This post may contain affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
My oldest loved wearing dresses year-round so we went through a lot of tights. These tights from Gap were my favorite.
These soft stretch tights can handle any active toddler. They’re made with over 70% organic cotton, and have a comfy elastic waist and reinforced toe and heel. I personally find the bear graphic adorable. They’re on the thicker side so they’re better for cooler weather (and less likely to run or rip).
A two-pack is $25 at Gap, but often on sale. They come in combinations of navy/gray, black/white, and pink/white. They’re available in sizes 12-24M to 4-5YRS.
Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
Cost to raise children says
Did anyone else read this article “Children Can Cost Parents a Fortune or Not So Much” published today in the WSJ? Link to follow. It talks about the different average costs of childcare, and suggests that for many people childcare is free because a family member or parent takes care of the children and hiring help is not necessary. (Wow! You can save so much money by having someone stay at home, why doesn’t everyone do that?!) The article totally ignores the opportunity cost that represents when one spouse doesn’t work. I do think stay-at-home moms (or dads) should be valued for what they do, and they are often taken for granted, but I feel like articles like this are intentionally written to pat conservative readers on the back and validate their view that traditional gender roles are morally superior. This is a publication focused on the financial side of things, yet the article actually doesn’t take an accurate look at the bigger financial picture of household income and things like childcare. It also doesn’t seem to recognize that having two working parents can be a compassionate, logical, responsible choice, and that it’s what a vast majority of married parents do these days.
Cost to raise children says
https://www.wsj.com/articles/children-can-cost-parents-a-fortune-or-not-so-much-11661506202?mod=hp_featst_pos3
GCA says
Oh, completely. The white men in the comments section are putting in some uncharacteristically delightful comments about opportunity cost.
Anon says
Yeah, that’s frustrating.
Also kids of SAHMs still need to go to college! I guess parents can choose not to pay. But it’s not exactly breaking news that kids are a lot cheaper if you don’t give them opportunities.
Anon says
I laughed at their headline last week that raising a child now costs $300k. Get real WSJ – we’ll spend that much in basic non-fancy daycare costs alone for one child by the start of kindergarten. (Everyone talks about food deserts but childcare deserts are a thing too: even in our affluent urban area we had two options available to us and waitlists and tuition costs are insane at both).
Anon says
Daycare costs an average of $60k/year for one child!? That seems like an exaggeration.
anon says
NP. Depending on their birthdate, their kid may go to kindergarten at almost 6. That’s another year of daycare, pushing the average closer to $50k per year. That’s a reasonable estimate in this area.
Anon says
For one kid? I have friends in the Bay Area and NYC, and they only had to pay $25-30k per kid. And that was for infant care, and costs go down from there. I get $60k for two, but I’ve never heard of anyone who had to pay more than $30k per year per child.
NYC says
We were quoted approx 3600/mo per kid for basic daycare in our neighborhood in NYC
Anon says
Enh I don’t think it’s an exaggeration. I know some of my coworkers are paying mid-50s per kid, and based on which place that is and the other options I bet there are plenty of others paying more.
HSAL says
It’s so linked to your area, though. We spent 43K/year for three kids in a MCOL Midwest city. I’m guessing it’s close to 20K/year for an infant now, maybe up to 25K at the fanciest centers.
Anon says
Could you make an archive link at the Wayback Machine and post it so non-subscribers can read it? I would be very grateful!
Cb says
We received dry ice in a meal kit delivery box and oh my goodness, there’s the afternoon sorted. Although as a political scientist, I’m mortally wounded by my son’s “We’re doing PROPER science…”
Anonymous says
Fellow social scientist here. I share your indignation.
My boss, who has a degree in experimental psychology, once did a randomized controlled experiment to test her children’s hypothesis that Chick Fil A nuggets were superior to all others. She thought they were really in it for the ice cream that you get by turning in the book from the kids’ meal, but it turned out that yes they actually liked the nuggets best.
Anon says
I love Chik Fil A chicken. It really is a lot better than other fast food brands.
Cb says
Amazing! His nursery did child-led research with the kids, and it’s incredible how intuitively children understand scientific methods. Need an analysis of the UK Conservative party, I’m your girl. Chemical reactions, I’m just parroting what the homeschooling youtuber told me…
GCA says
Child-led research! I’m starting to see why the UK outranks the US in those math and science PISA rankings…but jokes aside, that does sound adorable. And yes, dry ice is so much fun!
Curious says
Parents of kids who’ve had RSV: toddler has had an evening fever for 7 days. Super plegmy, productive cough but occasionally it seems like the phlegm gets stuck in her throat and she wheezes and gags and chokes and cries. She was pretty hard to console for about half an hour last night. Virtual visit with not our usual ped yesterday, and he was like yeah, this is normal, I’m not too worried about bronchitis, wait it out til 10 days of fever. But the nighttime coughing keeps getting worse. Am I overreacting to ask to have her seen in person today?
Allie says
I’m pretty aggressive about doing Friday visits (just made one in fact) because if I wait until Monday that’s another week of work affected, so I’d rather risk the Friday visiting being a nothing than have to wait until Monday.
Curious says
This is kind of what I was thinking. I don’t think she’s currently severely ill (we’re not seeing retraction under the ribs, etc.), but I just don’t know how much longer we can wait and hope it doesn’t get worse. Thank you.
Anonymous says
Generally I err on the side of taking them in on a Friday because I don’t want to have to deal with urgent care if things worsen over the weekend.
Anonymous says
I say taking a sick kid to a doctor in person is never overreacting. I have dealt with a load of these types of infections over the past few months. None of them ended up being RSV, but they were very similar. My son was hospitalized and on oxygen for one of them (he was only 2 months old though). My daughter (3 years old) had symptoms like you describe and it was very hard on her. Keeping super hydrated, using saline nasal spray, and nasal suctioning were the only things that helped. We tried to get her to drink some warm water with honey to help the cough– my daughter refused it, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
Is your daughter old enough to try an at-home pulse oximeter? That might give you peace of mind.
Curious says
I’m so sorry about your son and daughter! That’s really rough.
Anonymous says
No. RSV isn’t something to mess around with. I’d want my kiddo seen so they can observe her breathing. DD had RSV at 15 months, and she was right on the line of being admitted based on how her ribs looked when she breathed. It was terrifying, but fortunately she turned the corner quickly. Trust your gut and go in.
Anonymous says
We fired our first pediatrician for missing pneumonia when she didn’t listen to kiddo’s lungs when we took her in for a fever. I now insist on in-person visits for anything respiratory.
Curious says
Thank you. We have an appointment for 4 pm today.
Anon says
I’d take them in but caveat that RSV isn’t necessarily a big deal depending on age. Over 18 monthsish it’s super common and not something to worry about. It’s the littles who are the problem (truly dangerous). I learned a lot about this when my two year old got RSV – and gave it to the baby.
Anon says
Our RSV experience was mild, but with a fever for 7 days I’d suspect a secondary bacterial infection like bronchitis. Fever is common in the fist few days of just about any virus, but it doesn’t normally stick around for a week or more in my experience.
Anonymous says
One of my best friends is an extremely thoughtful gift-giver. She just had her first baby and I am struggling to think of something to give her to commemorate this important milestone. I’ve already given a practical gift (a nice diaper bag, a nice water bottle for postpartum, and some high quality baby clothes that she wanted). I would now like to find something sentimental to give her/her baby. Do you have any go-to gifts to welcome a new baby for someone who means a lot to you? My friend works with disadvantaged groups and appreciates high quality, but not flashy items.
Anon says
Budget?
If you’re willing to spend a chunk of change, I really love my birthstone/initial necklace from Haverill.
Anonymous says
This may not be as big or impressive as you are looking for, but I like to give a copy of a lesser-known book that our family loved, inscribed with a personal note.
Anon says
Oh i love this idea! My grandmother used to write a note in every book she gave me and then most of our relatives followed suit and it’s been so fun visiting my parents and coming across those books and reading them to my kids
anonM says
suggestion: You Belong Here by MH Clark. Grab a tissue. It’s beautifully written and illustrated.
Anon says
I just gave my sister one of those handwriting bracelets that says ‘love mom’ in our late mother’s handwriting. What did she give you?
Anonymous says
Most recently she got one of the personalized books about adding a new brother to the family for my daughter to commemorate the arrival of my son. She also got a decorative wooden train that spells my son’s name. This is in addition to a lot of baby boy clothes, which is what I told people I needed for the new baby since I had most of what I needed otherwise.
anon says
Does she want another thing? What meant the most to me when I had an infant and was feeling down was a friend who volunteered to come by for a morning coffee date and brought two coffees, pastries, fruit, and flowers. We visited for a couple of hours while admiring the baby. That visit is more memorable to me now than any gift I received.
Anonymous says
Yea, I think her love language is the gifting one. Unfortunately she lives across the country in an area not close to an airport (doing important work with people in need) and I just returned to work from my own maternity leave, so I can’t easily go visit. I really, really wish I could! I’m going to try to make the journey sometime next spring.
Wallflower says
An LL Bean canvas tote in the Large size personalized with the child’s name. More utilitarian than sentimental but we use it every day, for daycare and weekend trips, even more than our diaper bag
Anon says
AHH THIS IS WHAT WE GIVE! And we’re like the only ones I know of. So funny.
Except i’m annoyed about the new boat and tote ironic names trend. I feel they’ve coopted my standard baby gift.
Seafinch says
I got one in every single side they make with our last name on it as a wedding present. Best gift ever which I now happily copy.
Anon says
Newborn session with professional photographer.
familydinner says
How old are your kids and do you eat a family dinner? Did you always or did you start once kids are older? Did you growing up?
Anon says
My kid is almost 5 now, but we’ve always eaten dinner together. I also had family dinners growing up. It’s important to us and for now at least we prioritize it over evening activities. We have flexible jobs and my husband primarily worked from home even before the pandemic, which definitely makes things easier (we all eat at 5:30ish).
Anonymous says
Kids are 7 and 10. Eat a family dinner and always have even when twins were just sitting next to the table in a bassinet. Both DH and I grew up eating family dinners.
Anon says
My kids are 7, 4 and 1 and we do family dinner every night (other than Friday – we make pizza at home and feed the kids then my husband and I eat in front of the TV after bedtime.) We have basically done this since the oldest was born, but we’ve always had a later schedule. Dinner is never before 7 and often more like 7:30/7:45, then we do bedtime. It’s not a lovely enchanted experience most nights, but we all eat better when we make one meal and I’m glad we are in the habit.
I did not do this growing up but my husband did and it’s an important value for our family. Dinner is much more than shoveling in calories, and when we feed the kids separately it seems like we are communicating the latter (for us – but maybe that’s because the occasional nights we eat separately seem to be rushed evenings to begin with).
Anon says
I grew up eating family dinner once my sister was 5 and I was 8 – 5 nights a week. Tuesdays my dad worked late and Saturdays my parents usually went out with another couple. Prior to that our nanny fed us before our parents got home, but we’d sit with them and eat a snack while they ate their dinner. With our own family, i eat dinner with the kids most nights but DH is still at work, so we eat family dinner like 1-2 nights a week. I wish it was more but the kids eat at 5, so it just isn’t feasible right now
Anon960 says
One child, 22 months, due in January with our 2nd.
We eat family dinner every night (occasionally my husband will be working late or traveling, but otherwise, every night). Dinner is 615/630pm. We have been since she started solids at 6 months. Obviously when she first started on solids, we ate different foods, but since she was about 11/12 months, we all eat the same thing.
We ate dinner as a family growing up, except when someone’s activity interfered.
Cb says
Son is 5, and we have family dinner. Son and husband eat together 80% of the time when I’m away, but sometimes if kid is hangry, he’ll feed him and then make dinner after bedtime. Absolutely no phones or TV on, but sometimes we’ll call a grandparent. We typically have breakfast and lunch together on the weekends.
We had family dinner growing up (also an only child) and went out for dinner on Fridays. But we are embarrassingly fast eaters – one course, water only, so it was a 10 minute affair. My poor husband remembers being dragged out of a restaurant while chugging down his wine.
Anon says
My dad came home at 5:30pm like clockwork and we always ate at 6pm. Our short list of extracurricular activities usually did not interfere with dinner. My husband’s family always ate dinner together too. Probably feasible because our parents had predictable hours. It’s something we value but doesn’t always happen depending on DH’s work schedule.
Toddler (20 months) eats dinner around 5:30pm (bedtime is 7:30). If DH is home by then, then he joins us. Otherwise it’s just me (I WFH most days) and the kiddo. I would say 4 or 5 days out of 7 we can eat as a family.
We also eat breakfast together almost everyday. It helps that kiddo wakes up at 6:30 and we all eat the same thing: blueberry oatmeal. We are usually out the door by 7:45.
Anon. says
Kids are 2 and 5. We eat family dinner together probably 5 nights a week assuming neither parent is traveling. The other nights we feed the kids early and have grownup dinner after bed, but we try to sit at the table with the kids even if we’re not eating. Both of us grew up with family dinners most nights. That said, we’re not yet in the activity/sports phase yet so I imagine it will look different in a few years.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
4.5 and 20 months. I usually eat with them, and DH tends to eat on his own later as he’s usually working/home later.
When DS #1 was younger and an only, he’d eat around 6 PM and then we’d eat later, but now I really prefer eating dinner earlier.
We had family dinners growing up but it wasn’t a thing the way I read about it here and in modern parenting. I also remember a lot of nights where my brother and I would sit at the table eating dinner, while my Dad sat in the living room watching Seinfield, and my Mom would eat even later so she didn’t have to deal with all of us! We also ate dinner on the later side (~8 PM) because my parents grew up eating a later dinner, which is still common in their country of origin.
anonM says
Kids are 2 and 4, yes to family dinner. Always have done it. I did it growing up (except as we got older and had sports conflicts, etc.). The kids don’t sit down perfectly but I do sit down to eat. We also usually do “high/low” and share our high point and challenge of the day. Honestly, the sitting down part might only be 10 minutes but I’m glad we do it.
Anonymous says
My kid is 3 and we do not do family dinner. I get home with kid around 6, serve kid dinner around 6:30 — I hang out with him while he eats and maybe have a snack too. DH gets home around 7:15 and we start the bedtime routine at 7:30 (usually DH does it while I prep adult dinner). DH and I eat dinner together around 8:30. I’d like to start doing family dinner soon, but either kid will need to go to bed later or we’ll need to stop working earlier in the evening to manage it, and we haven’t figured that out yet.
Anon says
Kid is 5. We do not typically eat family dinner because she eats like 20 foods. We do ask her to sit with us a couple of times a week when the grown-ups eat (when she eats she likes to be alone and silent and watch her tablet because it’s right after a full day of school and she needs some decompression time). Grownups often usually eat later (think 8 or later) because of schedules, and it’s not fair to her to make her wait that long to eat. I did not eat a family dinner growing up (mom didn’t cook much, 3 kids in extracurriculars, dad traveled a lot for work so the closest thing we got were weekend restaurant dinners as a family) and I do not appear to have suffered any ill effects. I think it’s important to have a good connection point during the day, but it doesn’t need to revolve around food or be dinner. I usually sit kiddo in the kitchen while I am cooking dinner to have her tell me about her day. DH always ate dinner with his mom because it was just the two of them while his dad traveled, but a run through a fast food drive through was a regular occurrence for them so isn’t exactly what I picture when I think family dinner.
Anon says
Oh, I said we did family dinner together, but we also have a crazy picky eater who mostly eats different food than we do. To me, family dinner means sitting down as a family and eating at the same time, not that you all eat the same dish.
startup lawyer says
Son is 3 and we’ve always had dinner together. he keeps a late schedule so even as a 1 yo, we ate together around 630-7.
Tara says
My family ate family dinner pretty much every day except for when I had late swim practice in middle / high school – mom dad and my sister still ate together.
Oops says
Just to be a counterpoint here, kids are 7, 6,3 and almost 1 and we only do family dinner Friday through Sunday. For that matter, we don’t really do family breakfast. I’ll sit down with the kids while they’re eating usually but we feed them at 5:30ish and DH isn’t home yet. He actually doesn’t believe other families do family dinner, but I keep telling him it’s a thing!
When he does get home we go outside and play until time for shower, books, bed so we’re still getting quality time. Works for us at this phase of our lives?
Anonymous says
I have posted this before, but I am just too lazy to deal with preparing, serving, and cleaning up separate dinners. We have been doing family dinner since kiddo was born. She sat in a bouncy seat and watched us eat until she started solids, then we’d give her finger foods on the high chair tray while we ate our dinner. Family dinner is now served very early some days and very late other days to accommodate everyone’s schedules, but it happens daily.
Lise says
22 months, and we do family dinner about 5 nights per week. Twice a week, we’ll have at-home date night after he’s in bed.
Anonymous says
4 and 7, yes family dinner every night and always have. Just now we are getting to things like 5:30 pm swim lessons (I can’t believe this is a real thing for a 4 year old with a 7 pm bedtime but it’s the only slot we could get) so I’ll be looking on this board for tips on how to juggle it. I definitely had family dinner every night growing up through high school, even if it was sometimes “eat at the JCC cafe after swim team.”
AwayEmily says
Kids are 6, 4, and six months and yes we do family dinner, at around 5:30. Sometimes we all eat the same thing, sometimes we do not, but we always sit together for at least 20 minutes (we use a sand timer, in fact — nobody is allowed to get up until the timer finishes). Sometimes the dinners are lovely, sometimes everyone cries and complains. Sometimes the kids are gracious and polite, sometimes they have to be told twenty times to put their knees down and stop putting spoons in their cup.
SC says
I have one kid, 7 yo. We eat family dinner almost every night. It’s basically the only thing that DH and I are “strict” about–Kiddo has to come to the table, can’t play with toys or screens at the table, and mostly has to sit until everyone is finished eating. Every now and then, we have a “casual” night, which means we eat on our own schedule, at the bar or on the couch.
We started when Kiddo was about 3.5, when we moved into our current house. Having family dinner was one of our main reasons for moving from our apartment, which only had an island with 2 barstools and didn’t have room for a proper table. One weekend, we had a huge family day, where we took the ferry and met friends at a playground and ate pizza in a restaurant and bought chocolate. And on the way home, our happy, tired kid said his favorite part was the restaurant because we all sat together. I insisted we start looking for a house. (Don’t worry though, my kid now asks to get out of dinner at least 5 times per week.)
I definitely did not have family dinner every night growing up. My parents were busy, and my dad specifically had a job (minister) that required him or all of us to be at church and/or with church people on evenings and weekends.
Anon says
For those with kids with ADHD, could you tell at age 4? I’ve read the signs, which are all pretty typical preschooler behavior, but it feels like my kids is a little more intense in these things. I don’t have a lot of reference points for what is typical though since he’s my first, so looking for anecdata (and have a call scheduled with the ped in a couple weeks, but not sure it’s necessary).
Anon says
A generic ped will most likely be worthless. I wouldn’t even waste your time with a phone call. The only hope is going to a developmental ped or neurospsychologist, but they’re reluctant to diagnose at this age, because as you noted it’s hard to separate ADHD behaviors from normal preschool behavior. My understanding is that it’s also hard to get a diagnosis (especially at a young age) if it’s not causing problems at school. I also have a 4 year old and strongly suspect an ADHD diagnosis is in our future but have been told there’s nothing to do at this age but wait.
Anonymous says
I didn’t suspect it until around age 8, but there were always sensory sensitivities and hyperfocus that I attributed to the much earlier diagnosis of exceptional giftedness. This child has inattentive type ADHD, not hyperactive.
Anon says
Hi – not answering your question directly, bit navigating some (seemingly minor) developmental stuff with my 20 month old. I would agree with the poster above – my ped herself said her specialty is strep throat, ear infections, etc. and she defers to specialists on developmental things. If you are part of an integrated delivery system (like Kaiser) your general ped may be better in helping navigate this.
As someone who works on the business side of healthcare and is also a busy parent this is annoying AF that general peds aren’t the SME but I get that these ped neuros/dev folks (that often have long waitlists, even in my major city) trained for these questions…
Anon says
I suspect with my 4-year-old, too, but I will say that now that he’s about to turn 5 I have seen some “improvements,” so I’m sure typical preschool behavior is/was compounding it.
Mine is very sensitive and intense in his emotions – after a minor correction he has an explosive, destructive meltdown that only ends once he begins sobbing and declaring himself “the worst boy in the world.” He also has trouble staying on task, with transitions, speaks slowly and loses his train of thought, etc, but the emotion regulation part is one of the biggest red flags for me and has not improved with maturity.
I’ve also heard a diagnosis is hard at this point, so I’m kind of just assuming he has it and seeking out parenting resources as such – the strategies used for kids with ADHD can really be helpful with any struggling child
Anon says
I had strong suspicions around 4 or 5, but ped advised us to wait until after first grade (they’re young for their grade, and many kids will grow in maturity and behavior through the first grade year). In the meantime, we just worked with teachers to try to give them the best chance at succeeding – using wiggle cushions, small fidget toys, several movement breaks, and stuff at home like playing on the playground for 15 minutes before school to help get more exercise and creating routines and checklists.
Within the first week or two of second grade, it was obvious that it was still more intense than others. We, along with ped and teachers, felt pretty confident it wasn’t a learning behavior issue or other underlying cause, so we were more easily able to pinpoint the issue. Because we had a history of what non-medication approaches worked and didn’t, we were able to have a better discussion on what treatments and tools would be most helpful, and work together as a team.
I think the key (before diagnosis but even after) is to work with your child’s teacher to talk through the strengths and challenges you see, ask if they have ideas on what would help, and have regular check-ins to see what needs to adapt. Establish that you want to partner with them, and support their efforts at home, so everyone has the best chance at a good year.
Anonymous says
I have ADHD, so it is quite likely my kid will too. But either way, I plan to teach the same strategies and methods I use to adapt and cope with mine, because even without ADHD, learning to work with your own brain is beneficial. No kid suffers because you give them timers and warnings that they will have to switch tasks soon and plenty of routine.
Anon says
Right there with you. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult, so I learned coping mechanisms and strategies before I had the name for why my brain was great at some things and crap at others. Receiving the diagnosis as an adult – after a pretty successful college career and getting through law school – was helpful, but I tried (and hated) medication so I’m mostly just doing the same things I’ve always done to be as efficient and effective as a can be with the brain that I have. If my kids end up with a diagnosis (likely) I certainly won’t eschew meds if its going to be a game changer, but it doesn’t hurt now to concentrate on work habits, timers, routines, etc. with appropriate brain breaks / creative outlets / exercise time to just let that ADHD brain go wild from time to time.
Anonymous says
We are very similar. I also got diagnosed as an adult after law school. I’m still just starting to experiment with medication. So far I have no side effects, but also very little benefit. Trying higher doses and different types next. Either way though, the diagnosis makes it so much easier to be kind to myself when my brain isn’t doing things the ‘normal’ way. Thats the part I most want to pass on to my daughter, ADHD or not.
Anon says
Not a parent of an ADHD kid but my sister is a child psychologist and has said that 4 is typically the absolute youngest she’ll diagnose ADHD. She prefers to wait until ages 5-6 to give an official diagnosis for ADHD unless there are extremely obvious signs (she mentioned some to me but now I’m blanking on what they are).
SC says
My son has ADHD with a high degree of impulsivity. I don’t know that we had an official ADHD diagnosis at age 4, but we started stimulant medication at age 4.5, and it made a difference. I agree that many of his ADHD behaviors are “typical” of all kids, but it’s a matter of degree and intensity–you can spend time around him and know that it’s not like being around neurotypical kids. I think he’s an extreme example though. At 4, the negative behaviors we were dealing with included aggression (biting, kicking, hitting, scratching), self-harm (hitting his own head on the floor), throwing toys, ripping books apart, screaming, meltdowns over everything. We started play therapy, individual therapy, and occupational therapy around age 3, so we’d been doing that stuff for about a year. And it was really starting to affect Kiddo’s self-esteem because he felt like he couldn’t control himself. His psychologist referred us to a psychiatrist for medication.
7 Year Old Sleep Issues? says
My 7 year old started waking in the night and running into our room about 6 months ago. I initially chalked it up to a scary TV show, and once we stopped the show, it got better. But it is back with a vengeance, and she can’t consistently articulate why: bad dream, thinking about a scary book we read that day, room is too dark, no reason. We’ve started taking her back to her room, but the goal is to have her sleep through the night on her own. She’s also asking for sleep crutches, like listening to an audiobook or music to fall asleep. She insists on a night light and a soft lamp on, although I think her room is too bright and interfering with sleep. She was a great sleeper until this. Anyone else had late-onset sleep issues and any success stories?
Anonymous says
Not with my kids but with myself as a kid. For me as a kid, in retrospect, (a) I don’t think I got enough exercise or movement in my day and (b) could have used better support with anxiety . Adding exercise might be an easy thing to try. My own kids need SO MUCH RUNNING in order to sleep well at night too, but aren’t having the kind of issues you describe. Some of the things like light on might suggest some anxiety or worry, snd if you think that might be one of the factors I might go down the road of overall support with anxiety.
Anonymous says
My 5 year old went through this phase. I know 7 is different than 5, but I’ll tell you what worked for us. Let her leave the light on. My kid leaves his light on, dimmed, and has a salt lamp as a “night light”. Sometimes I turn it off when I go to bed, sometimes not. It does not affect his sleep. If he does wake up, he’s allowed to come into our room and sleep in his sleeping bag next to our bed. That way I can still sleep and he can get back to sleep. We also started kenneling the dog I. His room and that seems to help. That may not be an option for you but wanted to mention it. Another thing that was effective but onerous was promising to check on him at intervals before I went to bed. I don’t see any reason to not allow a podcast for bed. A friend with chronic sleep issues has her husband read to her or listens to a podcast to help her get to sleep.
Anonymous says
I have a podcast on almost every night. I have for years. It calms my brain and distracts me from getting into thought spirals. I download enough to last the whole night. Often is it ones I’ve ‘listened’ to before. I’ve gotten good at sleeping with one headphone and half-consciously moving it from ear to ear when I flip over in the night.
Liza says
+1. I have anxiety and for YEARS couldn’t sleep because of thought spirals. I discovered falling asleep with an Airpod in listening to Stuff You Should Know about 6ish months ago. Literally life-changing. And yes, the morning hunt for the Airpod is always funny, as I’ve inevitably taken it out and shoved it somewhere random in the bed sometime in the night.
Anonymous says
Headspace sleep casts!! I love them so much.
anon says
Our 6.5 yo does this most nights. After she gets up to potty she comes in to snuggle. If asked, she’ll tell us she was “scared.” She just curls up and goes right to sleep so we don’t fight it. We figure she’ll grow out of it eventually. We’d obviously be in a different place if it was interrupting our sleep or she didn’t seem rested.
Tights says
DD wears dresses year round, but I am team leggings rather than tights. So much easier to put on, take off, not worry about snags and her shoes fit better with normal socks. About half of her leggings match her dresses; the other half just coordinate.
Anon says
Same, except we make no attempt to match the leggings to the dress.
BelleRose says
My sister and I grew up wearing mostly dresses, and we had “under-dress shorts”. Basically kid-sized bicycle shorts to wear under dresses. I especially had sensory issues with tights and leggings — wasn’t until I started shaving my legs that I could wear them.
(TBH, I still wear “under-dress shorts” to combat chafing and to add an emergency pocket….)
Anon says
Ugh. Got in a fight with DH last night over something he said. This morning I got a “I’m sorry you felt slighted” from him. Which, to be fair, him recognizing and acknowledging my feelings on this is an important baby step, uggggggh why are men so stupid sometimes.
BelleRose says
uggggggh hugs and commiseration!!!
anon says
Happy Friday ya’ll! I’m a new mom looking into day care options for 2023. Interested in your experiences with a day care center vs an in-home day care. I have moms in my life who use both and like them for different reasons. I like the idea of in-home because its more exposure to different age groups, more of a consistent age group, more consistent care-giver who gets to know your child, comfortable home environment. However, it seems you also have to accommodate for the in-home provider’s idiosyncracies, like having to shut down for a week because provider’s spouse was having surgery, or the provider has a planned vacation. The center it seems would avoid these scheduling issues but have more staff and kid turnover.
Anon says
I’ve only used a nanny and a center, so I can’t compare in-home daycare. I was personally not super comfortable with in-home places and we didn’t even tour them. I’m sure there are great ones, but I feel like there’s a bare minimum level of care you expect from a center, especially a big name one where it would be national news if something bad happens, that isn’t guaranteed at an in-home place, even a licensed one (licensing in my state seems like a really low bar – so basically a necessary but not sufficient condition). I also like the redundancy of staff that most daycare centers have. It seems to me that a child is much less likely to get abused or mistreated if there are 2 or more adults in the room at all times, and I like that our daycare center maintains more than the minimum ratio of staff so that if a staff member is really losing their cool and needs a break they can immediately tap out without needing to wait for someone to come and replace them.
As far as your feelings, they’re valid and you should definitely listen to your gut if you think an in-home environment sounds better. I will tell you my daughter’s daycare center is fairly mixed age groups (it’s not like newborns to kindergarten in one room, but there’s one room for 0-2 and two rooms for 3-5, etc) and while there are new faces every year, every time she’s moved to a room she’s had a cohort of kids from the same room go with her. The teachers also rotate a lot (except during Covid restrictions), so by the time she was 3 she knew most of the teachers in the school at least a little bit. So we’ve never had the experience of moving to a new room and knowing no one.
As far as the consistency of care point, I’m not sure one is objectively better. A nanny or in-home care will have more caregiver unavailability, but your child will have more illness in a daycare center and some centers have quite a few days off too (mine is closed for major holidays, a handful of teacher workdays, a week at Christmas and two weeks over the summer).
Anon says
We’ve had our kids in a center starting in 2014 and love: (1) coverage in case a teacher gets sick or has a baby or her own; (2) lots of planned fun activities / field trips; (3) a cafeteria so I never had to pack meals; (4) sense of community with so many other working moms. Now that most of my kids are in elem school in a community with a ton of SAHMs, I really miss that comradery.
Also – and I realize it’s a unicorn situation – we actually chose our center because of staff consistency. Many of the primary classroom teachers have been there for decades. Sure, there’s a lot of turnover with the assistants and so forth but the I don’t think any of my kids ever had a main classroom teacher leave. They moved rooms every year to 18 months or so.
EDAnon says
We also were at a center with consistent staff. My son started at 1 and just graduated. Many teachers have been there the whole time.
I like centers for safety and teacher training too. We only went to the best-rated centers. The teachers were well-versed in safety, care, and education. And there was never only one adult around – if there was ever an emergency, there were other adults available to help (watch kids, call for help, etc.)
Anon says
We had our kid at an in-home daycare for a month before he started at his formal daycare. We were not thrilled with the in-home daycare. I realize that this has more to do with this specific person than the concept of in-home daycare overall, however.
— Less transparency– There just isn’t as much transparency about what goes on. Like we didn’t really realize DS was sleeping in a swing and weren’t getting great information on his naps, etc.
— Hours– DH and I both felt like we were inconveniencing the nanny if we were the first or last ones there. So we kept feeling like we needed to pick up DS early. I don’t feel this way at my daycare center.
— Illness– There were not strict rules on illness. So, one day two kids were there all day with diarrhea. We were also not told about it. DH just happened to hear another parent talking with her about it at pick up. Luckily, DS didn’t catch it, but the nanny had no rules on pick up or staying home with illness, etc., so was just relying on families to act appropriately. At our center, parents have to pick up sick kids in 30 minutes and keep them home with diarrhea, etc.
— Predictability– As you mentioned, a daycare typically has more predictable hours and days open. Our daycare gives us a schedule at the beginning of each school year. They do have breaks and a few days off, but I can plan around them and they are typically near holidays.
Anonymous says
I have used both and loved them both. The in-home (licensed) that we used for our first kid ages 6 months to 16 months was AMAZING. Babies to age 5 but just a handful of kids . Two women, with specific licensed back up subs (the owner’s husband and adult children – I was much more comfortable knowing all adults in the home were licensed and background checks etc). I loved the mixed age room for a baby, loved that she had separate nap areas, could provide a lot of 1:1 care, etc. We provided food but she also occasionally fed our kid good home cooked Sri Lankan food. Kiddo almost never got sick there – she kept everything sooo clean. I don’t think he missed a day for illness. We moved and enrolled on a center in our new location. In some ways it’s nicer not needing to deal as closely with the owner on day to day issues, and for preschool ages I think I do prefer a larger center with a larger peer group (ours would have been bored to be the only 4 year old with a bunch of babies/toddlers). Center has more variety in locations (regular room, indoor playground, outdoor playground, trikes room, all the synagogue rooms, woods, etc) and more room for physical activity, which if you have very active kids is a huge thing. At the one we’ve used for preschool age care, the staff have a lot of knowledge about child development and early education and there is very good staff longevity. Our second child was in a much smaller, for profit center (started as an in home but was larger than that by now- run out of a house but the entire house was the business, no one lived there)- it was TERRIBLE and we left as soon as we could. Continuing rotation of 19 year olds making minimum wage who never stayed long and didn’t interact much with the babies. More illness at both centers we have used than the in home. For in homes I would review the licensing paperwork and any findings (actually I’d do this for centers too), ask a lot of questions about staffing/subs, routines, who is in the home, etc. I’d also ask about religion as we toured some that were actively proselytizing. For centers, staff longevity , are the staff benefitted, what kind of training time do they have etc.
anonM says
We’ve only used centers, but did tour some of both. One thing that didn’t work for us with in-home was the strict pickup times, usually by 5pm. That’s fine most days, but if I’m in a meeting until 5 and DH is traveling, it just doesn’t work at all. For centers, our current center has great staff retention. I would ask about staff longevity and staff sick/vacation days. (One center got veryyyy uncomfortable when I asked about that, which told me a lot more than the website about whether it was a good place for our family!) Total aside, and everyone has differing feelings, but if you do tour in-homes, consider asking about gun safety. Our state requires disclosure but not sure every state does. We have guns in our home, but for an in-home daycare I do feel differently and it made me uncomfortable. I’m not sure tbh if it would have even occurred to me to ask, but it was on their disclosures.
anon says
If you haven’t considered it yet, I’d also look at a nanny share. It worked really well for us and let our baby nap in her crib and avoid daycare illnesses. For us it was really close in price with infant daycare.