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With Nordstrom’s spring sale happening now, this 100% cashmere sweater is on major sale — 50% off. This is the first turtleneck I’ve bought in a while, even though I generally do like the style. It is going to be a welcome addition to my closet for next fall/winter — and at $50, it’s a great price for 100% cashmere. The sweater comes in sizes XS–XXL and is available in six colors. Halogen Cashmere Turtleneck Sweater
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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anonymous says
what would you do? Our small co-op daycare is having us keep paying tuition so the teachers still get paid, which I am ok with because they are clearly trying hard to figure out ways to reduce costs, while still make sure we can be up and running right away when possible. But I realized today (through a FaceTime with one of the teachers) that at least one teacher is nannying right now for another family in the class. So, the teacher is either getting paid double from both daycare employment and the family to nanny, or the family is one of the few still paying tuition and getting care. Should I tell the director? But what could they even do about it? It just feels really unfair, although I don’t begrudge either the teacher or the nanny but- I want care that I am paying for too! But obviously the teachers can’t nanny for anyone, nor do we have the set-up for that.
Anonymous says
I wouldn’t be a tattle take but I would i for day care that I am not paying tuition past the end of next week. It’s not sustainable.
Anon says
+1 I did this and was surprised that daycare just said “ok.” Sorry but I think the people that are still paying are suckers.
Anonymous says
Agreed. For a two week closure it was a reasonable plan. For months as it turns out this will be, it is not.
Anon says
Yeah I think there is a difference between paying for a week or two to give employees paid leave, and paying for months, which is effectively giving unemployed people a full salary.
Anon says
Lots of daycare teachers are doing this right now. Don’t be a tattle. Our national franchise does not have us paying anymore. More and more I’m hearing of in-home and national daycares not requiring tuition payment. I think that’s the issue. not that the nanny/family have made accommodations on their own to the side.
Anon says
But she is paying tuition, a portion of which is funding that teacher’s salary. I agree if she weren’t paying tuition it would be a case of MYOB.
Anon says
That’s my point: the issue is that she’s paying tuition. She should not be, and that’s what she should be focusing efforts on, not on “tattling” on another family/worker.
Anonanonanon says
I’d stop paying soon. We will continue to pay our in-home daycare provider, but my elementary-scool-aged son’s before and after school care daycare we stopped paying a while ago. They called yesterday and did not have a problem marking him as “withdrawn” and said they’ll contact us before moving to the waiting list when they reopen. I thought it would be more of a fight.
Anon says
Right or wrong, we’re paying our (family owned) preschool and after care through April (which is officially how long things are closed for here) because we are in a position to do so, and as of now the coronavirus has not impacted us financially other than investments. The people that work in both of those places are like family to us as we’ve known them for so long now (on kid 2), and even in normal environments I worry about how they make do in our VHCOL city. Your question had me thinking though, would I be upset if say, I found out that during the downtime they got a temp job at one of the grocers hiring and therefore getting double paid? I don’t think so, I would think of them scrambling to do what they need to do in a very uncertain environment. But I realize that’s different than your scenario.
This all being said, if someone is not in the position to continue paying or not getting income themselves (or just disagrees with this viewpoint) I absolutely do not think they should feel pressure to keep paying. And past April if this keeps going (probably) we need to face the fact that our jobs are increasingly at risk so will likely stop. A commenter on here the other day made me feel better about this, that we can’t all single handedly prop up the economy. That’s what unemployment or the stimulus bill are for, as much as it breaks my heart to think of our beloved teachers dealing with that uncertainty.
Anonymous says
I’m willing to still pay daycare during the closure as long as my income stays the same and I’m not employing additional help.
I want to take care of our teachers if I can but I also want to invest in returning to normal life as soon as that is feasible. So far, our daycare has not indicated that they will not survive this (they are a big center). If my tuition can help ensure they’re whole when the quarantine lifts I am ok with still paying.
AnotherAnon says
You do what you think is right, but I pay tuition monthly, and I’ve already agreed to pay April and May tuition. I can afford it since I’m still working. I will re-evaluate once I lose my job. I zero percent care if the workers are double-dipping, although it’s pretty bad where we are, so I doubt they’ve secured other employment. My day care has already made it clear that they will likely not survive this.
Anon says
Do not penalize the daycare employee and tattle. If you do not want to pay daycare tuition, fine.
IHeartBacon says
I agree with this. I would just stop paying the daycare rather than tattle on the employee. If you tattle on the employee, the employee might lose her job at the daycare, which will result in no change for you because you will still be paying the daycare and receiving no childcare.
Anon says
How is everyone doing? Mentally I’m in rough shape. Work is insane with COVID-19 response items (I work peripherally to healthcare) and everyone is extremely on edge about the situation and the effect on our business and patients. It literally feels life and death to fill patients’ medical needs. I’m finding it so hard to disengage ever, so I’m not sleeping. On top of that my 6 yo is emotionally worked up about missing her friends and school and is unable to cope. My 3 yo screams in separation anxiety every time I leave the room, even though I haven’t left the house in 15 days. And our au pair needs endless reassurance, which is so so hard because I’m terrified that she’ll decide to go home and leave us in a childcare lurch. My husband is great with logistics, but doesnt seem capable of appreciating any of the emotional aspect of the situation. I’m just so done and it’s only week 2. School is closed through the end of the school year–how on earth are we going to make it to June?
Anon says
Hugs. I’m doing ok. My 2 year old is thrilled with the situation so at least I have the silver lining that it’s not unpleasant for her even if it’s unpleasant for us. But yeah it’s hard being all cooped up all the time, and I’m worried about the health of my parents and, increasingly, myself (I had severe asthma as a child and it seems like all the young people on ventilators have asthma).
Cb says
I’m alright, just trying to stick to my routine. But really need to figure out how to do substantial work. A friend with a child the same age is in Germany, so a week ahead of the UK on lockdown and she said it gets better in week 2, which I’m taking comfort in.
Anon says
I’m just finishing week 2 and will say I became much more productive at work. Week 1 just felt too surreal still, and it took me a few days to figure out a good set up.
Cb says
That’s reassuring. It doesn’t help we had 3 weeks of strike before all of this, so I haven’t been in the office since mid February.
TheElms says
The only thing I will caution is that I have been significantly less productive week 2. Week 1 I survived on adrenaline, week 2 that is gone and I am just so incredibly exhausted that it is hard to focus.
IHeartBacon says
Same here. Week 1 I was hyper focused and working on adrenaline. Week 2 has been a real mental and emotional roller coaster. I’m hoping week 3 settles my mind down and I can focus again.
Anon says
I know this isn’t probably helpful, but not leaving the house for 15 days is a lot, if you are being literal. Can you go for a quick walk around the block (I’m shelter in place and I can, so I’m assuming at least legally you can)?
Would your au pair even be able to get home if she wanted to? I know it probably isn’t heart warming to think of her as trapped there, but might help with anxiety that you will be left in a lurch?
Knope says
I so agree with the first paragraph. No US city has ordered people not to leave their houses. It sounds like you and your kids need to get outside for your mental health.
anne-on says
I’d second getting outside. I’d also encourage your au pair to disconnect from you during her time off – take walks, work out in the driveway/garage if you have one, skype her friends/family, etc. Our local coordinator has been GREAT at setting up skype calls, so I’d reach out to yours and see if they can do something similar.
Hugs – our au pair has been coping well and helpful on the balance but I’m still ready to snap at her on a daily basis – being stuck in the house with someone who isn’t family is REALLY hard. Taking breaks (I lock myself in my office with noise cancelling headphones) helps.
Also – maybe time to look into an anti-depressant? I am taking my wellbutrin religiously because it makes a HUGE different in my personality and coping skills under normal situations, it is crucial right now.
Anonymous says
Tactically, we have a handle on things. I run my own company and have reduced my hours to give myself time to watch the kids. My mom lives in town and has been coming over every day for 3 hours to watch the kids for a bit. She’s currently furloughed and other than us, is having no other social contact. DH has taken over the basement and is doing his thing; he’s on the exec team and they are in the middle of (and nearing the end of) selling the company, so fingers and toes crossed that it goes through.
Emotionally, I have had a stress headache for a full week now. My younger kids are doing fine: toddler is happy as a clam to be home all day with the family (and grandma!). Preschooler has loved all the extra time with her big sister and has nearly learned to read over the past few weeks. My Kindergartener really misses school and all her activites (she does a bunch of sports and dance, plus we swim at the gym as a family). We’ve not done a lot of (virtual) socializing but yesterday our neighborhood friend rode her bike over and stopped to chat and both girls were so, so upset that they couldn’t play. It’s like the entire 2 weeks of social isolation hit them all at once as soon as they got a taste of the “old normal.” My kiddo was depressed all afternoon and evening and when I offered faceTiming/Messenging she said she didn’t want to do that because “it’s just too sad because they are NOT ACTUALLY HERE.” It was hard and she’s a really well-adjusted kid so it was hard on me to see her like that.
CPA Lady says
A few thoughts for you OP. Feel free to take it with a grain of salt or tell me to stuff it…
The better shape you are in, the better and longer you will be able to help your family and your clients. It might seem selfish to prioritize taking care of yourself, but it is the best thing you can do right now, IMO.
1. Can you think of specific things that would lower your stress level? e.g. “I need to not be able to hear my 3 year old screaming” “I need to not have to reassure my au pair more than once a day”
2. Could you ask, specifically and clearly, for at least a couple of the things that would help? e.g. “Au pair, when little kid starts screaming, please take her to the play room and shut the door.” or “Au pair, I need to focus on work right now, but I would be happy to talk to you about your concerns at lunch time”
3.We all pretty much went into this thinking it was going to be a sprint, but it is turning out that it will most likely be a marathon and need to adjust our strategies. A lot of the time this involves mental shifts like shifting to acceptance rather than resistance and letting go of guilt for asking for things you need or taking care of yourself. And sometimes it’s trying to do less each day (and accept that rather than wallowing in guilt over it) so you keep the strength to do more over time– pace yourself, whatever that looks like in your life.
4. Maybe a mantra would help when you start spiraling. “I am doing all that I can do.” Something like that helps me when I’m spiraling over something that is (largely) out of my control.
5. Do whatever you need to do to get some sleep. Everything seems worse when you are sleep deprived. Your decision making skills suffer. Anxiety skyrockets. You’re more likely to get sick. Take a long hot bath at night. Listen to a soothing guided meditation in bed. I love the ones on the insight timer app by Sarah Blondin. She’s great and talks a lot about getting through difficult situations. If you are religious there’s a prayer that I really like from the New Zealand prayer book called “A Prayer Before Sleep” that has a section in it that goes “It is night after a long day. What has been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done; let it be.” Things like that help me when I’m struggling to sleep because of stressful situations.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with all of this, especially that sleep is so so important right now! OP, are you seeing a therapist? If not, it might be time to set up a virtual appointment if you can, or even try to reach out to your GP, to see if there is some medication you can take to help with the anxiety. This situation is obviously stressful for everyone, but you need to be able to take care of yourself as best as you can.
I’m trying to take it day by day and try not to spiral too much about thinking that this will last forever. We’ve more or less settled into a routine in terms of taking turns for work and childcare. But also acknowledging my grief about everything that is now not how I expected, as that article said.
Anonymous says
Not doing great TBH. My 4 year old is misbehaving like crazy— lashing out physically both at us and his younger sibling, crossing all small boundaries as well. I know things have been tough on him, but they’ve been tough on all of us and I just don’t have the patience I should for him, so I’m snapping and yelling at him more than I’d like.
I tried a group zoom date with friends and honestly it made me feel even more isolated and alone. I was the only one on the group juggling two parents full time WFH+ (Partner is an attorney and does more than FT) while watching young kids and no one understood how crazy hard this is.
Anonymous says
+1 to your last paragraph. I know it’s not the suffering Olympics and everyone has their challenges (and there are lots of people suffering much more than me right now!), but I’ve found my group chats with friends in different situations have not been good for my mental health. It’s really difficult to listen to the discussion about filling the time and streaming endless TV when I’m trying so hard, and failing, to balance the needy and anxious kids with the needy and anxiety-inducing workloads of me and my spouse.
When will this all be over??
Anonymous says
10:39 here. I’m so thankful for this site, always, but especially the past two weeks.
Anon says
All the plus ones to your last paragraph. I live in a large Texas city and my kids are at private school. I know one other woman who’s in a two parent full time working situation (know several realtors or interior designers or artists but just not the same). At work there’s a couple people in my boat but most have no kids or just one. This was already super isolating and now it just feels even more so!
anon says
I agree that this has ramped up my working-mom isolation. Most of my close friends are in very part-time jobs. Even if they’re still WFH, they seem to have a LOT of downtime. It’s sometimes an issue even when things are “normal,” but it feels really patronizing/annoying now when they compare their setups to mine.
anne-on says
+1, I LOVE my WFH mom friends, but it is NOT the same (and they simply can’t sympathize in the same way) with the issues of 2 parents trying to work full time and homeschool. Added to that the fact that we’re quite worried about one or both of our jobs being impacted and it is just rough.
Quite frankly though I’ve never been so happy that I still work, it’s unlikely we’ll both be unemployed at the same time, and even if we were, my earnings have let us build up waaay more of a nest egg.
Trying Not To Cry says
‘m not doing well, but I’m intent on making today better. Yesterday I lost my sh*t at DH for really no reason and said some mean things (and he fired back equally mean, which is what it is), which set a terrible tone for the day. We’re staying in a ST-furnished rental (moved to city a few months ago and opted for this option while house hunting), so not even in our own space. We also put our pup down last week, after he’s dealt with a terminal illness for a few months. There’s more here but I can’t even write about it without tearing up.
Feels like everything I wanted to think through this year – home ownership, trying for a second kid, is on hold. (The latter because DH and I need to have an earnest discussion about it and no one is in a good headspace right now). I know these are high-class problems at the moment.
Upsides – MOST IMPORTANTLY so far, my family is okay, 2-year-old thinks this is a BLAST, and although I’m essential, I’m employed and in a role where I can work from home. We also take a walk everyday and it’s something we never get to do usually with DH’s work hours.
GCA says
Massive hugs, solidarity, and plus one million to feeling like your life is on hold. Sending strength.
DH has now graduated directly into a recession for the second time (PhD) and this is a terrible time to be looking for a job. (But also, everyone else is in the same boat!) I’ve been primary or sole breadwinner for 11 years now and I’m exhausted.
But: I’m still employed, for now, and can work from home. I have marketable skills. The kids keep each other company and they’re pretty happy, despite the disruption to their daily lives. We’re spending more time with them and still getting outside for runs and bike rides and fresh air. The weather is getting nicer. It’ll have to be enough.
Anonymous says
I almost hate to say this, but I’m doing well. I’m getting less sleep than I’d prefer, and I miss going places (like places where they make me coffee!). But my daughter (4) is loving this, and we’re embracing the one-on-one time with her as we take shifts working and playing with her. We’ve found a schedule that works and lets us both get exercise, which is 100% necessary for my mental health right now. Our jobs and clients understand that everyone is juggling, and neither of us are the type to feel like we can’t say no or stand up for our home obligations when scheduling meetings, etc. We’re both very tired, but it’s Friday, and we can get more sleep this weekend.
Annonny says
My 3 1/2 month old baby is refusing to nurse. He will take a bottle of breastmilk but he fusses about that too. I can get him to nurse during the middle of night but during the day its a struggle. He seems to have chest congestion but his nasal passage looks clear. I’m at a loss as to what to do. I really don’t want to exclusively pump if I don’t have to. Any ideas? I’ve tried nursing in quiet dark places, bouncing, etc. It works sometimes but not always.
Annonny says
FYI we did start giving him one bottle before bed at 6 weeks. Not sure if he’s just gotten used to the bottle?
Anon says
Is it possible he has an ear infection? That can make it painful for them to lay on their side to nurse. If that’s the case I’d think you’d also be seeing sleep issues (though at 3 months that can be hard to tell.)
Anonymous says
Try Tylenol a half hour before nursing. He may be an early teether.
Anonymous says
Call the pediatrician, especially if he seems to have chest congestion. A baby refusing to eat at the breast OR bottle is a big issue they want to see your child for. I don’t mean to insight panic, but if he’s not getting enough liquid he could get dehydrated quickly.
Anonanonanon says
If he has chest congestion, the most important thing right now is to get him hydration, however he’ll take it, and as anonymous said, this warrants a call to the pediatrician if it’s truly chest congestion and not mucousy throat congestion.
Anon says
I’m sorry! Around that age my baby rejected the breast and a bottle at various times in different ways. It is so stressful! Call your pediatrician and know that sometimes these things DO pass. Keep trying different things and take care of yourself too.
Anonymous says
All of the above suggestions and lots of sympathy!
However… nursing strikes can strike for no apparent reason and then just… go away. My youngest decided to have a nursing strike on thanksgiving weekend… literally would not nurse all weekend… and on Monday was totally back to normal. He was 6 mos and continued nursing FT until ~12 mos. Weird. Pump as much as you need to but don’t feel bad if you need to sub in formula here and there.
WWYD? says
Morning! I wanted to crowdsource some thoughts from this group on summer camp/childcare scenarios. We had signed up for summer camp through my son’s private preschool. We received information that the preschool is converting to care for essential healthcare worker kids and made the decision to pull him out through May. Today we learned that we also need to make a decision on summer camp next week. Other factors: welcomed a newborn during all this (3 weeks today!), my husband is essential (military-not healthcare) and will be going into work starting next week, and I was laid off shortly before this mess so no job I need to go back to….I should plan to keep both kids at home through the summer and find a babysitter if needed. Right? I figure that the economy is tanked so I might as well use my unemployment and apply jobs for that seem a decent option and might start in the fall. I never really pictured being a stay at home (and homebound) mom for an extended period with two kids but here we are. I am just a little overwhelmed by all the changes so would appreciate any thoughts or advice.
Anonymous says
Yes if you’re unemployed don’t spend money on childcare.
Pogo says
The economy is tanked, for sure. I think it will be akin to ’08-09. I wouldn’t not job hunt, but I would plan to be home for awhile and get a babysitter as needed.
anon says
I think it makes sense to stay home for awhile.
Anon says
We are all taking it day by day. Hang in there. I think many people will need to adjust their career plans and sense of identity, at least for a while. So hard!
I don’t think it’s worthwhile to look at summer camps now.
WWYD? says
Thanks all. I will withdraw him from summer camp, which seems the safer option with an infant anyway and I don’t “need” the spot anymore. As always, appreciate this sounding board.
DLC says
I’m currently unemployed as well (work in the arts as a freelancer). I typically don’t book a lot of work in the summer so that I can stay at home with my kids and not have to do the whole summer camp thing. At the same time, summer camp isn’t an all or nothing scenario. Every year, when I get closer to summer, I find there are often one or two week camps still with openings and I will enroll my oldest in a week of camp here and there to give us a break from each other.
Anonymous says
a related question. My oldest is in extended day. They haven’t charged us since the schools closed in mid-march. My youngest is in daycare, part time. They charged for the 2 weeks in March (we’d already paid). They are asking for 50% of April’s tuition, which will be applied as a credit when they are allowed to re-open (hopefully May) and used to float the business in the meantime.
My middle goes to preschool part time. Her tuition is $600/month. They have charged for March, and just notified us that they want 50% of April as well, even though they will not be opening any earlier than May. This is not going to be applied as a credit of any kind.
Part of me says, it’s only $300. My family isn’t under the kind of financial strain (yet) where this matters in the grand scheme of things. But I know that’s not the case across the school.
The other half of me is irate that they are just expecting families to keep paying given all the federal and state level help being thrown at unemployment. The teachers are all part time (no benefits to be had/ not had). It’s nondenominational but run out of a church (so they have overhead, but it’s all shared with the church). They aren’t doing any kind of online learning at all. We’ve heard next to nothing from them until now, in an email saying “we’re all in this together now please pay us.” No mention of “if you are experiencing a hardship please let us know.”
Thoughts? If I only had one kid and no comparison data points I may not be as mad.
CHL says
I am generally a flight or freeze person, not a fight person, so I don’t usually experience the “mad” response but I’ll just say that we’re planning to pay for our full pre-school tuition through April because we love our school (daycare) and we can (right now) It sucks. It sucks for them, it sucks for us, none of it is fair, but I generally respect the leadership and I think this is something I can do to keep an institution I care about afloat. No one is making money on this. But if you can’t afford it or you don’t like the institution, you don’t have to do it.
anne-on says
If you don’t pay will they keep your spot? If the answer is no, and you need the spot, you need to pay. It stinks, but it is what it is. In our HCOL area with few daycares the in-demand ones would charge you to ‘hold’ your spot a month or two before you needed to start. It stinks, but it is what it is.
If you can’t afford it though I would absolutely reach out and let them know and ask for help.
Anonymous says
We’re still paying for full-time preschool/daycare because otherwise we’re not guarenteed the spots that we’ll need when things ramp back up again. Yeah, it sucks, and I would rather have that $1800 in my bank account, but it’s a bad situation for everyone involved.
Anonymous says
The year only runs through June 15, which they may not even open for. And she’s going to K next year.
My younger kid is going next year but she’s separate and already has a deposit down.
Anon says
Random tip: if you have any family photo albums or books of vacation photos, they are excellent for younger toddler entertainment. My 2 y.o. spent all morning narrating a book of photos from a trip to Thailand a few years back. “Elephants!! Mommy feed elephant! Mommy wash elephant! Daddy Mommy hug elephant! Daddy Mommy on boat! Daddy lie down ocean! Daddy wet! Daddy need towel!” Etc… Then she rounded up her stuffed elephants so she could “read” them the elephant parts again ?
GCA says
thank you, this was exactly the giggle I needed!
layered bob says
We pay our nanny on the books, and pay into the state unemployment insurance program as required in our state. My husband is laid off and I’m working from home, so we don’t really need the nanny. If we let her go, can she file for unemployment? We’ll need her back when my husband’s job comes back in July, so we were going to try to hang on to her, maybe with a reduced hours scenario, but I’m wondering if just laying her off and letting her file for unemployment would be a better move. I don’t know much about how that works, and my state’s website is less than helpful.
octagon says
Yes, you can either lay her off or call it a furlough if you both expect she will come back in July. She can file for unemployment in the meantime. Also, thanks for paying her on the books, this would really stink for her if the state didn’t know about her employment.
Anonymous says
You certainly can. But she may not be willing to come back.
Anon says
It’s possible she may make more with the new federal UI program. Try to find a weekly UI calculator for your state, add $600, take this information to her and talk to her. She might appreciate that she could basically get a paid vacation or time with her family and have a job waiting for her at the end of this.
Anonymous says
Also, unemployment is often really low.