usually loose-fitting.” However further research has revealed to me that many other definitions omit the loose-fitting adjective. The debate continues! :)
Io says
Betabrand.
For Leakproof Cup says
I am just catching up on yesterday’s comments, and wanted to throw a recommendation in for a Tervis sippy. It’s small, which I like for bed when they don’t need a ton of water, and it is truly the only cup we’ve ever had that doesn’t leak OR let a determined kid force the water out. We use the Thermos funtainer for the water during the day, but my 2 1/2 can still make a mess with it. I have no clue what he does, but he can get water out of every other cup we’ve tried except the Tervis.
OP says
Thank you!
Tea/Coffee says
x-post from the main site:
Technical gift help, please! BLUF: 10YO DD wants a way to stream music in her room. She does not have (will not have) a phone or ipad.
Background: We have sonos speakers throughout the living areas of our house (two floors) with an old iphone that can be used to drive the streaming, on each floor. These are so old that they only work if they are actively plugged in, LOL.
DD’s bedroom is on the 3rd floor (currently sonos-less and iphone-less). She does not have a phone, ipod touch or ipad. We are only somewhat concerned with giving her something internet-accessible in her room… she knows that there would be MAJOR consequences for installing tiktok or listening to WAP for example :-) We just don’t want to spend a billion dollars on this setup.
We’d be fine with a no-name bluetooth speaker – but still need something to drive the streaming. No additional near-death phones in the house. Thoughts, recommendations, alternatives?
Anon says
We use a google home we got for free in my son’s room. Obviously some people don’t like smart speakers due to privacy concerns, but, it’s not in our main room and my son likes that he can ask it to play his favorite music.
Anon says
I’m honestly curious, how is Google building a profile on your minor son better than it building a profile on the adult family members?
Spirograph says
Speculating, but one of the concerns about smart speakers is that they are “always listening” and pull audio and have humans listen to it to validate things are working as intended and help train their AI. Presumably the PP is less concerned about the conversations that might be overheard in her son’s room than in the main room where the adults might be talking about sensitive topics.
(I’m team no-smart-speakers, period, but I understand the convenience is appealing.)
Anon says
But that’s exactly my point. If they’re always listening, it’s just as problematic in a child’s room as it is in a living room. I would argue even moreso, since a minor can’t really consent to letting Google into their conversations.
Spirograph says
I 100% agree with you that it’s problematic, and I do not trust big tech to be benevolent stewards of all the data they’re vacuuming up (I don’t think they’re actively bad, just primarily profit-motivated). But if I *were* to rationalize it:
In theory, the QC audio is not used to populate the profile. The profile is built from legit activations after the wake words are used. That said, I’ve heard plenty of anecdata that someone mentioned XYZ product in the vicinity of a smart speaker and all of a sudden started getting ads for it. In any case, I’d generally be less concerned that my smart speaker overheard my kids talking about dinosaurs and Beyblades than if it heard me and my husband talking about the specifics of our family’s financial or health situation, political views, etc etc.
Anon says
oh because he’s hardly ever in there, so there’s not really anything to overhear. like he is basically just in his room to sleep and get dressed.
Anonanonanon says
How about a Kindle Fire and a Bluetooth speaker? You oversee the downloading of the music, and don’t give her your wifi password?
TheElms says
An Alexa? She can just ask it to play music. Or a SonosOne that has an Alexa built in.
Anon says
yeah we just have an echo dot in our kids’ room. works really well for playing music. we’ve tried audio books too but honestly it’s a little confusing for me.
Realist says
We use a kindle fire with super tight parental controls in my child’s bedroom to listen to audiobooks when they can’t sleep. I created a separate profile just for that kindle and it can only access audiobooks, nothing else. I download the books and leave it on airplane mode most of the time. It seems to work ok.
Anon says
Do CDs still exist? I guess they are practical here but I’m honestly not even sure boomboxes are still sold to play them on.
Anon says
ebay for both the cds and the cd player
Leigh says
How do people keep track of their freezer foods? I have a basement deep freeze + upstairs freezer. I’m looking for a system so that I use up my frozen foods in a reasonable manner and get them into our meal rotation. (totally minor problem, I know)
Anon says
I do a full inventory about twice a year and put the contents in a spreadsheet. I use it when menu planning and making my grocery shopping lists. I don’t keep it perfectly updated all the time, but it definitely helps.
Anonanonanon says
I have sticky notes on my basement one and I take off the sticky when I move an item upstairs or cook it. Not high-tech but it’s the only think I’d actually stay on top of (and my office is in the basement so the sticky notes are always close by)
Anonanonanon says
Also, it took a bit, but we also had to get realistic about what we are/are not going to use. For example, we never thaw and use frozen raw chicken. We just don’t despite our sincere intentions. We do thaw and use vacuum-packed ground beef and sausage from our local farmer’s market or pulled pork/chicken we mail order from a bbq place, but for some reason, we never do with the stuff that comes on a styrofoam tray. As a result, most of what is in our basement freezer is just duplicates of what we keep upstairs. (Eggos, stouffers meals or meals I made and froze, frozen pizzas, frozen breakfast sandwiches, extra bags of chicken nuggets, extra bags of frozen cut up grilled chicken, extra bags of frozen biscuits, etc.)
Katala says
If you have an Instant Pot, salsa chicken from frozen is my favorite thing to use it for. Drop the frozen breasts/thighs in with a jar of salsa, pressure cook (we like 30 mins but it takes experimenting), slow release then use an electric hand mixer to shred the chicken in with the salsa. So good.
mascot says
I have to do an inventory a couple of times a year. Low-tech: white board hanging above chest freezer or high-tech : Google Keep list on my phone. Since I’m the one who does meal planning for the house, this works pretty well. We also use reusable grocery bags and milk crates to keep things corralled in the big freezer.
Anonymous says
Love the bag idea in the freezer.
Every time i go to Costco (so every couple of months) i update a plain white piece of paper with what is in the freezer with * beside stuff that needs to get used up quickly (because it is not from the current run). I masking tape this list to the inside of the kitchen cabinet. Sometimes i cross things off as i go but mostly it is just a rough guide of what we need to eat before the next run.
currently working up the courage to defrost the turkey that i bought before xmas before i decided to order takeout xmas dinner….
Anonymous says
I try to keep the upstairs freezer (under fridge) is mostly stuff that I need quickly and would only be using part of – frozen berries / veggies / muffins for school snacks that type of thing. Downstairs is the stuff where i am making a decision about prepping for a meal – sausages or chicken or soup that i made etc.
Anonymous says
I do something similar. Things I need quickly and use part of go in the kitchen freezer, such as bread, muffins and other kid breakfast items, berries, open packages of veggies that I use in recipes, and half-used recipe ingredients that I stick in the freezer. I also keep prepared meals in the kitchen freezer so I can pull them out when I’m just too tired to cook the planned meal. We call the garage fridge/freezer the “grocery store” and use it for staple items that we always keep on hand for cooking. The garage fridge was a pandemic addition. I try to keep it stocked with our usual staples at a certain level to insulate us from supply chain problems. I keep certain things in certain spots, replace them as they are used, and put the replacements in the back or on the bottom so the oldest packages get used up first. This is a huge change for me. Our kitchen is tiny, so pre-pandemic I would buy everything I needed the week I planned to use it.
anonamama says
these are great ideas. i will try the white board one! last year, i added these containers to our chest freezer and it has helped a lot to categorize things: https://www.containerstore.com/s/trash-recycling/blue-6-gal.-stackable-recycle-bin-with-white-handle/1d?productId=10032152&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI16CY_PKW7gIVAoiGCh1TsQgREAQYBSABEgIQdfD_BwE
anon says
I tried Google Keep but couldn’t keep up with it. The best thing I’ve done is to shop my freezer first when meal planning.
AwayEmily says
We do something similar but even less organized — when I meal plan, I often designate one night as “freezer night” and figure I will just take a random assortment of stuff out of there for dinner.
Anonymous says
I do this in combination with only putting stuff in the freezer that I know we’ll eat (as suggested above). Really we only have 4 categories of stuff in there: fish that my dad catches and shares, game that my dad catches and shares, frozen meals, and frozen fruits/veggies. Like the poster above, I shop the freezer first after I meal plan. Only a few “leftover” type things get thrown in for later. The main one is slices of nice ham following the holidays. It’s just not enough to really need a fancy system.
blueberries says
My deep freeze is filled in 2 gallon zip top bags that each have a category (tortillas, fish, veggies, etc). I keep a list of the bags and generally what’s in them taped to the lid if the deep freeze and a pencil nearby.
My deep freezer is mostly for duplicates of what we generally eat, so there isn’t a ton of variety and it doesn’t change much over time.
anon says
I generally don’t utilize frozen foods as part of my meal plan. I am a very organized person, and we do come up with a meal plan in general. But I have learned that I am just not a “make a huge batch of something to freeze for later” or “let’s eat these leftovers months from now” kind of gal. And I have made peace with that.
Pogo says
Just a vent that while my four month old is sleeping like, well, a four month old, my 3yo is really killing me. He constantly needs blankets adjusted, feet covered, find my lovey, etc. He refuses to let my husband help him so between him and the baby I’m up every other hour. He used to sleep great! I’m sure it’s a combination of the baby and the pandemic, but he hasn’t slept well for months and months. So frustrating, and I think only some kind of CIO would really work but I don’t want him to wake the baby with his wailing.
Cb says
We’ve had the blanket issue too, one thing we’ve done is make a game of practicing pulling up the blankets to his chin. And it’s helped a little bit, although I returned to our room last night and muttered something about gluing him into the bed.
Anonymous says
commiseration. I expect babies to be bad sleepers, but it’s super frustrating when a preschooler gets in on the action. My 4 yo is in a super snuggly phase and has been crawling into bed with me every morning. It’s fine if it’s the last 15 min or so before I was going to get up anyway, but it’s been creeping earlier and earlier and really cutting into my actual sleep time. Last night he came down at 12:30 am and cried enough to wake up everyone when I escorted him back to his own bed.
Anon says
so i have 2 year olds who are fortunately still in cribs with sleep sacks, but they are tall, getting ready to grow out of their sleep sacks and I read so much on here about people whose kids become terrible sleepers with blankets. is there a safety reason not to use a sleeping bag on a bed? Has anyone tried Beddys? They are kind of expensive, but honestly, to me sleep is almost priceless so i might be willing to purchase
Pogo says
I would have kept him in whatever worked but he decided he was done with sleep sacks and only wants his Blankey. Not even the nice Pottery Barn Kids quilt I got him in a construction motif. His ratty, knitted blanket.
Anonymous says
Halo’s sleep sack with feet holes goes really large. Like large enough to fit 5 year olds. So I’d just buy them larger sleep sacks. FWIW, we had zero issue giving my daughter a blanket.
Anonymous says
My 99th percentile height daughter outgrew Halo sleepsacks shortly before turning 2. I don’t think they’re that large. Woolino has a toddler sleep sack that’s meant to fit 2 to 4 year olds. They’re expensive but they’re good quality and sized very generously. She’s still in one at almost 3 and seems to have plenty of room to grow so I think the 2-4 year old age range is if anything an underestimate. She wears mostly size 6-7 clothing, for reference.
Anon says
I just bought a toddler Woolino for my kid – It’s super long and I think is designed to fit up to 4T, but seems bigger.. Not sure if any other brands make them that long but I’m planning to keep him in it for the foreseeable future.
Anon says
Last night my daughter got out of bed to tell us that she hurt her elbow getting out of bed…
So…I understand.
Anon. says
My almost 5 yr old comes to our bed 50% of the time, and if we’re lucky, only 15 min before actual wake-up time, but most of the time somewhere between 12am and 2am. Then he steals my blanket, hits me with his arms or kicks his legs (honestly, how many limbs can kids have????), or he starts talking or singing at 5am.
Every attempt to carry or walk him back to his bed has failed.
Sigh. (But hey, I did the same thing to my parents until I was well into elementary school age.)
Anon4this says
I found out this morning that my FIL, who is very high risk (age plus heart/lung issues), went to the Ohio State game last night (had to fly to get there). My husband is sort of a mess over it. He’s so angry and also worried that his dad will catch coronavirus and likely die. I’m not on the best of terms with my FIL to begin with but now I feel like I can’t ever trust his judgment again. We don’t see him a lot in normal times, we’ve seen him once in the last 10 months -outside in masks, distanced. But now I feel like we should basically not see him again; certainly not before everyone is vaccinated, including my kid, and community spread numbers are way down. But I’m just so sad for my husband, furious with FIL, angry with everyone who doesn’t take the pandemic seriously, and just out of mental space for anything. I guess I just want some words of commiseration or hugs. I’m not sure.
Anonymous says
Ugh, this is beyond disappointing, and I’m sorry your FIL made that choice. I have been trying really hard to let adults make their own decisions about their risk level and not judge them for it aside from letting it inform my own decisions, but it’s hard when a decision is so objectively bad.
anon says
I’m really sorry and have no wise words, other than to validate your feelings. I, too, would be upset and disappointed. I don’t think your family would be out of line for refusing contact until everyone is vaccinated. We’ve essentially had to do that with a branch of DH’s family, because they cannot be trusted. At least six of them have had Covid, with varying levels of severity, but it has not changed their behavior one bit.
Anonymous says
Commiseration. We are having similar issues with my husband’s dad and it is so hard. He feels that his dad has prioritized dinner parties over time with his children and grandchildren for the remaining years of his life. It’s not just the loss of in-person contact that stings, it’s the fundamental difference in values and the judgment that his children and grandchildren are just not that important to him.
Anon says
yes, my FIL is a doctor (not treating covid patients or anything even close) and was unwilling to quarantine and not work before coming to visit us, yet goes to a gym, eats at restaurants, dinner parties, etc. and got covid and then had to quarantine anyway – so apparently he can quarantine for covid… this morning i was talking to a friend who was telling me she is pregnant and i asked if her mom will be able to visit to help with the baby, but apparently her cousin is planning a large wedding right before she is due and her sister (a healthcare worker) is planning a wedding shortly before that, so yea she won’t be having her mother coming to help her under those circumstances. no real advice, just commiseration. it is sad to see the differences in values as relates to covid and the election tear families apart
Anonymous says
I understand why you’re frustrated, but I also sort of feel like he gets to make decisions about his own life for himself (this is assuming he’s complying with mask orders, etc. and not recklessly putting others at risk). Maybe he feels like he doesn’t have much time left regardless of Covid and this is how he wants to spend it. Just because you wouldn’t make the same decision doesn’t mean his decision is objectively wrong, although I understand why it hurts that he’s choosing football games over being able to see his grandkids. If you want to keep your family away from him until you’re all vaccinated, that’s definitely your prerogative.
Anonymous says
It is objectively wrong, though, because he’s engaging in potential superspreader behavior.
Anonymous says
I guess we disagree, but I don’t think flying on a plane and attending an outdoor football game with attendance at 25% of normal is “superspreader behavior” assuming he wore his mask and followed all social distancing guidelines. The risk to himself is certainly a lot higher than if he’d stayed home, but events like these haven’t been linked to mass outbreaks the way, say, large indoor weddings have. I also think, regardless of the risk, if he’s not violating any laws or regulations the proper place for blame is the organization or government that permitted this activity, not with the individuals who choose to take part in legally permissible events. I have zero use for people who refuse to wear masks where required or throw parties that violate gathering size limits or sneak into places in violation of travel quarantines, but that doesn’t sound like it was the case here.
SC says
I tend to agree. I am in a SEUS state that leans Republican. Our Democratic governor just held a press conference telling people, Just because something is permitted, doesn’t mean you should do it. Just because a business is open doesn’t mean you should patronize it. He was encouraging people to get takeout instead of eating indoors at restaurants and to get groceries delivered or do curbside pickup. He told people not to gather with anyone outside their immediately families, and reminded them that outside is always better than indoors. And, yes, that’s all true. But he’s the governor, and we’re operating under his emergency orders. Restaurants, gyms, salons, casinos, malls and nonessential businesses are open at 50% capacity. Churches are open at 75% capacity. Indoor gatherings and events like weddings are allowed to have 75 people indoors or a max of 25% occupancy, whichever is less. Except indoor venues like sports arenas have special permission to have more. We had our second highest death toll since the pandemic began yesterday, and he’s continuing those restrictions, not tightening them.
Oh, and the governor told people they shouldn’t be spending time out of their homes, except to go to work. My office, which is not even close to an essential business, has required us to work in person since June, despite many people testing positive for Covid at various points. The same is true for most people I know who work in offices in non-essential businesses.
I mean, no wonder people are confused. No wonder they’re just doing what they want at this point. And no wonder the pandemic is out of control, and people are dying in huge numbers.
Anonymous says
Yes, this is how I feel about it, too. It would be great if everyone would make the safest decisions possible, but we can’t count on that, especially after 10 months. So to the extent that I blame anyone, it’s the people in power who create the opportunity for a super spreader events, either by failing to have clear guidance that prohibits them, or by directly hosting. The people who attend bear some responsibility, but build it and they will come.
My own example: DH wanted to take my son to a kid hockey tournament gathering teams from all over the state in a hotel where they will eat, stay and play for 3 full days. I vetoed because I feel like it follows the letter of the law without really following the spirit, and it’s selfish and an unacceptable risk given that we have other children and all are going to school in person (TBH I’m more worried about closing daycare or school than the illness itself). DH, on the other hand, is at the point where he will comply with everything mandatory but is done going above and beyond. Understandable, even if I disagree, and to his credit he backed me and presented it to our son as a joint decision. If the organizers weren’t allowed to / didn’t host the tournament, though, it wouldn’t be a question.
Anon4this says
Thanks everyone. Its just a really rough day.
Anon-please says
Completely frivolous ask – looking for inspiration of what to wear to the church for baptism in a few weeks. NE city so it will be chilly. It will be just the priest, my husband, myself and the baby so I know outfit does not really matter but I would like to take a family picture and look halfway decent. My pre-pregnancy dresses are not fitting yet as my chest (and waist) are larger. Husband suggested I just squeeze into one of the prior dresses as they will close, but I would really prefer to wear something that I feel comfortable (and put together) in.
Sara says
This one is so cozy on!
https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Maternity-Brushed-Nursing-Sargasso/dp/B07DHP8N98/ref=sr_1_36?dchild=1&keywords=nursing+dress&qid=1610469430&sr=8-36
Sara says
Or go Kate Middleton and wear a lovely coat and great earrings
anonamama says
Outfit does matter, and please ask your DH to squeeze into some of his shorts from college next time he suggests something like that. You just had a baby! At 3 months PP, in chilly weather, I wore the Lilly Pulitzer Gracelynn tunic dress (old style but available poshmark/ebay) – navy with gold detailing gave it a nice put together look while I was larger in chest and waist. Some ideas:
– Boden Edie or Gemma jersey wrap dress
– Ann taylor mock neck belted dress
-Ann taylor has some ‘flare’ dress styles that would be comfortable
– Loft button tiered midi dress (they also have some of the ‘flare’ styles.
– slim black pants and a pretty blouse (j. crew factory button up blouse; just noticed some nice ones at Banana Republic factory – drapey v neck blouse)
If you want to go the sweater dress route, nothing clingy; good tights for any dress option and a healthy spray of static cling. Also, go mask up and get your hair blown out. you deserve it!
anonamama says
Coming back to add, I’m sure your husband is wonderful, he may genuinely not know how you’re feeling about your body right now. A new dress, a blowout, are all justifiable ‘quality of life’ expenses for a situation like this!
DLC says
I agree that this is not a frivolous question at all! It’s a special event and it’s just as much about you as the baby… you definitely deserve to feel good about how you look!
Anon says
do you have a maternity dress that you like? honestly, i’m 2 years postpartum and i have a few maternity dresses that work as regular non maternity dresses – last time i wore it in a pre-covid world, someone asked me where i got it. do not squeeze into something you aren’t comfortable in
DLC says
If you are nursing, I would go ahead and get a nice dress you can nurse in. My kids all had to nurse before and after baptism, so i appreciated having something that made that easy. Also then you have a nice nursing dress to wear for other occasions. My church appropriate nursing dresses are from ASOS and Latched Mama.
Anonymous says
Along this line, I really liked the Seraphine dresses – I’ll link to a few. Pair some tights and it could work well. I liked how these made me look in the early days after pregnancy.
Anonymous says
https://www.seraphine.com/en-us/2-in-1-animal-print-maternity-and-nursing-dress/
https://www.seraphine.com/en-us/nursing-knit-dress-roll-neck-topper/
https://www.seraphine.com/en-us/navy-mock-sweater-maternity-nursing-dress/ (this is most like one I have and it’s so good)
Pogo says
I wore a dress from Leota this time – I find them pretty forgiving and there are several (wrap dress style) that you can nurse in. Agree with others that at a young age they likely won’t make it the whole time without nursing.
I also wore spanx and strategically held the baby in front of my midsection for all photos.
Overnight water says
I asked this yesterday but late in the day. My 2 year old has been wanting water at night. I’d like to leave something for him in his crib. We tried his munchkin 360 cup but he knocked it on its side and it leaked everywhere and led to 3am chaos. Any ideas? Do 360 cups typically leak like this (we have the stainless steel, wondering if the plastic is better?)
Anonymous says
Thermos funtainer from Walmart. Push button to open and access straw. Basically leak proof and easy to use plus water doesn’t warm. They are our go-to water bottles.
Anon says
We haven’t used 360 cups much, but one of the reasons we abandoned them is because they always leaked if they ended up sideways in a backpack and it drove me crazy. And that was the plastic ones.
Anonymous says
I like the Oxo Tot Transitions straw cups. There’s a valve in the straw, so they only leak after my toddler has chewed the straw enough to compromise the valve, and even then it’s not a lot at a time. We buy replacement straws every so often. If your kid is past the chewing stage that wouldn’t be an issue.
Anonymous says
We just…didn’t. Once they were out of cribs, they could access a kid cup in the bathroom. No way did I want to deal with late night bathroom trips any more than I already did. If they were thirsty, they had to get up and get water themselves. One kid gets up, the other never does (even though in the beginning they’d both claim to be so thirsty).
But the small Contigo with the button recommended yesterday don’t leak laying down. If kids are rough with them they’ll eventually leak, but we get a long time out of them for normal wear to school and at home.
Anonymous says
we use a contingo straw cup that has a valve so you really have to suck. (if you use the thermos one and the kiddo doesn’t close it spills)
If these end up on their side water comes out (slowly) the tiny whole where air comes in, but that is a lot slower than out the straw if lid not closed.
Anonymous says
We used a Nalgene grip and gulp or Contigo straw bottle. The Nalgene is much easier to clean. Both pretty good upside down. My 8 year old still keeps a water bottle in bed. Strangely, he has never had to pee in the middle of the night since he night trained (at 4). He was terrible at all other aspects of potty training.
Postpartum problem says
Gross question. Sorry in advance. I’m nearly 6 months postpartum. Stopped bleeding long ago, but have been having small clumps of clear discharge in the toilet and almost egg white consistency but yellower when I wipe. I have not gotten my first postpartum period yet. It’s like this basically every day. Pre-baby, I’d really only have egg white around my fertile window.
Is this normal? Everything I googled talks about bleeding in terms of discharge postpartum. Don’t know if I need to call my ob if it could be an infection. I don’t have any itching, burning, or odor.
Anonymous says
I did not experience this, but no idea whether it’s common.
Anonymous says
You could just have more discharge now? Do you have to wear a panty liner every day? I’d ask the OB. I think I tend to just have more discharge than others (like I always wear a pantyliner around ovulation), but that’s just me.
Anonymous says
TMI but i definitely have more discharge than pre pregancy. i have to wear pantyliners at least a week of the month and i recall some weird months in there while i was still nursing.
My doctor (not an OB) wasn’t concerned as long as there was no odor / itching etc and the discharge was clear / white / very pale yellow. over time it got less.
Anonymous says
I have way more discharge post-pregnancy than I did before (my child is 3). My OB said it’s normal. I have to wear a pantyliner pretty much all the time or I soak underwear. On the plus side, my actual periods are way lighter and shorter than they were before.
Realist says
My guess is this just normal discharge that looks abnormal to you and things have maybe changed since your hormones are changed/imbalanced and won’t be back to normal/balanced for awhile (which is totally normal after pregnancy). You could definitely call your OB and see what they say just in case it sparks something with your med history or if they want you to get any tests just in case. If it is bothering you, I would look at some of the natural wellness suggestions to balance postpartum hormones and see if anything speaks to you and is realistic. (For example, reducing stress always helps with hormone balance but good luck with that as a new mom.) But there are lots of things you could experiment with, including focusing on a healthy diet, etc and see if that helps. Basically, my concern would be whether you are feeling like this is a sign you need to focus on your health overall (something seems “off”), if so, then you need to listen to yourself and address things with your OB and maybe make some changes to care of yourself/your health. Or this could just be something that is nbd and can be noted at your next doctor’s appointment and you aren’t feeling the need to dig into it. Not a doctor, just speaking from having had to address health issues recently and finding that both doctors and natural wellness are helpful. In my experience, you know things are off for you way before the tests will show something wrong, but at that point the doctors can be helpful.
Anon says
I think I went through that too – my hormones were definitely wonky for a while . Also maybe TMI but sometimes it turns yellow from vitamins – anything with B vitamins (including prenatals) might be doing it.
anon says
A friend is having her first baby in a few weeks and since I think she’s more than set on baby things, I want to put together something for her to cope with postpartum. We’re both pregnant and kind of rookies at this, so I think she’s not super prepared for what she is going to need herself. Of course I know she may end up with a c-section last minute, but there are several of us pregnant so she can just pass on anything she doesn’t need. What did you find helpful for yourself in the postpartum weeks? My research so far has told me a Frida peri bottle, ice packs, Tucks, dermoplast spray, witch hazel, aloe and lots of snacks you can eat with one hand.
Thank you for any recommendations!
AnonATL says
I had a third degree tear and used dermoplast and tucks for the first couple of weeks on and off. I probably only used my peri bottle the first week. The ice packs were super uncomfortable for me. Just bulky and awkward. I only used one for the ride home for the hospital. the hospital will likely give you and her all this stuff. Mine did, but I am of the opinion it’s better to be overprepared.
I also bought the nice n*pple cream and used almost none of it. I know I was lucky, but I really had no cracking or bleeding after the first week.
Freezer meals/takeout were appreciated.
I thoroughly enjoyed having a bottle of my favorite wine waiting the night we got home from the hospital.
A cardigan similar to the featured today are nice too if your friend isn’t a robe person.
A big box of cliff bars or healthy snacks for trying to shovel food in your mouth in between things. My kid loved to sleep being held as a newborn and their wake windows are so short at the beginning! It’s really hard to feed baby, yourself, shower or use the bathroom all in the 30 minutes before they need to sleep again.
Anon says
Cut up veggies! I agree with all of those things that you mentioned but the hospital sends you home with a good supply of it so no need to provide more
SC says
The hospital sent me home with nothing, but I bought my own items for post-partum care.
A friend of mine who had a baby 3 months before me sent me a breastfeeding care package–some oat cookies, nipple butter, gel packs, breast pads. Of course, make sure you have confirmation that she’s planning to nurse.
One-handed snacks for the win! Oat cookies are great. My favorite snack was trail mix–granola, almonds, dark chocolate chips, and dried cherries. Cut up fruit and veggies are also great. I also recommend stuff for small sandwiches–a family member brought over Hawaiian rolls, pork tenderloin, and a mustard/mayo combination, and that was great. Any easy combo you think she’d like works.
Katy says
Be prepared to sit down somewhere and then by stuck for awhile. A giant cup of water with a straw (like a Starbucks venti cup… .but the cheaper one i got at the drugstore leaked way less than my Starbucks cup).
For me i “binged” trashy literature as i didn’t want to watch Netflix all the time. I mostly read on phone so i could do it one handed using the kindle app or libby app for library books. (likely it will be a few weeks before you can feed one handed). For me nothing that requires recalling Tudor genealogy for example… Liane Moriaty, Crazy Rich Asians etc. (YMMV). Highly recommend a man named ove.
So hard with Covid but i am sure she would appreciate some groundwork on any kind of local mom group or class that you can find (i assume it will be virtual).
Congratulations on your upcoming arrival.
Anonymous says
As a counterpoint, I actually found that this was a great time for books that require a bit more concentration. I suspect I have a touch of ADHD, but I’m rarely able to sit down and focus for long periods of time the way I did when I had a newborn. All those hours nursing were the perfect opportunity to really focus guilt-free on a book. I read and loved A Gentleman in Moscow during my daughter’s first two weeks. It was very engaging (for me), but very long and definitely required more focus on plot details than the typical beach read like Liane Moriarity.
Anonymous says
YMMV but my hospital gave me all that except the snacks and I really only needed it for about a week (and I had a third degree tear). I also don’t really think of that stuff as something that’s passed between friends – most women I know have bought all their own personal care items if they needed anything the hospital doesn’t provide. If you’re sure you don’t want to do anything baby-related, I would give her food, gift card for food delivery or cleaning service, or something cute to wear on maternity leave like a splurge-y robe or cardigan.
Anon says
+1 to this sentiment. OP, you are obviously being very thoughtful. But I don’t think I actually used any of the things listed in the original post (I had to google a couple to see what they even were) – I also had an emergency c and then a planned c though, so YMMV. But regardless I would have found stuff like that a little odd to get from a friend (unless it was a friend who had had like a bunch of kids and was wise in these ways and like “trust me. you need this and you won’t get it otherwise”). I also wouldn’t give stuff with the indication implied or otherwise that they can just pass on whatever is not used. Please don’t give me a mental errand.
Instead I would focus on: fuzzy, warm socks are pretty universal and wear out enough over time where new ones are often welcome. My friend brought me a bunch of cut up strawberries and other fruit and it was actually a life long lesson to me that I am much more likely to eat strawberries if they are cut up ahead of time : ) Agreed having bottles of water around anywhere you are likely to nurse is a must so anything that could help with that as suggested.
(For me personally I find the types of nursing tanks, cardigans, and pajamas I like really personal and find it unlikely someone could successfully pick those things for me, but maybe you know your friend well).
Anonymous says
Heating pad for afterbirth cramps or breastfeeding (looking at you, engorgement). Comfy robe or jammies. I liked things that made me feel human and less…gross? So good smelling lotion, lip balm, nice skin products, etc..I took good skin samples to the hospital and put on makeup the morning after having baby.
DLC says
I feel like a lot of my favorite things were related to making nursing and longing around the house more comfortable: Cozy robe, sweater or hoodie (someone recommended the Latched Mama nursing hoodie here and I love it!), comfy nursing tanks. Nursing gel pads. Nipple balm.
Phone charger with and extra long cord. Netflix. Amazon gift cards for 2am panic buying of things to make life better. Podcast, audio books, real books. Lip balm. Water cup with straw.
anon says
a nice hand and/or foot cream. a set of postpartum friendly pajamas (Lake Pajamas has really nice ones). cozy socks (Uggs are great).
Anon says
Freezer meals would be nice, also bottles of water that you can leave around the house if nursing. I stocked up on postpartum supplies but didn’t end up using most of it.
Anonymous says
I know Covid might impact this, but if they’ll have any family support I’m not sure food is the best choice. Barring a couple trips to gastronomic capitals, I’ve never eaten as well as I did in the first two weeks postpartum because my mom was living with us and feeding me delicious food around the clock. I would go with comfy lounge clothes or something entertainment related like books or a subscription to a new streaming service. Personally I love to give new moms giftcards to a local bookstore because mom can choose to shop for herself or baby or some combination thereof. You should be able to find a local bookstore that offers online shopping and delivery.
Dropping 2nd nap says
When your baby dropped their second nap, how long did you give to be sure that it wasn’t just a sleep blip but the real deal? Our baby is 13 months, which seems early for dropping the nap, but he’s taking longer and longer to fall asleep for his first one and often won’t fall asleep at all during the second. This has been going on for about 1 1/2 weeks. Should we just go for it and drop the second nap cold turkey? Do we move the first nap back in increments, or just do it?
Pogo says
Mine was about 14-15 months, and I think prior to that the blips were like one day where we did something like going to the beach which clearly messed w/ the schedule. Like most things I’m pretty sure I just followed daycare’s lead on this….
Anonymous says
13 months isn’t that early, I think the normal range is 12-18 months so it’s on the early side but nothing out of the norm. I would probably just try dropping it cold turkey. My concern with pushing the nap back would be interference with night time sleep, but I’ve always been someone who values lots of night sleep and early bedtime way more than naps. If you’re willing to do a later bedtime you could probably keep two naps for longer.
Anon says
That’s a pretty common age to drop to one nap, I think we switch around 12 months. I would cold turkey move the nap to after lunch so the baby goes down around noon.
Anonymous says
Depends on what your family’s priorities are. I think a lot of kids have some flexibility in when they make that change. We made it for both of my kids- one at 17 months because switching to a daycare that had one nap, and the other at 12 months for the same reason. Older one probably could’ve done it earlier if our family had needed that; but was happy with two naps. I would say if it works for you to keep up up trying for two naps for a whiles if it’s harder to deal with the uncertainty of the timing then go ahead and switch. For our own schedules honestly we preferred two naps so we weren’t trying to rush home from activities on the weekend to nap, but hey it’s covid times so maybe that’s less of an issue! Or maybe you have a kid who will nap on the go (neither of mine EVER took a stroller or car nap ).
Anonymous says
Doesn’t two naps require more rushing home from activities than one nap? We basically didn’t leave the house on weekends until our daughter was down to one nap because when she was still napping twice a day it felt like it was ALWAYS nap time or time to be getting ready for a nap. We switched her to one nap for our convenience on a trip to Europe and never really went back.
Anonymous says
With two naps we could leave at 10:30 am and get back at like 2:30-/3 – was easier for us than trying to leave at 8:00 for an outing and be back by lunch.
Anonymous says
I don’t think I waited, and 13 months is only slightly early to drop to one nap. My oldest and middle both dropped to one nap at 14 months, although my third was somewhat later. I feel like life is so much easier on one nap, although that is probably less relevant now. My kids took a longer nap and/or went to bed earlier when dropping to one nap. At first the one nap would be pretty early, like 11, but I gradually moved it later.
Anonymous says
I’ve heard 2 weeks to make sure it’s not a blip. This absolutely sounds like he’s ready. I think I went pretty cold Turkey and just did it. My toddlers nap times were 9-10am and then 1-3pm. We moved him to one nap at 12pm. Lunch is at 11am. He usually naps 12-2pm. It wasn’t as painful as I anticipated.
Montessori? says
I might repost tomorrow, but can someone give me a cliff notes of Montessori schools vs. the rest of the world? We’re looking at preschools for my DD who will be 3 in April. Probably only doing 2-3 mornings/week. There is a Montessori in town but 6 other preschools, too. All – literally ALL – of my friends in other towns are going to their respective Montessori’s for preschool whereas it’s not one of the four that I’m focused on. Should it be? What am I missing?
FWIW I recognize that it’s “just preschool” and you can’t really go wrong. I’m thinking more existentially about Montessori vs others. I know they’re franchises so they’re likely to vary from one school to the other (we did the national franchise daycare thing for 18 months, so we’re familiar with the general dynamic). Is it kind of like daycare – if it’s a fit, great, if not, find something else? Or is it actually lightyears better than others?
Anon says
I am very anti-montessori for my particular kid. We wanted a play based preschool focused on social settings and group behavior, and we found a church based one we LOVE based on recommendations from friends whose kids (and parents) are similar in temperament to us. In my experience, particularly in our area, the montessori schools give the kids a lot of independence about choosing what to do, and my kid is already very independent – she needs to learn how to do the same things all the other kids are doing in a group, and how to play with the other kids in a structured setting rather than doing her own thing. Kiddo is super stubborn and doesn’t need encouragement in the independence realm (e.g., if a 6 year old can do it for herself, my 3 year old demands to do it for herself whether or not she is capable). Our montessori schools also tend to promote more rigorous academics (which I don’t think necessarily fits with what I know of their philosophy), and I have a personal view that my very bright daughter will have lots of years of rigorous academics and preschool is just for play. Sure our preschool does some letter recognition and fine motor skill building, but mostly it’s gross motor skills, playing with other kids and doing crafts. My child loved it so much she literally ran inside each day (preCOVID – been closed to in person since then). If I had a different kid, I might feel differently.
Anonymous says
I agree that it depends on the kid and the program. We decided against Montessori preschool for similar reasons. For elementary school, we were actually worried that Montessori would be less academically rigorous than traditional school based on others’ experiences. We were also opposed to the multi-age classes where older children are put in a teaching role. Our child does not like being grouped with younger children.
OP says
Thank you very much for your thoughtful response. We might have the same child. My mom, who raised three Ivy-league children, swears my daughter is smart beyond her years, which I view as a nice compliment and nothing more, but speaks to her… maturity? development? She’s incredibly independent for not even three years old, goes toe to toe with her older cousins. Frankly, I’d sleep better if the kid had more fear. I think needs more structure, not less. What you’re describing is how I fundamentally understood Montessori so I had looked past them for our own preschooling, but with 4/4 friends all signed up in their respective areas I was like…. what am I missing?!
Anonymous says
It’s hard to buck the trend when it’s a status symbol.
Anonymous says
+1 to this description and some of my reasons for not doing it. Incrementally my MIL who taught grade 2 for about 40 years was “against” it. (i don’t think she would have been fussed at three but not for kindergarten / grade 1). I also found the one that we did look at based purely on insanely good logistics – literally in my office tower – was a little nutso about their programming. (i posted about it at the time and the consensus her was that particular location was not the norm.)
Ultimately we did go with a more rigorous academic program in that it is a French language program, which is not a language we speak at home. Our bright, independent kiddo is way happier there than he was at his former daycare where he happened to be one of the oldest in his room and was less structure.
A counterpoint to the “its just preschool”, as pointed out to me by a colleague when we were discussing this a year ago is that from ages 3, or whenever the child starts more formal learning, until say grade 1 or 2 they are learning how to learn. While pre-school is often a privilege, setting your kiddo up for a good learning environment for them is really the ONLY point of preschool, other than of course the childcare. Learning how to make friends etc. is part of that. I definitely envisioned my LO sitting in the corner by himself building lego at the exclusion of all else in Montessori.
Anonymous says
There’s an element of fit for sure. We never considered Montessori because the best daycares in our college town are run by the university and don’t use the Montessori philosophy. I know there was a thread here recently about Montessori being less academic, but anecdotally the parents I know who have sought out Montessori are extremely focused on academics and want to micromanage their child’s curriculum. Whereas I and most non-Montessori daycare parents I know just want to make sure are kids are having fun, being active and in a safe environment and that’s pretty much it. I think that’s partly because Montessori isn’t the “default” in most places so people who select into it are by definition somewhat more choosy than average. Montessori also seems to demand a level of parental involvement that most schools don’t (and I say that as someone who is pretty involved in my kid’s school – I’ve been on the PTA and volunteered in the classroom in non-covid times).
Another thing is that I have the impression that Montessori is more focused on teaching kids independence and less focused on social skills and encouraging age-appropriate interactions with peers. That is probably perfectly fine for many kids, but my family tends to be very innately independent and need more support with social skills so I doubt Montessori would have been the right fit for my kid. My cousin who went to Montessori had a lot of social struggles in K-12 and beyond. My cousin is an extreme example (I suspect she’s on the Autism spectrum although she never had a formal diagnosis) and I’m in no way suggesting that Montessori turns totally normal people into weirdos lacking social skills, but I think if you are someone who is already kind of struggling in that area, it’s probably not going to give you the support you need. I’ve been impressed by how explicitly my daughter’s daycare teachers teach social and conversational skills, and my daughter has definitely benefited from it.
Mixed age classrooms are big in Montessori but increasingly also in non-Montessori. My daughter’s daycare combines the PK3 and PK4 years in the same classroom.
Anon says
so there are lots of philosophies in the Montessori world that I think are great – teaching kids to be more independent, helpers with different things, less is more in terms of toys/stuff and we looked at a Montessori and I like the ideas of the philosophy, but where we live the facility of the Montessori is a dump, they don’t have a great outdoor play space and they require siblings to be in the same class, even in non-covid times, but i really wanted mine to have some time apart. The one we were looking at was not a franchise of anything else, but its own school.
Anon says
I didn’t like the focus on independent work in Montessori. I can see how it might be a good fit for some kids but I have an only child who was already very independent, confident and comfortable talking to adults and we sent her to daycare primarily so she could learn how to interact and play with other kids her own age. The idea of kids just going to their separate work stations all day was very off-putting to me.
the absorbent mind says
Is it an AMI Montessori school? Otherwise “Montessori” in the name means nothing. We’ve been at three AMI Montessori schools (due to moves) with three very different children and all have thrived. We’re all-in for Montessori in our home and school from birth through upper-el though. I have noticed that the children at our school who experience more conventional patterns at home tend to struggle a bit more in an AMI Montessori environment. Read some of Maria Montessori’s work and see if you resonate with her philosophy about children. Otherwise let yourself off the hook if the Montessori in your town didn’t stand out to you.
The other thing is that AMI Montessori schools will not permit 2 or 3 mornings a week – all Children’s Houses are supposed to be 5 mornings (although for my 3 year olds, we were pretty flexible with our interpretation of what was worth staying home for, so with teacher work days, vacations, holidays etc. they ended up going an average of 4 mornings/week, gradually transitioning to five full days by the time they were 5).
Anonymous says
“who experience more conventional patterns at home”? LOL what? This makes Montessori sound like a cult.
Anonymous says
like I said, we’re all-in. But if a three year old uses plastic dishes and doesn’t get themselves dressed at home, then yes, it’s a bigger switch to school where they’d use glass dishes to prepare and serve the class a snack and would be entirely responsible for their own shoes and jackets. I see it mostly in the young threes starting in primary – by four kids from all backgrounds can transition more easily between different home and school environments.
Anonymous says
Our non-Montessori day care had the kids cleaning up after lunch and washing their hands at age 1, putting coats on at 2, etc. The idea that only Montessori teaches independence is a fallacy.
Anon says
Yep, I haven’t noticed any meaningful difference between Montessori and non-Montessori kids in terms of how independent and helpful they are. Attaining independent skills is a huge part of the curriculum in most 2 and 3 year old daycare/preschool classrooms. The only real difference I’ve noticed between the two groups is that the Montessori parents are obsessed with the philosophy and talk about it all the time.
Anonymous says
Montessori basically is a cult, IMO. I think it’s great to foster independence and expect kids to help with chores (and my non-Montessori daycare does a great job of that) but Montessori takes it waaaaay too far.
Anon says
I think it’s really unfair to call Montessori a cult. Because Waldorf really is a cult. (Children can only paint with the color blue until they master blue and can move on to adding yellow, but not making green?!? Children should wear natural fibers because of the vibrations?!?)
Montessori is different. And it’s incredibly changed the way day cares work in the US, so much so that many things that are “special” about it are done basically everywhere.
But as an adult I can see how many of my worst habits would are the sort of thing that would have been short-circuited by some things that really good Montessori elementary and secondary schools do.
Anonymous says
Maybe cult is too harsh. I don’t think the Maria Montessori philosophy is crazy and it has a lot of appealing aspects. It wasn’t right for our family for a variety of reasons, but I can see why someone else would choose a Montessori school. But the families that follow Montessori seem a little cult-like in their devotion to it, at least as an outsider. The way they worship the philosophy, practice it 24/7 and try to recruit others just makes me a little uncomfortable, even if the basic philosophy itself is fine.
OP says
It doesn’t appear we’re AMI Montessori (nor are any of my friends interestingly…). So what’s that mean? Just another preschool with a franchised name?
absorbent mind says
Not even a “franchised” name. Anyone can call themselves “Montessori,” no qualifications at all. Some people use “Montessori” to describe any private preschool with some wooden toys. Non-AMI schools may have various levels of adherence to Montessori philosophy, but I think what’s the point if you’re not doing full-on AMI, since, as many others have pointed out, you can get lots of the benefits of a Montessori school at any good preschool.
OP says
Actually, it’s on the path to being AMI. Either way, without question it is not for us. Thanks for the insights.
Anonymous says
The problem is that lots of things get called Montessori but aren’t. A true Montessori school would have almost no “academics” before age 6 and would have a three hour work cycle.
I’d love a true Montessori school, even for my independent, outdoor-loving kid just for the three hour work cycle.