Organizing Thursday: Bath Toy Organizer

I am feeling gloomy this morning. I am 39 and TTC child #2. My AMH levels just came back as low, at .78. (The normal low is 1.0.) Please send me hopeful vibes.

We have VERY limited daycare options in our area, and have been happy with our center. It is head and shoulders above the competition in terms of quality of curriculum, safety and security, menu planning, etc. DS has been cared for with kindness and respect, and he seems to enjoy himself. However, I have one little nagging worry and I’m not sure if I’m worrying about nothing. DS graduated to a new class at daycare at the end of December, along with several other little ones. Daycare has an app that the teachers use to check in with the parents throughout the day, and they often send pictures of the children through the app. However, at least half the time, the pictures they send aren’t of DS at all- they’re group shots that he’s not in or solo shots of another certain little boy. Honestly, I mostly find it funny, but on the other hand, I do find it a little bothersome that more than a month after joining this new class, the teachers are obviously confusing DS with another child. It makes me wonder how “personal” the care is in this new class, and also question the accuracy of the information we are getting about his day-to-day activities through the app. Probably worth mentioning that DS and the other boy are the same race, which is not the same race as the teachers or most of their classmates. However, other than being the same race, age, and gender, I don’t think they look very much alike, especially to someone who cares for them every day. Am I way off base here? Would you address this, and if so, how?

My 20 month old is overweight. Our ped isn’t actively concerned, but did gently mention her high BMI at her 18 month visit, and that we should keep an eye on it. She’s my 3rd. My first weighed the exact same at this age, but was taller. My second, who was the same height as my third, weighed about 6 lbs less! Second also has a BMI of <20 and always has and is a picky eater. It feels crazy to be concerned about weight this early on, but my youngest is just built with the appetite/intake of my oldest, but the height of my middle.*

The issue is that my 3rd LOVES food and always wants to eat what her siblings are eating. She eats everything in front of her, then if we aren't careful, sneaks over to her siblings' plates and eats that, too. We joke that she's like the family dog, begging for scraps at the table–but it's not really funny. My oldest is 7 and is extremely active, so eats for fuel and eats a LOT. My second we basically have to jam in every possible calorie so she doesn't fall over when the wind blows ;).

My strategy so far is to give her lots of quantity of less calorie-dense food, like fruits and veggies, since she seems to be all about quantity/volume (she will eat whatever is in front of her), and things that take time to eat (like cereal vs pancakes for breakfast) since she seems to enjoy the social/act of eating itself. We've also taken to wrapping up dinner and then DH taking youngest out of the room to start bath while the older kids have seconds/dessert. Special Daddy Time is a treat and just takes food out of the equation. Same at breakfast- the kids wake up at different times, so we try and stagger breakfast in a way that means Youngest can have yogurt or eggs or whatever while Oldest has cereal and Middle has 4 pancakes.

If she were my only kiddo, this would be so much easier. But it's really hard with older kids in the house, especially ones that need to eat MORE, not LESS.

I think another angle is that she is not yet 2, so she isn't as active as the other kids are. She's also the 3rd so she's not as active as my oldest was at that age because we tend to schlep her around to the older kids' activities. But she runs around outside and inside with them, she gets in the pool withe the family (but can't swim yet so just sorta floats around in her puddle jumper or bubble) and as she gets a bit older we will continue to encourage her to be active.

*I know she's not even two, but it's pretty clear from all 3 kids' growth charts that they are in their "steady state" percentiles: my oldest is in the 90th for height, middle and youngest are 50th. All 3 have been in those exact percentiles since 3 months old.

We’re in a weird predicament: our daughter, who will be four in April, is fully trained for #1 and is trained for #2… as long as she is completely naked on the bottom. She was a little traumatized by some earlier constipation that necessitated an enema, but a few months of miralax has made it so she isn’t scared any more and she goes 2-4 times per day now. But if we put her in a pull-up or undies, or even just pants with no undies, she’ll poop in them rather than going to the potty. She doesn’t seem to have any trouble taking pants/undies on or off– she dresses herself fine in the mornings. And it doesn’t seem to matter whether we are home or out– she uses public potties to pee in (though she admittedly does not like the “surprise” potties that have automatic flush). I did hammer in that we could NOT poop in the pool at swim lessons, and one time she did use that public toilet to poop even though she had a swim diaper and swim suit on… She’s always sad and acts really ashamed when she does go in her pull-up/underwear, and she accepts that we have to leave the playplace or whatever as a consequence. But we are at about 0% success when we’re wearing pants and 100% when she’s wearing nothing on the bottom. I’m just missing that intermediate step to success!

How long did it take for you to lose the baby weight post partum for your second vs your first? I feel like the weight just slid off with the first and I was back to my pre pregnancy weight plus 5 lbs within 4 months. Now with my second, it’s not seeming so easy. I gained about the same amount with both. I guess it probably has something to do with being 41 now vs 37 but I don’t feel that different so . . . does it just take longer with the second or am I kidding myself?!