This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
My favorite kid-related Instagram is one I’ve mentioned here before, @feedinglittles. The dietitian, Megan, who runs the account packs her children’s lunches in these Bentgo lunch boxes. As a kid, I remember begging my mom to buy me those Kid Cuisine microwave dinners because each part of the meal was right there in its own compartment. Even as an adult, I can see the appeal of eating out of one of these. I also can see it lending itself to healthier lunches, because you have those compartments to fill. I probably would be more inclined to send veggies or cut fruit to fill up each space. Another fun/funny follow is @dictatorlunches, where author Jenny Mollen posts her over-the-top lunches for her son (whom she nicknamed The Dictator). This lunchbox is $27.99 at Amazon and is eligible for Prime. Bentgo Children’s Lunch Box This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Strategy mom says
Leaving for a week vacation in europe w my hubs and woke up with a sore throat (I knew I shouldn’t have shared my water with my daughter and her snotty nose!). Any pro tips? Trying to drown it with water. Anything I should ask my doc for to zap this (doubt it but I’m desperate and have been looking forward to this trip all year).
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’ve found taking some Airborne as soon as I feel a cold getting started helps prevent it from getting too bad. Lots of rest and water helps too.
Anonymous says
Vitamin C, echincea (sp?), zinc. Lots of hot lemon tea with honey and rest as much as possible. Put yourself to bed right after supper if possible.
Anon says
Load up on Vitamin C and take a decongestant like Allegra D or Sudafed for the flight.
Anonymous says
Definitely airborne and Sudafed for the flight so you don’t have sinus pressure on the descent. Hot tea with honey and SLEEP. Literally take an additional day off work with kids in daycare just to rest if possible. If it’s a virus not much your doctor can prescribe unless there’s a specific symptom that needs treated like swollen sinuses (cortisone nasal spray, but you can just buy Flonase) or those numbing pearls for an awful cough.
rosie says
Neti pot, Zicam nasal swabs (the menthol ones, not the zinc ones), elderberry (I like the Zarbee’s gummies). Bring saline spray for th eplane so you don’t get too dried out. I would bring a nasal irrigation bottle w/some saline packets and pick up distilled water at your destination as a sub for neti pot on the go.
Strategy mom says
Never heard of the nasal swabs! Getting those!
EB0220 says
A hot toddy seems to help me fight the sore throat too: hot tea, 1 T lemon juice, a squirt of honey and whiskey to taste.
NYCer says
I find that Zicam helps a lot if I take it at the very onset of symptoms.
2 Cents says
I’d ask for a z-pack in case the other suggestions here don’t work and you’re stuck in Europe with a cold (or it’s getting worse).
Anonymous says
Antibiotics don’t fight viruses.
Anon says
+1000. I hate that people ask for them/doctors dole them out for everything
FVNC says
Likely placebo, but I drink what I call “the concoction” when I feel a cold coming on: hot water + apple cider vinegar + tablespoon of cayenne + some lemon juice + honey. It is revolting but magic.
Anonanonanon says
If it isn’t better in a day or two, go get swabbed to make sure it’s not strep. If it is strep, you’ll have 48 hours of antibiotics in you by the time you leave, hopefully. If it’s a cold, it’ll progress to your head and chest by then and you’ll know.
CCLA says
Assuming it’s not strep (ymmv but I can usually tell the difference, and if congestion is present for me it’s usually just a cold), I’d load up on sudafed not just for the plane but around the clock for a couple of days, along with sleep and advil and tea. Make sure it’s the real sudafed that you have to show ID for. Rest up and feel better!
Anonanonanon says
This. the real sudafed makes all the difference.
Anonymous says
I’ve been pregnant/nursing for the last 2.5 years so I’ve been off all cold meds. I recently got a daycare cold and since I was no longer nursing, decided to take ZzzQuil at night. Man, that stuff is great! I usually can’t sleep well with a cold because of all the congestion, but I took that and slept for about 12 hours straight. And the next day, I felt basically completely recovered, probably because of all the sleep.
Strategy mom says
Y’all are all the best! Thank you so much! Don’t want to jinx myself but I think it’s getting better…
Anonymous says
The discussion about daycare room parents the other day made me wonder – as my room’s PTA rep is it my unofficial job to coordinate teacher holiday gifts? I haaaaate asking people for money, but I don’t want to leave our wonderful teachers high and dry.
Leatty says
As someone who hates coming up with gift ideas but has no problem giving money towards a gift card, I’m always so happy when someone offers to buy teacher holiday gifts. You can always phrase it as, “if you’re interested in contributing towards a gift card for the teacher from the class, please let me know and I’d be happy to coordinate it on everyone’s behalf”. Then no one feels obligated to contribute but can do so if they are interested.
Anonymous says
Curious why you need to wait for someone to coordinate a group gift? I understand not being good at coming up with cute/creative gift ideas (I’m the same) but I always thought gift cards were a totally acceptable gift even if you do them just from your family.
Anonymous says
I thought gift cards were not just acceptable, but preferred for teacher gifts. They don’t want cookies or tchotchkes.
Leatty says
If someone doesn’t volunteer, then I definitely buy a gift card for teachers. It’s just easier for me to venmo someone some money towards a gift card than it is to buy the gift card, buy a nice card, and write a nice message in it.
Anonymous says
Yup, this. Gift cards are great, fine, perfect, very much appreciated. For a teacher, a handful of cash is a bit better than 8 $50 gift cards to different places, and saves time on the parents’ end, but in no way is a GC ever a bad thing!! do not feel bad! do your thing!
anon says
I also appreciate it when a suggested amount is included in the coordination email, so there is no guesswork. Like: “If you choose to participate, $10 is the suggested contribution, but whatever amount you feel is appropriate will be appreciated!” I also like it that our room parents clarify that all children will be listed on the card regardless of contribution.
mascot says
Our elem. school does coordinated group gifts in the form of gift cards- the bulk goes to the main teachers, but they also give smaller amounts to the each of enrichment teachers. Teachers seem to like it because they get 1 card instead of a bunch of smaller cards and families like it because they can give what they feel comfortable with and not feel like a teacher knows that one kid gave $25 and the other gave $5.
Anonanonanon says
If you want it to be “cuter” than a gift card (which, I think a gift card is fine), my son’s room mom coordinated a giftcard wreath one year. She offered up the teacher’s 3 favorite places (Starbucks, Target, and a food place) and everyone got gift cards between $5 and $15- or contributed via paypal- and they were put on a wreath. I’m sure it was a hassle for the teacher to keep track of them all, but has more of a presentation factor than a single gift card.
Anonymous says
I posted on the last thread. I do it, and I keep it super casual. “i’m collecting for anyone that wants to contribute. if you want to participate, do what feels right for your family. If everyone contributed $##, we’d have $## per teacher and $YY per assistant. Deadline is X. I will send one reminder after Thanksgiving.”
Then I send one reminder. I collect whatever is given and give a card to those people to sign. If people don’t contribute, I don’t give them the card to sign. I assume they are doing their own thing.
There’s no begging or badgering. I don’t actually care if people contribute, they are welcome to or not.
ElisaR says
Any advice on a daycare drop off that has recently gone miserably? My 3.5 yr old son who has been at the same daycare since he was 5 months old is going through a phase where drop off is nearly impossible. This has happned before but it seems worse now. He’s physically clinging to my leg for dear life and crying and yelling out. I was away for 4 days last week/wknd and I’m thinking this is the cause. Also I’m not sure he’s super comfortable with his teacher (new teacher as of Sept 1).
What’s best, rip the bandaid off and scoot out? Talk him through it? I tried both and neither has been going well. It’s breaking my heart. (His 22 mo old brother gets dropped off no problem but he went through an age-appropriate phase a few months ago).
EB0220 says
My kids go through this from time to time. The thing that has worked the best for me at all ages is having them push me out of the door. I way overdo it and pretend to fly out the door/make a weird face/etc. and that always makes them laugh. For whatever reason it breaks the “I’m sad” clinging.
ElisaR says
cute. thanks
Spirograph says
We do this, too. My 3 year old has also been hit or miss at dropoff recently, and sometimes I hear him still crying after I drop off my other child, so I know it’s not a case where he calms down immediately once I’m out of sight. He is always happy when I pick him up.
I don’t linger and talk him through it. I might give one extra hug, but after that I am very firm that it’s time for me to go; I definitely don’t want him to think these tactics work! Things that help:
1. Kid pushes me out
2. Let him bring a book or toy (if allowed) from home. He’ll be excited to show it to his friends/teacher and esp with a book the teacher will often offer to read it right then, which is a good distraction
3. Bring a snack from home, again, distraction
4. Walk over to friends playing with a toy and get him started playing with them. If he’s already involved in something, sometimes I can slip out with just a kiss and a wave
Anonymous says
We went through a rough phase with our 4 year old twins even though they had been at the same daycare since they were two. What helped was allowing them to pick a book at home to bring for their teacher to read to them (and any friends who wanted to listen) as soon as they arrive and had their coats off. Having this to look forward to seemed to really help. I think it made them feel like they had some control over what was happening in their day. After a few weeks, they didn’t seem to need it anymore and just ran to play with their friends.
ElisaR says
this is a good idea, he loves his books
Emily S. says
We just went through this with our 4 year old at the beginning of the school year, and then, a few weeks later, with the 2 year old. Drop off was definitely worse when DH had been out of town for a few days.For both girls, a firm hug and a reminder that it’s okay to feel sad and grown-ups come back, then out the door worked best. The teachers reassured us that the kids were fine after a while. For 4 year old, it took about a week, for 2 year old, it took about 2 weeks. If the teachers are telling you he’s fine after you leave, it’s probably a sucky phrase to take in stride. If he’s not fine when you pick him up, or you sense there are some bigger issues here, then it’s probably worth talking to your ped. (I’m admittedly anxious about this because a daycare teacher in my state was revealed to be running a “fight club” for toddlers and the parents didn’t understand why the kids were so reluctant to go to school. So, while it is highly improbable, it’s on my mind.)
Anon says
That’s terrifying!
IHeartBacon says
Wow. I didn’t believe you about the fight club, but I just googled it. That’s repulsive.
LadyNFS says
I hadn’t heard about this, either. How awful!
Pogo says
oh god, that just caused my heart to drop into my stomach. Why is the world so awful.
Anonymous says
I hadn’t heard about this either, and the video is just shocking. My kids and I have played with those hulk hands and they are not padded enough to make face blows or hard body blows OK (not that they’re ever OK, even with enough padding). The story I read about it say that it was uncovered because the 10 y.o. brother of one of the preschoolers took the video and sent it to his mom because he was worried about his little bro. Good for him, and I’ll take that away as a little ray of hope.
ElisaR says
oh Emily S. it sounds like you could be my neighbor! that fight club incident was near me.
Emily S. says
It is terrifying and heartbreaking. It also deeply shook my faith in childcare, to where I may be overly sensitive to any perceived reluctance on the part of my children to go to childcare. I hesitated before bringing it up, but I sometimes think how guilty I would feel if I had been a parent who brushed off my child’s fear or reluctance to go to school only to find out they were being hurt there. So I take my kids behavior seriously and worry myself to death over something that is not at all likely. Parenting is so hard on your heart, man.
Anonymous says
I agree with you. The example you gave is obviously extreme, and I trust that my kids’ amazing, top-rated daycare is not doing something like that.. But I think even in the best daycares, there can easily be one teacher that is, say, speaking harshly to the kids, and that may be causing a child to dread the school day. I think it’s always worth trying to get to the bottom of a fear of school, while also re-enforcing to the child that they have to go to school and staying home all day playing with mom and dad is not an option.
ElisaR says
yes i do take their behavior seriously… it really is scary. It’s also why I felt like I went with my gut on choosing a daycare. Not to say I would have sensed this kind of thing was going on but on my daycare tours some places just didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies…..
EP-er says
Rationally, I know she loved it there and was well cared for. And as soon as I was gone, she was happy and smiles. Because of this, I was in the “rip off the band-aid” camp. But boy did I hated this phase! This is what worked for us: she had a window in her room which overlooked the parking lot. I would tell her to go to the window and wave. When I was safely outside, we would blow kisses and sign ILY.
Baby PJ Recs says
I am in need of thicker cotton footed sleepers for my 6 month old baby who wears 12 month size. Bonus if they are not too spendy since they grow out of them so fast :) TIA!
Anonymous says
Are the standard Carters/Cat&Jack/Costco ones not thick enough?
Baby PJ Recs says
I think so…Carter’s seems to have the biggest selection. Just a lot of ones with cutesy characters which I can live with :)
AwayEmily says
Do you have a used clothing store near you? Footed sleepers are one of the few things I can consistently find for cheap.
AnotherAnon says
I found Burt’s Bees Baby pjs to be thicker than Carter’s.
Anon says
My kiddo has always worn double her age in clothes – we like gap PJs but switched out of footed because kiddo has short little legs. I think the organic ones are thicker and cozier than the regular cotton ones, but both have held up well for us and there’s almost always a sale.
Katy says
Can you go to the fleece ones? Carters / Costco have them in the winter (we are in Canada). They go up well above 12 mo, though harder to find. (Snap them up when you see them). I got some 2T ones and am switching the LO to them this weekend. I loathe to think about how he will stay cozy when we have to deal with toilet training.
Anonymous says
I love that bentgo box so much! I use it for my 3 year old’s lunch every day and agree that the number of compartments pushes you to add in extra fruit or veggies just to fill them up.
Anonymous says
Yep! We have 2 for each kid so we can rotate them through the dishwasher and I love having the compartments to help structure their lunches. We usually do a “main dish” in the big compartment, a fruit and a veggie in two small compartments, and then either an extra protein or grain in the last spot, depending on what’s lacking in the main dish. They really are leak-proof, so we’ll often fill the middle hole with some sort of dip (yogurt, hummus, etc.) which encourages more veggie eating.
Also, these go on sale pretty often on Groupon and also on Zullily, so I didn’t pay full price for any of my 4.
AwayEmily says
We had the bentgo kids for my kids and I loved them but they both broke in the same way (the plastic latching mechanism) so we switched to the Yumbox instead.
+1 says
Ours also broke at the latch after only light use! We switched to lunchbots stainless steel and have been happy. The Bentgo felt like a lot to clean and I had a hard time getting into the smaller compartments when I handwashed them. The lunchbots are sadly not leakproof on their own, but you can get smaller add-on containers that are.
Ms B says
PSA on the latch: when ours broke, Bentgo replaced the box + tray for free (bonus tray, yes!). No issues since then; we are now going strong on the second box in year three.
The only question for us is whether the Bentgo will be large enough for what The Kid probably will need to eat for lunch next year as his food capacity continues to increase and, if not, what comes next.
avocado says
Ooh, there is a glass Bentgo as well with three supposedly leakproof compartments. If I had any room left in my cupboards, I’d be trying that one out for the whole family.
AnotherAnon says
Hey, thanks, avocado! My 2.5 y/o has a compartmentalized lunch box, but often he won’t open all the compartments. This looks like a good alternative and I’ve been wanting to trade his plastic one for glass for a while now.
Anonymous says
FWIW I’ve had horrible luck with glass containers with snap-lids like that, because if you drop them the weight of the glass will break the plastic latches. (Whereas with the plastic Bentgos, they can go through a lot of abuse before the latches snap off.)
shortperson says
we love the planetbox. four years strong it’s in perfect shape. we now own 8 rovers and 3 shuttles for the two kids and we cant tell the old ones and new ones apart.
CCLA says
We picked up planetboxes (I think you your rec, shortperson – thanks!) earlier this year and love them. We have a couple rovers to rotate each night, and when DD2 is a little older we’ll add more to the collection. 3yo can open on her own, enjoys the variety of small portions, and no leaks so far.
shortperson says
i dont work for them, i swear
io says
I have both and I wish I’d only gotten Planet Box. Bentgo is too hard to clean and much heavier. I just wish that PlanetBox weren’t so dang expensive. Oh well, I’ll get the Medium next year.
Pogo says
I love this too – I have 2 of them. I actually just buy the inner compartment which is only like $7.99 on the river store; we put it inside a PackIt cooler with his afternoon yogurt & crackers. It simplifies lunches so much – big compartment is his carb, middle small compartment is dried fruit, and the 3 other medium compartments are a veggie, a fruit, and a protein.
We have not had trouble w/ the latches breaking, but it did fall out of the drying rack once and the colored plastic part chipped off. We used superglue to fix it and it’s held up fine!
Megan says
Love the kiddo’s bento box. I have 4 trays with the spare lids now, so I can prep most of the food on the weekend. I also got silicone baking cups for food that needs to be
Microwaved. Two fit in the main compartment.
The glass container is ok- it’s very heavy and takes up a lot of room in our cupboard (can’t really stack it because of the dividers) so I wouldn’t get another.
anon says
which are the pull on pants from uniqlo that have been recommended her a few times and how does sizing run?
Cb says
I think it’s the EZY ones. I tried a pair last year and was between sizes but should really try them again.
GCA says
EZY ankle pants. I have 3 pairs! Uniqlo being a Japanese brand, they run a touch smaller than the US high street brands. I’m a solid XS in Loft and an XS/S in US Uniqlo, for instance. (In Asia I’m an S and sometimes M.) If you think you’re between sizes, get both to try – I’ve never had an issue with online returns.
anon says
they look very baggy online? are they that baggy in person?
DLC says
I find them baggy – I think that is partly the style, but I also don’t have hips or a behind and they tend to not stay up on me.
GCA says
They are a bit baggy, that’s the style, but it works for me (no hips but athletic thighs).
AnotherAnon says
FWIW I really didn’t like these. I’m 5’3″, 120lb, wore size XS and while they fit me fine, by the end of the day the elastic waist band was digging into me and the knees were all stretched out. I’m weird about things touching my waist so it may not bother you at all. The price is amazing! I just don’t think they look very polished. I haven’t found magic pants that are inexpensive and look good.
anon for this says
Yesterday we had to lay people off, and then while I was doing evening routine solo (husband at a client dinner) my toddler bit me on the leg totally unprovoked. It really feels like the universe is testing me.
ElisaR says
give yourself a little reward tonight. chocolate, tea, wine, whatever works for you. it stinks i’m sorry!
Audrey III says
Anyone have a favorite apple picking spot accessible from Arlington, VA (South Arlington if it matters) that will be open on Monday? Going to take the day off and 5yo has requested apple picking. Also have a 20 month old. Thanks!
Anonymous says
How accessible does it need to be? I love Carter Mountain Orchard, but it is near Charlottesville.
Anonymous says
Thanks for the suggestion! A little closer I think; we were hoping to go super early and then be home by nap time. But then again, Charlottesville is probably great this time of year….
Anon says
Second Carter Mountain. Locally I think I’ve heard Great County Farms (looks kind of pricy to me, but YMMV) is good but have never personally been because we always plan a fall weekend in Charlottesville.
Anon says
Also looks like Great Country Farms is not picking on Columbus day.
Anon says
i don’t know if it is open on monday, but i grew up going to Butler’s Orchard in Maryland
Anonymous says
Hey me too! Some of my happiest fall memories that I am forever failing to recreate at overcrowded Hudson Valley orchards.
Anonymous says
We go to Larriland Farm. It also has a farm store, hay rides, kid-scale hay maze, and a haunted house geared for young kids. Butler’s Orchard is also nice, but my kids go there on field trips every year, so we never go as a family. I hear it gets VERY crowded on the weekends. They’re both probably 45-60 min from you
Anonymous says
Larriland is great and open on Monday, but might be far for you.
Anonymous says
I like homestead farm in MD
Anonymous says
Not sure if it’s open Monday’s but Hollins Farm. About an hour from Vienna, VA. If you want to do Butlers on Monday you’ll need to make a reservation online via their website. Not a big deal but I think they just need to know for staff planning purposes during weekdays. Could also try Homestead in Poolesville, MD or Larriland Farms
govtattymom says
My coworker recommended Hartland Farm in Markham, VA (about an hour drive from Arlington).
rosie says
We loved Marker Miller Orchards in Winchester — a little far for us from DC, but should be doable for you in Arlington. They are very chill (allow leashed dogs), nice trees, nice farm market w/doughuts, ice cream, slushies, nice picnic area, playground. They may have wagon rides and that kind of thing, we didn’t look for that when we went.
FWIW we went to Larriland last month and it was not great. My toddler doesn’t like being in the car, and you had to drive between fields. The farm market didn’t have that many read-to-eat treats. Haven’t been to Butler’s in years, but it’s always felt gimmicky to me (like they assign you a specific row for picking berries).
Anonymous says
in Butler’s defense, most berry places I’ve been to assign you a specific row (and ask you to pick all the ripe berries from it). That way they know this row was picked on X date and there won’t be much worth picking there until Y date. Better/more efficient picking experience, and ripe fruit rotting on the vine.
Yes, you do have to drive between fields at Larriland, depending on what you want to pick, and with little kids you probably need to drive from the orchard parking lot over the farm store lot where the fall fest stuff is. When we went last weekend, the Empire and Mutsu apples were ripe and right next to each other, so we picked both with an easy walk. We didn’t get pears or other varieties of apple because those orchards would have been a long walk or another round of in-and-out of car seats.
rosie says
I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum, just mention a few things I didn’t like about those places that I would have wanted to know. And FWIW I’ve never been to another orchard that assigns you a row to pick. I get how it can make sense, but I think it also speaks to how crowded Butler’s can be.
Anonymous says
oh, I didn’t take it that way! I’m agreeing with you about the driving, and once you mentioned it, I thought it was worth pointing out that you have to drive from the farm store to the fields, in addition to driving between fields. The only thing you can pick easily from the farm store parking lot is sunflowers, iirc.
rosie says
I forgot my main gripe about Larriland’s which was no cider doughnuts! At least not when we were there a few weeks ago.
Anonymous says
What?!? The whole point of apple picking is cider doughnuts.
Anonymous says
We skipped the farm store entirely because the line was so long last week, but usually they have cider donuts.
That is not the best food at Larriland, though — they make hot apple fritters all day. topped with powdered sugar, and they are amazing. Also kettle corn, but seriously, get the apple fritters.
rosie says
We must have been slightly pre-season and missed out. Those sound amazing, and maybe could be used as bribes to make all the car loading and unloading a little smoother.
Audrey III says
This community seriously rocks! Thank you all for saving me hours of internet research figuring out where to go. =)
Redux says
I have foolishly scheduled our family pictures at home for this saturday after being away on a work trip for a week. Part of me wants to cancel in order to have time to (1) clean the house (to picture-ready! what was I thinking?) and (2) find outfits for everyone to wear. But if I cancel then our photog can’t get us in for another 4 weeks and by that time it might be winter instead of beautiful fall and we risk not getting the pictures back in time to send holiday cards. Help me figure out what to wear? We’ve never done photos at home but I’m figuring we should go with a more casual look than what we’ve done when our photos have been on location somewhere (usually the state park) when we’ve done more obviously coordinated colors. Ideas? We are two adults, a 5 yo girl and a 2 yo boy.
Cb says
Oh I really love at home photos. I’d do jeans and button down for you if that’s a look you like? Or jeans and a visibly soft sweater.
I also love the look of kids in PJs in a big white bed.
Anonymous says
I like denim with a white top. Or do denim and jewel tones
Anon says
I’d do jeans and a few coordinating colors. Last year, we did jeans with creams and pinks (my baby wore a pink dress, Dad wore jeans with a cream/oatmeal colored henley, I wore jeans with a dusty pink top from Anthropologie). I was so stressed about it at the time but it ended up working out. I think this year we’re going to go with shades of blue and white. I find it easiest to figure out what one member of the family is going wear and then build everything else around that.
AnotherAnon says
I know this gets asked a lot, but I need help with what to send my out of state friend after her first baby (who was born like 8 weeks ago…) So far I have: coffee we both love that you can only get in this state, and a book for baby. She has very specific requirements for how he can be dressed, so I’m not going to send her any clothes. What else is a good gift idea? Bonus if it’s something dad could enjoy. A cigar? Hoping to put it all in a pretty box and mail it off tomorrow!
Anon says
Some cozy socks or slippers for her since you spend a lot of time at home. Maybe a gift card for an UberEats or meal delivery service in their area.
Anonymous says
No, not a cigar. Smoking and secondhand smoke is terrible for people in general but especially newborns. A gift certificate for food delivery or cleaning? A cozy robe or sweater for mom as we approach the winter months? One of those date night in a box things for mom and dad?
Blueberries says
+1 No cigar, even the smoke residue on clothes/hands would be bad for the baby. Gift certificate for food delivery or date night in a box sound lovely. Even better would be homemade food.
Anon says
Counter – my DH really enjoyed the opportunity to slip outside for a cigar with a friend – he just was diligent about showering and changing clothes before coming near me or baby after. But if you don’t want to go down that wormhole (and aren’t sure if her husband genuinely enjoys cigars), agree that gift certificate for delivery or takeout benefits all parties involved.
OP says
Yes, thank you. I don’t know anyone who thinks it would be remotely acceptable to smoke a cigar indoors, much less in the vicinity of an infant? I also thought it was common practice to shower and launder your clothing immediately after.
Anon says
FWIW, my father also smokes cigars, and I don’t think he would have thought to shower and change clothes before holding baby had we not prompted it. Maybe because it’s been so long since he’s been around little kids (we were the first grandkid). He had no problem doing it, but it didn’t occur to him without prompting.
Cb says
Trying to think what was helpful for me at that point. Chocolate and Sophie the Giraffe. And those protective pads for the sling if she baby wears.
What are these specific clothing requirements? One of my regrets is not dressing my baby in a ridiculous fashion in those early years.
AwayEmily says
Snacks snacks snacks. All the snacks. Chocolate, Haribo, Pringles, fancy granola bars, dried fruit, snaaaaaacks.
AnotherAnon says
Duh. Thank you!
EB0220 says
All the snacks. High calorie and not crumbly if possible.
GCA says
chocolate-covered gummy bears, cupcakes, fancy trail mix, local jams/ dips/ spreads (they don’t even have to be ‘artisanal’: every time I go to NYC I go to Le Pain Quotidien and buy several jars of hazelnut spread, ahem), fruit basket… bottle of wine…
ElisaR says
eek i wouldn’t gift a cigar. I think that’s strange and antiquated. and not that my husband would do it but if he smoked it in or even outside the house or near the baby….. just no.
my favorite “baby” gift was a bunch of food on dry ice. it was from the honey baked ham company but i’m sure you could do a lot of places. I have a ravioli place nearby that does it and have sent that to people. because finding time to make or obtain food with a new baby is hard.
and yeah my husband was definitely not sitting back and enjoying a cigar or anything after our baby came.
Anonymous says
Yeah, aside from the whole tobacco issue I feel like it perpetuates a very gross, old-fashioned idea that mom is taking care of the baby while dad is relaxing and celebrating the new arrival. Just…no.
Anonymous says
If someone gave my husband a cigar he would think it was cool, then he would stick it in that one nasty dresser drawer of his I refuse to open and it would stay there until we moved and he had to clean out the drawer.
AnonLaywer says
Man, I haven’t had Honeybaked Ham in years, but that seems perfect – you could just shove it in your mouth or on a roll, and they make great split-pea soup.
ElisaR says
we also received a cheesecake from them with a different type of cheesecake in each slice. um yeah, i ate the whole thing over 2 weeks. i will never forget that cheesecake.
IHeartBacon says
It took you 2 weeks to eat it?! ;)
DLC says
My favorite thing I received after my kid was born was a fruit basket. Everyone brings a casserole or freezer meal and I just really wanted fresh fruit. Not really something you can mail, though.
Burp cloths are also nice- I could never have too many burp cloths.
And an Amazon gift card.
Anonanonanon says
Someone sent us an edible arrangement and, as silly as they are, it was lovely to have on hand! I don’t eat a lot of fresh fruit (GI issues) but my husband and son loved it, and I definitely indulged in some pineapple!
Anon says
I always like to send a book that matches a stuffed animal – jellycat is great for this. Depending on how well you know her, a grocery delivery gift card or subscription might be nice as well.
Anonymous says
We got a box from Omaha steaks plus sides, everything was easy to prepare, and it was awesome!
anon says
did she register? if so, something from her registry. i hated receiving random crap that i did not want or need
OP says
You sound pleasant. Yes I attended her baby shower and purchased something off her registry for that occasion. When we fostered, I actually appreciated receiving “random crap” because I had no idea what babies need or what moms find helpful. Maybe check your privilege?
Anonymous says
Not the person you’re responding to, but how is this “check your privilege”? Sorry, but a lot of baby products ARE “random crap” that many moms don’t need or want, regardless of how much parenting experience they have. I only have one child, but there were lots of things that all my experienced mom friends swore I *needed* that I didn’t want and didn’t think I’d need. And guess what? I didn’t actually need 90% of them and those that I did turn out to need/want I could purchase myself or use gift cards to purchase. The consumables mentioned above are a good bet, because they’re likely to get eaten by someone, even if not the intended recipient. Do not send her a physical item unless you have some reason (registry, conversation with her, etc.) to believe she wants that item.
NYCer says
+1.
rosie says
Assuming no food restrictions, go to Trader Joe’s or similar and get lots of snack-size trail mixes, granola bars, fruit leathers, etc. I loved their vegan rice krispy treat equivalents (for whatever reason). Just fill the box with them as packing material even. If the dad is getting up to take care of the baby overnight, he’ll appreciate snacks, too. I think a teething toy of some sort is nice to throw in as well. You could throw in a waterbottle that can be opened with one hand as well (not a screw top), convenient when holding baby and needing to stay hydrated. We always found Aden & Anais swaddle blankets useful. You might want to put the coffee in a few ziplocs so everything in the box doesn’t smell like it.
Megan says
Swaddle me pod- newborn swaddles with zippers! Someone gave me one and it was a godsend. I gift it to all new moms now. I hated the bulky Velcro in the middle of the night, and little one slept better swaddled! 22 for 2 at target.
Grumpy mom says
Hi everyone,
My MIL and I have an incredibly bad relationship that I feel is mostly on her (I would imagine she feels the same way about me). She doesn’t regularly babysit but I’d say once a month we ask her for a babysitting favor. We don’t pay her (she wouldn’t accept payment) and we have other options (paid) but give her “first refusal” rights I guess you could say. She has other time with kid with us present.
Kid is almost 5 and has special needs.
Anyway I’d suggested we buy her a car seat and she said she’d do it. I didn’t offer to pay (again she’d be insulted). She’s bought a booster seat not a car seat. I’d like the small human in a car seat as long as possible. Husband is fine with the booster and wants to put one in his car too (our kid has a lot of special needs and basically a booster is 1000 times easier than a car seat.
Thoughts? Should I buy her a car seat? Should I talk to her? Should I try and get husband to talk to her (he is not on board at all)?
I feel like this is dishonest because she had said she was getting a car seat but I can see why she might feel like she wasn’t being dishonest. Basically I want my kid to be safe but I don’t want to stir up drama.
Anonymous says
In these situations, I usually ask the doctor. If the doctor says it’s a reasonable decision given your child’s special needs, then I would let it go. If the doctor says, no, child needs to be in a five point harness regardless of how much of a struggle it is, then I would insist on it and just blame the doctor. (My kid is younger but we’ve done this for things like enforcing flu and TDaP shots for relatives visiting in winter).
Anonanonanon says
^This. blame the doctor. It’s an old standby for MIL probs.
Anonanonanon says
Also, I’d fib about how it came up with the doctor. I’d frame it like “You know, we had the same idea to use a booster seat instead of a carseat given how difficult it is to get her in and out of it, but when we asked the doctor, she said it wasn’t safe yet, so we can’t use a booster yet. Now that we know we’re stuck with the carseat for a bit longer, we might get a new one for our car. Do you want the one that’s currently in our car?”
SC says
This is a good idea.
But then I remember that time my FIL awkwardly cornered our pediatrician at a party and talked him into saying the opposite of what he’d told us. (Our pediatrician is also my BIL’s best friend, and we were all at a party for SIL/BIL together–we don’t normally invite him to, like, our kid’s birthday party.)
anon says
again i don’t know the entire family dynamics, but i have been trying (though not always successful) at assuming good intentions. perhaps she genuinely did not realize that she was buying a booster instead of a car seat? could she have gone to a store and asked about a seat for her 5 year old grand child and they assumed a 5 year old sits in a booster? how close is your child to growing out of a car seat and how often do you think she will be driving your kid?
rosie says
I think asking your dr is a good idea. But if your child does require a carseat (or you continue to feel strongly that that is your preference), I would consider whether maybe she’s telling you she’s not comfortable handling getting your kid in and out of the seat, especially if it’s particularly tough, and she should not be driving your child without someone else to assist with the carseat.
I also think it’s totally reasonable for someone who’s not immersed in this stuff to not understand that a booster seat =/= a carseat and would not think of this as dishonest unless she outright said “I know you said a carseat, but I picked this one instead” or something that makes it clear she meant to do something different from what was agreed to.
Anon says
Yes I refer to boosters under the umbrella of car seats…they are seats for a kid to sit on in the car. If you mean five point harness, that may not have been clear.
Anonymous says
Ask the doctor re: safety. My kid started using a booster at 5 and the ped was fine with it, but it’s so kid dependent.
FWIW as an outside party, I would assume your MIL uses booster and car seat interchangeably. I do, and I have 3 kids in them! I use it to mean “safety contraption that is age appropriate for the transport of kids.” For any not-my kids that I transport, I will try and double check with the parents of borderline kids (eg is it ok if your 4 y/o uses a high back booster?). I have the entire arsenal of seating so if it’s not OK I can swap things around. I do not ask about RF vs FF if the kid is 3 and we are just talking about a quick drive across town.
Anonymous says
Why is a booster easier than a car seat? Is there a medical need? To use a booster seat a child needs to be able to sit up in the correct position and not unbuckle themselves. FWIW, it’s pretty common in my area to keep kids in a five point harness like they are 5-6 yrs old at least.
We like the Graco Tranzitions, it looks like a booster seat but has a five point harness. My parents and my MIL who hates me – solidarity) tried to switch my oldest to a backless booster but we just said that we were going to stick with a five point harness seat. DH installed them in my parents car and his mom’s car. We bought them.
Anonymous says
He has a lot of sensory issues and is extremely hard to keep clothed in general and he hates the feeling of confinement in a car seat. He will sometimes outright refuse the car seat and just go limp on you.
avocado says
I am a car seat safety stickler who kept my tiny kid in a 5-point harness in our own cars until she was 8. That said, we started using a substantial high-back booster in other people’s cars much earlier, as soon as she met the minimum weight requirement. We actually felt that this was safer than relying on others to properly install a real car seat, either with LATCH or with the seatbelt. At that point she was old enough to sit up properly and not to play with the seatbelt, though.
anon says
This is a valid point.
anon says
I would not assume the MIL is being dishonest; I would assume she doesn’t know the difference between a booster and a carseat, nor does she know or understand the current recommendations. I totally don’t blame you for not being comfortable with the booster, but I would not assume bad intentions in this particular case.
Anonymous says
+1. I don’t blame you for being a stickler about safety, but I don’t think she’s being dishonest at all, unless she said something like “oh I know you told me to buy a carseat but I decided a booster would be fine, so I just bought that instead.” Most people use the terms fairly interchangeably.
Anonymous says
Your kid is safe in a booster seat and you should let it go.
Anonymous says
Thanks for the replies everyone. She went straight to a backless booster which I think is extreme for my kid (who is almost five but communicating at the level of a 1.5 year old).
I think I’ll buy a booster with a back and talk to her about it. She won’t like it but I’m just not comfortable with what she has (which would likely be a good option in a year). He’s staying in a 5 point car seat with me. haha
Anonanonanon says
Wow this is an incredibly helpful review, especially the info re: playground, readily available food, and areas for eating. Everything someone taking kids out needs to know. May have to check this out myself!
Pigpen's Mama says
I just clicked on those Instagram accounts. I no longer feel accomplished by putting my kid’s lunch of rice (single serving self-stable for those in-a-pinch moments), edamame and mixed veggies (frozen,but hey, I thawed them first!), and the two least sketchy clementines from the fruit bowl, in a $8 bento box from Target. :-)
Here’s hoping she goes back to wanting to get lunch at school soon!
Anonymous says
The Jenny Mollen one is so overwhelming. She serves food I have never even purchased, let alone tried to get my child to eat. (He won’t eat rice, edamame, or clementines, so you are way ahead of me).