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This looks like a fun top to blast your eyes out of the gray funk of winter. It does come in plain black, but for once I am very partial to the prints. The description of the fit on the Boden website is “drapey jersey with stretch,” so sign me up. If everything I wore fit into that description I would be a very happy person. I also really like the smocking detail on the high neck — it compliments the pattern but doesn’t compete. The top is $70 and available in four patterns and black in sizes 2–18. Connie Jersey Top Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Silly, I know says
My oldest is applying to private kindergartens in our competitive city, and I do not want to be a crazy mom on the DC boards (not that city!) but it’s such a stressful process! She did not hit it out of the park on the IQ test thing they do, which I think is a silly thing to give a four year old anyways, so now we need her to do well on the group “playdate” which is really a test too. She’s shy and takes a while to warm up to strange adults so this entire process is rigged against her personality type (younger brother will do fine…) She did not do well in her large mothers day out type program and has really thrived in her small preschool, so I do think I’d like her to end up in private. In the world of kids who are dandelions and kids who are orchids, this one is an orchid.
First, remind me this will all be fine. Also any tips going into kindergarten group tests? I feel like the SAHMs of the world have their kids doing specific exercises so they are more ready, but DH and I both work full-time and we have three kids under 5. Agh. I don’t want that to be the reason she doesn’t do well! But I realized post-IQ test thing that we could have done more to set her up to succeed. This process stinks.
Anonymous says
Idk what advice you want. You’re the adult here. She’s gonna do what she does. She doesn’t need to prep and didn’t sign up for this nonsense.
Annie says
So my understanding is that the playgroup and interview is really a test of the parent. Kids are kids and unless they stand out a lot one way or the other they’ll all be fine for the school. The parents, on the otherhand, can be a wide range from nice and normal to VERY high maintenance. My understanding is that the school wants parents who will be easy, good, kind partners for the next X amount of years, so just try to be nice, normal, friendly and kind to your kid and know that you’re probably being checked out.
OP says
I love this. I think we’re passing the relaxed test for sure. Which is actually why I posted… like maybe we should be doing something? But if it’s mostly just that we need to be more chill I think we have that covered. No time to do anything else but be normal! Thanks!
NYCer says
+1. Most of my reference point for these playgroup type “interviews” is for preschool (so, 2 or 3 year olds) not kindergarten, but my understanding is definitely the same as Annie’s.
Anon says
My experience is with preschool, but evaluating the parents may not just be about making sure you’re “chill.” I know our preschool seeks out parents they think will be involved with the school and volunteer, even though there is probably some correlation between higher maintenance people and people who volunteer. I imagine private K-12 schools would also be pretty interested in wealthy families who appear open to making donations to the school.
Annie says
Agreed – I don’t think it’s “chill” exactly b/c the school wants active involved parents – just nice, friendly ones who will not have absurd demands.
OP says
Fair! I think we can do that!
Anon says
Exactly. It might not be about being “relaxed,” but it is definitely to determine how the parent will interact with the teachers and the children. They don’t want parents who will try to do their jobs for them, who manage their kids’ lives into oblivion, or otherwise will create headaches.
FVNC says
I know nothing about these types of processes and am thankful to live an area where this is not a thing, but…I guess I wonder why you think a child who is shy and slow to warm up isn’t the personality “they” are looking for? I’d guess whoever they are, are looking for a mix of kids in their classes, so that they don’t end up with 15 outgoing, boisterous kids who are potentially disruptive. I’d think a quiet kid would add a nice balance to the group. Which is to say, don’t worry about her being herself, since as the poster above said, she’s going to do what she’s going to do.
SC says
It will be fine. I understand the stress. We’re going through the same process. I would not prep your child for the play date, other than to let her know what to expect. I would not feel bad about not prepping her for the IQ test. I know some kids do better on those tests with prep, but I also think it adds stress and anxiety that is unhealthy for a 4 year old. Let her go to the play date, and see how it goes. You’ll find a place that works out.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This sounds like an incredibly stressful process that really doesn’t need to be. She’s so young! Are all private Ks in your area like this, with the IQ tests and social tests? I mean, it really should be based on what she’s ready for, otherwise you will just feel stressed the entire time that she’s there trying to keep up with more and more parental involvement. It makes me sad to hear about parents having to prep their little kids to enter K. Not your fault at all, just more of a how did we get here?
P.S. I was shy as a kid and smart but not genius and I did fine in public school. Don’t rule it out entirely. Maybe there are some smaller group activities she can participate in instead while going to public. She’ll be fine and you can’t change her nature, just accept it.
Anonymous says
I have no advice. I mean you can’t really say “be more outgoing or you won’t get her into this school” to a 4 year old. The school may also be looking for a diversity of personalities so I’m sure shy is OK. You don’t want a class full of crazy outgoing kids. They’re probably making sure your child doesn’t have any antisocial behaviors like aggression, not respecting other kids boundaries, crying the entire time, etc…
TheElms says
I think the best thing you can do is do your best not to be anxious about it. She’ll pick up on your anxiety. If she’s the type of child that would benefit from knowing what to expect I would make sure she knows what to expect so it seems less strange to her. My kiddo is much younger, but I could imagine saying something like: next week we are going to check out your new school! Mom will take you and we’ll meet one of the people that might be your teacher and then Mom will go so you can play in the classroom with the other kids. Mom will come get you once playtime is over. And I can’t wait to hear about all the toys you played with.
Anon says
Do you live somewhere with decent public schools? I have a story for you.
I applied to a private school for my kid, whom I thought would benefit from an environment that was more like his preschool. I spent a lot more time on the kindergarten application than I did for the fancy college I attended. I poured my heart out and thought we ticked every box extremely well.
They didn’t give my kid a spot.
He’s at the local public school and thriving. Based on what he loves about the public school, I don’t know that he’d be doing as well at the private school I so wanted for him.
Anon says
I don’t have any advice, but I don’t think there’s any reason why quieter children can’t excel socially and academically in public school. I was painfully shy as a child, to the point that my preschool teachers recommended holding me back to my parents to give me another year to adjust to school and get better at coping with anxiety (I had a wildly overactive imagination and was scared of all sorts of irrational things in preschool). After consulting with the pediatrician, my parents ignored them and put me in kindergarten on schedule (I was young, but not the youngest) and I did perfectly fine in school. I wasn’t and never will be the social butterfly or class clown, but I was an excellent student that the teachers loved and I always had at least a few friends for most of K-12 (there was a rough time in there around grades 4-6, but I think that’s pretty common, especially for girls) and was never bullied. We don’t have secular private schools in my city, so I don’t have to make the choice for my kids, but just wanted to point out that even if you have to go with public schools, it will likely be completely fine.
Anonymous says
+1 to this. I don’t doubt you know your child better than a bunch of internet strangers, but a “large mothers day out” could likely be overwhelming for a lot of kids, and I’d be cautious on putting too much weight on that experience compared with a preschool she’s accustomed to. Transitions and new settings can be tough on all but the most go-with-the-flow kid, and if you don’t feel like private school is ideal either, I’d give public a second think.
OP says
Fair. I’d say I’m driven by two things: 1) class size, for a kid who can kind of fall through the cracks – she’s not the type to try to get the teacher’s attention, and 2) ours just isn’t great. But I do see it as a totally viable backup! And if it happens it’ll be fine! Glad to hear others have had good experiences, including with shyer kids!
AwayEmily says
+1. I think it’s worth trying the public school first, and then doing private as a fallback.
NYCer says
I am not sure where OP lives, but in many NYC private schools, it is difficult / impossible to get in to lower school at a grade other than K (other “normal” entry points for most private schools are 6th and 9th grades). The schools basically only fill spots in grades 1-5 if a student leaves the school (this does happen of course, but it is not extremely common, so there may only be a handful of spots). I wouldn’t bank on being able to get into a competitive private school (which OP’s definitely sounds like) if the public school ends up not working out.
Anonymous says
We are not in NYC or anywhere remotely like it, and it is still next to impossible to get a spot at the best private schools after K, especially for girls (there are gender quotas because some of the schools have separate boy/girl classes for upper elementary and middle school).
Anonymous says
I really like this top but am large of chest and find that anything with a high neck makes me look heavy. Small chested ladies please enjoy this for me!
mascot says
Agreed, I’d love to find this type of print in a different neckline.
Anonymous says
I think Boden has a couple other pieces with some of the prints from this blouse – maybe a button down and dress?
Anon says
I don’t think Boden generally works for large-chested people.
Anon says
The Carey top works for me at 38H, but I haven’t really looked at other tops since I’ve pretty much quit work pants (other than jeans Fridays) or skirts because my post-pregnancy (2.5 years later) shape doesn’t lead to well fitting bottoms and I don’t have the time or energy to find some that fit or work with a tailor. All the shift, a-line and fit and flare dresses all the time.
Anonymous says
I’m a 34G and disagree. I am also slightly short waisted though, and have broad shoulders. I wear a size larger on top than bottom.
Anon says
Oof you guys, this morning I overheard my daughter’s daycare teachers say something mildly derisive about me and my husband today (not anything terrible, just comparing us unfavorably to some other parents). Realistically, I know that everyone likes some people more than others, and you can vent even about people you like (lord knows I vent about my parents and husband, all of whom I love and like) but gah, it hurt. I feel like I’m back in middle school and being told I can’t sit at the cool girl’s table.
Anonymous says
Holy…. how unprofessional and inconsiderate of them to be saying ANYTHING about particular parents within earshot of parents or children.
I’m sorry this happened to you! Through mutual friends and my husband, it was relayed to me that a former coworker whom I like, and who has always been lovely to my face, “doesn’t like” me. There were a lot of links in that game of telephone, and maybe it wasn’t reliable (the person in question continues to be very warm to me when we happen to run into each other), but it hurt a lot. Way more than it should have, when I think about it with my rational brain. I was in a funk about it for days, and it still pops into my head at inopportune times and I get twinges of self-doubt. So, be kind to yourself, and give the hurt feeling time to pass. People are complex, as you point out.
Audrey III says
Hugs. I’m sure you’re awesome! It’s never fun to feel this way…just posting to let you know I feel it regularly when I sense or find out people don’t like me (I was definitely not allowed at the cool girls table in middle school, or anyone’s table for a while for that matter…) in case it helps to know that.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry, I can totally understand where you are coming from. I want everyone to like me, even people I don’t like.
Pogo says
Hugs. I know what you mean.
Night terrors says
Does anyone have any good tips or resources for dealing with what I suspect are night terrors? Is it worth getting a sleep consultant for this sort of issue or are they outside of the scope of what they can help with? I tend to think of sleep consultants as helping with more behavioral sleep related issues. Thanks!
Anonymous says
How old is your child? My DD had these prob starting around 9 months but they went away on their own. I could always tell because she’d be laying flat on her back eyes open screaming and if I picked her up she’d be worse. If she was actually awake and upset she’d be rolling around or standing up. After the first time I just left her alone and it would stop after a minute. But unfortunately I don’t think there’s any treatment for them
OP says
He’s 3.5 and this has been going on since February. We’re at the end of our ropes. He doesn’t fall asleep with us in the room, but he wakes up crying for us 3-4x a night. Not like he wakes up, gets scared and calls out, but he wakes up with a shout crying for us and isn’t 100% awake.
Anonymous says
I’m not sure if that’s night terrors then, but obviously I’m not an expert. From everything I’ve learned they wake up totally freaked out yelling. Like it should be so sudden it makes you jump. When our DD did It we literally ran because I thought she was seriously harmed. It sounds like your son is just waking up 3-4 times a night? Which is a different issue
AwayEmily says
Yeah, I agree that this does not sound like night terrors. My son (now 22 months) has had night terrors every few weeks since he was 15 months. He starts SCREAMING like he’s being murdered, and then if we go in doesn’t recognize us, stop crying, or wake up at all. Like, not even 1% awake, he is totally out but screaming in terror. If your kid is crying *for you* that seems like he has a bit more awareness.
And I think this is a good thing — waking up in the night you can deal with much more easily than night terrors, I think (at least, that’s what our pediatrician told us).
Anon says
+1, this sounds like just waking up and crying in the night, not night terrors.
Anonymous says
If available to you, I’d suggest a sleep clinic vs a sleep consultant. My oldest had night terrors starting around 2.5, and we got through them just by talking to her ped, confirming they were night terrors and how to act.
My second had sleep issues starting at 2.5- she’d always been sort of a crummy sleeper compared to #1, but at 2.5 it was an undeniable issue. We went to a sleep clinic (there is one that is part of the children’s hospital in our city). They had us keep a sleep log for a week or two prior and we saw an NP who took one look at our sleep log and told us how to fix things. She also talked to our (EXTREMELY stubborn) daughter a little bit, talking up the plan. The plan + the lure of “the prize from the doctor” had us all sleeping again within a week or so.
I am not sure if the sleep consultants that come to your house are really what you want- but if it’s just night terrors you can probably either do a phone consult or just read about them online.
OP says
Can I ask you for a little more info? With your oldest, am I reading this correctly that you didn’t do a sleep study? Our pediatrician just told us to try waking him up an hour before his usual wake up times, fully waking him, then putting him back down. We plan to do that this week, but are trying to keep a log for a few nights to make sure we know the schedule well enough (since we’re always so out of it and dazed).
Was your young child’s issue night terrors in the end or something else?
Thank you!
Anonymous says
No, when my oldest had night terrors it was pretty textbook. We did exactly what your ped suggested and it did help (or she outgrew them). She wasn’t quite as violent/ragey as The Internet says, and she sometimes remembered the incident, but sometimes not. She woke up FREAKING OUT pretty much every night at 11pm.
My middle kiddo, the one with the Major Sleep Issues, did actually get a sleep study. It wasn’t because of the wake-ups, though, exactly. They thought she might have sleep apnea, or possibly allergies waking her up in the middle of the night. By the time we got the sleep study scheduled (and re scheduled since she got strep the week of the original), we’d pretty much solved the sleep problem. We did the study anyway. It was not fun but she was a trooper (she was not quite 3.5 at that time). We also did a bout of allergy testing. It was all negative. Sleep study was normal. I don’t know that she ever really had a diagnosis. We started putting her to bed later than normal, and waking her up early, so that she basically was sleeping only 9 hours a night (which is way less than The Books say). The sleep doc told us that we basically have to reset her and make her so tired she can’t muster the energy to wake up in the middle of the night. Her symptoms were different than what you have, though. She would wake up routinely at 1-2 am and quietly wake me up saying she can’t get back to sleep. Then stay up until 3-4am. It was awful. but they were most def not night terrors.
For what seem to be night terrors, I would NOT advise pushing for a sleep study unless you think there are other things at play.
OP says
Oof, they both sound terrible! I’m glad you made it to the other side, and thank you for sharing all of this with me, it’s really very helpful.
Can I ask you one more follow up? With your oldest, do you recall how many days you had to do the proactive wake-ups before it seemed to take effect?
Thank you!
Anonymous says
In all honesty, it was like, 4 years ago and I have two other kids now so it’s all a bit hazy. it was not an instant fix. maybe a week or two? Maybe more like a few weeks coupled with her growing out of it.
As i’m typing all this out I realize what a “3rd time mom” I’ve become. There was a period of 18 months or so when my youngest was born and my middle had sleep issues and my oldest was awakened by all the kurfuffle (or had bad quality sleep because of it) and was a monster during the day. I didn’t really sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Man those were dark times. I had basically forgotten about the time my oldest had night terrors (which were awful at the time but pale in comparison to The Dark Times!)
anotheranon says
Four more days til I can take a pg test (HCG would give a false positive) and I’m spotting this morning. I’m so disappointed.
Anon says
Why would an HCG give a false positive? Doesn’t it usually give false negatives?
Spotting could be implantation bleeding.
rosie says
I’m guessing that anotheranon was doing some kind of fertility treatment that involved an HCG shot to trigger/time ovulation). If you do this and test too early (without testing every day to see when the shot is out of your system), you risk getting a positive from the HCG you injected instead of a pregnancy. Or maybe I’m misunderstanding. But anyway, hoping for the best for you, anotheranon!
Leatty says
Hope is not lost. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had implantation bleeding several days before a positive test.
Anon says
+1
I know it may not help to hear other people say this, but I had the same thing happen.
Pogo says
Hugs. That wait is the absolute worst. I won’t be able to test before Christmas I don’t think (will be 10dp5dt – so if anyone has knowledge on that lmk), and it’s going to be lonely. I might tell the family, since I won’t be drinking obviously. Hoping it is implantation bleeding and you get your positive!
Anonny says
If you didn’t do a trigger shot you can test sooner! I got a faint line on an FRER at 5pd5dt.
Pogo says
I triggered w/ Ovidrel :(
Anonymous says
If you don’t have a positive test there is no reason for you to not be drinking. Take a glass of wine and drink it slowly
Anon says
Thinking good thoughts for you and Pogo!
Bitten says
Long post alert. I need some help figuring out how I should approach a tough situation with my son’s daycare. Over the last month, my 16-month-old son on has been bitten by another child in his “under twos” class 4 times. On Friday, my son tried to drink out of this child’s milk cup and the classmate bit my son on the hand hard enough to leave bite marks all weekend. Yesterday when I went to pick my son up, he had large, raised purple welts covering his cheek. When I asked what happened, the teacher told me my son had been bitten again over a toy.
My son is pretty rough and tumble. The bites don’t particularly seem to bother him, and the teachers tell me he doesn’t cry when they happen. I’m trying to be reasonable about this. Both boys are too young to really understand sharing of food/toys/etc. yet, and the biter doesn’t know any better- he’s just a baby. It’s not like he’s biting out of malice. I’m trying to be empathetic to the biter and his parents. I know I would be mortified if my son were the biter, but I wouldn’t know how to correct it. Plus, I want to make sure I’ve built up good karma in case my own son has issues down the road.
When I’ve spoken to the daycare administrators about the issue, they’ve been sympathetic, but more or less dismissive. The daycare does have a biting policy. The teachers correct biters with a firm “NO” and console and treat the child who was bitten if necessary, but other than that, the biting policy is pretty vague. The biter’s parents are notified, and if the daycare isn’t able to correct the behavior over time, the parents are asked to remove the biter from the daycare. We know who the biter is (I guessed correctly), but we don’t know his parents. I live in a rural area and don’t have many other choices of daycare. This center is far and away the best one available to us, and other than this issue, we love it. My son is well-supervised and treated with love.
I really don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill, but my husband and I are alarmed by the pattern of behavior, and by the severity of the bites. Would you do anything? If so, what?
Anonymous says
I would raise it with the director every single time it happens. Take pictures to document. Really surprised you had to ask about it. In my area, any physical incident like this between two kids would require an incident report be provided to the parents to review and sign. They have a state social worker that reviews all the incident reports monthly. Check the regulations to make sure whether or not they are supposed to be doing incidents reports.
One of my twins was the biter. I felt awful about it but the teachers were very proactive about dealing with it and I don’t think anyone actually got bit more than once or twice. He learned pretty quick when he was removed to the director’s office and didn’t get to play for 15 minutes every time he bit. In class, he always sat next to the teacher at snack time so they could intervene if he moved like he was going to bite anyone.
CHL says
I think it’s very normal to be concerned but this seems pretty typical to me. This is age-appropriate behavior and response and as long as the administration was sympathetic and has a policy that it is actually implementing, I would look at it as a phase that will probably only last a short time. My kid was bitten for a little while at his daycare and has turned out fine. If you like it otherwise, I would let it go and/or set a “timer” on when you will really start to worry about it (3 months or something.)
Anonymous says
+1
anon says
+1 also I had a biter. With my kid, we think she did it because she was small and had hypotonia that made her weaker than her classmates and unable to be as rough and tumble as normal kids because she was so weak. I say trust your gut but it sounds like your center is sensitive to it and sees it as within the range of normal.
Mommy Shark says
+1
My kid was a biter, she was also the smallest and the last to walk in her class, so it was her way of getting personal space before she could use her words. One thing that did minimize her behavior was making sure that my little shark didn’t have too much sit and wait time, since that seemed to be the other time she started to bite.
Irish Midori says
Same. We saw some pretty alarming bites on one kid in daycare, and I admit we kinda felt the same way, but I guess it’s normal, and not much that the daycare (or biter’s parents) can do about that part of life, other than what they are doing. No long term effects, and eventually the phase passes.
avocado says
This is the just first of many, many times when you will realize that as a parent you can’t have it all. There will be positives and negatives to every child care situation, every school, basically every choice you can make for your child, and the best you can do is to choose the situation that has the most positives and whose negatives you can tolerate.
My daughter’s university-based day care was absolutely amazing, with one notable exception–the food. The program was play-based, there was zero turnover among the fantastic teachers, the kids spent two hours a day playing outside, they took walks to attend events in town twice a week, there were very few discipline issues, it was inexpensive. But the center participated in the USDA nutrition program, which meant that they served horrible processed food, much of it from BPA-lined cans, and would not allow in any outside food. There were several families that pulled their kids over the food issue, and ended up sending their kids to a chain center where the food was a little better, the care was much worse, and the tuition was much higher. High-quality care with decent food was simply not an available option, so we chose to keep our kid in the high-quality, low-cost center, let her eat the garbage food at day care, and feed her better food at home. In your case, the “best” center has a biting problem. A high-quality center without a biting problem does not exist, and it’s not clear that trading off some quality of care for less biting is even an option–the low-quality centers may have even worse biting issues. And as you mention, it’s entirely possible that next month your son might switch roles from victim to biter. You have already exhausted your options with the school. Talking to the biter’s parents is not likely to get you anywhere. In your shoes, I’d just grit my teeth and put up with it until it blows over or the biter is expelled.
Anon says
I thought you were describing the university daycare center my kids attend until you said it was cheap! ;) Ours is expensive but could otherwise be described the same way, down to no teacher turnover and processed food.
I agree that no daycare is perfect but that said, I agree with the first poster that any kind of biting should merit an incident report, particularly if it leaves a mark, and there should be some kind of process for dealing with repeat biters. If you’re rural, this may well be your best care option, but I would probably still investigate some others – shouldn’t be that hard to take a brief tour and find out what their policies are about biting.
Blueberries says
This is a wonderful way of describing so much of parenting and my life as a parent more generally. I don’t love that there’s not always a third option (still wishing for work that uses my skills that requires reasonable hours close to my home). But, it’s great to see this issue explained this way. Thank you!
IHeartBacon says
This comment is so well said. I have to file it away to read when I find myself in the same situation (or something like it).
Bitten (OP) says
Thank you so much for this very thoughtful response. This is so well put, and really made me feel better. Thanks again for the perspective.
AnotherAnon says
If your son doesn’t seem traumatized by the biting, I would address it with the director each time it happens (so it’s documented) and leave it at that. I do not think addressing it with the parents would be well received. I ended up moving my son over biting, but the circumstances were very different. For one thing, it was four bites in five days, three of which weren’t even documented, the director completely dismissed my concerns, and my laid back kid had developed anxiety around attending day care – crying at drop off, never napping at school, seeming very withdrawn and fearful when that is not normally his M.O. It just wasn’t the right school for us. But we live in the suburbs and have the luxury of many choices for day care. Sorry you’re experiencing this.
Meg says
This is so so common for kids 1-2! When our son entered the toddler room, he would get bitten maybe once a month. The most tragic was “Son was quietly sitting alone reading a book. A friend came up behind him and bit his shoulder.” He had a full-on dental record bruise! Our center called us and gave us an ouch report each time. Then when our son’s molars started coming in, he became the perpetrator: “Friend and son were playing with the same toy. Son bit friend’s hand.” My husband and I freaked out, and the center reassured us that they were shadowing him closer and asked us to get a Razberry teether to help him chomp on something when his mouth hurt. My sisters commiserated that their kids had similarly been biter and bitee at this age. A month later, everything seems to have calmed down. Basically, it’s totally reasonable to freak, but rest assured that it’s very common. Maybe just ask the center to be more proactive about shadowing kids who are teething and sharing ouch reports?
HSAL says
We had a few weeks or so a couple months ago where one of my twins was the biter. It’s awful. Good news is she was mainly biting her brother, so at least we kept it in the family. She had about three “incident reports” in a week and I asked the director if she was going to get kicked out. She said that although they do document everything, it wouldn’t become an issue requiring a conference or anything until it was multiple times a day. I was still worried we’d get to that point, but a couple weeks later it just went away. In addition to the teether and proactive monitoring, I’d also ask what time the bites usually happen – in my older daughter’s class, they found the biting occurred most often prior to naptime. They moved naptime up a half hour and it dramatically decreased the biting incidents. The one-nap schedule at the young toddler age was just a tough transition and they needed to go down earlier.
AO says
My son is 13 months and was bitten a few times at his daycare recently. I wasn’t sure what to ask for from the caregivers, since all the kids are too little to really understand discipline. In the end I just requested that they try to keep my son away from the biter, and that seems to have worked for now. They aren’t ever seated next to each other, play in different parts of the room, etc. I’m not sure there’s much else they can do, for now.
Anon says
Sort of related to the question about quiet/shy preschoolers above…Is it normal for toddlers to be more reserved at daycare than at home? My 21 month old has been in daycare for about 8 months. She never cries at drop-off and seems to really enjoy going to school. On the way home from school she is a chatterbox and will tell me about her day and use her teachers’ and classmates’ names, so I know she’s engaging with the environment and not just staring off into space all day. But she seems to not quite feel comfortable enough to be herself when she’s at school. The upside of this is that she’s much better behaved at school than home (her teachers have seen her cry precisely once – when she fell down and got hurt – and we’ve gotten effusive praise about how well she follows directions and rules…not always the case at home for sure!). But I hate that she’s already been labeled as ‘the shy kid’ by the teachers, and it doesn’t feel great when teachers tell us things like she doesn’t really speak unless spoken to directly and that she always has a serious look on her face. At home she’s a hilarious, goofy kid who is giggling and talking basically non-stop and I wish her other caregivers could see that side of her. In addition, we recently got an assessment of her skills from the school, and the teachers marked “not yet achieved” for many things she does at home, presumably because she doesn’t talk enough at school to demonstrate these skills. I know the assessment doesn’t matter and even without the additional skills they said her development is within the normal range (though below average), but it’s a little frustrating because it kind of feels like her personality is holding her back. Are there ways I can encourage her to open up more at school without her feeling like I’m trying to turn her into an improvement project? I obviously adore her and think she’s the greatest kid, I just wish others could see more of her amazing personality.
Irish Midori says
I love this top. That is all.
ALC says
Daycare sent a message to us through our daycare app that baby has a rash on his face. I guess it isn’t serious or they would have called us, and they don’t seem to need us to pick him up. What am I supposed to do? Should I call our ped’s nurse line?
Anonymous says
In all honesty, it was like, 4 years ago and I have two other kids now so it’s all a bit hazy. it was not an instant fix. maybe a week or two? Maybe more like a few weeks coupled with her growing out of it.
As i’m typing all this out I realize what a “3rd time mom” I’ve become. There was a period of 18 months or so when my youngest was born and my middle had sleep issues and my oldest was awakened by all the kurfuffle (or had bad quality sleep because of it) and was a monster during the day. I didn’t really sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Man those were dark times. I had basically forgotten about the time my oldest had night terrors (which were awful at the time but pale in comparison to The Dark Times!)