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If you’re on the hunt for a simple shrunken blazer, I like the look of this one from Calvin Klein. It’s collarless and zippered, and I like how the zippered pockets almost create a peplum effect. It’s available in white and black in sizes 2-16 at Lord & Taylor for $97 (from $129). Use code LTLOVE for an extra 20% off and it comes down to $77. Calvin Klein Zip-Front Blazer
Here are two plus-size options (also from Calvin Klein) in dark blue and beige.
(L-4)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
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- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
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- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Birthday Parties? says
What does everyone do about birthday parties? I feel like we are getting close to the friend party age (turning 3 this year) but the thought of having a friend party + family party sounds so overwhelming to plan, prep, have, etc. I think we’ll wait until he actually asks for one to do a friend party, but wondering what everyone does when that starts. Two parties? One combined? Jetisen the family party? I’m considering being a really mean mom this year and doing neither. A family day at the zoo with cupcakes and balloons sounds like more fun than overwhelming my little introvert with a bunch of people. Would love to hear what everyone else does.
Mrs. Jones says
At least half of my friends have big parties with family and friends, for their kids, starting at age 1. I do not. So far our 5 y-o has not had more than 6 guests (not including 3 grandparents) at any birthday party. Obviously it’s up to you. More than one party is def overkill; definitely combine family and friends.
PhilanthropyGirl says
We haven’t reached the age of friend parties – but this introvert appreciated how things were done when I was growing up. I had my first friend party around age 7 – first grade for me. I was told I would have friend parties on special birthdays – 7, 12, 16 – maybe one more? They were separate from family birthdays, and special because I knew I wouldn’t have a ton of them. It gave my mom the energy to really plan big for those special birthdays and took the pressure off other years. I didn’t have a ton of close friends growing up, and never felt I missed much. An extrovert child may feel differently. Birthdays were generally very simple, and I never felt cheated. As an introvert I found birthday parties embarrassing, and enjoyed sharing them with my younger sister so all the attention wasn’t on me.
We’ve taken a similar approach with our toddler. Family parties for now – and possibly even shared birthdays with cousins as they’re all within a few weeks of each other (1st birthday aside). Even for family parties, things are simple. No formal invitations, few decorations – a nice meal, a special activity (last year we finger painted canvases and splashed in a baby pool), and presents. I would much rather enjoy celebrating than feel stressed out by trying to plan some awesome party. I don’t imagine friend parties until our LO is school aged – kindergarten at the earliest.
OliveMac says
I’m so curious, I have to ask! What makes 7, 12 and 16 special? :) As a mom to a newbie (1yo last week), I need to learn the ropes!
mascot says
Caveat- My family is small, only one grandparent is local, and there’s no family tradition of making a big deal of birthdays with extended family. We’ve only done friends parties from age 3 on. If grandparents or other family want to come, great. If they want to have a cupcake with a candle some other time, that’s usually what we do.
Meg Murry says
Opposite caveat: my parents and in-laws live very close and get along with each other, and we usually do at least 1-2 dinners or weekend lunches with (one set or the other) a week on a typical week. My kids also have gone to my mother’s house 1-2 days or 1/2 days a week for childcare.
So we usually do a dinner or weekend lunch at a grandparents house with both sets of grandparents, cupcakes or cake, presents from grandparents and sometimes balloons. We usually let the kid suggest what they want for dinner, (it’s never fancy, often something like spaghetti or pizza). My father likes feeding people and having family dinners, so sometimes there will be additional cousins or aunts and uncles – but not the entire extended family (because my mom’s family alone is 40+ people). But overall low key, and 95% orchestrated by grandparents.
We didn’t start having friend parties until 5, and even then we’ve limited it to 4-6 friends, not whole class parties, which works fine for my introverted oldest. My youngest is a bit more of a social butterfly though, and has been to quite a few “invite the whole class” parties, so I suspect we’ll be doing more for him when he turns 5 this year.
If you want to do something in between “nothing” and crazy, one of the best birthday parties we’ve ever been to was an invitation that said “we’ll be at the local playground from around 10-12 on Saturday, or Sunday if it’s raining on Saturday, and will sing happy birthday and serve cupcakes around 11. Stop in if you are available.” The mom had bakery mini cupcakes and a mylar balloon, the handful of kids ran around and had fun, and there was no fuss or cleanup or goodie bags or RSVPs.
Birthday Parties? says
All these amazing low-key park parties are making me wish I had summer babies! November and February in Minnesota are not park friendly months.
EP-er says
You can always celebrate half birthdays in the summer!
signed a Christmas baby with two January babies
Meg Murry says
My kids are November and March, so I hear you. Somehow we’ve been extremely lucky that the weather has been gorgeous for the March birthday for the past several years – but never enough to plan on it, it’s almost always a 50% chance of rain for the entire month and you never know until the day before whether it’s likely to be 30 degrees or 60 degrees and raining or not.
JayJay says
I didn’t do friend birthday parties until my oldest asked for one – when he turned four. My younger son is turning 3 in August and all he wants is a Bubble Guppies party with family. So that’s what we’re doing. If he wants a “friends” party when he turns 4, then I’ll think about it.
CPA Lady, Birthday Grinch says
What I did for my kid’s first birthday, and what I will do for every birthday going forward until she is old enough to make a specific request, is to have a low-key party at my house. I invited anyone that I thought would like to be there, both friends and family, and expected them to get along. I got all the food from the grocery store that morning, nothing special–chips and salsa, cheese cubes, and some artichoke dip with crackers, and a cake that was already made.
Then the kids ran riot through the house for a couple of hours, the parents stood in the kitchen and drank gin and tonics, and then everyone went home. I requested no gifts. No games. Minimal decorations. If you want to have a big party, go for it, but…. I just … cant be bothered with the (to my mind) absurd excess that is currently expected for birthday parties. Going to the zoo with cupcakes sounds delightful. Doing nothing whatsoever also sounds delightful. I don’t even remember any of my birthday parties before elementary school age, so I don’t think I’d put a ton of effort into any parties before then, unless party planning was my hobby or something.
EB0220 says
Can I come to your party?
CPA Lady, Birthday Grinch says
Totally! The more, the merrier!
Spirograph says
This is basically what we do, too, but outside. Older kiddo’s birthday is at a time of year when the weather is almost always gorgeous, so every year we have a backyard barbecue and invite kids+families from daycare and our friends and neighbors. No gifts, homemade cupcakes (from a box), food from Costco and potluck, maybe a “happy birthday” banner and some balloons. The end. The kids run around the yard, the grownups chat among themselves, play cornhole, and have some drinks. It’s really just an excuse for a kid-friendly get-together. We have no local extended family, but if anyone happens to be visiting that weekend, the more the merrier. We have “better” cake and open presents after dinner on the actual birthday, but I wouldn’t call that a family party.
Younger kiddo has a mid-winter birthday and our house is tiny and has a bad layout for entertaining, so until she’s old enough to notice the inequity and have “drop-off” parties with just the kids and no parents, she probably won’t get birthday parties. I feel like I jerk writing that…
GCA says
If this makes me a birthday grinch, I’ll happily embrace it! We had one of those low-key parties for kidlet’s 1st. (May baby). On the playground at our apartment complex. A few family members who live nearby, a few friends with kids, a few friends without kids. BBQ, grocery store sliced fruit/ chips/ dips, homemade cupcakes, popsicles…and here is the secret to delighting every single kid…a BUBBLE MACHINE. If you want to go all out for kids’ birthdays and enjoy doing so and will cherish the photos years later, great! Not for me.
Faye says
Age 1: “Party” with extended family – as in grocery store food at our house with a couple themed plates and balloons, and a grocery store sheet cake in the theme colors.
Age 2,3: Dinner with grandparents and aunts/uncles
Age 4,5,6: “Party” in the park/community center with friends. Invite grandparents/aunts/uncles. No gifts, no games, no themes, just playing and eating some cake.
My kids aren’t school age yet, so I figure I’ll see what they ask for once we get there.
Amom says
yes- no themes! The theme is BIRTHDAY PARTY
Meg Murry says
Yes, I am also down with “the theme is birthday party”. When my oldest turned 5, we had recently moved, and so he really wanted a party at our new house with his friends. He also loooooves arts and crafts, which I am not a super fan of, so we went with a “birthday party” theme of activities: decorate your own party hats with stickers, pom-poms, markers and pipe cleaners, then send them all outside to run around, then decorate your own cupcake (choice of vanilla or chocolate cupcake, vanilla or chocolate frosting, then a variety of colored sprinkles and whatever else we had in the pantry that we thought could go on cupcakes like chocolate chips).
It was only 4 or 5 kids, so it was enough to make him ecstatic while not requiring me to do any prep until the day before when I went to the grocery store and Target and then made (from a box) cupcakes.
Anonymous says
We started with family parties that amounted to cake + balloons + whatever family members happened to be in town. Her day care/preschool was in the city where I work, 60 miles from home, so we did not attend or host friend parties until she was in kindergarten. Then we dropped the family parties and for the first couple of years did parties with her friends at outside venues. I highly recommend this as it has always ended up being cheaper, less hassle, and more fun for everyone. When she got older she begged to have her parties at home like everyone else. I have hosted three elaborate themed parties at home and have vowed never, ever to do it again. She always insists on inviting at least two or three little hooligans who refuse to do the craft or play the game or watch the movie, run off into another room and start pulling things off the shelves, cause a scene to get attention, etc. Plus that, I always overestimate the kids’ attention span and ability to do craft projects. (Who knew that fourth-graders were not capable of sitting in one place long enough to watch a movie?) So next year I am insisting on an outside venue and full veto power over the guest list, unless she wants to have a very small, low-key, non-themed party at home with about three kids whom I get to choose.
Most families we know switched from family parties to friend parties around kindergarten. There is one family that does gigantic family + friend parties with 50+ guests at their home. They usually bring in outside entertainment and have both of their nannies (yes, they have two) help corral the kids.
Momata says
Wait . . . you commuted 60 miles from home each way with your kid? Sending good juju your way. Holy hard.
Anonymous says
Yes. It was a fantastic university-affiliated center that cost half of what we would have paid near home and was much better. When I started traveling for work we paid a fortune for backup care because my husband couldn’t get her to school, though. The commute wasn’t bad except when we were potty training.
FVNC says
Daughter is turning 3 in the fall, and we’re hosting a birthday party for her for the first time. We rented a venue (make your own cupcakes! we may be more excited than she is) that allows 15 kids total, I think. We’ll invite the kids from her preschool class– she will have started a new school a couple months before, so we figure this will give us a chance to get to know parents of kids in her class, and maybe make some parent friends since we’ll be new in town. I’m putting in more effort to this — and spending more money — than I normally would because I really want to have the opportunity to meet a few people. For her first and second birthdays, we had dinner with local grandparents, and kid didn’t even like her cake.
FVNC says
Oh, and we won’t have local family when we relocate, so any grandparents who want to come into town are welcome; otherwise, no separate family party.
Anon in NYC says
We had a big first birthday party – extended family + friends – at a venue because our apartment couldn’t accommodate that many people. For the next few birthdays (perhaps until about 4 or 5?), we’ll probably just do small family parties (like grandparents, aunts/uncles) either at home or in a nearby park.
EB0220 says
I usually take the day off to spend with the birthday kid. And we have a special dinner and birthday dessert at some point with whatever grandparents happen to be in town. My oldest turned 4 this year and we had a friend party at a bounce place. It was expensive, but zero effort and it was as much for her as it was an investment in getting to know the other kids’ parents. I was thinking of a playground and cupcake thing for my almost 2 year old because she’s very attached to the kids in her daycare class.
octagon says
Growing up, my parents had a rule that your friends guest list was how old you were turning (5 friends when you turned 5, 9 friends when you turned 9, etc.) The earliest I remember was when I turned 5 so maybe that’s when it started?
We also did family cookouts on or around birthdays to see grandparents and extended family.
anon says
Our son doesn’t expect a party and doesn’t really care (and honestly, so many kids meltdown during their bday parties because they had been hyped up so much). No party for 1 or 2. 3 was 3 kids at the playground then walked to the pizza parlor for a slice. We flew to see grandparents on his 4th so I made that the present. A good rule of thumb I’ve heard is one kid for every year they turn. So 5 for his 5th, 6 for his 6th, etc. But if we could keep skipping parties, I’d be SUPER down.
SC says
We had a birthday party with our family (16 adults, 2 babies, and 1 toddler) for our son’s first birthday. I kept it casual–outdoor bbq in our backyard, no theme (other than birthday), plastic table cloths and disposable dishes–but it was still a lot of work. But we did it because we wanted to celebrate making it to one year, not because we felt like our son needed a party. Next year, we’ll probably just have cake among the 3 of us, then let the grandparents take the lead on celebrating at their house if they want to. As he gets older, if he requests a party or I feel motivated to throw one, I like the idea of having small numbers of children for casual get-togethers. We have lots of family in town, so getting together with cousins wouldn’t be difficult at all.
In House Lobbyist says
We did extended family and our friends until with my son when he started asking for friends from school to come. Then we dropped off extended family unless they kids that would otherwise be invited and started inviting friends. We do a theme – this year it was Star Wars so we had SW plates and napkins and we made light sabers with pool noodes. My husband and I also treat this like a party for us too so we usually go a little overboard with full menu and don’t stick to kid food.
Lizochka says
Oh lord, as I read all of this I am a little bit embarrassed by how much I go all out for my guy’s birthday. I can’t help it, I really love doing it. We usually have 25-35 people, including kids, family, and friends, and I do themes and custom decorations. Maybe it helps to explain that I am graphic designer by trade, so it’s really my jam to get in there and create stuff. My husband thinks I am a nutcase but I think it’s so much fun. First birthday was The Legend of Zelda, second birthday was dinosaurs, third birthday Star Wars.
Anyway, I am not saying all of this to brag or seek validation. I was just starting to feel kind of like an @sshole reading everyone else’s comments about keeping it simple for birthdays. But you know what? I think that’s great, but I think my way is great, too. We all do whatever we want to do, right?
OCAssociate says
Of course your way is great! You’re doing what is fun for you and your kid.
Our birthdays are super low key at this point, but that’s because I don’t enjoy going all out with parties and decorations, and neither of my kids care about it at this point.
But I LOVE going to parties like the ones you plan.
Anon Because I'm Going to Sound Insane says
If you enjoy doing it, there is nothing wrong with that. The thing that makes me crazy is the expectation that all parties need to be that all-out. If its what you want to do, that’s awesome. If that’s what society expects *me* to do to prove to other people that I’m a good mom, then that’s where I have a problem.
I think as parents, we all have some “thing” that we do that other people would call overboard. For example: my daughter has somewhere in the neighborhood of 70 hair bows, and she’s 2 years old. How did she get those hair bows? I bought them, because it is important to me that she has a bow that perfectly matches every single outfit she owns. Does this make me insane? Probably. But I enjoy it (and just FYI, you can get a 40 pack of hair bows on amazon for $12).
You do you!
JayJay says
I agree completely. My kids help me make sugar cookies and cakes (from scratch) and decorate them for every major holiday. I know it’s insane, my husband reminds me that it’s insane, and I would never expect other parents to do that. It’s my “thing.”
Lizochka says
I LOVE the hair bows. Too cute! :)
Famouscait says
My husband, son and I all have our birthdays within the span of a week. Last year (and after good advice from here!) we did a joint birthday party, ranging in attendee ages from 1 to 89. It was so much fun, we’re making it a yearly tradition! It was very relaxed, at our home, just an open-house kind of deal. It was actually a lot of fun to have friends and family of all ages and from all “areas” of life together for a little while. There was no theme or activities, etc. Just good food, drink and fun people.
SC says
I think that’s awesome. I would totally want to attend a Legend of Zelda party as an adult. I don’t know if I have a “thing” yet, but considering how much I hate sitting around the house, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if my “overboard” thing becomes activities or trips to local stuff every weekend. I know kids don’t need enriching activities every Saturday, but I hate being home and feeling unproductive. For now, though, we just go to Costco between naps or hit up a family member’s pool when I get bored.
Boston/Cambridge childcare says
Calling all of you in the Boston/Cambridge area – how much do you pay for childcare, and what kind of childcare is it (daycare vs nanny vs nanny-share vs etc)?
Thanks!
Carrie M says
We’re in a chain daycare center (little sprouts) and cost is about $1900 per month for a toddler classroom spot. An infant spot is more expensive; prices go down as the student to teacher ratio goes up in the older classrooms. We toured cheaper centers but didn’t like them as much as this one; we turned down a spot in a more expensive center (bright horizons) because the location wasn’t great and the cost was even more than we were paying in DC, so we just couldn’t stomach it.
Boston/Cambridge childcare says
Thanks for the reply! Moving to the area soon and will be TTC shortly thereafter (and don’t know anyone in the area with children currently in daycare/nanny) so trying to gauge how much we’ll need to factor into the budget.
CHJ says
We’re in the ‘burbs now and pay $1500/month for preschool. In the city, we paid around $1600/month for the infant room and $1500/month for the toddler room. We were at Little Pandas in Chinatown, which I highly recommend. And I agree with Carrie that Bright Horizons is wildly overpriced – I think it was $3200 for an infant spot at the one on Beacon Hill.
Also, if you’re not on it already, you should check out the Garden Moms forum. It’s a great resource for Boston-area parenting.
GCA says
/weeps we were waitlisted at Little Panda, but it was our top choice. Full price at the university-affiliated (discounted for postdocs and staff) Bright Horizons that kidlet goes to is $2500 infants, $2300 toddlers. We pay it as we seriously cannot beat the location (5min from home).
OP, are you the one who was asking about MIT commute a while back, by any chance?
Closet Redux says
We paid 270$ for three days for an infant in a small in-home daycare in Cambridge.
Anon says
2400/mo for infant care in bright horizons in the burbs, that was 3 years ago. Non chains in the burbs were 1800-2400/mo.
Amom says
I think I have breastfeeding on the mind. I just signed an email Breast instead of Best. I’ve already sent but good thing my coworker has a sense of humour!
Anon says
Has anyone thought about how they are going to talk about (American) race relations with their kids? I live close to the police shooting that occurred last night, and we will be surrounded by media and rallies this weekend. I want to make sure I answer, honestly and appropriately, my daughter’s questions if they come up….we are white and she is not quite 3. I am considering bringing her to a BLM rally this weekend too.
anon says
We took our son to a BLM rally when he was 2.5. He’s 4 now and I think it’s important for him to know about these things (not that people are murdered because the color of their skin, but that be live in a country where people aren’t treated equally). I talk mostly about fighting for justice, how it’s not okay for police to put people in jail when they haven’t done anything wrong, etc. I answer all of his questions honestly but you’ll likely find they’re not asking a ton of in=depth questions and probably stop before anything really deep comes up. For example, he’s really into the American Revolution but then asked me if the British go to heaven (and then I had to explain that I don’t believe in heaven, lol) I would say almost three is an age where they won’t totally grasp why they are going to a rally but you can lay some ground work for when she gets older. Good luck.
Lyssa says
My generalized thinking (my older one is 3.5, and way too young to get anything that’s happening on the news) is to stress that everyone is equal and that how they look is not important, and that you should always treat the police and everyone with respect, but also that sometimes bad things happen and that sometimes people, even police officers, either make mistakes or are just not good people. I would also stress that we should take anything reported in the media, particularly right after an incident, with a grain of salt and to make sure that we know the facts before forming an opinion.
As they get older and more able to understand specific incidents, I’d say I’d answer them straightforwardly and factually and maybe help do some research on the facts to make sure that we understand what happened and talk about why, and talk about what the different viewpoints are and why, and about what can be done (i.e., prosecutions, training). I’m generally pretty cynical about the ability of government to effectively deal with a lot of things (for example, it’s very hard to prove that someone acted criminally where there is no video of the incident), so I’m not sure exactly how to explain that to a kid yet.
Personally, I would not take a child to a political rally for a cause that s/he was too young to understand, particularly on a very complicated and emotionally charged issue like this, but that’s certainly your call.
Anon says
I’m not really concerned about my daughter asking questions about the news coverage – she won’t see that and wouldn’t understand it anyway.
Because of where we live, she will see angry, grieving people shouting, waving signs, making speeches, and marching close to our house, the playground and her school; she will see news trucks with cameras and microphones in people’s faces. She will ask why the people are angry or sad. I think that question deserves an answer, and the questions won’t get easier as she gets older, so I might as well start the conversation now.
Anonymous says
Actually studies show that down playing race (“how they look is not important”) is pretty much the wrong thing for white parents to do. I’d read this:
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/the_kids/2014/03/teaching_tolerance_how_white_parents_should_talk_to_their_kids_about_race.html
Then go to your local library and ask for their Coretta Scott King picture book winners and whatever they put out during black history month that might be age appropriate.
Anon MN says
Excellent question, I live so close to last nights shooting, with a not-quite 3 year old, it certainly brings it close to home. Following to see what other people are doing as I struggle with how to make it relevant for the younger set, but think it is definitely important.
Anon says
Hugs. It felt like the cities should be angrier today.
I’m thinking of using a message along the lines of, “The protesters are angry/sad/hurt because black people (like your school friends X, Y and Z, and teachers A and B) don’t feel safe here. It isn’t fair that they are not safe; everyone should be safe. These protesters are asking the police and leaders to keep them safe, and it is very important for all of us to listen and help however we can.”
I guess my question is – is that enough?
Anon in NYC says
I think for a not-yet-3-year-old, that seems appropriate. I found this link, which seems helpful.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/talking-with-children-about-racism-police-brutality-and-protests
mascot says
Thank you for this link. I struggle with how to talk to my son about these issues. My initial reaction is to shield him from such protests because I want him to trust the police bc police are helpers, but at the same time, for so many people, that’s very much not true.
anon says
So I don’t know…caveat is that I teach this subject matter for a living. Personally, I’m not comfortable singling people out as examples because I never know how my words will be understood and then re-used by my son. I.e. if I’ve said someone is bald, and he goes and tells them they’re bald, that might be a little embarrassing for all of us, but I’m more concerned that if I say “like your school friends X and Y” he might go up to them and say sorry you don’t feel safe–or whatever it is–and that presumes a lot about how they feel and what their parents want to tell them about being a person of color in the U.S. Another example is talking about slavery and not wanting him to ask people if they are slaves or were slaves because they are black. Since he hasn’t had a racially formative moment yet where he realizes people are treated differently because of their skin color, I like to deal with things in general terms for now.
Re taking her to the rally: we went to two with our son (I’m the commenter above) before he was three and he got the sense that we were upset and that the police had done something wrong and we were yelling so that they would correct their behavior. He grasped that, asked a few more questions, and was fine marching with us in his stroller for an hour. There were some other kids there, the whole thing was peaceful, and I would 100 percent recommend it if you feel like you want to bring her–you know your child better than us!
Anon says
That is great input, thanks.
Ally McBeal says
No time for a long response, but I highly, highly recommend the chapter in NurtureShock that deals with racism. Short version: you can’t just say “everyone’s equal,” because kids internalize differences and there still are differences in treatment. So you have to take the existence of racism head-on and be willing to talk about it.
Newly pregnant says
So….I’m pregnant! H and I had been trying for a quite a long time, so I’m very happy. But – it all feels so surreal right now. I don’t *feel* like I’m pregnant yet aside from some occasional nausea and fatigue, and I’m still only cautiously optimistic in case I miscarry. Yet my mind is already reeling about what will happen post-baby – I’m the only one of my local friends who is married, let alone pregnant (in my late 20s in the DC area). I don’t know much about babies. I don’t know how I will manage it all. Someone talk me down please?
octagon says
Congratulations! That time is really surreal – lots of changes going on but you can’t see them, and you can’t talk about it yet. Enjoy this time with your H — it goes fast!
PACE says
Since you’re in the DC area, look into PACE. I joined because I was in the opposition situation — all my friends were done having babies.
You can’t sign up until after your baby is born, but it is basically a moms group/group therapy of about 12 first time moms. Some PACE groups end up still hanging out after the planned sessions are done, others don’t, but either way it’s a good way to meet other new moms who are going through the same thing.
anon says
Along the same lines, as you get a little further, a prenatal yoga class can be an excellent way to meet other local pregnant moms. Several of my friends joined one and still met up once the babies were born. Having that support system/support group in place is realllllly great. Not sure where you live in the DC area but there are also other new-parents support groups beyond PACE, some even free.
Right now it’s totally natural to be having these feelings. It’s a lot of unknowns!! You have some time to get used to it, though, and once you have the baby — the baby will teach you how to parent it. Believe me.
RDC says
+1 to pace. I think you tentatively register to get on their wait list, and then officially sign up once the baby comes. So it’s worth getting on their list now.
PACE says
Also — congrats! It took a while for the whole ‘there’s a baby in there’ thing to sink in, even though we were trying for a while. Heck, even now I have the occasional, ‘OMG, that kid is mine, WTFF?!?’ thought!
Spirograph says
Congratulations! I agree with the suggestion about prenatal yoga to meet some other local moms-to-be. If your hospital or midwife/doula has classes or support groups, those can also be great.
You’ll manage, don’t worry. :) I felt the same way you do, but once the baby actually arrived, I realized they’re not nearly as mysterious or difficult as they seem in the abstract. Start looking into childcare options NOW, though. If you are planning to use a daycare center, it is not too early to get on wait lists! This area is nuts.
Katala says
Congratulations! It’s totally normal to have all the feels – hormones, huge life changes, unknowns, it’s a lot! Do try to enjoy this time. It goes by so fast, even though it might feel slow day to day. You will be a great mama, and you have 9 months to prepare!
RDC says
Do you work with other moms? (Even if not your age group?) Later in your pregnancy, ask them to coffee for their tips on working with kids. Moms at my work – even people I hadn’t really known well – were super kind in offering their time and advice, and talking with them was really reassuring about being able to “manage it.”
Also, if you have a neighborhood moms group that has weekly play dates or whatnot, look into that for during your maternity leave. It didn’t seem like a thing I would do but ended up being hugely helpful to 1) have a reason to leave the house and 2) get to know other moms.
Newly pregnant says
Thank you everyone! I do have co-workers and a few friends who live far away who have kids, so once I’m ready to tell people I will be reaching out. I’ll also look into PACE – hadn’t heard of it. Really appreciate the reassurance!
NOVA Anon says
Congrats and +1 to PACE. I’m also the only one (still) of my pre-baby friends in DC to have had a baby, and PACE was great.
Anonymous says
Congratulations! I was in a very similar boat about a year ago– pregnant at 29, first (well, “tied” for first) in my friend group to be pregnant, in DC. I also knew nothing about babies and have largely been figuring it out alas I go along. It has been fun to be the first honestly– although none of my friends know much about babies or can lend us baby gear, they have been super excited to babysit, hold him, etc., which has been nice. And, I’ll be your friend if you want a mom-friend! I’m in Arlington.
AltaLitGirl says
Congratulations! Super, super exciting news for you and H :) I’m 13 + 5 weeks and I’ve found talking to my mom, friends and other family members with kids (even if they are older kids), and my doula, to be really helpful in terms of making me feel more confident and less concerned about my ability to hack it as a mom. I didn’t feel like it was real at first either, but hopefully it will start to sink in and feel more real for when you go for an ultrasound around 8 weeks and get to see your baby for the first time. Weeks 6-11 were more or less hell for me with morning sickness, but I know that it can vary for some people.
My only advice would be to rally a few support people apart from H if you feel comfortable enough to tell early on so that you have someone to chat with and get support from if you feel sick, scared, or just generally in need of support. We decided to tell close friends and family pretty much right away because I have a terrible time keeping a secret, and I was so glad that I had that support when I felt like my life was over from weeks 6-11 when I wasn’t well enough to leave the house for more than an hour at a time (had to tell my boss so that I could work from home) and barely felt well enough to shower :| Even if I hadn’t been super sick I think I would have wanted someone besides DH to know to sympathize with me (it was hard for him to believe that I could be that sick when I wasn’t even showing yet and he’s more of the “tough love” approach than a coddler).
It’s a really exciting time, but some of the early pregnancy stuff can totally suck and I don’t think I could have gotten through it without my mom and some close girlfriends there to support me.
Pogo says
For those of you who did IVF, did anyone require a Lupron trigger? It seems like this is fairly new but is used to prevent ovarian hyperstimulation (as opposed to using HCG). My insurance doesn’t cover Lupron for this purpose, so I’m hesitant to shell out the bucks if it’s not really necessary. My doc said it would be more of a game time decision, if I responded way too well to the injectibles (I did not respond well to Clomid, but have pcos and plenty of eggs).
Follow up the if I do really need it… does anyone have recommendations on where to get cheap Lupron? CVS quoted me $500 for the shot. If that’s a fair price, I’ll go with it, I just had no idea. I called my nurse, too, but wanted to ask the hive as well :)
Newly pregnant says
I’m not familiar with Lupron, but I got my HCG shot from Freedom Fertility (online mail-order service). Try calling them.
anon says
I didn’t do it, but it’s pretty standard at my clinic for anyone who starts looking iffy. Not as new as you seem to think.
That price seems high, but the thing is, if you’re going to need it, you probably won’t know until you’re only a day or two out from trigger, depending, and at that point CVS might be your best bet. Freedom Fertility does overnight ship though (and so does Grubbs [sp?]) and I know someone who got emergency stim med refills in less than 18 hours, but yikes, stressful.
Pogo says
My clinic responded with the name of a pharmacy that has it for $75. That is a lot easier than $500 to justify for a “might-need”. I’m going to go ahead and order it then!
twin mom says
I did Lupron and was worried about not doing HCG. I now have twins, so it worked! I went to one of the top three clinics in the country and they use it regularly. I also used Freedom Pharmacy.
EB0220 says
Playdate etiquette question: Arranging a playdate for younger child (2) at classmate’s house. Should I ask to bring older child (4.5) or just leave her at home (w/ husband or grandparents) this time? If we were meeting at the park, I would definitely bring my older one, but at someone’s house I’m not sure.
SC says
If you can leave your older child at home with another caregiver, I would, but mostly because I think it’s good for siblings to have time apart with different friends and different activities, as well as one-on-one time with caregivers. That said, if you couldn’t leave your 4.5 year old with someone else, I’d probably call the other parent, give her a heads up, and say that you’ll bring snacks for all the kids. It’s not a big deal.
anon says
If they don’t have older kids, your older kid will be SUPER BORED at the younger kid’s playdate! I would def try to leave him at home with someone else. If you really can’t, I would try to relocate the playdate to your house. If it were the opposite situation and you were going to bring the younger one to the older one’s playdate, I wouldn’t think twice.
EB0220 says
Sounds good. I can leave her w/ someone no problem. You’re probably right, anon – she would be super bored.