What Are Your New Year’s Resolutions for 2019?
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Have you set any New Year’s resolutions as a working parent, or do you feel like you already put too much pressure on yourself to be “a good mom”? (Not to mention society’s expectations of working moms, and the pressure from parents, in-laws, and/or other family members, whee!) What do you think the best New Year’s resolutions ARE for working parents? You can keep things positive and avoid veering into “mom guilt” territory by writing your parenting resolutions as fun goals, such as “Get a science museum membership and take the kids once a month” or “Start a weekly family pizza-and-movie night.”
We’ve regularly talked about New Year’s resolutions over at Corporette, but we haven’t really looked at them here at CorporetteMoms through the lens of parenting. This year, do you want to be better about sharing parenting/household duties with your partner? Get more organized with kid-related stuff? Plan some major family vacations? Take stock of your work/life balance?
As for my parent-related goals for the year, the recent iOS addition of the Screen Time feature was an eyeopener that made me resolve to cut down on my son’s screen time AND the amount of time he sees me using my iPhone. I also need to work on meal planning. My husband usually isn’t home from work by dinnertime, so most nights it’s just me and my son. Dinner is usually a spontaneous, “Hmm, what does he want, and what do I want…?” situation, and I’d like to get more organized about it. There are complicating factors — he eats meat and I don’t, he could stand to gain some weight and I don’t need to, we have some different dietary preferences, etc. — but I’m sure I can at least make some small improvements. Another issue I’d like to focus on is having more outdoor time with my son. As an adult, I’ve never been a really “outdoorsy” sort of person — I sunburn easily and am afraid of bees, for example — but kids today simply don’t get enough time outside. (Using the phrase “kids today” is one of those things that automatically make you feel old, isn’t it?)
Now it’s your turn: Are you making any parenting resolutions for 2019? If so, what are they? If you’ve set New Year’s resolutions that are solely focused on you, are they related to your parenting goals for this year? Or do you dislike the idea of New Year’s resolutions for working parents in general?
I’m trying to keep things to simple goals that I can attain.
1. Drink more water. I drink a shockingly low amount of water. My goal is to do 24 oz a day.
2. Yoga once a week. I stopped a few years ago. I figure once a week is super-easy to achieve.
I have none. I always have the following goals: (1) be more patient, and (2) use my time more wisely (I say as I spend time on an internet blog/message board). Advice as to number 2 greatly appreciated.
I want to perfect my at-home manicure technique and maintain a manicure as much as possible. Having neatly polished nails somehow makes me feel so much more organized, in control, and prepared to deal with people at work.
On the opposite end of the mom guilt spectrum, I’ve started two lists for this year and set a reminder on my phone to complete them each night after the littles go to bed (goal is to complete most nights – no pressured)! One is a gratitude list where I write at least one thing I’m grateful for after reflecting on the day. The second is my “Give Myself Credit” list where I write at least one thing I did well that day. Yesterday was, “held it together without yelling during a CHALLENGING toddler dinner, then had a good attitude during the bedtime routine.” I’m so good at recounting all the things I could have done better, so I’m really enjoying giving myself credit for the things that make me a good mom/wife/employee/etc.
No more online clothes shopping for my own clothes. I thought I was saving time shopping online, but I think that’s false. Case in point: I recently bought one suit jacket, one skirt, 2 different sizes and styles of pants and 2 different sizes of shirt — and none of them fit. So that was $300 dollars I had tied up, and I lost $7.95 to ship it back, and I had to lug a giant bag of clothes from my car where I park to the UPS drop box in my city office. Just not worth it. I hope it cuts down on my mindless shopping and closet bursting with clothes I’m only “meh” about. For my kids, I’m resolving to do more second-hand-first shopping, especially for the youngest, since she’s the end of the line for hand-me-downs. Also, keep my house cleaner and tidier with the compound cleaning method, and I am already failing spectacularly.
I believe New Year’s resolutions should be both achievable and ambitious, and so my resolution this year is simple: SURVIVE.
Because candidly, as a parent, sometimes that’s what you can ask of yourself. I have an extremely active 21 mo and am expecting kiddo #2 in 2 weeks. I will be off work for 12-14 weeks, but then back to a very demanding job (attorney and director in a state agency), back to commuting 3 hrs a day, with two kids in full time daycare for ~$50k/year. My next year will include navigating being a parent of two, lots of middle of the night wake ups, pumping multiple times a day before and after work and between meetings, trying to find time for late night work after kids are asleep, dealing with sudden schedule changes while not one but two kids battle the constant stream of daycare plagues, trying to maintain a relationship with my husband through the chaos, and trying to manage basic things like eating, drinking water, and sleeping (occasionally at least). I think a goal of survival is plenty.
Go on more adventures with my toddler. We made a big list of fun things to do. He’s a great little adventurer – he loves the backpack, museums, being out and about and I hope that will only improve as he gets more mobile. Our flat is small and our garden is tiny so staying home all day isn’t really ideal.
1. Finish the 12 steps (I’m on step 4 and will be doing step 5 on Saturday)
2. Get reusable ziplocs, a few more glasslock containers, and a little compost pail to cut down on trash. Also considering trying to use handkerchiefs rather than kleenex and washcloths rather than disposable makeup wipes… Just trying to make better environmentally friendly choices in general
3. Get up off my duff once in a while. I started the zombie version of couch to 5k on Tuesday and I’m doing my second run this evening.
At my husband’s request, one of mine is to give him more hugs and show more physical affection. He’s totally right that I don’t do this enough.
My other one is to spend my time more wisely and make my health a higher priority than housework. I haven’t gotten enough sleep or exercise in a while, and I don’t like the way it makes me feel. This might result in me just shelling out for a housekeeper in addition to the biweekly cleaning service; I’m working on giving myself permission to do that.
Trying to go on a no shopping fast for January and shop my closet. Also more family trips. My dad wants to take a big family trip this summer. 5 kids under 5 and 7-9 adults. Coming from Chicago and Texas. Is Hawaii reasonable with toddlers – the travel time and the time change. Also any recommendations on all inclusives vs house rentals. Or other location suggestions? TIA
Just needed to vent.
2018 sucked. Big time. Our lives look amazing from the outside- my husband, kid and i “settled” in after a big trans-Atlantic move but I am really unhappy.
I hate my job, I miss extended family and friends (parents live on a different continent) and I really miss the bay area weather and being able to speak/understand stuff (non-English speaking country)
My job started out sounding and being fun and paying only a little lesser than my old job and that was okay given the cost of living situation. In the time since I’ve started handling the workload of at least 1 other person and learned that the culture is awful. Oh, and the wonderful salary I negotiated, now silver handcuffs because I’m in a city where titles and age matter, and mine isn’t fancy enough for anyone to match my salary. The whole expanding role thing sounds cool, but I just want to work without drama and drama is all that the role expansion has added.
My husband’s work has been similarly challenging. His boss got fired and he got a bigger job. And in an ageist, subtly racist society, it has led to more pressure than anything else. And all this pressure is making him a really really selfish partner and self-absorbed person. i.e a really really bad parent.
The move to Europe was his proposed solution to dealing with awesome-sounding but stressful work and other drama over the last 2 years, so after taking a career hit, dealing with horrible bureaucracy and struggling with (re)building a life, I am not able to be understanding or patient anymore.
So here I am, a 29-year-old mom with a 3-year-old boy wondering if being a single mom is really worse?
I’ve seen a bunch of comments on here and the main page recently about people aggressively paying down or off their mortgage. This is so not a thing for us or my (seemingly) financially intelligent friends. Especially with most people having refinanced or bought during the years of low rates. Is this specific to a certain area of the country? Am I missing something? We’re much more likely to put extra money toward retirement or other long-term savings than paying down our mortgage.
I have a few goals including learning to change a tire, finishing some home improvement projects, booking our first international trip since our honeymoon, and maxing out our 401ks.