A Week in the Life of a Working Mom: Dr. Mom Edition
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For our first Week in the Life of a Working Mom series, I’m honored to introduce my friend M, who is a 40-year-old doctor based in Washington, D.C., and mom to two kids, 6 and 8. (In addition to hearing all about how this hospitalist’s work-life balance, you can also read her tips for fashion for doctors!)
Before we get to the nitty gritty of her life, I’m going to caveat this post with something I plan to preface all of these updates with: This is a real person who has feelings and isn’t gaining anything from this, unlike your usual friendly (soul-deadened, thick-skinned, cold-hearted, money-grubbing) blogger — so please be kind with any comments. Thank you! – Kat
If you’d like to be featured (anonymously or otherwise) for a “week in the life of a working mom” feature, please fill out this form here! Eventually, you can see all posts in this series here.
First, Some Basics about this Working Mom:
Name: M
Lives: Washington, D.C.
Job: Almost-full-time physician, between seeing patients and teaching
Age: 40
Home Situation:
1 husband, 2 kids (ages 6 & 8). Moved around A LOT pre-kids but have hunkered down for the past 7 years. We live in a 1950s ranch with a claustrophobic cluster of rooms in the most beautiful neighborhood in DC (biased). 4 bedrooms/3 bathrooms, the last bedroom for our au pair so we are guestroom-less.
What’s your childcare situation like?
Au pair! Life-changer. Started when I was a resident/husband was a firm attorney. Never going back to anything else as long as we need any form of childcare. Has given us amazing flexibility with both our parenting lives and our social lives. (Au pair staying in? Great, we put the kids to bed then head out for drinks on a random Tuesday night. That’s the best part. Plus the flexibility. Plus the kids learning new cultures. It has been all upside for us.)
(Kat’s note: We may circle back to M for more advice on au pairs, because when I asked her a follow up Q or two, she gushed about how she’s the poster child for au pairs — they’re on #4!
As for what M’s favorite resources are for au pairs, M said: “My favorite au pair resource is of my own creation: I put together this slightly insane handbook with rules, expectations, sample schedules, how to use the subway, favorite museums, neighbors names/photos, and send it to the girls before they get here. Helpful to be in a city like D.C. with so many au pairs– they often have better social lives than we do. “)
{related: working moms’ tips on how to manage au pairs}
If you’d like to be featured (anonymously or otherwise), please fill out this form! You can see all posts in this series here.
Last Week in My Life
Sunday
Wake up early for a non-working Sunday (7am) and go to my first Barre class ever. Couldn’t even hang with the warm-up. Everyone else home sleeping/chilling. Come home to hubs making breakfast — he makes all meals on weekends and otherwise when home. In-laws visiting, confused by our schedule. Son to a birthday party 11-12:30pm then everyone to go see a crazy juggling show at a local arts venue that I love to patron 3p-4:15p. Find the nearest elementary school to kill some time before dinner. (Playgrounds aren’t fun with my broken-wristed daughter.) Dinner out with the 6 of us, lots of negotiations on whether dessert included. After kids asleep, assemble schedule for the rest of the week and email to all parties involved (spouse, au pair, in-laws, cc: myself) re: who is picking up, dropping off, commitments at schools, lessons, book fairs, book reports due, etc.
(Kat’s note: M emailed me her schedule and it’s awesome — it lets the au pair know exactly when she’s working (down to the minutes, like 7:25-8:45, then 3:30-10 or 3:30-7 or whatever) lets the au pair know what’s flexible (for example, on days when M may be able to do pick-up instead of her) as well as who’s working/out of the house during which hours.)
Monday
4:30am alarm to get to work. Insane work day. Actually scramble like mad to get all my work done because my 8yo needs see orthopedist to get cast. 2:30pm – pick up daughter from school. 2:50pm – at ortho (early! winning! I peed and got a snack!). 3:10pm – 8yo screaming not from pain but b/c ortho delivers “bad” news that no cast, just a great removable brace cast — she is devastated b/c she wants a cast that her friends can sign. Lots of negotiating while ortho looks on — figure out we can use jelly roll pens or metallic sharpies for signing. Crisis averted. Home by 4:45pm. Au pair takes care of dinner for herself, kids. Not sure what everyone else does but I write notes from 4:45-6pm. Kids have piano lessons until bedtime. I go to bed pretty soon after them. Husband teaches class until 10pm.
Tuesday
5:15am alarm, work by 6:30am. Au pair gets kids ready every morning whoever is home or not home so she does her routine with the kids — to school at 8:20am. Hubs leaves at 7:30am. Kids get picked up by au pair after a school activity, snack. Kids eat at 6-6:15pm without fail. We can’t usually do dinner as a family but I’m over any guilt about it (just like the guilt about not nursing for a full year! Making up for it with hugs/kisses/attention otherwise.) I’m home by 6:40pm but did all my work at the hospital so no residual stress from the day on that front. Ordered a pre-cooked dinner which gets delivered for me. Kids in bed at 8pm. Husband home at 8:30pm. Catch up on email tasks, organizing someone to clean our gutters, getting a refund on some missed lessons, etc. + 1 load of laundry.
Wednesday
Day off! Still have au pair get kids up and lunches packed while I get ready. I always take them to school on my days off but au pair affords us the luxury of not having to do some of the dirty work like nagging about tooth brushing. Two on two or sometimes having three on two (adults to kids) is helpful for sanity. Lovely walk to school. I get to be the mystery reader for 6-year-old’s class. Coveted spot, lucky it worked with my schedule. Me time — yoga for 1.5 hours then shop, returns, errands, grocery run. My first mammogram (TMI?) was a breeze. Home to pick up kids @ 3:15pm, playground it up, have 8-year-old pretend she doesn’t have homework to get an extra 20 minutes. Au pair gets dinner ready at usual time. Out for drinks with hubs. 1 load of laundry pre-bedtime.
Read about the rest of M’s week on the next page!
Thank you M! I am a little late in commenting but found it helpful – always trying to work more hours into each day myself!
I am thankful every day that we live in Asia where live-in help is available and more importantly, affordable.
Today for e.g. the bub is having a mild fever from teething – which usually would mean an immediate pickup from child care. Instead, my helper is playing with him at home (and has insisted that I don’t have to rush back). I count my lucky stars every day…
Thank you M and Kat! I loved the expectation setting with the kids and how you’re still managing working out, drinks with hubs and brunch with friends.
Would appreciate more in this series as a FTM still on maternity leave.
These are fantastic! Such good insights.
This was fantastic. Thank you for sharing, and for being honest about days without kid-spotting.
I really love this. More please.
This is great! Among a host of other things, I love seeing that there are other women in the same boat as I am (ok, that’s why I love this s!te!). I work almost exclusively with men and coordinating schedules with other working women or working mothers has been tougher than it should be. Thanks for encouraging this at-times-isolated mama!
I love seeing this too!
I love this series! so interesting and inspiring to see how others do it.
I love this series and I love this post – this is REAL and mad respect to M for sharing her life and being open and honest, as helps the rest of us with similarly nutty lives. (hey, we all adore our kids and make it work – everyone needs different things.) gave me some good ideas as well – love the setting expectations part. there’s nights I get home too late to see my little one but I still always always go in, even when she’s sleeping, and kiss her goodnight. I think she knows.
Go, go, M! I’ve not fit in working out or many of the arts things I love, so hats off to you.
This is great. I would LOVE M’s au pair handbook. Our first one arrives next month.
I would also be interested to read about how M used au pairs (if at all) when kids were younger & not in school, since I know the hours au pairs work can be more limited than what you would need for full-time care.
This is great! I love how M has a non-standard 9-5 schedule and makes it work for her family! I am going to adopt the Sunday evening schedule email idea.
Thanks so much for sharing. I’d love to see a copy of that au pair manual! We’re trying an au pair next fall for the first time. We’re also in DC. It sounds amazing!
Love this new series! Thanks so much for sharing, M! Feels really good to see you prioritizing having a life, spending time with your partner,and working out in addition to everything else.