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Now that I have the option of heading back into the office, I’m going to need a bigger bag for all the stuff I’ll be carrying back and forth.
I’ve been on the hunt for a bucket bag for a while, and this one from Hyer Goods might be the one. This spacious bag is lined in black (no more visible pen or makeup stains) and features a magnetic closure, zip interior pocket, and an adjustable strap.
I love the “coral-ish” color for summer (there are also plenty of other colors and even textures if coral-ish is not your thing). The greatest thing about this bag is it’s made from upcycled leather!
The Bucket Bag is $210 from Hyer Goods.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anonymous says
I really like this bag and the price point, but nearly all the colors are warm-toned and all my clothes are cool-toned.
AnonATL says
I’m considering getting a local hotel room for a weekend. DH gets it for half the weekend and I get it for the other half.
We have had so much togetherness. I just want to take an extremely long and hot shower, lay in a large bed drinking a glass of wine, and watch trashy tv with no one bothering me. The hotel I’m considering also has a nice shopping center nearby and lots of restaurants
Given the option, would you take Friday 4pm- Saturday noon or Saturday noon- Sunday checkout?
Anonymous says
Saturday noon – Sunday checkout, unless that will leave you scrambling to do all the weekend chores on Sunday afternoon.
Cb says
Yep, agreed. The Friday PM you might just be so exhausted.
Anonanonanon says
I’m the opposite because of the latter half of your statement. I would worry I’d come home and have to spend all of Sunday afternoon cleaning up, doing laundry, etc. thus undoing the benefits of the time away. I’d take first hotel shift and give the kids screen time and snacks the rest of it so I could have a leisurely rest of the weekend.
I would go Friday, get settled, sit outdoors at a restaurant nearby with a cocktail and a meal, get a to-go cocktail, take a shower and drink the to-go cocktail in bed with trashy TV. Next morning I’d get a leisurely coffee, maybe come back and take a nap, then head home fortified with nap to deal with the kids the rest of the day.
Anon says
If you’re sharing it with DH, I would do Friday to Sunday so you each get one night at the hotel. Otherwise I agree Saturday to Sun.
Anonymous says
I read the question that they’re getting it Friday to Sunday and she is deciding whether her night is Friday night or Saturday night.
I’d go for Saturday night. I hate getting relaxed and then coming home to be the only parent and get all annoyed again right away.
Anon says
Oh yeah that makes more sense, sorry I haven’t had coffee yet.
Boston Legal Eagle says
What time is checkout? If it’s 11am or so, wouldn’t the Saturday shift give that person about 3 more hours? So that’s the one I would take! And I agree with others that I’m more a delayed gratification person in that I would rather take the kids first, and then have the relaxation. I would probably just veg as a family Sunday afternoon and put off chores for this weekend.
anne-on says
Ha, ok, so I’m not the only nitpicking person who noticed that. I’d say whoever gets the Friday/Saturday shift should be ‘off duty’ no later than noon to even up the times. I’d take the Friday-Saturday shift. Leave the house around noon, drop bags, have a leisurely lunch (fancy salad, fries, glass of wine, whatever), wander around the shops, and then head back to the hotel when you’re able to check in. Order room service (with fancy dessert!) and have a bubble bath before it arrives. Eat in your bathrobe on the bed and veg out to your favorite trashy shows/movie. Sleep in the next morning (and order room service breakfast again!!).
I’d also explicitly split chores with your husband. One person handles laundry, one person handles groceries, and the kids get as much screen time as they can handle.
AnonATL says
Yeah my mental math is pretty rough this early in the morning. Hotel check out is 11am so we could adjust swap time.
I’m leaning toward the Saturday shift and each parent would have 2 designated chores that have to get done during their on duty time.
Anonymous says
I sent my husband to a hotel last Saturday, and am hoping to do the same myself in a couple weeks. So, so excited.
Anonymous says
Why not have each person stay Saturday night on two consecutive weekends? That way no one would get stuck with doing chores after their relaxing time away.
Anon says
i agree with this suggestion. and then you don’t have to come back and solo parent right away
Anon says
I’m cheap but you get a lot more bang for your buck if you stack the nights. Otherwise you lose the 11-4 window (or whatever is based on the checkout and check in times) in between the two nights.
Anon says
Does anyone else have a (newly turned) 4 year old that’s dropped the nap but still needs a little snooze? My dds behavior has gotten worse after dropping nap and she sleeps at 745-615 to 645. Is that enough sleep? If she sleeps earlier than 745, she wakes up in the motn. Maybe we just need to ride this out. Curious if anyone has tips. Thanks!
Anon says
My experience with kids dropping the nap is that they often have a couple months where they are most likely to fall asleep at like 4:30… which makes everything a nightmare.
That sounds like a good amount of sleep, but I would encourage ‘quiet’/rest time in the early afternoon. Just books or tablet or a little TV at the time formerly known as nap time.
Anonymous says
Yes. This was an issue with 2/3 of my kids. During the week, we often let them veg out on the sofa with a tv show for a half hour when they got home from daycare. They didn’t need to full on sleep but they did need to rest. On the weekend, we sometimes planned our activities so they could have a little doze in the car on the way home from the activity. Keeping it before 5pm and under a half hour mean it rarely affected bedtime.
Anonymous says
Agree with rest. We also like to do a once a week nap if we can, typically on Saturday afternoon. If she goes to bed a little late, it is low stakes. But it makes a big difference in her attitude. I try to avoid Sunday becuase I like her to go to bed at her regular time to start the school week.
Anon says
My 3 year old also naps only on Saturdays, although it’s her choice not ours. I think she’s worn out from the week at school and wants a nap to catch up on sleep. By Sunday I guess she’s rested enough to refuse her nap (we always put her down for it but these days she almost never sleeps).
Pogo says
Yes. We ended up hiring a sleep consultant and determined we needed to move bedtime WAY up when there was no nap – as early as in bed at 6pm. After consistently doing this, his sleep and behavior really improved. If we get lax on bedtime, we see the issues start up again.
We did see early morning wakings, but we enforce the ok to wake and he will stay in his room til 6:30 even if he wakes earlier.
Anon says
11 hours of sleep is a good amount of sleep for a 4 year old I think. My daughter is 3 but hasn’t napped consistently since she turned 2. When she first dropped the nap she crashed hard at 6:30 pm and would often sleep through until 8:30, but 2 year olds need a lot more sleep than 4 year olds. Now that it’s summertime and the nights are shorter, she’s often not asleep until 8 pm (we put her in bed at 7 pm but it takes her a while to fall asleep) and up around 7-7:30, even as early as 6:30 on very sunny days. I think her night will probably extend again in the fall when the daylight hours get shorter, but I’m pretty sure we’re done with the days of 14 hour nights. And yes she’s noticeably crankier in the summer when she sleeps less – it’s annoying but I also don’t want to mess with her circadian rhythms by putting her in a windowless room or something like that, because I think for an adult it’s good to be able to sleep and wake with the sun (she inherits this from my husband, who has never struggled with insomnia like I do).
Anon says
My 4yos still nap 1-2 hours each afternoon, so their overnight sleep is 8:30-7:30ish, but they’re going to have to drop nap for when school starts in September and we’re assuming that’s going to push bedtime much earlier to compensate.
Anonymous says
In my inexperience, kids are just cranky for a few months after dropping a nap. 11 hours may or may not be enough for your specific child; mine needed 12 at that age so we had a 7:00 lights out for the last couple years of preschool (but did not have middle of the night wake ups to contend with). Definitely had a significant behavioral impact from dropping naps, but what can you do?!?
Anonymous says
My just turned 3 y/o stopped napping at 2.5. She sleeps ~7:30pm-7am +/- 30 min on either side. Sometimes she’ll take a 5-10 min power nap in the car mid afternoon.
Anonymous says
Our kid has fallen apart in a year of zoom school and appears to be actually depressed (per a psychologist). I wonder how this will be to dig her out of this. She is just 10. Her school was closed for nearly a year and on line learning did not work for her (online worksheets and links to zoom videos, 4 hours with a tutor to help actually teach her, one outdoor activity kept going). I reduced my hours to 75%, but it was not enough. I feel like she is broken in spirit and I don’t have the skills to fix this.
Anonymous says
Eek — 4 hours weekly with a tutor. We’re not a DIY Kumon over here, just trying not to drown.
Anon says
I’m sure that is so hard as a parent. From this internet stranger i want you to know that you did your best. what are the psychologists suggestions? What is your kid up to this summer? Any camps? Hopefully spending some time outside and out of the house will help. Sending lots of hugs your way
sara says
If a psychologist said she is depressed and based on what you said it seems like this is likely related to lack of social interaction. Is she going to go to in-person summer camp? Does she like summer camp? Could she visit or stay with any cousins or friends for a chance in pace?
I’m trying to think of any typical-adult-depression-helpers that would work for a 10 year old, but I agree that on line learning is pretty dull, so I feel for her. I think you’re doing all the right things, having an ongoing outdoor activity is great. Is there a particular hobby she can do at home that you can encourage? Something artistic, or learning a new skill?
Anonymous says
My second grader was acting what my non medical self diagnosed as depressed. It got better when school opened hybrid and it got WAY better when I sent her to a pod learning program and did activities/selective play dates. They went back full time in April and she’s back to her old self
Spirograph says
Yes, this was my experience with my 2nd grader last year, too. Social interaction with groups of other kids was the solution. Unstructured, lightly supervised playtime with friends or even strangers (bring a ball to a playground and see who joins in) would probably help a lot. Summer camp would probably be great, too, My kids were practically glowing after a parents’ night out where some college kids led field games at a winery recently.
I’m sorry, OP. It’s hard to see your kids feeling that way. We’re all doing the best and it’s been a really tough year. I hope summer is a good break for her and brings some light back.
Anonymous says
Time outdoors makes a huge difference for my kids. Can you take her for a walk outdoors each evening with you or include one of her friends?
Are there any outdoors daycamps in your area this summer? Our local botanical gardens runs one that is basically entirely outdoors. And a local petting zoo/farmer’s market place has one that is outdoors a lot and the kids love interacting with the farm animals (collecting eggs, brushing horses etc)
Anonymous says
What are her summer plans? I’d be looking to get her outside with other kids at camp every day.
Mrs. Jones says
Therapy? Play or otherwise?
No Face says
I would say my preschooler was severely depressed/anxious when school was virtual. It was devastating for me to watch, especially because I felt helpless to change anything. It all evaporated when she went back to school in-person. Honestly, it was like magic. She is thriving in a way that she hadn’t even before the pandemic.
Enroll your kid in summer camp ASAP. As in today. As in right now. Your local YMCA camps are mostly outdoors even before the pandemic, and not very expensive. It is absolutely imperative that she be around other kids most days of the week, as soon as humanly possible.
Anon says
My 9yo daughter hasn’t seen a psychologist but I’m seeing similar signs in her. We found an in person day camp but it still requires small cohorts and masking (which I’m okay with, but I feel like she needs more.)
I reached out to the moms of her two best friends, and one other has struggled too. We parents decided we’re okay with unmasked Friday night sleepovers each week this summer. The mental health impact is just so great at this point, it outweighs potential risks. I think having that to look forward to during the week will help her, and I trust the other families to stick to our group guidelines or skip the sleepover if they have to deviate.
If they weren’t comfortable with sleepovers, I was going to ask for outdoor playdates all day Sunday. Something to let her have a social life again, to let her be a kid again. The sleepovers start next Friday and she’s already planning bike rides down the street and homemade popsicles – she’s smiling and excited again, and it’s lifting the spirits of all of us. I’m crossing fingers this will help, but also will still be on alert for signs that we need additional interventions.
Anonymous says
This may not be possible financially or where you live, but what about horseback riding lessons? They’re often used as therapy for kids with physical disabilities, but I think they can be just as effective as a form of mental therapy.
Anonymous says
+1. COVID-safe (as good as it gets, anyway) and the challenge/learning involved, plus the connection with the horse, sounds PERFECT for your daughter right now.
Dog Lady says
I think the previous suggestions are all good ones. Also, this is going to maybe sound insane, but are you pet people? Dogs are great for mood and improving mental health and a lot of kids really bond with them.
(They’re a lot of work too, so proceed with caution – and I don’t mean that they are a substitute for therapy. But it’s something to potentially consider in brainstorming!)
Anonymous says
A dog is nice, but it won’t be enough.
Dog Lady says
I don’t think it will be enough by itself, but there is a lot of research showing that they reduce anxiety and depression and raise oxytocin levels.
It’s not a cure all or a substitute for social interaction and/or mental health care. But it’s just an idea, and one that is supported by research.
Anonymous says
It helps me get outside. I know I feel better when I get outdoor time but I go outside and I’m like so…. what do I do? Sitting outside by myself and sitting outside with my dog feels totally different. Same with going on walks.
Anonymous says
Our dog is very helpful to me in this way, but despite how much my daughter loves the dog it doesn’t seem to have the same effect on her. She needs to go back to school.
CPA Lady says
I would do as much as you can to do any kind of full time in person school/activities/camps, etc. This is not a random depression that came out of nowhere. This is situational, and should lift over time as her situation improves. You may be shocked at how quickly she comes back to her old self. And if she doesn’t, then I’d look into counseling.
FWIW, my kid had a rough time at home too and was back to normal surprisingly quickly once she got back to full time in-person school in January. We also moved to a friendly neighborhood with tons of kids her age and that has been really wonderful, in terms of being able to walk down the street and find a pack of kids her age to play with. (I’m not suggesting you move, just commenting on the wonder of casual, unscheduled, unstructured, unsupervised play — this is something I wanted as an option long-term, since she is an only child and doesn’t have the benefit of a built in playmate.)
Anon says
+1. My daughter is in preschool so I realize it’s not the same at all, but I think she had some kind of depression or anxiety during lockdown. In her case maybe it had more to do with her life totally changing in a way she didn’t understand than actually missing her friends, but either way she snapped back to normal pretty much immediately when her school reopened in August (and they wear masks at school – in contrast to the person above I don’t really understand why having to wear masks would be a big deal as long as you can still go to school, play with your friends and do the activities you love).
Anon says
I’m the Anon above who thinks the masks aren’t quite the same. They’re keeping the cohorts really small and maintaining social distancing – so they all still sit 6 feet apart and don’t share supplies. I do think it’ll be great and a huge step forward, but it still misses so much of that unstructured, casual play everyone is missing that I think (hope) is key to lifting spirits.
Anonymous says
FWIW, the parents I know who sent their first-grader back to school in person report that even though everyone is masked and distanced and confined to their seats, it has made an enormous difference to their child.
Anon says
Ah that makes sense. I think distancing does interfere with social interactions in a way masks don’t. Our preschool only enforces distancing when the kids are unmasked (meals and naps) so I don’t think the kids really notice too much – it’s just a matter of having the cots and chairs farther apart than they used to be.
Anonymous says
Yes, kids are resilient enough to deal with wearing masks just fine. It’s adults who can’t cope.
Anon says
i know everyone on here is always venting about their 3 year olds, and wow my twins turned 3 last week and it’s like a switch flipped and they’ve become so challenging- refusing to clean up their toys, throwing/dropping cups and utensils at meals, unwilling to get dressed. Everything is a battle. I do a lot of solo parenting – help!
Cb says
Ugh, our threenager stage was delayed to nearly 4 – with hitting and screaming that he NEVER did as a toddler. It’s not frequent but I just don’t have the coping skills for it.
twins + toddler says
Found out at yesterday’s ultrasound that our surprise second baby is actually twins. Kid Number One will be just shy of two when Two and Three get here.
I am still spinny from this news, mostly in a good way, I think; I laughed and my husband cried (via FaceTime, sign of the times). I don’t even know what to start asking, but I would be so appreciative of whatever this wise community can offer. FWIW, we’re feds in DC, no local family, and our toddler is in daycare. Ay yi yi. Words of wisdom/caution/encouragement, please!
Spirograph says
I only have singletons, so no advice, but congratulations!
Anon says
Congrats! Our twins are only kids # 1 and 2, but yes that ultrasound (for us at 18 weeks) is quite a shock! We’re also in the DC area with no local family, but found an amazing group of local parents (with both twins and singletons).
Anon says
this seems to happen all the time. i know others who had one kid just shy of two who then had twins, so had 3 under 2 with a toddler in daycare. we have twins, but they are our only kids. some people i know say it’s easier to have twins second bc you aren’t as anxious as a new parent. hire as much help as you can afford, like a night nurse. plan for as much family to come help you as you can. outsource whatever you can. lean on your village – have a friend set up a mealtrain for you that includes both local and distanced friends who will be more than happy to send you a meal via uber eats. there are some posters on here who have 1 and then twins, so maybe post again tomorrow morning. are they fraternal or identical? the blogger inspiralized has two young kids and is pregnant with surprised twins. congrats!
Anon says
Hi me from 18 months ago! (Well, minus the unplanned part but with the added bonus of a long-standing premonition/fear of having twins as a second pregnancy). My twins just turned a year old (so my oldest just turned 3), and it’s been . . . a lot. Hopefully your twins are di/di – it makes for a much easier pregnancy.
Join all the twin groups you can- I am in Alexandria so I’m in NVPOMs, along with MoDi Twins. Even if you don’t participate, it’s helpful to learn what to expect. My favorite twin pregnancy books were “What to Do When You’re Expecting Two” and “You Can Two” my older daughter LOVED all the Paris Morris kids books (out of print but worth hunting down). Say yes to all the help – this year, that meant mostly food delivery, but we said yes to basically everything. We stayed in daycare because it was a better personality fit for us, although many switch to nanny. If you’re not in a fed daycare now, try to get into one to save money.
Overall, twins are hard. Having a two year old is hard (frequently it’s the same amount of energy to care for the toddler as it does the twins combined). Shift sleeping is important in the early months, creating and evolving systems/schedules are also extra important. I think the best thing I did for myself was not trying to make BF happen – I pumped until a bit after their due date and switched to formula and it’s been just a lifesaver. Also, the discussion that’s been had over the past few weeks – the idea that ‘one kid is an accessory, two kids is a lifestyle’ – that transition is even harder when you go from 1 to 3.
Oh, and just buy the minivan, and the Joovy Qool stroller (the 3 kid stroller options are lacking).
HSAL says
It was a little over 3 years ago when I heard “Girl, you got two babies in there” at the 19 week anatomy scan. I cried (to be clear, it was not in a good way) for two days, so you’re already ahead of me! Our oldest was a little over 2 1/2 when they were born. We also didn’t have any local family, but line up as much family help as you can for the first couple months. Let people do as much for you as they can. Buy a minivan.
My grandmother died the month before they were born, and she had the best response to my announcement: “Well, that’ll be all right.” And it was. You’ll get through because you literally have no choice, but it’ll be all right.
And if you later find out they’re actually triplets, keep quiet and just leave one at the hospital.
Anon says
hahaha to your last paragraph.
AnotherAnon says
We’re fostering four month old twins and have a four year old (not the same as a two year old: my heart goes out to you). Things I have done that I didn’t with my first: Ask for help, get a night nanny, buy a minivan. Get a TwinZ pillow in case they have reflux. Join twin groups: I had a ton of stuff donated to me by other twin moms. Good luck! It will be exhausting and so worth it.
Anon says
Wondering if this is just an issue in my area or if it’s all over – my daycare is dealing with a serious staff shortage. A consortium of daycares in our area has sent out a semi-coordinated email asking parents to share their job postings and also apologizing if admin staff weren’t able to answer the phone.
They’re also having a big issue with hiring people who just… never show up for the first day or show up for a couple days then don’t come back. Now, my daycare offers full benefits, lots of paid time off, and pays decently. No weird shifts, super normal shifts.
Anon says
i don’t know about this, but anecdotally i do know a number of people who hired daycare teachers as nannies last year and even once the daycare reopened, the families and the teachers decided to keep the nanny arrangement.
Anon says
Our area is definitely experiencing it, too. They don’t answer the phone from 10-3 because there’s not enough staffing.
Anon says
I think it’s a national issue. My daycare doesn’t appear to be suffering too badly, but I know they have some unfilled positions.
Anonymous says
Our old daycare that I still follow on FB (our child is in school now) has been posting a ton looking for staff recently. Not sure what the cause is. I still know a lot of the teachers, and they are still there.
Anonymous says
I wonder whether part of the problem is the current inability to combine classes or use floaters as freely, which increases the number of adults required to keep two adults in each room at all times.
anon says
This was true for my kids’ daycare even before the pandemic (fall 2019). The director said she had multiple instances of teachers accepting job offers and then just not showing up on the first day.
Realist says
I’m seeing shortages on both ends in our area. Lots of daycares looking for staff and lots of parents having trouble finding a daycare spot.
Anon says
In my area, the recruiting problem long predated the pandemic, especially for highly qualified early childhood educators. The pandemic did seem to exacerbate the problem, though.
I think it’s really hard to get the right candidates to go into early childhood education in our area because even good comp for the field doesn’t go far in our VHCOL area.
Mathy says
My daycare is in metro Detroit! From what I understand a lot of other centers nearby are also having issues. For us, this means weeks of rotating closures through all of the classrooms. The next one for our child’s class is luckily a week that we’re going to be out of town, but eeesh – we had one in May and I was hopeful that’s all that needed to happen. And we’re doubly lucky that we have local family to help, and I cringe to think about what it’s like for parents with no local family to watch kids when daycare is closed.
Katala says
Given that many women dropped out of the workforce due to childcare issues in the past year, and nearly all daycare workers are women, this doesn’t seem surprising. Maybe it will improve somewhat if school can go back to being reliably in person next year.
Anonymous says
I am hosting a small group of incoming kindergarten girls for a get-to-know-your-future-classmates at date. What kinds of activities (if any) would you suggest? Toys to put out? There will be 5-6 girls and each girl knows maybe 1-2 of the others. We will be outside.
Anonymous says
Oops! Should say “play date”
Anonymous says
I’d just put out a bunch of art supplies and bubbles.
Anon says
you will be outside at your house? does your backyard have a swing set or anything? what toys do you usually put outside? stomp rocket, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, i was recently at something and they put out hoola hoops and the kids couldn’t really figure them out, but it was funny to watch. depending on the setting, you could print out some free online coloring sheets and have some crayons, so that this way if any of the girls are a bit more hesitant or aren’t as into running around, they have something to do. i wouldn’t feel any pressure to do too much more than that, unless that’s your thing.
Anonymous says
Bubbles, chalk, hoola hoops, soccer ball,
Anonymous says
I would start with one simple organized activity to break the ice. Decorate-your-own food (cupcakes, cookies, etc.) is fun and giggly.
Anon says
+1 I like this idea.
Anon says
+2. This is the best idea. One organized idea (if food is too fraught, you can do coloring pages or set up an old timey game like hopscotch or sack races or kick the can). Then have soccer balls and bubbles and stuff and leave them to their own devices.
Kick the can is actually fun – it’s a combo of hide and seek and tag. Put a can (we use a water bottle) in the yard, and designate an It. Everyone else tries to kick the can without being tagged by It. If you’re tagged, you go to jail until someone kicks the can, then everyone is free again. For young kids, you can start with an adult as “It” and then eventually kids will want to take a turn and adults can step out of the game.
EP-er says
Such a nice idea for the girls!
We played lots of get to know you games in Girl Scouts. You can do a name game/song. Or a Get to Know You Circle: everyone stands in a circle. Then you shout out something a description: a summer birthday! brown eyes! has a cat! If it applies to them, they run across the circle to an open spot. And then you can ask what their cat’s name is or something. Good for outside & distancing & moving. (We played with a parachute if you have one.)
I would also have bubbles and chalk and maybe balloons/beach balls.
Mary Moo Cow says
Great idea! Our school is hosting a few of these over the summer, on the school playground, and I’m excited about them. I hope it will make the first days of school a bit easier, because kids will have met some classmates.
Anonymous says
OP here. Ours does this (in Norma times) but it’s sort of a free for all. It’s like 80 kids on the playground.
Yes, it will be at our house and we have a bazillion outdoor things- climbing dome, swing set, slackline, zip line, treehouse, soccer balls and goals, hula hoops and huge balls etc (my K-er is not my oldest or only!!).
I was thinking of something slightly more organized to help the kids warm up but not super formal. Without COVID I’d do a craft or something but is that too much touching/sharing?
anon says
YMMV but I don’t think touching is a big deal for COVID transmission and would be totally fine with shared craft supplies at an outdoor event.
Anon says
+1. Most people I know aren’t worried about touch at this point and there’s nothing you could do at an outdoor playdate that would concern me except maybe share food (in the sense of multiple kids biting into the same cupcake, not in the sense of each kid taking one cupcake from a tray that’s passed around – and that’s obviously gross even w/o Covid).
Our daycare is (frustratingly to me) still not letting kids touch the same things and sanitizing toys between uses. The kids spend 8 hours a day sharing the same air, a large chunk of it maskless while eating and sleeping. They’re not going to spread Covid by touching the same toy.
Anon says
or just buy those little craft kits at michaels that come with all the supplies for each kid. they are like $1-3 each and the kids don’t need to share, if htat is a concern for you
So Anon says
I’m attending a virtual conference yesterday and today for my industry. Their first keynote was on self-care and resilience. It was so full of platitudes and the big advice was to take a pause. About 1/2 way through, someone asked what advice she had for parents who are trying to work with kids at home. The speaker’s response was: “Wow. Yeah. That’s tough.” And then moved on to the next question. It felt so representative of the way parents have been treated over this past year. I tuned her out for the rest of her presentation.
anne-on says
It’s like companies think that the younger workers don’t see/realize how parents have been treated during this timeframe OR that parents won’t remember which and how companies did or did not support them. The pandemic is coming to a close, people will be looking for jobs, and there will be reputational/word of mouth damage to those companies that tried to treat employees like automatons.
There was a similar backlash after the financial crisis, and I for SURE saw a big change in what employees asked for/demanded once they had leverage again and fully expect it to happen here.
Anonymous says
I’m not sure that younger or childless workers are sympathetic towards parents. IME they are always resentful of parents and performance/availability expectations for parents are higher than those for childless workers, pandemic or not.
Anon says
+1 everyone I work with is not a parent and their attitude is “you shouldn’t have had kids if you didn’t want to take care of them.” I saw this attitude a lot on the main page too early in the pandemic (and then I stopped reading there). As if parents chose to have kids knowing they wouldn’t have childcare or play dates or activities or grandparent help or so on…. but that’s something people are quick to say whenever parents talk about hardships.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I think having children forces people (those who didn’t believe this before) to reckon with the idea that American individualism isn’t the answer to everything. Like you really do need a community to raise children and it’s better for everyone involved, and children are in fact necessary for the future! It’s not just my little side hobby that I chose to do and can do all by myself. These are human beings who need a lot of care and attention while they grow up so that they can grow up to be productive members of society.
Anonymous says
I think the pandemic opened the eyes of some rich parents who hadn’t previously come to that realization. When they literally couldn’t find nannies to hire and their cleaning services refused to come, they got just a tiny glimpse of what life is like for ordinary parents.
Anon says
“Ordinary” parents don’t work full-time without childcare though. They either stay home with their children (either by choice or because they can’t afford childcare) or they send their kids to daycare just like I do. Working a full-time job without any paid childcare was not normal for anyone before the pandemic. I get that in general the pandemic took away some luxuries like cleaning services that rich people have grown accustomed to, but acting like all “we” (I say we because I’m objectively privileged, though definitely not rich by the standards of this s*te) had to do to get through the pandemic was do what normal people do every day is fallacious.
Anonymous says
I’m not saying that ordinary parents work full time without child care in normal times. What I’m saying is that parenthood itself isn’t enough to make rich people realize the need for systemic solutions, because they can usually just buy their way out of problems. The pandemic made “just throw money at the problem” much less of an option.
Of course not-rich people can send their kids to day care in ordinary times instead of being trapped at home with their kids while working full time, but for not-rich people day care is enough of an expensive hassle to make them realize that the system is broken even without a pandemic.
Anonymous says
What did you expect her to say, though? There are no self-care or bootstrap solutions that will fix the problem. The real solutions are beyond the scope of a self-care seminar.
The real problem is that there was a self-care session at all. Self-care is a crock. Meditation and bubble baths can’t fix the structural problems with our society, like the lack of subsidized high-quality child care.
So Anon says
Yes, I think that was my exact frustration. It felt like it was trying to say that if you are stressed/burnt out from this past year-18 months, that it is entirely in your hands to fix. Um, no. No pause, meditation, or walk in nature is going to change or remedy what occurred and the abject exhaustion that parents feel. It was paying lip service to a real problem, without naming the problem. Pay no attention to moms behind the curtain making things keep going and yet ready to utterly collapse.
Jeffiner says
This. I’m still annoyed that last spring, when everything was shutting down and we were scrambling, someone on the main page said, “Well, you should have thought about child care before you had kids.” This is not an individual problem to solve, its a societal problem.
Anonymous says
What made me so mad about those statements is that I did think about child care before I had kids! I signed up for day care.
Anon says
Yeah, seriously. I had up to 50 hours a week of daycare, plus weekend activities, friends to see and grandparents to visit or fly in for visits. Nobody signed up to parent alone with no one but their spouse and no daycare or nanny.
GCA says
This.
anne-on says
This. We had a live in au pair and before that full time day care. What, was I supposed to plan for a global pandemic which made family care from at risk grandparents unavailable PLUS a lunatic president shutting down the J1-visa program to not allow us to find a new au pair? Sure, no problem…
Anon says
Infuriating!
My employer has a newsletter and did a feature on a couple who both work here gushing about how grateful they are to our employer for treating parents so well during the pandemic. The dad mentioned taking care of the kids all day and working all night and how they are so thankful our employer allows them to do that. As though letting your employees work ALL NIGHT is a kindness to them! I may or may not have used the phrase “North Korea-style propaganda” when discussing the article with people.
CPA Lady says
HAHA. That’s hilarious(ly enraging). Reminds me of the time HR tried to convince me that they had a generous maternity leave policy when their policy was “take all your paid vacation days for the year during maternity leave, and once you’ve used that up you’re on unpaid leave.” After working 65-80 hours a week and half the weekends out of the year, the answer was to never take a vacation day so I could hoard up my days so I didn’t have to have a fully unpaid maternity leave?? Wow. So generous. I was literally speechless.
Anonymous says
Honest question – what more did you want the employer to do? Offer months of paid leave? Allowing total flex time is a huge benefit and what kept many parents still in the workforce. Other employers wouldn’t allow it and those people lost their jobs.
I would have liked to see our government pay everyone to stay home and pay essential workers who couldn’t stay home double or something like that. That’s on our government though, not employers.
Anon says
Allowing people to take the paid CARES Act leave mandated by the government would have been a decent start – I tried but was strongly discouraged from it. Since it was my legal right I could have taken it if I insisted, but it was made pretty clear to me that doing so would negatively impact my career and I might not even be allowed back afterwards. Short of paid leave, offering people unpaid leave or the option to work reduced hours at reduced pay would have been nice. I think there are a lot of people who could have done with a lower or even no salary this year but didn’t want to quit their job and risk walking away from the workforce entirely. And honestly I think a good employer would not expect even full-time employees to put in a strict 40 hours, especially during the total lockdown in the spring and early summer when the government had closed daycares. It was obviously a very temporary situation and if you value your employees you can allow them to be less than 100% productive in short term emergency situations like this. I think a lot of why I’m so burned out now is that I worked probably 70 hours a week (if you count both weekday childcare and job work) during the months when daycare was closed because nobody at work gave me any grace at all (and I have a normally very relaxed 40 hr/week job). If I’d been allowed to take leave (paid or unpaid) or work less during those months it would have set me up much better for handling the rest of the pandemic.
Boston Legal Eagle says
“And honestly I think a good employer would not expect even full-time employees to put in a strict 40 hours” – this. I wasn’t always putting in a strict 8 hours every day during last spring/summer, but I still got my work done and met deadlines, and having a team that acknowledges this goes a long way to retaining good employees.
Bad names says
Please tell me I am not a bad person for judging my friend for the name she chose for her son. I understand wanting to be unique but Knixon is just misspelling and “huh?” waiting to happen.
What are names that made you go “huh”?
anon says
A good 25% of the names in my twin FB group are horrible when paired together, if fine when used alone. Floyd and Lloyd, Emily and Emma, Ava and Avery, Molly and Milly, Layla and Laila at the few I can remember off the top of my head.
Anon says
Oh yes, my twin group names are just next-level. My current fave is Kylo and Ben
Anonymous says
Now there’s a way to pigeonhole your children. Dark side and light side?
Anon says
Right there with you. I can’t stand deliberate misspellings like that. And regardless of the inappropriate K, Nixon is a terrible name for a child because of the association with the former president.
Anonymous says
If he has a normal middle name, I bet he ends up going by K. Middle Last as soon as he’s old enough to figure it out.
Anon says
You’re not a bad person for judging, we all do that.
But I don’t think misspelling and huh is really a big deal. I grew up in the Kristen/ Kristin/ Christen/ Ashley/ Ashlee/ Ashleigh era and everyone figured it out. My kid in Kindergarten has a Knox and a Jaxon in his class (and two Masons and a Maxim) so I feel like Knixon fits right in.
Anon says
Kristen/Kristin and Ashley/Ashleigh is not like Knixon! That’s more of a spelling that varies across different languages or countries like Sophia vs Sofia or something like that. Even Knox and Jaxon are real names, albeit ones that weren’t trendy until recently and are now super trendy. Knixon is literally made up – if you google it you just get results for Kelly Nixon and Kyle Nixon and other K___ Nixon people!
Anon says
I mean, now you think they’re not like Knixon. But I promise you, at the time, lots of parents were appalled at the “made up nature” of names like Ashleigh and Kourtney and Mickayleh.
Anonymous says
I’m still appalled by them. Politics aside, when Kayleigh McEnany became WH press secretary, my first thought was “omg, people actually took someone with a name spelled like that seriously?” and my next thought was, “omg, people who have names spelled like that are now old enough to be press secretary?”
Anonymous says
Imagine bragging about not taking people seriously on the basis of their name
Anonymous says
oops, I missed the part where I was bragging. This is literally a thread about being judgy when we know we shouldn’t.
Jeffiner says
My name is actually Jeffiner. I hate it. I have always hated it. I hate the way it sounds, and the way people ask me to explain it or pronounce it or spell it. I have told my father that this is all his fault. His excuse is he wanted me to be unique. Thanks dad, I can do that with my personality, not a stupid name.
I do not think I was teased as a child because of my name, any more than any of my other classmates. Kids pick anything they want to focus on for teasing, and its never what parents expect.
Anon says
ok this is awful of me to say, but i truly thought this was just your name for this blog and not your name in real life and i can totally see this on one of those lists of poorly thought of names
Hmmm says
That is awful to say. And unnecessary.
Anon says
Jeffiner says she hates her name so I don’t think it’s awful or unnecessary to agree. It seems like more of an “oof yeah that’s really bad, I sympathize with you” which was my take too.
Hmmm says
I think it’s like when someone says something negative about their own family or hair.
Jeffiner says
Thanks :)
Jeffiner says
(The Thanks was to Anon at 12:13)
Anon says
I’m a ubiquitous Jennifer, who has an older brother Jeffrey. He always called me Jeffiner, because he thought it was funny. (I didn’t.) He also called me Johnifer, which I haven’t really thought about in a long time. (Also not funny. But I mean, he doesn’t call me either of those any more!)
Anyway, I read your name and related… but always thought it was a handle.
Anonymous says
Honestly this might make me reconsider the friendship! I need to evolve but that is awful. Unless its a phamily name. Also, Nixon would be pretty bad too – who wants to be named Nixon given the baggage that name has in this country?!
Anonymous says
Oh dear, that’s terrible. Just wow.
Related, could someone also explain to me the thinking behind feminizing a name that’s appealing largely BECAUSE it’s gender neutral?? Thinking of a friend who just had an “Elliotte”… I don’t get it.
Anon says
I wouldn’t choose it because I have an unusual name and hated it so I wanted to give my kids really common names, but I kind of get it? I don’t think Elliot is gender neutral at all so if you really want the name for a girl adding the extra letters kind of makes sense to me. Maybe it’s partly because it’s the male name chosen by Elliot Page (the actor formerly known as Ellen Page) but it feels decidedly masculine to me with the normal spelling.
Anonymous says
The first and only time I’ve encountered (and using that very loosely) a female Elliot was on the TV show Scrubs, and it was even a plot point in at least one episode that she had a “boy name.”
Anonymous says
The trend of ‘Charlie’ as a girls name. Just no. It’s so over done that it’s not even unique anymore, not cute and as a geriatric millennial, Charlie Sheen was basically the only ‘Charlie’ I knew. Don’t name your kid, especially your daughter, after him.
Anon says
Aww I think that’s so cute although I like it more as a nickname for Charlotte than a regular name. I’m not a fan of cutsie names without a more formal sounding name the child can use as an adult. I’m also a geriatric millennial (lol) but I would have thought Charlie Chaplin before Sheen.
Spirograph says
All of this, right down to geriatric millennial and Charlie Chaplin. :) I proposed Charlotte as a name for my daughter with full intention of calling her Charlie, but my husband vetoed it.
What’s overdone for me is Aiden and everything that rhymes with it. Jayden, Cayden, Brayden, Clayden, Hayden.
Anonymous says
I actually like Hayden for a girl. If we weren’t one and done, my second girl would be Hayden, with my mom’s first name as her middle name. I don’t like it for a boy because of the association with Hayden Christiansen and the awful Star Wars prequels.
Anon says
Hayden makes me think of “Lorelai Planetarium” on Gilmore Girls.
anon says
This has become really common. Girl names I’ve heard recently are Austin and Windsor. I think these names are super cute, but it is interesting that they are for girls.
Anon says
I knew a girl Austin (or maybe Austen? I don’t remember) who’s late 30s so I don’t think it’s brand new to call girls that. I kind of like Austin for a girl! I don’t like Windsor for anyone, it just seems like a last name to me because of the British Royal Family.
Ouch! says
Hey now, there are plenty of other Charlie’s! Named my son after his grand-grandpa Charlie. I do prefer it for boys over girls, personally, but I think it’s cute as a nickname for Charlotte.
Ouch! says
*great-grandpa.
anon says
I don’t want to out my family member, so I’ll just say that she named her son Aidan but substituted y for the existing vowels in multiple places.
Anon says
Oh dear. I was like “aw, Aidan’s not that bad!” (although I think of a lot of people probably have the SATC association) and then I read the last clause.
Anonymous says
There was an amazing article with the most “huh?” baby names that I found when I was pregnant. As a joke, DH and I started referring to in-utero baby by one of them…and it stuck. He has a real name, but we kept calling him Blayde, and then Blaydey as a diminutive to the point that he probably thought it was his name until he was about 2.
Anon says
The worst I’ve heard lately is Emrickson (for a boy)
Anonymous says
That is horrible, but I’ll raise you “Remington” for a girl.
Anon says
I think Emrickson is worse. I actually don’t hate Remington for a girl. You could call her Remy which isn’t horrible. I know a girl named Remy although I think that’s her whole name and it’s not a nickname.
anonn says
my SIL’s last name is Emrick and she has 2 sons. neither are named this, but it made me laugh. I also get annoyed by Emerson/Hudson/etc for a girl. it literally says “son” in the name… I can’t judge to hard, my kids names are non traditional too.
Anonymous says
I mean, my name is Alison…
Anon says
I know a little Jaxton and though it was a bit creative, though honestly it doesn’t seem that unusual anymore.
Anon says
The one time I’ve told somebody, “No. You can’t name your baby that.” was a former coworker (recession job, in a call center.)
“I really like the name “Elias”, but I want to spell it starting with an A instead.
Me: Uh, you’re going to name your kid Alias? No. Please no.
…then I had to explain to her what “Alias” meant. And thank God, she named him a different misspelled biblical name.
Anonymous says
You did this person a service. :)
Anon at 12:04 says
I’m very much a ‘good for you, not for me’ kind of a person… but I just had this flash of all the confusion that would happen if the Alias was literally: Alias.
(I have enough issues with the fact that some forms I use for work ask ‘is the child MIA?’ and if we have a child literally named Mia… there’s a lot of really confused parents who have accidentally reported that their child has gone missing when in fact their name was just Mia…)
Anonymous says
On the other hand, depending on the last name, having your name be Alias __ could kind of cool. Like what if their last name is Bond??
Anonymous says
Omg this is too funny.
Aunt Jamesina says
I’ve come across a number of names I certainly wouldn’t like for my own children, but I find these conversations can quickly turn classist and xenophobic and/or racist. The reality is that parents in the US have a lot more latitude these days to choose uncommon names and spellings than they used to, and I doubt most names will actually hinder these kids once they grow up. I have a few friends with very uncommon names that others probably see as “unprofessional” that have been very successful. I also find that once I know a [Knixon/Grayleigh/Whatever] IRL that I might think “huh” the first time I hear their name and then it’s just really NBD.
Anon says
This.
Anon says
Kahlen
name says
Everick (I’m not sure that’s how they spelled it). Dad’s name is Eric.
Anonymous says
My SIL taught a student named $hithead. Pronounced “$hi-THEED.”
Aunt Jamesina says
No, she didn’t. This is a really old urban legend.
Anon says
+1 Isn’t this discussed in Freakonomics when they talk about names? It’s definitely a long-standing joke/urban legend.
Anonymous says
Well, then SIL must have been lying.
Aunt Jamesina says
A lot of people hear stories like this from someone else they trust, then pass it on as being a firsthand experience to embellish and make the story more interesting or credible. It’s human nature. I remember hearing the exact same story for the first time around 2002 from someone who swore her mother had this child in her class (along with Lemonjello and Yellowjello).
http://www.namenerds.com/uucn/advice/urbanlegends.html
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/funny-names/
Anonymous says
My dad, who is a fairly unrepentant racist, tells the stories of patients he treated named $hithead, lemonjello, oranjello, and his favorite, Le-a, pronounced “Ledasha. The dash don’t be silent.” 2002 sounds about right.
Anonymous says
If she is telling the truth, my guess is that the student isn’t white, and in their non-English native language it is not profane.
Anonymous says
I don’t think there’s any non-English language where $hithead is a normal name. Those are English words.
Anonymous says
But it’s not $hit-head. It’s Shi-thead.
Anonymous says
yes to 3:34. semi-related, the girl in my Arabic class in college whose last name was Sharmouta was none too pleased when we learned that is the word for b*tch.
Aunt Jamesina says
Nah, it’s a racist urban legend. Let’s not give this story any more legs.
Anon says
Would love some help with an infant sleep issue. Our 4 month old goes to bed without any trouble around 7:30 or 8, and will sleep pretty decent stretches–until ~4 am, when everything falls apart. Sometimes it’s a bit of congestion, sometimes it’s gas, sometimes I have no idea what’s going on. But after she eats around 4am she is fussy and wakeful, and it’s absolutely killing my ability to get rest. I need those last hours until 6:30!! Right now I spend ~2 hours rocking her, putting her down, repeat, or hubby does the same. What else can we do??
Anonymous says
Either go to bed at 8:00 yourself, or put her down at 10:00.
OP says
It was a torturous process to move baby #1’s bedtime from 10pm to an earlier time, so we have been trying to avoid that. But in retrospect he did sleep until 7am with no trouble! Gah
Anonymous says
If he was sleeping until 7:00, why would you need to move his bedtime earlier?
Anon says
Yeah I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want a 10-7 schedule in this scenario. You’re borrowing trouble by worrying about hypothetical future problems involved with trying to shift bedtime earlier.
Anonymous says
Does she have a third nap? If so, try eliminating it – its possible she’s getting enough sleep, just too much during the day. Also, is she hungry at 4 am – are you feeding her at all at night? You could try adding a dream feed. Or feed her at 4 and put her down awake and see if she goes back to sleep (if she’s willing; my son was freakish this way). Honestly it sounds like she is a sleep champ for a 4 month old, but I know those early mornings are killer.
Anon says
I’d try putting her down later. It’s normal for kids to only sleep 8 hours straight at that age. My daughter had a 10 pm bed time at that age, because we wanted her 8-9 hour stretch to align with a normal adult night. Some people swear babies need early bedtimes but I’ve never really understood that – they can’t read clocks, so bedtime is only defined in relation to the end of the last nap. There are ways you can get them a cat nap in the late afternoon or early evening if you need to, but you may also find that having a longer interval between the last nap and bedtime leads to better sleep (that was the case for us – the interval between nap #2 and night always had to be much longer than the intervals between wake and nap #1 and between nap #1 and nap #2).
Anonymous says
This.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We did a dream feed for my second kid starting at around that age or maybe 5 months, at 10pm or so, which got him to sleep in until a more reasonable hour. We just moved him out of the pack n play, fed and put him back (so no diaper changes or other stimulations that would wake him). Agree that you can also try a later bedtime.
Anonymous says
+1. I did the same thing at 4 months, phasing the 10 pm dream feed out between 5-6 months…which worked perfectly until the 8 month sleep regression, lol.
Anon says
You could try making sure she’s not too hot or cold, diaper isn’t too tight, and legs have plenty of room in sleep sack to kick around and work out that gas. Mine did this same thing and pediatrician said it was developmentally appropriate for a 4 month old to wake to eat at that time and gas/fussiness was common result of that feeding. Our pedi told us that at that age, there’s little to be done to avoid it. Pedi said that at 6mon + (for a baby with no other health concerns and on track with growth chart) then we could expect her to not actually be hungry and just waking for soothing and to primarily focus on developing good sleep habits at that point. It’s hard. You will get through it and feel rested again, I promise.
Anonymous says
Add in a dream feed at 10pm right before you or DH goes to bed (I used to go to bed early and have DH do this). Or co-sleep from 4-6:30. I did both with my DD, DS was just a better sleeper from the start.
sleep says
We just hired a sleep coach last week for our 4 month old. there is lots of CIO, but after a day and night he was already so much better. we do 1.5 hour wake windows, and 3 -1.5 naps with a shorter cat nap around 5, 3 hours between feeds, 7pm-7am night sleep, and a dream feed between 9:30-10. I’ve had to feed him around 4am a few times, but he fell right back asleep and he’s not even 13lbs yet. Previously we were having your struggles and laying him down later for bed.
Cc says
Does anyone want to help me with light hearted shopping ? I am looking for the actual bag to bring with me to the hospital for my overnight stay (for labor – first baby). I would like to keep the price point low (under 100) but want it to be the right bag.
I will also take suggestions on what to bring ! The lists on the internet are all over the place
Anonymous says
I just used my ordinary rolling carry-on.
If you really want to buy a new bag, I like the Lo and Sons Catalina Deluxe. The small size fits under an airplane seat. I would go for the poly for water and stain resistance. If you wait long enough they’ll have a 40% off promo code.
Anon says
I’m not sure what you mean about the “right bag” – you don’t need any special kind of bag for this. A small suitcase or weekender type bag or even a large tote will work fine. If you want to treat yourself to a new purse, go for it, but don’t feel you need to purchase something for this occasion.
For me the essentials were phone, camera, associated chargers, toiletries and outfits for me and baby (a cute one for baby, just maternity pants, tank and sweatshirt for me). It wasn’t much and it fit in a tote bag. I’ve heard to bring food because the cafeteria may not be open, but we had grandparnets visit and bring us takeout so we didn’t need it. If you can’t have visitors because of Covid, definitely bring food to eat right after you give birth. My friend packed (homemade!) snacks for her husband while she was laboring but she’s a better person than me – there was no way I was letting him eat in front of me while I was hungry and trying to push out his kid. The hospital gave me everything I needed for postpartum recovery and newborn care. I wish I’d brought a book, honestly. I was induced and got my epidural fairly early so for most of my labor I wasn’t in any real pain and didn’t have to do anything but was too excited and nervous to sleep.
Cc says
Thanks this is really helpful! By right bag I just mean if I find one I love that’s 150 than I would spend that. I don’t have a weekender or an actual big purse, so I was looking for that type, but to be honest the rolling carry on didn’t occur to me! We most likely will not get to have visitors so the food is a really good idea
Anonymous says
We brought rolling carryon suitcase for DH and I clothes/toiletry ( I wear nursing nightgowns at hospital except for actual delivery), diaper bag for baby’s stuff, and a substantial sized soft cooler for snacks and drinks. I like having NICE toiletries to make me feel human and less gross, and real clothes. Our lactation consultants even came in and said “oooh you guys smell good usually these rooms don’t smell so nice.”
Even if the hospital food is ok, DH and I like to snack. Also seltzer water and coconut water. I didn’t eat much hospital food for DD because we were in a good neighborhood with awesome food options. DH ran out to Whole Foods for huge burgers after DD was born. DS was at a suburban hospital but we still did Starbucks for breakfast and my mom brought doughnuts from home.
Cc says
Unfortunately I don’t think we are allowed to leave the room but I am hoping that eases up a bit in the next month! I hadn’t really thought of food I am glad I asked
Katala says
I would ask your hospital if you can order food to be delivered! Ours has a table in the little foyer area that is technically still inside the hospital where drivers leave the meal and you can pick it up without “leaving.” Of course, ours is also easing up a lot of restrictions but I got the impression that table had been there for a while. This does not eliminate the need for snacks. I have never in my life been as hungry as post-delivery.
Anon says
I used my Deuter hiking backpack, which is also now my diaper bag. You can also just bring a suitcase for you and your partner – one bag instead of a couple small ones and then you won’t fee bad about overpacking and you can fit bulky things (like a regular or nursing pillow). The next time in the hospital I’m going to pack more food – people claimed that the food at the hospital was good but it was revolting.
Anon says
I wouldn’t say revolting but it’s definitely not good. There are people who think hospital food is good???
Anon says
A couple people told me actually it was good! Supposedly the hospital had recently revamped the menu and had “chef created options.” Not falling for that one again.
Anonanonanon says
I love the pancakes.
Mary Moo Cow says
I had such good food with my second baby that I was actually looking forward to it when I had to go in for unexpected surgery. It could also have been that I never allow myself to eat a whole club sandwich, full fat chips, and a chocolate chip cookie for lunch, so it seemed tastier than it actually was. Also, Sunday lunch was fried chicken, mac and cheese, greens, and pie. I’m still chuckling over that.
Anonymous says
My problem with the hospital food was that there wasn’t any when I needed it! I delivered my baby in the evening and couldn’t get anything to eat until breakfast the next morning except one lousy packet of crackers. I couldn’t send my husband out for takeout because he was a wreck and nothing was open anyway.
Anon says
Oh man, my husband ended up going to the gas station to get us hoagies at 1 AM. Next time I’ll pack some microwaveable meals or something.
Anonymous says
I had this problem as well, plus with COVID we couldn’t leave the room. Plus the hospital had strict calorie restrictions for everyone, including people who haven’t had anything to eat for 24+ hours while in labor. I ate my one sad granola bar and then I had to wait. BRING SNACKS.
Anon says
Calorie restrictions for new mothers!?! I would have killed someone.
Anonymous says
Yup, I could basically order 1800 calories’ worth of food per meal. That’s it. Not that the nurses actually let me stop attempting to BF long enough to feed myself, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. The only bright spot is that my baby was born with like 15 min to spare before the hospital cafeteria stopped taking orders before it closed (with COVID, we couldn’t leave the room, either). I was thisclose to leaving the hospital AMA.
Aunt Jamesina says
WTF? This hospital needs to be dragged to a news outlet. That’s terrible!
Anonymous says
1800 calories per meal doesn’t seem that restrictive, even if you are BFing. That’s 5,400 calories a day, or more than twice what you’d need to support BFing. But I do agree that nursing moms who haven’t eaten in 24 hours should get to eat whatever they want, whenever they want it.
Anonymous says
Yeah, given that they have calorie restrictions, 1800 per meal is pretty reasonable. I was thinking around 2000 per day or something like that. Even some meals at the Cheesecake Factory with their famously large portions don’t hit 1,800 calories. But I agree there should be an exception for women who’ve just given birth. It’s a huge physical feat.
Anon Lawyer says
Well, and plus, hospital food isn’t that good and at least for me, what I could/couldn’t eat was erratic at first. Like the rubber chicken you sent over makes me feel sick and you’re not going to let me have anything else?
Anonymous at 2:03 says
Sorry, I mis-typed. It was 1800 calories/day. Not per meal. So definitely not enough.
Anonymous at 2:03 says
And like I said, even if it was 1800 calories/meal, I wasn’t eating any of it anyway.
Anonymous says
Yikes how is 1800 calories a day medically sound for a nursing mother who just gave birth?! I just googled it and according to WebMD a sedentary woman in her 20s-30s needs 1800 calories a day. But you need 500 extra calories for breastfeeding. So they routinely short moms 500 calories a day! And that’s before you account for the fact that you probably skipped several meals during labor/delivery. I really hope this isn’t common practice in other hospitals. It is making me very angry!
Anonymous says
Oh wow, 1800 a day is crazy! I think most men and many women need more than that. And it’s not like it’s a weight loss spa or something, most people who are going into the hospital don’t need to be losing weight in the short term.
AnonATL says
My husband and I both took our standard travel backpacks (Gregory 40L). I packed 1 nb and 1 0-3m outfit for coming home for baby and maybe a couple other things we didn’t use. He stayed in the hospital shirt and swaddle the whole time. My room was freezing, so I was very happy to have the sweatpants I packed. My postpartum night sweats didn’t hit till week 2. Then it was a few slouchy v neck tshirts that I could pull up to attempt to nurse.. Definitely bring some lotion, extra chapstick, and long phone cables. The towels are a bit scratchy and small, but the towel I brought from home made little difference. The pillows were terrible, but that wasn’t what kept me from sleeping anyway.
Husband brought a couple changes of clothes. We both brought basic toiletries. I packed a gallon bag of fruit strips, crackers, granola bars, and other shelf stable snacks. I also brought one of those Mio drink mixers to add to my water.
I ate hospital food every meal while we were there and it was fine. Husband was allowed to go out for his own food and typically brought me a little something back to offset the hospital food.
Congrats on your little one!
Patricia Gardiner says
Bring an extension cord so you can plug your phone in and still have it near you – the hospital outlets may be inconvenient.
A nursing pillow (boppy or similar) is really helpful for positioning.
Earplugs and a sleeping mask. Slippers and a robe are nice to have too!
We didn’t have any trouble getting food – our labor floor had a stash of meals in case the kitchen was closed. Also I learned that although I couldn’t have solid food during labor, I could have broths and sorbets, which helped a lot (I had a long induction).
I used the L&S Catalina recommended above and love it!
Good luck!
Birdling says
I really love my Birdling bag, which comes in a weekender or overnighter size. I got the bigger one–it can get pretty heavy, but I do tend to use all the space: https://birdling.com/collections/all
Anon says
I delivered our first daughter in October 2020. Covid worsened while we were in the hospital, so my husband was not allowed to leave the hospital but could go to the cafeteria (day of labor), was not allowed to leave the maternity ward but could go get beverages/snacks on the ward (day following the birth), and then was confined to our room for the rest of our stay. I had an uncomplicated, unmedicated birth, but then had a post-delivery hemorrhage and ended up needing a blood transfusion 2 days after delivery, which is why we ended up staying 3 nights. So I’m glad we packed a lot.
I brought:
– toiletries
– nursing nightgowns
– nursing bras
– fluffy socks
– rubber sandals that I could wear around the room and in the shower
– phones/ipad/extra long chargers
– huge water bottles with straws (for labor – one with water, one with electrolytes – and for after)
– a HUGE bag of food. We knew that my husband would not be able to leave the hospital and that we couldn’t have visitors or order delivery, so we packed hiking-style snacks to last about a week, just in case. Dried fruit, nuts, granola bars, jerky, etc. Also lots of electrolyte tabs. And a big bag of homemade lactation cookies because I was feeling extra :)
– vitamins
– blanket for me and for husband, nursing pillow for me
– eye masks for sleeping
– car seat, going home outfits in newborn and 0-3 sizes, blankets
– empty plastic file envelope for all the papers you’re going to get!
Anonymous says
This is a great list – thank you!
CCLA says
I would just take a backpack or a carryon suitcase – if you don’t have something along those lines, another vote for the lo and sons catalina. First kid I brought like 4 bags…couple of pillows, toiletries, pump, changes of clothes, just way too much stuff. Second kid I think we brought one backpack that had change of clothes for each of us (2 footed sleepers for baby), velcro swaddle, pack of wipes b/c the hospital only had those weird gauze things, XL charging cable, lotion, chapstick, face wipes, deck of cards, a speaker to listen to music, and depends (I liked them way more than the hospital mesh ones). Oh and we brought formula which turned out to be unnecessary because they had it there. Call ahead and figure out what they provide; I was fine to use their cheap toothpaste and toothbrush for a night and so happy to not have a zillion things with us. I’d also bring a pumping bra – with my first kid, I ended up having to pump at the hospital and was not happy to have to hold the horns while in this super emotional state and frustrated that baby wasn’t latching. Pumping bra would have made a big difference. Very exciting time, congrats!
Anonymous says
How exciting! I’d add some stuff for your partner – tylenol and a pillow. My husband had a bad headache when I was in labor and the nurses couldn’t give him anything because he wasn’t a patient. I mean, it’s not labor but it would have been nice if he could just have taken an OTC medicine and gotten back to peeling grapes for me :)
anonamama says
If you don’t have one, an XL LL Bean tote is a good addition to family travel supplies. Use packing cubes for your stuff, baby’s and partner’s (if sharing bag). Velcro swaddle – Nurses are swaddling ninjas, but this is helpful if you and partner need to do it. Mini white noise machine – night 2 they won’t sleep as much. Fancy travel size toiletries and flip flops- nice to have for your shower. Also, pack your baby bag too so it’s ready for your first doc appt. (Xtra outfit w minimal snaps, diapers, wipes, paci). good luck!
anonamama says
Nesting fail but this was intended for baby bag discussion. +1 to the towels from home!
Anon says
Kat, there are video ads that are auto-playing with sound all the time now. I first started noticing it a couple weeks ago. Can you block these ads?
CPA Lady says
I recently learned that you can right click the tab if you’re on chrome and click “mute site” and it’ll keep the sound from playing.
Anonymous says
I have done this and the ads still breakthrough.
Anon says
I’m unable to mute the tab on this s1te on my work computer. Not sure why. I do it with other pages.
FVNC says
I have the same issues, and I can’t even click on “report this ad” anymore. A few weeks ago I reported a number of them, but now I’m not able to even do that.
Katala says
Yes. I have reported so many (and the same ones multiple times), but the same ones keep playing and now the Report this ad link doesn’t even work.
Pogo says
YES it’s super annoying. I don’t mind ads, but they seem to randomly turn on and they’re really loud.
So Anon says
Any recommendations for wearable mosquito repellant things? Has anyone had luck with the bracelets or stickers that are being advertised? I’m taking the kids camping and looking for multiple lines of bug defense.
Anon says
I know some others are in the same boat with feeling totally burned out with full-time WFH, so I just thought I would share how much getting an office space outside my home has helped both my mental health and my work productivity. I’m not entirely sure why, because I worked from home quite a bit before the pandemic, but something about having no office and WFH full-time really just destroyed me. I felt like I was always both at the office and at home and doing a terrible job at both working and self-care. It was also way too easy to distract myself with laundry or cooking or even climb into bed for a mid-day nap and removing that temptation has been really good for my insomnia and my waistline.
I generally put in ~7 focused hours at my “office” and then have an hour to myself at home to unwind (really unwind, like with a book or TV) before I do daycare pickup, and I’m both much happier and much more productive than I was with 8+ unfocused hours of work from home. If I get a lot of work done I give myself permission to knock off even earlier and if I waste too much time while working, I force myself to stay at the “office” later so it really gives me an incentive to focus when I’m there and then I feel no guilt about fully relaxing when I’m home. I also wear nicer clothes when I’m working and only wear leggings/sweats/old t-shirts at home.
Anyway, I know it’s not an option for everyone, but something to consider if you think you could swing it! The last month has been so much better for me and while I’m sure vaccines and summer weather are contributing, I really think having a dedicated office space outside my home is the main reason why I’m feeling so much better.
Anon says
I’m curious – where is this “office” that you have? Did you rent it nearby?
Anon says
My parents recently rented an apartment right near me and they’re not here most of the time so I use their place. I know I’m fortunate because it doesn’t cost me very much (I contribute to their utility bills, but that’s it). But now that I know how much value I get from it, I would try to rent my own space if for some reason they decided not to continue leasing their place.