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As if Lego pieces couldn’t get any smaller, here comes Lego Dots! I recommend these for people who have kids who are older and organized — with no little kids around who would make these a tasty meal. If I were a 7- or 8-year-old girl right now, these would be one of my favorite things to make, wear, and give to my best friends. Lego Dots also has a photo frame version that looks cute and fun, and since it is Lego, you can build and change as much as you want. The pictured kit is $24.99 at Target. Lego Bracelet-Making Kit
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
CPA Lady says
Assuming school will happen this fall… what backpack do I want for my kindergartener? And what lunchbox?
Back in the Days of Yore, I remember there were a ton of l l bean backpacks. Do kids still use those? What about pottery barn? Anything else I should be thinking of?
Mathy says
My son loves his PBKids backpack, a large Mackenzie with planets (he’s very tall for his age and size is perfect). He saw it once in a store and chose that over less-appealing colors/designs available at LL Bean and Lands’ End. I would have preferred something from those companies due to quality reputation, but the PBKids bag has held up fine this year.
He also has a Mackenzie lunchbox. I believe all of their lunch boxes now have a hard interior, which is a bummer — I used to throw his old lunchbox straight in the wash but now feel like I can only sponge clean. I use the Rubbermaid Lunchblox sandwich containers and silicone muffin liners inside to create mini bento-box-type lunches.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
LL Bean is the choice at my kids’ bus stop. My oldest has LL Bean and it’s been good. Younger has one from REI that’s been great too.
Anonymous says
We got one from Land’s End because it was cheaper and it has been fine.
Lyssa says
We just got one of the standard character ones from Target, and it was fine. He needs a replacement for next year, but he got two years of use out of it easily, so I think that’s reasonable. And he was thrilled to get to pick characters he likes (The Incredibles).
Pogo says
+1 My parents got him a Thomas the Tank Engine backpack and he loves it. I would have preferred to invest in a nice LL Bean or Land’s End one, but he doesn’t really need it yet.
Mrs. Jones says
Land’s End
Emily S. says
15 years later, I wish I had my college LL Bean backpack that lasted 4 years and still had life in it.
We have both a PBK and LL Bean backpack and are planning to keep the LL Bean backpack for Kindergarten this fall. I bought a PlanetBox Rover and DD is very excited about it. Given possible restrictions on hot lunch, I bought an extra set of silverware, napkin, and dippers to go with the box.
Anon says
I’ve been debating if I buy backpacks for my twins to start public preK this fall (their daycare ones are too small, since they don’t hold a folder) or wait until we know if school is actually happening. I don’t want to get into the problem of not being able to find any in August, but if we’re not going to need them for another year it seems silly to buy them now.
Anonymous says
They often go on sale later in the summer – I am 100% sure you will be able to find something suitable for PreK.
Anon says
Good to know, thanks!
FVNC says
Our daughter had a Target backpack for K and 1st that’s in surprisingly good shape.
Io says
Wait until you get a list from your kids school. Our school requires a much larger backpack than I would ever buy my kid.
Anon says
My kindergarten-sized preschooler uses LL bean, they seem pretty popular at the bus stop.
DLC says
I would choose LL Bean over Lands End- I’ve had both and found the quality of L.L. Bean much better, and the layout worked better for my kids. Also- I found that we needed a bigger backpack in second grade, so if you want to splurge, maybe save it for then. Another a tip an elementary school teacher shared with me: if your kid insists on getting one of those named character/ glittery cheap backpacks from Target, make sure to buy two because it will fall apart half way through the school year.
Katarina says
We have bought cheap ones from Target and Walmart. They have held up fine and make my kids happy.
anon says
DS is a rising 5th grader and has had the same LLBean pack the whole time. It is getting small for him but we’ll probably make it work for the last year of elementary school, then upgrade for middle school
Boston Legal Eagle says
For those of you whose kids have gone back to daycare and your states imposed maximum class size limits, how have your daycares dealt with this? In MA, I think our preschool classes will be limited to 10 kids, whereas before there were about 20 kids per class, with 2-3 teachers. I have no idea how our daycare will change to this as they can’t suddenly build new classrooms, but perhaps a wall partition would work? Or did fewer kids come back? We’re also going to have to deal with masks on kids over 2, which is another concern, but I know that’s been discussed here before.
Ugh, I just feel so disheartened as this is not the daycare experienced I wanted for my kids, although I know it’s not anyone’s first choice and people are trying to do the best they can for public health.
Anonymous says
Mine is getting more space at different locations, dividing large classrooms, and not expecting everyone back. They’re also insisting my 2.5 year old wear a mask all day and I’ve said I’m not sending him back until that changes.
Anonymous says
In MA the mask thing is a state rule not the center. 2 and over!
Anon says
Thank goodness your kid isn’t doing back! More space for people who can follow rules.
Anon says
Do you really expect a 2.5 year old to keep a mask on? Does yours?
No Face says
Genuine question: why don’t you want your kid to wear a mask? Is there a breathing concern?
Anonymous says
Perhaps she wants him to show the virus he’s not scared.
Anonymous says
Because he is 2.5. He does t understand what’s going on or why he can’t breathe normally and is scared of them and doesn’t get why he can’t see peoples faces. I don’t want him to “show the virus he isn’t scared” but I’m also not sending him back to day care until this changes because it’s not an environment I want him in.
Anonymous says
Well, aren’t you special. Glad you can afford a nanny.
Anonymous says
I don’t understand the hostility. I am keeping him home and getting a nanny. Why does that make you so mad?
Anon says
I don’t think that person has ever met a toddler..
Anon says
My four year old is wearing her mask in NYC. What a couple days of her taking it off and I picked her up and took her home from our walk. Because I’m the parent.
Does your 2.5 year old not wear sunscreen because he hates it? Do you let him go barefoot around dog poop and broken glass? Does he scream when he’s buckled in a car seat? My kid at two hated sunscreen and the car seat and sh wanted to be barefoot always. Guess what? I didn’t let her.
Spirograph says
Oh, please.
1. There is a world of mental, physical, and emotional difference between a 2.5 year old and a 4 year old, let alone between any two individual children, so I don’t think how you handle this with your 4 year old is particularly relevant.
2. Kids can’t take off sunscreen once you put it on them or get out of a car seat once they’re buckled, while almost all masks are easily removable by a 2.5 year old (if not, it’s probably closer to a muzzle, and I suspect that’s frowned upon) so I don’t think this is relevant either
3. Dog poop and broken glass are immediately self-critiquing, unlike inhaling a virus, so I also don’t think this is relevant.
There is nothing wrong with questioning kid masking in daycare. People who think it’s dumb to try to keep masks on a bunch of preschoolers all day (which, by the way is also very different than you 1:1 insisting your child wears a mask) don’t necessarily hate public health, they are just weighing cost benefit differently than you do.
Pogo says
I thought the MA mask thing was “encouraged” not “required”. One of my local moms’ groups has a couple of preschool teachers in it and one of them mentioned how her preschool is not doing masks at all – for kids or teachers. I think teachers is fine, but kids seems impossible to enforce.
Right now our provider is working with her licenser on all the appropriate paperwork. We are lucky in that the ratios/size limits did not change for in-home. I have no idea how centers will handle the new limits.
Pogo says
from the official policy statement: ” EEC strongly
encourages child care programs to enforce the wearing of masks or cloth face coverings during the child
care day when 6 feet of physical distancing is not possible.
To slow the spread of COVID-19, child care staff should be strongly encouraged to wear a cloth face
covering while serving children and interacting with parents and families. Face coverings are strongly
encouraged for children age 3 and older, if tolerated. Providers should set their own policies1 regarding
the use of face coverings by children while in care, including a requirement for parental consent. This
policy is being established to offer guidance to child care programs on the safe and effective use of face
masks for staff and children in child care settings”
Anonymous says
Interesting. What document is this? The ECC guidelines from 6/1 say 2 and over need a mask. Not encouraged; required.
See Page 15- 7.A(2)
https://eeclead.force.com/resource/1591036172000/Min_Req
I hope you have the more accurate citation!!
Pogo says
It’s from the EEC website, “Guidance regarding masks”. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there is conflicting info…
Pogo says
Hm, ok I think the one I found was for the emergency child care currently going on. But regardless Page 15- 7.A(2) says: “When possible and at the discretion of the parent or guardian of the child, programs should encourage the wearing of masks or cloth face coverings for children age 2 and older who can safely and appropriately wear, remove, and handle masks.”
Which to me still sounds like encouraged for kids. I agree teachers should definitely wear them, they’re adults who can understand how to wear a mask and use it properly (which is what 15-7.A(1) sounds like to me). If a kid is young (2-5ish) they’re going to just be touching it and pulling at it and not using it properly anyway, so I’m not sure I see the point.
Would be nice if they actually clarified this.
Pogo says
ugh in mod again because I copied the text – I think what I had copied first was for the emergency child care currently going on, you’re right. But my reading of the June 1 doc you linked still seems to confirm “encouraged” for children but essentially required for adults (they talk about the 6ft separation which like… of course you can’t be >6ft from the children, so I assume providers are masked at all times).
Pogo says
in mod but I posted the exact text from the statement. They say strongly encouraged.
Anonymous says
I just don’t really see the point of kid masks in a daycare. Adults may go in and out of other rooms, so them wearing a mask makes sense to me, but a bunch of kids that are around each other all day every day are sharing airspace and germs, masks or no. Given the limited preventive value, I don’t think it’s worth the kids not being able to read each other’s full facial expressions. It’s not a hill I would die on, but I do think daycare is substantially different than a shopping trip, where I 100% support masks for all.
Current plan for our yet-unopened daycare is that masks are optional for kids over 3, but staff will all be wearing masks.
Anonymous says
“Masks optional” is a deeply inequitable policy. A mask protects others more than it protects the wearer. The kids who wear masks will be harmed by those who don’t wear masks, while the kids not wearing masks will be protected as free riders.
Anonymous says
Yes, I understand that. I just don’t think kids 3-5 year olds can wear masks well enough that it makes THAT much difference in a daycare setting. Unless you’re wearing an N95, it doesn’t block everything coming out of your mouth anyway, so with thousands of exhales in the same room over the course of the day, 5 days per week… what are you accomplishing? If there’s an asymptomatic kid in there, his germs will be on everything even with the mask. Thus, it seems like more bother than it’s worth to me.
Pogo says
That’s kinda my thought too. If they can’t wear it right and are always touching it/pulling at it, is it really doing anything? Even adults are terrible about this (pulling the mask down to scratch their nose and then touching an item in the grocery store for example).
Anon says
Young kids have been shown not to contract or spread COVID as readily as adults. I think we can modify precautions accordingly and forego masks for young ones.
Anonymous says
I would not send my child to a day care that allowed parents to opt out of masks, just as I would not allow my child to attend with unvaccinated children.
Anon says
False equivalence.
Realist says
+1. In an ideal world, masks for toddlers would be better than no masks for toddlers. But in the real world, I don’t see how the masks don’t create more risks than they mitigate. The kids are going to be constantly pulling them off, touching their face around them, etc. They will also need to take off the masks for meals/snacks, so they are going to get peer exposure at those times no matter what. So it is hard for me to see kids younger than 6yo getting much benefit from the masks.
Don't yell at me please says
For what it’s worth, I feel the same way about my toddler wearing a face mask. He can’t be trusted to wear it properly so it is a more-harm-than-good situation. I’m not anti-face-mask and I wear one whenever I’m in public and can’t keep far away–as in 20+ feet, not 6–from others. But I don’t think they’re a good solution for small kids.
blueberries says
I agree, Don’t yell at me please. I’m extremely cautious and very compliant with my area’s strict mask rules. However, the average toddler/preschooler I know doesn’t have the ability to wear a mask correctly all day.
I worry about increased risk from teachers having to spend more time close to a child’s face adjusting a mask.
Anon says
Only a small percentage of kids have returned to my daughter’s daycare so far. I think she has three kids in her age group right now, and there used to be 12. Face masks are only required for adults. Although it was stressful to transition, daycare has been going great and my daughter seems to be loving it. The daycare has gotten more creative with activities, offering a water day, bike day, and a dance fitness class and many other fun activities, which I really appreciate.
Anon in Boston says
We have to respond by today what our intention is, if we intend to return on June 29. DH and I are pretty rational about all of this. Heck, I’m going to a derm appt in person today. But something about sending DD to daycare feels… icky. I think we have to do it – we lose our sitter then because she works for the daycare and we don’t want a nanny for a host of reasons (mostly $$, which while we can objectively ‘afford’ it out of savings, current cash flow is light given my commission-only pay has halted since all this), so we really don’t have any other options.
Doodles says
We had to respond via surveys and a phone call from the director about when we’d like our child to come back. Our state allows 6 kids per room. So our facility has to go from 80 kids to 50. No partitions. They can’t expand into more rooms. The surveys showed more people wanting to return than there were spots. But people also wanted to stagger their return dates. Like keep kids home through summer. So then they did first come, first served to reserve a spot. Had to send in a new contract, stating return date and agreeing to new rules. They raised prices and slightly changed the hours. You had to pay one month up front to reserve a spot but have until October to actually send your kid in. They’re opening end of July even though our state allows opening on June 1. Keeping all teachers so it will be 2 teachers in each room if 6 kids.
Ugh says
I don’t know – We have heard absolutely nothing from our Bright Horizons daycare about reopening. I’ve emailed multiple people and get the same canned response that they are having “discussions” but that’s all they know. It’s so frustrating, especially because every other daycare in our state has been open for weeks.
TheElms says
In DMV our BH center said they would be in a position to share reopening dates on June 19. They have a canned video about the new procedures, but nothing that speaks to our facility’s space situation. For example, the video says only one class on the playground; we don’t have a playground. Drop off in the lobby; we don’t have a lobby. The daycare is in a high rise and there is a parking garage and elevators to contend with. No information about that. Teachers stay with their classes all day; our center is open 11 hours a day, are the teachers now working 11 hours a day? What happens when a teacher needs to use the restroom or otherwise take a break? The level of communication is beyond awful and when you combine that with the price I am seriously unimpressed. If they don’t have information they just need to say that and not send canned videos/communications that couldn’t possibly apply to our specific location.
Ugh says
I agree. The communication from Bright Horizons has been completely terrible.
KatieWolf says
I got tired of waiting to hear from my BH (state has been open since May 1, technically daycares were never ordered to close) – we just switched daycares. Kid started this week, and transition is going great!! So happy we didn’t wait.
Ugh says
I would love to do this but the daycares in my area having long waiting lists. I’m starting to consider paying the registration fee to get on a list simply because I am so frustrated with BH.
Realist says
If you can afford to lose the fee, do it. When we were on waiting lists for baby care, I did not regret putting down (and losing) a fee to hold a spot in two back up choices. And since lists were long for the infant rooms, I know they filled those spots right away. I was just glad to have the option when a spot arose.
Anonymous says
Our daycare is limiting to 10 people per classroom, which means only 8 kids. One parent suggested a ninja warrior contest among the parents to compete for the slots, which is more info than I’ve gotten anywhere else…
I haven’t seen the daycare’s actual plan to allocate scarce slots, yet, and this is further complicated because my YMCA daycare is currently serving as state-sponsored childcare for essential workers. So do we just kick out the kids who have been using it because their parents are essential workers? I have no idea. I think they are just hoping that enough people will still want to keep their kids at home, but I doubt that will be the case. Usually there are 2 pool days/week in the summer — one for swim lessons, and one for play — but daycare has said no pool yet, so the kids are going to be very, very disappointed.
CCLA says
Ours offered spots first to kids of essential workers (daycare is affiliated with a local hospital). This is the first week back and there are only a handful of kids in each room…our 1.5 yo is one of 3 kids! Normal class sizes at the center, which has 4 rooms ranging from infant to pre-k, were 10 (infant) up to 18 (pre-k). DD1 in pre-k is one of 5 kids right now. I gather from talking to the director they would have admitted a couple more kids in certain rooms, but based on talking to other parents, the main reason for not sending kids back yet was the limited hours, which right now are from 830-230 as we ease back in.
Kids 3+ are wearing masks. I’m open to the idea that in the future we’ll know more and will say if the same kids are in the same space all day mask-wearing isn’t offering a significant benefit, but for now, I think it’s the right call.
CHL says
My kids just started this week. It’s max 8 kids with 2 teachers, but they only have 5 kids right now in this grouping. With smaller groups they have been able to use some of the non-usual class space at the daycare (the art room, the games lounge” etc. The enrollment is way down so it hasn’t been an issue. They will also facilitate a teacher coming to your house as a nanny (kind of like payrolling through the school) . The adults wear masks and the kids are encouraged to. They asked how “assertive” we want them to be about making the kids wear masks. So far it has not been a problem but our more calm child is currently there and our more persnickety one doesn’t start til next week. We let them pick out fun ones that they liked and are hoping for the best.
Anon says
Our daycare has a lot fewer kids coming back at this point, so the ratios aren’t an issue now. Teachers are wearing masks. Kids over 2 are encouraged but not required to wear masks, provided they can take them on and off properly and won’t mess with them. My kid is 2.5. We wore masks at home, got her one to just experiment and play with at home, got one for her doll/animals to wear, and talk up how cool they are. We also talk a lot about how you can tell someone’s eyes are smiling even in the mask. It’s been a fine transition for her. Some kids have a harder time with seeing grownups in the masks but don’t assume it will be a disaster.
NYC Girl says
Shout out to the ladies who suggested Jockey Skimmies as maternity shorts for under dresses. I got them up one size and they are perfect – thank you!
Gross problem says
This is gross, but does anyone have any advice about a kid who just has the nastiest smelling gas? He’s 7 and this has been a pretty constant thing since he was about 4 or 5. He seems to eat a completely normal diet for his age. I’ve mentioned it to the doctor and he says he’s probably just constipated, but he really doesn’t seem to have a problem with that, and we started giving him fiber gummies and more juice but haven’t seen a big difference. It is really gross and pretty frequent, and I’m worried this is going to start being a social issue for him over time.
Anon says
Lactose intolerance can cause pretty terrible smelling gas (personal experience). Are you sure he doesn’t have any food intolerances?
Gross problem says
I’ve thought about that, but the doctor didn’t seem to think it was a concern when I asked whether it could be a food issue. I don’t know if that’s something we should try to test on our own (or even how exactly we would do that). Trying to restrict dairy would be a huge (and unwelcome) change in our household.
mascot says
I don’t think you have to restrict as much as alter. Switch to Fairlife or some other lower lactose milk, look for cheeses with naturally lower lactose, use greek yogurt, etc.
anne-on says
I would think you can do an elimination diet with milk/dairy pretty easily, right? Like, can you first swap to lactose free milk and see if it helps and then limit ‘raw’ milk (ice cream, cheese, butter). My kid still doesn’t love dairy/eggs after he outgrew his allergies – coconut ice cream and Popsicles are an easy swap for treats, and cheese baked into things (pasta, pizza) isn’t as big of a trigger as like, cheese sticks.
Gross problem says
How long would I have to do that, though?
Anonymous says
Forever, if it works.
Gross problem says
No, I mean how long would it take to know whether or not it works? Like I said, the doctor dismissed this idea, so I’m not thinking it’s got a great likelihood.
Anon says
I haven’t gone through this with my kid, but I am lactose intolerant. The change is pretty immediate. If I have ice cream, for example, I have stinky gas and bloating for about 24 hours. On days without any dairy, I’m good.
Butter, hard cheeses, and Greek yogurt don’t bother me. If I take lactase with the meal, I can eat whatever I want.
Anon says
You could try giving your kid lactose pills before meals for a few weeks. Age 4 is about when kids in non-Northern European societies lose their ability to digest lactose. If your doctor is white and his practice is, it’s probably not even on his radar.
Anonymous says
I have lactose intolerance and this is how it presents. Way easier to try lactose pills or lactaid milk for a few days to few weeks than to try a more major elimination diet so I’d advise to start there, particularly if your family is anything but Northern European. The difference is immediate for me.
Anonymous says
It could also be a gluten issue. Ask me how I know…..
Lana Del Raygun says
So this is Clickits: 2 Girly 2 Build, right?
Mattress Pad says
Has anyone found a truly water proof mattress pad for a twin mattress? The one we bought was advertised as waterproof but accidents still get through it. I wish the one we bought for the crib came in twin size…
Anonymous says
We realized we could get the hospital quality pads that are washable on AM Z and they are awesome. We got some in a weird size – it is perfect from side to side on a twin mattress and maybe 2 ft long? We position it so that it covers kid from mid torso to knees basically so even though it’s not full twin size we have full protection of the potential wetness. Signed mom of Heavy wetter till age 10 will post link below.
Anonymous says
Medline soft knit washable underpads – 34×36
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000FED594?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title
Nanny Share says
What’s the going rate for a nanny share – total and/or per kid? Thinking two toddlers (2yo’s). I’m in a Boston suburb. We’d like to pay on the books.
Anon says
Maryland suburb of DC, $22-25 per hour for 2 toddlers. Your price might depend on which Boston suburb/how far out you are–I’d expect to pay more in the W towns.
OP says
Thanks. It’s a northern burb along 128. Not Wellesley/Weston/Newton or Hingham/Cohasset which I know would likely come with a premium (grew up in one of those named towns).
Pogo says
We might be neighbors :) I’ve heard the same – or phrased differently, $45K-55K/salary.
Anon says
Wow, I make as much as a nanny. Good to know.
OP says
Merp, this outs me but whatever – I’m in Reading. You?
I know someone on one of these pages grew up here not too far down the road from where I live.
Pogo says
Sorry? Just being honest. That is the going rate for a nanny in our area – as the poster below in Lincoln (a bit fancier of a town than mine but very close by) said a nanny share there is $40K/year which means the nanny makes $80K. Our provider (a small in-home, very similar to a nanny share) makes similar based on what I know we pay and multiplying by # families. I feel that’s very fair compensation based on our cost of living in the Boston area.
Anon says
A nanny makes 80K? I thought a nanny share was supposed to split the cost of a nanny at least partly. How is that even possible.
Pogo says
I read the below comment as each family paid $40K/year to be in the nanny share and assumed it was two families, so $80K total. It’s on the high end for what I’ve heard friends pay for a single nanny (ie just one family) but with one family it’s usually also fewer kids. I split with essentially four families for our daycare so that was how I determined our provider makes $80K.
Anon says
Nanny shares typically split costs in some way. They don’t just double them.
And your in-home daycare has four families. That’s a business. Not someone’s employee or nanny. Not the same.
Boston Legal Eagle says
That sounds about right – in the $22-25 range for two kids.
Anon says
Total or per kid?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Total.
For an on the books nanny in greater Boston, I think a gross salary of $60-70K (thinking of over 40 hours per week) sounds about right. Nanny share will be less per family, divided up as you see fit.
Anonymous says
We live in Lincoln. An on-the-books nanny is $25/hr+. Friends of ours did a toddler nanny share and it was $40k/year in salary, plus benefits. 45 hour work week, two weeks paid vacation, one week was to coincide with the family summer vacation. They also usually gave the week of Christmas off as extra time off.
I find it’s less about the town itself but more about proximity to a high supply of nannies.
If it’s for the summer you could do a summer sitter in cash.
Anon says
Sorry if I’m being dense.
Is the $25/hr on the books nanny for one child/family?
The friend in the nanny share at $40k/year, was that per kid or total?
Anonymous says
I actually just texted her to ask ;). The gross cost to each family is 30k, for a total gross of $60k. The nanny’s salary is a gross of 45k. The other 15k is for a employer costs (payroll taxes, wcomp, etc), and a stipend for activities/meals. One family is the host but they pay equally as it is more convenient for the host family and both parents in the host family work outside the home in normal times and have slightly later hours.
Anooooooon says
What are reasonable expectations of a reluctant stay-at-home parent during COVID? Our roles have shifted and the new normal is dragging on, often without discussion. Neither of us wanted the role we’re in now, but here we are. I work a 50+ hour a week job (now from home, from our home office, instead of being part-time like I wanted). Spouse is not working at the moment and is in charge of our 3 year old and 6 month old (instead of phasing back into work like they wanted, with kids at daycare). I know Spouse is exhausted and overwhelmed. I am exhausted and overwhelmed. But one of us has to be doing the dishes and the laundry, right? How much grace do we give ourselves/each other on this? I am not currently wearing underwear because none is clean and haven’t used a fork without cleaning it before use for like a week and I coulda sworn this was supposed to be the not-employed person’s job.
anne-on says
Wait, so your husband isn’t doing ANY laundry or basic tidying while he’s home? Like, at all? Yea, I’d be pretty upset with that too. It takes all of 5 minutes to start a load of laundry and swap it to the dryer. Ditto with running and unloading a dishwasher. These are absolutely tasks that can be done during a video or by sticking the little one in a pack and play for 5 minutes.
Has he ever taken care of the kids solo before? My husband had a really hard time managing anything but baby care for one of my first work trips at 6.5mos. I’d had my whole maternity leave to figure out how to multi-task (or I wasn’t getting a shower in or food prepped for me) but it took him a bit to figure out how to do that. Can you talk about how you manage – ie, while the kids watch 15 minutes of a show/videos/etc. I find it a good time to start laundry or run the dishwasher. While they’re napping I try to rest, but first I set a 5-10 minute timer to pick up from lunch, wipe down the counters, and start the dishwasher.
mascot says
Re-frame this in your head is the answer here, IME. In the Before Times, you and your spouse split chores because you both had jobs outside the house, right? Now your spouse has a new FT job which is caring for young kids. That doesn’t automatically mean that this new job means also doing all the chores. I hear your vent- I get unreasonably annoyed when my WFH spouse leaves lunch dishes in the sink (hi, you couldn’t do that when you worked in the office, don’t do it here). But, that doesn’t fix the problem for me to seethe. Perhaps sitting down with your spouse and re-balancing the chores makes sense. So does giving each other a whole bunch of grace because it’s stressful to find yourself in a role that you didn’t want and you don’t know when it ends.
IHeartBacon says
This.
blueberries says
At those ages, for my kids, it wasn’t possible to get much done on top of taking care of the kids. I think chores have to be shared once the kids are in bed. ymmv depending on your kids.
SC says
The way I see it, full-time childcare is a full-time job. Childcare to a 3 year old and a 6 month old is definitely full-time. Taking care of a house and yard is also a full-time job. I spent 6 months unemployed and kept my kid in daycare because I was looking for another job. I easily spent 80% of the time that Kiddo was in daycare on laundry, dishes, cleaning, yard work, errands, and meal prep, plus did more of the evening and weekend work. I was wearing a Fitbit and tracked about 8500 steps per day in my own 1100 square foot apartment. So, honestly, I don’t think it would be possible to care for a 3 year old and 6 month old while handling the majority of domestic labor–at least not to any high standard.
For several years, I’ve been employed, and my husband is a SAHD. Pre-Covid, DH handled all things inside and outside the house–laundry, cooking, dishes, bathroom, yard, repairs and maintenance. He also did 80% of the weekend and evening childcare, and of course handled all doctors’ and therapy appointments and Kiddo getting sent home sick or for bad behavior. Now, DH is fully occupied from 8 am until 8 pm, except a 40 minute break for Kiddo’s quiet time and a 20 minute break (usually) after dinner. While he’s taking care of Kiddo, DH is able to do a few loads of laundry, a little bit of yard work, and some small projects. That’s with a single 5 year old who has more capacity for independent play than a 3 year old.
I’ve been doing all the dishes. That’s a huge job when everyone eats 3 meals a day at home. We work together on everything else during the weekends, to the limit of our time and energy. We’ve cut ourselves a lot of slack. There have been days we’ve gotten creative with clothing. There have been days DH has had to cook around a pile of dishes I’ve left undone. Our bathrooms got gross at one point. A neighbor who spends all his time on his yard glared at me when our grass got long (or maybe I imagined that). For several weeks, we had use of only half our kitchen table because Kiddo had 100 projects out.
My parents just stayed with us for a week. The house has been re-set, thanks to their help. I will actually get a day “off” this weekend.
Lily says
If you’re working 50/hours a week, you have time to wash your underwear and load/unload the dishwasher. Husband should be taking care of of all childcare-related things during your work hours (occupying them/feeding them/doing their laundry).
If you were working 70 or 80 hour weeks, my answer would be different.
anon says
Yeah, I kind of agree with this. Your kids are at REALLY tough stages, and it doesn’t surprise me that not a lot of housework is getting done. Bottom line, you have to completely renegotiate this based on how things are now, not what they have been.
Realist says
I agree that those ages are a full time job. I think a reasonable expectation are that (1) the household has to have the bare minimum done, (2) you are each doing your part to manage the household, and (3) you each get about an equal amount of leisure time in a typical week. So figure out the bare minimum, and divvy it up fairly so that (2) and (3) are accomplished.
As your DH in this situation, I can also say that it is a mentally tough to be a SAHP when it was never what you had in mind and doesn’t really suit your skillset. The problem is that you both deserve a break but there is no one there to give either of you a break, and the usual outlets and help are not available. It . . . just sucks. But you do need to figure out how to have clean underwear and forks and make sure that you are each getting a chance to unplug. And honestly, if you need to buy some disposable dishes to get by on tough days, or buy a 30-day supply of underwear because the laundry schedule is going to be erratic, then just do it.
One thing that works in our house for dishes is that the dishwasher always gets run overnight and unloaded in the morning so we start and end the day with a clean sink. Sometimes we are washing things by hand after dinner that would normally go in the dishwasher, just to keep the dishwasher down to one load a day, but having a schedule and the expectation of when the dishes get done really helps. Same thing for laundry–you generally need to decide if you are a family that does a load or two of laundry every day, or if you do a marathon of laundry all weekend long. If you do a load a day, I do know one couple that fold it together while they watch TV after the kids are in bed.
Given the demands on DH’s time by the kids, I’m thinking you will need to split a lot of chores after hours. Which I know sounds crazy because you only get a few minutes a day to yourself that you aren’t working or taking care of kids, but the same is also true of DH and the chores have to get done somehow.
Anooooooon says
Totally agree, no one wanted this. It just sucks all around. :( It doesn’t help that I’m nursing the baby and that is such a distraction and a time suck from the work I do which is paying for the mortgage and non-milk-related food. We’re both just totally at capacity and yet the sink is overflowing. It seems 13 weeks is about how long I can “let go” of things before I implode.
Y’all are right, we have to renegotiate, I just have to find the time to have a conversation…
anon says
I want to validate that this sucks. You and your DH are not doing anything wrong; this is so hard on parents of tiny kids.
SC says
When you do renegotiate, nursing is absolutely, 100% part of your household duties. It’s a huge time suck and energy suck and at 6 months is probably reducing the amount and quality of sleep you get. Count it on your side when you divide things up.
It does suck. It is hard. Hang in there.
Anooooooon says
IT TOTALLY IS. Baby is going through a growth spurt (I think) and I’m exhausted on so many levels just from feeding him.
IHeartBacon says
+Infinity
Anonymous says
My husband works 60-80 hours week and I’m stuck at home bc of Covid. My husband still has childcare and household responsibilities. His responsibilities are simply reduced bc of the number of hours he is working. If he expected that all household responsibilities were mine while also caring for the kids, I would be researching divorce. We are both exhausted. Figure out a fair allocation of responsibilities for your situation and what tasks can be ignore
Anooooooon says
Woah nelly, no one is talking divorce. I’m just saying, we have to run the dishwasher more than once a day with all the dishes we’re making now, so if he doesn’t run it during the day with regularity we’re usually all f’ed on a treadmill of never-clean dishes. I admit I should probably have tossed my own undies in when I did the kid’s laundry cause I knew I was low, but didn’t have the brain cells for that kind of critical thinking when I was doing laundry at 9pm. Just trying to figure out the right balance here, no one is trying to make the other person do everything!
DLC says
I’m currently unemployed at home with three kids (ages 8- 8 months) while husband works from home. We still split the household chores, but he might do the ones that take less time: I.e he throws the laundry in the wash and flips it and I will fold and put it away. I do most of the cooking so that he can work up til almost dinner time, but then once he is off work, he gets 30-60 mins to relax and then has to come help with the kids. We had a moment about a month ago where I had a meltdown said, “I cannot be with the children all. the. time.” We’ve always had a bedtime routine where one person puts the kids to bed and the other cleans up after dinner and that hasn’t changed. (I do try to clean as much during the day so the kitchen isn’t decimated by the time he gets to it.). We deep clean on weekends and he does all the yard work.
I agree with the above posters, though, you and your spouse need to figure it out together- your needs, their needs, kids needs, and bare minimum of household needs. Caroline Hax once said something like there is a lot of anger and frustration in the gap between expectation and reality, and I think about that a lot when I am mad at my husband. Hugs, though! Nothing is easy for anyone these days.
Seafinch says
I have been home with my four kids for five years of leave, including the most recent mat leave that just ended, during which my husband deployed and I was the only person caring for them (ages 8,5,3, and baby). I could easily prepare all meals (from scratch, no frozen stuff or short cuts), shop, do all laundry (including cloth diapers), all dishes and keep the house tidy. Whenever I am on mat leave and he works, I do 99% of it, not because I am martyr -I am SO not- but because it is easy to do when you are home all day. My kids also have very limited, to no, screen time. He works 40 hours a week. I don’t expect everyone to do it our way but I agree this is the “not working person’s job” (I won’t say unemployed because I get 94% of my salary for my one year mat leaves and make substantially more than my husband).
Anom says
Hahaha this is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. You have 4 kids, cloth diaper, no shortcut on cooking and your kids get no screen time. You sound incredible, but most of us are not this super human. It annoys me to no end when people post stuff like this like it’s actually helpful or attainable.
anon says
Our public school system (only one in my town) sent out a survey to parents this week on 3 different options for fall, should in-person classes not be feasible. All three options are terrible.
1) Half days for everyone
2) One week at school, one week doing virtual instruction from home
3) All virtual instruction from home
HOW THE EFF is any of this sustainable without a SAHP? Even my DH is freaking out, and believe me, he was annoyingly chill during Round 1 of homeschooling. We’ll have two kids in elementary school instead of one, and fall is the busiest work season for us both. Fall is a tough time for us even when things are going WELL. I’m seriously considering taking leave … no idea how that would feasibly work with my role, but the numbers do not add up.
Realist says
I think your school district is more ahead than most. I fully expect this will be the case for many districts (not all) across the country for the fall. Possibly more if a second wave hits in the fall and shutdowns ramp up over the winter. I don’t see any policy solutions forthcoming. If you aren’t politically involved as a person, now is the time to start learning. These issues are not going to be solved family by family. Women are being hugely set back in their careers.
anon says
I’m not sure why you assume that I’m not politically involved, but in the absence of actual policy solutions, these decisions WILL be made at the family level. And I completely agree that women’s careers are going to suffer as a result; I also think the old white guys don’t give a sh!t.
Spirograph says
At least they’re asking? I hope they are using this to get a feel for what parents view as the least-bad option, and everyone agrees all of them are fallback plans from “everyone goes to school on a normal schedule, but the school implements a whole bunch of safety measures in the building.”
I’m right there with you with your take on this, though. We will have a K and 2nd grader next school year, and I’m not shepherding them through a bunch of online learning. I’m just not. I already know it is not effective for my son, and I can’t imagine it is effective for ANY kindergartener.
Anon says
I would send your superintendent and board of ed a separate email regarding your thoughts. I am planning to (soon). They may be overly cautious because they think that’s what parents want. I’m planning to communicate that I am comfortable opening my circle to the kids in my child’s class, letting them share materials and not wear masks in the classroom, and advocate for the type of K experience I’m hoping for – in short, I’m okay mitigating risks at a reasonable level, but I am in no way expecting a zero risk environment (in fact, aiming at such an impossible goal sounds like it will create a nightmare school experience) and I definitely want recess!
Obviously I am not the ultimate power, and we need to take into account high-risk teachers, etc., but I do think it’s helpful to make our preferences known to the authorities.
Anon says
+1 we sent an email to our state and city superintendents advocating for the same thingS (in addition to a completing bunch of surveys they did). I wanted to make sure our voices were heard.
Alanna of Trebond says
Does anyone have recommendations for resources to reduce maternal deaths in black women that accept donations? I have not had good luck from searching the internet. I was extremely saddened and moved by this story: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/02/amber-rose-isaac-new-york-childbirth-death
Anonymous says
This organization looks good! https://blackmamasmatter.org/about/
Lana Del Raygun says
Abide Women https://www.abidewomen.org/
Anonymous says
What are people’s thoughts on flying to a vacation spot this summer? We (me, husband and 1-yr-old) and had planned to rent a house with my in-laws in St John, USVI in July before Covid happened. They really still want to go, now that the island is making its way back to being fully open. I’m pretty hesitant but everyone else is on board, and I guess my main concerns are for their health rather than ours. Mostly worried about the air travel. Thoughts?
Anon says
You’ve probably already done this, but I guess the realm of questions you should ask: triple check the quarantine requirements both going there, & any coming back? Are there any curfews in place while there? If so, does that matter to you? Would you not be under strict quarantine, but encouraged not to leave your place of stay, in which case is going still worth the $$?
You could also go down the path of, if one of you did come down with COVID while there, what happens (do you stay on the island, where, is there enough capacity where you are staying where you could extend your trip if needed to while sick?, get airlifted back…?).
No wrong answer to any of those. At some point risking getting COVID while travelling & what happens in the aftermath in that destination is just a risk tolerance we all have to judge for ourselves as everything opens. I don’t mean the death aspect necessarily b/c we can all look a the numbers and decide if that’s within our risk tolerance or not, but I mean even if you are super healthy & come down with a super mild case, you can’t just hop on the next commercial flight back home….so what happens?
I would feel mildly better knowing that St. John is a US territory vs. entirely international.