Accessory Tuesday: 14K Yellow Gold Beaded Ear Climbers

Cloth diapering – is it worth it to have a diaper service? We live in a tiny apartment but do have our own washer/dryer. A diaper service would pick up once a week. The one I am looking at you don’t buy any of the diapers or other stuff needed they provide it as long as you use their service.

Yesterday I put on an abdominal binder (essentially a corset) to squeeze into one of my two suits that almost fit. Set off the metal detectors at the courthouse. Security guard: “What do you have around your middle? You’re lighting up like a Christmas tree.”

This would be funny if I weren’t already so depressed about my postpartum body. Although twins are 23 months, so I’m not even sure I can call it my postpartum body anymore. I guess it’s just my body? Anyway, wanted to commiserate.

My husband accidentally put my pump tubing in the dishwasher (I can’t be annoyed, because I appreciate that he loads my pump parts into the dishwasher every day). The manual is very clear that you MUST NOT DO THIS. But it’s just because the tubes will deteriorate over time, right? It’s not like I can’t use them any more because I put them in the dishwasher once…hopefully?

I want to work part-time and it’s just not a thing in my industry / company. I’ve gotten the “why would a company want anything less than a full headcount individual” type response. I work in finance.

Has anyone successfully transitioned to part-time and how did you do it? How did you prevent the “work full-time” but get paid part-time thing?

So I have this coworker who talks about her three kids constantly. She’s done this for years. (We were actually pregnant at the same time and gave birth within 3 weeks of each other. My former boss still talks about the time Coworker took over my office baby shower by talking about her own pregnancy!) Everything is about how little Johnny is doing so-and-so, my life is so crazy/hard, yada yada yada. She finds a way to circle back to her kids even if it’s not germane to the discussion at all. I internally roll my eyes and move on, but wow — it really makes me think hard about talking about my kids at work, because I do not want to be perceived like her. I like to think I have enough of a filter to not be obnoxious, but you never know what’s not going to play well. At the same time, I’m in a leadership position and want to set a good example of being able to handle work and parenting, and acknowledging that sometimes “life stuff” comes up so other employees aren’t panicking when they have their own parenting deals (or other situations) to deal with outside of work. It’s hard to find the right balance. I’m curious — what’s the line for all of you?

My 1.5 year old son recently befriended a little boy who is 2.5 years old. My husband and the other dad were hanging out watching the two boys play and the other boy pushed my son over a toy. My husband mentioned it to me the next day, but he didn’t make it sound too concerning so I didn’t get concerned. I know pushing is developmentally appropriate for a 2.5 year old and the other dad intervened by talking to his son, etc. The following day, the boy pushed my son again and the boy’s mom asked my husband and son to leave to show her son the consequence of pushing, etc.

I met the son for the first time yesterday with the dad when they came over to play in my son’s room. I saw the boy push my son three times— the third time was so hard that I had to catch my son from hitting his head on the ground. The dad said something to the boy each time and after the third time, he took his son home. Before they left though, my son picked up a toy and tried to hit the boy on the head with it, which he’s never done before. As the dad and boy were leaving, the other boy hugged my son and gave him a kiss without prompting. This morning, my son kept smacking me in the face, which he has done before, but never to this amount.

Based on my husband’s and my conversations with the dad, we got the impression that the boy is struggling with the same problems at school and the parents are really making an effort to socialize him with other neighborhood kids his age because he is an only child.

I was talking to my nanny about it, who sees most of the interactions between the two boys during the day, and she described the boy’s personality as “not normal” because he seems to be overly aggressive. I don’t give her “not normal” comment too much weight because it’s unproductively judgmental.

I’m really torn about what to do. The parents don’t seem to be the problem because they were definitely making an effort to step in when they saw the behavior, although I don’t know how consistent they are when we’re not around. I’m also very sympathetic to the parents who have a child who is doing the hitting. It has to be hard and isolating to be on that side of the problem. I also believe it takes a village to raise a child, and we all need a village, including the parents of a child who is pushing other kids. On the other hand, I’m not going to allow another child to socialize himself on my son. My son has a very sweet temperament and I don’t want him to lose that or to make his kind nature a target for bullying. And I feel like my 1.5 year is still too young to really talk to him about what’s going on, how he can stop the other boy’s behavior, etc.

Any thoughts on how to frame the issue in my mind and tips on what to do in the future?