A Week in the Life of a Working Mom: Dr. Mom Edition
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Thursday
Morning off so do drop-off routine with au pair support as noted. Late breakfast with some girlfriends who are physicians who also work weird hours. Work from 11am-midnight. Lots of emails/texts with in-laws, au pairs, husband for updates. No kid-spotting outside of the walk to school — always sad. Thursday is always housekeeper day — 2 hours in the afternoon.
Friday
Brutal day with 7:30am meeting and ending at midnight. No kid-spotting at all. More texts/emails with those who do. All meals from au pair. Husband back by dinner.
Saturday
Awakened by children bouncing into the room at 7am. Half asleep/half playing until 8:30am — off to workout. Back with coffee + farmers market goods for lunch/dinner. Playground. Birthday party drop-off. MLS soccer game as a family.
Kat’s note: As a general follow-up question, I asked M about days without any “kid-spotting,” as she called it — did her family have any rituals or rules around such days where one of the parents wouldn’t see the kids all day? She answered:
YES! We have one rule that one of us needs to see the kids once every day. We rarely fail but it happens. And it seems like such low-hanging fruit. If we can’t meet our one goal of seeing them, we:
(a) definitely let them know that is going to happen (that we won’t see them). Setting expectations is huge in our house.
(b) let them know when we will see the next and what the plan is (“I’ll miss you tomorrow night but I want you to save reading ‘Spy FlyGuy’ with me on Wednesday night.”)
(c) remind them why we choose to work
(d) I do leave little love notes occasionally at their spots at the breakfast table
(e) always kiss them when I get back home when it is late and before I leave in the morning, whatever the time
— Honestly, this is a real challenge we face. My now 8-year-old realized when she was 1.5 years old that when I wore scrubs it meant I wasn’t coming home that night so she would WAIL if she ever saw my scrubs. Took me a few weeks to figure it out. Anyhow, to this day, she gets very flustered if she ever sees scrubs so I don’t own them anymore.
— I am also a super arts fiend so a moderate amount of guilt happens if one of my nights at the theatre falls on a day when hubs won’t see them either but I can’t always pre-plan it. And if I go to the theatre with hubs, then obviously forget about it! But going out is part of what needs to happen for us to make it work so we do it.
HUGE thank you to M for being our guinea pig — I feel like I definitely learned a lot from M’s tips (and dang, the au pair sounds awesome)! Readers, what’s your biggest takeaway from M’s week?
Thank you M! I am a little late in commenting but found it helpful – always trying to work more hours into each day myself!
I am thankful every day that we live in Asia where live-in help is available and more importantly, affordable.
Today for e.g. the bub is having a mild fever from teething – which usually would mean an immediate pickup from child care. Instead, my helper is playing with him at home (and has insisted that I don’t have to rush back). I count my lucky stars every day…
Thank you M and Kat! I loved the expectation setting with the kids and how you’re still managing working out, drinks with hubs and brunch with friends.
Would appreciate more in this series as a FTM still on maternity leave.
These are fantastic! Such good insights.
This was fantastic. Thank you for sharing, and for being honest about days without kid-spotting.
I really love this. More please.
This is great! Among a host of other things, I love seeing that there are other women in the same boat as I am (ok, that’s why I love this s!te!). I work almost exclusively with men and coordinating schedules with other working women or working mothers has been tougher than it should be. Thanks for encouraging this at-times-isolated mama!
I love seeing this too!
I love this series! so interesting and inspiring to see how others do it.
I love this series and I love this post – this is REAL and mad respect to M for sharing her life and being open and honest, as helps the rest of us with similarly nutty lives. (hey, we all adore our kids and make it work – everyone needs different things.) gave me some good ideas as well – love the setting expectations part. there’s nights I get home too late to see my little one but I still always always go in, even when she’s sleeping, and kiss her goodnight. I think she knows.
Go, go, M! I’ve not fit in working out or many of the arts things I love, so hats off to you.
This is great. I would LOVE M’s au pair handbook. Our first one arrives next month.
I would also be interested to read about how M used au pairs (if at all) when kids were younger & not in school, since I know the hours au pairs work can be more limited than what you would need for full-time care.
This is great! I love how M has a non-standard 9-5 schedule and makes it work for her family! I am going to adopt the Sunday evening schedule email idea.
Thanks so much for sharing. I’d love to see a copy of that au pair manual! We’re trying an au pair next fall for the first time. We’re also in DC. It sounds amazing!
Love this new series! Thanks so much for sharing, M! Feels really good to see you prioritizing having a life, spending time with your partner,and working out in addition to everything else.