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I love pieces that do double (or even triple) duty, and Gap’s Maternity Overlay 2-Piece Nursing Dress delivers — you can wear it when expecting and afterwards while nursing/pumping.
But the best thing about this dress is that the top and bottom pieces are separate so you can pair them with items you already own for a whole new look! Style-wise, it would work for a more casual office, working from home, or just running errands. I’d pair it with white sneakers for early spring and bright sandals for a pop of color as the weather gets warmer.
While I’m a huge fan of black, it would be great to see this dress in more colors (and maybe some subtle patterns).
The dress is on sale for $37 (marked down from $69.95) and available in XS–XXL.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
AnonATL says
Since many of you were so great at this in the fall, help me find a dress for family photos! We are planning to do them in early June in a local park. My son will be about 10 months and probably wear a collared shirt and shorts. Similar for husband.
I’m thinking greens and blues for our color palette. I’d like to wear a comfortable sundress and prefer it be above the knee. I’m about an 8/10 hourglass or slight pear. Budget up to $100.
Anonymous says
This one from Boden altho maybe not with green: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/boden-effie-jersey-dress/5563988
Anon says
apologies for the threadjack, but i was going to post the same thing. i’m looking for a white or light blue dress (not super form fitting and with sleeves) or a light blue shirt. my girls are wearing pale pink dresses with a few tiny blue flowers and DH will wear a light blue and white shirt. why is it always hardest to find the outfit for mom???
OP- do you want pattern or solid?
AnonATL says
Patterns are ok as long as they aren’t super loud. I don’t know how well that would photograph.
Btw I’ve seen some cute shirtdresses on nordstrom. Boden had some too for a slightly higher price. Lots of preppy ginghams and stripes for easter now.
AnonATL says
Oh just discovered Dillards has a ton of sleeved dresses too.
Anon says
Talbot’s has some cute spring dresses. I haven’t looked at their stuff since I switched to working in a casual industry 6 years ago since I thought of it more as workwear, but I was pleasantly surprised when I looked the other day, and ended up ordering a bunch of stuff for a spring wardrobe refresh. Lots of blues and greens. Their dresses are $100-150 or so, so would be stretching the budget a little.
Anon says
I would check out Rent the Runway.
(But maybe you would need a back up in case you got it and didn’t like it).
anonamama says
Spring photos and clothing are not my strength – but in doing some recent online browsing, J. Crew and the outlet have great dress options right now. I am loving the Anastasia shirt dress at Boden and Tencel midi shirt dress at Banana Republic. And everything in Dillard’s Antonio Melani collection is perfection (long sleeve options, but a little pricier). Also, I just got this top yesterday and it is gorgeous, comfy and so springy I can’t handle it- Banana Republic eyelet top – that would look great in photos if you go top/bottom route.
Anon says
What is reasonable to expect of my preschooler in getting ready for school each morning? It feels like it takes forever between picking out clothes, potty, getting dressed, dawdling, often a meltdown in there to over clothes or who knows what, etc. DD has some delays so I know we probably overly defer to her sometimes so I’m not sure what’s normal. It seems like she should be able to potty and get mostly dressed solo.
Anonymous says
How old? Even without delays, I don’t think it’s realistic to expect a kid under 4 or 5 to do anything without close monitoring and prompting to prevent dawdling.
anon says
How old is she? There’s a big difference between newly 3 and getting ready for kindergarten.
My almost 5 yo can get herself dressed and potty, but in many instances needs supervision to get it done without devolving into play. Lots of dawdling. If we’re in a hurry we’ll just stuff her in clothes.
anon op says
She’s 4. This is helpful, thank you. Just tired of having a million little battles before we’re even out the door in the morning.
anon says
If it helps, the best thing I ever did was clean every item out of my kids’ room that wasn’t acceptable. Anything in their dresser or closet is fine to wear.
My youngest takes great pleasure in picking out her outfit every morning. Getting her dressed is easy.
My oldest is more challenging, so I ended up pre-sorting outfits into gallon sized ziplock bags. She would just grab one in the morning and that was the outfit. No decisions needed.
I also keep a supply of new clothes in a tucked away spot. On particularly grumpy days, I’ll pull out a new item of clothing to ease the getting dressed process.
Anonymous says
My kid (4) is also VERY particular about her clothing and has been since she was a baby. We have many colors of the few approved items, and we also don’t do pajamas. She goes to bed in her clothes. We had a looooong battle over her hatred of socks and her daycare’s rule requiring socks. We finally solved this by paying way too much money for fancy seamless socks, and then later some special knee high socks that she loves and is willing to wear. We try as much as possible to explain the rules and then give her choices that fit within those rules. Still doesn’t eliminate all the morning meltdowns, but now it’s more focused on the jelly on her toast looking different rather than her socks.
Anon says
My 3.5YO goes to preschool 3 mornings a week. We get her up at 8, usually have to carry her to the potty (“my legs too tired” – she is not a morning person). We give her 5 minutes to sit there and go and ponder existential toddler things, sometimes with her tablet, usually not. Then we brush teeth and supervise her putting on her clothes (which she gets to pick with some parameters (e.g., it’s cold today, you have to pick a long-sleeve shirt)). She demands to do her clothes herself, which is painful for me to watch because I could do it so much faster, but we get through it with much gnashing of teeth in 10 minutes (and 10 repetitions of “tag goes in the back”). DH is getting dressed during this time. Then we rush her downstairs, I wet and detangle her ringlets while DH puts on her shoes and socks and does our health questionnaire. I pack her snack and waterbottle in her backpack and out the door they go. 30 minutes start to finish (for what should take 15 minutes max for a grown adult), no breakfast because she isn’t really hungry in the morning and she gets snack there (plus lunch 3 hours later when she comes home).
Cb says
My 3.5 year old would never leave the house if he had to get dressed on his own. We used to get him dressed downstairs after breakfast but switched the routine and it’s made a big difference. I go and get him, he goes for a potty, and then we all cuddle in bed for a few minutes. Then I get him dressed in our bed, while my husband gets dressed. I think he’s too sleepy to object too much. Then we go downstairs, and they have breakfast and leave.
Anonymous says
I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect anything to be done solo.
NYCer says
I pretty much agree with this. My first grader is finally able to get herself mostly dressed and ready in the morning, but even last year in K, we helped a lot. She wars a uniform to school, which does eliminate the picking out clothes aspect.
Katala says
Agree. Mine are 4 and 5 and will physically put on their own clothes (neither cares what they wear much, so we pick and usually bring the outfits downstairs where they’re eating breakfast to eliminate a sloooowww trek up the stairs). But they need reminders, timers, deadlines, more reminders, help finding the sleeve, help fixing a sock that “hurts”, more prompting and sometimes threats of losing screen time. I’m sure it didn’t help being home for much of the last year, since they didn’t get as much practice getting ready to actually get out the door. But yeah, at 4 they need lots of direction and prompting.
AwayEmily says
This may not be right for your family, but on school days, we do 15 minutes of TV in the AM where we get both kids dressed.
It is a key part of our larger morning strategy of “routine routine routine.” The kids (3 and 5) come downstairs, read a book on the couch with one parent while the other parent makes breakfast. Then we all sit down at the table for breakfast. Once they are done, they play on their own while we adults shower/clean kitchen/etc. I turn on the TV at 7:35, get them both dressed (in clothes I picked out), and at 7:50 the TV goes off and everyone gets in the car. It is literally the exact same thing every weekday morning.
So, to answer your question — my kids do NOT get dressed on their own. That being said, the 5yo is capable of getting dressed by herself (on the weekends she picks out her own clothes and gets dressed, and she also does her own pajamas). But I decided that for my own mental health, I wanted the mornings to be as easy as possible, and having TV as part of that routine is very helpful for that.
Waffles says
We have TV as part of our get-ready routine, too. Basically, she knows that if she doesn’t get ready fast enough, she won’t get to watch an episode of her favorite TV show. I get ready while she watches it.
ifiknew says
So many of awayemily posts are mom goals for me!! My kids are only 3 and 1 (2 more months for 4 and 2!) but this seems a lot more organized than my life right now.
AwayEmily says
What a nice thing to say! Seriously, this made my day.
Anon says
My husband has always done the mornings, but one of the big routines we had was I would pick out clothes the night before and lay them out. When the kids started having Opinions, they were welcome to discuss them with me the night before when I was laying them out, but in the morning what was out was what they wore, no ifs ands or butts about it. (My husband is better about being no-nonsense about this kind of stuff than I am, I probably would cave every now and then, making the whole thing a disaster : )
Pre-COVID we used to not watch TV on the weekdays. Now they watch TV in the morning before they start school if they get ready in time to do so, which is a big motivator if you are open to it.
Anon says
Ha, I wrote butts but I meant… buts.
anon says
My just-turned-4yos go pee and get themselves dressed every morning (and have been doing so since at least 3.5), but yes, there is tons of dawdling and not-infrequent meltdowns when the one true pair of socks is dirty. At the moment it’s not a big deal because we don’t leave the house and there’s plenty of time (they get up at 7:45, virtual preK starts at 9:15), but it will be trickier in the fall when we have to get out of the house in time to meet the bus, I’m sure.
We do the same as anon at 9:16 and have only seasonally-appropriate clothes accessible to them. We also make sure that everything is turned right side out before it gets put away, to eliminate that tantrum (because while they can turn things rightside out themselves, they rarely want to in the morning). Also, this is totally not a good strategy for some families, but we’ve decided that anyone who gets themselves downstairs by x time without copious reminders can have a chocolate chip with breakfast. The external motivation (even for something that tiny) works very well for my kids who would otherwise happily just dress their stuffed animals for hours instead of themselves.
Anon says
Wow, I’m amazed and impressed that your kids are that motivated by a single chocolate chip. We don’t use food as a motivator much but when we do my kid won’t accept anything less than a warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.
Anon says
The single chocolate chip struck me as funny too. I don’t think that would cut it for mine.
anon says
Haha, yeah, I know, I’m amazed that it works since it’s not like they never get real quantities of chocolate or desserts, but I’ll take it!
Anon says
We do everything for my 3 year old, except she gets to pick out her clothes (the night before). She could probably have more independent skills in dressing if we worked on them, but we’re in no hurry. I know she’ll learn these things eventually and we’re savoring the (comparatively) easy mornings while we still have them. We also use some TV, usually one Daniel Tiger while we brush her hair and apply sunscreen. If your kid is insisting on doing everything for herself, you could use a little TV as a reward for doing everything quickly.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Not sure which side of 4 she’s on but at just turned 4, we were still dressing my older kid for the most part ourselves in the mornings. Now, he’s a month shy of 5 and we have him dress himself. Believe me, the dawdling is still there and we have to constantly set timers and ask him to get ready but I want him to keep practicing putting his own clothes on. He goes potty right before clothes. We do TV in the mornings too and if he’s dawdling too much, TV goes off, which seems to be a good motivator. For now, he doesn’t really care about what he wears so we pick out the clothes.
Spirograph says
In my experience, picking clothes out the night before pays huge dividends. They can deliberate as much as they want in the evening, it just cuts into their story time. And if the clothes are just laid out in the morning, they’ll usually get dressed without much prodding.
We had laminated morning routines (and nighttime routines, which included picking out clothes) for a while that listed the steps to getting ready. This worked really well for my daughter when she was 4-5; she delighted in checking what was next on the list and doing everything herself. The boys… not so much.
I often help my 4 year old son get dressed, and I really shouldn’t. He’s perfectly capable of doing it himself, but it’s much, much faster (and he’s much happier) if I help him. He’ll bring his clothes downstairs and put pjs away, but the actual off-and-on gets an assist from me.
Anon says
+1. Pick out the outfit together the night before, and lay it out in the order she would put it on. Make a schedule with pictures to follow it each morning (for us it was potty, have breakfast, get dressed, make bed, play if time, potty again, go to school).
My son was doing all this independently by about 4.25-4.5, though he probably wouldn’t have earlier than that. For us, me being in the room and cajoling him made it worse. When I sent him to do it himself, it still sometimes took a while, but I wasn’t standing there getting annoyed so it didn’t bother me (make sure to leave plenty of time! Put the most time-consuming parts at the beginning of the routine)
EB0220 says
Not sure how old she is, but I think my kids started getting themselves dressed and ready about 4. It did take some reminding and prodding at first. For a while we would pick out clothes the night before which helped skip some of the indecision. Also we found it helps to avoid going up/down stairs if you have a 2 story place. My kids get dressed, potty, brush teeth and put on socks upstairs. Then they come down and eat breakfast, put on shoes/coats/masks, etc. The more they have to change spaces the more likely they’ll get distracted. We also let them watch TV if they are 100% ready and have time left before they leave. This works great as an incentive to move quickly and it’s usually only 15 min of TV.
DLC says
With our four year old, we are of the “sleep in your clothes for the next day” school. I find that it saves us a lot of time and stress in the morning. Once in a while he will change his clothes in the morning on his own if the whim strikes. In the morning I expect him to get up and take off his pull up by himself and he usually does this. Once in a while I have to remind him, but I won’t do it for him. I feel like what works for us is to help him set things up and then leave him alone. Like at night, I say, “tell me when you are dressed and I will come read bedtime stories.” Then I leave the room. When it’s time to leave, if he is dawdling, I go sit in the car and wait for him because I know he can put on his shoes and socks and coat by himself. It is rough on the days when he’s not feeling it, but we push through. And yes, there are also days once in a while when I just carry him to the car and throw the shoes in after him. It does also help that his big sister hates being late for school so she will sometimes help him. But I agree with the above 10:16 poster that at our house leaving them alone is the best for everyone’s mental state.
Anonymous says
While I know that my 3.5 year old is capable of dressing himself (because he frequently changes his outfit during “nap time”) it is not something we do in the morning.
A few months ago, when i was at my wits end with morning tantrums…. we instituted a reward system where he could earn a sticker every day – after 30 days of teeth, face, hands and getting dressed in 10 mins and you get a “prize”. I set a timer on my phone so the alarm would go off. He didn’t know what the prize was in advance*. It took nearly 3 months to get 30 stickers (we were more slack during xmas holidays)….. but the habit forming process has stuck. This is fully supervised 10 mins – walk upstairs / hygiene / assisted getting dressed in clothes mom generally picked out (his preschool has a uniform so all M-Th school clothes are in one drawer). But it is only 10 mins. Spiderman has only been confiscated for “not showing us that you are a big boy who can go fast” only once.
(*Originally it was going to be get to go to the store and pick your own toy but then cases exploded again and mom ordered a Spiderman – money very well spent).
If someone could tell me how to get him to eat breakfast in less than 30 mins that would be great. My solution so far has been to not bother prepping his school snacks / my lunch etc. until the AM, so i do that while i watch him painfully slowly eat an enormous breakfast.
SC says
My son is in kindergarten and is about to turn 6. He is capable of getting himself dressed, as in he is physically able to put clothes on his body. Most days, he lacks the executive function to go through his morning routine by himself, and we have to remind him to stay on task. Many days, one of us physically puts clothes on him, even though he is capable of doing it.
For now, we’ve reduced morning and evening routine battles with a star chart. The chart sets out the elements of the routine, and he gets a star for completing them without a battle. Stars add up to rewards–right now, 15 stars=15 minutes of staying up late on Friday and/or Saturday nights. I think the combination of seeing the parts of the routine and some extrinsic motivation helps.
anon says
At that age our kids wore their clothes to bed – no pajamas :)
anon says
Today, my newly three-year-old old got up at 6:15 on her own, went potty, brushed her teeth, got fully dressed (grabbed a dress out of her closet but broke the hanger pulling it down), came into our bedroom, opened the shades, and said “Get up mama, it’s morning time!” She grabbed my glasses off of the nightstand, tried to put them on my face, and yelled “The train is leaving the station! It’s time for you to get up and go potty!” My husband and I are apparently the ones who need monitoring to prevent dawdling.
Anon says
Advice on 3 year olds and hitting? I feel like I’ve read every parenting book about little kids and we’re gradually getting better at avoiding tantrums by managing triggers and diffusing the tantrums in their early stages with humor, naming emotions, etc. But we can’t diffuse all of them and when we don’t they always escalate to hitting. Time outs seem to do nothing, she thinks it’s hilarious to be put in time out and just rolls around on the floor laughing. The Spirited Child book says to wrap them in a bear hug and restrain them from hitting until they calm down but that does not work with my child – she’s very affectionate when she’s happy, but any physical touch when she’s mad enrages her (and I get it, honestly – I don’t like to be wrapped up in a hug when I’m mad either). The easiest way to end tantrums is to just leave the room and ignore her, but I don’t know how to mesh that with the need to do something about the hitting problem.
Anon says
Hitting you? If you leave the room and therefore she can’t hit you and she also calms down, that seems like a winning strategy. Or hitting others, in which case you’d need to stay to protect them?
I don’t think you need to hug her, but you should catch and restrain her arms when you are near – “I hear you’re mad, but I won’t let you hit me.” Time outs seem useless and counterproductive to me, also, so we don’t use them. If you can walk away safely and her tantrum dies out, that seems best right now. You can let her know “You are so mad, I will give you some space. I will be right in X room if you need me.”
Anonymous says
After trying all the Janet Lansbury type reactions and a lot of other things, the only thing that actually stopped hitting with my then-3.5 year old who was hitting at home and getting sent home from school was extremely long time outs, like 45-60 min. (In his room with his stuffed animals and stuff but no other toys were in his room at that time). We did that a couple times for hitting at home and if he got sent home from school for hitting, spent 45 min in his room then had to play by himself with extremely minimal adult interaction since we were having to keep working. That finally stopped the daily hitting and it worked for a year or so until little brother started to be more aggravating, but by then we could talk it out more effectively.
Anonymous says
Editing to add: the comments below made me think a little more – we are very aware of removing connection time as a consequence and these long time outs were a total last resort that only had to happen a few times. These days (age 5-6) we put kiddo in his room if he is unable to “keep his body safe” around others (hitting, getting up in people’s faces, etc), but allow him to come out as soon as he thinks he can keep himself and others safe. At this point it’s usually just a few minutes and he can calm down enough to rejoin.
Anon says
my soon to be three year old twins each have stuffed animals in bed. they each have the same sheep and bunny. Then twin A has a large bear, small bear and duck. Twin B has a moose, elephant, small bear and crab (yes i realize this is a a lot). Twin A has suddenly noticed (and by noticed, i mean has had meltdowns, insisted on sleeping with an elephant figurine, which then lead to waking up in the middle of the night bc could not locate the small figurine in bed) that Twin B has a moose and elephant, but he does not. They’ve been sleeping with these stuffies for almost two years at this point. I could very easily go and buy Twin A the same elephant. i know they cannot always have the exact same things in life and am i setting myself up for disaster by doing this now or do i teach them this lesson later when they are a bit older and is unrelated to sleep? thoughts? words of wisdom from you experts out there?
Anonymous says
How long have the elephant meltdowns been happening?
OP says
48 hours. it had been about the elephant. this morning the moose was mentioned. as you can see, not everything they have in their beds is the exact same, so it is funny to me that this is what the issue is
Anonymous says
Oh no then I’d just carry on with ignoring it.
AwayEmily says
I think your instinct is right to not make it the “same.” Whenever we have arguments over fairness/kids wanting the same stuff, I take the advice of various sibling/parenting books and try to get them to stop comparing and look inward. So, in this case I would say something like “wow, it sounds like you’re not happy with your bed right now. What would make a perfect, cozy bed for YOU?” He’ll probably immediately say “an elephant like twin B’s!” so you will have to push him towards thinking of Twin-A-specific things (“You seem to really like your duck…what if we put in a little blanket for your duck so you could tuck her in at night?”). This isn’t a magic solution to get him to stop crying — he will probably still want an elephant, and you will need to commiserate with him and accept those feelings — but basically you are trying to get him stop seeing himself in comparison to his brother and start thinking about what HE wants.
Redux says
This is great advice! We also have this cheesy mantra that I’m sure I picked up from a parenting book: We don’t always get the same, but we always get what we need. I find it helps flip my kid out of the comparison script and more focused on his own needs (though my experience has been the same as AwayEmily that usually they will say, ok, then I “need” whatever sibling has!– but this has gotten better with time!).
lunchbox recs? says
Any favorite lunch boxes for elementary school? We have a bento box insert but my kindergartners lunchbox itself has fallen apart! I’m probably overthinking this but google is giving me too many options.
anon says
I like the PBK one that has two compartments, one for lunch and one for snack.
Anon says
I like our Planet Box. I like that it’s all stainless, the different compartments, and how you can throw it in a dishwasher.
CCLA says
Love planetboxes, pretty sure we found out about them here. We have several rovers for our preschoolers (2 for each kid so you can run in the dishwasher overnight and still pack lunch for the next day). Some are two years old and they look brand new.
Mary Moo Cow says
My kindergartner used a planetbox for a few weeks, then requested hot food, decided she didn’t like wow butter, etc. I now use a Cat & Jack insulated lunch box with Rubbermaid Lunchblox and Thermos Funtainers for hot foods (leftovers, a hot pretzel, etc.) It is so many more containers than a Planetbox, but she’s happier.
AnotherAnon says
Update: twins are still in NICU, but feeding on their own and doing great. They are super sweet. Just waiting on paperwork. Question: once twins are a year old, can they sleep together? Is this a terrible idea? We have separate bassinets for them when they come home, just thinking way way ahead. May not even be necessary: family has been contacted and will hopefully be able to do kinship. If you have twin tips, or preemie tips, I’m all ears!
Anonymous says
Do you not have enough to deal with? Focus on today, tomorrow, and this month.
Anon says
sleep together like in the same crib? no, that is not safe. some people have them in the same crib before they can roll, but once they can move, they cannot sleep in same crib. if you need more info on gear and other twin tips, Lucies List has a good multiples section
Anon says
I’m a preemie twin mom (now 10 months). I guess you could switch to sharing a crib at a year (they’re less likely to smother each other then) but I wouldn’t. I think it would be more disruptive than helpful, but I have seen pictures of twins who love bed sharing with each other.
My tip would be keep them on the NICU schedule (mine ate at 2,5,8, and 11) and try to keep them on the same schedule.
Anon says
Oh! And since (I think) you’re fostering, I don’t think the state would allow crib sharing after 1. I think they’d look for two cribs on home visits (everything dependent on locality, of course)
anon says
Agree 100% with the advice to keep them on the 3-hour NICU feeding schedule! Around 6 weeks we started going to 4 hours at night, but we kept 3-hour daytime schedule basically until they were eating solids.
For bedsharing, mine shared a crib until 4 months but then we moved them because they would wake each other up. I can’t imagine that it would have worked to have them share a crib at a year (and agree that foster rules probably prevent it), but I know people for whom it works.
Anonymous says
I am a twin. When we first came home from hospital, my parents (based on wisdom in the 80s) had has in the same bassinet for a couple weeks – which is adorable in the pics. (We did not spend any time in NICU / no major health issues). When that became cramped we each had a bassinet and i think we shared a crib occasionally. BUT this was when we were tiny / swaddled. At one, i would imagine that twins would get up to hijinks if left in the same crib.
More recently, i had friends that co-slept their babies when tiny. One twin wouldn’t sleep in his/her own room but when they moved them back to the same room they slept way better (though in separate cribs at that point).
Good luck.
AnonATL says
Best wishes for the babies and a speedy release from the NICU!
Not a twin mom or a preemie mom, so no advice there, BUT sleep needs for babies change so rapidly and randomly when they are young it’s a bit futile to plan for it now. I totally understand wanting to get everything set up and feel prepared, but it might change. You could set goals like in their nursery by X months instead of your room, reduce night feedings to once by x age (depends on pediatrician), etc. Once they are home and a few weeks old you’ll get a feel for what works best. For newborn sleep, find a swaddle they like, use a Hatch or other noise machine, and then just try to get them to sleep as much in the safest way possible.
I agree with others that sharing a crib at 1 will probably not work. They’ll be all over each other. Before even 6 months, my son was squirming all around his crib throughout the night.
Realist says
Not a twin tip, or preemie tip, but a mom tip. How are you meeting other moms right now? You should start building your mom support network because you need support just as much as those twins. I highly encourage you to sign up for a class, or start a facebook group, or do whatever is done in your local area to meet moms with babies within 3ish months of yours. And meet moms of twins, as I am sure that is helpful too. You need a little group with you that is going through this huge transition at the same time you are.
And you really don’t have to worry about a year from now. If you are a planner, take a deep breath, because babies are known to throw plans out the window. You just need to get to know these two humans. In a year, you will know what you should do for their sleeping arrangement, I promise. Maybe not in a lightning bolt moment, but as their mom, one year from now your mom instincts are going to say “hmm . . . I think these twins need to be sleeping like this for now.” And that might change two weeks later after you think you got it settled, but as mom you will just know what to do and when it is time to change it up. It took months to grow these babies and have them arrive in the world. It is going to take you months to develop your new identity as mom, so you really don’t have to know what a year from now looks like.
Anonymous says
This poster has an older kid, she’s not a new mom.
Realist says
Yes, I have an elementary age child. I still care for new moms and can remember what it was like to be one. I find it odd that you felt the need to post this comment.
Anonymous says
Your comment just read like you thought she was a brand new mom, so I was just pointing it out. “How are you meeting other moms now” is kind of a weird thing to say to someone who has been a mom for years and presumably already knows a lot of other moms. And honestly even if she weren’t already a mom, you’re putting a lot of pressure on her by telling her she has to find her mom tribe in the first few months of premie twins. I had a full term singleton and connecting with new people was not really something I had the bandwidth for until my kid was consistently sleeping through the night and I’m sure newborn life is much, much more crazy with twins. I leaned on my family and existing friends (some of whom were childless but were still supportive friends) during the newborn period. And it’s so much easier to meet people when your kid(s) are older and you can take them to the playground, library storytime, they go to a daycare, etc. You have a long time to build your village, it doesn’t have to happen overnight. Plus with Covid, everything is virtual now and starting at a screen filled with strangers would just stress me out and give me anxiety – I would so much rather talk to my mom or a friend on the phone even if they don’t live close by or have a newborn.
Anon says
I think Anonymous at 3:50 means that the OP (AnotherAnon) has older kids, if I vaguely remember her situation right.
Anonymous says
Oh yeah, 100% I meant that the OP has an older kid and is not a first time mom. I was not trying to call you out and say you can’t offer advice because you don’t have a newborn. I see how my comment could be read that way though, sorry for that.
Anonymous says
Ours slept together from the start. It was recommended to me by the pediatric resident at the hospital. The public health recommendations on this vary. The NHS in the UK recommends it -https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/newborn-twins-and-multiples/twins-and-sleep/
I was comfortable with them in the same crib, swaddled, in our room. Around 8 months we moved them to their own cribs (next to each other) in their own room. I’ve heard from other twin moms that babies with a lot of NICU time sometimes prefer to sleep alone.
Anon says
I got laid off from my corporate job on Friday. I ultimately feel relieved, as it was a toxic and sexist place, but I haven’t been in this position since having kids. I have a pretty decent severance and won’t officially be off payroll/benefits until the end of May. I’d been job hunting aggressively in my last month of employment, too, and had been in the running for two different jobs that didn’t pan out. When I told a group of friends (all working moms) they were like, great! you can save on childcare and spend more time with your kids. That wasn’t my plan. Should it be??? In my mind, my first priority is to take a 1-1.5 week breather, then get back on the aggressive job hunt. Maybe we have shorter daycare days during that period, but if I’m out of work for longer than a month or two, we’ll need to cut back. Does this sound like a realistic plan or am I in for more comments like this??!
CHL says
Glad to hear that you’re at peace with the situation! Um, it sounds like your friends would prefer to be SAHM and that’s okay but if that happened to me, I would do exactly what you’re describing – keep/ maybe slightly pull back on childcare, rest/rejuvenate and focus on your job hunt. Nothing saps my happiness and mental energy like having to be with small children most of the time. If you can afford not to, I would get your “work” done during that time so you can enjoy them when they’re home.
Anon says
agree with this. there is no right/wrong though. everyone is different
Nan says
I think there’s a benefit to keeping the kids in child care for sure! For one thing, those spots can be competitive and you may not get them back. For another, taking kids in and out of child care is very stressful on everyone (as we all learned this last year…). Personally if this happened I would probably keep them in for awhile but pick them up early and/or pull them out some days to spend more time with them.
So what’s best for you and don’t worry about the comments!
Mary Moo Cow says
It wouldn’t make sense to me to completely pull my kids out of childcare for an unknown length of time, or to pull them but keep paying to keep the spot. Maybe the friends were thinking you’d be home after school, or would have more leisurely mornings because you wouldn’t have to rush to drop off at care and then work. I agree that the comments you’ve gotten could be driven by friend’s own desire to drop out or cut back (I’ve been surprised how much I’ve fantasized about that since working from home in the past year, fwiw.)
To answer your question, yes, your plan sounds reasonable, and yes, I think you will hear more comments like this. Everyone has opinions. Good luck with the job search!
DLC says
I think this is definitely a “you do you” situation.
Also- I feel like so many working moms are so so so burnt out at this point that getting laid off would be seen as a relief on some level, even with the financial stress.
But for what it’s worth if this happened to me, I would also carry on aggressively job searching with periodic early pick ups or fun days to savor time with my small children.
Anonymous says
Yes. There were layoffs at my company recently, and while I wasn’t affected, I would have been happy for an excuse to slow down. This is exactly what I would do. Job-hunting can easily be a full time job. Definitely take some time to decompress, but unless you want this to be the start of a more permanent step back from your career (which is also fine, you do you), no childcare changes.
OP, best of luck in your next chapter. It sounds like you’re seeing the positive in this, and I hope you pivot into a more supportive workplace.
GCA says
No, I think your plan is perfectly reasonable! You have some financial wiggle room for a few weeks, so use it. Also, maybe other people will comment, but just remember that what’s right for them might not be right for you and that’s ok. It’s been a very long year, and if working moms are also carrying the majority of the household and emotional labor, a long break might sound nice to them in theory.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I would also keep the kids in full time childcare while you look for a new job. Don’t forget to take some time for yourself during this forced slow down period too! Time with small kids is great and all, but it’s work and is exhausting (at least for me). I wouldn’t want to just go from busy corporate job to full time caregiver, back to full time busy corporate work. Definitely do some hunting every day, but also take some time for walks, reading and whatever else relaxes you so that you’re ready to go when you start working again.
Take the time during your job search to look for a job that gives you the flexibility and work life that you truly want too, as it sounds like you’re not financially constrained to just take the first offer. FWIW, I was laid off when my first was born and it was incredibly stressful at the time, but I’m so much better off in where I am now so good luck to you!
OP says
Damn, I love you nice internet ladies. I feel so comforted by your responses!!! Not being valued at a company during an already stressful year really took a toll on me, so I am going to enjoy this time. Planning on reading a book, getting a massage/facial, checking out different parts of my city, taking kids for ice cream for dinner…. I feel like the options are endless (until crunch time appears) XOXO.
Anonymous says
Yes! I commented below about my leave of absence and I did pretty much all these things during leave, and it was so wonderful and rejuvenating. I hope you take some time for self-care before you throw yourself into the job hunt. I think you’re definitely doing the right thing by keeping your childcare. If you pulled the kids out of daycare, you’d just be switching from one full time job to another, leaving you no time for yourself or for job-hunting.
EDAnon says
I think your plan makes sense. Plus, if you find a job right away, you want to have child care all setup. If it were me, I would keep them in awhile and reconsider if the job search took longer than expected. Otherwise, you can always keep them home an extra day here and there to go to the zoo or whatever.
But I would relax, job search, and exercise if it were me! With kids in care :)
SC says
Another vote for keeping childcare. When I was laid off, I spent about 6 months unemployed. I kept my son in childcare, partly because we paid by semester and partly because I wanted childcare lined up if I found a job. (Wait lists in my area are crazy.) I still did a ton of parenting because I did all the morning and evening routines and all the sick days. It was his first year in daycare, and there were a LOT of sick days. I also had time to work on some bigger projects–filing a homestead exemption with the county (has to be done in person during business hours), getting an insurance broker and changing all our insurance plans, researching investments, and managing the renovation of a rental unit. When I got my job, I had a first-round interview early in the week, a second-round interview on Thursday, and started the following Monday. I was really happy that I didn’t have to say I needed childcare before I could start!
Anonymous says
Agree with everyone else. I recently took a month long leave of absence from work, and kept childcare even though I didn’t have to worry about job hunting (which can be a full time job in and of itself!) I did do a lot of early pickups and it was really nice to spend more time with my kid, but mostly I wanted my leave to be about self care and I couldn’t do that with a kid around all the time, especially one who’s an unreliable napper. Plus she loves school! My mom was horrified (“You’re…on vacation and sending your child to daycare?!”) but she’s anti-daycare in general and doesn’t understand how much kiddo enjoys it. Your plan sounds great, don’t listen to external voices.
Waffles says
Best educational TV shows and apps for kids age 4-7?
For TV, we like: Storybots, Magic Schoolbus Rides Again, Chico Bon Bon, Brainchild, and Wild Kratts.
For apps, we like: PBS Kids, Khan Academy Kids, and Reading Eggs. We also recently got Osmo, but we have not tried it yet.
Thanks!
Same says
This is basically exactly our list, so I’ll add my 4 year old also loves Octonauts (tv show) right now.
Mary Moo Cow says
My almost 6 year old likes Molly of Denali; both she and almost 4 year old like and Let’s Go Luna! We all love Bluey – I think of it as emotional intelligence education.
They also like Epic! which reads books aloud.
Anon says
I like some of the PBS Kids Apps and then others seem like just regular video games? My son LOVES the Wild Kratts show, for example, but the Wild Kratts game is just like a running and jumping guys game. Any tips for steering your kids to the more educational options?
Thanks!
octagon says
Apps: Endless Alphabet, Endless Reader. MathTango (probably for 5+).
TV: The new netflix show Waffles & Mochi is very cute. Creative Galaxy (Prime). Storybots Super Songs are picked more than Storybots in our house. Molly of Denali. (PBS) Pete the Cat.
Anon says
Xavier Riddle and the Secret Museum and Super Why (both PBS)
Emily’s Wonder Lab (Netflix)
GCA says
Both kids (almost-6, 2.5) love Wild Kratts, Dino Dana and Magic Schoolbus. Toddler also enjoys mashing at the screen on Khan Academy Kids. And it’s not a dedicated kids app, but I’m working through Duolingo in Mandarin with my kindergartner. Works only because I know more of the language than him. Also, it’s giving him more practice reading in English!
Anonymous says
Just going to mention some of the ones not already mentioned – for TV we like National Geographic kids stuff via Disney Plus. For apps we like Zorbits for math.
Jeffiner says
My 6 yo daughter likes the Adevnture Agents on You Tube. It’s a dad and his kid(s) exploring the great outdoors and doing fun camping experiments. She especially loves their Hunt for DB Cooper episodes.
She’s also a huge fan of Wild Kratts, Dino Dana, and Oddsquad on PBS Kids.
Anonymous says
I don’t have Netflix but I want to watch the Michelle Obama show Waffles and Mochi about food around the world.
Anon Lawyer says
When do you give toddlers a blanket and/or pillow? My 16-month is still sleeping in a sleep sack and bare crib (with a lovey), which she seems fine with. So I don’t feel the need to mess with things when they’re working, but when do you actually start with that?
Katy says
When we couldn’t fit him in a sleep sack anymore (i think i bought up to that very big 36 or even 48 months size which i thought was SO bizarre when i first saw it….. which he grew out of at ~2.5ish.). It was great – although theoretically he could take it off because we knew he could do zippers, i am not sure that it occurred to him to take it off and climb out. if you can’t split your legs you can’t climb out of a crib unless you are willing to dive headfirst over the rail. Ours never tried that.
We took the side off the crib, started potty training and went to blankets all around the same time.
Anonymous says
Mine climbed out of the crib while wearing a sleep sack. Definitely less safe than with legs free.
Anonymous says
We kept ours in a sleep sack with no blanket or pillow until we moved her to a real bed at 27 months. With the bed, we tucked the covers under the mattress on one side so she couldn’t kick them all the way off. I didn’t want to be going in there ten times a night to put the covers back on.
TheElms says
When they ask is my current theory with my 22 month old. Around 18 months mine started asking for stuffed animals so now she sleeps with about 4-6 on any given night. About a month ago she asked for a blanket so we gave her one. It is just a small baby blanket and doesn’t really cover all of her. She definitely does not keep it on at night or nap and still sleeps like a wild thing. She is also still in a sleep sack to deter climbing out / keep her warm. My hope is to get her to 2.5 in her crib in her sleep sack, but she’s currently capable of climbing in/out without the sleep sack and I wonder how long it will be before she can do it with the sleep sack on. After that we’ll transition to a toddler bed or big bed so she’d be able to get things for herself at which point I think it will all change and I’ll probably give her real sheets/blanket and a pillow. If your toddler hasn’t asked for anything I wouldn’t give them anything or change the status quo until something isn’t working.
EDAnon says
We got our kids little toddler pillows (from something like the kids pillow company?) when they moved to cots at daycare (around 1) so they had one for their cot and one at home. Their rooms are cold so we added blankets around that same time (maybe a bit later).
Anonymous says
When they ask. 2.5 year old crib dweller currently wears a mostly unzipped sleep sack (it’s like a jacket at the point but he still wants it???), and has several other blankets in there with him – they don’t cover him (he objects) but I guess he snuggles with them. They take up half the crib, no joke. The other half is taken up with about 8 stuffed animals and suddenly every doll in the house must also be there. But seriously my older child didn’t sleep with a blanket ON him till he was almost 4. That one never had a sleep sack either. He wasn’t cold somehow and did NOT want a blanket on him. Eventually he wanted one so that’s when we put it on. Still kicked it off for 6-8 months and wouldn’t tolerate having it tucked in (which I understand- I can’t tolerate a tucked in blanket either).
TheElms says
Picturing the jacket sleep sack made me laugh!
Anonymous says
My 3 year old still doesn’t have either one. She hasn’t asked and we’ve offered but not forced the issue.
Anon3 says
My almost 3 year old has defaulted to hitting. I’m pretty certain it’s attention seeking. I feel like I have to shut it down and react (actions have consequences, and all – sometimes it’s time out, sometimes it’s losing a book at nap or bedtime), but at the same time it’s exactly what she’s looking for from me, dad and nanny. Help?
Side note: she is also newly playing “time out” with her stuffed animals. My instinct is to shut that down and reinforce that time out is not for fun/play. Help x2?
Signed, a very tired, over worked, mid-fertility-treatment hormonal mom who is at the end of a rapidly fraying rope
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t shut down the time out play, She’s essentially doing play therapy to herself. She’s probably using playing time out with her animals to sort through her feelings on herself being in time out. My DD does this all the time, or repeats stuff I say to her during pretend play “I’ll take your toy away!”
Anon says
someone else posted above about how to handle hitting. so if anything, know you are not alone. but agree with not shutting down the play. sometimes one of my 2.75 year olds tells me she cannot play with me because she is ‘working’ – which is her way of acting out a Daniel Tiger episode/when I tell her that I have to clean up from dinner and cannot play with her that second. kids also pretend to put masks on their dolls to keep them safe, etc. play is a great way for kids to work out their feelings
Anon says
As much as possible, relate the consequence to the action. Taking away a book doesn’t seem to relate, and is removing connection time, which could make the hitting worse. I try to remember that three-year-olds aren’t giving me a hard time, they are having a hard time. Deal with the action in the moment – catch her hands, empathize with her frustration but let her know you won’t let her hit you, walk away to keep yourself safe if needed. But don’t pile on punishments – move past it quickly and give her extra positive attention.
Honestly, I remember sitting in time out as a very young child and thinking about how much I hated my parents/siblings and stewing in anger. Totally counterproductive. So we don’t do them, other than when things have escalated so far we all need a break from each other.
Anon says
agree. there are also ways to re-frame the time out concept, so that the context is different. like, it seems like you are having trouble playing in a safe way and it’s my job to keep everyone safe. let’s take a break in your room until you are ready to play safely again.
Anonymous says
This is how we frame it. You have to play safe. If you cannot play safe you take a break from playing.
So Anon says
Weekly primal scream: Was in a meeting with a colleague who has one child in high school and one in college. She said that while she feels for parents with smaller kids, it has been a year and people should have adapted/figured it out by now. Right. I’ll just go figure this out now….
EDAnon says
Ugh. I think we are all better at it, but there is no figuring it out! Especially when you have kiddos in virtual school. It’s a huge struggle.
GCA says
Say what? How on earth are you supposed to ‘just figure it out’ when there are no options or the options keep changing?…
avocado says
If it makes you feel any better, my kid is in high school and I still haven’t adapted.
What should have adapted by now is the organization.
Anonymous says
It was suggested to me that maybe i should “socialize” more with the VPs in the organization…..to raise my profile and establish me as their peer. UMMMMM. When and how the F would you like me to do that?
avocado says
That is maddening.