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Anonymous says
Anyone deal with severely holding in poops? Our 3.5-year-old daughter is having a time. She’s clearly scared to go, which is making her hold it, which makes it harder, which scares her more, etc. She won’t eat vegetables (even corn! Who is this child?), but we’ve tried upping other fiber via more fruits and beans, Activia, Benefiber mixed with applesauce, etc. I think she needs more fluids but I can’t really make her drink. I sent an email to our pediatrician but I thought I’d see if anyone had recommendations, particularly on the fear aspect. I’ve been pretty gentle with her and go in with her to “help her be brave” (thanks Daniel Tiger!). She seems to only be afraid of the pain– she loves flushing the poop down– but she’s also surprisingly prim about it? Any time I try to bring up the subject at all she says “I don’t want to talk about that.” We were a little sterner last month when she kept hiding and pooping in her underwear, which seemed the right tack at the time but now apparently has led to her just deciding never to go at all, so… whoops!
HSAL says
Miralax? That worked for my niece with similar problems when she was around that age. That’ll make it much easier to go without pain.
Anonymous says
We are having this problem too (same age) and I don’t get it!! She’s been potty-trained for awhile and used to be the most enthusiastic pooper, would go everywhere, and I don’t understand what has changed and why she is suddenly so reluctant.
Anonymous says
+1 miralax from the doctor for a while until she gets used to going regularly. Then probiotics to keep her regular and you shouldn’t need the miralax. It may take trying a few different ones to see what works best for her system as everyone’s biome is different. Many don’t work for me but there is one specific one that suits my system (OTC, not pricey).
And for my twin who tends towards constipation, I do have to make him drink a certain amount of water every day. It was hard at first, but once he realized I was serious about no dessert or playtime until his water was gone, he complied.
Ashley says
We’ve had decent luck with constipation by adding daily probiotics and getting toddler to drink more liquids by offering drinks in novelty cups (mommy’s water bottle, funny large/brightly colored straw, etc.). But my kiddo is a bit younger so unfortunately I don’t have any advice on the fear aspect. This sounds so frustrating. Good luck!!!
Butter says
Lots and lots of Miralax (doc said to get it as soft as possible to cut down on chance of pain for awhile) + bribes + books (there are a few about pooping, all horrifying, some helpful) + when it got really crazy I would lock myself and kiddo in the bathroom until he went. Super calm, no talking, I just sat on the floor and waited him out. Our poop journey took like 6 months to resolve in full, so sending support.
AwayEmily says
We dealt with this for months during potty training. It sucked. Here is what worked for us. First, we got things loosened up — Miralax every night in her evening milk, an enema the two or three times things got really bad, and plenty of smoothies.
But the big shift came when we changed our attitude around it. We had been SO anxious and she was picking up on that stress, and it was making everything worse. We made an executive decision to just not care (well, to ACT like we didn’t care). So we’d say things like “Poop goes in the potty and we trust you to go when you need to.” When she’d start wailing about having to go poop but not wanting to, we’d just read the newspaper and say “poop goes in the potty, we trust you to go when you need to” (as opposed to our previous approach of reading her endless books about pooping, bribing her to sit on the potty, giving her our phones, etc). This worked in just a few days (I will note that those few days involved her pooping on our bed once and on our couch once, so they were not an EASY few days). And since then she has never had a problem.
I will caveat by saying that I think my kid is especially sensitive to adult cues on how to feel about stuff, so our anxiety was really doing a number on her, but if your kid is similar it might be worth trying.
Anon DC says
100% this re: parental attitudes. Our experience this summer was the same. It got better when we were much more nonchalant. Also miralax. We also bought some “fancy” frozen underwear and had to throw out a few pairs bc of pooping in them, daughter was not pleased.
Anon says
If you add too much fibre too quickly, it can actually cause constipation. I would back off on the beans, unless she really likes them.
anon says
For our 3.5 yo, it’s really important that we’re consistent with whatever we’re doing so that her system stays balanced. Before we would up fiber when she had trouble, but then forget to keep it up and she’d have trouble all over again. It was a bad cycle. Now she gets two fiber gummies a day and we’re good. But if we miss a day, there’s trouble.
Whatever you decide, I’d make sure that it’s sustainable and consistent.
AnotherAnon says
Yep. I didn’t want to use miralax but then my 2 y/o (boy) held his poop for two weeks. He needed an enema. After that, I decided miralax was better than having to do the enema ordeal again. FWIW, this was before he was fully potty trained.
Anon says
Miralax and candy for pooping. And butt paste literally on the butt-h*le because it hurts.
CPA Lady says
The only thing that worked for us (and we tried literally EVERYTHING everyone suggests) was consistent daily doses of miralax at high enough doses that she couldn’t hold it and it was not painful to go. It took months. She needed to learn to trust that going would not hurt. I kept trying to lower her dose and wean her off and it made a difficult situation way more terrible than it needed to be because every time I tried to back off it would hurt her and she didn’t understand and would start withholding again.
Also I gave her candy as a reward every single time she pooped so she would associate going poop on the toilet with something positive. This flies in the face of every single thing I thought I believed in re: food/ rewards/ bribes/ etc. but it was extremely effective and I was beyond desperate. We also got the books “Everyone Poops” and “Softy the Poop” and read them regularly to help her understand that pooping is a normal fact of life.
The whole situation was awful and out of ever regrettable thing I’ve ever done as a parent, the biggest thing I regret was completely losing my temper with how frustrating the situation was one night and yelling at my kid in a way that was completely unacceptable. It’s so frustrating. And I think I was really angry with myself because I was so hesitant to give her miralax and it was really my fault that she was in so much pain for so long.
Anon says
Sorry you are going through this, we did too with our son. Like many others we also did Miralax although to be honest that didn’t help his underlying issue of just being really afraid of going poop. I wish I had better advice but it honestly just took our son time to grow out of it. (And we tried ALL the bribes, the not doing bribes, the talking about it, the ignoring it, everything). One day when he was a little past 4 he just all of a sudden started going like it was a non issue after a year of torture.
Anonymous says
Way late to this thread, but for one of my kids, nothing worked but straight up bribery. It was a matter of finding something she wanted *more*. For my kid, it was chocolate for breakfast. We used that bribe for pooping and also for getting out of bed at night. We reminded her how to get the chocolate and hey, one day, she did it! And then kept doing it! And eventually we stopped having chocolate for breakfast :-)
EB says
We are flying with our 2 year old over the holidays and I need a cheap foldable stroller – recommendations? Not sure if I should just spend $25 on whatever pops up on Amazon or there is something specific I should spend a little more on. Thanks!!
Anonymous says
If you are in an urban area, see if you can find a used Maclaren or Uppababy G Lite – they are ubiquitous.
EB says
Awesome. Found one on FB marketplace. Gonna start with that and if it doesn’t work, I’ll look at some of the other suggestions!
Anon says
Foldable enough to go in the overhead bin? I know those exist, but I think you’re going to have a hard time finding one for $25. We have the Summer Infant 3-D Lite, which we love for travel. It has to be gate-checked though. It’s ~$80 and has held up well to lots of airplane travel.
Anon says
This. After one disastrous trip that resulted in the airline paying for a new full-size stoller, we now exclusively travel with the Summer Infant 3-D Lite. Not sure what we’ll do if we’re ever traveling with an infant again from a stroller perspective, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
AwayEmily says
People love the Summer Infant one — we considered getting it but when we looked at the actual weight, it turns out it’s only 5 pounds lighter than our Britax B-Agile (aka our normal stroller), and harder to fold, so we decided to just go with the B-Agile. So, I don’t have a specific recommendation, just advice to check the actual weight of the “nicer” umbrella strollers because some of them aren’t actually all that light.
I’ve seen lots of umbrella strollers at Marshalls and TJ Maxx — might be worth checking those out rather than rolling the dice on Amazon.
2 Cents says
Target has a $20 blue umbrella stroller that’s held up well for us.
Anon says
YMMV but I don’t know that weight actually matters much since you don’t lift it very often. Our priorities for a travel stroller were cheap enough that we didn’t care if it got lost or damaged but durable enough that we weren’t buying a new one every second trip.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, we used a $20 umbrella stroller from Toys R Us (RIP) and it held up well for the travel and still works. We also have the Summer Infant one, but agree that it’s not super light.
Anonymous says
This was exactly us except we have the CitiMiniGT. We have a cheap foldable umbrella stroller from Target or Walmart for travel. It was $19.99.
Em says
We have the Summer Infant 3D mini and have been happy with it. It’s only $45.
rosie says
We like the Summer Infant one mentioned above. It’s lighter and more compact than our UB Cruz. I like that it still has a small storage basket, a canopy, and seat reclines (bonus: reclined we can pile the Cosco Scenera Next and bags on it to get through the airport). I find the Summer Infant 3D comfortable to push (I’m 5’8”, my husband is a little taller and it’s ok for him to push but not the best).
You could get an umbrella stroller for about $20 from Target/Walmart/etc. but it probably won’t have any of those features and may be pretty low for you to push.
Anon says
Yes the Summer Infant is good for tall people! I’m 5’11” and it’s the only umbrella stroller I’ve ever tried that’s comfortable for me to push.
Anonymous says
Not cheap, but the Zoe stroller is an excellent combination of lightweight but still very functional.
Anonymous says
Jumping in late- try your local buy nothing group. Cheapie umbrellas are always on our free site! If you are in Boston I have 2 ;)
Anon says
We are traveling with our twins this Christmas (they will be 13 months). A month ago we did a 2 hour flight that was awful and so I’d like to get a kiddie tablet (ha, probably two). Any recommendations? We don’t do screen time right now.
Also open to the “you don’t need this, try x” comments, I don’t want the tablets to become a regular part of how we manage them (at least for now :) ).
Buble says
Kindle Fire. Best $100 we’ve spent as parents.
AwayEmily says
If you’re not going to use tablets regularly, I would just download some Daniel Tigers on your phone and get some kid headphones — that’s what we do on plane trips (we also don’t have any tablets).
Anon says
This – and you can use the accessibility settings in the iPhone (have yet to figure it out on the android) to limit their ability to exit the app or fiddle with the settings.
rosie says
I think it’s called pinning on Android, if you search for that plus your specific device, you should find instructions.
RR says
The Kindle Fire is a good entry tablet for kids. Or they make toy tablets as well–VTech, etc.
Em says
No recs on tablets, but the 6 Piece Tegu Pocket Pouch Magnetic Wooden Block Set was a lifesaver for our 3 1/2 year old on a long flight and at multiple restaurants while dining out on our recent vacation, and I think 13-month-olds would love them as well (and bonus, you will get years of use out of them). Honestly my husband and I found them pretty entertaining as well.
Anonymous says
Not the OP, but do you find that the 6 piece set is actually enough blocks to be worthwhile?
Em says
Yes, although I had the same skepticism. My son would play with them for most of a meal at a restaurant (and didn’t get bored with them at all during our 12 day trip), especially once he realized they would also magnet to silverware and coins. They include a pamphlet that shows how to make 100 or so animals with just those 6 blocks, but we didn’t even bring that, just played around with them. We don’t use them at home, but they are great for travel and restaurants.
Buddy Holly says
You know your kid best, but mine would not have used a tablet for more than 5 minutes at that age. And the worst trip we ever had was when kiddo was 14 months, so I really feel what you must have gone through on that last flight. Get the tablet if you think it will help, but I agree with the suggestion that downloading some apps or shows on your phone might be a better bet. Lots of small toys and fun objects (my kid really liked to have two empty cups from the flight attendants) worked better at that age. Also, recording small videos of the kids and then watching them. It gets a lot better as they get older and can look at screens and do some activity books. Unfortunately, at that age I had to be 100% attentive to kid during travel to keep them happy, otherwise they were fussing or screaming. It was exhausting.
octagon says
+1. Travel was just a miserable slog until about 22 months for us. I packed a bag with so many toys and books — estimates one for every five minutes on the plane plus 6-8 extras. I wrapped them like presents so opening each one was fun. Big hits were post-it notes, popsicle sticks and playing with the bows on the presents.
And I will be a dissenter on the Kindle Fire. Maybe we got a dud but the battery life was terrible, even in airplane mode, and it was so sluggish because of all the programming that comes with it that you can’t get off. I didn’t like that you can’t remove the FreeTime content so kiddo saw a ton of possible shows that were not age appropriate and then got mad when we said no. I hated it and bought a small iPad within a year.
anon says
DD did not reliably use tablets until probably 18 months. I think you’ll have better luck with lots of activities – I think at that age DD liked dumping out and playing with stuff in a plastic water bottle for example.
Also my two cents – I hate our fire tablet. Ours is unreliable (it will decide to update on a road trip without wifi and there’s no way to exit the update), and I find the interface difficult. Also (unless I’m missing something) there’s no way to lock the screen on the fire tablet, so DD would constantly touch it on car rides and then I’d have to start the show again. I much prefer using an old iphone for this to our fire tablet.
Anonymous says
My twins wouldn’t tolerate screens for more than a few minutes at that age. A few new dollar store toys for surprises on the plane usually worked. Plus lots of books with flaps and things to touch. We also walked up and down the aisle every half hour or so. If they were tired, I carried them in the ergo. At that age, just looking at other people is entertaining. If they weren’t tired, I held their hands and helped them walk. Using diaper wipes to ‘clean’ the table tray was also a popular activity. Plus lots of snacks.
I usually wore my ergo and they would nap in that if needed. They may make you unbuckle the shoulder straps and remove your arms for take off and landing but I could usually manage that without waking the baby.
Emily S. says
All the snacks. 13 months is a hard age for in-flight toys like coloring. I enjoyed the Tegu blocks mentioned above (more than my kids!) Also recommend Melissa and Doug Water Wow! books but 13 months might be a little young.
Do you have a layover? If you do, or want to kill time before boarding, my daughter loved putting window clings on the giant windows while we waited to board. That plus looking at planes and other people occupied her for some time. Good luck with the flight!
Anonymous says
My twins also weren’t into screens at that age. We did an 8.5-hour flight when they are 13.5 months and just packed tons of activities and snacks so we could pull out something new every 30-60 minutes. Major hits were sticker books, playdoh, little bags/boxes they could put things into/take them out of, books, and colorwonder markers, plus the age-old trips up and down the aisles.
Flights with young kids are hard and exhausting, because you’re working to entertain them the entire time. We found it got a lot better around 2, when they started having longer attention spans (for screentime, but also for other activities). We did the same 8.5 flight at 22 months and it was great.
Also, regardless of how much you plan, sometimes flights just go horrible and, in my experience, with twins that happens more often just because there’s two kids, so if each is a mess 1 flight out of 5, you end up have a disaster kid on almost half your flights. It’s hard and stressful at the time, but no one else will remember it the next day.
Anon says
Not yet a mom but my observation is kids tend to be better behaved for people that are not their parent and are more likely to appreciate a “gift” if it is from someone other than the parent. (Though I get you don’t want to teach your kids to accept stuff from strangers but you are there to give permission.) I tend to travel w/ a coloring book and crayons and if I’m seated next to a child they are usually very excited to color with me even if they would not want to color with mom. Now, I can’t suggest you talk your seatmate into coloring w/ your kiddo but maybe you could give the coloring book or dollar store toy to the seatmate to give kiddo, or it will all be your family seated their, to the flight attendant to give your kiddo at the appropriate time. It might get your more mileage (ha, no pun intended) from the new shiny thing.
My best friend’s 3 year old will do ANYTHING I ask her to but will pitch a fit if mom asks her to if they are at my house. So I take her to go potty, I put her jacket on when it is time to leave, I take her to the car and there are no tears. If mom does it, it is melt down city.
So, my biggest advice is to see if a kind stranger will offer to back you up on stuff. I generally don’t tell strange people’s kids what to do but if their mom said “feel free to tell them to stop touching you or tell them they have to sit” I’d be more than happy to help.
Anon says
It is very kind of you to travel with a colorbook and crayons for kids, I’m sure the parents you meet hugely appreciate it. That said, 99.99% of adults on airplanes do not have coloring books with them, and a very sizable percentage have no interest whatsoever in your children. As a mom, who also flies solo a fair amount, I think it’s very rude to expect a seatmate to participate in any way in entertaining your child. I think trying to involve a flight attendant is even worse – they’re working and their job is ensuring the safety and comfort of hundreds of passengers, not babysitting. I would honestly be so offended on behalf of the flight attendant if I saw a mom hand a flight attendant crayons and a coloring book and ask her to give them to the kids at the appropriate time.
shortperson says
my 13 months old lasted longer with a roll of masking tape and some paper scraps than a tablet at that age.
Anon says
OP here — thanks all for the recs! And I agree that it’s hard to count on nice strangers to help out kids on flights but….we’ve always had them? Partly bc we always fly the airline that make folks pick their own seats, so people who don’t want to be near babies tend to not be near us. Wrapped up toys that we can give them or toys that people can give them might work. Will look into those blocks mentioned as well. This community is just so awesome.
Anonymous says
SW is great in that regard! We had one flight where we got on with family boarding and sat down in a row with our 4.5-month-old twins and the man sitting in front of us took one look at our family and immediately moved to a far away row.
Anonymous says
Has anyone found the perfect method to store away all the paintings and crafts brought home from school? I chuck some of it but there’s others I want to keep – so far its just going in a storage bin but I’d like to organize it year maybe?
Anon says
We’re only in the preschool stage, but at least for what comes home from preschool we take a picture and pitch it. Eventually I think I will keep one box per kid (maybe with a date written on the back of the piece) for stuff we want to keep, but otherwise take pictures of it and (maybe) print a photo book of her artwork each year? Like I said, we’re not there yet, but I don’t want to be my mother storing boxes and boxes of objectively terrible artwork.
Anonymous says
No. But I regret not adding a date to items before dumping things into the box where I held onto my kids art. I tend to go through the art from time to time to see what I still want to keep.
Mrs. Jones says
+1 to photograph and pitch it. We keep a very few items that are special.
SG says
I keep the handprint/footprint stuff (put it in her album) and some seasonal items that can go up in the house. I offload some to grandparents (only grandchild) and ditch the rest. We are in preschool.
Emily S. says
I’m not sure it is perfect, but I take a picture of everything and upload it to a dedicated album. I keep genuine crafts projects on paper and toss random coloring pages. Then, at the beginning of the next school year, I keep my favorites and let DD tell me what she loves/is proud of, and that goes into page protectors in a 4 inch binder. The rest is tossed. The idea is that at the end of daycare/preschool, I’ll make one photo book of artwork with photos of her and her friends and the binder will keep growing until she outgrows art classes or projects. It is a lot to keep up with. What’s helped me is the distance of time — I’m sentimental, so if I tried to decide what to keep as it came in, I would need 5 times the storage space. Waiting until the start of the next year helps me decide that I don’t need the entire alphabet in construction paper. I keep a magazine holder in the kitchen for each kid so that it goes from their backpack to the holder each day and isn’t allowed to sit on the kitchen counter for days. I also display some stuff on the fridge, but usually only for a few days.
Anonymous says
I take digital photos, sometimes frame my favorite thing from that year and hang it up, also just tape up 4 or 5 of my favorites in the play area (these rotate frequently), trash the rest. We get a big batch at the end of the year sent home from school/daycare, so I am thinking of trying Artkive for those.
Anon says
I take a picture of it all, upload the pictures to Artkive, and toss 90% of it (strategically after you are sure they won’t bring it up again and try not to let them see it in the garbage/recycling, whoops!). I put the 10% we keep just all in a bin per kid, but I do add the year to the picture. At some point I’ll probably have to re-go through them and toss even more.
I pay a small annual fee for Artkive, but it pushes a digital album with each download to the grandparents and they seem to really enjoy it (more than I would have guessed). Also organizes the pics by kid by year if you ever want to scroll through.
The struggle to keep up with ALL the art work is real!
Anon says
Oh man, I feel ya. I’m beyond annoyed at all of the art that comes home. My son is in pre-k and I recently went through all of the art and pulled the ones I want to keep. When he leaves this school, I plan to get a book made out of everything I’ve kept.
I was also super annoyed when my parents recently gave me a box of all of my art from when I was in preschool/elementary school. Seriously, what am I supposed to do with this?
I am very intriqued by the artkive thing; i’ll have to look into that.
AwayEmily says
In the spring/summer, we often go to a playground after daycare and let the kids run around a bit before going home. But this is no longer possible now that it’s dark at 4:30. Any ideas for after-school get-your-wiggles-out activities? We’re looking at the 5pm-6:15pm range. So far we have done:
– Library (there’s one in the area that is more running-around-friendly than most)
– Turning off the lights upstairs and playing flashlight hide and seek
– Grocery store (this one was wildly unsuccessful)
– Night walks (again with flashlights)
Anon says
We go to the mall and do laps (there’s also an indoor playplace in the mall but we’re avoiding it for now because of germs). My husband also takes our daughter to Walmart, does a quick shopping trip and then they play in the toy aisle for a while. Kind of weird, but I’m ok with it as long as they don’t come home with a new toy every time.
Anon says
I took my 2YO out to dinner to a kid’s eat free on Tuesdays restaurant (lots of wiggling in the booth) and then we ran errands at home depot and target and I typically have her “help” me push the cart.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Following, as we’re running into this dilemma on the weekends too for that after nap, pre dinner time routine. Weeknights involve a lot of the 3.5 year old running around the kitchen table, running downstairs then upstairs, and me trying to keep up with a non-walking toddler in tow.
GCA says
oh gosh yes! the weekend dead zone between 3pm and 5pm…in winter when it’s dark at 4. we also do dance parties.
what about Cosmic Kids yoga? Friday night takeout potluck playdates? if you live in a larger house than I do – obstacle course?
Cb says
Ugh, this is so difficult. My son sleeps from 1-3 and it’s dark by the time he’s up from his nap and ready to go (Scotland…). We’ve been going for walks in our relatively well-lit neighbourhood but it’s painful.
AwayEmily says
This is too much work for the weekday, but I’ve been thinking of trying the YMCA swimming pool for the weekend afternoon dead zone.
Anon says
We do a 30 min pool lesson on Tuesdays. It’s glorious bedtime that day.
Anonymous says
Dance party to kids/Disney movie songs. Pandora has a good channel for this, and after about a year of thumbs upping/downing, it’s pretty spot-on at our house for this kind of thing.
ElisaR says
dance parties for sure! also running around our (fairly small) basement with a kiddie basketball hoop.
Anonymous says
Our toddler loves shovelling snow, and the area around our front walkway/driveway is well lit.
Anonymous says
We have a fenced backyard so we just let them run around there with headlamps on Soccer net and t-ball stand keep them entertained until it snows and snow angels/snowmen building thereafter.
Anonymous says
Also when it’s really too miserable to go outside, I’ll grab a roll of painter’s tape and mark out a quick obstacle course on the hall and living room floor. Oldest kid is big enough to use a stop watch so they time each other.
Anon says
Those of you who have a dog and a spouse who travels for work, how do you do the morning dog walk when you’re the only adult? Is it safe to leave a sleeping toddler alone in the house while I walk the dog down the block or is that not ok? It’s inconvenient but I have the work flexibility to drop the toddler at school and go home to walk the dog, but I think the dog will go ahead and do her business inside (if she sees people leaving in the morning without getting a walk, she just goes inside as soon as the people are gone. It’s not the best situation but she’s 11 years old and we’ve accepted we can’t re-potty train her at this point.)
Lily says
Do you have a nest camera or other camera in the toddler’s room that you can view live from your phone? If so, personally, I would feel comfortable going up to a block away (max 3-4 minutes) while watching toddler on the phone continuously.
octagon says
Can you take the dog with you in the car for drop-off? Otherwise I’d probably do the walk as far as your monitor will let you still listen. When I’m in your shoes I will do a quick walk for bathroom business before dropoff and then a longer one for exercise when I return.
Anon says
It seems obvious, but I hadn’t thought of this. This should work, thanks!
Anonymous says
This is a great idea. I used to do this when I dropped my sister to class during college. Our older dog LOVED the excitement of going along for the ride. I’d be way more comfortable leaving a dog in a car for a few minutes at drop off vs. a toddler alone in the house.
HSAL says
I used to be very “they’re in the house asleep, they’re fine.” But then someone (maybe here?) pointed out that the risk is not directly to your child, but to you. If you were hit by a car or a tree branch fell on your head, how long before someone could get to your child? Maybe it’s paranoid, but I won’t go past my mailbox.
Anon says
This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, because I don’t think you necessarily incur extra risk just by going outside (especially if isn’t snowy/icy or lightning). It seems to me you’re just as likely, if not more likely, to get injured inside your house as outside of it (I’m thinking of all the times I’ve tripped over a toy and almost fallen down the stairs). And if you’re injured and incapacitated, your child isn’t being cared for, regardless of whether you’re lying on the neighbor’s lawn or the living room floor. If anything, if you’re outside, people will likely come and help you relatively quickly and inside I feel like I could be there for hours if I couldn’t reach a phone.
HSAL says
I don’t necessarily disagree. And I think the poster who texts someone when she goes out and comes back might have found the sweet spot. But that’s my comfort level – at home I’m probably less likely to be seriously injured and able to get to my phone, and if I’m outside, hit by a car or something, I might not be able to tell someone I have a child alone at home.
LadyNFS says
I am admittedly extra paranoid about these things, but I live on a high floor apartment building and while I may walk down the hall to the trash or something similar, I won’t go down the street or say to the gym, use the gym in my building lobby like other parents because in my mind, the worst-case scenario is fire. If there is a fire in the building and I am not in the apartment or able to get there within 30 seconds, I shudder to think of what could happen. Yes, there is a chance of a fire and I could be in the apartment and still not be aware / get out, but it’s my motivation for not leaving my sleeping toddler inside.
Anon says
Here’s the thing though…if something happens to you when you are outside, to the point where it has to come out to someone assisting you that you left your child at home unattended, I’m not a cop or a lawyer but wouldn’t that put you in immediate risk of CPS getting involved and who knows where that could go?
vs. if you were injured at home that is not a factor. That’s what makes the two things different.
AnotherAnon says
First, I read this as your dog travels for work. :) Good for him! But seriously, this might be a hot take, but when one of us is traveling, the other is comfortable leaving our sleeping kid in his bed while we run (3 miles) for about 30 minutes. I will text my neighbor or mom when I leave and when I get back. If I were literally walking the dog down the block, I probably wouldn’t bother. But we live on a cul de sac with mostly retired people. You cannot run your leaf blower without the unofficial neighborhood association commenting on it, so I feel like people are watching out for us. It’s also very low crime here: I’d be concerned about a smash and grab, but that’s it. When we lived in the city, I would not have left my kid alone in the house.
Anonymous says
Wow. Just. Stunned. So inappropriate
AwayEmily says
I don’t know if “inappropriate” is the right word. Maybe “surprising”? I mean, not a LOT of dogs work, but obviously since we see dogs in movies (Air Bud, etc) then that implies some work as actors, and then of course there are police dogs. I certainly would not let MY dog be a working professional (I’m too busy to drive him to gigs) but I wouldn’t judge someone else’s choice to do so.
Anon says
Hahaha AwayEmily.
ElisaR says
lol AwayEmly
NYCer says
How old is your kid? OP said she has a toddler. I cannot imagine any scenario in which I would leave a toddler sleeping alone in the house for 30 min, regardless of how safe the neighborhood is. That is a LONG time.
FWIW, I also wouldn’t take the dog for a walk with a sleeping toddler at home. Just a short pop outside to go to the bathroom, and then either hire a dog walker or take the dog for a longer walk later.
HSAL says
Oh, in my head the child was in a crib. If the child is not contained in a crib or pack and play, I would absolutely not leave the house, even for a couple minutes.
Anonymous says
A stranger breaking and entering isn’t my biggest concern with leaving a toddler in the house alone. I’d be more concerned that he’d slip and hit his head on the bathtub, fall down the stairs, turn the stove on, pull something heavy from a shelf onto himself, etc. and I wouldn’t be there to respond quickly. In your situation, your mom or neighbour would probably be none the wiser that your kid was injured.
OP – If you have a fenced yard, just let the dog out into the yard to do their morning ablutions and don’t worry so much about their exercise for the few days your solo parenting. Otherwise I’d probably come back to the house after daycare drop-off.
Anon says
Unfortunately our dog will not do the kind of business she needs to do in the morning if we just let her outside (even though we have a fenced yard). It’s very annoying. I definitely don’t need to give her a long walk for exercise, but I do need to walk her to get her to do her business, which will probably take 5-10 minutes. I hadn’t thought of bringing her in the car with me to school, I might do that.
Anon says
Will the dog chase a ball around the yard? I’ve had luck with that for our dogs.
Anon says
If the toddler is asleep in a crib, the risk of them rampaging around the house seems really small. It’s highly unlikely they’d both figure out how to escape the crib AND open the bedroom door on the same day when they’re already sleeping soundly. Personally, I’d be most concerned about a fire or something like that, so I wouldn’t want the house to be out of my sight. But I’d be comfortable with a dog walk down the block.
shortperson says
i dont see the problem as long as someone nearby knows whats going on and kid is in a crib.
Anonymous says
I leave my kids to go to the mailbox (one house down, 3-5 mins max), or outside to shovel snow or do yardwork if I have the monitor with me. They are 5 and 8. FWIW, we let our 8 year old play with her friends in the green space behind our house unsupervised so we’re not exactly helicoptery types.
Presumably, the dog walking would be in the morning before toddler wake up so I would be concerned that toddler wakes up when you are not there and panics or hurts themselves. Also depends on house layout – front door closing in the morning would definitely wake my kids but I can sneak into the backyard via the backdoor for a coffee without waking them.
ElisaR says
I keep seeing ads on fb for Sarah Flynt shoes. They are pricey but beautiful…. but I’ve never heard of them. Anybody have any insights?
Anonymous says
Anyone have suggestions for a high-calorie, low-sugar, shelf-stable snack that can be left at daycare? It needs to be nut-free, so that rules out little packages of peanut butter. If I can’t come up with anything better I’ll just default to crackers and applesauce, but I was hoping for something with more fat/protein.
octagon says
My kid likes the laughing cow cheese and pretzel snacks and they are shelf stable. Another option is meat sticks — Costco has small smoked chicken sticks that are a big hit and relatively high protein.
OP says
Thanks!
rosie says
Fig newtons? (I don’t know if this is for back up snack or in case of emergency, but I’ve heard that fig newtons are a good emergency food to keep around.) Happy Tot makes some protein/fiber bars, I think spinach and apple flavor, that go over well with my kid. I don’t have lots of pouch experience, but I wonder if there is some kind of pouch that fits these requirements nutritionally.
ElisaR says
not sure if it’s low sugar but the Made Good brand is nut-free and daycare safe by most rules and they supposedly have vegetable nutrients in there too (yeah I don’t really know what that means but I’m desperate with my picky eaters). My son loves the purple box granola bars.
Anonymous says
Can you send Wow butter? I think they have individual packets.
OP says
Ooh, thanks for this! I haven’t seen I individual packets of anything but peanut butter.
SC says
I have relatives who really like Moon Cheese. According to the website, it is just freeze-dried cheese, no other ingredients. It’s relatively high in calories, fat, and protein–the nutritional info says 6-7 pieces have 70 calories, 5 g of fat, 5 g of protein, 1 g of carb, and no sugar.
Lily says
Any fun ideas for activities to do with a one-year old at home that don’t require a ton of time to set up/clean up and can be done in 20 minutes or less? When we get home from daycare pickup/work on weekdays, we have about 20 minutes to do a diaper change and play with her toys before we have to make her dinner and do bathtime/bedtime. We read a lot already, usually in the morning and right before bed. I’d love to sneak in something creative, but don’t know what. Is she too young for crayons/finger paints? Any ideas appreciated!
Anon says
My daughter started to really get into crayons and stickers around 15-18 months. She also loves the dot markers/paints, which might be a little less messy than finger paints.
Is she walking or running yet? My toddler also loved playing “chase” or taking her little toys for “walks” around our house together once she was mobile.
Anon says
Crayola makes egg shaped crayons, or you could try Jumbo crayons. I think a year isn’t too early to start with that if kiddo is interested. Another mom I know puts globs of paint and a piece of paper inside a sealed ziploc and lets the kids “paint” but pushing around the paint from outside the bag. You could also sneak in bath crayons at bath time. I think we waited until 18 months for playdoh, but if yours isn’t at the put everything in her mouth stage and you’re there to supervise, I think it’d be OK. At 1 my kiddo was helping me bake too (dump in measuring cups, “help” stir, etc.) so if you wanted to do a quick box mix cookies or quickbread, that could be fun. I have also been known to get a bunch of different unbreakable cups, put down a beach towel on the table, and let kiddo go to town pouring water between the cups.
HSAL says
Skip the egg-shaped crayons and go for the jumbo. The egg crayons might be easier to hold, but you have to press down much harder than with regular crayons. I really like the paint in the bag idea too.
rosie says
You can get these mats that are a layer of white with colorful fabric underneath, so kiddo draws on the top with a marker full of water and then color is revealed. No mess and can be reused over and over since once the water dries, it’s back to how it was.
AwayEmily says
Fun fact: human urine also reveals the colors beneath! In related news, we no longer have our mat.
Anon says
I would imagine any urine would do the trick, not just human urine ;)
Anon says
HAHAHA. I almost spit out my lunch at this. Ours is unusable because toddler colored on it using real markers in a brief moment of unsupervised time.
rosie says
Oh, ours has survived the washing machine. Related: I cannot speak to the impact of vomit, as I did not want to look at it that long.
Anon says
Do you have any animals on strings you can take for a walk though the house? Very fun
Salmon mom says
This is my first time able to go to my kids Christmas concert (always had to work before plus he was never in it). In laws are going. Not on great terms with them at the moment. My strategy is to arrive immediately before concert and then leave with child as soon as it’s over. Good vibes appreciated.
Anonymous says
I have a very specific question. My daycare does organized cash gifts for the teachers. I have two kids with 7 full-time teachers and a small number of floaters (plus a few staff). We give one check and it gets divvied among everyone. We usually give $50 for lead teachers and $25 for everyone else.
Does that sound about right? This is my first year with two kids so it seems like a lot of money but also is less then a week’s tuition which was another guide post I saw.
For reference, our daycare is very expensive for our area, we live in a medium-sized Midwestern city, and our HHI is pretty high for the area.
HSAL says
That’s what we do, but we only have 4 lead teachers (technically 3 but the twins’ teacher will get double) and 3 floater/part-time types. 7 full-time teachers seems like a lot for two kids, but I think the amounts themselves are good.
Anon says
I have no idea what’s normal or typical, but it sounds about right to me. I was planning to do $50 each for my kid’s three teachers (one is technically called an “aide” but she’s in the classroom more than the teachers). I would be happy to pay the floaters and staff a smaller amount, but have no idea how to do so, since I don’t even know many of their names. Also a smaller Midwest city and a daycare that’s expensive for our area. A week’s tuition is almost $400 and spending that amount on holiday gifts is staggering to me.
lawsuited says
I’m in the exact same situation and am giving the exact same amounts.
Anonymous says
Thanks everybody!
FP says
It’s a lot of money and to be honest, I spend more money on daycare teacher gifts than my own husband. However, they don’t get paid well, and they take care of my children all day! So I think it’s worth it to spend generously if you can afford it. I plan to do a $50 gift card for each teacher for my kids (both preschool and aftercare) and then I’ll coordinate with the director to send in bagels and coffee for all of the teachers one morning. This will total around $400, which is a little less than what I spend each week in tuition on two kids in preschool and aftercare.
Anonymous says
I do $50-$100 per lead and $10 for floaters.
When I was “room mom” and collected cash the gift ended up being $350-400 per lead and $75-100 per floater. They were all overjoyed.
Boston suburbs.
Anonymous says
I am a bit over a year postpartum and am physically pretty back to normal. But when I bend forward to touch my toes, I get weird pain right around the base of my ribs. It feels like a muscle is slowly moving across my ribs. It hurts but goes away fast. And it would score low on the pain scale but makes it uncomfortable to move it that way. Has anyone else had this? I will go to the doctor. I am just trying to see what it is in the meantime.
Coach Laura says
I got that when my spleen was enlarged, nothing to do with pregnancy. Good to get it checked out though.
ElisaR says
not sure if it’s low sugar but the Made Good brand is nut-free and daycare safe by most rules and they supposedly have vegetable nutrients in there too (yeah I don’t really know what that means but I’m desperate with my picky eaters). My son loves the purple box granola bars.
ElisaR says
sorry i got the message that my comment didn’t post so I hit the button again…. issues today commenting!
Anonymous says
Please help me with a Christmas vacation dilemma: my folks got a timeshare for Christmas week (Saturday to Saturday) in New Orleans and got us (me, husband and 5-month old) a studio room as well for the whole week. However, I’m just now back to work from mat leave at a law firm and am not sure if I want to be out of the office that Monday, Thursday and Friday. I’m also ambivalent on whether going away for a whole week with the baby will be stressful or relaxing. But then again, it seems silly to leave Tuesday just so I can spend one more day in the office – if we go at all, we might as well go for the whole week. Any thoughts? Husband has the week off and wants to go, and figures more people to watch the baby = more relaxing for us.
Anon says
I would go for the whole week. As to how relaxing it will be, it depends on your baby’s temperament and how helpful the grandparents are, but generally before they start really moving (crawling/cruising) is a relatively easy time to travel.
Anonymous says
I do not work in a law firm and have a super flexible job. With that being said, I would go, at least, through Wednesday. Or go the whole time but work a few hours.