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The options for nursing-friendly party clothes are pretty limited, so this maxi dress from Latched Mama is a find.
This luxurious velour dress will take you from holiday parties and into the New Year. It also sports some very practical features like an elastic waist, machine washability, and V-neck nursing access with a privacy panel.
It comes in three rich colors (dusty rose, peacock, and cranberry) and a wide range of sizes (XXS–3X) so every mama can party on!
The dress is $65.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
TheElms says
Hmm, is it just me, or do others really not like this pick?
Anonymous says
I think it’s terrible. It even looks like there are rumply pockets sticking out at the hips?
Spirograph says
I like it OK as a maternity option, but “nursing ready party clothes” were not something I ever needed. I went to a a wedding a few months pp, but I left the baby at home and I just took the top of the dress off to pump and dump in the bathroom. I’m team Nurse Anywhere You’re Comfortable, but I personally would never be comfortable nursing at a fancy party.
Anon says
I nursed at a family wedding 4 months postpartum but I just wore a regular dress and unzipped it when I went off into a corner to nurse. I don’t have a lot of modesty, clearly, but I can see why this would be useful for someone who wants to nurse and stay more covered up.
GCA says
I think it’s the combination of cut and fabric. When I think velvet holiday dress I usually think of something more fitted and sleek. I don’t think it’s that awful, but this dress would definitely look terrible on me because the volume would swallow me whole.
Anonymous says
I keep thinking about all the spitup getting caked into the velour.
anon says
Ewww, true. LOL.
The color is pretty, but something about the style is off.
Anonymous says
Maxi dresses in winter fabrics always look odd to me. A maxi dress is either a beach dress or a floaty silk dress for summer weddings. A long dress in a heavy fabric looks off unless it’s an evening gown.
Anon says
I like the idea of it, but in reality I think any combination nursing/maxi clothing item is going to be unflattering to wear postpartum. Plus with that neckline you could just buy a normal dress and still be able to nurse in it.
Daycare holiday gift amount? says
What is an appropriate holiday gift amount for daycare teachers? My child’s class has 2 main teachers and 4 helpers (who we love!). We are in HCOL area – monthly tuition is $2100. Is cash appropriate? If not, gift card to Target/Amazon? Thanks in advance!
Mathy says
I split a week’s tuition (so, $320) equally between the four teachers (one lead, three others) in a gift card to Target — I do this at the end of December and during Teacher Appreciation week.
Anonymous says
+1 but in cash, which I think is more standard in NYC.
Anon says
Following! Thinking of doing a target gift card but not sure if that would be universally well received?
AwayEmily says
Definitely, definitely cash (if you feel comfortable with it). I have gotten multiple thank-you notes from teachers specifically mentioning how grateful they are for cash rather than gift cards.
How much we give per teacher really depends on how many teachers they have (and honestly, how many kids we have). When I had just one kid with two teachers, I gave each of them $250, but now that I have two kids with seven teachers between them, I give each of them $70. I don’t think there’s a right answer here — give what you can afford. And I always put the cash in a card with a note mentioning specific things we appreciate about each teacher, and if possible some nice things my kid has mentioned about them.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Same here. Typically do cash in a thank you card. I think our end of year cash gifts have been somewhere in the range of $60-100 per main teacher, a little bit less for the floaters.
AE and others, speaking of this year, are you doing a card and cash for your kid’s kindergarten teacher (and assistant, if applicable)? I don’t know what’s appropriate here – I know it’s different than daycare.
Pogo says
On my local moms group someone mentioned there is an actual legal limit to gifting a public school teacher.
Anonymous says
This depends on the school district
Anon says
Not the district, it depends on the state (most state governments set limits) but yes a limit is very common.
AwayEmily says
No idea. I was going to ask someone I know who’s active in the PTO, I figured they would have a sense of what was normal/legal/etc.
Anonymous says
re: K – NYC public school parent – the class parent typically takes up a collection and gives a joint cash gift or prepaid debit card on behalf of the class. We generally contribute about $10-20. We attended a coop preschool and it was similar.
FWIW, my husband teaches high school and typically gets some random candy and occasionally something like a coffee mug, but no $$ (which is fine – he doesn’t expect anything).
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thank you! Literally after I posted this, I got an email from a parent in our K class with just this, a group collection. There wasn’t a limit listed so I’m not sure how they handle public school limits, but it’s helpful to have a class parent in charge of this!
I’ll probably have my K-er do a handwritten card for the teacher as well (with no other gifts inside).
NYCer says
+1 to the class parent taking up a collection. (NYC private school)
Anonymous says
Do not give cash gifts to a public school teacher.
Anonymous says
Our elem has a room parent collect. They suggest $25 per family. The money is used to buy an appropriate (ie allowed per the rules) gift at the holidays and again during teacher appreciation week.
We always try to give $50 because (1) our teachers are amazing and (2) not everyone contributed and we can afford to cover the gap
Spirograph says
+1 to all of this and another vote for cash. I’ve done all of the above at one point or another, but cash is simpler than gift cards. We usually gave more to the lead teacher than to the helpers, and also sent a card and goodies to share for the office staff and to catch the “floaters” who occasionally helped in our child’s room. Actual amounts varied depending on how many kids were in daycare at the time, but in the $50-100 range for the lead teacher.
Anon says
$50 per main daycare teacher; I’ve not contributed toward helpers because there are too many of them for me to keep track of, that circulate among three different infant classes. I’ll also give $50 towards a classroom gift for an elementary teacher if the PTA arranges something – don’t like giving an individual cash gift, feels too much like bribery or something once the kids are getting graded.
Anon says
Our daycare does a cash fund for all employees and I usually contribute $100-200 to that, and then I do $50 gifts to individual teachers/aides in my daughter’s room (usually 3-4 of them). I do gift card because I can’t bring myself to give cash, just a quirk of my upbringing. But cash is fine if you’re comfortable doing it.
Anon says
Oh and I don’t give the lead teacher more than the assistant teacher or aides. The aides actually spend the most time with my kid (there all day vs morning or afternoon only) and earn less salary than the teachers, so if anything I’d want to give them more, but I just do it equal because that’s easiest.
EDAnon says
Our center does a collection for cash bonuses for all teachers that’s then pro-rated by FTE. I used to have a formula but with Covid/teacher changes, I just wrote a check for $500 and called it done.
I have two kids in care. We pay like $1,400 biweekly. Our center is heavily staffed (meaning they staff beyond the equites ratios). I have no idea how much other families give.
Anonymous says
Do cash. If you are feeling generous, reach out to the class and offer to collect from the group. I live in the Boston burbs and paid $2400/mo for daycare. We collected $50-$100 per family* and each teacher got about $400 in cash, and we did $50 to the floaters. One of the teachers called me crying saying it was the best thing anyone had ever done for her.
* I wrote saying it was completely optional, totally fine if people wanted to do their own thing, give what makes sense for your family, we are planning to do $100. Many gave more, some gave less, a few didn’t participate. The card came from everyone. Every single parent that contributed thanked me for coordinating and making it easy.
Twin Q says
Two questions for the twin moms (whose archived wisdom from comments from waaaay back has been such a gift to me, thank you): first, I know the game is to try to get both on the same sleeping/eating schedule, but I’m confused about how exactly to do that. Feed A when she wakes up and let B keep sleeping, then wake him up immediately after to eat? Or wake him when she wakes up, and let him chill (…i.e., fuss) while she eats? I don’t know why I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this. Second, any recs for a twin-friendly nursery glider? Do we need one of the double-wide twin-specific ones, or is a chair a chair?
Thank you all so much! This community is amazing.
Anon says
so i would say it depends on how you plan on feeding them and your specific babies to a degree. so i had hoped to b*feed and figured maybe at first i’d have to feed each individually and then tandem feed, but ha. instead initially i was triple feeding, so I would feed Baby A on one side (and towards the end of this my helper would wake baby B and change, try to get prepped, etc.), then someone would give Baby A a bottle and burp Baby A, then I would feed Baby B on the other side, and then while baby B was being fed a bottle, I would pump. Baby A had reflux and we generally had to keep her upright for 15-30 min after eating. the doctor who suggested i hold her must not have really understood the whole twin concept, so we put her in a bouncer.
once i stopped having help, if i wanted to maintain any sort of sanity i had to stop this triple feeding, so i switched to exclusively pumping and then to formula. in retrospect i wish i’d given up pumping sooner. bc Baby A had reflux, at least for the first 4ish months of their lives until she grew out of it, I could not really bottle feed them both at the same time bc Baby A needed to be held in a certain position, burped frequently, etc. So generally Baby A was fed first and if Baby B wasn’t up yet, then I’d wake Baby B. Sometimes Baby B was up and mad she wasn’t getting any food so i would switch back and forth. By about 4/5 months I was able to feed the simultaneously. Baby B slept through the night before Baby A, so once we got to that stage i most certainly did not wake up Baby B. I skipped a glider – I’d say you do need a double wide one if you want to sit with both kids at once.
Anon says
For the feeding, it depends on how you’re going about it. My twins never picked up nursing, so were bottle-fed a combination of pumped milk and formula and thus we always feed them at exactly the same time. We had both parents home for the first 8 weeks (and family visiting for some of that), so were always able to have one adult per baby. After 4 or 6 weeks (they were born at 36w, so not very early) they had enough head control that one person could hold bottles for both at the same time, by lying them down in our TwinZ pillow. Other twin friends did tandem nursing (with a second person helping get the babies situated when they were tiny) or tandem bottle feeding using reclining high chairs. When one person is tandem feeding the most annoying part is needing to stop and burp the babies at different times; usually that just mean the other twin fussed for a couple minutes while their sister was being picked up to burp.
We had a double-wide rocker and used it daily for the first 4 years of their life. The key for us was that two adults could sit on it with two babies (or later two toddlers) both for general rocking or for bedtime stories when they got older.
HSAL says
So I tandem fed until they were 12 weeks, so still pretty little/sleepy. If one woke up I always had my husband bring me both rather than have the second wake up an hour later. After 12 weeks I would do it the way you mentioned – feed B right after you feed A. But as Anon said above, it also depends on how you’re feeding.
As far as the glider, the only thing I found at the time was an extra wide rocker from WalMart of all places. I didn’t love it, but it fit me, the babies, and the twin nursing pillow. I didn’t use it much though. Unless you really want a double glider, you might be able to just make the couch or bed work if you’re tandem feeding. Even after they were in their own room I’d still have my husband bring them to me and I nursed them in a recliner just fine.
Anonymous says
Here’s what we did: one twin wakes when hungry and we feed him, then wake the other and feed him. Mine had reflux (born at 31 weeks) so I’d prop them in the TwinZ pillow for 30 minutes after feeding. Hopefully you don’t need to do that. Twin feeding is pretty brutal initially but it does get better (can you possibly get a night nanny for a bit?) When they were very small they would sometimes wake at the same time and if you bf or are by yourself yeah just let one fuss until you’re done feeding the other and then switch. We EFF which made things a bit easier. I’ll second there TwinZ pillow: it’s a lifesaver if you have to feed them by yourself. I don’t have any glider recommendations, sorry.
Lego says
Has anyone cracked the code of Lego storage and getting kids to keep them in one place? Helppppp!!!
Cb says
Ugh no! We have a big breakfast in bed tray and table that lego is supposed to stay on but I found minifigs in my bed the other day. I think trying to sort by shape or colour is a losing battle.
Anonymous says
I am a big fan of our giant drawstring bag that lays flat as a playmat. Legos (in theory) stay on the mat, pull the strings to put them all away. I put the whole bag in a big rubbermaid container that slides under the train table. Sometimes the Lego builds migrate up to the train table instead of staying on the floor, but that’s OK with me… I just don’t want to step on them.
Anon says
I’ve tried various methods over the years but my 7 year old has not inherited my love of organization. So now our method is, “big box.” He has to pick up all the legos off the floor every 2 weeks before the cleaners come and add them to Big Box or I throw away whatever he leaves. I also got some cheap acrylic display shelves for some higher bookshelves in his room where he can house his best creations.
Anonymous says
I have zero tolerance for Legos on the floor, ever. Ouch!
EDAnon says
We also do a big box
anon says
By limiting all Lego things to one big box and not bothering with fancy organization options, honestly.
SC says
We have one of the big boxes with the play mat, so theoretically they can be spread out onto the mat, then returned the bin when he’s done playing with them. We also have one of those shelving units with 16 different bins for Legos to be organized, if desired. My son dislikes every system other than putting all his Legos on the floor and spreading them out so he can see them. Right now, most of the Legos are in the big box with the play mat. We have Lego train tracks, mini figs, instruction books, and partial builds in the sorting bins.
So Anon says
We have a partially finished basement, and I have given over one area of the basement to the legos. The legos hang out on the carpet and I have zero need to ever be over there. Kids go down to play and legos are not allowed upstairs or they will be eaten by the roomba.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Right now: We put the various sets in their own ziplog bags, with the booklets included inside, which then all go into a bigger bin inside my older son’s room.
In a few years (months?) when we end up with too much or both kids get into building legos: likely all extra pieces will go into a big bin and the kids better save their completed pieces somewhere safe.
Anonymous says
We keep individual kits in separate bags, too. Imaginative open-ended building is not popular in our house, and the kits don’t get rebuilt if the pieces are jumbled together.
Pogo says
We use small clear stackable boxes. They could fit one set each, but our kiddo mixes them because he’s usually more into imaginative than re-building the same thing.
Anon says
following up on the above, one of my kids goes to OT, do we give her therapist a holiday gift?
Anonymous says
No
ElisaR says
nope
EDAnon says
I would probably do something small. I have a maple syrup company I like so I buy a handful of little bottles and give them to people who I would like to acknowledge at this time of year.
Anon says
+1
ElisaR says
there’s a maple syrup shortage so maybe that would be a big hit this year! (not to imply that isn’t always a big hit…. but a bigger hit)
Anon says
Reviews of the Baby Brezza formula Keurig thing? Worth it or no?
anon says
Personally, we found just keeping a pitcher of formula in the fridge to be easier. Someone had to mix it up every night, but then there wasn’t any worry about cleaning the baby brezza, worrying about it dispensing properly, etc.
Anonymous says
+1 to the pitcher with the mixing mechanism. If your baby requires warm formula, maybe the Brezza is worth it, but my baby was fine with cold.
anonymous says
yep, my kids were fine with cold or luke warm, so the pitcher method worked great.
Anonymous says
After I finally realized that our pediatrician was nuts for demanding that we warm the formula, I found it easiest just to mix individual bottles as needed with room-temperature water. Baby liked room temp better than cold.
anonamama says
My SIL (mom of twins) likes the smaller instant model – where you just get the hot water to mix with bottles. Less mess.
Anonymous says
We had to clean it a bunch, or it starts to gradually water down the formula. you also lose a lot of formula when you clean it – it gets gunked up and makes a big mess. I liked it at first, but it ended up being more trouble that it was worth.
Anon says
There were articles a year or so ago about how it would improperly mix formula, but maybe they’ve fixed it. I think the NYT may have had a write up about it.
ElisaR says
i didn’t find formula/water shaking to be that hard…. i never used one and didn’t see the need.
Pogo says
Same, but only combo fed, didn’t exclusively FF. So most of the heavy lifting formula wise was done at daycare where I sent in the cannister and called it a day. I could see needing a more intense system if I was making 8 bottles a day for a newborn.
AnonATL says
We got one as an off-registry gift an used it every day for the first year. When my son was small and still eating every 3 hours, I would pre-mix a bunch of bottles and keep them in the refrigerator. When he got older it was way easier to do them when needed.
You are supposed to clean the filter every 4 uses because it starts to clog. Ours also consistently made 1 oz more than the display said (made 4 oz on the 3 oz setting). We didn’t notice a difference in it being watered down if properly cleaned. You also have to thoroughly clean and adjust settings if you change formula brands because the densities are different.
We loved it and will use it if/when we have #2. I probably wouldn’t have purchased it myself for #1 given he was such an easy baby to feed and didn’t care if the formula was cold. If you have a picky eater who likes a warm bottle it does make it easy.
Anonymous says
I formula feed twins and at least five people have told me I need one of these. Unfortunately the type of formula my twins are on is incompatible with the Brezza. I was also very concerned initially about it inadvertently watering down their formula: that can cause electrolyte imbalance which can make a baby’s heart stop. I’m probably being dramatic. Anyway I bought a $14 bottle warmer and made pitchers of formula and called it a day. It’s a bit of extra work but that’s just the way it goes with twins.
Anonymous says
This might show that I am a baker? But we pre-measure individual bottles with the correct weight of powdered formula into a day’s worth of bottles. Then when it is time for a bottle, measure by fluid ounce the correct amount of room temperature water, shake and give to the kid. Bottles with powder formula to not have to go in fridge because it is not mixed. After you get the hang of it, takes less than 5 minutes to premeasure a bunch of bottle (just need a kitchen scale). I find this easier than mixing an entire batch at once (although I do use the pitcher to make batches of bottles for daycare).
Anonymous says
I did something similar to this but I used a scoop to measure the powder, not a scale.
Anonymous says
I got a leakproof spout top for a mason jar and mixed up a big batch of formula at once. Very easy to clean.
AnonFTM says
I have an email out to my ped, but wanted to ask here for anecdata.
11-month-old hasn’t said a word yet, lots of babbling, and last week wouldn’t stop waving. But last few days…not waving as much/slower to respond. He still is working on clapping and pointing, not quite there yet.
Has this been anyone else’s experience – milestone reached, and then they slow down on it?
Anon says
Would not worry as long as he can still do it (just doesn’t feel like doing it as much).
Anon says
i think judging anything after a few days is going to make yourself crazy, unless it is something very substantial – like your kid suddenly cant seem to stand up. one of my twins was obsessed with waving for a while, and then kind of grew out of it and went onto the next thing.
Pogo says
+1 I would agree that a few days is not enough time to measure a skill being lost
Anonymous says
+1 to this advice OP. This is one of the things I love about twins. One of mine is obsessed with clapping: claps for everyone and everything. The other clapped exactly once and seems to have the attitude of “yeah…I already did that.”
Pogo says
lol, my youngest is currently obsessed with clapping and waving. He waves bye bye not only to me when I drop him off or when his nanny leaves, but also to anyone downstairs when going up to bed. It’s so precious. He also repeats “No” in the most serious little baby voice when we tell him or his brother not to do something. I forgot how fun little toddlers are!
Anon says
Yes, this happened to my kid a lot. She would “lose” one skill when she was working on another. It’s very normal for an 11 month old to have no words. Mine said her first word (“dat” for “that”, used as both a question and a directive) around 13 months, and didn’t say a second one until 15 months. She had a language explosion around 18 months and was talking in complete sentences before turning 2.
Anon says
I wouldn’t worry at all, it’s normal for them to stop doing one thing and focus on others.
Anonymous says
Yeah, my kid learned to say “Up” at 10 months. In a couple weeks she had us trained and quit saying up. Took months before she started talking.
Anon says
Advice on holiday gifts for preschool (not daycare) teachers? My 3 year old goes to preschool 3 days a week for 3 hours (she’s home with our nanny otherwise), and she has 3 teachers in her room. We go all out for nanny Christmas gifts but I’m a little stumped on what’s appropriate here for teachers she’s only with a handful of hours each week.
We got a list of each teacher’s favorite things/stores from the room mom at the start of the year. I was thinking of $20 Target cards, which they all listed as their favorite store, + a few of their favorite items (favorite candy, scented candle, etc.) in a gift bag for each teacher, plus a card from kiddo. We live in a VHCOL area and go to a pretty ritzy school, and my lame insecure side worries that I’m going to be out-gifted by the bougie SAHMs who don’t have to also pay their nanny a four-figure holiday bonus.
Anon says
I would do what you can afford. I think a lot of people will give $50+ per teacher but that doesn’t mean you have to. But I would give the entire amount in cash or gift card, not candy or scented candles.
AwayEmily says
I would do cash plus a nice note. Honestly I think the sincerity of the note endears you to the teacher much more than the amount of the gift. I say this partly as a teacher (albeit a college one) myself — when my advisees give me nice gifts (e.g. a personalized notepad) it is wonderful, but can’t compare to a card telling me exactly how I made a difference in their lives.
Pogo says
I think we did like $50 to Target for our preschool teachers last year when we were in the same setup. And a card from the kiddo.
NYCer says
Does your preschool have a room parent / class rep? My daughter also goes to preschool with same hours and same number of teachers, and the class rep collected money to do a group gift for the teachers.
NYCer says
Ha! Sorry replied too fast and did not read your second paragraph. Definitely ask the room mom! FWIW, we also go to a ritzy preschool in NYC and we have a group gift as I mentioned above. If there is no collective gift, I would just give whatever you can. I would probably do $50-100 in cash per teacher.
Also, do not worry at all if you are out gifted by anyone else! The teachers will be grateful regardless.
Anon says
I asked and the room mom does collective gifts for teacher birthdays, which we contributed the recommended amount to, but not for holidays, unfortunately. Seems like $50 seems to be the going rate, so I’ll up the gift card amounts. :) Thanks for the advice!
NYCer says
Ah bummer! I was so thankful that our preschool did a collective gift. Makes like easier!
Anonymous says
Does anyone else have a hard time with the expectation of lavish cash or cash-equivalent gifts and holiday bonuses for everyone around them? I work for a nonprofit and earn less than 1/4 what I’d make in the private sector with my skills and experience, and of course I don’t get a bonus. It’s challenging enough to make the budget work for regular expenses like child care. The holiday tipping/gift guidelines demand that I give my hairstylist 3x what I spend on a gift for my own mother, after I’m already paying her a higher hourly rate than my own fully loaded billing rate. I feel like the Grinch.
Anon says
I’ve never given money to anyone at the holidays except daycare teachers, and an assistant when I had one (I don’t anymore).
Allie says
You need to budget for this as a yearly expense, like if your property tax bill came due once a year but you saved x per month to be ready to pay it — total up what you need to give as holiday tips, divide by 11 (exclude December because of so many other expenses) and save that each month so that you have it ready. If you don’t want to do this — get MUCH cheaper haircuts.
Anonymous says
I know how budgeting works. I just object to the idea that I should have to pay more than the exorbitant rates I am already forced to pay for everything. The mere fact that I work in an office and require day care does not make me rich.
Pogo says
I definitely understand being in that area of “I can afford X but I can’t afford to tip ridiculously for X” – I feel like that was me for years and I was resentful of the advice that if you can’t afford generous tipping you shouldn’t be getting X (haircut or eating out or whatever). Like I shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy any services that included tipping unless I could go over the top for them.
I do think whatever you can give at the holidays is appreciated. If you can’t give $200 to your hairdresser, that doesn’t mean you can’t give anything.
Anonymous says
Exactly. I already tip 20% for dining and services and factor that in as part of the cost. I resent being told that if I don’t want to tip above and beyond that, I can’t afford those things.
Anonymous says
My haircuts are pretty infrequent and I always tip 25%. I don’t do a holiday tip. We give $50 to preschool teachers. Don’t strain your budget just to tip people at the holidays because a random internet stranger or article says you should. Although, if you’re truly strapped for cash you should prob spend less on your hair :)
Anon says
I don’t think all of the tip guidance on the Internet is real or at least not applicable to many places. For example, I’ve never given a hairstylist a huge holiday bonus – I’ll give a nice tip, sure, but nothing notable. I tip daycare teachers, cleaners, and maybe the garbage man. I don’t think most people in my area do the last two even.
Anon says
+1 I don’t know anyone who tips people other than daycare teachers/nannies and cleaners at the holidays. I tip generously each time I get my hair cut and it would never occur to me give a holiday bonus on top of that.
NYCer says
+2.
Pogo says
I give holiday tips to anyone I see regularly at their holiday service for the amount of one extra service.
For the mailman I forget how much we gave him, but like a $15 Dunkin card? Like teachers they are government employees and have limits.
Anonymous says
Do people really give their hairstylists a holiday gift? Like separately from the tip at the time of service? I have never had a regular stylist because my hair mx = 2 cuts a year and I just schedule with whomever’s available at the time I want to go, but this would not have been on my radar.
I contribute to class teacher gifts (kids in elementary school) and do my own cards for each teacher. Cards and small, <$15 gifts for the mailman and the milkman, and give the housecleaner the week off but pay her for it anyway. Otherwise I just tip ~20% as usual for services as I obtain them, round up a little if I'm feeling festive, but nothing extravagant. Maybe I'm a cheapskate?
SC says
Yes. I am not at a nonprofit, but I have a job with work/life balance and commensurate pay, my son has special needs with a lot of medical/therapy expenses, and my husband is a SAHD. Teacher gifts and my assistant’s bonus exceed what we spend on any family member, including ourselves, except our son. If DH and I tipped our hairdresser the equivalent of one haircut, it would equal the total we spend on my parents (combined). I usually just tell DH to give her $100 from both of us during his last cut of the year.
Anon says
Wait how much do your haircuts cost that you’re giving $100 and that’s significantly less than the cost of a haircut? Am I the only person here who gets $30 haircuts?
Anon says
I probably shouldn’t admit this but I often have my mother trim my hair when I’m visiting…yes, I am a grown and mature woman. But my hairstyle is pretty simple (straight and long-ish) and I can’t justify $50 for a trim
Anonymous says
I envy you.
Anonymous says
I have a pixie cut and thick, challenging hair and have been through every stylist in the city at every price point to find the one person who can make it look halfway decent. Plus I have prematurely gray hair that needs to be colored every four weeks because I didn’t feel like wearing it 100% gray at age 35. Color + cut is in the range of $225 before tip.
Pogo says
A plain old haircut I think is $60 for me, but if I get any color done it seems to be in the $150 range.
Anonymous says
+1. Yes, I think you are Grinch-y if you get $150+ haircuts and don’t want to tip on that. I go to Hair Cuttery where a trim is like $30. And I color my hair at home–cost, $10. None of this is necessary. If you can afford it, great! Enjoy! But then you don’t get to whine about the tipping.
Anonymous says
There’s a difference between everyday tipping on a haircut and being expected to tip an extra $150+ on top of that at the holidays.
Anon says
I don’t know, it averages out to a much smaller amount per haircut. If you’re spending $200 on each haircut is an extra $20 a month really that big a deal? I make much less than most people here, and would never be able to give all my service providers $200+ holiday tips, but I also don’t get $200 haircuts. If your income bracket allows for the latter the former shouldn’t be a big hardship?
Anonymous says
I agree with Anon at 3:39. If you make enough money to afford regular haircuts in this price range, then you very likely make much more money than the hair stylist. You should give him or her a proper holiday tip.
SC says
If I spend $200, including tip, every 12 weeks, that’s $66 per month. $20 more per month for a holiday bonus would be almost a 33% increase in the annual cost of the service. That’s a lot. Basically, by tipping $100 at the holidays, DH and I tip about what we spend each month, but not per service.
SC says
I get my hair cut and colored, and it cost about $160 every 12 or so weeks. My husband sees the same hairdresser I do, and his costs $35 every 4-5 weeks. We both tip 20% on each haircut, sometimes 25% if she’ll accept it. At the end of the year, we give her $100 from both of us–so one of his cuts and half of one of mine? But not the equivalent of one of mine and one of DH’s.
Anonymous says
We only do contribution to class gift and something for our building’s super. The super gift is largely about self-preservation – we would not put it past him to keep score, although we never ask him for anything anyway. I get my haircut somewhat sporadically and am now worrying I should not have scheduled for 12/22 when a holiday bonus seems warranted. But she knows I work for a nonprofit and hopefully has low expectations of me. I always tip 20% and might do a little extra this time.
Anonymous says
PS – I believed in fairly generous daycare teacher gifts because (a) you do not want to be cheap with people taking care of your infant in general and (b) I was pretty sure they needed the money. If we had a housecleaner, I would also probably be generous with him or her, but we DIY. My hairdresser’s husband works in finance and from all appearances they have a larger HHI than ours, so I’m less concerned.
DLC says
You ate not a Grinch!!! The general tipping guidelines are hard for me too, particularly since I’ve been mostly unemployed since March 2020, but even before then we couldn’t afford to tip 2x service cost, or what not. I try to think of these things as a “gift” and then give what we can afford and write a nice card of thanks. I do think it is a privilege to be able to afford some services, and even being unemployed we are not as hand to mouth as a lot of our service providers, so I try to have the gift be a show of my gratitude and respect rather than a social dictate.
NYC says
NYC tipping help- for NYC area parents who employ a nanny, would you mind sharing how much you give as a year end gift? This is my first holiday season with a nanny and was planning to give 1 week salary as cash and approx 1/3 of a week salary equivalent value in gift form (with gift receipt). Is this approx standard? I read on park slope parents that 1-2 weeks salary is standard. Idk if that number is up to date. In manhattan and gave 3 weeks paid time off if applicable. Thanks!
ElisaR says
outside of manhattan….by 20 miles but it’s NJ so possibly different. but i think you also need to consider how long she has been with you. last year my nanny started in sept so i didn’t give a full week’s bonus, i gave $500 in cash. this year she’s still with us so now i plan on doing the “one week” dollar amount to her. gift on the side is not a requirement, but i like the concept of my children selecting a gift for her so I may have them pick something out.
ElisaR says
i will add that she was visibly surprised and thrilled with the $500 in cash. she didn’t get that in the past with other families which surprised me.
Anon says
Not in NYC but a nanny employer in another VHCOL coastal area. We have an amazing nanny who’s been with us for 3 years. We now do 1.5 week’s salary in cash but started with 1 week cash bonus for her first holiday season with us. We also give her 3-5 additional paid days off over the holidays (usually whatever holiday time DH & I take off) beyond the standard 12 paid vacation days and paid holidays that come with her contract as an extra “gift”. An extra physical gift isn’t standard but is likely appreciated, especially if she can return it.
We also give generous cash gifts on her birthday and her employment anniversary, plus an annual raise. If we didn’t do these additional gifts, we’d probably do a closer to a 2 week cash bonus for the holidays.
NYCer says
We did one week salary for the first year our nanny was with us (and have increased now that she has been with us for several years). We only give cash, no other gifts. FWIW, I think most nannies would appreciate $1300 cash more than $1000 cash and a $300 tangible gift. Maybe a smaller gift would be ok, but I do not think you need to spend 1/3 of a weekly salary on a tangible gift.
You might also consider giving her some paid days off around Christmas or New Years. We generally travel to my home state or my husband’s home country during that time, so we are gone 1.5-2 weeks (we pay her for those weeks). If you aren’t travelling and have the flexibility, giving her 2-3 days extra on top of regular holidays would be nice.
We also give her a cash gift on her birthday and have a little party with cake at home.
TheElms says
In the DC area so a somewhat similar high cost area, we did one week salary last year and a card from us, but no physical gift because she hadn’t been with us that long and I really had no idea what she’d like. At the one year mark, she got a raise and a signing bonus to stay on for a second year. This year I plan to do a week salary and possibly a small physical gift (if I think of something good) and a card from kiddo, who is now old enough to somewhat meaningfully participate in making a card. She’ll probably get some additional paid leave around the holiday (but I don’t know exactly how much yet) beyond the paid vacation (14 days) and sick leave (5 days) in her contract. While our holiday bonus might not be the most generous, I think we are reasonably generous on the leave front. I think our nanny exceeded her sick leave both last year and will again this year as a result of days off related to Covid and we have paid her on those days as though she was taking sick leave (I admit this is largely self interested because I’d rather she be 100% honest with us).
Anonymous says
PSP publishes an annual survey about holiday tipping – look for that or last year’s results on their website.
Anonymous says
https://www.parkslopeparents.com/Newsflash/2020-holiday-tips.html
anon says
Box of chocolates and $2,500 cash (~2.5 weeks pay) plus 2-3 weeks between Christmas and New Years. My nanny is my life line and we can afford it so we’re going to do what we can. I’d say ignore the gift and increase cash, maybe a token consumable thing if you don’t want to just hand over an envelope of cash.
Anon says
Follow-up question – for those of you with nannies, does the hours worked factor into the gift amount? Asking because we have a nanny in the NYC burbs (40 hours/week) and it seems like that is low for nanny hours.
Anonymous says
Yes because it’s often phrased as a week’s pay or some multiple of a week’s pay.
NYC says
Thanks for the feedback everyone! I’ll up the cash amount and include a card from the baby.
Anon says
For those of you who pay on the books – do you gift a week gross or a week net?
Anon says
We’ve always done a week gross.
Alanna of Trebond says
I give 2 weeks salary as a bonus. Manhattan with a nanny 55 hours a week.
Anon says
My son is 14 months old and normally sleeps through the night. Within the last couple months he has been randomly having a night every other week where he wakes up screaming. I give him about 10-15 min to settle on his own, but usually end up going in and calming him. Sometimes he is fine after this, sometimes we repeat the cycle 2 or 3 times. Is this normal? I always think it’s possible he is In pain from teething, but he is normally a good sleeper and falls asleep on his own so I’m surprised this Is still happening. When does this end?!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
This sounds to me like teething. I’d give a dose of tylenol before bed and see how that works.
For DS #1, he’d wake up like your son, I’d give him tylenol, and then he’d be out in 20-30 minutes (I’d soothe him until then). This happened just the other night with DS #2, and tylenol did the trick. Last night, I just gave him a dose before bed and no issues.
Anonymous says
10-15 min? That doesn’t sound so bad! We are dealing with a 10mo who is currently screaming for 1.5-2 hours if she wakes up in the middle of the night. No matter what we do–gradually extending cry it out, bottles, rocking, tylenol if we suspect teething, etc etc., she seems to have to scream until she hits a point of total exhaustion. I’m at a complete loss. Baby #1 was an amazing sleeper and we’ve never head to deal with anything like this.
Anon says
Is he learning to walk or mastering another new skill? That can cause sleep disruptions for sure. Teething is very possible as well. Even if he’s not in physical pain, Tylenol may help – it has anti-anxiety properties that can be generally calming even in the absence of physical pain. We gave it to my kid very frequently around this age and it seemed to help even when there wasn’t obvious teething.
Anonymous says
Going through this exact thing with a 14-month old right now – just got a molar last week, another molar is about to break through, on the verge of walking, learning new words – I think it’s some combination of teething pain and brain overload from all the new skills (and one ear infection). Tylenol has helped.