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Over the past few months, I can count the number of times I’ve worn makeup on one hand. When I do put it on, I want maximum reward for minimal effort.
There’s a reason that Cloud Paint is one of Glossier’s top rated products. It’s a “seamless, buildable gel-cream blush” that comes in eight universally flattering shades — I have Haze (a berry fuschia) and Beam (a warm peach).
Cloud Paint starts out sheer for easy, natural-looking color; you never have to worry about overdoing it. It gives me a soft, lit-from-within glow that makes it look like I always have my Zoom filter on.
Cloud Paint is $18 at Glossier.com.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
fallen says
does anyone have a kid who talks a lot? my oldest (7) is super extroverted and talks all day long. I find weekends so exhausting with constant talking. my husband doesn’t seem too bothered by it but i don’t know why i find it really hard. I think it has also gotten harder with covid now that we are just hanging out the four of us so there’s no one for her to talk with but us. I feel bad that I am not enjoying conversation 24/7 but it’s just too much sometimes.
Anonymous says
I don’t have an overly talkative kid, but I can commiserate because I have a husband who wants to have deep conversations 24×7. It is exhausting. The only advice I have is to carve out some alone time, perhaps with the help of screens.
CPA Lady says
Yes. My 6 year old daughter has not stopped talking since she was old enough to form sentences. The only time she stops talking is when she’s watching TV, but sometimes she even talks during that. Going on walks or riding in the car with her is like listening to a 30-40 minute monologue of all the thoughts in her head. Occasionally she’ll pause for 10 or so seconds and I’ll think I’m going to get a break, then she picks right back up. I was apparently the same way as a kid. Sometimes when I really can’t handle it anymore, I tell her my ears are tired and I need a break. Sometimes that helps. It has gotten easier as she’s gotten older and we can actually talk about things that are interesting. My husband is an introverted “man of few words” and I think the constant chatter is a lot harder on him than it is on me, and it’s plenty tiring for me.
FWIW, it can be a symptom of ADHD. I’m considering getting my daughter screened for that (it’s not her only symptom) and I’m getting screened for it myself.
Anonymous says
Yes – when I find it too much I’ll usually FaceTime her with her grandma, aunt or friend.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I don’t know if my older kid talks an unusually extra, but he certainly talks more than I did as a kid and more than I do now as an adult. As someone who likes quiet and doesn’t discuss all my thoughts, it’s exhausting for me but I don’t necessarily think that it’s a bad thing that he’s so chatty. He asks good questions and is definitely not shy in sharing his emotions! I find that engaging in an activity like trains, puzzles, TV are good ways to occupy him, although he will still ask questions. We’re almost at a point where his little brother can engage back in conversations with him, so I hope that he will be the listener that my older one needs. In the car, I often just say, “oh wow,” “cool” or repeat what he says without really giving too much thought to the conversation.
Anon says
Yep, my 3 year old only child extrovert talks non-stop. Lockdown was complete h3ll because she had no one to talk to but us. It’s better now that she’s in daycare because she comes home pretty exhausted so she is a little quieter and goes to bed very early. Someone here suggested setting up video calls with relatives so they can get their talking needs met that way. It doesn’t really work for my kid, I think she’s just a little too young to really engage, even with a very familiar person, over the screen, but might work for a 7 year old?
Anon. says
Oh man, my 5 yr old talks all day, and loudly, because everything is exciting to him.
We’re practicing inside voice and adapting your volume to how close people are. I tell him my ears hurt if he speaks too loud when he’s close to me.
The downside of this is that then he’s loud outside when we go for walks, but yeah, kids are loud.
I wish I could have a nature walk in peace without scaring away all the birds, lol.
Leatty says
Yep. My 3 year old talks constantly, and DH and I are both introverts. It’s hard. We’ve taken to hiring a sitter every weekend so she can talk to someone else for a few hours.
Pogo says
“Oh wow that sounds cool!” “Yeah, and then what?” “Yes, I think you’re right, they do!” etc
I might be a terrible parent, but I kinda half-listen and phone it in. If we don’t respond he yells “MOMMY DADDY YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO MY WORDS!” And we do quiet time in his room + screen time in the afternoons which gives us a break. Outdoor time can be helpful, too. But otherwise we are captive to his ongoing narration of his Duplo toys, Brio trains and/or paw patrol figurines.
If you have family nearby, my parents really get a kick out of it so they will hang out with him and listen. We can’t do video calls with my inlaws because they want to talk about themselves rather than listen to him and that just turns him into a monster.
Spirograph says
Yeah, this is what I do, too. Two of my kids are chatterboxes, and the youngest adorably/annoyingly will repeat the same thing approximately 5x in different ways, or try out different sentence structures before he finally completes his thought. Quiet time is a must on weekends when we can’t send them outdoors. I try to have some focused attention on each of them each day and really pay attention and have a good conversation, but the stream-of-consciousness narration or the blow-by-blow in excruciating detail of what they did that day gets only half an ear.
octagon says
I have mastered the “last word response” with my kiddo who at 6 has been talking nonstop since he was 20 months hold.
“Mom, and then the trucks did this thing and then that thing and then they blah blah blah and then crashed!”
“Crashed?!”
“Yeah, and then they went around and around and Joey said that he wanted spaghetti for dinner but I wanted macaroni.”
“Macaroni?”
… etc etc etc
Becoming a parent made me an introvert.
Patti Mayonnaise says
My 4 year old is like this. What about just being really honest. Sometimes I say things like “I love talking with you and I want to hear what you have to say, but I need a break/some quiet time right now to read. Can we talk later?” That seems to really help for us.
So Anon says
Solidarity. My 10 yr old has two modes: FTing his friends very loudly from his room or narrating out loud all of the thoughts that pass through his head. This is the reason that I encourage him to FT and play minecraft or whatever game with his buddies because then he can share all of his words with someone else. It becomes like a constant buzzing in my head, and I am someone who needs and loves quiet.
On the practical side, I have no problem telling him that I need a break, silence, am trying to listen to a podcast, etc. I have found that if I tell him that – I really want to pay attention to him, and right now my attention is focused on X. Can I let him know when I am ready to chat? – It really helps. Also, I try and go outside on a walk with him and have him talk to me. If I don’t draw boundaries these boundaries on my own sensory input, I am frazzled by the end of the day, especially on the weekend when it is just me and the kids.
anon says
Yup. My 11-year-old, who talks for the sake of talking. It’s not even communication; it’s just spewing forth information about literally anything and everything. There are times when I’m pretty blunt and tell him my ears are full; other times, I sort of zone out. I have no cure.
AnonATL says
My husband and I have vaccine appointments on the books and both sets of our parents have had at least one dose already!
So relieved and excited on this sunny Monday.
Anon says
Hooray!
So Anon says
YAY!!
Anon says
does anyone have a rec for kids swim shoes, like to wear in the pool? we live in an apartment complex with a pool, and the concrete is just not kind to kids toes. i remember aqua socks from back in the day, but can’t seem to find them.
Anonymous says
https://www.landsend.com/products/kids-closed-toe-water-sandals/id_352139?attributes=46692&source=GS¤cy=USD&geo=US&skumv=5590515&promotion-code=BIRD&promotion-pin=0&cm_mmc=139971612&SC=pla_brand&CMPGN=11304131265&ADGRP=112736736153&KYW=&MT=&DV=m&PID=5590515&TRGT=pla-979633365970&gclid=CjwKCAjwgOGCBhAlEiwA7FUXkrIdaLYuwXmpx-91wt0gNToLM-Q5duZu1pjtD04g7OImFsfX-kUMvBoCFwAQAvD_BwE&gclid=CjwKCAjwgOGCBhAlEiwA7FUXkrIdaLYuwXmpx-91wt0gNToLM-Q5duZu1pjtD04g7OImFsfX-kUMvBoCFwAQAvD_BwE&CH=Google%20AdWords&_cclid=Google_CjwKCAjwgOGCBhAlEiwA7FUXkrIdaLYuwXmpx-91wt0gNToLM-Q5duZu1pjtD04g7OImFsfX-kUMvBoCFwAQAvD_BwE
Anon says
+1 to the Landsend rec, also Famous Footwear
https://www.famousfootwear.com/search#q=water%20shoes&sort=relevancy
OP says
thanks for the rec! and these aren’t too heavy for actual swimming?
Anonymous says
Target usually has some Speedo brand water shoes that resemble Aqua Socks.
Anon mom says
I ordered these last year and they are fantastic – high quality and stay on really well CIOR Boys & Girls Water Shoes Quick Drying Sports Aqua Athletic Sneakers Lightweight Sport Shoes(Toddler/Little Kid/Big Kid) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081Z1KH2F/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_XW5XG8GJGRTQ1NSFP0DT?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Anonie says
Can you all tell me your favorite picnic / outdoor blankets that have the waterproof layer and the soft top? Thanks!
AnonATL says
Someone recommended Beantown Blankets the other week and we ordered one. Very nice quality and a good cause.
Anon. says
That was me! Glad you like it!
Blueberries says
If the picnic blanket will primarily be used near your house or car, the Yeti one is awesome. It’s huge, soft, waterproof on the bottom and handles spills well on the top, and machine washable.
It’s also large and heavy, so not great if you have to carry it long distances.
Stacey says
Mambe. They also make hooded blankets to wear during cold, wet soccer games!
Anonymous says
My 4 year old has learned to ride a pedal bike (the strider 14x with the pedal kit). What’s the next bike I should get for her? I see the Woom3 recommended everywhere but it’s on waitlist, pretty expensive, and seems non existent on the second hand market. All the bikes at target and amazon, or other brands recommended, that might be her size come with training wheels we don’t need and are really heavy (her strider with pedals is 15 lbs, other bikes except the woom are all around 18-20). Any alternatives I am missing? She is small so maybe I just need to suck it up and get on the waitlist for the woom. Would love to hear if there are other suggestions though.
Anonymous says
Go to your local bike store! They know what bike will work, grow with her, and what they can actually get you to take home.
Anon says
+1 definitely bike store
A says
We recently ordered a Guardian bike for my six year old and have been very happy with it.
ANON says
We just got a Guardian also and are happy with it. They have good tools online for measuring what size your kid needs. We had Woom 1 & 2 before this.
Momofthree says
Third for the guardian 16in after a Strider 14. Only complaint we have is that our kid is very hard on the brakes (there’s a hand brake on the guardian as opposed to the back pedal break on the Strider) so we’ve worn through the brake fairly quickly. Still recommend the hand break overall though.
Our 5 year old is on the Guardian and may soon be ready for a larger bike (we’re eyeing 1 at Costco currently)- but he’s also very tall.
We’re less concerned about usage because we have two younger kids who can inherit (younger brother is currently on the Strider 14 in).
AwayEmily says
I wouldn’t dismiss those bikes just cause they are a bit heavier. Our 4yo uses a cheap hand-me-down bike from a neighbor that they got at Target or Dick’s or something. It’s totally fine. Eventually when she stops growing so fast we may get her something nicer but at this point I don’t see the need in buying a $400 bike when there are perfectly adequate $150 ones.
TheElms says
If she’s small why can’t see keep riding the strider with pedals? I would think you’d get at least a couple years out of it. I see average sized 5/6 year olds riding them around me. And by then weight wouldn’t be as much an issue and you would have more choice. But if you’re looking for an alternative to the Woom there is the Guardian. https://guardianbikes.com/products/16-inch-bike
Anonymous says
That’s a good point I guess I could give it another year. I suppose I worried she is already slightly too tall for it but we could probably raise the seat more. And I would love it if the next bike we buy for her could last for a few years instead.
Cb says
Ugh, there are bike shortages everywhere. Friends in the US had Isla bikes. But you may run into similar waitlist issues. We had Frog and Forme bikes and they were fab, but think they are UK only.
Leatty says
We got my 3 year old a Giant bike (which is the same brand DH and I use), and it is great. Very lightweight. I think we spent $250 for a 16″ because we knew it would get a lot of use, and it can be passed down to her younger brother.
Spirograph says
My youngest has a REI co-op bike that we got last year when he was 3.5. It’s pretty light, comes with stickers to decorate it, and starts at really small sizes. I don’t remember whether it came with training wheels or not, but we just … didn’t put them on.
What is the secret sauce that’s supposed to make the woom3 worth almost $400?! *MY* bike cost that much.
Anon says
We got my four-year-old a Royal Baby bike from Amazon. It was pretty light, totally fine, but nothing special. He is also on the small side and I didn’t want to spend too much money on something he’d outgrow.
Now, at 5.5, I took him to the local bike shop and bought a 20” bike that should last him for several years.
anon. says
We have the EXACT same situation (Strider 14x with kit) for our 4 yo son and he is super fast and confident on it, but needs something more powerful. We took him to the local bike shop and he was still a little too small for the next bike to make sense. They recommended coming back in 6 months. I would mask up and take her – it may not be a problem you need to solve for another few months.
FP says
We love the Woom and I think it’s worth the wait – FWIW I’m on the list because I want to order one for my nephew, and their preorders just opened up to ship in June, which really isn’t too long to wait for it. My 4.5 year old has the Woom 3 and I am so impressed with it. Just a very thoughtful design.
AcademicDoc says
I am back at work with a dress code north of business casual and south of business formal having had a baby almost 5 mos ago. It took me a loooooonnnng time to get pregnant and so my wardrobe prior to pregnancy was wearing out anyway. Now everything has shifted around and little of my prior wardrobe a) fits and b) is is good enough shape to keep for the next 6 mos while my body likely returns to near where is was. What do you all recommend for this? I am down to a single pair of Eileen Fisher black pants, a dress, and some skirts. The tops situation is a disaster, especially with my giagondo nursing boobs. Added to this, I just started my first legit job after a decade of training (I’m a doc) and would like my wardrobe to reflect the fact that I now make more than a resident, but with paying my nanny need to acquire things over time rather than just going to Nordstrom and buying everything. Help!
Anon says
your right that your body might change a lot over the next 6 months and when you wean, so i’d recommend buying less expensive ‘fast fashion’ now and invest once your body settles, though if you like your Eileen Fisher pants those seem like something that could probably continue to work for you. do you prefer pants, dresses or skirts? do you wear a white coat over your clothes? i’m not a doc, but all of my friends are. depending on your role and work environment, shoes and hair can help make you look more professional and put together. but it really depends on your environment and practice area
AcademicDoc says
I do wear a white coat and split my time between all three pant/dresses/skirts. My hair is boring “white girl brown hair” in a bob that is fine and will never be much better than that unless I learn how to blow it out and use a ton of products.
Mary Moo Cow says
Since you’re wearing a white coat, I would focus on shoes, jewelry, hair, and makeup to distinguish yourself from a resident. As for actual clothes, my sympathies — with the rise of work from home, I think finding true business casual and (especially) business formal is going to be very hard.
Wrap tops never really worked for me while I was nursing (too much exposure), but the Isabella Oliver wrap dresses were a dream. I would buy yourself a few of those to tide you over.
How about a Nordstrom Trunk Club order? I’ve used it a few times and been pleased (more so than Stich Fix. SF just never understood professional dress.) It is also nice because you can try on at home, on your own time.
oil in houston says
congrats on being done with training! when I went back to work, I made sure 1. the clothes I did have fit, nothing worse than being in pants or skirts that make you feel fat, 2. they were either reasonably cheap or could be altered later if need be, 3. made me feel senior as I had reached that level in my org
so I went to boden a lot (many clothes are quite stretchy, with interesting details), lands end (good dresses), Nordstrom during the sale, or nordstrom rack.
I also started wearing my jewelry again, which I couldn’t do when at home with the baby.
good luck!
Katala says
I agree you probably need to go with fast fashion to hold you over. I liked flowy tops with ankle pants or pencil skirts as they seemed more forgiving to changing shapes and I could find a few different patterns so it didn’t look like I was wearing the same clothes every day (even if my bottoms repeated during the week). Patterns also help hide stains if you’re bfing and have that issue. You have my sympathies, it’s so hard to find clothes that work for this period. If you find something, buy multiples. Stitchfix actually sent me some items I wouldn’t have found on my own, but they’re not super inexpensive.
anonamama says
Congrats on your role and little one! A little pricey, but if you like button down tops, I would invest in the Rochelle Behrens ones – they have extra buttons to keep you from gaping which can be a big relief. I wore them with a tank top under and sized up post-partum and they have looked great through all the weight and boob fluctuations. NYDJ makes some good polished but flowy tops, too, and you can always find them at Nordstrom Rack/Zulily. If you know a particular designer’s sizing well, Poshmark can be a good stop to find them gently used/sometimes NWT.
No Face says
I would go to a high quality thrift store instead of fast fashion, but otherwise agree. I like trying on a ton of brands at once during the post partum phase.
For pants, Macy’s has a wide selection of professional pants with an elastic waistband. I have Charter Club and Alfani pants like that.
strollerstrike says
Omg my 20 months old cries SO MUCH!! Mostly out of anger when he doesn’t get his way. It is so exhausting. Please tell me this will get better?
Anon says
It might? It might not? Either way, it’s normal. I think my 3 year old cries more now than she ever has before. You don’t need to stay in the room and listen to the cries if it’s exhausting you. Us leaving the room usually leads to my kid calming down faster anyway.
Pogo says
+1 I think this is so kid-dependent. Mine didn’t cry at all at that age, but now at 3.5 he cries if I pick the “wrong” yogurt pouch for him. So maybe he’s getting it out now?
NYCer says
My just turned 2 daughter cries so much less now than she did at 20 months. Like night and day difference. I know it could/will change again, but I will enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully you will have the same experience.
Anonymous says
It does get better. Having learned a new language by immersion as an adult I always have a lot do empathy for the baby/toddler years when they are trying to communicate what they want/think/feel but don’t have the language ability yet. It’s so hard and frustrating. Hang in there. You’ll probably see a language explosion in the next couple months and that helps with crying in my experience.
Anon says
My experience was that 20 months was pretty much peak “crying because I can’t communicate” and that got much better around 2. But then it got much worse again around 2.75 when everything in her life became The Worst Thing Ever. Threenager is real.
GCA says
I am living through the start of the threenager stage and this is so real. Developmentally appropriate, but exhausting. 20-month-olds cry because they can’t communicate. (This is pretty much normal – it’s possible to distract and redirect. Sending OP patience and strength!) 2.75yos cry because their brains don’t work in entirely rational ways and it’s all overwhelming for them, and so, so much harder to redirect and reason with them.
Momofthree says
Yes completely agree on redirection/ distraction.
At 3, our middle child also tends to snap out of it after a few minutes. We go from end of the world to ok quickly.
We’ll also say things like “I know it’s hard when you can’t have x. We know you like X. Unfortunately x isn’t an option now. You have two choices- do/eat/play with non-x thing or find something else to do.”
Nanny birthday gift says
For those of you who have or previously had a nanny, what do you do for birthdays? We’re planning on doing a week’s pay for Christmas based on what I’ve read, but that seems like a bit much for a birthday, and I haven’t really found a good standard guidance. A gift card? A gift card plus flowers or chocolates or something similar? My child is 5 months so a bit too young to add a homemade craft into the mix.
Anonymous says
I did $200 cash plus a small gift.
Anon says
so our nanny’s bday was like 2 months after she started working for us. the first year we did $50 giftcard and some cupcakes. since then we’ve done $100 in cash and now that my kids are older, they color cards for her and have a mini ‘party’ with hats and cupcakes
NYCer says
We generally give our nanny extra cash on her birthday, and we get a cake and have a little celebration at home with her. This year I gave her what was equivalent to one extra day of pay, though I have to admit I didn’t think of it that way when deciding on an amount.
I really don’t think there is a standard answer here though! I have asked many friends what they do for nanny birthdays, and it really has varied (flowers, physical gift, cash, gift card, cupcakes, etc.). I am sure she will appreciate whatever you end up doing!
Anon says
I did nothing. I didn’t even know our nanny’s birthday. To me, it was an employer-employee relationship and my boss doesn’t give me birthday presents. But I gather from comments here that I’m in the minority and most people treat a nanny more like a friend.
Fwiw, 5 months is not too young to do something like a handprint or footprint “from” the kid, but I assume most nannies really want giftcard/cash.
Anonymous says
I give my secretary a birthday gift too.
Anon says
Huh. I’ve never given or received a birthday gift at work. Holiday gifts for sure, and we did give our nanny a holiday bonus (cash).
Mary Moo Cow says
We celebrate all our birthdays at work with fruit or cake. Attorneys and staff give attorneys a joint card, but attorneys give staff cards and candy or flowers.
Anon says
Same – cash plus flowers for her desk.
Lyssa says
I’ve never had a nanny, but this was my thinking, here, too – “you’re supposed to give your nanny a (substantial) birthday present?”
But then, this sort of thing is one of the reasons that I’ve never thought that I would be all that comfortable with having a nanny in the first place. (Not this, specifically, but the overall sense that there is so much of a personal relationship aspect to something that is still overall an employee/employer relationship.) Interesting to read about, though.
Anon says
Yeah I wasn’t really comfortable with the nanny relationship either. We did it as a stopgap between paternity leave and getting into the daycare of our choice, and have been much, much happier with daycare.
Anonymous says
Yes, this is so personal. We had a nanny as a stopgap as well, and I am much, much happier with the more transactional relationship of daycare (I’ve loved many of my kids’ daycare teachers and I think that is *because* it’s a much less fraught relationship and lower-stakes because you know a. the kid will graduate from that room, b. there’s a management layer you can talk to if there’s an issue, c. there are defined standards and accountability from other adults). I am happy for my kids to have as many trusted adults in their lives as possible, but the power dynamics in our particular nanny relationship were really uncomfortable for me.
Anon says
Yes, exactly this. I *adore* our daycare teachers – I’m much more fond of all of them than I ever was of our nanny – but there is a distance there that I appreciate so much, and in fact I think the distance may be what has allowed me to grow so fond of them. I don’t know if it’s an introvert thing or what, but I was so uncomfortable with the nanny and I don’t really think she (or I) as individuals were to blame. It was just the whole dynamic that made me so uncomfortable.
NYCer says
Our nanny is basically part of our family at this point, and we celebrate her the same way! She is amazing and we all lover her, and I cannot imagine ignoring her birthday.
This is just the experience of my family. As I said earlier, I do not think there is a right or wrong answer here.
SC says
I believe we did a very small gift plus $100 cash. I bought a small box of chocolates from a local chocolatier and stuck the cash under the ribbon on the bottom of the box. It seemed less awkward than “here’s some cash,” plus the chocolate was something I thought she’d like (she had mentioned a weakness for chocolate several times) but was also consumable.
Anon says
I did a $50 gift card, but probably would have done more if we really liked our nanny.
Nanny birthday gift says
Thanks, all, for the responses!
I totally get why a nanny is not the right choice for everyone. It’s definitely right for us, though – I WFH full time and wanted someone who was “joining our team” because I knew I’d be interacting with her repeatedly over the course of the day. The only thing I don’t love is that I wish it was a bit less expensive! But daycare wouldn’t have worked for me, personally – and I 100% get why it’s the right choice for others.
Momofthree says
We’ve had our nanny now for almost 4 years and her birthday was right before she started with us. We’ve done slightly different things every year.
We typically do a card + cash or gift card (~100-200). Then add in something.
One year we were taking photos for our kids first birthday- they have birthdays close to each other- so we had the photographer take pictures of her with the kids and had the kids decorate a frame (ie throw paint at it).
Another year she mentioned being interested in a particular health guru so we bought her a book about the topic in Spanish.
We also tend to do a raise around her birthday because it corresponds with her work anniversary but also happens to be her birthday.
We haven’t traditionally done cake or food but that’s only because pre-COVID she and her nanny friends would throw parties for each other with the kids so they celebrated that way.
As others have said though, it’s a know your nanny situation.
Anon says
We have the world’s best nanny who is truly a member of our family at this point, so we usually do $200 cash, a small physical gift ($50 or less), a card from the kids, and a birthday treat like donuts or cupcakes. Her first birthday with us was just a few months into her tenure, so we did a $50 gift card and donuts.
Easter party help says
Good Easter crafts for kids ages 2-6? We’re probably going to dye hard boiled eggs with the older ones but wondering if you all had good ideas for other ages. Doing a little easter party with our cousins in our bubble. Maybe an easter egg hunt? Thanks!
Mary Moo Cow says
I remember doing boo-boo bunnies at that age (making a bunny out of a washcloth to put an ice cube in when you had a boo-boo.) Decorating cut out sugar cookies? Bubbles and sidewalk chalk at the egg hunt, if it’s nice outside.
Anon says
Or if you’re not up for cut out sugar cookies, I think Pillsbury still makes some version of slice and bake or break and bake easter themed sugar cookies. If you want to be super fancy you can have the kids add sprinkles.
anon says
Cut eggs out of card stock and decorate with markers/stickers etc.
PregAnon says
Follow-up to my pregnancy & covid vaccine q last week. Thanks to all who responded! I am comfortable waiting until 2nd tri based on my circumstances.
Here’s a wrinkle: my office just sent some staff (including me) letters identifying us as “critical” to be used as justification for an earlier vaccine. To be clear I am not a healthcare worker and I have been working from home this whole time. Office is not requiring us to get the vaccine, but now I feel like I will get questions about when I’m able to schedule it. As I’m still 1st tri, I’m not ready to schedule it and I am not ready to tell my office about my pregnancy.
Any advice on how to deal with these questions? My manager in particular is not known for his subtlety.
TheElms says
Can you say something vague but true? Something like “you’re undergoing medical treatment and need to confer with your doctor about when they think you should get the vaccine.” Assuming your doctor supports waiting until 2nd trimester, then you can truthfully report that you can get it after X date.
Anonymous says
Even that is too much sharing — “My doctor wants to discuss with me when I go in next time. I’ll let you know.”
I wouldn’t want to say “undergoing medical treatment” as it can invite either questions or speculation, neither of which I’d want to encourage.
Anon says
I think it’s helpful to say “my doc wants me to get it [in May/in a few months/once more data is available relating to people with my medical history]” that way your employer knows that you’re planning on getting the vaccine and are delaying based on medical advice. They don’t have to worry it’s going to be a thing to persuade you to get the vaccine. It’s also vague enough that it could be anything, including lots of things that are no big deal.
“My doc wants to discuss with me next time” sounds too much like you’re experiencing vaccine hesitancy.
Anon says
I wouldn’t say undergoing medical treatment – that seems like it would invite a lot of follow up questions/concern. I would be more vague – “this is what my doctor has recommended for me” or something like that.
Anonymous says
I would just “not find an available appointment” until you hit the 2nd trimester. That can’t be many weeks away.
Anon says
I’d probably just say “I’m planning to get it in May [or whatever month].” If they demand to know why you’re not getting it sooner, you can politely deflect “That’s the timing that works for me” or just tell them it’s none of their business.
Anonymous says
This. There’s so much wrapped up in vaccine timing that’s really unacceptable for a supervisor to press on because of potential “invisible” health situations being a factor. Hopefully he has enough sense to just note the date and back off.
Anon says
so I’m in Houston and my (vaccinated) boss knows I have a health condition that would likely allow me to get it (and connections at the hospital). I’m also back in the office and we all have been since September. I’m in my first tri, planning to get it second tri.
He swings by and asks if I’ve gotten it yet in a friendly joking way maybe once a week? It’s so hard not to just spill the beans and explain I’m pregnant. I just sort of shrug and say “not yet! hoping to get scheduled soon!” and that’s enough of an answer. “Or I’m not scheduled yet, but DH got his! Whew!”
This sounds more annoying than it is. I’ve probably been asked 5-10 times about it? But that’s also because we’re in the office and talk about vaccines and such as our small talk right now. I think I’ll likely use “I scheduled my vaccine… because I’m pregnant!” as the way of announcing this time around!
Anonymous says
Just wanted to tell people about this because my husband doesn’t totally get it (he tries) and relatives are weird – I nursed my 20 month old for the last time this morning. I’m ready, but sad since we aren’t having anymore kids! After spending almost 5 years pregnant/nursing I’m sad to close this chapter of life. I can’t believe I’ll never nurse a baby again. It’s weird! But I’m also excited to be able to use all the face creams (retinol!!), get a few new ear piercings, a tattoo, and try CBD products.
Anonymous says
Aww, what a bittersweet milestone. I remember the last nursing session I had with my youngest. I was happy to be done but also loved nursing. Good luck to you and enjoy your body being your own again!
Pogo says
aw, it is so bittersweet. congrats!
Anon says
I love your last sentence of items you now want to do. You can come sit next to me. :)
Anon Lawyerr says
I totally understand. I went through that about a month ago (albeit with my younger kid – 15 months). I was ready but it feels like closing a door in a confusing way.
That said, I have not only been enjoying some CBD projects, I also went to my local dispensary and got some starter edibles, so that was fun.
Anon says
My 3 year old has been wearing Old Navy kid’s masks for months and they were working just fine but suddenly they’re slipping below her nose all the time. Do we need to size up to adult masks? She does have a large head for a child, I think (we can wear the same size hat). Or could the elastic be wearing out? It’s nothing my kid is doing, she’s very good about not touching her mask and she gets super upset when it falls below her nose because she understands it’s supposed to cover her nose.
Anonymous says
I would suspect that the elastic is wearing out. If she needs to size up, try another brand of kids’ or youth masks. I am a full-grown adult and one-size-fits-all adult masks are still too big for my face. I can’t imagine any 3-year-old being able to wear one.
Anon says
it could be stretched out or could have shrunk. can you have your kid try one of your masks? or order a new pack of the old navy ones?
Anon says
I think the elastic is probably wearing out.
anon in Brooklyn says
The elastic is wearing out on our Old Navy masks. The newer ones have adjusters, but I also just knot the old ones.
Anon says
my mother passed away in December 2019 and then covid hit. she was in her mid 60s and my dad obviously has been struggling given how much time he’s spent alone. he has been on the very cautious side of covid. i haven’t been back to my parents’ home since her funeral bc it is flying distance away. we are hoping to go this summer, and my dad just told me that when i go he wants me to look through all my stuff bc he is thinking of selling the house. i am SO SO sad. i always imagined bringing my kids back to this house for years to come. my dad loves the house. he said he doesn’t know if he is having trouble moving on because he is still in the house, and he and my mom almost previously moved to an apartment bc her illness impacted her mobility and he hated all apartments. i think he should wait longer to see how he feels as the world opens up. i know my feelings are somewhat selfish, but the thought of only going back there one more time is beyond devastating to me. his grief is definitely more important than mine, but i sort of feel like my grief has been on hold, since i haven’t been back. also, going there this summer is supposed to be a vacation of some sort, and now it sounds emotionally exhausting
Anon says
I’m so sorry, that does sound really hard. Please be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve both your mom and your house. The fact that your dad is grieving too does not take away from your own grief. I have very little attachment to my childhood home but feel the same way about a family vacation home I went to every summer as a child. My family almost sold it about 10 years back to pay for my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s care and I was devastated when I thought we would have to sell it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to point out to your dad that it might make sense to wait a while before selling it, but if he’s bound and determined to sell you probably have to accept it.
OP says
fortunately my dad does not need the money. and i honestly think selling it might make it harder for him to move on because he seriously hated every single apartment my parents looked at, and loved the house. i also think his idea of what apartment living is like is unrealistic. he still works part time, wednesday, thurs and friday, but says he can go from Friday evening through Tuesday without seeing another human – I live in apartment and honestly could do the same. I mean I see my spouse and kids, but that is because they live with me, not bc i see them in the hall. the last time he lived in apartment was 30 years ago in NYC, and I don’t think he understands how different an apartment in suburbia might be. another complicating factor is i will have to go through everything with my sister, who is going through fertility treatments (though hopefully she’ll be pregnant by then, though her baseline is to be very emotional, so I can only imagine her pregnant) and who i don’t have the best relationship with. traveling with two toddlers is already stressful, what started out sounding like a manageable level of stress, is now making me wish i could just stay home
Clementine says
Oh wow. That’s all just a lot.
Gently, I think maybe this is something that needs to be two trips – one with kids to enjoy Grandpa and have fun and one to do this emotionally draining work that it sounds like needs to be done.
Is this inconvenient and dang near impossible? Yes. What if I framed it as allowing your self and your kiddo(s) an opportunity to make fun memories and then a separate time to go through and help process your grief more deeply and clean out the house – two separate activities. Maybe take 2 weeks and do week 1 with kids, week 2 without?
anonymommy says
Yes this. And ask for some help during the dedicated clean-out time. That way, you and your immediate family can make the tough, emotional choices, and then rely on others to quickly move, donate, trash, post-for-resale, etc. Get a dumpster and pre-arrange a donation place to do a pickup. You don’t want stuff sitting around to double-guess.
Anonymous says
+1 I like this advice.
Anon says
I’m sorry, what a difficult situation. Can you start making a list of what’s important to you to keep over the next few months? You can still go through your things, but you’ll have a well-considered list of what you want to ship to yourself and not have to make so many decisions then.
I wasn’t able to go through my things at my childhood home before it go sold, so I had to make a list for a company I engaged to gather select items. I still have moments of “but why didn’t I have xyz saved” and it brings me some peace to remember that I had time, made my list, and I really don’t need/want/have room for everything that pops into my mind.
anonymommy says
So, so very sorry for your loss. If you are in your 20s or 30s, please check out the dinner party dot org. It was so helpful for me when I lost a parent. (Even if you’re not in the target age demo, it still has a lot of great resources!) People cope very differently. My mom has barely touched a thing of my dad’s. My uncle cleaned out most of my aunt’s stuff ASAP. (Men also tend to re-partner at higher, and faster, rates.) You aren’t being selfish, and your feelings are not less “important,” even if he gets to decide where he lives. I would really advise you, though, that if your dad is going to move/sell, and he is ok with you taking things, take more than you think you’d want. Having now talked grief with many people because of my own loss, it is fairly common for adult children to politely take only a few things, and then the spouse gets rid of a lot that the children would have actually wanted. Think of favorite holiday decor, hobbies, perfume, CDs., etc. Can you transplant your favorite plant? Take a video and pictures BEFORE packing everything up. And prepare that this will be exhausting. Cleaning out a parent’s home is exhausting. Adding grief to that makes it horrible. Virtual hugs.
Anonymous says
As someone who has been through a version of this myself and with my spouse, I’d advise not taking too much stuff. My parents lost their home shortly after I graduated from college and moved out, and I had them ship me several boxes of childhood keepsakes. I ended up having to go through and pare down that stuff several times over the years, and each time it was painful. I wish I’d just ripped off the band-aid and parted with all of the stuff to begin with. When his parents split and sold their house, my husband took a lot of furniture. We now have two rooms full of ugly, rickety antique furniture that is largely useless. We can’t get rid of it because it’s all family heirlooms and my husband has a sentimental attachment to it, but it’s not functional either. This means that two rooms of our small house are just museums to his childhood instead of functional space.
TLDR: Just take a few things that are really special and let the rest go.
Anon says
so, i might have the opposite problem. DH and I will hopefully soon be buying our first home after years of apartment living and have almost no furniture. my parents actually have really nice furniture, beautiful serving dishes bc they used to love to host and while most men could care less, my dad is actually into dishes, but no longer uses most of them. i also (this is embarrassing) still have the china we got for our wedding, which in retrospect we should’ve just returned, at their home bc we never thought we’d end up moving so far away. there is actually a lot of useful stuff we could take
anonymommy says
Childhood keepsakes are different than parental keepsakes. If you’re giving advice to someone who is grieving, please don’t compare moving, divorce, or simply growing up.
Anon at 1:42 says
So we have dealt with loss of a parent as well. What happened there was that holding on to a lot of stuff was just a way to avoid moving on from the loss of the parent. Letting go of the stuff was part of the process of letting the parent go. YMMV.
anonymommy says
Yes, that makes sense. It’s a balance for sure.
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry for your loss. The usual advice to widowed persons is not to make any major life decisions for one year, and your dad is well past that mark. It’s time to let him move on in the way that is most helpful to him.
There is a natural tendency for adult children to want their parents to remain the same people they’ve always been and to maintain the family home as a place to return for vacations and holidays. This is unrealistic and can get in the way of enjoying a real, evolving adult relationship with the parent(s). You aren’t the same person you were when you left home, and neither is your dad. You’ve both had a lot of life experiences and evolved as people. Don’t add a layer of guilt to your dad’s decision to move on with his life. Mourn your loss together and forge a new relationship with the person he has become. Build new traditions together.
OP says
totally agree with this. and agree on the one year front, i guess i just feel like because of covid, the one year mark should be extended a bit. and just knowing my dad, i think he is going to detest apartment living. maybe i’ll suggest he get an airbnb or a short term rental while keeping the house to try it out.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I fully agree with you that Covid shouldn’t really count towards the one year. In fact I would almost say a better benchmark is “one year post Covid” because the re-entry to normal life is going to be so challenging in many ways.
Anonymous says
But it’s up to him. And he think it is time.
Anonymous says
Yup, I agree it’s up to him. I was responding to the anonymous who said “The usual advice to widowed persons is not to make any major life decisions for one year, and your dad is well past that mark.” I agree with OP that one year of Covid time is not at all equivalent to one year of normal and he’s not “well past” the one year mark as far as the grieving process goes. Doesn’t change the fact her dad can do whatever he wants though.
Anonymous says
I’ve recently been through this. Can you go alone sooner? The focus here needs to be on your dad. It’s a massive burden on him to have to clear out the entire house and my father hated living alone in the house he shared with my mom. It was really really hard for me to go through my things and my mom’s things and my sisters things (she couldn’t travel at the time) and the general house things but it was absolutely essential work and we are all so much happier with him in a new townhouse in a 55+ community.
OP says
so i’m not vaccinated yet. in a non-covid world i would’ve been to his home many times before now. he has been to visit us since he is now double vaccinated, but at this point, given how close i am to receiving it, i am not comfortable flying right now before i am vaccinated. my dad also doesn’t want me to fly before i’m vaccinated. he has already gone through my mom’s clothes on his own, but today on the phone was the first time he mentioned potentially selling the home. if he wanted to sell asap, i guess i could/would rush there sooner, but it seems to be a new idea in his head. as does leasing a convertible.
i also totally realize this should be about him and not about me – but my feelings aside and knowing what i know about my dad and his reasons for wanting an apartment, i’m not sure he is going to be happy in one. he is going to hate not having easy access to outdoors (my parents recently re-did their backyard, though maybe he can find one with a large balcony, and as i mentioned above, his idea of apartment living, especially if he starts out with renting, which he thinks is what he is going to do, is unrealistic. the last time he lived in an apartment was in NYC and my parents owned it and lived there for 10 years and were very friendly with many of the people in the building. i’ve been renting in the same building for almost 5 years and don’t know many people who live here. i totally get that he is lonely and don’t want him to feel that way and i know he is an adult who can make his own decisions, but knowing him and what he likes/doesn’t like, i don’t know that moving to an apartment is just going to trade one problem for another – but i guess that is his mistake to make
Anon says
Moving to a 55+ community (SFH, apartment, townhouse, etc.) might be the answer. They have a lot of social events planned in part to make the community active.
NYCer says
+1. I don’t know where you or your father live, but my best friend’s (youthful, fun loving) parents moved into a 55+ community, and they absolutely love it. They are in South Carolina, but I am sure something similar exists in your area. They have a golf course and a clubhouse and lots of options for socializing. My friend (and her husband and two young kids) always seem to have fun when they go visit her parents, despite it not being the home she grew up in.
Anonymous says
Ok. So go once you are vaccinated and talk to him about townhouses and 55+ communities.
Anon says
A 55+ community may have potential, if he’s looking for socialization? He could perhaps find one with nice grounds and some community activities. I’m very sorry, OP, this all seems very hard. Of course it is ultimately your dad’s decision, but it’s fair to offer your opinion/advice unless it’s clear he’s not interested in hearing it.
Daycare ugh says
We are switching daycares because we need longer hours and ever since I gave our required 6 weeks notice, the director has been very weird and cold. It’s fine and is temporary but I’m so annoyed by it. They probably are still being nice to my kids, right?
Anon says
If you want to put a positive spin on it – they must like having your kid! So hopefully yes still being nice!
EDAnon says
Even if the director is being weird, I am sure the teachers are being nice. We left a daycare and the director wasn’t thrilled but the teachers gave my sin cards and pictures. They were great!
We also sent donuts and a thank you note on his last day.