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Updated: Apr 25, 2021 107 Comments · by

Makeup & Beauty Monday: AHA-BHA Acne Clearing Gel

Recent Recs

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Peter Thomas AHA-BHA Acne Clearing Gel

I found this product through Instagram beauty influencer @kathleenjenningsbeauty. She posts frequently about it and mentions when it goes on sale on various websites. One sale was pretty good, so I jumped at the chance to try it. I had a big, under-the-skin pimple happening on my chin when it arrived, and it didn’t do anything to stop it from erupting. However, it did dry it out much more quickly and I have found that it is fading the red mark where the pimple used to be, as well as old scarring from other pimples. I thought I would have to live with those marks on my chin forever, so I am incredibly happy with this product. For those of you who, like me, have old acne scars, adult zits (sigh), and T-zone oiliness with combination skin, this is worth the money! It is available at Dermstore for $54. AHA-BHA Acne Clearing Gel

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Sales of note for 11.28.23…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
  • Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything + free shipping
  • ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
  • Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
  • Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
  • Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
  • Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!

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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!

About April

April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.

Comments

  1. Fallen says

    Getting our daughter a bike for her 7th birthday. Does anyone have a bike they really like?

      • Realist says

        Definitely +1! Even if they don’t have “open hours” give the local shop a call and see if they can help or suggest another local shop in the area.

      • Anon says

        The local bike shop near us sold my husband the wrong bike. It’s way too big and heavy for our kid (even though he took her there and swore “she can pedal it around the store”). It was $300 so I couldn’t just pick up the 14” bike she needed and she had to go back to using training wheels after more than a year of speeding around on her 12” balance bike.

        I’m still FURIOUS with both my husband and the bike shop and it’s been six months. So your mileage may very.

        Anyway a seven year old needs a 16” bike. Most are going to have pedal not handbrakes. If you want handbrakes you need an expensive bike from Woom or Stryder or a cheap one from Decathlon.

        • Bike size says

          My 5 year old (average size girl) is pedaling around on a Specialized 20” with no training wheels – would be careful about going 16”!

    • anon says

      Following. My almost 7 yo is also in need of a bigger bike but all of our local bike shops are closed. We bike regularly as a family so we’re comfortable in investing in a nicer bike. She’s also ready for a bike with gears, as we often bike a 10 mile loop with significant hills.

      For those looking for a bike for younger kids, we’ve enjoyed the Byk 250 and then the Byk 350, both on Amazon. They have held up great to a ton of use.

    • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

      Definitely check with your local bike shop if they are open. My kids have had a series of Specialized Riprocks and we have been very happy with them. We have had sizes 16, 20 and 24. Our local bike shop has a deal where if you purchase through them you can trade the old bike in for some % of the next one, which is nice when they’re moving up quickly. For the next round we will probably get them Cleary bikes (kids bikes from Surly). Caveat: they are currently riding probably 20+ miles a week and my husband and I are both mountain bikers, so we are taking them on easy trails regularly.

      • Cate says

        My kids have specialized rip rocks and they’ve been great. Not sure we needed it at 16″ (that kid’s still on training wheels) but the 20″ one has really gotten some miles on hers!

      • Cb says

        I’m UK based and we have a bike hire service which allows you to swap out your bike when your kid has outgrown it. We just got our first bike (Frog balance bike) and I was so impressed with the quality and loved that I wasn’t creating more waste or something I’d need to sell or pass along. Maybe something similar exists in the US?

      • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

        Also our experience on sizing: 16″ was perfect for my tall 5.5 year old to learn to ride without training wheels. After about a week on that she moved up to her sister’s old 20″ which was sitting idle and she’s happily zooming around on that one now. The 20″ riprock has both pedal and handbrake which is kind of cool. The 24″ that my 8 year old rides has gears and handbrake only. I think the sizing does depend some on the kid.

    • Anonymous says

      Two Wheeling Tots has pretty comprehensive reviews for various budgets and riding conditions.

    • Pogo says

      REI also has a decent house brand for kid’s bikes. They may be available to chat by phone? Not sure.

      • Anonymous says

        We went through one REI bike and two entry-level Treks. The REI bike was fine, but the Treks were much lighter and easier to handle than the REI brand in the same size.

    • gouda says

      No advice but what a great gift! I vividly remember getting a birthday bike at a similar age. It was a light blue 3 speed with coaster brakes and I road it back and forth to school every day and to visit neighborhood friends (it was the 1980s).

    • wc says

      Highly recommend a Woom bike for the first bike. Very well designed for kids. Expensive but my kids have loved them.

  2. Pogo says

    This brand always makes me think of Hilton. What I wouldn’t give to be at my favorite Hilton right now, having room service after a day of speaking exclusively to other adults. ahhhh…. someday.

    • Cb says

      Oh my goodness, me too! Even a Travelodge would be fine. I didn’t realize how much I relied on my every-other-month travel as a refreshing break and an opportunity to catch up on work. I’d get Yo Sushi to go + a sweet treat and read novels in the evening.

  3. Clementine says

    Let me start by saying I am very well aware of how fortunate and privileged I am. The type of work I do really drives home that point.

    With that being said, one of my true escapes was planning vacations/trips. Even if it’s a staycation, I like to plan what we’ll do, look at restaurants we could go to, think about little ways to make it fun. It’s actually one of the tools I use to manage my anxiety: when I start to obsess, I will give myself permission to obsess over a plan for a detail of a future vacation.

    …I can’t do that now and it’s making me sad. And moreso – I don’t know when I will be able to feel like it’s good and responsible to take such a trip.

    • Pogo says

      No advice but I am right there with you. We cancelled our spring trip to Paris, and I hadn’t even finished fully obsessing and planning every detail of that! (which is maybe a good thing?).

      We are letting ourselves dream of a 10-year anniversary trip in Fall of 2021. That *should* be safe, right? Ugh, who knows.

    • Anonymous says

      I’d probably still do this and save everything for future trips. My guess is that my family might take some driving trips as regional travel becomes more accepted, assuming that will happen later this summer and into early fall. So I might research some new places to visit in my region later this summer.

    • Anon says

      I feel you. That said, I think we can find different kinds of travel to enjoy. I don’t expect to be taking international plane flights until 2021 at the earliest, but I expect to be doing road trips to parks/outdoorsy areas this summer. So maybe focus on planning something more local and/or outdoorsy?

    • Anonymous says

      I’ve been “planning” vacations I would never really take. Kamchatka. Yukon kayaking. Hiking in the Alps. It’s soothing.

    • Anon says

      Do we think that local driving trips will be feasible this summer? I’m in the midAtlantic and would love to be able to drive the 4 hours to see my sister’s family (or mid them halfway for a long weekend somewhere), but I can’t decide if I shouldn’t even contemplate such things because I’ll be disappointed when they can’t happen.

      • Anon says

        Trips that involve driving but staying in hotels and going to restaurants seem likely but not certain to be feasible (in the sense of safe/enjoyable, not just legal) soon. I’d go see my family now if they were in driving distance, assuming your state no longer has a shelter in place order. In fact, my parents are driving here next week (my parent’s state never had a stay at home order and my state’s order was just lifted).

        • Anon says

          Yeah, we’re in Pennsylvania and Maryland, both of which are still under stay-at-home orders, though PA may be lifted soon.

      • Anon says

        My parents and sister may come to visit in 2 weeks to see my daughter – they are a couple hour drive away. All parties have been fully in lock down for 7+ weeks now (including only delivery grocery shopping) so we’re going to try to make it happen.

    • agh says

      I’m still hoping we can go to Colorado this summer. We COULD drive but would rather fly (am in Texas) – staying in a rental home and wouldn’t be going out much. Does that seem like wishful thinking???

    • lala says

      I’m just here to say . . . same. Travel is a huge part of how DH and I connect. Planning, getting deals, etc. With our spring Paris trip cancelled and no new trip on the horizon it has been hard.

    • Anonymous says

      Yeah, we canceled an April trip to Europe to see my parents and I’m sad that I have no idea when it’s next going to be feasible for my kids to see their grandparents. This summer is definitely out, but I’m not even sure if we’ll be able to fly transAtlantically over Christmas or not.

    • Anon says

      It is a first world problem, but I feel the same way. Our 2020 summer trips are canceled except my mom still wants to fly to our family vacation home in August which I feel very iffy about it…if it were just me and DH and our kid I might be ok with it, but my mom is 68 and will be going home to my dad who is 70 and has health conditions so it just feels like a bad idea even though we could social distance very well once we get to the destination. I guess we’ll see what the situation is like in July. My husband has a conference in a really beautiful place in October 2021 that we were going to turn into a family vacation and I was so excited about it, but I feel like I can’t even get my hopes up about that. I hate not knowing the end date (not just with respect to travel but also for things like going back to school…I would like a date certain even if it’s very far in the future).

  4. bike trailer recs? says

    Following the first comment, recs for a bike trailer? Would like to be able to put a 1 and 3 year old in it. We’ve been biking a ton – hoping we can keep it up post-quarantine!

      • Beth @ Parent Lightly says

        We had a Burley Honeybee I believe. We bought it used and it was good. Obviously it’s a beast to tow with two kids, especially if you add gear. But you’ll get your workout in! Ours also converted to a stroller which was nice for the few times I wanted a double stroller.

      • Anon says

        We also have a Burley Bee and like it. I got it at a consignment sale. Trailers are things that people tend to buy with the best intentions and grow out of, so there’s a STRONG secondhand market out there for them for 50-70% off. If you buy one secondhand make sure you also get a hitch bracket that attaches to your bike – they make turning way easier.

      • Spirograph says

        I have a Burley Encore. It fit a 2 and 4 year old in a pinch, but my kids are giants and I wouldn’t try to cram the 3 and 5 year olds in there together now. If you don’t have a double stroller, the stroller conversion is super convenient (wheel just flips up to attach to your bike, no tools needed). We got a ton of use out of that for a couple years, it was more comfortable than a pulling a wagon for going to and from the playground.

        Agreed there is a strong second hand market. I bought mine new a few years ago, and will probably sell it in another year or two. I expect to get about 50% of the original price for it. Right now it’s still a good size for either the 3 or 5 year old to ride in, solo (they trade off with the trail-along on long bike rides).

        Burley sells infant inserts for their trailers, if you’re concerned about that for the 1 year old. I think we started pulling the kids in it around 18-24 months, so I never bought one. There’s both a 5 point harness and a lap belt, though, so as long as you tighten the straps appropriately, the kid should be pretty secure.

    • anon says

      We love our bike trailer and have gotten a ton of use out of it over the last 3 years. It’s nothing special–we picked it up from Target on clearance. There’s no reason to spend a bunch of money. Just get something good enough, and go bigger if you have that option. Our almost 4 yo still rides in the trailer for our longer rides and we’ll want that option for at least another year until she is riding confidently on two wheels.

      That said, I wouldn’t necessarily put a 1 yo in a bike trailer unless you can 100% guarantee that the kid will sit still and not try to climb out. Our trailer has straps, but nothing that a 1 yo couldn’t get out of if motivated. We kept our kids in seats on our bike until they were big enough to be trusted.

      • OP says

        Good call. Well probably leave her in her seat that sits on the bike for a while! Just thinking down the road…

  5. AnotherAnon says

    Despite the child care chaos, I really enjoy WFH. I get a lot more done, work-wise and personally. There’s about a zero percent chance I will be allowed to WFH after May. Should I bother talking to my boss? Or start looking for other jobs? Or just suck it up that going into the office when it’s 100% unnecessary is part of the package. My job is fine otherwise.

    • SC says

      I would go back to the office and wait until childcare is in place to talk about WFH. In a few months of being back in the office, you might be able to bring up the fact that you were really productive at home and would like a day to concentrate. If there’s zero chance of that working, and WFH is important to you, then look for other jobs.

    • Ifiknew says

      I feel the same way. My job does not require the office at all, wondering if I can ask to do this all but maybe one day of week

      • Anonymous says

        This is so interesting. Granted, my company was trending agile in many locations to begin with, but the execs are all gushing about how great it’s been that we haven’t missed a beat with 100% WFH and seeing dollar signs in real estate savings. Our CEO and Chief of HR have strongly hinted that global WFH options are likely to continue/be encouraged. Recent company survey results look like probably a 2-3 day/week on-site expectation.

  6. anne-on says

    After many (many) issues I’ve decided it’s time to cut off contact with my parents. They only see my kiddo about 1-2 times a year, and he’s (obviously) not close with them but we do anticipate some questions from him. I plan to raise this with my therapist but are there online scripts about this anyone has found helpful? Looking for advice on messaging, but pls know that my decision is made and I don’t need advice to ‘reconsider’.

    • Anonymous says

      How old is he? If he’s under 5, chances are he won’t notice or ask that much.

      • Anonymous says

        +1. I have been no-contact with a parent since before I was married. My child was in early elementary school before she started asking why she only had one grandpa and other kids had at least two.

    • anon says

      Following, and my sympathies. DS is still a baby and has never met my mother, and hopefully never will. But eventually he’s going to ask why, and ugh . . . it’s so hard to plan for this not knowing when he’s going to start clocking that other kids have multiple grandparents.

    • Anonymous says

      If your kid is very young they’ll forget about them very quickly. If elementary school aged they might have caught on to the tension during the visits. That might be worth talking to your therapist about more than what to say to them about no longer seeing them.

      FWIW, one of my parents has been absent for about 20 years…basically ghosted me (although friended me on FB a few years ago and sometimes “likes” my pictures!). But a few years ago one of that parent’s siblings ambushed me with a surprise visit. Kids were 6 & 8 at the time and we introduced this person as my parent (but not “grandparent”). Parent basically ignored my kids and my husband and was super awkward with me. The kids have very rarely mention this interaction to me and only sometimes do they ask why they only have 1 grandparent on my side. It’s easy enough for me to deflect by emphasizing how lucky they are to have that 1 grandparent’s undivided attention and then talking about many they have on DH’s side (4 grands thanks to divorce & remarriage!). Good luck OP.

    • anne-on says

      Thanks everyone. Early elementary school aged. He has/had noticed and asked about it in the past ‘why don’t grandma and grandpa come see me any more?’ as he is not the ‘favored’ grandchild (I’m not the favored child, so yea.) We’ve talked a lot about how lucky he is that he has lots of people who DO love him and that it’s sad for THEM not to get to be around his awesome self. But we were still doing the 1-2x/yearly holiday gatherings in large groups as they like to play happy family/I didn’t want to avoid family I DO like. But it is just getting harder to grin and bear it as they actively slight my kid (slighting me I can deal with – lots of practice!). Not to mention the behavior they model is actively bad (racist, alcohol issues, rage directed at each other and usually at kids past the ‘cute’ age, etc.) so I think we’re just done. It stinks as it will definitely mean less extended family contact but I really don’t see a good way around that.

  7. anon says

    I am running out of ideas for keeping my preschooler occupied, especially while I’m working. Any ideas for stuff that DOESN’T require a ton of oversight from a parent? Everything online looks so … labor-intensive for the parent. I am past that point of patience.

    • anne-on says

      Magnatiles are great, my kid got a LOT of use out of the hotwheels ‘villages’ (hotwheels city) at that age. They take up a TON of floor space but it is kind of like a dollhouse for boys.
      Playkitchen, or a dollhouse would be my other suggestions if you can swing them!

    • Anon says

      Independent playing hits for our 3yo are magnatiles, duplos, play kitchen, dolls + accessories, and little animals. She’ll also happily run around in the backyard for ages looking under rocks, digging in the dirt, etc, if your household is set up such that you can work while also having your kid outdoors.

    • SC says

      I think it really depends on your kid’s interests. My son plays mostly independently, for long periods of time, with Legos and his train set. He also can keep himself occupied for a while with art supplies and outdoor play if he’s in the mood. We also let him play games on the ipad. He’s not really into pretend play, except for pushing vehicles around, which he can do for hours.

      I think the main thing is to set some boundaries and then let them self-direct. A 4- or 5-year-old isn’t going to sit down with a prescribed activity and quietly complete it by themselves. But as many times as I hear and ignore, “I just don’t know what to doooo,” I’ve noticed that Kiddo is doing something within 2 minutes. We tell him where he needs to be, whether he can have screens, how available we are to help, and sometimes how loud he can be.

    • anon. says

      One thing that takes no time to set up but bought us a lot of play time – pouring station. Got funnel and a bunch of different pouring implements from the kitchen, put them in a huge tupperware, and let him just pour into and out of different things. The next day I added food coloring to keep it interesting. The next day I added his “sea creatures” collection of tiny cheapo animal figurines.

      • FVNC says

        Relatedly, our kids will play by themselves for 30+ min in the bathtub as long as they have various cups and pitchers to pour from/into. They can’t be totally unsupervised (ages 6 and 3) but a parent can sit close by working on a laptop while they play. This may be effective because we usually shower them, so bath still seems like a “treat.”

    • Anonymous says

      Oobleck bought us a solid 60 minutes – it’s just cornstarch and water. It gets messy but easy to wipe up.

    • octagon says

      Paint by sticker books are good, if your kid has the patience for them. We’ve also gotten some of those reusable sticker books. Etch-a-sketch. I’m thinking about getting a Lite Brite but don’t remember them being so expensive!

    • ifiknew says

      i am amazed your 3 year olds can play independently. My daughter turns 3 next month and is such a barnacle, she gets anxious when she’s not in the same room as me and even then does not seem to know how to occupy herself but instead always asking me to role play etc. It’s incredibly frustrating because I get absolutely noting done

      • SC says

        I commented above, but my son just turned 5. Expectations for 3 year olds are dramatically lower. Still, my kid’s at a stage where he can play independently but also gets lonely (and who can blame him since we’re the only people he sees). He’s not anxious if we’re in a different room, but he’s usually much happier if we’re doing a separate activity in the same room or general area.

    • Anon says

      My almost 3 YO gets a steady diet of TV time (Fancy Nancy, Sesame Street, Disney movies) mixed with tablet time (mostly Blippi or the PBS kids games). We get a decent amount of independent play out of train tracks (we have a couple sets of brios), old-fashioned wooden blocks, megablocks, little people (farmhouse, castle, bus, airplane, trucks) and occasionally coloring. Sometimes I lay a towel down on the table and let her go to town with the little people (make sure they don’t have holes in the bottom – some do, some don’t) and a bunch of measuring cups in a bowl full of water. Things that require parental involvement for her – often coloring, puzzles, playdoh, vinyl stickers and magnatiles (only because she is a chewer and so I don’t like giving them to her without supervision), but YMMV.

  8. Anon says

    following up on the above thread about vacations – when do people think they might feel safe flying again with their kids? by themselves? i honestly am not sure how i feel. a part of me wants to wait until there is a vaccine, but we live flying distance from all of our family. i have two toddlers who touch everything, and while i know kids are low risk, i don’t want to bring it to a grandparent (especially since another grandparent passed away earlier this year – non Covid related)

    • Anonymous says

      We’re flying distance from my sister and from DH’s family. I don’t think we’ll see them again until a vaccine is in place. I wish is weren’t that way because it looks like DH’s niece will be 18 months old before we meet her.

      • AnonFirstTimeMama says

        This. I’m pregnant with our first child, and due in October. Our closest family is an 11 hour drive/2.5 hour flight. It’s very surreal to think that there is a very high probability that none of my family will see me pregnant, and possibly won’t meet our daughter until she is walking/talking.

        • Anon says

          I’m sorry, that sounds hard :/ I think if everyone has been self-isolating a driving visit is pretty safe, and for me it would be worth driving 11 hours so my family could meet my new baby. I also think if the people flying are all adults, flying is relatively safe too. The issue for people with kids is that when you take toddlers and preschoolers on planes they touch everything and then touch their mouths. Although I will say there’s new evidence coming out that kids are not likely to get infected at all (as opposed to just not likely to get seriously ill) and thus aren’t major sources of transmission. Emily Oster just did a round up about it: https://emilyoster.substack.com/p/can-kids-transmit-the-virus

          • Anon 2:03 says

            I agree with this. Your parents may want to do the drive and if they self-isolate before hand and just stop for gas and drive-thru food the risk is quite low.

            My sister is a 6 hr flight (one week drive) and in laws are in Europe so no driving option. I’d definitely consider long drives to see family but only if less than 18 hours of driving.

    • Anonymous says

      Honestly, I’d be ready this fall if there are places open to visit. Domestic only. But we already had Covid in our house, so I strongly suspect everyone in my household has antibodies. Since it doesn’t appear to be quickly mutating, I’d be willing to risk that we’re safe for a while. But it’ll just depend what is being recommended for society as a whole. And my husband is much more cautious and more of a rule follower than me. So since he has to weigh in, it could be a while. Selfishly, I’m mourning the loss of trips to visit my parents at their place in FL (via air travel from the Midwest). My mom has risk factors beyond age alone. At some point she’ll want to visit us, and I’ll defer to her judgment. She’s the one at risk.

    • Anonymous says

      What you going to do if a vaccine takes 5 years? 18 months is a fantasy.

      • avocado says

        Flying is a luxury, not a necessity. I have literally never been on a plane with my parents in my entire life. You’ll live if you have to take a five-year break from flying with your child. Call your parents on the phone.

        • Anon says

          This is cruel. Flying is a luxury, but it’s also a luxury that most people have enjoyed at some point, and it’s ok to recognize that many people would be devastated about not visiting their parents/grandparents for 5 years. It’s absurd to suggest that calling people on the phone is an adequate substitute. We’re getting more and more evidence every day about the negative mental and emotional health impacts of this, especially for young children who can’t fully process what’s going, and the elderly, who may be struggling emotionally and cognitively to begin with. Preventing virus deaths is only one aspect of figuring out how to move forward as a society.

          • Anonymous says

            +1. avocado, it sounds like you and your family all live on the same continent. Surely you realize that many people do not, and that sea travel is not a good alternative.

          • Anonymous says

            So thoughtless and cruel. No one is making you fly avocado. But many of us are going to.

            I’ll be flying as soon as I can. No. It won’t be risk free.

        • Anonymous says

          Omg. I can’t believe you thought it was okay to post this Avocado. How cruel! My parents are likely going to be dead in 5 years. I cannot drive to see them. I will be flying. It’s nice you don’t need to.

          Honestly stunned by you. Be best.

          • Anonymous says

            Same. My father has said to me verbatim, “a life without seeing my granddaughter is not a life worth living.” He’s in his early 70s and based on overall health and family history is unlikely to be alive in 5 years, Covid or no Covid. We’re sure as shit not going to withhold my daughter from him for years just to have him die of non-Covid causes. But my parents also have DNR orders and my mom has told me she wants me to kill her if she gets dementia, so clearly they’re quality over quantity people. I think a lot of Americans have a fixation on prolonging life at all costs and my family doesn’t share that view. It may sound morbid to others but I really appreciate my parents’ ability to think about this stuff and make their views known, and they get to decide how they spend the last few years of their life, not me.

          • avocado says

            Actually my mother is a flight away too. We just won’t be able to see her for a while. We aren’t going to be able to have a memorial for my MIL, who died of Covid, because we don’t think it’s worth the risk. If you want to risk your family’s lives, go right ahead.

          • Anon says

            I’m very sorry for your loss. But surely you understand that a pretty sizeable number of grandparent-age folks are not going to be here in 5 years anyway, and people can reasonably make the decision they’d rather take the slight risk of getting Covid than go years without seeing their children and grandchildren (and possibly never see them again). No one is forcing you to see your long-distance family members if you feel like it’s safer and better for everyone to stay home, but you were telling people they were wrong for making the opposite choice. And the “You’ll live if you have to take a five-year break from flying with your child. Call your parents on the phone.” was just casually cruel. Some of us see our parents multiple times per year and the idea of going five years without them is unimaginable. If you’re willing to go five years without seeing your mom, that’s fine, but it’s really not reasonable to impose that choice on everyone.

      • Anon 2:03 says

        If a vaccine takes 5 years, we’d probably have adults visit but I wouldn’t fly with kids. I might fly with my kids in 5 years as they’d be 11 and 16 then so more reliable on not putting hands in their mouths. I’d fly to visit by sister wearing a mask and MIL would probably come visit us. It would be hard but plenty of families go years without seeing each other for economic reasons.

        • Katy says

          Exactly…. it is one thing to fly with a 2 year old and quite another to fly with a 7 year old, and a totally different case gain to fly with a 12 year old who can wear a mask / understand consequences etc. Also – the longer it takes to get a vaccine, the more people will have had it and have built up antibodies, so the less risk of devastating consequences as a result of travel (to the general public – specific individuals will obviously have a case by case risk). Today I worry that I could accidentally become a symptom-less super spreader if I am not careful. That is the risk that goes down over time.

          I plan to travel ~15 hours by car to visit family this summer (fortunately we also have family half way to break it up in one direction or another) – but will wait a little longer. Will probably go towards the end of expected quarantine (e.g. before the LO goes back daycare) so that we know that all the parties involved in the visits have been self-isolating.

          My parents (who are very health but in their mid-sixties have already announced their intention to visit us if we don’t come out by July – or maybe even if we do).

          Now I just need to get the hubby fully on board with the road trip with very limited stops.

      • OP says

        i don’t know. that is why i was asking other people. i currently have 22 month old twins who will def not keep masks on and touch everything. i cannot imagine going 5 years without seeing our families as last year we saw my parents 6 times. when we had to move to where we currently live, what made it bearable was the idea that they were only a flight away. (i realize it is a privilege to be able to travel this much) i already hated being a flight away, particularly since it is not a quick flight, and now i dislike it even more, but due to jobs moving is not realistic for us. my father passed away recently and i cannot imagine not seeing my mother for 5 months (the only time i did that was when i studied abroad in college and i think it was 4 months), let alone 5 years. Like others, I think I am more comfortable with the grandparents coming to us, then us going to them, but they are also higher risk, though other than age, have no health issues

        • Anon says

          In your shoes, I would let your mom come to you rather than trying to travel to her with twins under 2. If the person flying is an adult who can wear a mask and gloves and not touch their face, I don’t really think flying is a very high-risk activity. Most airlines are requiring everyone to wear masks, and they have good air filtration systems, so the risk is really picking something up off a surface and then putting your hands in your nose, mouth or eyes. Your mom is much (much) less likely to do that than your kids.

      • Anon says

        18 months is not a fantasy. Huge incentives beyond what we’ve seen in the past. Scientists around the world are working on this. Already several are on the fast track.

        • Anon says

          Not the person you’re responding to, but I’ve spoken to experts about this for work, and most of them agree 3-4 years is a much more realistic timeline (with the understanding that even that isn’t guaranteed). The science of vaccine development was hugely accelerated, but it’s hard to accelerate clinical trials and safety follow-ups (normally 12-18 months for each of those stages) and it’s also unclear that we can manufacture several billion doses in a year and a half, even if we proceed with manufacturing before a vaccine is proven safe and effective (which we are). Fauci and other experts who have said 18 months are obviously under pressure from the Trump administration. If you read articles where experts not affiliated with the federal government are quoted, they all say ~3-4 years, maaaaaybe 2 years if everything goes PERFECTLY.

          • Anon says

            Also worth noting that the previous record for vaccine development was 4 years, so 2 years would be cutting the previous record in HALF. And yes, I know that was a long time ago and science has advanced by leaps and bounds, but advances in science don’t really speed up the clinical trial process.

          • Anonymous says

            And if you read the international news, you’ll see that many credible sources in other locations think that 18 months – 2 years may be doable. Trump’s comments about a vaccine this year are a fantasy but Fall 2021 is not. It’s not guaranteed but it’s not pie in the sky either.

          • Anon says

            The FDA can authorize emergency use without waiting for the full 12 months of safety data, and I expect they’ll do that as soon as one vaccine looks effective and hasn’t killed anyone who got it. Whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate, but I think Trump is actually not off base in saying we’ll have a vaccine (at least for the elderly) by late 2020/early 2021.

    • Anon says

      We’re driving distance from my parents and I think I’d feel differently if we weren’t since seeing my in-laws isn’t something I enjoy and I miss my BFF and her kids but can go a couple years without seeing them. My husband is a professor so we can basically only travel in the summer. Our summer 2020 trips were mostly in May and June and have already been canceled. We hope to do some driving trips this summer if things stay stable or improve. For 2021, it’s so hard to predict, but ultimately if things are like they are now (which is such a big if – they could easily be so much worse or so much better) – I think I would be comfortable going on planes since our immediate family is low risk. I would be hesitant about visiting elderly people, but ultimately believe it’s their decision to make (and we stay in hotels when we visit my in-laws so we could try to have socially-distanced visiting). Also by summer 2021 my kid will be 3.5 (which is kinda crazy to think about!) and hopefully better able to not touch stuff/not randomly put her hands in her mouth. We’ve been working hard on no fingers in mouth the last few weeks with moderate success. Our 10 year anniversary is in early 2022 and we’re supposed to celebrate alone in an overwater bungalow in Tahiti and all I can say is, one way or another, that better happen. ;)

    • SC says

      I don’t know about with kids, especially small kids, because kids touch everything and can’t reliably wear a mask.

      I’ve rescheduled a vacation for November 2020. It’s a long-distance flight. I’m not sure if I’ll feel safe taking that flight, but I’ll make the decision closer to November. My original flight wasn’t canceled, and I have to use the credit by the end of 2020 under current airline policies, so there’s no harm in making the reservation now and canceling in November. Part of me thinks it won’t be any safer to fly in November, it might even be more dangerous, but by November it will feel safer because we will adjust to a new level of risk.

      • fratoclt says

        My husband is English and it is breaking his heart that it looks like we are not going this year to see his family who are still in the UK. He is very close to his parents and they are not in great health. His sister doesn’t have the means to come visit us under normal situations, so the onus is on us to fly there. We have a 3 yr old and I have no idea when we will feel comfortable enough to travel that kind of distance.

    • Spirograph says

      My MIL is still planning to fly to visit us in August of this year. We don’t have any flying vacations planned anymore (cancelled Spring Break, see no reason to schedule anything until the future is a little more certain), but I will be driving to visit my mom once the stay home order is lifted, and if there’s no summer camp and DH and I still don’t have facetime requirements, we’ll probably also drive to visit my dad and FIL at some point over the summer. They both live far enough away that we’d normally fly, but we don’t have the time constraints we normally do either, so I’d just as soon save $$.

      I have a higher risk tolerance than many others here, but I don’t think flying is terribly unsafe for adults who are taking reasonable precautions, especially when flights have limited capacity and everyone’s wearing a mask. I certainly would account for the covid situation at my destination, but the flight itself won’t be a deal breaker for me once the current public health travel warnings are lifted. I’m more concerned about my kids being asymptomatic spreaders than with them getting sick, so I probably won’t fly with them until testing is good enough that I can be reasonably sure they aren’t Typhoid Mary.

    • Anon4this says

      My father nearly died this past weekend from complications due to cancer. I’ll be going to see him soon – maybe in the next few weeks and talking my kiddo. Basically as soon as my state’s stay at home order is lifter or modified to allow me to do this without having to quarantine on my return. It would be easier to fly, but we’ll drive. Driving probably will take 15 hours with stops to make it doable for kiddo. He’s my only living parent, I’m an only child, and this is his only grandchild. All of the rest of my extended family lives across an ocean so they won’t be able to see him and I can’t see them.

      Everybody’s circumstances are different. If someone chooses to fly and you don’t feel comfortable then you shouldn’t fly but don’t judge their choice.

  9. AwayEmily says

    Any idea where to find red leggings in size 4/5? Primary is way too slim for my kid, as is Hanna’s “slim legging,” and those are the only ones I’ve been able to find. Maybe red is just out of season?

  10. Anonymous says

    What are you favorite grippy socks for a 1 year old? The ones I bought only seem to have grippies in the middle, so we’re still slipping around on the hardwood floors.

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