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Organizing Thursday: Chrome Bathroom Tray

Recent Recs

Chrome Bathroom Tray

I recently bought one of these mirrored trays for my side of the bathroom sink. For me, things are out of sight, out of mind, so if I am going to remember to do parts of my nighttime routine, it has to be sitting right on the counter. I wanted a nice way to corral these various items, and I found these nice mirrored trays at Target. The one I ordered is a long rectangle, but Target accidentally sent me one that was a circle. If you haven’t had experience with shopping Target online, I have to say it was extremely easy and straightforward! When you want to make a return, a little questionnaire pops up and you answer some questions as it walks you through the return. The way it resolved is that Target let me keep the circle one and shipped me the correct rectangle shape for free. Target 4 Life!! This tray is $19.99. Chrome Bathroom Tray

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Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • J.Crew – 25-40% off kids’ styles; extra 50% off select sale
  • Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
  • Hanna Andersson – 30% off all kids’ & baby clothing; PJs on sale from $25; up to 75% off clearance
  • Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
  • Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
  • Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
  • Pottery Barn Baby – Summer sale: up to 50% off
  • Nordstrom – Limited time sales on brands like Maxi-Cosi and Bugaboo.
  • Strolleria – Free infant seat car adapter with any Thule stroller; 30% off all Peg-Perego gear in our exclusive Incanto Collection

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    I’d like to get my two year old a toddler sized table and chair (2 chairs) that she would be able to use for a couple of years . She is average to tall. Any suggestions? Amazon availability is a bonus. Thanks

    • Cb says

      Not cheap but we have a Mutable one that can be lowered. It’s really nice looking and seems very sturdy.

    • Anonymous says

      Not Amazon available, but we have and love the Ikea Sundvik set. Our kiddo is 4.5, about 50% height, and it still fits her well.

      • CCLA says

        We have and like this one too. 1.5 and 3.5 yo both use it and are nowhere near growing out of it.

      • Anon says

        We have both the Latt and the Mammut sets from Ikea and both continue to be used daily (for art projects more than eating these days) now that my oldest is 7.5. Surprisingly sturdy for how cheap they were. The 7 year old is getting a little big for the Latt but that doesn’t stop her and I think she and her friends use it more than the other kids.

    • Anon says

      I have a 2YO wearing 5-6 (so also tall) and she’s still very happy with her ikea latt table and chairs. It’s surprisingly durable and resistant to staining. Pencil and crayon remove well with microfiber.

    • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

      We bought the Pottery Barn Kids table (Carolina table I think?) used and it’s been great. My kids are now 5 and 8 and it’s still good for them. We have a dark color so you can’t see minor imperfections.

      • PDXK says

        We were gifted the Pottery Barn set and it works both for our very tall toddler and her older little pals (up to 5-7). The chairs are sturdy enough that her dad and I can both sit on them and draw with her, too which she loves.

    • anon. says

      Kidkraft is great. Our neighbor gave us a hand me down one that’s lasted over 12 years and is on its third family.

    • Sprout Kids says

      Sprout Kids is great. They have a table with 3 leg sizes and I think the pricing is great.

  2. Anonymous says

    I’d like to get my two year old a toddler sized table and chair (2 chairs) that she would be able to use for a couple of years . She is average to tall. Any suggestions? River site availability is a bonus. Thanks

    • ElisaR says

      i’m happy with the pottery barn kids one. it has 2 different lengths for the legs so the table “grows” with the kid. However, the chairs that they sell (or maybe they come with it? i can’t remember) are only for the table when it’s higher so we had to buy little chairs online for the table. We actually have 2 of them, one small and square in our kitchen and a bigger one in our play room.

      • Anonymous says

        We have this set. I kept waiting for it to die, assuming I’d replace it with something fanicer but it’s lasted 7 years and three kids in our house. Including being stood on repeatedly by the kids. I like that it doesn’t take up much space, is pretty neutral so it goes with pretty much any decor.

      • AwayEmily says

        +1 — we have this and it’s lasted surprisingly well. We do have to tighten the screws on the chairs every once in awhile.

      • Butter says

        We have this too. He didn’t use it much in the play area, but we moved it into the kitchen because kiddo likes to take his meals at his own table. It’s pretty darn cute.

  3. Anon says

    yesterday afternoon after nap and snack time one of my 21 month year old twins became hysterical. it was like she was possessed or something. it has happened before, but not for such a long period of time. for a good 20+ minutes she was HYSTERICALLY crying and screaming quite loudly. she would want me to pick her up, then put her down. she didn’t seem to really want to be hugged. she would run in between her room and our living room (we are in an apartment), it seemed like maybe she was still tired bc i know our nanny woke her up from her nap. i honestly almost called the doctor bc none of my usual tricks to calm her down worked (hugging, reading, offering a snack, trying to bring out a new toy, showing this 10 second video of the 2 of them as babies – not proud of using a screen for this purpose, but sometimes i’m desperate) . it was actually scary and twin B was then also crying hysterically (but in a different way/for a different reason) bc it was upsetting to see her sister that way. i honestly almost called the doctor bc i thought something was really wrong. eventually she pulled out this box of cereal from our snack cabinet, and i got some for both of them and then we watched/listened to songs on youtube for 5 minutes and she calmed down. i don’t like the idea of rewarding bad behavior, but i didn’t know how to help her. does anyone else’s kid ever act this way? any suggestions of better ways to handle it.

    • Anon says

      Yes, has definitely happened before with my daughter. Sometimes they just go crazy for whatever reason. I think the only reason you should be concerned is if it starts to become a regular occurrence, but I’m sure it was a once in a while thing and you and her will be fine.

    • Cb says

      My son has done this a few times but it was right after waking up. Like he didn’t fully wake-up? Did she poo shortly after? A friend’s son had an evaluation because he was quite agitated, agressive, and it was because he is constipated and it makes him agitated. I wonder if something was bothering her.

      You weren’t rewarding bad behaviour, she was struggling and you did what you needed to do to help her calm down. It’s scary in the moment though.

      • Anon says

        Yeah, when this happens in my house it’s because the kid isn’t fully awake. OP, in your case it sounds more like she was fine during snack and then turned after?

        Also, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with showing your kid a 10 second video of themseleves. I hate that society has conditioned us into all screentime is bad to such an extent that we feel like we have justify little things like that.

    • Anon says

      I think it’s pretty normal. Did you try just leaving her alone for a bit in a safe place? My toddler did this a couple times, and I eventually figured out that if I left her alone to cry she would settle in 30-60 seconds…but she could easily cry for 30 minutes if I kept attempting to console her. They can’t express what they want, especially when they’re upset, and sometimes they (like adults) just want to be alone.

      • Anon says

        Oh and totally agree with Cb that this isn’t “bad behavior.” Little kids have big emotions and are allowed to feel those emotions. Bad behavior is channeling the emotions into inappropriate actions like hitting or biting.

    • DLC says

      I agree- I don’t think you were “rewarding bad behaviour” at all! It doesn’t sound as if she was being malicious or mean – like she didn’t kick the puppy or anything, right? It sounds like you were being caring and empathetic and trying to connect with your child who was clearly having big emotions and who was ill equipped to deal with them. If it is frequent and ongoing you might mention it to your pediatrician to see if your child needs any kind of behavioral screening.

    • anon says

      Pretty normal. My DD is 2.5 and has done this like 5 times for more than 40 minutes, usually it’s just like 10 min and about once a week for the past year? Janet Landsbury’s Unruffled podcast has really put it into perspective for me and helps me to not worry too much about it, but rather appreciate it as part of her normal emotional development. Basically she says toddlers just need to let it out and its a good thing that they do, because it means they feel safe in your home. This rings true for us because it almost always happens when she comes home from school/vacation/weekend at Gmas where she was perfect. (other times too, like after nap/before bed). I’ll echo the above that it has nothing to do with you, you can’t make it better,and offering solutions can make it worse, just make sure she knows you’re there, while giving her space to work it out. It’s really frustrating,and scary at times, so I totally get your concern.

    • Pogo says

      Also happens to my toddler when woken from nap. I really do think this is a case where screentime is totally fine if that seems to help. It is very upsetting when they get like this, but I do agree it’s not acting out but rather they have limited words to describe how they’re feeling – confused, sleepy, cranky, prob hungry, etc.

      I have noticed that if I stop frantically trying to comfort he calms down faster – I do think there is a bit of a vicious cycle where they are like, wait mom is upset too? should i be upset? what’s happening? = cry more.

      My solution 99% of the time is to let him sleep as long as he wants, and in fact don’t go in right away when he wakes up (goes for morning too) – he needs to roll around and sing to himself for awhile before he’s ready for the world. I know his caregiver has him on a schedule and he wakes up fine for her, but he also eats vegetables for her so I’m convinced she practices some kind of special sorcery anyway.

      • Cb says

        Yeah, my son needs a bit of solo time before he gets out of bed. The other day I went in and he said ‘Mama, I want to stay in the forest’ and rolled over.

    • OP says

      thanks everyone. she did pull her twin’s hair and then my hair, which is something she seems to do impulsively when she is mad. I listen to Janet Landsbury and realize she is not actively trying to be mean, but it is an impulse she can’t really control in the moment. i guess what makes it challenging is that twin B gets scared/very upset by this, so then i have two hysterical (though in different ways) children on hand and i’m not really sure who to pay attention to in the moment

      • Anonymous says

        As a twin mom, in these situations I try to verbally calm one child while physically calming the other. Like hold upset twin but continue to make verbals offers of support to the twin who is running around. Or if you need to pick up running around twin, offer verbal support to other twin.

        Also, make sure you don’t overload them. I find DH will present multiple options to the kids at a time and it overwhelms them and they can’t respond. Offer a hug, wait for a response or 5-10 seconds, then offer a drink or hold out a sippy cup of water, wait for a response etc.

    • Anonymous says

      My just shy of three year old is still miserable if she gets woken up from a nap. Like just laying down crying. At that age she would get one episode of Daniel tiger after nap (her alottment for the day) because she was super slow to wake up from naps and also crabby

  4. Anonymous says

    My husband is really bad at handling night wake ups. If everything goes fine, he can handle it, but if something goes wrong (the baby spits up, or keeps crying after all the usual issues have been solved) he gets flustered and can’t problem solve. He really wants to help and feels bad about it, but he ends up waking me up to help about half the time. I’m planning to go out of town on a work trip in a few weeks, and I thought that would be a good opportunity for him to get more confidence taking care of the baby. Do y’all have any other suggestions? Thanks!

    • HSAL says

      If he wants to help and feels bad, then he needs to stop waking you up. No reason to wait a few weeks until you aren’t even around.

      • Anonymous says

        This. Our rule was that you had to try to settle the baby for two hours before waking the other person. Exception was if baby needed to go to the hospital (e.g. very high fever that didn’t come down after medication administered and given time to take effect).

        Sometimes that result in DH pacing back and forth in the basement wearing baby in a babybjorn for the two hours because that was the only way she’d sleep, before waking me up. They just have to figure it out. DH fed, rocked and bounced all the kids in different ways than I would be they have to develop their own relationship with them.

        Have him to put baby back in the crib, leave the room and take a deep breath before trying again to address whatever the issue is. He needs to figure out how to calm himself down. Sit down and write down a list of things to try so he has something to focus on when he’s worked up – fed, fresh diaper, stuffy nose, fed again, diaper check again, fever, teething, cuddles, too hot, too cold etc. My MIL actually made a flow chart of things to try for FIL when DH was small.

        • DLC says

          I love this “two hour” rule! It’s such a concrete way of sharing the load.

    • AnotherAnon says

      I think he needs to spend more time with baby. I had a happy spitter, so spit up seems like a very, very minor issue that I would be incensed to have been woken up over. Is he just exhausted and can’t think straight, or can he really not problem solve for himself? Maybe go over how to clean up a spit up baby in the evening before everyone goes to bed? It took me a while to get comfortable with the fact that sometimes babies just cry or aren’t sleepy or want to party at 4AM. The more time DH spent with him, the more comfortable he got with situations that weren’t ideal. They watched a lot of Simpsons together in the middle of the night. Not what I would have done, but hey, he didn’t wake me up either.

      • anne-on says

        +1 I would be so mad at being woken up for something ‘simple’ like spit up or a low grade fever. I will say, we did ‘spell’ each other on ear infection nights because my kiddo wanted to be held/bounced while you were walking (if you sat down he started screaming). It is just physically hard to do that for too long, so we’d swap off.
        For standard, ‘I ate, have a dirty diaper blow out and now need to be changed/cleaned up/rocked to settle down’ that needs to be on him to figure out. Sometimes the only way out is through.

      • Pogo says

        ha, same with the happy spitter. My kid literally spit up every 15 min regardless.

        We had a system where someone was “on” for a specific period of time and couldn’t wake the other person (pending like, actual emergency as others have mentioned).

        I think it kinda depends on whether you are nursing/what kind of sleep training you are doing though, which I didn’t gather from your comment. Early on (<4 mos) I did every wakeup b/c it was just nurse, back to bed. Nothing for DH to do really. Past that point when we started sleep training DH took anything before midnight and I took after, but that was when we knew he could go that long without eating and we were trying to get him on a schedule of 1 am and 4 am feedings.

    • anon says

      If he is going to handle night wakeups and can’t improvise, then he needs to think through what could go wrong and plan for it in advance. Like, lay out a change of pajamas in the nursery in case the baby needs a change of clothes. Unless the baby is legit sick (like has a fever or is throwing up, when I’d want to be woken up), the needs of a baby can generally be solved with some combination of bottle (with appropriate milk/formula), pacifier, clean diapers, wipes, pjs, sleeper blanket, or an adult’s rocking or cuddling.

    • GCA says

      I would let him just commit to handling night wakeups for x hours (eg. we used to take shifts, DH got the earlier ones and I took the later ones when a tiny baby was likely to be legit hungry). The things he comes up with to settle the baby may be different from the techniques you use to settle the baby. When I was nursing tiny babies, obviously in a pinch I could always comfort-nurse them back down, but that was not an option open to DH.

    • Anon says

      Hmmm. I would just remember that this too shall pass. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Honestly, my husband almost never helped at night, and your husband is truly trying, and it’s understandable to ask for help when nothing seems to be working. I would talk through different soothing options when you are both calm and alert to help him think it through and have a game plan, but not all people are “baby people” and know how to improvise in that way.

    • Anon says

      Mom to a newborn here, so my advice is kind of limited, but I noticed that my husband seems to get a lot more unraveled than I do when our baby cries and fusses. He tries to get the baby to stop; I try to ensure that he’s fed, changed, and has a pacifier, and then just figure that fussing happens.

      I would try to get your husband to distinguish between the cries of “I’m really uncomfortable and need a parent to help me” and “I’m just a fussy little baby who can’t express myself.”

      • Anonymous says

        Yes, this has been my experience! Husband is much more stressed by the baby crying, whereas I am pretty ok just holding and rocking him through it. Husband needs to fix it right away or he gets very frazzled.

      • Anonymous says

        This is good advice. DH and I were (and continue to be) the opposite. I must fix it, and he just lets it go if kiddo is just fussing (now throwing a tantrum at 4 years old).

        • Anonymous says

          This is us. He has a much higher tolerance for baby or kid fussing than I do.

      • IHeartBacon says

        This. Also, the OP may want to tell her husband something that a commenter wrote on this site that really changed how I felt about the times when baby just wanted to cry and I felt like I wasn’t able to “do anything” and nothing I tried helped: “what the baby wants is to cry, so you are doing something by holding the baby while he cries because crying in the arms of someone who loves you is a lot better than crying alone in a crib.”

  5. Annual Review while Pregnant says

    Cross-posting from the main site to hopefully get more info:
    Looking for advice on negotiating my annual salary at my review this year while pregnant. I have relative seniority and taken on more responsibility in the past year. I certainly feel that I’m currently compensated well, but I have never really asked for more because I thought previous salary increases were fair. I want to be sure that I am not blindsided by a minimal increase or none at all because of my maternity leave this year. Does anyone have advice or success stories of negotiating higher salaries or responsibilities during a year when you were going on maternity leave for several months? I feel like I am starting from behind with this year’s review and my leave looming.

    • Anon says

      It sounds like you’ve been treated well in the past. Do you have a reason to believe the maternity leave will throw everything off? What is making you so concerned?

  6. DLC says

    Low stakes question… I feel like I need to be talked out of/ into getting an excauser/ jumparoo for my 5 month old. She’s getting to that age where she can sit up with help, and I feel like she needs somewhere to hang out beyond play mat and bouncer chair. With our second child, someone loaned us an excauser, which I remember being useful, but we didn’t have one with our first and it was fine too. (We did have a Bumbo with both kids, but we gave that away after #2 outgrew it.) It’s not a cost issue because they are readily available used on the listserv, often for free. I think I’m getting hung up on the amount of real estate I’d have to give up in our living room for it (flashing lights and cartoon animals is not precisely my living room aesthetic), and how long do I really think it will get used? like maybe I can just wait out this phase? But then some times, I think, maybe it would be more entertaining for the baby to be upright? I’m sure it’s not worth my mental energy, but I Would love opinions from the trenches and beyond…

    • Anonymous says

      I loved them. My kids used then right up to like age 3. I kept trying to give them away but they would put themselves in a refuse to get out. I found like later kids, it really increased interaction between the baby and older sibling because the baby was upright and they could play with the exersaucer toys together.

      I actually had three – master bathroom, playroom and front living room (put baby in when loading/unloading groceries etc. It’s not a permanent part of your aesthetic. It’s just a year or two.

      • Anonymous says

        The best one of what we had was the Baby Einstein Activity Jumper – they really loved that one. The Graco Exersaucers were less footprint but no jumping in the same way so less popular in the 9-18 months time frame.

    • Anon says

      We loved it, but my kid outgrew it (weight and height wise) by something like 9 months, so it was a limited time use item for us.

    • anon says

      just do it. It’s maybe 4-5 months of containing a child in a happy place. then you can donate it to the next family. My SIL gave us hers, I was very hesitant for your same reasons, but it was super useful for the few months she used it.

    • ALC says

      We just got a jumparoo for our 7 month old and it’s been great! I can do a couple of light chores while he’s bouncing, and he’s contained but mobile so he’s happy. Can’t comment on how long it will be used, but so far it’s been worth it.

    • AwayEmily says

      Do it! Grab a used one. You are right that they have a very limited timespan but are SUPER awesome for those few months that they work.

    • AnotherAnon says

      Full disclosure; I am not judging. We used all of these and I think whatever you decide will be fine. But if it influences your decision: exersaucers, Bumbos and doorway jumpy swings are not recommended for physical development of babies by OT/PT specialists. Next time I’ll probably still use the doorway jumpy swing, just because my first loved it so much, and skip the rest in favor of a mat on the floor. But we no longer have a shedding dog either (may he rest in peace), so that does influence my decision quite a bit to just plop kiddo on the floor.

      • Cb says

        Yes, we were pretty strict about ‘container’ time with my son. It didn’t make any difference, he didn’t learn to roll over until he was 10 months old.

      • Anonymous says

        “exersaucers, Bumbos and doorway jumpy swings are not recommended for physical development of babies by OT/PT specialists”

        Do you have a source for this? One of my kids was in PT for a birth related issue and this was never mentioned. My oldest crawled at 5 months so I definitely needed a jumper to keep her contained and burning off energy on occasion. I don’t think of them as an alternative to floor time, more like an alternative to a pack n play.

          • Anonymous says

            I don’t see anything on her site about that. I get that time in these types of baby gear should be limited but moms have common sense also need to shower/start dinner etc. and they are super handy for that. “not recommended” is quite different from “don’t recommend using for long periods” or something.

        • AnotherAnon says

          My source is an OT and a PT who did a class at our foster agency on early child development. Again, I am not judging; I used the devices and probably will again. I was just giving OP a reason not to, since that is what she asked.

          • Anonymous says

            I didn’t think it was judging. I was just curious as our PT hadn’t mentioned it and the way the comment was worded, I thought you were saying there was a new public health recommendation out not to use them vs. the general OT/PT view that too much time in containers even ‘active’ ones, is not good.

        • Pogo says

          My ped specifically wasn’t a fan of the bumbo, but otherwise didn’t tell us not to use the other items mentioned. The jumper we had encouraged him to well, jump, so to a non-medical professional that seemed fine to me.

      • Anon says

        Fwiw, we never owned any kind of baby containment device (except crib/PNP) and my daughter cruised and walked very late (16 months and 18 months, respectively). Her ped specifically mentioned that maybe it was because she had never had any “practice” standing up and bearing weight on her feet. I think if we have a second kid we will get an exosaucer thing and use it in moderation.

    • Cb says

      I’ll be a voice of dissent, we never had one and it was fine. We used a yoga bolster and the baby bjorn chair for a bit of bounce. When he was six months, we got him one of those doorway bouncers which honestly, I don’t think are great from a safety perspective but man, he loved that thing.
      Cavaet, we didn’t have big kids or a dog around so my son could just lie on the rug without any risk.

      • NYCer says

        +1 to literally all of this! [No exersaucer, yes to baby bjorn seat and play mat, and yes to doorway bouncer even though they aren’t the best from a safety/development perspective.]

        I honestly never felt like we missed out on having the exersaucer or activity mat. Baby spent A LOT of time on the floor!

    • FVNC says

      I’d say — get a used/free one, and then donate quickly (after a few months?) if it’s not being used. My first kid would have lived in her exersaucer if we’d let her; my second didn’t have much use for it at all. You can’t predict if your baby will take to it, but if she does, it’ll be awesome to have a place to plop her and let her be entertained.

    • Anon says

      yup, we had 1 for our twins, got about 6 months of use out of it, so glad a friend lent us one. like with most devices, just a friendly reminder that baby should nto spend too much time in the device so baby can properly develop muscles etc.

    • Pogo says

      We had the Graco Doorway Bumper Jumper and it was an absolute must have for us. We brought it on multiple vacations, even on the plane. It takes up 0 real estate as long as you have a doorframe you can use, folds up small, and provided endless hours of bouncing and baby containment. I think we used ours from about 4 mos – 10 mos, but it got so much use in that time it was 100% worth it.

    • Anon says

      I loved mine, but it got the most use from months 4-6/7. Once my babies could scoot and crawl they didn’t want to be contained. My niece, however, was very late to crawl and walk and went in and out of it basically until she turned two (my sister used it as a snack/TV containment device while she got ready in the mornings). Maybe pick up a used one and then you won’t feel as bad tossing it if it doesn’t work out.

      Caveat: your baby definitely doesn’t *need* another place to hang out if she seems happy with the status quo…being on the floor and unrestrained is way better for her development. They are valuable for like 10-15 min at a time if your baby is fussy on floor and you don’t want to hold her.

    • KatieWolf says

      I had a Galt playnest at that age – its like an inflatable donut with a cloth cover. I loved it bc it gave her more floor sitting practice while protecting her from falls. Baby was a late crawler so we used it about 5 months before she outgrew it.

    • Seafinch says

      Late reply but after four kids we had given it all away by #3. I don’t use any of it (no pets, so that was never a concern). I put them on the floor, regardless of when they crawl. I had really fond memories of those containers from my own childhood with younger siblings and nephews and assumed I would use it but it was just clutter and totally unnecessary. I have an Ikea blanket/mat I like.

    • DLC says

      Thanks for all the input! And for the reminder that nothing is forever and nothing is really forever damaging if we pay attention. I do worry about too much time on the playmat and her head getting flat. I’ll definitely look into some of the alternatives suggested too.

  7. anon says

    WWYD? My EBF six-month-old has mild eczema and bad gas that flares up every few days and causes screaming, thrashing, etc. We kept hoping both would get better, but we’re past the end of the usual 4-6 month window for gut development, and nothing is improving. I suspect an allergy, but if it is one, it is not a bad one as there are none of the alarming signs like breathing issues or blood in the diapers. Would you push the ped to see a specialist and try testing? My only hesitation is that I’ve heard the tests are unreliable and may just end with me being told to cut all dairy and soy from my diet, which, yikes.

    • anon says

      Not trying to be judgey, did you not already try cutting out dairy and soy? It’s really not that bad. I did that on advice of ped without the allergy test. I wouldn’t see a specialist or get testing in any scenario. If you don’t want to cut dairy and soy you could also try a hypoallergenic formula.

      Are the diapers mucusy? That was the only sign for us – my DD actually always seemed happy and comfortable. I’d say the screaming and thrashing would be enough to make trying an elimination diet worth it.

      • anon says

        Dairy, sure, but soy is in practically everything. I really don’t think you can call that no big deal.

        • Anonymous says

          Different anon here. Funny – I feel the opposite. Soy would be easy and dairy harder.

        • earlier poster says

          Eh, it felt like a lot until I actually tried to do it. There’s also different types of soy – pediatrician could probably give guidance. I avoided all, but you could ease into it potentially. The key was it was only for a period of time, you can change a lot about your diet if there’s an end in sight!

          I shopped a lot at Trader Joes.

    • K. says

      I would see a doctor asap. If your baby wasn’t reacting at all with the screaming and thrashing that would be one thing, but that is one of the few ways it can communicate that it is in pain. I would just want to know what is wrong so I can help that. Eliminating dairy and soy isn’t fun (I’ve been there), but it’s not the worst thing in the world.

    • Anonymous says

      As a mom of a kid with a severe milk-protein allergy, please don’t do a dairy or soy elimination diet without speaking to a specialist. Years ago the advice was for moms not to consume but the current advice is to carefully assess and keep as much in the diet as possible to reduce the severity of the allergy. The same way older kids do a ‘baked milk’ test to determine if they can tolerate small amounts to try and reduce the allergy. Some peds are still giving out the old advice.

      Skin prick tests result in many false positives, especially in kids with eczema (even in areas where the eczema is not present – they just have very reactive skin). A good ped won’t skin prick test unless there has been a suspected acute reaction.

      Have you kept a food diary? Write down everything you eat for a week or two. Record when baby has the concerning symptoms. Best case, you figure out the trigger food, worst case you have a helpful food record for the specialist to review to try and establish triggers. For my oldest, quinoa caused horrible gas and diarrhea when she was EBF and I ate it. For my youngest, the trigger was green peas. Neither was allergic, those foods just really really did not agree with their digestive systems.

      For eczema – switch pyjamas to 100% cotton snug fit – the flame retardants in other types can aggravate eczema and switch all laundry detergent to unscented. Avoid dryer sheets. Bathe in lukewarm water and use a heavy eczema cream like Cerave.

    • ifiknew says

      My EBF child had the same issues. I used hypoallerginic formula and it got better very quickly once I went to morning and night. We’ve since had testing done and he is allergic to dairy and eggs and some nuts. It’s hard to see them uncomfortable, but we didn;t have anything severe (just the extent you are describing)

  8. anon says

    Question for those with big kids — What do you do to make your backyard more appealing for spontaneous play? My kids are 10 and 5. Our only equipment is a swing set, which my 5-year-old still uses, but not my older kid anymore (which makes me sad)! I would love a trampoline because I’d use it, too, but DH has nixed that idea for safety reasons. I don’t agree, but whatever — I doubt I can get him to budge. I wish my 10-year-old would just go outside and kick a ball around (with us or friends), but he has zero interest.

    Our backyard is decent sized with plenty of space to run around and space generally isn’t an issue. We have one big-ish tree, but I’m not sure it’s substantial enough for, say, a tire swing or something of that nature. I love those big saucer swings, provided we could find a space to hang it. We also have a large patio/deck area to work with.

    • Anonymous says

      The tree is key. Nail a few board to the side to help the kids climb it or put a rope with knots so they can use that. Do you have a mud kitchen? I also think trampolines are way too dangerous. What about a slack line? You can tie one end to the tree and the other to your deck.

    • Anonymous says

      Kicking a ball around is so boring. Can he bike to a park? Go exploring somewhere?

    • anon says

      What about a slackline or basketball hoop for the 10 yo? Pogostick? Skateboard? Drone to fly (at least you have to chase after it every time it crashes)? In the summer, slip-n-slide?

    • Anonymous says

      My oldest is 7. We got a geodome and hung a swing inside it. We used to have the swing (it’s a modern-style tire swing) on a tree, which they all loved, but had to come down. My kid, all her friends, and half the neighborhood love this climbing dome! I think 10 year olds might be on the big side for it but our 13 year old neighbor/mothers helper plays on it so…

      We have a swingset but the younger kids mostly play on it.

      Zipline? Tree fort? If they are old enough let them help build it. Basketball hoop, bike/skateboard ramps? Rope knotted and swung over a tree for climbing? My kids want to build a ninja warrior type course in our yard and we are probably going to do something like that this summer. Hammock?

      • ElisaR says

        all my nephews every want to do is shoot hoops. nice thing is one kid can do it or many!

      • anon says

        Dumb question, but how do you mow around the geodome? Is it moveable, or do you have to sneak in there with a week whacker or something?

        • Anonymous says

          Our landscapers weedwhack around and in it. However, a medium-tall adult could easily pick it up and love it. I do it just to keep the grass under it from dying.

    • anon. says

      Tetherball! Bonus point it’s a super easy DIY. And he can hit alone or as a game with a friend.

    • Anonymous says

      What about yard games? Corn hole, ladder golf, croquet, bocce ball?

    • Anonymous says

      I think if you want him to do sporty type things (just kick the ball around), you need to provide more than the ball. A soccer goal or target, a basketball hoop, etc.

      • anon says

        Santa brought some really nice soccer goals 2 years ago that have been virtually untouched. :(

    • DLC says

      Sticks. I once went to a talk given by a landscape architect who designed playspaces and public spaces for major cities. And she talked about the need to create playscapes that are challenging and allow for open play and collaboration. And I asked her- what would she put in her backyard for her kids. And she said, “Loose pieces”. By which she meant logs and wooden discs and things that they can use to create.
      I’ll link to the lecture if I can find it.
      But aside from that- out neighbors put a basketball hoop and concrete pad in his yard and my daughter is always asking to go over to shoot hoops. My brother and I played soccer in our backyard together all the time- we didn’t have a goal, just used the space between two bushes.

    • Anonymous says

      Mine are 10 and 8. The 10-year-old will only go outside when there are hordes of kids to play with. The 8-year-old is always outside. It’s a personality thing and I can empathize with my big kid! :) But what keeps them out are:
      – Flashlights (bizarrely even during daytime)
      – Walkie-talkies
      – Other spy gear type stuff
      – ALLLLLL the wheeled things – bikes, scooters, rollerblades, wagons, plasma cars, etc…
      – Lemonade stand (they do this themselves but it helps to have big Amazon delivery boxes around to set up the table)
      – Other kind of selling thing (they’ve made comic books, sometimes they sell their own toys, etc…our street is calm and it’s usually their friends or patient neighborhood adults walking their dogs who keep them in business!)

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