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Everywhere I turn on the internet, it seems like this lip balm is being recommended or talked about. Normally, as far as lip products are concerned, I am not easily convinced to put them on my wish list. The last lip product I bought was Burt’s Bees tinted chapstick, and my son dropped it (while open) under my car in the daycare parking lot. It has yet to be replaced. However, this interview convinced me to try this one. The description of being like your lip color but “turned up a little bit” completely sold it to me. The lip balm is $34 and available at Nordstrom in several colors. Dior Addict Lip Glow Reviving Lip Balm This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
At my daughter’s 15-month checkup, we found that she had actually lost a little bit of weight (6 or 9oz I think) since her one-year appointment. I’m trying to remain calm and the obvious reason is a week-long stomach flu followed by a week-long high fever. She basically ate nothing those two weeks and very visibly lost a lot of weight. It has been about two weeks since she’s been better though and we were hoping she would have recovered faster. The other issue is she doesn’t eat that much! And she’s picky! I’m trying to get her to eat more fats and protein but her main favorites are yogurt and raspberries, which if what I would eat if I was trying to lose weight…The doctor said we should offer her a variety of foods and that she will eat what she needs to be healthy. In retrospect, I’m super annoyed about this because obviously we feed her well! She eats way better than my husband and me. I’m all for the division of labor around foods/mealtime but this weight loss is straining my relaxed approached. Anyone dealt with this? Or have recommendations for high-calorie foods your toddler will eat?
Mama Llama says
Are you doing full fat yogurt? Will she eat peanut butter? My kid had similar tastes at that age, but she would eat peanut butter on frozen waffles or pancakes or apple slices. How about avocado or meatballs?
Cb says
My son isn’t big on meat but he loves these Swedish meatballs (he also loves the IKEA veggie ones). I don’t love processed meat but it’s good to get some protein in him.
Cb says
I totally understand the mealtime stress. My son is dairy free which makes it difficult – I can’t just feed him some cheese or high fat yogurt. We’ve tried the vegan cheese but he is suspicious. I’ve been putting lots of olive oil spread on things, making his scrambled eggs with coconut oil, and encouraging him to eat peanut butter etc as I know fats are important. This is very region specific but we have tattie scones (basically flatbread made out of potato flower) which are weirdly high calorie. My son loves them and I think they’re helpful to add a bit of bulk to his primarily fruititarian diet.
Bad mom confession – my toddler is 20 months old and I haven’t had him weighed for 6 months. Going off my gut that he’s healthy and growing out of his clothes.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Sending you hugs, because the weight/growth thing is so stressful sometimes. I suspect that the health issues are what’s stifling the weight gain, and for most kiddos they won’t gain as much the toddler months as they do the infant months anyway.
If my 16 month old had to pick, I bet it would be any sort of pasta with gobs of cheese. Have you tried tortellini with the sauce of your choice, and then covered in melted cheese? I wilt a sh*tload of baby spinach in this when making it for DS…and DH. I also sometimes make an Indian-flavored dish with whatever pasta shape we have lying around, and then make a sauce with Indian seasonings, cram in a bunch of veggies, and top it with cheese. There’s tons of recipes online to do this with different flavor profiles – Indian, Tex-Mex, etc.
I also don’t shy away from using ghee and butter to cook for DS.
Anonymous says
Full fat greek yoghurt, avocado on toast, olive oil and finger slices of bread to dip in it. At that age, anything that could be dipped with a hit. Maybe crackers and hummus? Grilled cheese sandwich cut into strips that she can dip in ketchup.
rosie says
Definitely full-fat yogurt if you’re not doing that already. My toddler loves tortellini (but not ravioli!). Usually we do spinach tortellini with only olive oil or butter for sauce. Frozen waffles or toast with peanut butter.
Anonymous says
This cracks me up. My kid will eat ravioli for days but never touches tortellini.
anon. says
I laughed. My toddler loves tortellini and won’t touch ravioli. Sigh.
rosie says
Ravioli would offer more variety, but as long as she keeps eating the spinach tortellini, I cannot really complain. How are your toddlers with multi-colored tortellini or ravioli? She needs to eat the orange first, but when presented with only green and white, she will eat those, too.
Anonymous says
To all involved in the tortellini discussion, recommendations on brands? I’ve never made it, and it really seems like something my entire family would like. And we’re in a huge dinner rut. Suggestions for brands and/or recipes would be greatly appreciated!
Anon says
I’m partial to Buitoni (in the refrigerated section, and then I just freeze them if we won’t use them right away). As for recipes, I like mine with butter, frozen peas (add to pasta water 3-4 minutes before end) and lots of salt, pepper and parmesan. But for a nontraditional approach, we LOVE smitten kitchen’s crispy tortellini (made with bacon instead of pancetta, and I use the whole tub of mascarpone for a 20oz package, and I cook the peas separately on the side because my husband hates peas).
rosie says
Trader Joe’s spinach tortellini (in the refrigerator case). They always have lots of delicious-sounding ravioli, too.
Anon says
Weight loss is normal after an illness, it sounds like your doctor is overreacting. My kid is a chunk who eats mostly full fat yogurt and fruit, so I don’t think that diet is inherently “lean.” Adding a lot of butter/olive oil to everything you cook is an easy way to add fat, and it makes food more flavorful too.
Anon says
My (proportionally chunky) 20 month old eats a lot of full fat yogurt, pasta (preferably with butter and cheese), lots of cheese. Mascarpone also melts into a nice coating on the pasta that a picky toddler might not notice. She’s not a big fruit eater but loves grapes these days. Peanut butter toast is a favorite when we have bread in the house. She’s a carnivore as of lately, so lots of shredded meats and she went to town last night on an asian beef bowl (but only the garlic, ginger and soy sauce seasoned beef and a few bits of rice; we had a meltdown when I added vegetables). Chicken nuggets or a hot dog with a side of vegetables are my I’m too tired to think dinner. I usually make a batch of pancakes or banana bread (usually with whole milk and a quarter whole wheat flour) that we can use to mix in for meals during the week (also checks the “baked egg” box we’re supposed to be giving her with her allergy). I also do a lot of microwave steamed frozen veggies for her, and with a blend she can pick through to eat the favorite of the day (currently lima beans).
lawsuited says
My toddler reliably eats a lot of full-fat full-sugar yoghurt, fruit (raspberries, blackberries, strawberries, grapes, bananas, clementines, apples), deli ham and turkey, Babybel cheese, Uncle Ben’s flavoured rice, Jiff peanut butter sandwiches (on white bread), homemade mac and cheese, pancakes and pizza. He will eat a small amount of just about anything we put in front of him, but if I need him to be full that’s what a feed him. Just being real that it’s not all “full-fat plain yoghurt and avocado and natural seed butters” that you see online.
Mama Llama says
I definitely agree that these foods are fine if your kid will eat them! At that age, my child would not eat any form of meat other than meatballs, cheese, bread of any kind, rice, potatoes, or pasta. Yogurt, peanut butter, and avocado were just what worked.
anon says
you can also mix peanut butter into her yogurt to get in more calories. my twins like that a lot.
Lily says
If you haven’t already, you could try cashew butter which my toddler prefers to peanut butter, laughing cow cheese (original, full fat one), whole milk yogurt & avocado.
I don’t know if my toddler has been gaining weight since his 12 month check, but I am also really struggling at mealtimes. He’s so so picky. He carefully examines the food and usually decides he doesn’t want to even try! And he doesn’t handle textures too well even tho he is 14 months now. So we have been giving him pureed food.He will eat cheerios, gold fish, Ritz crackers and pea chips but soft pasta or scrambled eggs – no. Really hard!
Anonymous says
I second all of the high-fat suggestions but also want to address your concern about the stress. My first kid was born completely average weight, and was a nice, chunky baby, but around the 12-month mark started slowing down weight gain and I think it was at 15 or 18 months that pediatrician “threatened” (that’s what it felt like to me) with a failure to thrive diagnosis. It stressed me out so, so much, and in hindsight totally unnecessarily. Kid had restricted diet due to allergies but ate healthfully and with plenty of fat. But…he was becoming more active (so burning more calories) AND he was developing the body type that he would have. I’m very very short (but not skinny) and DH is average height but very very skinny. Guess what? Kid was turning into his father. The fact that he was fat as a baby (I mean healthily fat, with munchable leg rolls…I love babies) but not fat toddler or big kid has nothing to do with our feeding practices and everything to do with him growing into his body type. Kid is now 10 and sure enough, his dad’s mini-me in shape and face. So yes, keep paying attention and feeding your kid good food, but also, unless there are other signs to be worried about, don’t let the weight loss thing scare you too much.
RNMP says
Hugs, something very similar happened to us as we were getting started with a new peds nonetheless. It was stressful since she wasn’t really into eating to begin with. Lots of good tips already. Coconut oil is oatmeal was our go-to breakfast during that period. Hummus was also very popular. We also allowed ourselves to have more funs with meals, go out, picnics, make a mess and read books to increase the amount of time she sat down to eat.
anon says
OP here. Thank you all so much for the tips and support! She’s not underweight, it’s just that she was nice and chunky before so this has been a change. I’m just trying to make this a priority without adding stress for her or me. I will be adding even more butter and peanut butter to her diet for sure, and this is a good reminder to try tortellini. She has been in the no ravioli camp but we haven’t tried tortellini yet! And for those who asked, yes, do already do full-fat yogurt and dairy. And now our family drinks whole milk which is definitely tastier than skim. :-)
Law Mama says
The Instagram account Kids Eat in Color is by a nutritionist and is really good. I mix peanut butter into applesauce, oatmeal, everything. Smoothies are also a good way to add dairy and nut butters. And we eat a lot of scrambled eggs when my toddler isn’t into meat. Good luck!
Anonymous says
My (now 2.5 year old) gained no weight between 15 and 18 months for similar reasons (repeated illness). Our ped was super chill about it and he gained what he needed and was fine by the 2 year old appointment. That one visit is actually this blip on his growth chart. He’s totally fine.
Pogo says
Has anyone been a trailing spouse on a short term international assignment? DH has an opportunity abroad and while we’d love to take the whole family, I’m not sure what I would do. My company does not have an office in the city where his assignment is, though I’d be closer to some of my big projects. Realistically I only see it working if I do my role remote and then travel to project sites for meetings every other week or something (to make use of the fact that I’m in Europe and at least much closer). This would mean getting a full time nanny or au pair for our little guy in a foreign country!
Alternatively I solo parent for 6 months. Eeep. I know some ladies on here do it, but it sounds terrifying. Of course he can turn down the assignment, but it’s a great opportunity. Just looking for some ideas I maybe haven’t thought of!
So Anon says
Can you take a 6 month sabbatical or reduced schedule for 6 months (or even 3 months)? If I had six/three months in a foreign country, I would do everything I could to travel locally, absorb the culture, learn and have my kids do the same. I lived in Europe for a few years as a kid/teenager, and it was the most wonderful experience. While doing the “big” trips to Paris, London, Venice were amazing, what I remember equally as well was the day-to-day living in the country.
Anon says
I did! In our case it was only 4 months though. I was lucky that my work let me take a leave of absence (mostly unpaid, although I was able to use accrued vacation/personal days to cover about 1/3 of it). I really loved being a temporary SAHM, but I had one 3 year old at the time – it definitely would have been harder with 2+ kids or with a kid still in diapers. We went to Europe (from the US) and kiddo and I traveled almost every week, because intra-Europe travel is so affordable. We hope to do the same thing again in a few years, but I know needing to find school for kiddo will make it more complicated. Working remotely would have been hard – it was a huge transition for my daughter, and I don’t think she would have been comfortable being left with a nanny all day (and we would have had a hard time finding someone we trusted in a city where we knew no one). If I’d been working at home, she would have been constantly interrupting, and I think parents working outside the home in this foreign place would have been a real struggle for her and probably led to regressions in behavior.
Anon says
*both parents working outside the home
Pogo says
Thanks! This is helpful perspective. I’m wondering if I could do say, a 3-month sabbatical over there for the summer and then come back in the fall – might be easier to arrange 3 months off from work rather than 6.
My biggest concern is that I’m fairly new to my role (was promoted just after maternity leave and my old role wasn’t backfilled til last November) – so I’ve been working hard to carve out my territory, and taking time off means handing that off to others to manage just after I’ve defined it. Plus, it’s a lot to ask of my org to go without me.
Spirograph says
I’m a little burnt out with my job right now, so take this with a grain of salt, but this sounds like an amazing opportunity. I would absolutely go, and try to negotiate a sabbatical, or maybe a scaled back role that gives some time zone flexibility and makes the best use of your proximity. If that didn’t work, I’d quit my job, go anyway, maintain my network, do some professional development training/certifications and plan my next career move.
anon says
This sounds like it could be a great opportunity for you both! I would go if I were you. My first thought would be to see if you could bring a grandparent along with you to help out. And wee what relocation services your husband’s company provides. I don’t know, but a lot times, they have a person whose job it is to help you figure this all out. My first choice would be bringing a grandparent with you and working with an agency in advance to find a nanny. Then at least you would have someone you trust there while this new person is with your child. You could try joining some ex-pat facebook groups for the area you’ll be in, in advance too. I imagine they would have some great recommendations. I’m jealous!
Anonymous says
I would take the job. Plan to SAHM but take some language classes or other activity to get you out of the house. Hire a babysitter for a few hours a week so you get a break. College programs for kindergarten/preschool teachers are a great place to find sitters who are looking for childcare experience to add to their resumes but can’t commit to full time care because of their class schedule.
Anonymous says
I haven’t done this but I am thinking about it… husband potentially could spend a month in Tromso (in summer 2020). I’ve been at my job 5+ years to doesn’t seem crazy that I could take a leave of absence for a month. But Tromso seems … cold and remote?
Anon says
I’ve been to Tromso! It’s not that cold in the summer – it should be in the high 50s/low 60s, which actually sounds a lot more pleasant to me than the humid 80s and 90s that most of the US has during the summer. It’s not that remote, either. There’s an airport with direct flights to quite a few places. I wouldn’t want to spend a month straight there, but it would be a great base from which to explore Scandinavia. Of course, the big draw is the Northern Lights, which you won’t see in summer. But I really liked it.
Anonymous says
Thanks for the feedback!
Lana Del Raygun says
Do you speak the language? Immersion learning is great but I don’t think 6 months is enough if you’re starting from scratch (especially if you’re not a kid in school), so I wouldn’t do this unless you already have some language skills or would have some kind of expat community that you share a language with.
Anon says
She said it was Europe, there aren’t many (any?) European countries where English isn’t spoken widely. I probably wouldn’t want to move somewhere permanently if I didn’t have some familiarity with the local language, but 6 month is more like a long vacation than a move.
Lana Del Raygun says
Eesh, six months is a long time to go without IRL friends to talk to, and I don’t know that you can reasonably ask people to switch their social conversations to a second language for you when they don’t know you yet, so making even casual friends could be pretty hard. I’m not worried about being able to get directions and shop.
Anon says
If he’s moving abroad for a job, he will have local colleagues who will be perfectly happy to speak to an American colleague and his wife in English. I mean, I don’t think they’re going to find best friends for life necessarily, but I don’t think she’s going to go 6 months without having a conversation with an adult who’s not her husband. I don’t know, maybe I’m just introverted, but I would have zero hesitation about going somewhere I didn’t speak the language for 6 months, particularly if I had a partner who was working locally and would have connections to the community that way. I also think there are plenty of non-native speakers in every major European city who converse primarily in English because they don’t all speak each other’s native languages. Unless they’re moving to a very rural area, this just doesn’t seem like an issue to me.
Pogo says
Yes, this is why language was not so much of a concern. We both have local colleagues that already work with us speaking English, and we both travel to this area frequently (and have been travelling there for 5 years). Not that I think my German or French is great, by any means, but I have never had a problem communicating. My team specifically spans several countries, including the UK, so any call or meeting we have is always in English (even if the Germans and Swiss could speak German to each other).
I do agree that it would be hard to make friends beyond work, but I have that problem in the US too!
Anonymous says
Almost everyone in Europe speaks English. It’s in part because it is the common second language most people use – like if a German tourist is in Greece they speak English to their Greek host. There’s an American/English ex pat community is basically every medium sized European city. Also, European languages are not that different from English as most use the Roman alphabet. I went from zero to advanced beginner with German in six months of living there and just doing language classes once a week.
Lana Del Raygun says
Great, I took German classes before I moved there and six months daily immersion took me to basic fluency. It’s hard to predict.
I know what alphabet they use, lol.
Anon says
I think you’re thinking of it like “everyone in Germany speaks German” which just isn’t the case. There may not be that many Americans, but Europeans travel around a lot and English is a universal second language in Europe. French, Italian, Swedish, etc. people in Germany will all be speaking English because their English is almost certainly better than their German and they can’t use their native language. I’ve never lived in Europe, but I’ve traveled to 20+ European cities with a toddler or preschooler, and I can’t think of a city where I didn’t have numerous social conversations in English, mostly with other moms at the playground.
Anonymous says
She didn’t specify which European country. Most but not all use Roman. It’s harder if it’s non-Roman.
Anon says
I was just in Jordan and gave directions to someone in Spanish that spoke another non-English language as their first language. It was just so funny to be in a country that speaks Arabic, neither of us knowing the other’s first language or the local language, but both being conversational in a third language. I love moments like that when traveling.
Pogo says
It’s Switzerland, which I think helps because English is common between native speakers of German, Swiss German, French, Italian, etc. English is spoken at both our offices, for the same reason – customers are in France, Germany, Switzerland and Italy. Not that we wouldn’t work on learning German/French for like, buying stuff at the pharmacy, but at work I would expect to communicate in English.
Anonymous says
I spent 6 months in Zurich long ago (for a work assignment, pre-marriage, pre-kids) and would not hesitate for 1 minute to sign up for this opportunity! Full disclosure: Now a professor planning a 6-month sabbatical with husband and 3 kids. Assuming of course that you have the finances to make this happen, because Switzerland is pricey.
You already travel a lot to the area, which suggests to me that your work could figure out how to let you be remote given that you already work there and with people there. Switzerland is easy, easy, easy to navigate, especially if you have $. Huge expat community there – there is even a really strong association of trailing spouses (mostly wives, in fact I think it might be called the women’s something) that basically helps newbies get settled. If your kid is pre-school or younger, the transition will be completely fine. Yes, it will be an adjustment, but honestly, when they’re that young, they get adjusted fairly quickly, especially to a place that is really quite easy to navigate. Think about if you had to get a new nanny or day care center at home – they’d adjust. Switzerland is in many ways easier to live in than many places in the US…I’m thinking the ease of public transportation, rules/policies that are clearly stated and followed, etc…
If it were me, I’d just ask to work remotely, possibly even reducing my hours, but take a significant vacation during the process of the move (maybe 3 weeks?) and at the end to have an actual vacation and adjust on the return home. I like the suggestion of a 6- or 3-month sabbatical if you think that would fly, but it sounds like you want to work, which I think could be doable.
I would never sign up voluntarily for 6 months of solo parenting. Props to those who do it but I go nuts when DH travels for 2 nights. So that would be a nonstarter for me.
Pogo says
Thank you! This is really helpful too. Yes, the cost of living is a little terrifying. You get a salad for lunch and it’s like $27. It boggles my mind. But DH’s work would provide housing/transportation/per diem, which is something.
Thanks for all the responses – it’s given me some other ideas.
FVNC says
Would working abroad even be an option, like, would you need a work visa? If so, would your company or your husband’s company sponsor you? I know nothing about this, but as a military family we’ve thought about requesting an assignment abroad and this issue has always stumped me. I hope you can make it work as it sounds like a fantastic opportunity for your family!
fallen says
I am trying to replace my 2013 BOB running stroller with all the issues that came out with it. Any running stroller that anyone would recommend?
Anonymous says
How about a more recent version of the BOB? I love my BOB and would not want to be without it. No other stroller I have seen has such a smooth ride. Mine is a version newer than the ones in the news lately, but in view of the problems with the older ones, I did review the manual and make sure I understand how to check the wheels.
rosie says
We have a Burley Solstice (purchased on deep discount during an REI sale) and have been happy, although not super-serious runners, so YMMV. I didn’t read all the details about the BOB issue, but ours does have a quick release front wheel. Maybe it’s not as big of a deal since the stroller is smaller, so there’s not a need to take the wheel on and off so much (meaning less room for error).
anon says
did a ton of research and we LOVE the Thule.
Cate says
This. Chose the Thule over the BOB a couple years ago and couldn’t be happier.
CCLA says
another thule vote. we have a single and a double and love them both. mostly used to run on paved paths but we have taken the single on well worn hiking trails with no issues.
Pogo says
Love our Thule. We had an issue with the brake sticking and Thule was very helpful – turns out it just needed some WD40.
EB0220 says
We loved our Mountain Buggy Terrain.
Anonymous says
PSA- if your back/shoulders are sore/hurt after giving birth, it may NOT be from lugging that bucket.
My back pain got so bad I finally saw a chiro. And in 2 seconds he was able to see that my hip never went back to its correct place after my last pregnancy and was messing up my lower back which in turn was messing up my shoulders. Carrying the bucket didn’t help but it wasn’t the cause and *not* carrying it wasn’t the fix.
rosie says
Yes, similar experience, but I worked with a PT, not a chiro. Also make sure your b**bs are well-supported during pregnancy & bfeeding to help with shoulder and back strain!
Anonymous says
I know there are a lot of places to ask baby gear questions, but thought I’d try here: is Uppababy really worth the cost over something more affordable like the City Mini? I had basically decided on the City Mini, but all my friends with kids recommended Uppababy. Is it worth the extra $500? I’m in a very urban area and don’t plan to drive much with the baby. Thanks!
shortperson says
probably yes. esp if you plan to have more than one child at a time in the stroller years.
rosie says
I don’t have much experience with the City Mini, but probably not. We use Chicco carseat + 10lb stroller frame when mine was little, then around 6 months started with the Cruz, which appealed to me because the seat can go backwards or forwards & the basket has lots of storage (good for grocery shopping). But it’s a little bulky and not as maneuverable as a 3-wheel stroller. Although extra $500? Are you comparing the Vista to the City Mini? I think our Cruz was around $400 (sale on the color at Albee Baby).
Anon says
The Vista is a TANK. If you plan on having another kid soon after the first, the Vista could be worth it. But I would much rather navigate my city with one kid while using the City Mini rather than the Vista. Also, if you have another kid later you can just buy the Vista then.
FWIW I have the Uppababy Minu, metro daily with it, and love it (there isn’t tons of storage, but it’s so small to navigate through the city that it’s an easy trade-off for me). I used a car seat carrier frame for the first 6 months.
Anonymous says
I have no experience with the Uppababy, but no complaints about the City Mini, either. I think the main advantage of Uppababy is the bigger basket, right? So it depends on how important that is to you.
AwayEmily says
There are so many different considerations. We have a b-agile (which is basically identical to the city mini) and used it constantly in an urban area, for two kids, for four years now. I love it and am very glad we didn’t spend the extra money on an uppababy. I also love that the b-agile is small enough that it can be our travel stroller, too — we never had to buy an umbrella stroller. But again, it depends — we rarely did huge grocery trips with the baby, so we didn’t need a really big undercarriage. Our kid was also in daycare so wasn’t being pushed around by a nanny all day, so we never really had to use the stroller as a traveling base station. And we were happy to supplement with the baby carrier once kid #2 came around. But if your needs are different than the uppababy might be worth it!
anon says
I’m not a city dweller but I’ll chime in to say I loved our uppababy in part because I like the flexibility that the seat can be removed to use with a car seat or also rear facing. I also loved the large basket. Also we were deciding between the city mini and ub and a friend had their city mini tip over. I think that’s a risk with any stroller if you’re attaching a heavy bag to the handles but it swayed us to the ub.
Anonymous says
Stroller tipping over would definitely be scary, but this is user error, not a design flaw for the stroller (other than the fact that you don’t “need” to hang things on the handle if you have a bigger basket). All strollers I’ve ever seen come with the explicit warning not to hang things from the handles, and this is basic physics. The back wheels are the fulcrum, and you can’t put more weight behind the wheels than there is in front and expect it to stay upright. It would have to be really heavy bag (or a small baby as an inadequate counterweight) to tip a stroller with a kid in it, but I’ve definitely had mine tip when the kid got out. Annoying, but definitely my own fault.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We also like our UB because of the different carseat/stroller configurations and the huge basket (great for diaper bags!) Our Cruz is still going strong 3 years later. I love their customer service too – extremely responsive and they replaced our wheels for free when they started to get difficult to maneuver.
I don’t know much about the City Mini single but we are actually considering the double to use as a double stroller now that baby can sit in it. My biggest drawback with it is the tiny, hard to reach basket.
Anon says
We went downtown to the DC car show this weekend (where my husband looks at cars and I look at everyone’s strollers) and I saw a lot of the B-agile and Uppababies (way more than in my car-heavy suburb), very few city minis, which surprised me because typically it is the opposite. We took our Maclaren umbrella because I didn’t want to deal with elevators on the metro, but I shockingly saw a lot of our full-size stroller there as well (chicco bravo, which I love, love, love).
Cb says
I am a city dweller and use the CityMini. I think the longevity of the Baby Jogger is quite good – I’ve seen big kids in them! It’s great on the cobbles, uneven sidewalks and for country walks. It’s got a big footprint and sometimes I struggle to get it tucked into the buggy bay on the bus but the Uppababy has the same problem. We used a carrycot attachment for the first 5 or 6 months and I did miss the ability to have him parent-facing for longer.
Callie says
We have 2 kids 16 months apart and are expecting our third. We live in NYC. LOOOVE our uppababy vista. Love how much stuff we can haul (how many groceries and kid stuff and my now 3.5 year old’s scooter underneath and our elderly small dog spends a decent amount of time riding in the basket underneath too). We used it as a double during the week for a nanny share when my son was a baby and I liked that I could easily pop the 2nd seat off to just haul my (then still an only child) baby around on weekends. I liked that once I had my second, it was easy to use as a double. Now my son rarely ever wants to ride in the stroller but I’m glad to know that it will be easy to use as a double once our third child is born this summer. And I’ve found it to be a very smooth push. Also, I’ve had very good experience with their customer service.
BUT–I will say, I bought mine 2nd hand (although almost brand new) from someone who’d decided it was too big for their needs. So I didn’t pay full price at all.
And–our needs might not be yours (i.e. we like the ability to go from single to double so easily and really value the big under basket–haha aka doggie stroller space for our elderly small dog).
DLC says
We bought a Vista in 2012 when our first child was born – got it cheaper because it was the floor model. While it is too much stroller for me personally, my husband loves loves loves it. We live in the suburbs with frequent trips into the city. He loves the big tires and the smooth, stable ride, even over rough terrains- it goes off roaring as easily as it maneuvers around the city; he loves the huge under basket; he loves the customer service; he loves how high our kid rides in it; he loves how the handle bar can be extended to be taller, which is good for him. I don’t love it as much as he does; I have always preferred to wear my kid, and I have a UppaBaby g-luxe umbrella stroller for when I travel without my husband. My main difficulty is that find it bulky and heavy to get up and down the stairs of our front porch. But when we travel as a family, the vista comes with us.
anon says
tips for flying with 11.5 month old twins. this is not our first flight with them, but the last time they weren’t yet crawlers. getting them each their own seat is not in the budget, so they will be in our laps. they are going to want to climb everywhere. at home sometimes they do get quite engrossed with a toy and play with it for a good 20 minutes, but activity ideas for the plane that won’t disturb the other passengers too much
Anon says
If your plane has a three across configuration, can you buy one extra seat to give you guys more space?
OPR says
OP here. Not an option. This is why I’m looking for recs for activities to entertain the kids
Anonymous says
I have twins and I always brought the ergos at that age. Lots of walking up and down the aisle as just looking at other people is interesting for them. Bring some new books and load your phone with videos/pictures of themselves/people they know.
Also, lots of snacks.
Anon says
If you’re still nursing, that helps a lot. Otherwise, I second lots of walking up and down the aisle. A two seat configuration would be ideal if you can get one – then they can climb all over you and DH and each other, without bothering other passengers.
Snacks have never been very successful for us – she just throws them. In a restaurant I’m ok leaving a bit of a mess and a big tip, but on a plane you really have to clean up after yourself because the flight attendants do everything and don’t have a janitorial staff with brooms and mops, so if you bring a lot of snacks be prepared to spend a lot of time on your hands and knees picking up.
SC says
OP probably knows this since she’s flown with twins before, but on most US airlines, you can only have one lap infant per seat configuration because planes only have one additional oxygen mask. So, if OP is on one of those planes, she and her husband can sit across the aisle from one another, or one can sit in front of the other, but not directly next to each other.
As for activities, around that age, I got through a flight with books, looking at pictures of himself on my phone, and sleep. I had better luck rotating about 5 books and using my phone than with toys because he would drop small toys on the ground, and it’s hard to pick them up with a large infant in your lap.
Anonymous says
This. You will have to be on opposite sides of the aisle. But for toddler age that actually worked well for us because we could change babies as needed and they could stand in the aisle for short periods to stretch their legs.
GCA says
How long is the flight? Agree that walking up and down the aisle is an option; so is playing with ice and plastic cups. Window cling stickers. Painter’s tape to make roads for your toy cars. Water Wow books if they don’t just try to eat the brushes. All the snacks.
EB0220 says
At that age, my kids loved looking at the SkyMall (RIP). They also were amused for hours (hours!) by looking at pictures of friends and family on my phone. We had some luck with goldfish in munchie mugs (1 at a time).
lawsuited says
I flew with my son at that age. He did spend some time crawling on the floor in front of my seat so if you can get bulkhead seats that would be clutch. I took cars for him to vroom around, I downloaded baby shark and baby car onto my phone, and I took a bag of colourful craft pompoms which he put one by one into a clear water bottle.
GCA says
I work from home & just did an entire video conference call with my son’s 4-foot-tall stuffed giraffe clearly visible in the background. (Baby shower gag gift, don’t ask.) Mondays…
Feel free to share your Monday woes/ laughs here!
Anon in NYC says
lol. I put facial cleanser on my legs instead of lotion this morning.
Anon says
DH is gone for the week and I’m solo parenting our 13 month old for the first time. This morning was smooth, but I’m nervous about how the week will go!
GCA says
You’ve got this! That age is exhausting, but so so adorable and sweet.
Cb says
Haha! My husband realised yesterday he was wearing mismatched shoes because my toddler handed him his shoes and he just put them on.
Anonymous says
I forgot to pick up my prescription medication two days in a row and it will be tomorrow morning at the earliest before I can get to the pharmacy because of DH’s travel schedule.
Anonymous says
Couldn’t sleep last night because I woke up worrying the baby wasn’t kicking enough. Then he woke up and I couldn’t sleep because he kept kicking.
Anon says
I remember those days well! You’re (hopefully) in the homestretch now.
Anonymous says
25 weeks. And it’s my second so I’m usually more chill this time around!!
Anonymous says
On Friday, I realized when picking up my daughter from daycare that I’d been wearing my pants inside out all day.
At least they were black and i was WFH and had only been to preschool, daycare, and the grocery store ;)
Anon says
I have hardly any photos of my 14 month old from the last six months or so, because the second she sees a camera or phone she wants it and cries hysterically if she doesn’t get it, so it’s easier to just avoid using these items front of her. It’s been like this since she developed object permanence around 8 months. Is this normal/just a phase? She’s otherwise such an easy-going baby, but she seems to have this fixation with devices and screens that goes far beyond what I’ve seen from other kids her age. I’m a big believer of everything in moderation, and we used to let her play with the phone, but it became clear that there was never enough time with the phone for her. Whether we let her play with it for two minutes or an hour, she’d melt down when we tried to take it away, so we decided to just cut it out completely.
GCA says
Reassuring you that this sounds fairly normal, really – my son was like that at the same age. He did eventually outgrow it (age 1.5? 2?) and no longer wants my phone all the time, but we try to ditch our phones around the kids in favor of greater interaction with them. What is she seeing on the screen that fascinates her, or does she just want to press buttons? If she likes pictures of herself/ family, make a book of that. If she wants to push buttons and chew things…a dead remote control?
buffybot says
I just have to add that we got my son his “own” remote control – a spare apple remote that we took the batteries out of so we weren’t worried about him chewing on it. And he can 100% tell that “his” remote is not as good as the active one and has zero interest in it….why do they always know?
Anon says
She does like both photos of herself and pushing buttons, and we let her play with photo albums and remote controls. But these things are more like normal toys to her. She enjoys them but doesn’t freak when we take them away, and it hasn’t changed her obsession with screens.
anon says
I have twins, and one of them was like this. I couldn’t take my phone out at all in front of him.
I agree with the PP that around 18-24 months things changed so that I could use my phone briefly around him to take a photo, check the weather, turn on/off music, etc. He still wanted to see whatever it was, but he understood enough that I could say, “I am using . I will show you 3 photos, and then I will put my phone away and we will work on your puzzle.” He would rather see more photos, of course, but it was doable.
And now at 2.5 I was able to WFH on my laptop next to him for an hour while he worked on a puzzle, so it does get better!
va anon says
Any recs for a northern VA pediatrician? We don’t think we’ll need a lot of hand-holding, so efficiency and ease of appointments are probably key. We’re in southern Arlington. Have already bounced off one small practice for having an unpleasant staff experience (seriously,if my wife and I are literally standing there holding hands and having a very married conversation, referring to us in a *tone* as “you and your…friend” is certainly telling).
Anonymous says
Virginia pediatric group but not sure if it’s convenient to you. They have several offices. I could always call at 7am and get a sick appt at 9am. The doctors are really non-judge mental and chill (like they never make you worry for no reason) and really laid back with any unnecessary testing, but they’re knowledgeable and know a lot of u need it.
Anonymous says
Also in S. Arlington. We made the trip to Virginia Pediatric and Adolescent to see Dr. Duffy and it was so worth it. She’s wonderful.
Anonymous says
She’s not at the practice any more :(
We’re there, it’s fine but I don’t rave about it, especially since my favorite two doctors left within a year of one another. They just added a walk-in hour for sick kids in the mornings, which is great.
Anonymous says
Oh man! I loved her. We recently had to change practices because of an insurance change, and I was kind of torn about it because I liked Dr. Duffy so much.
Anon says
We love Heritage Family Practice (Conklin is the pediatrician, but we’ve seen just about everyone and they see all of us), but it’s in Fairfax. I love that they have extended hours and I have never had any difficulty getting a same or next-day (if less serious) appointment. My mom’s group also likes Children’s Medical Associates (Fairfax and Alexandria) and Capital Aria Pediatrics (Falls Church).
Anonymous says
I am happy with Children’s Medical Associates. I switched to it because we were having difficulty scheduling appointments at All Pediatrics.
Anon says
I know this is super late, but also in South Arlington and +1 for Children’s Medical Associates. We love Dr. Playforth but all of the providers we’ve seen are good. Scheduling is a breeze, and they are literally open 365 days a year for sick visits – plus they have evening appointments on weekdays.
LHW says
Feeling discouraged about IVF. Had my first transfer on Thursday (5-day PGS normal blastocyst). I’ve been anxiously awaiting a faint sign that I may be pregnant. I had an eptopic and early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy last year and felt the same soreness in my chest each time. Blood test is Friday. People say don’t symptom spot but…that’s impossible.
Anonymous says
Hugs. I had zero symptoms until like 3 weeks on each pregnancy so I remember well the waiting and wishing for some kind of symptom.
Pogo says
Hugs, I’ve been there. Just take it one day at a time. The waiting is the worst.
Anon says
If your transfer was Thursday, it’s just way too soon to know or expect symptoms at this point. Fwiw, I did multiple rounds of IvF and symptoms (including lack thereof) were not a reliable indicator for me. Hang in there!
Anon says
Not to be a downer but try to give yourself some space with no major commitments this weekend in case the IVF is not successful. I thought I would be okay with mine not taking but I took it WAY harder than I had expected. I could barely get out of bed for days. I think stopping the hormonal medication made it worse too. Fingers crossed for good news for you!
Lhw says
Needed to hear this. Thanks.
LHW says
Totally understand. I’m working from home Friday so I can be with my husband and receive the good or bad news.
RR says
I had no symptoms before the positive blood test for either of my successful IVFs. Hugs.
anon says
Hugs! I also had an ectopic (followed by a successful IVF cycle!). EP is the worst, I’m so sorry.
If you just did a transfer, I’m guessing you are on a sh!t ton of progesterone, so that is probably going to dominate any symptoms or lack of symptoms you experience. The two week wait (or nine day wait ;) goes by so. slowly. Fingers crossed for you.
Moms of older aspy girls? says
Are there any moms here who have older (tween or older) girls who are Aspy? We are thisclose to getting it diagnosed (originally had ADHD, but that didn’t seem to encompass all of her struggles, and as she’s gotten older and socializing is more complex, that seems to fit best with describing her current issues). Advice? She is in a normal public school and we need to decide what is a good placement for middle school (current options are a smaller neighborhood school where she will qualify for advanced classes with 20 kids in a class and some ability to do sports, clubs, etc.; vs a magnet where they take high/average kids but don’t differentiate much and do to bus schedule will have perhaps only theatre options after school, which she currently is meh on). She has been miserable at school this year (BFF transferred out, other kids are teasing much more) but has made a sustained recent effort to “talk to 5 people a day” that she seems to be pleased with (I believe that 90% of kids will talk to you if you talk to them; maybe only 10% are true meanies; neutral to positive social interaction is always good; ability to make small talk is an important life skill).
I am not freaking out over this and daughter seems relieved. I think she will be able to have a “normal” life and go to a regular college. I think that learning how to interact with people will be harder, but that she is going to be able to handle that.
Thoughts? Advice? Thank you!
So Anon says
My son is a bit younger but also ASD (Aspergers is no longer a diagnosis). Are you struggling over middle school placement or looking for something else? If is it middle school, I would obtain the diagnosis and then talk to each of the schools. Ask how many students they have or have had that are similar to your daughter, what type of accommodations they make, ask the magnet about transportation, talk to whomever is providing the diagnosis for their experiences with these schools. Essentially, I would gather more information then talk to your daughter about it.
Are you not freaking over the diagnosis or the middle school? Freaking out a bit is ok. There is a ton of information out there and a lot to absorb about ASD. A diagnosis does not change who a person is or determine their fate, it provides information.
Anonymous says
Thanks — no, not freaking out at all — it is sort of a comfort to have some direction (that is not “you should put her on ADHD meds”). On some level, you just sort of know (and I’m from a family of engineers that Big Bang Theory could have been written about, so fairly sure I’m really used to people on the spectrum). She’s a bit Lilith Crane, and there isn’t a lot out there (it seems) on aspy girls (or annecdata from people who have raised these girls to adulthood).
For middle school, we are in a big urban public school district that is not great at times (so I do all of the evaluations myself — the school is sort of indifferent at best, but her classroom teacher this year is kind just as one classmate has gone into a mean girl phase aimed at my daughter — people can be rough, early puberty can be rough, ugh).
At any rate, I feel a bit alone. And with not the clearest guidance.
Anonymous says
Are you confusing Aspergers and nerdy/socially awkward? Because they’re very different. I went to the school that the Big Bang Theory guys work at, so I know A LOT of people who are really socially awkward and love [insert academic subject here] more than anything else. I know a couple people that are actually on the Autism spectrum (all high-functioning, very intelligent), and there’s much more to ASD than just being a geek. I really hope this diagnosis is coming from a medical professional and not because you think she resembles certain TV characters.
Overfeeding? says
I think I need a reality check. My LO is 7 months and has been taking 3 5 ounce bottles of pumped milk at daycare for awhile now. Recently they asked me to send more, so I upped it to 3 6 oz bottles. Now they want me to send 3 7 oz bottles (so 21 oz over 8 hours.)
LO is big for his age and seems to have an unlimited appetite (both for milk and solids), but that just seems like so much milk to me. Daycare insists that he is hungry even after a 6 oz bottle (of breast milk) and needs more ounces, and it’s hard for me to argue when I’m not there. I don’t want him to be hungry but I also don’t want to set him up for obesity issues by majorly overfeeding him. Anyone dealt with this?
I sent formula today to supplement if needed, so logistically I feel like I have a handle on it – but I’m just worried I’m not handling this correctly.
lawsuited says
The 6 mo growth spurt is a doozie, I think. My LO started drinking 9 oz bottles around that time (as well as packing in 8 oz solids every meal), so I don’t think your situation is out of whack. My paed told me not to worry about overfeeding until age 2. She reassured me that healthy babies are really good at regulating their food intake (but the adults who worry about overfeeding are less good at regulating their food intake which is why we freak about it).
H13 says
I faced a very similar issue with my first. Daycare wanted more and more and more insisting he was hungry all the time (I think I was sending in four 6 oz bottles/day). In reality, he was a very fussy baby and I think it was the only way they felt that they could reliably soothe him.
I wouldn’t worry about overeating/obesity issues. My hungry-all-the-time, enormous, bottle-guzzling baby is now a perfectly normal 5.75 yo.
But do trust your gut and while balancing what they are requesting if possible. It sounds like you are ok with sending formula, so I would let it be if you can. Things will change in 2 days/weeks/months. Is he on any solids yet? I found it really helped when daycare could feed him something other than a bottle for pure entertainment purposes.
Anonymous says
21 oz in 8 hours seems like a lot. Can they offer solids and water in a sippy if he’s still hungry?
rosie says
My understanding is that you cannot overfeed bmilk. Mine drank between 25-35 oz a day, around that age, IIRC (I EPed so know how much she had total). I don’t know how much your son is eating not at daycare, but the quantity you’re saying for daycare seems in line with my experience.
Are they doing paced bottle feeding? That is the only thing I can think of to change. Also possible this is a growth spurt.
Anon says
You can’t over feed when feeding baby at the breast, but you definitely can when feeding pumped milk in a bottle. My lactation consultant was all about paced feeding to help prevent this. Is daycare doing that? (Holding bottle level instead of tipping it so baby has to work more for the milk, etc)
Anon says
+1 the “impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby” advice means that it’s impossible to put a baby on your breast too much. Breastmilk in a bottle is no different than formula or cow’s milk in a bottle, as far as overfeeding goes.
Anonymous says
Our ped would disagree. But I’m guessing this is something that reasonable medical professionals differ on. And might depend on the child. Our kiddo has always been around 20th percentile for weight, so overfeeding BM was never a concern to them. But it was a struggle and stressful to keep up.
Anon says
What do you do on the weekends/when you are home during the day with the baby? Do you know how much your LO consumes then? Just by way of comparison, my nearly 7 mo old has 18 ounces (like what you’re doing now) while I’m at work, and he is ready to bfeed when I come home around 5:30 pm. I say you as the parent know best. In my opinion, caregivers tend to think a baby is hungry when he/she is instead tired.
Overfeeding? says
We breastfeed at home, so I don’t really know how much he is getting, unfortunately. It would be helpful to have the comparison.
Anon says
I think there are studies that weight/food intake before age 2 has no correlation to obesity, so I wouldn’t worry about that too much. If he’s genuinely that hungry, he should be eating that much. That said, in my experience what daycare thinks is a “hungry baby” is often a baby who needs something else, and they find that food is the easiest way to keep the baby calm. I’d be a little bit worried that they’re using food as a pacifier, essentially. I would want to talk to the teacher and get more info about why they think he’s hungry and what they do to soothe him other than feeding. Also make sure they’re not dumping milk. A friend was sending 24 oz/day because her baby “needed” four 6 oz bottles, and then she found out that the baby was only drinking 3-5 oz each time, and daycare was dumping a lot. So no overfeeding issue, but a waste issue (especially for a pumping mama).
HSAL says
That’s insane. I’m not a bfeeding zealot by any means, but that’s so far beyond what is suggested for bfeeding babies, which is 1-1.5 ounces per hour of separation. With my (tiny, low on the charts) first, I sent 12 ounces a day (first four 3s, then three 4s around 5 months). She wasn’t doing 6+ ounces until 9ish months when she was on formula. With my twins (average/high on the charts), I started out sending four 3s, then 4/3/4/3 upon their suggestion. That worked recently until 9 months, when I started sending “lunch” and three 4s instead. I know every baby is different and all that, but they are overfeeding your kid. Overfeeding at daycare is likely to lead to him feeding less at home, which could create supply issues if you’re hoping for longer-term breastfeeding.
Anonymous says
It’s not your experience but it’s not insane. My kiddo who was big / tall drank 24 ozs per day in daycare. He was/is perfectly healthy, according to the doctor.
Anon says
As a counterpoint, my mostly EBF (we supplemented with formula, but not much) baby drank 8 ounce bottles when I went back to work at 3 months. A lot of people will tell you breastfed babies need smaller, frequent feeds but that was not my experience. She would drain a 5 ounce bottle and just start wailing, so we switched to bigger bottles very quickly. She didn’t really take to solids until relatively late, and her peak milk intake was 25+ oz during my workday, plus morning and evening breastfeeds. I never had any supply issues and am still nursing morning and night at 16 months.
Anon says
And she’s big but not giant (~90th percentile height, 70th percentile weight).
Anon says
1-1.5 ounces/hour is a guideline, not a rule. Plenty of kids drink more and it doesn’t mean the daycare is overfeeding.
anon says
I think lactation consultants sometimes want to help moms continue to breastfeed (and avoid formula) at all costs, even if that means the baby doesn’t eat as much as it might sometimes need. I think their estimates of how much a baby eats, including the 1-1.5 oz per hour guideline, is not always appropriate for every baby. Talk to your pediatrician. Lactation consultants I’ve met with act like pediatricians don’t know enough about feeding babies, but years of medical school and residency should count for something. Pediatricians don’t have an agenda, but lactation consultants often do.
Anon says
Agreed they have an agenda. Plus “continue to breastfeed” and “avoid formula” are not synonymous at all, despite lactation consultants telling you they are. I supplemented with formula from day 2, and used it in large quantities beginning around 6 months. Still BF-ing my toddler.
anon says
1-1.5 oz/hour assumes baby’s feedings are spaced evenly across 24 hours. If baby is sleep trained (or otherwise eating less or none at all overnight), baby will need more during waking hours.
OP, FWIW my twins took 20 oz each during separation while I was at work, so 21 oz doesn’t sound out of bounds to me.
Anon says
THIS! I had a baby who slept through the night early and was doing 12 hours straight at night by about 4-5 months. I remember calling the ped being worried that she was drinking 20+ oz during my workday and then nursing several times per day on top of that. She assured me that it was normal and because she slept so long at night she would have to eat bigger portions more frequently during the day. She said something like “she has to get her calories in somehow!” I think the guideline is no more than 32 oz of milk/day. Unless you believe your baby is significantly exceeding that, I wouldn’t worry.
Anonymous says
My first pediatrician freaked me out with that “limit.” Second pediatrician has never asked how many ounces baby is eating and says feed if hungry. I have two huge kids and was a huge kid myself, and although both kids eat about the same (30-32 oz, occasionally an extra bottle) I am sooooo much less stressed this time!! Some kids just need to eat more.
Stacey says
This was my experience at that age with my large baby who was an excellent eater. She was 95th percentile in both height and weight. I was sending 30 ounces for nine hours at daycare and breast-feeding the rest of the time, plus she was eating solids both at home and at daycare. I exclusively breast-fed on weekends, plus solids. I was miserable trying to pump that much until I started supplementing with formula. Daycare did 2 ounces of formula and the rest breastmilk for each bottle.
I agree with the above posters to ask questions, but it also may be that he just wants to eat that much. Mine is almost five and we have no issues with obesity. She’s always been proportional, but big for her age.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Pretty much the same here. I have huge babies (>90% height and weight for both as infants) and my first had 3-4 6oz bottles at daycare, sometimes more oz. The second also currently has that much during the day when I’m at work. First is almost 3 and nowhere near obese at this point. Some babies just have a lot of milk as infants!
sarah says
I recently got the book The Pediatrician’s Guide to Feeding Babies and Toddlers, and for 7-8 month-old babies, the book recommends 3 to 5 feeds of breast milk or formula (approximately 24 to 32 oz total per day) and several servings of solids on top of that. I hope that reference point helps.
sarah says
So in other words, the serving size partly depends on how many feeds your child is getting, but according to the book, it should be in the neighborhood of 6-8 oz per feed for that age.
Big Baby says
I am in the minority here but this seems like too much to me for a breastfed baby. I would ensure they are doing paced feeding which is crucial. When my husband fed our baby it’d take 15+ mins to give the bottle paced. I know that is probably a bit long but definitely any form of paced feeding will be longer than letting them gulp it down.
My baby was huge (98-99% always) and she took 3 3 oz bottles from 4-6 months and then 3 4 oz bottles until a year. She started taking solids at 6 months which helped and eventually bigger and bigger meals and snacks until 12 mos.
She would have definitely taken as much milk as I sent if I sent more but I don’t think she needed it.
As some mentioned, day care providers are known to correlate to the amounts of formula that are common. Even in my upper middle class neighborhood I was surprised at how much formula there was (no judgement, just observation from the fridge/freezer in the morning) and I was one of the few sending pumped milk. I don’t know how common pumped milk is, especially for older babies.
Of course, this is a know your day care as well but I’d be hesitant to give more and more milk without trying to make other adjustments.
Anon says
Help me choose between a variety of unappealing childcare options? We’ve been on the waitlist for a fantastic daycare for two years now. They were optimistic they’d have a spot for our now-15 month old at some point this summer, so we’ve kept her home up to this point. They’ve just told us they won’t have a spot for her until next summer at the earliest (they only enroll in summers), and now we have to figure out care for (at least) another year. I’m stupidly upset about it. There are a couple of other equally convenient and equally highly-rated (according to state licensing) daycares, and I’m sure they’d keep her alive, fed, etc. but it’s hard not to see them as sub-par after touring our preferred daycare and seeing how much less chaotic it is and how much more individual attention the kids get. Even my husband felt that the daycare we want to be at was night and day from the others we toured, and he’s not someone who generally has strong opinions about childcare or parenting philosophies. We tried to hire a nanny last fall, but it was kind of a disaster all around – I spent a ton of time searching and interviewing, we paid her above market for our area (and way more than we would spend on daycare), but it pretty much immediately it became clear she wasn’t a good fit, and she ended up leaving much earlier than expected. We then had a series of college students who worked part-time, essentially as mother’s helpers, and they were great at entertaining the baby, but none of them wanted to work full-time and schedules didn’t align for the same people to work spring that worked fall, so it was a lot of turnover and a constant juggle to piece together anything resembling 40 hours of care in a week. I also wasn’t comfortable with any of the students driving her to activities, because they were so young and we never really got to know any of them very well, so they just stayed home and played in our house/neighborhood, which was fine for an infant but maybe not so great for a toddler. It wasn’t great, but we figured it was temporary. But now that we’re faced with a minimum of another year of this, I don’t know that I want to continue such an ad hoc arrangement.
I’ve discussed this with a couple close friends, both of whom suggested my mom just come stay with us for a year, which she definitely will not do. My friends are from immigrant families where this is standard, and I’m not, and very jealous they have this option. I love them, but talking to them has made me feel worse, not better, because they just don’t get that family isn’t an option for me and nothing I can do will make it an option.
I guess my gut says 1.5-2 year olds don’t need a ton of socialization and we should hold out for the better daycare, but I’m scared to do the nanny search again since I so clearly blew it the first time. I don’t really know what I did wrong or how to avoid making the same mistakes, and that worries me. And it’s not like an abundance of qualified candidates the first time. The person we hired (who turned out not to be good) was pretty much the only person who met our requirements.
HSAL says
That sounds so stressful. Can’t you put her in the “sub-par” daycare until next summer when she can get into your preferred choice? I don’t see why you’d need to hold out. I do think socialization is important at this age so I’d encourage you to visit the second choice daycares again.
Spirograph says
+1 for using a”sub-par” daycare. I agree that 1.5-2 year olds don’t need a ton of socialization, but I do think they benefit from it. A toddler, and, equally importantly, *you* would also benefit from a consistent routine and caregivers, which it sounds like you’re not getting with the current ad hoc arrangement. Choosing a daycare is not a final decision, you can enroll your child for a year and then move to your preferred center if you get off the wait list next summer.
FWIW, My kids are currently in a daycare that is not my favorite, but for a variety of price/hours/location reasons, is a good fit for our family right now. It might be helpful to reframe how you think about your options from “unappealing” to “good enough.” Assuming your child is an average, neurotypical kid with a loving, stable home environment and smart, engaged parents, there are diminishing returns as you keep going up in the quality of a childcare center. It’s totally fine to want the best when it’s available, but if it’s not available, there’s no reason to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
Anon says
“Assuming your child is an average, neurotypical kid with a loving, stable home environment and smart, engaged parents, there are diminishing returns as you keep going up in the quality of a childcare center.” I see your point, but it’s hard for me to really believe it when she spends more waking hours with childcare providers than with us. I guess I’m just leaning towards getting another nanny to let her keep her current two nap schedule and avoid a rough transition to daycare for a place we both feel is mediocre. I’m not saying she won’t lose some sleep or have a hard transition whenever she starts daycare, but it seems more “worth it” to me to put her through that for a place we love and are confident she’ll love and want to stay at long-term.
We’ve toured them all recently.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I don’t mean to be curt, but the daycare that she goes to for one year really won’t matter that much over the span of the 18+ years that you’re raising her, assuming that they meet basic levels of feeding, safety, care, etc. which I’m sure these daycares do if they’re well rated by the state. And agree with the others that the needs of toddlers vary a lot from the needs of infants (when you first looked). Toddlers gain a lot from being around other kids of similar ages and (IMHO) the personalized attention isn’t as important.
Spirograph says
Hm. Gently, I wonder if you’re unwillingness to settle for anything but your ideal center might lead to more “hard transitions” than would have occurred if you’d settled for one of the sub-par centers initially. I also wonder whether any center or any nanny would make you happy, because it sounds like you’re putting a lot of expectations and pressure on this caregiving relationship to be an approximation of your parenting ideal. You say, “a place *she’ll* love” (emphasis added), but the fact is that kids have way lower standards than parents do. Your daughter will probably love anyplace with nice teachers and fun stuff to play with, I know my kids do (my 6 year old dislikes K because of the sitting-still-and-paying-attention, but loves aftercare). It’s you who thinks these other places aren’t good enough.
I have a minimum standard of childcare that includes
– Safety
– Encouraging developmentally-appropriate skills, social behavior, and curiosity
– Likeable, engaged, caring teachers (preferably with low turnover)
– Plenty of unstructured playtime indoors and outdoors
– Reading
Happily, most (all?) licensed childcare I’ve toured go way beyond this minimum, but in my view, everything else is really up to me and my husband. Even though my kids spend the overwhelming majority of their waking hours M-F with someone else, we are the parents. Letting go of the idea that my childcare needed to be perfect was very freeing to me, and gives me more resources (time, money, energy) to do what I see as my part. We choose ideas and experiences to expose our kids to, live and talk about our values, and enforce our own expectations for their behavior and language, and it’s undeniable that we’re the primary influences on their interests, behavior and character. Daycare/school is just a place the hang out when they aren’t with us.
Just food for thought. I’m not saying you *should* settle, just trying to give you confidence in a positive outcome if you don’t want to deal with another nanny search.
anon says
Yes. We used a daycare for 2 years that wasn’t my first choice, but it ended up being fine. More than fine, actually. The teachers loved my daughter and she was very well cared for, even if the center wasn’t as impressive on the surface as our favorite.
Finally, a spot opened up at our top choice daycare when daughter was 3. We love it, but I still feel very good about the choice we made for an “interim” spot. And, I’d rather have a sure-fire option than go through the rigamarole of finding a nanny. Consistency does count for something.
octagon says
I’d go back and tour the other daycares again. Pretend the other daycare doesn’t exist (because it doesn’t, for you, now.) You have another year of parenting under your belt and a much better sense of who your kid is, and what will be best. You might also be surprised — staff changes! Directors change! One of them might look really different now than it did before. Ask for contact information for other parents and talk to them about your concerns. Our daycare looks pretty shabby on the outside but what you wouldn’t get from a tour is how tight-knit the parents have become, and how the quietest teacher is an amazing STEM resource and the kids absolutely adore her.
Gently, you need to have a reasonable expectation that your kid will never get into your preferred daycare. I suggest you operate as though it’s not an option, and then be overjoyed if something opens up. (Only enrolling in the summer is crazypants, though!)
The other option would be to join a nannyshare, if that’s a thing where you are. I am solidly pro-socialization — especially as they become tiny toddlers who talk and move much more than babies. Also, finding one option that you could stick with (at least for a few months) to see how it goes will give you a break from all the care-juggling, which is exhausting.
Anonymous says
Agree with the center enrolling only in the summer being crazypants. I’d have a lot of questions about the management and how they interact with parents with such a rigid and parent-unfriendly system. Also, people move, jobs change, parents decide to come live near you and be your full time childcare (I mean, this doesn’t happen to me, but I can dream). I can’t imagine kids NEVER leave mid-year. So there’s an opening, and then…. they don’t fill it? It doesn’t make sense.
Anon says
I’m the OP. It’s a university-run center, 100% of the children are in faculty/postdoc/student families that wouldn’t move in the middle of an academic year barring an emergency. From talking to people who managed to get their kids enrolled in the center, it really is that phenomenal and nobody who gets in ever leaves, unless the family moves away (which would normally happen between May and August) or the child is leaving to enroll in kindergarten (which happens in August). It’s not a policy that you can’t enroll mid-year, it just never happens in practice. When we met the director last week, she said they had one December opening three years ago. They’re really not rigid and unfriendly, the director is incredibly warm and welcoming, the families that attend are incredibly close-knit and LOVE the place and everything I’ve heard is that management is incredibly competent and responsive to enrolled parents. It’s true though that don’t do much in the way of selling themselves or marketing to potential families, because they have insane waitlists without any marketing efforts.
Anonymous says
This is a fantasy and you need to get over it. You don’t have a place in this day care. You probably aren’t getting one. The other day cares are all perfectly fine. Use one.
Anon says
Yeah, we are in a place like this. Enrollment essentially happens only in August, although there are occasional exceptions – people do sometimes start new jobs midyear, or get research fellowships, etc.
However, our older kid was also in a much less fancy place for awhile before we got of the waitlist at our university center. And you know? It was fine. More than fine, even. She was happy, made friends with kids from families outside the university bubble, and didn’t notice at all that the facility was shabby and full of plastic toys rather than tasteful natural materials.
Em says
We are on our 5th daycare in 3 years, so I feel you. Every time we had to make the change is was very stressful, particularly the couple where we had to find care with little or no notice due to safety issues. Having been through the gamut of daycare options (including an in-home), I would say that having your 18 month old in a mediocre daycare for one year probably won’t be a huge issue in the long run. I asked myself (and my husband/mom/sister) what we did wrong every time we had to move daycares and the answer is usually nothing (except the first daycare, but I was a first time mom and had no idea what I should be asking/looking for so I gave myself a pass on that one). Two of them were sold to new owners and went downhill after we started there and our in-home had big life changes that caused her to go from good to bad within 6 months. Childcare is hard. Assuming your kid is fed and safe, the quality of care and activities offered are going to matter a lot more when your kid is 3 years or so that they will right now.
RR says
Nanny hiring is like that. When it works, you have years of a great relationship. When it doesn’t, it’s a PITA, and you have to try again. Between me and friends, I’ve seen people go through the nanny cycles. If you think having a nanny is a good fit for you family, I’d encourage you to try again. Just because one candidate didn’t work out doesn’t mean no one will.
That said, I second touring the daycares again. What felt right for an infant may be totally different for a toddler. And, frankly, I’d be so annoyed at getting jerked around by my first choice that that would be a major ding for me.
Anonymous says
Is an au-pair an option? They are generally looking to make about a one year commitment. Public transportation might also be an option if you aren’t comfortable with them driving. My kids loved riding on a city bus when they were toddlers.
AP says
+1
If you have the space, it’s worth a look. I had a nanny I was under-whelmed with by followed by two amazing au pairs. Au pair in America also has expert au pairs who are teachers, etc
EB0220 says
I think you need to find a solution you can potentially live with longer term, whether that’s another go at a nanny or a different daycare. FWIW I had the lovely experience of only being able to send my younger child to my amazing/wonderful/unicorn onsite daycare. My oldest went to a regular old daycare. And honestly, it was fine. So I would just pretend Wonderful Daycare doesn’t exist, find something I could live with longer term, and then be happily surprised if Wonderful Daycare had a spot next year. I also agree that the needs of a toddler/preschooler are very different than that of a baby so you might see different things now.
Baby shoe brands says
I’m looking at Pediped shoes for my soon-to-be one year old. I like that this brand has been approved by the the American Podiatric Medical Association (APMA) and seems a little less expensive than some of the other recommended brands I’m finding online. I’m debating between getting the Originals (with leather soles for “beginning walkers”) or the Grip and Go (for “children transitioning from early walking to walking” and for “toddlers walking 20-30 steps on their own”). She’s been walking for almost a month – but can take 20-30+ steps on her own. Any recommendations of one style over the other? Or any other recommended brands? Thanks in advance!
GCA says
My general rule of thumb is the younger the child, the more likely you are to want a flexible sole (so robeez-type crib shoes for older infants, Originals-type soles for early walkers, etc.). I wouldn’t worry about durability – at that age, kids will likely grow out of their shoes before they wear them out. For my son, we used leather crib shoes till he went to the toddler room, then a lot of teeny tiny Nike Frees or similarly flexible shoes. I noticed that if we put him in anything less flexible he’d trip over his own feet while running.
Anonymous says
Do you plan to use them primarily indoors or outside? The thicker grip and go soles will be more durable and last longer; leather may be better for her learning process.
Anon says
My child’s first shoes were the grip and go, starting at around 13 months when she was finally taking 3-6 steps at a time (we didn’t bother with shoes before that). She wore that pair until around 16-17 months at which point she was walking really well and we went for something between an early walker shoe and a more rigid gym shoe. Given your child’s walking, I’d go for the grip and go.
Anon says
Our second shoe is the Tjoukoshi (sp?) which we love – they are washable (as were the grip and gos I think) – helpful when your carsick toddler covers them repeatedly and don’t ever smell (absent puke) because they put green tea extract or something in them.
Anon says
We did leather soles 90% of the time until my kids were well over two. I’m a big believer in staying as close to barefoot as possible while feet and gait are developing so quickly. However, they are not ideal for wet weather, so ideally, I think you’d have one set of each. That said, there are cheaper leather-sole options (Robeez, also several knock-off brands on Amazon) that are just as good as the Pedipeds. Those are hard to screw up, so I’d vote for getting the non-leather ones from Pediped and then getting a leather soled option from wherever is cheapest.