This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Happy almost weekend, ladies! I found these heels while looking for a more affordable option for these gorgeous (but, uh, more than 5x as expensive) pumps — and I thought these pumps were so cute they deserved their own shoutout. I keep mod looks — cropped trousers and turtlenecks, or loose, billowy shift dresses — but obviously they’d look great with all sorts of things. They’re $129 at Zappos, available in navy, black, and gray; they’re also available at Amazon and Nordstrom (ooh, where the blue and gray are 25% off). Steven Buena
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
Click here to see our top posts!
And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Daycare hours? says
So our first is due in the spring and we’ve been starting to think through the logistics of daycare. Do people put little babies (ours will probably be 12 weeks at the oldest) in daycare for 9-10 hours a day and have them turn out just fine? Right now we’re out of the house something like 7:30-5 and while we can adjust those hours slightly, it’s still a good 9 hours for kiddo in care.
I know other parenting boards will tell me I’m ruining my kid for even considering such a thing, so I’m hoping to get some sort of reality check for whether this is completely standard for families with two working parents (we both grew up with SAHMs) or if we should really try and stagger work schedules to have a shorter daycare day.
anne-on says
My son went in from roughly 8:30/9am to 5:15 when he was 5 months old, and there were definitely children younger than him there just as long or longer. Our center was a bit of a unicorn in that it was open from 6:30am-6pm, and you could use as many or as few hours as you needed, BUT they did suggest thebabies not be there longer than 10 hours. I think its fine, as long as you’re very comfortable with the center. Honestly, a good quality daycare is probably spending MORE time interacting with them than you’d be at home where you’d also be trying to clean up/prepare bottles and food/deal with errands/shopping/etc.
If you do decide to stagger hours is there room in your budget for a college kid type of mother’s helper a few days a week? It was a godsend to have someone to feed a bottle/play with the baby for an hour so I could toss in laundry/cook dinner/get a bath ready after work.
Anonymous says
We did staggered work schedules and a nanny share. Moved to daycare starting at age 2. Nanny share was great because baby had another similar aged kid to interact with. Many people do daycare from the start and the kids turn out 100% fine. Baby knows you’re the mommy.
Our staggered schedules were 9:00 – 6pm (nanny started at 9 – in office for 9:30) and 7:30 – 4:30. DH went to work early – baby usually got up 6:30 -7 so he saw baby in morning too. I nursed in the morning and got ready while baby napped (7:30/8 – 9ish) Nanny share was always at our house which was easier because no drop off (other family had a much smaller house + large dog).
Anon in NYC says
My daughter is in daycare from about 9:30-6/6:15 every day, so just about 9 hours. She’s happy and well-adjusted. She loves her teachers, but knows who her parents are. We have plenty of play time at home, and we always have a lot of family time on weekends.
FWIW, I’ve found that having a slightly later bedtime (for us 7:30-8pm) is really helpful in making life easier on weekdays. It means we can pick her up from daycare, get her home, feed her dinner, and still have at least 10-15 minutes of playtime before starting our bedtime routine. But we didn’t really start to try to implement that until about 10 weeks or so (mine started FT daycare at ~14 weeks).
Anonymous says
+1 to all this. Kiddo started full time daycare at 13 weeks (3 months on the day), is there 845-545 M-F. He loves his teachers, loves us, and is happy both at pick up and drop off. We do spend lots of time with him on the weekends. It is rare we will get a sitter, and if we do, it’s usually for a Friday night, so he’s asleep most of the time we’re gone. He does go to sleep around 7:30-8 every night, so we have a couple hours with him after work, and usually time for a couple books and some cuddles in the morning.
I do think it is extremely important to be really happy with your daycare if your kid will be there all day every day, though. I am comfortable with this arrangement because I really like his care and caregivers. If I felt uncomfortable at all, it would be MUCH harder.
bigcitynewmom says
This is pretty much our schedule too and has been since our son started at 16 weeks. The 7:30 pm bedtime means we get a good chunk of time to feed, bathe, read stories, and play. He wakes up at 5:30, so there’s definitely time to bond (and even for him to take a nap!) in the morning before drop-off. And of course, we spend all day Saturday and Sunday together. I think you’ll be surprised by how much time you still have with your baby even when you’re both at work full time. S/he will absolutely know who mom and dad are. The huge smiles from my son when he sees me after being at daycare all day are priceless!
I echo what anne-on said above – a quality daycare will interact with your child probably more than you would be able to at home. I’ve learned so much from his teachers, and they’ve given me lots of ideas for activities/things to introduce him to at home. It’s also really touching to see other people love your child and appreciate things about him/her (food preferences, activities s/he likes, etc.).
LegalMomma says
This is close to our schedule as well. Daycare is open 7AM to 6PM but kids can only be there for 10 hours. We drop off between 8/8:30 and pick-up between 5:30/6. Our first started daycare right around 16 weeks, and that is the plan for our second as well. First is now 17 months, loves daycare, but knows we are her parents and gets super excited to see us at pick-up everyday.
Also – they do so much with her throughout the day, and clearly love her (and all the other babes in their care). The later bedtime (around 7:30/8) is also super helpful for still being able to get home, feed dinner, play, do bedtime routine.
mascot says
Mine started daycare at 14 weeks. He’s 6 now. Basically his entire life he’s been in some sort of daycare or school environment from 8-5:30 or 6. It’s a long day, but it’s all he’s ever known and he’s turning out fine. It’s been quality care that makes sure he gets naps (when younger), proper nutrition, loved on by caregivers, and socialization with other kids. I’m not sure what more could provide or provide better than what he’s already getting.
CHJ says
My son was in daycare from 8-5:30 when he was an infant, and it was fine. One thing I liked about our daycare was that the cribs were in a separate, darkened room with white noise playing, and he had a dedicated crib with his own sheets, sleep sack, etc. So really his day wasn’t all that much different than it would be at home — he would nap in his cozy little crib in the sleep area, and when he was awake, he would eat, do tummy time, and play with simple toys. Sometimes they would bring all the classes together (for music class or story time) and all the babies would be carried around by a teacher, whether from his room or another class. It was great.
Anonymous says
+1. My son is five now. Since he was 10 weeks old, he had been in full day (either 7:00 or 7:30 until 6:00) childcare. He has always been a night owl, so bed time at our house has always been 9:00, and now that he is older and entertains himself, I will let him play at home and skip morning care if he wants, while I work. But, to directly answer your question, he is happy and well adjusted, and is bonded to me and my husband just fine. In the mornings, he is excited to get to school for morning care on the playground, and on the weekends he complains about missing his friends at school. When he was a baby, I think being in daycare helped with milestones, like he would see other kids walking and would want to figure out how to walk like they were. It’s hard at first, but I honestly believe it is harder on the parents than the kid.
SoCalAtty says
Ours are like that as well. But LO just moved up to the “toddler” room (babies are 3 months to 1 year, toddler room 1 year to 2 years) and they all nap together on cots in a dark room with music.
Anonymous says
I was originally going to take a year of maternity leave, but ended up going back when baby was 4.5 months old because I couldn’t hack it as a SAHM. I was, and remain, convinced that baby was better off in her high-quality day care center than she would have been at home full-time. As an infant, she spent her days crawling and exploring in a happy, safe environment where several adults were always sitting on the floor interacting with the babies. When she turned 1, she played outside for hours every day and went on one or more walking “field trips” off campus every week to visit farm animals and attend story time at the library. She learned to wash her hands, throw away her trash, drink from a cup, sing songs, put on her own coat, and take turns. She loved her friends and teachers. I did my best to talk to her, read to her, and interact with her constantly, but there was just no way I could have provided the same level of mental stimulation if she’d been home with me all the time. She spent about nine hours a day at day care, plus two hours commuting with me in the car. Now she is a happy, successful fifth-grader. Her teachers describe her as socially adept and a leader, and she’s very independent. I believe that a lot of this comes from the socialization she got in day care.
Short version: If you are confident in the quality of your day care program, nine hours a day there won’t hurt your child and will probably benefit her.
Anons says
I posted this below, but one study I read suggested that your confidence in the quality of your childcare is key. If the mother believes her kids are getting what they need, then the kids tend to have good outcomes. This seems to hold true whether the mom is stay-at-home (and is happy with that), or working, with all sorts of childcare arrangements (daycare, nanny, family, etc.), so long as the mother is happy with her day-to-day arrangement. The key is to have confidence that you have chosen something that works for your family.
SoCalAtty says
This is a great post! I love my provider, and it is nice to hear some outcomes from those that have been through it!
Anon says
Both my kids have been in daycare from 7:30-5:00 (9-10 hours) every weekday since they were 12 weeks old. They’re happy and well-adjusted and social and adaptable and gregarious and smart. They get quality time on nights and weekends with both parents and extended family. They know there is a large community of adults who love them and support them.
We go to work, they go to school. They get it and don’t think it’s weird. Yes, there’s the occasional day where they want to stay home (I have those too!) but for the most part, they love being with their friends, playing outside, and learning all kinds of things. It’s basically an extended playdate where they get all their “required” stuff in, and then we get to spend the nights and weekends doing fun things like riding bikes or going to a museum. We don’t have to worry about making sure they know how to hold a pencil or practice their numbers (although we do that as well, we don’t have to be deliberate about it).
Your kids will be fine.
Anons says
My daughter was scheduled to go into a center at 16 weeks. We had put down a deposit and everything. It was the best one we could find, but the ratio was still 4 infants to 1 caregiver. After my daughter was born, she had terrible colic and cried all day, every day, and barely slept. I could hardly take care of her myself and I strongly believed that her temperament would be an issue at the center (with 3 other kids to look after, how could they possibly take care of her without neglecting the other infants or vice versa). She also had a birth issue that would need some physical therapy and a brace if it did not clear up by week 20 or so, and I was further concerned that the center would not do what was needed to take care of her medical issue. (Turns out, it was fine and we never needed to do anything other than monitor the issue the first year. But still.) My husband was also freaking out about all of this was dropping some hints that maybe I should just not go back to work (which would have been unfathomable before she was born, for either of us). I did go back to work, but only parttime (“lawyer part-time”, so I do have childcare 40 hours a week). Instead of using the center, we forfeited our deposit and hired a very experienced nanny to stay with our daughter. Cost-wise, it did not really make sense (we just about broke even the first year on nanny expenses with my salary). But it was best for my sanity and my longterm career plans and for my daughter’s temperament.
I know my story isn’t exactly a happy story, but we did find something that worked for us, eventually. Childcare is hard and your child’s own needs and temperament can play into it in ways that you might not expect yet.
Finally, I did a ton of research on this topic. Turns out, there aren’t any really good answers from science as to what is best for kids (at-home mom versus daycare versus nanny versus family caregivers versus whatever else). Probably because every family is different. The one study that stuck with me seemed to suggest that if the mom was happy with her childcare arrangements (whatever they were), then the babies tended to have good outcomes. For example, if a SAHM wished she was working, that might not be the best scenario, or vice versa for a working mom that thought she should be at home. What I took from that is that you need to do your best to find a childcare arrangement that works for you–or works for most of the time, anyway–and make your peace with it. A happy mama means a happy baby.
Good luck!
Anon says
This is such a great post. There is no one size fits all for childcare. Among my group of friends (all in high powered jobs in DC), we’ve had every single form of childcare (private nannies, nanny-shares, full time big corporate daycare at 12 weeks until K, preschool + part-time nanny, in-home daycares). In each case, the family would say that the childcare set-up works great for them, and is a great fit – but no “fit” is universal. If *you* feel uncomfortable with daycare for a 12 week old baby, then it won’t work for your family. Not because daycare (or a nanny, or a nannyshare, or ——) is inherently bad, but b/c you are uncomfortable with it.
I started my first son at a big corporate daycare (he started at 14 weeks), and I just did not like it. Turns out, I really like a lot of communication with our kids’ caregivers when they are very young, and I felt uncomfortable the whole time he was there. I pulled him, and he started with a nanny. I loved getting pictures, texts, etc. throughout the day. I also really value outside time, and the nanny was able to take him regularly to parks and he did classes at the zoo, etc. I liked structuring his day the way it would look if I were home with him. But, really, these were “me” issues, not a “him” issue. I was equally unhappy when we hired our second nanny, and there was a significant language barrier and she was older, and did not take him outside as much.
Anyway, as others have said, it’s more about YOU when they are young. If you are happy with the care, it will be great for your family. If you are not, keep looking – there are tons of options out there.
RR says
Yes, people do, and yes, they will be not just fine but wonderful. All three of mine have done full time daycare (9-10 hours a day) starting at 8-12 weeks, and all three are wonderful, social, happy kids who are not scarred for life. They get lots of attention, have friends, learn a lot. It’s been a great experience for us and for our kids. I get stabby at the fact that there are, indeed, people who will tell you that putting your kids in daycare is ruining your kids. I would submit that those are generally people who have no experience with a quality daycare.
Meg Murry says
+1 to not listening to people making judgments about daycare that have never actually experienced a high quality daycare. The vast majority of people I know that make comments about how they could “never put their kid in daycare” or “never send their kid to public school instead of private [or instead of homeschooling, or whatever]” have often never even stepped foot into the places they are judging, or have painted every single daycare/public school as terrible based off of a single negative experience after going to only one or from ancedata from friends.
My kids’ daycare teachers are educated, licensed professionals that have years of training and experience and that love teaching and interacting with children far more than I do. I have 0 doubts in saying they are better off there than at home with me all day. While in an ideal world they would only be at daycare for 7-8 hours a day so I could interact with them more, in that same ideal world there are magical house fairies that come clean my house and an infinite money tree in my backyard. In my real world I have to chose between 9-11 hours of daycare a day or one of us being a SAHP (and miserable), and I have no guilt choosing the first scenario.
Anon in NYC says
“in that same ideal world there are magical house fairies that come clean my house and an infinite money tree in my backyard” Sigh. If only.
GCA says
Oh, in my ideal world there are 2 of me, one to do the work I love and one to hang out with my kid, as well as the magical housecleaning fairies and infinite money tree.
Anons says
I know you are being hyperbolic, but I see no reason why my daughter (or at least my daughter’s daughter) can’t live in a world where she only has to put her children in daycare for 7 or 8 hours, especially when they are babies. I sincerely hope society is able to move in that direction.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 5 month old is in daycare from about 740-520ish, so almost 10 hours. Our center has 10 hour blocks until 6pm. So far so good. Agree with the others that he gets way more attention during his days there than when I or my husband were at home. Naps are definitely shorter there, but we try to make up for it with an earlier bedtime and on weekends. You love and care for your kid – that is most important. Don’t read SAHM shame blogs.
RR says
+1 to avoiding SAHM “shame blogs.” I like that term.
A good trick in all things parenting is to remember that everyone deeply wants to believe that they are doing the absolute objective best for their child, so they need anything other than what they are doing to be the wrong choice. That’s BS. There are a million shades of gray that depend on your particular family. There are very few black and white “right” choices. There are just right choices for you. Don’t get sucked into other people’s insecure need to justify their own choices (and don’t fall prey to it yourself).
Wow says
Your child will be fine but if you are worried, you can always hire a part-time nanny/sitter to do a later drop off or earlier pick up every day or even just a few days a week. We hired a responsible college student to pick up my then 9 month old from daycare every day at 4 pm. It worked out well because she brought him home, fed him an early dinner, gave him a bath, and then when I got home I could just focus on playing with him until bedtime (6:30 pm).
I will also say that I wasn’t crazy about this particular daycare so it was more important to me that he was picked up early. If I loved the daycare, I probably would have felt less of a need to hire the part-time sitter.
Anons says
This is actually a really good suggestion and not one that many would think of, though it seems so obvious if the concern is the hours spent in daycare. (Although, as others are saying, that really does not need to be a concern if you find a quality daycare you are comfortable with.) But a part-time sitter could either do drop off or pick up and maybe also take up some of the burden of packing up bottles getting things ready for the next day. Genius. Thanks for posting this. Will keep this in mind if we ever have a second.
Wow says
You’re welcome! We’re fortunate that we live next door to a university so we have a steady stream of good college students to help us out. Having the afternoon/evening help is critical for us, esp. now that I have two kids. But even with 1 kid it’s worth it, particularly if you have a spouse who often travels/stays late at work.
Meg Murry says
Our kids also often did daycare for 9-10+ hours a day since they were 10 weeks old, and I agree with everyone else that as long as it’s a high quality program they are probably getting more interaction than they would be plunked in a bouncer seat at home while I ran around like a crazy person.
The only caveat I have is to find out what hours your child’s core teachers work – many centers consolidate the kids together at the beginning and end of the day, and at our center it was the infant teachers + a floater or two that worked those earliest and latest shifts (the first hour the center was open, the last before they close). Which was fine when my kids were in the infant room, but it meant that when they went up to the toddler room their core toddler teachers worked 8-4 and 9-5, so if we did 7:30-5:15 we never actually crossed paths or interacted with our toddler’s main teachers, which just felt a little odd to not really know the people our kids were with all day (although we trusted them based off of what we heard from other parents, the newsletters and the overall daycare reputation). Making a point to try to either go in late and do a late drop-off or pick up early every couple weeks so that I could put a face to a name and see the teachers interacting with the kids made me feel a lot better about the long days.
Mrs. Jones says
Yes. Our son started day care at age 10 1/2 weeks. Since then he’s been in day care or school from about 8 am till 5:30 pm every weekday. He’s 5 and fine. I think people who might say otherwise are those that used only in-home care.
Karen Wilkins says
I think everyone else has echoed well the things I would say – your child will be fine in a quality childcare center, but you do whatever is best for you. I will say that when looking at daycares, the ones that were only open until 5:30 didn’t seem like real options for us because we always worked until 6, and we ended up at a magical unicorn of a facility with 5:30am to 7pm hours (tied to a hospital)…but it turns out that our little one absolutely requires an early bedtime. If you miss the window, you’re screwed. So now we have been taking turns getting off of work at 4 and making up the time in the evenings at home (we also go in earlier than we used to). Now that she is almost 2 she is staying up until 7:30, so I think we’ll be pushing pickup to 5 (that and she has started running away when she sees me at pick up and telling me to “go away” because she wants to keep playing)…but we have only left her at daycare until 5:30 once – the first full day of daycare, when I was in a wreck on the way to pick her up. Your plans will change, try to stay flexible as much as possible. And if you find a daycare with a separate sleeping room for the infants, those are AWESOME! None of ours here did, and our daughter never napped well at daycare, which was part of why she needed the early bedtime so desperately. (She also didn’t start until almost 5 months because that’s when her spot was available since she surprised us 7 weeks early – an earlier start might have helped her not be so spoiled to being held in a quiet house for naps)
Another R says
I’ve only skimmed the responses but totally agree with what appears to be the consensus that if you find a high quality daycare that you LOVE, your plan is more likely to work out. That said, it won’t always be easy (but no arrangement will be easy all of the time). One thing to think about is sleep. Babies sleep a lot (they also have problems sleeping but that’s a separate issue). There will be a period of a year or possibly two where if may feel like your kid spends little to no waking time with you and your co-parent during the work week. Some young children end up going to bed as early as 5:30 or 6. Sleep experts will tell you this is an age appropriate bedtime and while that doesn’t mean you can’t try to tweak it, you may not be very successful or you may not like the repercussions. When you account for up to 12+ hours of nighttime sleep, you may be looking at a period of months or even years where all work week non-daycare waking hours are spent shuttling your child to and from daycare. If you and co-parent have no other choice financially or otherwise, fine. If you do have other choices but this works for you and co-parent, that’s fine. But it may be really, really hard for you. It was really, really hard for a few close friends of mine and not something that any of us had sat down and thought about ahead of time.
Another R says
For the record, my kids started daycare at 6 months and were there from 8ish to 4:30ish (each was at home with a nanny from age 3-6 months). Our daycare allowed babies to start at 12 weeks but a ramp up was required in terms of length of stay – I think it started at 6 hours/day – over the first few weeks and the stay could never exceed 10 hours/day regardless of age. At ages 1 and 3 daycare was no longer working for our family – actually it was when the 2nd kid came along but we tried to tough it out – and we switched to nanny and preschool.
Meg Murry says
Yes, this is also true – there may be times when you feel like you are *never* seeing your child awake during the week. If you have any flexibility in your work week, we found that it worked better to have be have 1-2 nights a week that we *knew* I was going to work late, and on those nights I would work very late (for my field/office: 7-9 pm range) or bring work home to do late, and on other nights I would focus on getting home in time to have at least a little interaction with the kid before bedtime. I found that worked much better than me scooting in the door every single day with only 15 minutes until bedtime, or even worse, having missed bedtime by only 15 minutes.
I will admit that that was one of the driving factors for me to leave a job that was becoming more and more hated – between the hours and commute I would have entire work weeks where I didn’t see my son awake for more than about 1-1.5 hours total, and never once met one of his two preschool room teachers that entire year. I was lucky in that I had a husband that was handling most of the kid duties, but I had to move on from that job because that wasn’t sustainable for me or my family.
Legally Brunette says
This is an excellent point. Both my kids have been in daycare since about 6 months and because of the way the infant rooms were set up (no separate nap room), I don’t know how restful their sleep at daycare was. And while this didn’t seem to bother my older one that much (he went to bed about 7:30 pm), my younger one was EXHAUSTED by the time he went home and would be ready for bed by 6 pm. So there were some days when I either never even saw him at all in the evening or I’d see him for literally 10 minutes, befor our sitter put him to bed. Although I was sad to not see him, I strongly believe that sleep is essential so I was fine with that arrangement. But I know that some parents wouldn’t be as fine with it.
Another R says
I agree with you Legally Brunette that sleep is essential and would have done the same thing you did! The thing I didn’t understand until I had a kid – and possibly could not have fully understood until I had a kid even if someone had tried to explain it to me ahead of time – is how it would FEEL to me to not see my kid.
I’m not the type of parent who would ever say “I couldn’t possibly bear to miss a single precious moment” but not seeing my kids on any given day is really hard on me. Same with my husband. Sometimes work and other commitments mean one or both of us don’t see our kids but we’ve overhauled our schedules to be able to see them more than we would have if we’d kept our pre-kid schedules.
PregLawyer says
Also – I was in daycare 10 hours a day growing up, starting at 6 weeks old. So was my sister. Both my parents (lawyers) worked full schedules my entire childhood. In my opinion, we turned out great.
My son has been in daycare 9.5 hours a day since he was 3 months old. He loves it, we love it, I can’t imagine any other option would be better for him and us.
Anon in NYC says
So we took our first trip to the ER last night. My daughter fell off her cot at daycare (nothing too high, maybe 4 inches off the ground) and got a good bump on her head. We didn’t find out about it until we picked her up, but they said she cried, was easily consoled, and acted normally for the rest of the day. We got her home, where she proceeded to vomit multiple times. Of course we were worried about a concussion or possibly other brain injury (even though she was acting normally), so we took her to urgent care, who said we should go to the ER. The on-call pediatrician said it was a close call based on what we told her but recommended that we get a cat scan just to be sure. She was a champ during the process, and there’s no brain bleed or anything like that, so she may have a mild concussion or she may just have had a stomach bug on the same day that she bumped her head… we don’t really know. She’s home for the day. No real question, just a TGIF.
Lyssa says
Glad she’s OK! I always want to freak out after a head bump – what if something comes up later? What if it doesn’t cause whatever problem it would cause until the middle of the night? But they do have hard little heads!
GCA says
Eek! Glad she’s ok. Hope your weekend is more relaxing!
anon says
Ugh, I’m sorry, that’s terrible. It reminds me of the time my son, at around 6 months old, aspirated his vitamin drops and started wheezing so bad we called an ambulance. At the hospital, they found he had a fever and diagnosed him with the croup. I don’t think it was croup so much as a bad cold. He’s now 4, and every time he has postnasal drip irritating his throat he wakes up wheezing and barking in the middle of the night. His doctor said he may just have a congenitally narrow airway. Not fun.
Anon in NYC says
Ugh! That’s awful and so scary with a 6 month old!
ChiLaw says
We did our first ER trip this week too. Sunday night to Monday morning, actually. For croup. And then she’s been in and out of daycare all week (yesterday they sent her home with this vague “she’s not right” kind of thing, but I get it, she wasn’t herself and she needed to be coddled) but it has been an exhausting week. Here’s hoping for an uneventful weekend full of long naps.
Anon in NYC says
Oof. Sounds awful! I hope she recovers quickly.
JTX says
I would be very irritated at my daycare if they didn’t call me about this when it happened.
Anon in NYC says
I know. I’m fluctuating between very annoyed and wondering if this is part of their policy now that she’s in the toddler room, where kids are expected to get bumps and bruises. There have been a few minor things that her infant teacher would have called me about (like, she scratched her face last week but it was a very obvious red line that was still visible hours after the fact. Her infant teacher would have called me.).
Spirograph says
I’d ask about this. Our daycare has a policy that parents must be immediately notified of any head injury. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a call that 3 y.o. was running and bumped his head on a wall (no idea why he apparently never looks where he’s going when he runs). Non-serious non-head bumps are just info’d at the end of the day.
Glad your kiddo is ok, the vomiting sounds scary!
Em says
Our’s has the same policy. They called me once to tell me my 5 month old had a lightweight toy dropped on his head, that he had a small red mark that had since disappeared, and was acting fine. I was a little like “ok, am I supposed to do something here?” but was still glad they told me.
nope says
I get annoyed when I get these calls. How is this useful information? Just tell me at the end of the day.
anon says
If she really only fell 4 inches, I don’t know how they could be expected to think she had a severe injury. I mean, put yourself in their shoes.
Jen says
I’m late here but our center is required to immediately contact parents for any kind of head injury. Our daycare isn’t the most rule-abiding (eg they don’t follow the states tooth brushing mandate) but I get calls when anything happens to her head- hard knock into another kid’s head, scrape on her face, etc.
Id be surprised if the rules were different near you.
Anonymous says
When did you decide to stop pumping? Kiddo is almost ten months. He was fed exclusively BM until 6 months, so I was pumping three times a day at work. We started adding formula around then and I recently moved to pumping twice a day. it seems like the next step is to move to once a day, but what should I be thinking about in terms of when to do that and when to totally quit? Kiddo eats lots of solids and still nurses 2-3 times a day during the week (more often on weekends). Is it just when I’m over it? Any “real” reason to wait to a year when he’s on cows milk? Thanks!
Anonymous says
Should add: pumping is really just an inconvenience. I have the time to do it at work and a supportive boss. It’s just not the most fun l, so if there’s a solid reason to keep it up, I can, I just am “over it”! Is nursing 2-3 times a day enough to get the benefits like the antibodies and such?
Anon in NYC says
I started reducing my sessions around 11-11.5 months, right around the time we started eliminating bottles, and completely stopped just after my daughter’s first birthday. She continued to nurse mornings and nights until she got HFM and refused to nurse (at 15 months), so we had a very abrupt weaning.
But there is no right answer here. Reduce your sessions/stop pumping when you want to!
mascot says
My LC always said that even small amounts of breastmilk provide the antibodies and such (the whole it’s the presence of breastmilk, not the absence of formula reasoning). I also thought that the immunity benefit was more important in the early months, but I may have just made that up.
Another R says
You stop pumping when it’s no longer working for you and/or baby. There are no rules here (other than the fact that your workplace may make it harder after 1 year unless they follow WHO guidelines or are just reasonable people). My only suggestion is to drop down slowly to avoid problems like mastitis. Let your experience dropping from 3 to 2 be your guide with respect to future drops.
quail says
I stopped pumping before I stopped nursing by probably by three weeks. Since I planned on switching baby to cow’s milk at one year, I planned to drop a session a week or something like that. Pumping sessions were the first to go. I started mixing in cow’s milk at 11 months. If you stopped pumping or began reducing sessions today, you could likely still nurse until 1 year. And it is SO NICE to not pump!
Meg Murry says
The only “real” reasons are:
-you don’t want to pay for formula, or you can’t find one your baby can tolerate (which doesn’t seem to be your case)
-you 100% want to make sure you have the supply to be able to nurse whenever you want on weekends (some women will have their daytime supply drop dramatically when they aren’t pumping, making nursing during on day on the weekends painful or frustrating)
-Continuing to nurse during the day on weekends means you physically can’t make it through the work day without pumping without having some kind of pain/leaking/mastitis/clogged ducts
I’d say do the same things you did when you dropped from 3 pumps to 2 in order to go from 2 pumps a day to 1, and at that point you can decide when/if you want to taper off that last pumping session.
I have to say, getting an extra 40-60 minutes back into my workday every day felt so freeing! I could go out to lunch or run an errand and not worry! I didn’t have to wash pump parts every night or freak out when I forgot to put ice packs in the freezer!
Until I was 100% sure I was *done*, I continued to take a closed door break during my former pumping times for about a week or two so my boss and co-workers didn’t get used to me not pumping, in case I had to start back up for some reason.
I tapered off from 3 pumps to 2 around 10 months, 2 to 1 around 12 months, and then to not pumping at work at all (except for days that were more than 12 hours, then I just hand pumped so I wasn’t uncomfortable) by 13 months. I continued to nurse in the morning, before bed, and before weekend naps until 14 months, and then shifted to “don’t offer, but don’t refuse” for another month, and stopped nursing altogether at 15 months because I was ready to be done.
Anonymous says
Stop whenever you want to stop. In case it helps any unnecessary ‘mom guilt’ you may have:
In Canada we actually start cow’s milk at 9 months if they’re eating well. Most women go back to work at a year and hardly anyone pumps even if they’re still nursing morning/night when they go back to work.
I went back to work when baby was a year, nursed morning and night for another 6 months no problem – this is pretty common in my friend group.
Yes, you do still get antibody benefit from nursing a few times a day. Whatever antibodies you have to colds/coughs etc get shared with baby.
Anonymous says
Adding that if you’re nursing 2-3 times a day, don’t stress if baby doesn’t like cow’s milk. He probably doesn’t need anything additional.
MDMom says
I stopped when I wasn’t producing enough to make the session worth it and the first line ways to increase (nursing tea/bars, longer pumping session) wasn’t helping anymore. Dropped from 2—>1—>0. It ended up being somewhere around 10.5 months I think. I don’t even remember anymore, but I know I was only getting 2-3 oz at the end there. There is no real medical or other reason to wait until 1 year except pride, basically (and I don’t really mean to be so dismissive of this- 1 year was my goal too but I had to admit at some point that the only real reason was pride). I kept bf in morning until 1 yr, but we really limped to the finish there- I’m pretty sure he was getting no milk at all that last week or two. You should ask your pediatrician if you are concerned about it and want reassurance.
Anonymous says
My experience was similar. I gave up pumping when production was so low it was no longer worth it, around 8 months. I was running over to day care to nurse her twice during the day, so I was only pumping in the morning and evening. I tried to keep nursing until 12 months mainly to prove that I could do it and was a good mom, but she decided she was done at 10 months and I was so relieved.
AIMS says
I’m still pumping and nursing but had this talk with the pediatrician recently and she said we could introduce milk now (baby is 9 months plus) as she is eating solids well, has no dairy issues and is otherwise meeting all her nutritional needs. The year recommendation isn’t based on some magic number, just the concern that a baby won’t be getting enough nutrients, which if they’re not great eaters can be a real concern and if they eat well, not so much. Fwiw, in Canada the official guidelines are milk okay after 9 months and they seem okay to me :)
Anonymous says
Thanks all, this is really helpful. I planned to ask his ped but didn’t want to make a special appointment for it and his next checkup isn’t until he’s at one year.
MDMom, you hit the nail on the head with the pride thing. As Meg Murry noted, none of the “real” reasons apply. Kiddo takes formula fine, we can afford it, and I truly do have the time and work environment where I could continue pumping as long as I wanted. But I had it in my head I’d make it to a year and it’s been hard to shake that. I think I’ll switch to one session soon and see how that goes.
Thanks again, everyone!
Anonymous says
Piggybacking off the daycare question above: Husband and I can be home with our baby two days a week, so even though our LO will probably start daycare at about 3 months old, ideally we only want three days a week of day care (at least until she’s older). The problem is the best daycares in our area only offer full-time, five day per week care. Would you: 1) pay for five days a week at the best day care and just only send her in three days a week (we can afford this, but it seems like a waste of money), 2) send her to one of the “lesser” daycares that has a 3 days/week option or 3) look for a non-daycare solution like a nanny? Or something else I’m not thinking of?
Anonymous says
Definitely option 1. Sometimes you will want need part or all of one of those extra days for some reason. Maybe you have a doctor’s appointment, or the baby was sick one day and couldn’t go to day care so you decide to work on a day when you’d ordinarily be home so you won’t have to burn all your sick leave. This will also secure your spot at the “best” center for when you are ready to put her in care 5 days a week.
I paid for five days a week of day care when I was working three days a week, and it was absolutely worth it.
Meg Murry says
Have you actually toured the daycares to see the real differences between the best daycares and the “lesser” daycares? I think there’s a huge difference between “the good daycare offers immersion Mandarin and baby yoga and organic lunches while the lesser doesn’t” and “the good daycare has a ratio of 3 infants per adult and a good reputation in the community and I trust them while the lesser daycare has a ratio of 5 infants per adult, doesn’t look very clean and has a revolving door of staff and I’ve heard horror stories from others about it and I don’t feel all that comfortable leaving my kid there”.
My kids go to what is considered to be the “good” daycare as opposed to the “lesser” daycare in my town – but I know in some cities it would be considered a “lesser” daycare compared to some of the crazy amazing daycares amenities I’ve seen/heard about.
Another factor: do you or husband have flexibility in what your day “off” is, and do you have family or a babysitter you could use as backup? Because paying for 5 days a week would allow you more flexibility for when the kid gets sick: if the kid gets sick on Wednesday and that was a scheduled daycare day but you wind up staying home with him, that means you could send him to daycare on Thursday when you were scheduled to be home so you can work and stay caught up and/or don’t have to burn a sick or PTO day.
Also, in my area the part time options aren’t *that* much cheaper: the cost of 3 days a week is 75%-80% of the cost of 5 days a week and 2 days a week costs 50-60% of the full-time option. And/or the part time options exist in theory but in reality the center has a wait list and full time spots get priority so the only way you get a part time spot is if you are super flexible on taking a weird hodge-podge of whatever part-time space they have available.
Meg Murry says
Plus, having 5 day a week care is good for your own sanity, because you *will* get sick yourself and taking care of a baby while you are sick is miserable. Plus nothing says you couldn’t take the baby in late on your day off, run some errands or take care of things that are easier to do during business hours like banking, haircuts, car maintenance or grocery shopping and then pick them up early so you got a half day off to get things done and half a day to have some parent/child time.
Huzzah! says
Yes. Absolutely I would, and in fact, I did.
We were fortunate that I was able to take a few months and then my husband was able to stay at home for 3 months, so we didn’t need care until baby was 8 months old. A spot opened up at our preferred daycare when baby was just under five months old, so… we actually paid for full-time care that we did not need for two and a half months. Yes. Really.
There was one month where we paid for a full month of full-time care, but baby went literally once. We later started to use daycare to drop baby off for a couple of hours so we could get stuff done around the house, etc, but we paid for way more care than we needed.
And it. Is. Awesome. I love my daycare and honestly consider the money we spent just an investment in our careers and my kid’s happiness.
Anonymous says
We did this as well. Twins got a got a month before we needed it. We paid for two spots for a month that we didn’t use – totally worth it.
pockets says
I would send her to the lesser daycare. Money’s money. Use the extra to pay for a class, a datenight sitter, college fund, or some extravagance.
Anonymous says
Keep the 5 day a week spot if you can swing it. Up all night with baby who has a cold and have the next day off? Baby can go to daycare for 3 hours and you can nap to maintain sanity. Heaven. Use your money to buy this – totally worth it. You could even drop baby off regularly on your day off for an hour so you can go to the gym/have lunch with a friend/grocery shop alone (aka mom vacation). This kind of sanity maintaining stuff is important.
ChiLaw says
Totally agree with this. My sister and her husband, about once every two months, play hooky on a Friday. Kids go to daycare but the parents take a vacation day and spend a whole day together running errands, eating food that they don’t have to share with toddlers, maybe walking by the beach without worrying about someone drowning… Sounds like heaven.
TBK says
Kids had their first two days of school this week (3 hrs in the morning) and it’s really weird for me. I’m lucky that in every childcare setting I’ve had I’ve been able to get a full re-cap when I came back, whether that’s the 10 min or so my au pair and I spend chatting when I first get home from work, or the two minute re-cap I get from the ladies in the nursery at church when I go pick them up after the service. At school, the pick-up is so chaotic (but in a controlled way — just shepherding a dozen 2-3 year olds out the door and into cars and strollers is going to chaotic) that it’s out of the question to talk to the teachers. Double for drop-off when half the classroom is crying because mom or dad just left. My kids are at a point where they can talk about what’s in front of them (“want milk” “that’s a dog” etc.) but I don’t think most 2 yr olds can give a full recital of their morning’s activities. There are regular parent-teacher conferences and reports that go home I think monthly, and I’m not worried about anything, but it’s very weird to just not know what happened while they were at school. We also missed parents’ night and the meet the teacher day because we were away, so we’re going into this a little blind. I don’t want to bother the teachers on the first week, but I just feel weird not knowing what my kids are up to, how they’re doing, etc. I realize that’s part of school, but they’re also just 2 years old.
Anon in NYC says
I actually was listening to the most recent episode of Slate’s Mom and Dad are Fighting podcast and they were discussing how soon is too soon to contact your kids teachers. The answer (from a guest who is a teacher) is that it’s never too soon to check in and see how your kids are doing and the only thing to be careful of is tone (like, don’t imply that they’re not doing a good job). So, I would email the teacher and introduce yourself, say that you were able to go to either of those two events, and you just wanted to check in and see how your kids were adjusting.
NewMomAnon says
I know this is probably too late – but you would be surprised at the information you’ll get from your boys. It won’t come when you are expecting it, and definitely not when you prompt them. But suddenly they’ll be singing a song nobody at home recognizes, or perform some new chore that you didn’t teach them, or talk about some art project or field trip or book. My daughter kept telling me about her teacher “riding a dinosaur” and it turned out to be a song the teacher sang with a little puppet.
You should find a time to connect with the teacher and ask about the daily routine. I don’t know exactly what my daughter does in any given day, but I know the day starts with breakfast, and then group time, then open play or some activity, then art, and then outside time, lunch, nap, quiet play, snack, open play, outside time. So I have a rough idea of what she’s doing.
Travel with Baby says
Could I get some help strategizing business travel with my kid? She’s ~20 months old, and we’re going to a small city for a week for a conference hosted by my employer. My husband is coming to take care of the kiddo, and because it might be kind of fun during the non-working times.
We aren’t renting a car. We didn’t buy the kid a seat on the plane. My plan was to bring the car seat to the plane anyway, and hope that if there’s an extra seat available the people at the gate will hook us up. Is this nuts though? Will I regret bringing the seat?
Also the CEO and his wife are going to be on the same flight as me, which is anxiety inducing. (Though presumably they’ll be way up front and we will not.) I don’t really have a plan to keep baby under control except lots of fun toys and snacks. The good news is that it’s a short flight.
And then! We’re sharing an airport shuttle (will be a private SUV) with the aforementioned CEO to the hotel. It’s not obnoxious to install the car seat in the shuttle, right?
sigh… I just really want to be unobtrusive but that’s sort of impossible with a kid.
TBK says
I’d be surprised if they “hooked you up” with a seat. (I assume you mean without paying for it? Or are you essentially hoping the kid can fly stand-by? But also, what are the odds that the seat would be next to either your seat or another empty seat?). I’d check the car seat at the check in counter. As for the flight, my kids are never allowed to have our phones so handing over a smart phone for the flight usually kept mine fully occupied for at least 90 min. Better yet, bring a tablet loaded with favorite videos and toddler apps. If your toddler still likes a pacifier, definitely bring it for take off and landing. If not, at least be sure to feed her snacks on take off and landing so she’s chewing and popping her ears. As for the shuttle, I think it depends on your CEO. How well do you know him? If he’s an easy-going type he might be fine with the car seat installation process. If not (or if your car seat is a huge pain to install) consider springing for your own taxi instead of taking the shuttle.
pockets says
I’ve flown twice where there’s been an extra seat and we were able to finagle our way into it so our lap infant could have her own seat. It happens, but you’re betting on the fact that the flight will have an empty seat.
Travel with Baby says
When baby was much littler, like a year ago, the two times we flew we didn’t buy her a seat but the gate agents waved us over and offered us an extra seat for her, so I don’t think it’s totally nuts to think it might happen again. But she’s less “omg a tiny new baby” and more “oh boy a rowdy toddler” now, so maybe less sympathetic.
PEN says
check the car seat–you can do it at the gate. Use the car seat in the shuttle. Make sure you are comfortable installing it and can do it quickly. do not apologize. and have fun!!!
Anons says
Buy a cheap Cosco Scenera lightweight carseat and get familiar with installing it before you leave. I’ve always been much happier having a “travel” carseat and not taking our nicer, heavier ones on flights. I’m also a big advocate of buying a seat for all babies, no matter how small (due to relatives that work with the National Transportation Safety Board, which has long urged the FAA to require a seat for all passengers). But if you aren’t reserving a seat, I think you would have to plan to check it at the gate, although you can try to finagle an empty seat next to you, if that is possible before you check it. If you gate check, you might want to bring some sort of bag to cover it. Amazon sells a few cheapo ones. The bag would hopefully help the carseat not get wet or dirty if it is raining or there is a spill in the cargo area.
With the CEO, I would go with my gut. If the CEO seems like the type that might be frustrated to wait on a carseat install it would probably be worth it to make up some excuse and take a separate cab. No need to add additional stress for yourself if it can be avoided. Also, if it is such a small city, would you be happier renting a car anyway? You can always tell the CEO that husband insisted on having a car.
Good luck and safe travels!
Travel with Baby says
OK I’m glad you’re giving this advice, because we bought her grandparents a lighter, cheaper car seat, and now I think I’ll just take that! It might actually be the Cosco one. And a bag from Amazon, check!
CEO has no kids, which gives me pause, but he also runs a super family friendly organization, so… ugh I’ll ask husband’s opinion.
We’ve talked a lot about renting a car but it seems like it won’t be worth the cost. Taking a separate cab should be possible, if it ends up being awkward. I’ve never installed a car seat in a cab, but why not start now?
ER says
In my world, a CEO would not check a bag and would not want to wait for someone who did. There are so many airport to-dos after landing with a toddler (wait for gate checked items, find fresh milk at Starbucks, diaper change, etc) and I would personally find it really stressful if I thought my boss were waiting for me. I would absolutely use and install the car seat in the airport shuttle SUV. Why wouldn’t you?
Anon says
Can you go me ahead with the CEO and your husband hangs back with the kiddo to catch the next shuttle?