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In the comments section a few days ago, a reader suggested the Instagram account Feeding Littles to address a question about feeding. I watched all of the highlighted videos on the page regarding toddler feeding. One quick tip I have started implementing with my son is food play — having your child engage with their food in other ways than just the end goal of eating. So far, it worked a few times, and I’ve found it was helpful for me to take a step back and not rush my son to eat, and give him some undivided attention while he’s in the high chair. These are the utensils that one of the owners of the account, Megan, is using with her toddler, and I know my son would go crazy for them. They are $19.95 at Amazon for a set of 3 and are eligible for Prime and free returns. Construction Utensils
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anon says
Ugh. My NIPT results were … inconclusive. Not high risk, but also not low risk. And of course we are leaving the country tomorrow and the doctor has not called yet to talk me through this. I just want to scream into the void instead of billing my hours.
AwayEmily says
I’m sorry; not knowing is the absolute worst. any way you can get outside for a quick walk to clear your head?
Anon says
Doesn’t that just mean they couldn’t get enough fetal DNA? I think you have no more information than you did before you did the test, so I’d try not to worry too much.
anon says
No, that’s a different result. This was “borderline,” which apparently means statistically so close to the line that they won’t categorize you as low or high risk.
Found out the sex though, so at least there’s that.
Anonymous says
I’m not sure if it’s helpful – but the company we used had genetic counselors available by phone to answer questions. One of my friends had a “high risk” result which meant a 1/750 chance. When she found that out she felt much better.
Anonymous says
Those are adorable. They’d make a great first birthday gift.
rosie says
Yes, my daughter received these as a gift & is a pretty big fan. Sometimes pulling them out are just what we need to make her willing to take a play break for a meal.
HSAL says
They’re really cute and I got them for my nephew several years ago – there’s a plate they go with that makes it even more fun to push around. Now that I have children, though, any plates/cups/utensils that don’t stack together or take up too much space never get used. I love all the cutesy sets but they’re so hard to store!
anon for this says
I just need to put out there that my parents are lovely and generous people, and they visit us frequently to see their grandkid. Their attitude in terms of us visiting them/coming to events/vacations/etc. is “ask for everything.” However, they don’t react well when we say we can do x thing but not y thing. They also second guess our reasons for not traveling, so we avoid giving reasons where we can. But as an example, we were at my parents house for a holiday last year, and my dad made a comment criticizing our absence the prior year when I was 36w pregnant (going so far as to question whether I delivered past 40w…um, yes, it’s very common…as if I were lying about how far along in the pregnancy I was at that point).
I know I need to just do what works for us and not let the attitudes bother me, but it’s sad to me to basically have to write off what they think (plus it makes me crabby to be around them when they’re pouting over this). And I end up doubting whether I am the reasonable one because I’m just so steeped in it sometimes.
Not sure what I’m looking for, but advice, affirmations, commiseration welcomed.
anon says
I’m jealous. I’m annoyed with my in-laws because they live a 2.5 hour direct flight away from an easy airport and we will always buy their tickets to visit. They haven’t come in a year and a half and are coming down for one night this weekend to help out (I’m very pregnant – my husband arranged it because he is traveling this weekend). Spoke with them yesterday about logistics and they kept asking when DD would be old enough to fly alone to see them. She’s barely 4 and not an adventurous kid. There is no world in which that is actually “easier.” I feel bad for my husband because they are all talk but very little action. They’re also pretty young and active!
I guess this comment is to say that I know very very few people who are actually happy with the way grandparent interactions end up structured! But as long as my kids are excited, I’ll pretend!
anon for this says
Yeah, our relationship with my husband’s family is super complicated for different reasons, and we don’t see them nearly as often. That’s part of the reason why fostering a good relationship with my parents is important (since her other grandparents are not that now, maybe not ever)–but it may make be oversensitive to this bumpiness.
Aly says
I try to remind myself that the more people who love my kids, the better. I remember special moments from my childhood with grandparents, blissfully oblivious to any conflict that between my parents and grandparents – and I’m sure there was some! Looking back now, my grandparents were not the easiest people to deal with. However, this is not to say that I can actually stay so zen-like in the moment. My in-laws expect my 2 year old to be able to hold long, engaged conversations over FaceTime, as opposed to demanding to see their fluffy cat every minute. Or my parents will ignore nap time and then I get to deal with the consequences. But still.
Anon. says
I think that this is a very relationship-specific dynamic. The thing that has worked best with MY mom has been to be very direct. “Mom, we try to come to as much stuff as makes sense for our family but we can’t always be there. It really hurts and makes me feel guilty when you question my motives/push back etc. And that tends to make me even more resistant to coming. Please stop.” Usually she’s not actually intending the guilt-trip and this wakes her up to what she’s doing.
Redux says
I had a similar conversation with my mom. I try to remind myself that her guilt-trips over us not visiting more frequently or for longer are really her saying, “I love you.” But I needed to ask her to please frame it that way instead. She was pretty receptive, though I still do have to course correct sometimes.
anon for this says
This is interesting, thanks. I am a little scared the response would be “you should feel guilty,” but since I already think that’s their attitude, not sure if any harm could come from trying.
Anon says
Anon.’s script is good. I think shutting this kind of talk down will promote a healthier relationship in the long run and teach your children about healthy relationships. I thought all sorts of not good interactions were normal as a kid because of how I saw family interact. I wish I’d seen more healthier relationships as a kid.
anon for this says
Anon@1:24, I hear you!
Anonymous says
When do you introduce utensils? A lot of people seem to say it should be around a year but my 12 month doesn’t seem ready for them.
Anonymous says
We pretty much always gave kiddo a spoon from about 12 months on. She’d play with it, we’d feed her with it, she’d attempt to do something coordinated with it. She didn’t master it for a long time, but it seemed good to introduce her to it. Pudding can be a fun treat for some spoon lessons. Yogurt is good too. They stick a little more to the spoon. I truly can’t remember when we introduced a fork. Probably later than most, TBH. Most of kiddo’s utensil mastery came from school.
Anon says
We introduced around 11 months, mostly because she kept trying to steal our utensils, but it was mostly a fun new play toy for meals. She didn’t get adept with it until around 14-15 months.
Anon says
First kid still barely likes to use utensils at 3.5 and second kid insisted on feeding himself with a spoon at 9 months. Give her utensils now and encourage use, but this is like every other area of child development and kids get the hang of it at different times.
Pigpen's Mama says
Starting a Mom Brag Thread for Friday!
My 4 year old made her own breakfast this morning (waffles in the pop-up toaster) while I tried to drag myself out of bed. She was so proud of herself!
Leatty says
I like this idea!
My 20 month old likes to clean up after herself. If she spills milk/water, she will fuss until we give her a paper towel. Then, she wipes it all up (and sometimes cleans other spots she finds), then throws the paper towel away all by herself.
anon says
My 9-year-old is 300 pages into The Order of the Phoenix. I’m super proud of him. A year ago, he wasn’t very interested in reading independently even though he had the ability. But he’s gotten so into the HP series, and it’s really fun to watch.
My 4-year-old did a better job of waking up her big brother this morning than I have all week, haha. She’s also gotten really good at putting on all her winter gear by herself (hat, coat, gloves, snow pants, boots). Thank you, daycare, for fostering this independence!
Anonymous says
I’m so excited for the mystical age 4 and all the independence that comes with it!
My 12 month old is finally starting to understand the concept of putting things back in containers (after months spent pulling everything out) and last night she helped me clean up her toys before bed.
Anon says
My 18 month old this week has started habitually putting her dirty diapers in the diaper dekor after I change her in the morning and at night. She also occasionally, and unsolicited, takes her (wet) diaper off and puts it in the diaper pail downstairs (note that if it’s dry, she’ll just take it off and set it next to her and continue playing, so, baby steps!). She also independently decided to take her unwanted pears across the kitchen and dump them in the trash can before I was even done preparing the rest of her breakfast, so not all independence is helpful!
EB0220 says
Oh my gosh, really? My 4 year old won’t do this! (She is helpful in other ways but her diaper blind spot drives me crazy!)
My girls both made their peanut butter toast this morning without being asked while I took the dog out. Hooray!
Anonymous says
Love this! I have two things. Kiddo is 3 years, 4 months.
1) On Monday night, Kiddo and I were eating dinner alone. After we talked about school for a while, she asked, “How was your day, Mommy?”. It was so delightful and sweet.
2) Last night, Kiddo finally pooped in the toilet after nearly 5 months of being pee trained.
mascot says
M y spirited 8 year old has shown sudden self awareness/ownership surrounding his behavior (yes, I had a hard time concentrating at school bc xyz) and has accepted consequences without immediately beginning to argue which requires a decent amount of self- control. To see these sudden progressions has been very encouraging.
Anonymous says
My 5 year old can make herself her desired breakfast (cereal & milk- milk has been the tricky part) and now gets my 2.5 y/os preferred breakfast (yogurt) too.
My 8 month old just started crawling, feeds herself from a pouch and just started sleeping through the night.
And the big one….
This week my 2.5 y/o stopped wearing a diaper at night! And woke up to pee and went back to sleep!
Lana Del Raygun says
My 4mo is getting so vocal! She coos and gurgles and she does this super high-pitched squeak that makes my heart explode. :)
Govtattymom says
My 2.5 year old slept in a toddler bed for the first time last weekend. I was able to snuggle in the bed with her (which I obviously couldn’t do in the crib). After we got up and started our day, she turned to me and said, “Mommy, thanks for cuddling me this morning!” So cute, right?
octagon says
my kid asked to get out of the pool at swimming lessons to go to the bathroom. I had told him not to pee in the pool, and I was so so glad that lesson took!
aelle says
Last night after dinner and toothbrushing, my 19mo decided to skip the rest of her bedtime routine. She just announced she was sleepy, said good night to each family member (dog included), walked to her room, put herself to bed and fell asleep. My husband normally lies with her until she sleeps so this is huge!
Anonymous says
Newly minted 4 year old is hysterical and is hyper focused on language— has started doing all different accents for his stuffed animals,making multi-lingual jokes with the little bits of other languages he knows, making up pretend foreign languages that actually sound like the real thing, etc. he’s a mini-me when it comes to verbal abilities and I love it!
Proud mama says
My 18 month old has started helping empty the dishwasher! I hand her one of her plates, cups, forks, etc. one at a time and she walks over and puts them on the shelf where they go. It’s actually helpful and she is so proud after each accomplishment!
Adopting says
Someone on the main page recommended Eat, Sleep, Poop and Hungry Monkey for prepare for parenting books. We are in the process of adopting and while we have read lots of books about adoption, we haven’t started our how to parent education yet. We may not have a lot of notice when we get matched. We have a big vacation coming up with lots of time to read so send me all of your book recommendations! Thanks!
Anonymous says
Do you have any idea what age range you’ll be matched with? I haven’t heard of either of those books, but the later looks like it’s about making kids adventurous eaters, so I don’t think it would have much relevance if you’re adopting a baby or toddler. I found Heading Home with Your Newborn to be pretty useful for infant care. Baby 411 and Toddler 411 are good general references. You don’t read them cover to cover, but use them like encyclopedias (if you’re old enough to know what those are ;)
I haaaate the Harvey Karp books (Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block) even though they’re recommended often. You can g00gle Harvey Karp 5 S’s and get all you need to know out of the former book in a page or two.
Adopting says
Infant.
Anon says
I may be an odd one out, but I haven’t found any of the parenting books worth my time to read – pretty much everything you need to know is on the internet and in shorter “bites” than a book, which at least for me are more digestible. A lot of sites also send you weekly or monthly updates for babies and toddlers, which I found helpful as they usually address the things we are facing at the time we are facing them. I nearly burned Harkey Karp’s Happiest Baby book when my MIL gave it to me and we were going through colic (which I can tell you from personal experience that none of his 5S’s do a thing for colic). I fell asleep skimming the What to Expect in the First Year. Suffice to say, if reading makes you feel more comfortable, by all means do it, but don’t feel like you “have” to do it. I tend to take the more relaxed “we’ll figure it out” approach. Inevitably, when a question comes up I 1) call my mother, 2) google to confirm my mother isn’t crazy or outdated – babycenter is good and usually has an article on point, also a fan of mayoclinic, 3) check my FB mom’s group, 4) ask my husband (the second reasonable adult perspective) and if it’s at all medical 5) call the pediatrician.
Anon says
And I will also say that you should take the time to read fun books that you enjoy on this vacation – it’s hard to find time to do that once you have a young kid! I think I’ve read maybe 3 books in the last 2 years, and I used to read 3-5 a month.
Anonymous says
I actually read a lot post-kid (every night after she’s in bed, which I didn’t do before) but I agree that OP should make sure this vacation is mostly fun and not all work! There’s lot of time to read parenting books after you’re a parent and a last pre-kid vacation is definitely something to be cherished.
Adopting says
Thanks!
Anonymous says
Heading Home with your Newborn (if you think it may be applicable)
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
Boston Legal Eagle says
My husband and I both liked Heading Home with your Newborn, Happiest Baby on the Block and Baby 411. I also liked Bringing up Bebe’s general philosophy. If there’s any way you can take an infant care class at a hospital, I’d recommend that to get some hands on experience as well.
Mama Llama says
+1 to the class at the hospital. This was key for my husband who had never held a baby prior to becoming a father.
Anon says
Same for my husband.
Anonymous says
I’m like your husband, I had never held a baby prior to becoming a mother, and I didn’t feel like the classes were that useful. Learning how to change a diaper was useful, but a nurse will show you that in the hospital, and within a couple of days you will have changed countless diapers and be a pro at it. We spent a long time on swaddling techniques, which was a waste (we bought velcro swaddles, ain’t nobody got time for blanket swaddling) and soothing and burping techniques that we never used. So YMMV, but just one data point that they weren’t super helpful for this clueless new mom. It might also be a bit weird as an adoptive parent. At mine all the women were visibly pregnant and there were a lot of forced icebreakers about due dates and expected genders.
Adopting says
Yeah, I’ve mostly mourned our infertility but I don’t think I could handle one of these hospital classes. Not because I want “our” baby but because nothing is certain with an adopted baby until after the revocation period. It might be a little easier if we were matched but waiting for a match and sitting with a group of very pregnant couples would be hard. You give me a great idea though! We should ask our agency to host a class for adopting parents on infant 101. We had to do an adoption class already but that was on the unique adoption issues, not parenting info.
rosie says
Some doulas offer newborn classes one-on-one or small group. I wonder if you could find a doula in your area with a particular interest/expertise in the adoption process and have an in-home class if that seemed helpful.
Lana Del Raygun says
There’s a long gap between “here’s a baby, gotta change his/her diaper” and the kind of ~*~parenting~*~ you need to read a book about. I would get a couple of books on infant sleep if you really want to read something, but you’re probably fine just googling things as they come up.
Also (and this may be partly a function of my personality) but a lot of parenting books make me feel like I have to choose/develop a parenting philosophy and a holistic approach to discipline and a laundry list of nutritional principles and what have you, which is a lot of useless worrying at the baby stage.
Adopting says
LOL. I had to tell our social worker what our parenting philosophy was in our interview and my husband and I just totally made something up and it worked. Positive reinforcement, remove negative stimuli, no corporal punishment. Years of dog training FTW. I’m the poster that years ago said I’m going to write a book, everything I need to know about parenting I learned from my dogs. Waiting until we have the real life experience first.
Anon says
Best place to sell baby stuff? I realize this probably varies by location, but Craigslist? Facebook? Nextdoor?
DLC says
MD suburb of DC- I found FB Marketplace got more responses than craigslist. Though I also tended to price things low because I just wanted it out of my house. Also- you can’t sell a Bumbo on CL, so maybe there are more restrictions there. I found CL or neighborhood listserv was better for higher priced things.
anon says
Ugh, having a total moment of mom insecurity. Kiddo’s elementary school is having a “dress like a book character” day. He ended up borrowing a storebought Halloween costume from a neighbor that matches a book he’s currently reading. I’m feeling crappy because so many school moms are posting pictures of their kids wearing these amazing, creative, hand-crafted costumes … and I’m sorry kids, but I don’t want to! I’m not a creative costume person at all and don’t particularly enjoy crafting (plus I’m cheap, lol), but sometimes I wish I could be *that mom* who is all crafty and awesome!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Stop looking at social media. First of all, you don’t know the whole story and second of all, it’s not making you happy. FWIW my mom never crafted a single costume for me or baked a thing from scratch because that’s just not who she is. She’s still a great mom. Try not to let these false narratives of what moms “should do” get to you.
Ok, off my soapbox :)
EB0220 says
What finally made me feel better about stuff like this was that I’m just not craft. So even if I were a stay at home mom, I wouldn’t be doing this stuff! Now I feel zero guilt.
Anonymous says
One of the reasons I don’t want to be a SAHM is that I can’t do crafts or make homemade costumes. I like having the excuse of being too busy to do it! If I were a SAHM, I’d probably have to at least attempt it.
SC says
+1. I’m not crafty. I don’t visualize well, especially when it comes to 3D objects.
A few years ago, I was on bed rest, and my SIL bought me knitting needles and some yarn (in a really sweet care package with magazines and chocolate). I didn’t knit the entire month I sat in bed doing nothing. If that means anything, it means that I’ll never, ever knit.
DH has been in charge of “helping” Kiddo with the actual assembly of the two daycare projects we’ve had this year. (I’ve done the logistics–gathering supplies and taking/printing/picking up photos.) It’s honestly not because I didn’t have time, but because I’m not crafty and didn’t really care.
I do make homemade cookies most weekends though. And I can make cakes that taste good, but I can’t decorate them because that’s too crafty.
Mama Llama says
“Great for them, not for us.” Repeat ad infinitum.
Anonymous says
Oh man, we had that today too and my daughter is wearing a normal dress from her closet. I would have killed to have a Halloween costume to give her. If it helps, my daughter’s teacher posted a class photo and like 75% were wearing Halloween animal costumes (dragons, lions, etc.), my daughter was in a normal dress, and the rest of the class were in normal clothes and not even holding books, which I’m going to guess mean they or their parents forgot. You are SO ON TOP OF IT!
anon says
Hahaha, that does make me feel better. I sometimes wish this stuff just wouldn’t happen at all. I cannot remember ANY school-sponsored costume events from my childhood, except for Halloween. It’s just silliness and more work for parents.
Anon says
We definitely had “dress like a book character,” “dress like a historical character” etc days at my Midwestern public elementary school in the late 1980s/early 1990s. Almost everyone had a SAHM though. My mom worked but somehow sewed costumes for me for this stuff.
ElisaR says
congrats on remembering to do something! i always forget.
Anon says
I just found out our 14-month old needs bloodwork done. I’m terrified of needles to begin with, and the thought of having to wrestle my active toddler to hold still for a blood draw is giving me massive anxiety. Has anyone been through this before – any tips? I’m bringing my husband along to help, but I’m at a loss on how to make this easier beyond that.
Lana Del Raygun says
I would ask around for a lab that’s particularly good with kids, and let them know up front you find it upsetting and expect your child to wrestle. Maybe you could even leave the room and just let your husband and the nurse (or whoever) handle it.
Anonymous says
This is good advice. When we’ve had blood drawn, we’ve found that there’s usually a baby expert or two in the lab that they send us to. Our lab has all sorts of tools to distract the baby – a light up spinning wand (huge hit), stuffed animals, heat packs to keep the blood flowing, etc. If you don’t think your lab has this stuff, you could consider bringing a new toy with you that will distract baby. Is the lab associated with your ped’s office? If so, they’ll be awesome and well-trained to handle both babies and anxious parents ;)
This is similar to the wand: https://www.amazon.com/Meteor-Storm-Changing-Pattern-Spinner/dp/B009A6PIVG/ref=sr_1_9?keywords=light+up+baby+wand+toy&qid=1551460894&s=gateway&sr=8-9
rosie says
Your husband is the co-parent, not your helper. If you are terrified of needles, let him handle it. If you think that your presence will not be calming to your child because of your own fear, step out of the room. If you think that you might be able to be calming if you don’t have to hold your child down or look at the needle, stay for your child’s comfort.
Walnut says
This. My child had a finger stitched back up and I couldn’t handle it. I left the room while my husband handled the situation.
Anon. says
When my 14 mo-old had a blood draw, we went to the lab at the Children’s Hospital because we knew that they’d have baby experts. They had two people in the room – one to make the draw and the second to do the holding down. I was not responsible for any holding until the snuggling/calming down after. Agreed with the above; if you can’t be the calm soothing parent, bring Dad.
Anonymous says
Not going to lie, seeing my baby have blood drawn is the worst thing I’ve had to so far as a mom, although admittedly I generally have a healthy child and haven’t had to see her go through surgeries or anything like that. I think it’s a good idea to let your husband handle it if you’re anxious. But definitely push for the most experienced team right off the bat. We tried at a generic lab and they couldn’t do it after multiple attempts, so that was just a giant waste. We ended up going to the hospital the next day, where an NICU team did it and even for these experienced nurses, it took them three tries (and over half an hour of our daughter being strapped down on the gurney screaming like she was being tortured) to successfully get the needle in the vein. Drawing blood from an infant or young toddler is incredibly challenging because they have really tiny veins. If we have to do it again, we’ll start at the NICU.
Anon says
I had the option to refuse the bloodwork (it was for allergies and purely a predictive “is she likely to grow out of it” test, which to me she either will or won’t and I don’t need to know that in advance). Before I did that though, I talked to my mom who was a med tech who confirmed that 1) it’s going to be rough (I also share your fear of needles) and 2) to call the lab in advance, confirm they have a baby “expert”, schedule an appointment for the morning with that expert, which is your best hope at having it go more smoothly. From all the moms I know who’ve had to get this done with young toddlers, wrestling is involved, so I agree this is likely something better for your husband to take the lead on (and you can come in for the cuddling).
Needles says
If your husband is better with needles, send him instead.
But to just provide the other view, my son had two blood draws around age 2-3 at a generic lab (not ped) and he wasn’t phased at all. It was super easy. No tears
I hope you’ll be as lucky as me, but just did want to point out (pardon the pun) that it may not be awful.
Anonymous says
Man, this post makes me feel like a bad parent. In my state kids have to get a blood draw for lead testing every year until 3. It sucks. I just snuggle them up/use my arms to pin them down and give hugs/kisses/toys after.
My school age kid has had some for other reasons and we talk about why, how yes it will hurt and I hate them too, and i’d Never do it if there were a better choice. And she cries and howls and holds her arm out anyway and then we get ice cream and I tell everyone we run into how brave she was.
Anonymous says
Yeah, it’s surprising to me that this child has never had a blood draw before. Our ped checks iron at 1 year, and I think that’s fairly standard. But my kiddo also had to have blood draws for jaundice every day for about a week or a little more after birth. So I was broken in right away.
Anonymous says
I think you’re talking about a heel stick or finger prick, which is how lead testing and jaundice testing is normally done. An intravenous blood draw, where they have to get the needle inserted into an arm or wrist vein, is infinitely harder. They can be hard even with adults who have small veins. Even for me as an adult, they normally take 20-30 minutes to complete the process and have to stab me multiple times before they succeed in getting the needle into the vein. And I’m sitting completely still and not screaming.
Anon says
Iron testing is just a heel stick, not a blood draw.
1:41 Anon says
Sorry for my ignorance here, and best of luck to you OP!
Anonymous says
In MA lead testing is a full blood draw with the butterfly needle until age 3. They fill a vial of blood.
Heel sticks and ginger pricks are another story.
Anonymous says
I would insist that someone else do the holding down. But leaving the room has backfired on me more than once–kiddo gets even more anxious if I am gone, even if her dad is there.
So Anon says
Definitely find a place AND tech who is good with little ones. When you arrive that day, confirm that the great person will be handling your kiddo, and if not, reschedule. Ask if you/your husband can sit in the chair with your kiddo on his lap. I know others feel differently, but I would rather be the one to restrain/help hold down than a stranger. Ask if the tourniquet can be placed on top of a t-shirt instead of directly on the skin. My son and I find that to be about the worst part of the process (8 year old who has had regular blood draws for years). Then distract as much as possible: video of your kiddo on his phone, stuffies, anything with lights, etc. And I agree that your kiddo will read how to feel about the situation from you, so if you are anxious, its ok not to be in the room.
M says
VIDEOS. My toddler had to have a blood draw for an allergy test. I pulled up a video and she was so engrossed, she barely noticed. I, on the other hand, nearly fainted.
Lana Del Raygun says
Any recommendations for a bottle warmer that works well with glass bottles? I’ve heard that some of them tend to get the glass very hot before the milk.
AwayEmily says
We had a bottle warmer for our first and then it got moldy, so for our second we would heat a kettle of water, pour it into a pot, and put the bottle in the pot. It turned out to be just as fast. But these weren’t glass bottles so YMMV.
(also, I encourage you to ignore any and all well-meaning comments to the tune of “why use a bottle warmer? just teach your kid to drink it cold like I did!” Some babies just won’t drink cold (or even room temp) milk no matter how much you try)
Lana Del Raygun says
To clarify, you boiled the water all the way? I bet that would work with glass if we let the bottles get too hot and then cool by warming the milk.
AwayEmily says
Yup we boiled the water all the way.
Anonymous says
This.
Anonymous says
The hot water that comes out of our kitchen tap is steaming hot if we let it run for a minute or two. So we just put that in a small bowl and put the bottle in there for 5-10 minutes. My daughter hated really cold milk but was ok with lukewarm/probably not much warmer than room temp, so all we had to do was make sure it wasn’t super cold.
Anonymous says
+1 I found our bottle warmer (Dr Browns) got disgusting from tap water mineral build up even with regular vinegar cleanings. Same with the sterilizer. We threw both of them out when we were done with bottles. With this next baby we’re doing a microwaveable sterilizer or just the medela steam bags.
Anon says
Ugh I’m so over the gender double standard in parenting. I was at lunch with colleagues at a restaurant my husband and I frequent with our 12 month old. The waitress came up to me and started gushing about how my husband was there last week with the baby and how AMAZING with her he was and what an INCREDIBLE dad he is and it was just…ahh. He IS a good dad. But the things she was praising him for (feeding her, soothing her when she fussed) are not what make him a great dad; they are minimal parenting tasks. And she kept saying “I was so impressed he could handle the baby all by himself!” Um, he’s HER FATHER, he should be able to get through a 1 hour lunch in a casual restaurant with her. It’s really not that impressive. I’m probably extra salty about this because my own mom (who worked outside the home her whole life, fwiw) definitely applies the double standard and acts like my husband is a saint for doing really minimal tasks. But ugh, I’m just over it! In the history of the entire universe do you think anyone has ever praised a mom this way for attending to a fussy child? I doubt it.
rosie says
Seriously. How many times do you think my husband has been asked who takes care of our kid while he works all day? I’m guessing 0.
Anon says
My husband is a SAHD and remarked to me just the other day “everyone just assumes that I work, weird,” and I was like welcome to being a dude. Everyone always assumes that I’m the one who manages childcare because I “choose” to work.
anon says
Yep, the double standard completely sucks. In the eyes of my husband’s parents and extended family, DH is a superhero because he parents and I’m the slacker mom because I left him parent. (huge eye rolls)
Anonymous says
Sometimes I feel like all the grandparents are intrigued by the novelty that DH and I tend to be equal co-parents. Not in a judging way, but in a “wow, what a concept?” kind of way.
anon says
Even my mom — who, bless her, did 90% of the parenting — falls into this trap without realizing what she’s saying.
“Oh, Sister can do her Time Consuming Hobby because Husband is so helpful.”
“Oh, my Daughters are able to work because their husbands help.”
IT’S NOT HELPING, MA. It’s called being an equal partner! Honestly, it’s so irritating.
Lana Del Raygun says
My FIL is legitimately a slacker (no one but my SIL changed a single diaper before their baby was THREE MONTHS OLD) and she’s weirdly relaxed about it. Like “Haha, Joe is so helpless” and “I can’t leave Susie with Joe because he doesn’t know how to feed her” and she seems to think it’s endearing????? I don’t understand that at all.
SC says
I agree. My husband is a great dad who does 70% of the childcare in our family. Everyone gushes about how amazing he is, but nobody ever seems to tell me that I’m a great provider or a great mom.
The best advice I have is to encourage your husband to use it to your family’s advantage. People are so much nicer to my husband that he’s the one who asks for any kid-related accommodation–the last booster seat, the special grocery store cart, cutting in line for the bathroom (because EVERY potty time is an emergency right now). Not only does he get what he asks for, but he gets appreciative, “Aren’t you a great dad?” comments instead of eyerolls and hostility.
Anon says
I like that positive spin on it!
FVNC says
My husband, god bless him, frequently travels with the kids (without me) to see his family. He has remarked how people just gush over a dad traveling alone with his two kids, and it has really opened his eyes to the double standard in parenting. Once, an airline even gave him a hotel and meal voucher after a weather-related cancellation (this was done with a wink, wink, nod, nod). Zero percent chance a mom traveling alone with her two kids would not have gotten the same accommodation. I was happy for him and our kids, but good grief.
Anonymous says
The other day my husband took my daughter out to lunch, and some ladies in a fast casual restaurant cooed “awww, daddy daycare! Are you babysitting today? It’s so sweet to see a dad out with his little girl!” at him while he waited for my 4 yo to use the bathroom. He was all huffy that they called it babysitting when he’s the dad. I pointed out that moms are more likely to get sideye because kid is making too much noise, so at least people have a positive reaction…
Anon says
Ugh I hear you. Any time DH takes our daughter anywhere people gush over him and go out of their way to lend him a hand. It’s ridiculous.
The craziest part for me is most people know I have the more demanding and significantly higher paying job and that we plan for him to be a SAHD eventually and I still get a billion questions of “who’s watching the baby” “uh her father” and he still gets questions about whether I’m going to quit my job to stay home.
Lana Del Raygun says
Ewww this drives me up the wall.
Anon says
I know my nineteen-month old is not ready for potty training – only 6 words, not a lot of regularity, no clear and obvious signs, etc. But if I can’t keep a diaper on her I am going to lose my mind. Last night she took it off without taking her zip up footed sleeper off! Today she managed to get it off (2 piece pj fail because mama didn’t think) and peed all over the rug (and a few wine bottles – they’re totally fine just rinsed off, right?). It’s going to be a long few months until she’s actually ready.
Anonymous says
Are you a Daniel Tiger fan? In our house, we converted the song “Grownups come back” to “Diapers stay on”.
Anonymous says
I tend to think the diaper removal phase is not necessarily aligned with potty training. It’s like removing shoes and socks – they do it because they can and when you get upset, it becomes a game. Overnight, I’d add a sleepsack (two layers with zippers seems a bridge too far to me) and wear as many one-piece outfits as you can until the urge passes.
Lana Del Raygun says
I would wash the wine bottles with soap — it shouldn’t be able to get into the wine, but you want the glass properly clean because you’re going to touch it right before you pour.
mascot says
If this piece of practical, non-judgmental advice doesn’t sum up what it means to be on Team Parent, then I don’t know what does.
rosie says
We got a quilted bamboo sleepsack that is so cozy, I wish I had one. But for your purposes, I think because it’s a little fluffy & layered, it would be very hard to grasp diaper tabs through it and pajamas.
Anon says
Duct tape it on at night (a tip I saw here, I believe) or pick up a cloth diaper cover with snaps and put it on over the diaper.