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Now that we’re past Thanksgiving, I can start embracing those those merry and bright feelings.
This fun eyeshadow palette from Sephora Collection is a fun (and very economical) way to add some sparkle to your look. This palette includes eight easy-to-wear shades that range from matte to metallic. It also includes a mirror for touch-ups on the go and is made from eco-friendly packaging.
For the price, I’d buy a few for all my makeup-loving family and friends.
The Wonderful Wishes Eyeshadow Palette is $8 at Sephora.
P.S. Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate!
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
See some of our latest articles on CorporetteMoms:
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Clementine says
Hopefully a helpful thread for all of us giving small gifts (stocking stuffers, etc.) for the holidays- What are your go-to stocking stuffers? (I’m looking for new and fun ideas.)
Kids – New toothbrushes with favorite characters, band-aids with favorite characters, fun socks, those infernal ‘surprise’ pack things that you don’t know what you’re getting and you pick up at the checkout of Target, plus a little candy and then an orange and a walnut.
Adults – Good pens. Favorite gum or mints. Nice coffee or tea. Also surprisingly popular are band-aids with favorite characters. Socks. A magazine.
Cb says
We have big stockings, so it’s always tricky. For kiddo, a lego magazine, one of those fossil eggs, cool socks, chocolate coins. For us, socks, mittens, chocolate, coffee.
anon says
Oooh, I love stockings! Thanks for starting this thread. For kids this year, this is what I am thinking: silly putty, toothbrushes, fun chapstick, an M&M candy cane thing, an orange, and probably a small book or coloring book.
Anonymous says
I like big stockings because I can fit books in them.
EDAnon says
We travel every year for the holidays so stockings are something I can do. We skipped them last year because I didn’t have the bandwidth. But I always do an ornament.
anne-on says
We usually add candy (like the bigger packs of haribo or king sized candy bars), always a book, and then small gifts (stockings get opened first while the adults get coffee, so toys help keep the kiddo quiet). This year my son is getting pokemon card packs, the tiny video games (the size of a credit card with the retro games), a yo-yo, fancy pens for coloring books, and a graphic novel. My husband’s stocking still needs some help so I’ll be following this thread!
Anon says
What is a brand or example of a nice pen if I wanted to get one for DH?
Clementine says
Okay, so like a fancy fountain pen? The gold standard is Montblanc.
What I like in my stocking and for everyday use? Pilot G-2. Super smooth, great for taking notes but nice enough to sign. Sounds small, but also shows up really well on scans. I also like Papermate flair felt-tip pens in red or green (my favorite) to highlight things in my notes, make edits, and generally use something that’s almost a marker.
Curious says
Pilot G-2s are quite good.
Anon. says
For everyday use I swear by Pentel Energel pens.
anon says
Following my parents’ tradition, I’m giving them snack foods they usually don’t get. This may not work as they get older, but for now, they go nuts over fruit pouches, fruit cups, clementines, etc. Hubs will get reeses.
octagon says
Every year my kid gets a pack of thank-you notes in his stocking. We say it’s Santa’s way of helping him be polite and thank his relatives for his gifts. Also fun band-aids and lots of ridiculous consumables. World Market has great international snacks, we do different flavors of pocky sticks, swedish gummies, etc. Also some nicer beef jerky.
anon says
My family always does ornaments for adults. For kids: stickers, anything personalized with their name on it (bookmarks this year), socks, coloring supplies.
SC says
For those of you with kids 5+, I highly recommend Kanoodle. It’s a small, quiet puzzle game. Perfect for a restaurant or airplane, but my son plays with it all the time.
This year, DH is getting a metal grill scraper, a magnetic wrist band for screws, and a universal socket.
I always put some candy into all 3 stockings.
Anonymous says
Headlamps or flashlights. Cute little notebooks. Nail polish. Hot chocolate bombs. Those cheap stretchy gloves that kids keep in the pockets of all their coats and then lose or wreck.
Curious says
My sister in law gave me a pack of cheapish face masks, and it turned out I love them! Fun little indulgence. We sometimes also do funny socks.
EDAnon says
Hope folks had a relaxing Thanksgiving break! My 5yo is due for his second dose today. Any of the (few) people ahead of me on this have any experience with symptoms from the 2nd dose? Or maybe anecdotes from the 12yos?
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 5 year old had his second dose on Saturday. Other than sleeping in a bit later than usual (but he also went to sleep later as we saw some holiday lights), he had no side effects. He was as active as ever and didn’t seem at all affected by it yesterday, whereas when my husband and I got it, we definitely felt it the next day.
Anon says
Five year old had her second dose yesterday and no side effects that we can discern. She was easier to put to bed last night but took a car nap on the way to her shot, so was a bit more tired pre-vaccine. Good luck!
Anon says
Our 5- and 7-year olds got their second shot on Saturday. Their arms are a little sore, and they were tired yesterday, but no idea if that’s from the shot or the week-long Sugar Extravaganza with grandparents visiting. ;)
Anon says
My 7YO kid had Covid in September and had side effects from both Covid shots that mirrored his actual symptoms from COVID – fatigue, low fever, a bit of a headache. Shot side-effects resolved within 12 hours. Glad it occurred over a weekend – not sure I would have sent him to school if it’d been a school day.
EDAnon says
Thanks everyone! You all are the best (and on the ball!)
Anonymous says
My six year old got her second shot yesterday. Her stomach hurt and she was tired afterward. But that could be that she refused lunch and was playing outside in near freezing temperatures?
I don’t know. She was fine by bedtime and fine this morning. And my husband had a pretty bad reaction to his second shot and booster.
AnonNoVa says
My 7 year old had her 2nd shot Saturday and had no side-effects except for a sore arm.
Cc says
Hi all. My maternity leave ends in two weeks and kiddo (who will be 5 months ) will start daycare.
1) any advice on the transition back? I will be remote until February
2) how do you balance a demanding job with the schedule of the baby? The idea of not seeing her all day is killing me. I used to get done with work at 6 on a good day. We are trying to get her to bed before 730. To start with I’m going to try to block my calendar from 4-8 but I prob can’t do that forever. How do you make it work?
Anonymous says
You get “home” from work, feed, snuggle, play, bath, bed.
Anon says
1. If you can, start with some half days to transition both you and baby into daycare. Also, everybody calls midday on the first day to ‘check how baby is doing’.
2. I had a really demanding job time-wise when my oldest was born. I would go over and visit daycare on lunch because that was the only time I saw him. For a long time, I was white knuckling it to pickup and then by the time we got home, I had very little time with him. So… (and yes, I know this isn’t right for everyone) – I found a job that was also very demanding, but let me work 8-4 in office, then log on after 8. Truthfully – I used to waste a lot more time than I do. Now, I will read on here during a boring conference call where I still need to be present, but I am so much more efficient than I used to be. Like, I used to often be done at 5:30, but would stand in my colleague’s doorway talking to them for another 40 minutes. Or I would feel like we needed to fill the space of our hourlong meeting, even though we could cover it in 15 minutes. Also – I’m big on agendas for meetings and being respectful of EVERYONE’s time and that has really been a game changer.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Being remote should be helpful to you here, to at least avoid a commute. I think you’ll just have to enforce your block, at least a few days of the week. But also, you can trade off with your partner on who does pickup so you don’t have to stop work at 4. That first year is hard because kids go to sleep so early. They will eventually go to bed later and you’ll see them more. Plus, try to take advantage of the weekends.
Anon says
the transition can definitely be challenging and obviously not seeing your baby all day is tough. Do you have a partner? Is the plan generally for them to pick the baby up from daycare? the reality is that yes, there might be days where you only see your baby for an hour or two, but it’s definitely quality over quantity. While i do understand the appeal of staying home with a baby who naps a lot, staying home all day with a tantrum throwing toddler is honestly more exhausting than going to work. When you go back in person is it full time in person or some days from home? If you can’t block your calendar every day, maybe you can a couple of days a week, and not necessarily from 4-8, but from 5:30-7:30 or something like that
Pogo says
1) prep as much as possible the night before; if pumping – store pump parts in the fridge in between pumps. Don’t bother going through all your emails you got while you were gone; I made a folder called “maternity leave” and shoved them all in there to clear out my inbox. Set up 1:1s with key stakeholders as well as anyone who just has good gossip and can fill you in on what happened while you were out.
2) It’s hard. At least a few times a week, I get off a call and dash downstairs to take baby from the nanny and he goes straight to bed. Even our 4yo has maybe 10-20 min of playtime before we start the bedtime routine. I focus on making that bedtime routine count – be really present during bathtime and books. Remember that more people taking care of baby are more people who love her! My 14mo has just started waving and clapping and he does both so enthusiastically when he sees our nanny it warms my heart. At daycare they have their little buddies and different toys and they always eat and sleep better for other people (at least my kids do). It’s ok to be bummed, but baby will do great.
Deep End says
I tried to block 4-8 on my schedule when I returned to work with daycare for my 4 month old. I let my team know I was doing it, which seemed to cause resentment. If I do it again, I would not publicize it in the same way.
The two things that helped me was to realize it didn’t have to be an all or nothing approach. I picked her up at 4 on the days I could and other days she stayed until 6. As she got older, it got easier and now at 17 months her routine is to stay until 6 with bed at 7:30. Though I still occasionally pick her up early when I get the opportunity to. Give yourself lots of grace the first few weeks! It gets easier.
AwayEmily says
Agreed with not having to be all or nothing. Even now (my youngest is 3.5) we try to do this — sometimes I have meetings and he has to stay at school until 5:30, and some days one of us is able to shift things around and we can pick him up at 4.
Anon says
Definitely block your calendar and don’t allow anything in that isn’t truly urgent. Most things can be done after 8 or early in the morning if need be.
Anon says
I may be a voice of dissent, but if you want to spend more time with her, maybe a later bedtime is the answer. We start bedtime routine with our daughter at 8pm and she’s in her crib by 845/9pm (she’s 13 months, but we’ve done this from the beginning). It means I don’t get much time to myself in the evening b/c I go to bed early, but I’m also an early riser so that is my “me time”.
Anon says
I block 4:30-6:30 on my calendar every day. This gives me time to throw dinner on, pick up my son from daycare, play with him for a few minutes, eat dinner together, do bath and bedtime routine. I work again after baby goes to bed at 6:30. My son is now 15 months and I’ve been doing this since I went back to work when he was 4 months. From time to time there’s an urgent meeting that I have to take, and my husband takes the lead. Fortunately I’m fairly senior and have control over (most) of my meetings and can avoid scheduling during this time.
Anon says
I’ll also add that my son wakes up at 6/630 am, so I have about 2-2.5 hours with him in the morning, too.
Anon says
Morning all – I have a travel conundrum and could use advice. My very generous in laws want to take us on a family trip to Hawaii next summer (we all live in CA, so a 5 hour flight). My two DSs will be almost 4 and 2 respectively. My concern is my older son – he is very very active and I am doubtful he will be able to handle a flight that long, plus inevitable airport delays, without a meltdown and having the whole flight hate us. My younger son is much more mellow but who knows what he’ll be like at almost 2. We will have six adults and my 10 year old niece (who is fairly mature) to help, but still. Should we pull the trigger or wait until they are older? FWIW, we did a four hour car trip this past summer and it was pretty brutal.
Cb says
I feel like my son’s screentime tolerance has increased dramatically between 3 and 4. We had a nightmare transatlantic flight at 2.5, and now at 4, I suspect he’d be fine (but my parents have moved closer so we haven’t had to test that option).
Anon says
+1 Screen time tolerance changed for us a lot between 2.5 and 3.5.
Anonymous says
5 hours of misery each way in exchange for a whole fun vacation seems very worth it.
Anonymous says
+1. Everything is always worth it. You’ll never look back on this vacation in 20 years and say “nah, should’ve stayed home.”
Pogo says
I think the answer is iPad. Especially if you don’t normally use screentime, I find it very effective on airplanes.
My son is also fascinated with vehicles so just watching out the window at the airport was pretty exciting during waiting to board or any delays.
Cb says
Yes definitely! The airport is an absurdly exciting place for a 4 year old.
Anonymous says
5 hours is not long. He will be fine. Take the trip.
Anon says
+1 this is an easy one. I’m debating whether to take my 1, 3, 5 and 6 year olds to Hawaii from the east coast and with a plane change and just me and DH :)
Not actually debating; we’re totally doing it if the scheduled time works for our schedules. Can’t wait.
Anon says
My kid is a whirling dervish at home but was entertained really well by screens (and books and toys) on a 10 hour Hawaii flight at 3.5. I would 100% go, a flight from the West Coast will be over before you know it and the trip will be really fun.
NYCer says
I would 100% go. People survive with rambunctious toddlers on airplanes all the time. Is the flight fun or relaxing? No. But the trade off is a free trip to Hawaii with lots of adult help! while you’re there! Plus, I imagine that your older son will happily watch an iPad for long stretches by that time (we do unlimited screen time on airplanes).
Also at the end of the day, you will never see the people on the flight again, so don’t worry to much if your kid isn’t perfectly behaved…
Anon says
Yeah I don’t really find flying with kids stressful and I think a big part of why is that I don’t care if the people on the airplane like us. Of course I do my best to calm a screaming kid, but at the end of the kid, little kids scream and cry. It is what it is, and I’ve seen adults cause disturbances on airplanes too.
Cb says
OMG, yes. My kid is way less annoying than the stag dos I fly with on Sunday nights. Poor mask wearing, rude to the flight attendants, either singing or watching videos on their phones without headphones. People grumble about kids, but they should worry more about the big groups of 30 something men.
Anonymous says
I don’t grumble about kids making normal noise or even having tantrums (they happen), but I do grumble about parents who let their kids watch extremely grating cartoons without headphones. No headphones, no volume – no exceptions. That goes for EVERYONE on the plane.
Cb says
Oh yes, I’ve got a hard and fast rule on headphones. I hate other peoples’ noises.
Anonymous says
I mean, I don’t disagree in theory, but if the kid won’t keep headphones on and it’s either cartoon noise or screaming, I would generally prefer the cartoons.
Anonymous says
99.9% of people on the plane will be sympathetic and give you “hang in there!” smiles unless you are obviously provoking your kids to make noise.
I would always rather sit next to a crying baby or a wriggly toddler than a sweaty adult whose shoulders are encroaching on my seat space and who brought a smelly lunch on the plane.
anne-on says
Take the trip. We did Disney at just over 3 and the flight was a serious highlight for my kid (roughly 3.5 hour flight) – unlimited screen time, loads of juice, fun snacks (that he got to pick out!), and we also packed sticker books, and water-activated coloring books but didn’t even need to break them out. The 2 year old would be a bigger concern as that’s prime ‘must see/do/touch all the things!’ age but I’d still be willing to walk up and down aisle/endure some tantrums for a free trip to Hawaii. Also the adults way outnumber the kids so you should be good in terms of extra hands for strollers/car seats/activities/entertaining the kids.
Anonymous says
Do it no hesitation. A 5-hr plane ride is easier than a 4-hr car ride — unless it’s really bumpy the whole time, he can get up and walk around. Screentime. Other adults to help entertain. Lovely vacation when you arrive.
anon says
A few considerations/suggestions – can anyone else in the family try to book the same flight as you? It kept my 1.5 and 3.5 yos entertained to go back to auntie’s seat and look through her stuff for 20 minutes, etc. Also, when you’re there, is the plan to stay in one “home base” or travel to multiple places etc.? We did a trip to another state for a family wedding, but due to location we ended up moving between three different places (air bnb, cabin, hotel) and it was a lot for my 3.5yo. The flights weren’t too bad, but flight + moving every two days + flight was wearing for us. I don’t regret this very memorable trip, it was very worth it, but I’m not planning anything like that again anytime soon. Also, I’d try to build in a day when you get home- either early flights back or a full next day to unpack before school, etc. If you can do some of that, I think the trip will be more fun and less stress for parents.
anon says
OP here, yes, sorry, I should have specified – all of us will be on the same flight, so we will have plenty of help from start to finish. And once we’re there my in laws have rented a condo for us to stay in by the beach and we’ll be there the whole time (Maui).
Anon says
A year is a big difference. If it makes you feel any better, lots of military families fly to Hawaii with toddlers and little kids so a fussy kid shouldn’t shock anyone if the worst happens.
Anon says
+1 I’ve been to Hawaii a lot and there are a TON of kids on all Hawaii flights. Even in first class there are often multiple families with young children (some airlines may upgrade military families?)
No Face says
DO IT.
– someone who went to Hawaii from the Midwest with a toddler and thought it was completely worth it
Anon says
i’d be less worried about the flight than the lack of sleeping and time change. but would probably still go
Anon says
Time change from the west coast is only 2 hours – really not bad – and in my experience toddlers do much better with jet lag than babies. When I took my 3 year old to Hawaii this past summer (from Eastern time, so 5 hours difference) she adjusted basically immediately. I think she woke up around 5 am the first day, but it wasn’t ungodly early and after the first day she routinely slept past 6. We like to be on an early-to-bed, early-to-rise schedule in Hawaii anyway, so it worked really well. We had a much harder time when she was a baby (10 months). She would wake up at 3 am and not go back to sleep.
OP says
Thanks all! Looks like the consensus is that we go – so I’ll charge up the iPad, bring headphones and hope for the best!
anon says
Also lollipops :D
Coach Laura says
Took a 4yo and 2yo to Hawaii from Seattle. It was fabulous and, so many years later, it’s one of our best memories. I hope it is the same for you.
Anonymous says
GO! My kid loves planes. He is better behaved on a plane than ANYWHERE else partially because he knows that fun trips will end if he does not behave on the flight. I have traveled a lot with him, including internationally.
A few thoughts. Plan ahead. Make sure you have extra entertainment and backup clothes for everyone. It is not fun to bring all that through the airport, but the time you do not, will be the time the kid is cold, the iPad does not work, or your kid dumps a bottle of water on you. Be mindful of others but making the effort to keep kids behaving. That does not mean perfect behavior, but hope for age appropriate behavior. Make sure you have kid specific headphones. Asking them to be quiet and to sit cross legged in his/her seat goes a long way to keep other passengers happier.
Anon says
the sibling rivalry in our home is currently going through an intense period of competing for mommy’s attention. we have 3.5 year old twins, and the second i am helping one with something, the other one asks for mommy to do something. we try to give them quality one-on-one time, so like last weekend DH took twin A in the car to pick up my SIL from the airport, while I tried to play with twin B, but twin B basically incessantly asked when twin A would be home, which shocked me since they are also currently in a phase where they go from playing nicely together, to screaming/wrestling/fighting over a toy and I thought twin B would be happy to have mommy and all of her toys to herself. this was by no means the first time she was without her sister. at home now, whenever twin B says she has to go potty, twin A tries to race to get to the potty first even though she doesn’t have to go. any ideas? we’ve intentionally been trying to carve out one-on-one time with each kid/parent, but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything
AwayEmily says
Our sibling conflict also goes in phases (mine are 5 and 3). I don’t have a panacea but I took the approach of doing as much research/skill-building as I could, since I figured that this would be something we’d be dealing with for the long term. Siblings Without Rivalry lives up to the hype; it’s really good and has concrete recommendations. I also liked Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings. And finally, I have mixed feelings about Dr. Becky but I paid for her “siblings” course and it was helpful for giving some context on why these feelings come up in the first place. Anyway, doing all of this (1) provided me with a nice deep toolbox of strategies and (2) helped me realize how normal it all is, both of which have been helpful on tough days. Good luck!
Anon says
thanks! i’ve read Siblings Without Rivalry, but perhaps should take another read of it and will try Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings. Last night we had them go around the table and say a rose/thorn/bud and every single rose and thorn had to do with each other…like their favorite thing was playing together, but they didn’t like it when sister scratched them etc. (though after the first twin said her thorn involved her sister, the other one made her thorn about that too).
AwayEmily says
I can’t remember which resource recommended this, but we have leaned into the “vocalizing how hard it is” part. When I’m with just one kid, I’ll say sympathetically “it can be really hard to be a big sister/little brother,” and then share some stories (largely made-up tbh) about my own struggles as a kid being a sibling, then let them talk for awhile about whatever incidents are bothering them. It seems to help them feel less alone in their struggles, and less likely to take out their frustration on each other.
Anon says
My twins are a year older than yours and basically every time you post I don’t have any helpful solution other than to say this seems to be totally normal and my twins behave exactly the same way. One thing that works sometimes is intentionally alternating and taking turns–this keeps mine from fighting about who gets to brush their teeth first. For the racing to the bathroom to body-check their sister out of the way, we usually let the one who voiced the need go first and remind the other there’s an upstairs toilet she can use if she’s desperate.
I can’t remember–are they in daycare or home with you all the time? Life in our house has gotten much smoother now that our twins have other kids to play with and time apart from each other during the day. I’m not sure if 3-4 was just a really rough age or if it was all the forced togetherness from the pandemic isolation, but lately things have been smoothing out.
OP says
even hearing that your twins behave the exact same way is helpful to hear! sometimes when we play with only children or even families who have another 3.5 year old and then a baby or one year old, the dynamic is totally different. so they were home with a nanny and now they go to preschool part time, though they are in the same class due to covid. at school, one is a social butterfly and the other is more independent preferring to play by herself or talk to the teachers (which is a whole other issue). they are very very very different from one another, which can also make things challenging at times when solo parenting them, but also keeps life interesting i suppose.
AnotherTwinMom says
Late response, but I have twins who turned 3 a few months ago and have to respond. I think most advice on sibling relationships is helpful but doesn’t perfectly address the twin dynamic, especially, as you mentioned because of covid. My twins were also home together almost exclusively until they started part time preschool this year, in the same class, and it’s a LOT of together. They love each other and want to play together almost all the time, but that leads to conflict too. I’m hoping time and space will help. For now, I do find that getting outside is usually helpful too, although it’s tougher as the weather gets colder. Solidarity!
Cb says
First term of teaching in my new job is nearly done. Last lecture tomorrow, and my husband and son are here visiting and we’ll all fly home together on Wednesday. We’re back on WFH “recommended” so it looks like I’ll be home for 7 weeks! I’ll still have to pay my work-city rent but no flights, extra food costs from travelling. My master’s teaching went really well, undergrads were a rougher ride but a good learning experience. Husband and son were such good sports about me being gone half the week, and in the end, it felt pretty manageable for all of us.
Pogo says
that’s so awesome! I feel like it went by so fast too. My older son has gotten SO much better with me travelling – I feel like the peak difficulty was 2-3 when he didn’t really understand what was happening and was also in a huge mommy phase.
Cb says
I travelled quite a bit between 1.5 and 2.5 and he was so good about it, but then going from “we’re all at home, all the time….” to gone half the week could have been harder than it was. We’ve got a big annual calendar where we mark off away days, holidays etc, and it’ll be interesting to see how often I’m gone over the course of the year? I suspect, in Laura Vanderkam thinking, it feels like a lot, but maybe it’ll be less than a third?
Curious says
How did that time fly by so fast?! Congratulations and may the next batch of undergrads be less entitled :)
Anon says
Welp, we finally have our first daycare quarantine. My kid was home with visiting family last week so she thankfully wasn’t exposed. But we have no childcare for the next two weeks.
Couple of questions: do you get any info from your schools about the status/size of an outbreak? I would really like to eventually know if this case resulted in any other cases in the classroom, but I don’t know if they’ll tell us about subsequent cases since we won’t be direct contacts.
And can you generally use sick leave for this? I can’t imagine I’m going to get much done with a non-napping 3 year old at home (and I don’t want to destroy my physical and mental health working day shifts with the kid and night shifts at work the way I did in spring/summer 2020), but I don’t want to burn two weeks of vacation time if I can avoid it. Taking half the days off or something like that isn’t a good plan because people will just reschedule all my meetings for the days I’m working, leaving me no time to actually work.
Anonymous says
We get alerts whenever there’s a case of anything on our center’s list (so, flu, HFM, RSV, croup, etc.). Kids are required to have proof of negative covid test OR a note from a doctor if they miss a day for illness. We get # of cases (they send out an alert on Brightwheel as soon as they find out), plus an extra alert if the case was in my kiddo’s class or they know there was a direct contact. As an example, my kid got RSV on the playground from a kid in another toddler class (playing on the slide at the same time). We knew she’d been exposed, and we told the school as soon as her positive test came back. We got the alert for her positive test, plus an alert for one of her classmates while she was still out.
EDAnon says
My work allows the use of sick leave for covid quarantine/child care issues. Under the standard policy, it would not be allowed. However, as a supervisor, I would not be upset if someone took sick leave to cover. Depending on the role, I may expect that they get some work done.
Anonymous says
If they are burning sick leave, it’s not fair to expect them to do any work. If you want them to get work done, they should be WFH without claiming leave during the times that they are working.
Anonymous says
I use sick leave for this, but our sick leave policy specifically includes something to the effect of, leave required due to public health emergency. That said, your last sentence was how I mostly got through– treading water at half-time and punting anything not super time sensitive until after quarantine. Can you skip any of those meetings, or have someone sit in for you? Major triaging may help.
Anonymous says
There is no general answer on sick leave
Anon says
since your kid wasn’t actually exposed – are you at all comfortable calling in another caregiver? do kids wear masks at your kid’s daycare? are teachers vaccinated? i know there are breakthrough cases and i know many people who’ve had them, but if the teacher is vaccinated and has tested negative, could you have the teacher come work for you, masked? do you have a partner you can split this time with? i have 2 three year olds who don’t nap so i would also struggle to get anything done, but when i am with just one of them, i tend to have a bit more leeway. one likes to “work” next to me, screentime, etc.
TheElms says
If your kid wasn’t exposed can you get a back up nanny from a service? Does either your employer or your husband’s have a back up care benefit? If you can work from home the quality of the person is somewhat less concerning to me. Alternatively, can you pay a SAHM to watch kiddo part time or see if any of your regular sitters (if you have one) have more availability? I know its very expensive on top of paying for daycare but even if you did it for a couple days each week it would give you some time to do work. Then on the days with no childcare can you trade with your husband? My husband and I traded off for childcare at the beginning of the pandemic working 2 biglaw jobs (admittedly our kid still napped) and while it wasn’t sustainable for us given we typically work 10 hours a day each, its not impossible if you can get by with doing 5 hours a day and you know its time limited. I would get up with kid and be with her until about 2pm then trade with DH so I could work from 2pm to 7pm and then I’d log back in after bedtime and work 8pm until midnight or whenever I got too tired. (I know you said you don’t want to do this but even without doing work after bedtime you’d get 5 hours of work each day). DH did the reverse, he worked 9am-2pm and then watched kiddo from 2pm-7pm, and logged back in after bedtime.
So Anon says
When my kids’ public school went remote two weeks ago, we learned about the number of cases, including that there was evidence of school-based transmission.
In terms of work, can you work half days but block your calendar for half of that time? So you work 8-noon but block your calendar for 2 or 3 of those mornings, and let colleagues know that you will be available for meetings on Tuesday and Thursday morning?
Boston Legal Eagle says
We typically get an email from the center when a child or a close contact of a child tests positive. If child (or teacher, but hasn’t happened yet) tests positive, that class goes into quarantine for the days required. Kids can come back with a negative test after 7 days from exposure. In your case, your kid wasn’t actually exposed, so should theoretically be allowed back, but maybe they don’t have space in other classrooms? I would check though. We haven’t gotten emails about other kids testing positive from the first case, so I’m not aware of any major classroom transmissions, but it’s certainly possible.
In our situation, we typically have my dad come for the mornings, but also can switch off between my husband and me throughout the day. Our 3 year old still naps though. It’s not fun, but doable. I wouldn’t burn vacation time for this. My coworkers can just deal with me not being available at all times.
Anonymous says
two weeks of quarantine? Double check the dates on that. For us (kids in daycare, preK and also elem school, all separate schools with different rules) the rule is quarantine as soon as you know you’ve been exposed, then you are clear after 7 days post exposure if you are still asymptomatic and have a negative PCR test on day 5.
if you’re finding out now, that probably means Kiddo was exposed before thanksgiving. You should be out of quarantine this week as long as kiddo stays asymptomatic and tests negative.
Anonymous says
oops, sorry, I missed this. Your kiddo isn’t a close contact but daycare is closed? Hire help. Don’t take sick leave.
Pogo says
+100000.
As far as communication, we are told about # cases and where transmission occurred. There has been no transmission at our center, which I attribute to the mask wearing and hand washing policies for students and staff. The class closures and quarantines are semi frequent, but we’ve only been impacted once so far (knock on wood). Like others, we could return with a negative test after a certain number of days as determined by the board of health.
Anon says
We get emails from daycare outlining the plan (when you can test and send kids back with a negative) that coincide with guidance from our county health department. We actually got notified of a kid testing positive this weekend and they allow any kid who wasn’t in school last week to still come, they’re just closing the classroom and using an empty one instead. Thankfully it wasn’t my kid’s classroom but if it happens my plan is to take FMLA.
Cosco Scenera Next but bigger? says
My son is about to outgrow the Cosco Scenera Next, height-wise (maybe just torso). Any consensus here on the best bigger travel car seat? Forward-facing, ease of transport (i.e. relatively light and easy to haul around; generally we install on planes rather than checking) is the priority.
Anon says
Cosco Finale. Won’t last forever if you have a long torsoed kid but by 3.5 we weren’t using car seats on airplanes anyway.
TheElms says
Cosco Finale is a great choice if your kid is over 30lbs (that is the lower weight limit), if not, I’d look at the Graco Transitions (it goes down to 22lbs for the lower weight limit). It weighs more than the Cosco finale but is still only 13-14lbs and that’s pretty light.
Leatty says
We use the Evenflo Maestro for travel and have been happy with it. It’s more cushioned than the Cosco and weighs less than 10lb.
Anon says
Finale, Tranzitions, or Maestro are the best options.
Tranzitions is the heaviest but you’ll be able to get more years out of it because it turns into a booster and the shoulder straps go up higher.
The Finale is super light, same amount of cushioning as the Scenera Next (if you’re used to that) and easier to install than the Tranzitions. It needs to be used with a top tether, though, so not good for international travel and has a 30 lb minimum. It won’t last as long for tall torso kids, but my 40th percentile 4.5 yo is still on the lowest strap position.
The Maestro is in-between the two in terms of weight–I don’t have personal experience with this one, because we decided the width made it less useful for putting 2 kids in carseats in the same airplane row, fitting 3-across in the back of a taxi, etc.
NYCer says
Much more expensive than the Cosco, but you might also want to consider the WAYB Pico.
Anonymous says
posted last week but too late. What are you getting the 8 year old girls in your life? Also, any ideas for a 3.5 year old girl who is the 3rd child (a million hand me downs) and has EVERYTHING she could ever want but who will very much notice if she gets no presents or all practical things like socks and clothes. ;)
Anon says
so i have 3.5 year old twins, and i know some people don’t like these things, but any craft kit, or playdough toy which is something that can’t really be passed down from another sibling. there is also some cool sidewalk chalk out there, like a melissa and doug ice cream themed chalk or some solar system themed. i know this toy hasnt been as popular for a while, but i read somewhere that mr. potato head is making a comeback so idk if you already have that? or something to add onto something else – like if you have magnatiles, they now make some fun looking animal sets, etc.
AwayEmily says
I like the craft idea for the 3.5yo. My 3.5yo is super into “treasures” like little rocks and old jewelry of mine. I recently bought him an unfinished wooden “treasure chest” from Target, plus a bunch of paint, stickers, and glitter to decorate it, and he stores all of his treasure in there. His sister isn’t allowed to open/touch it.
anon says
For the 3yo, go for consumables. Stickers, chalk, crayons, colored pencils, colored paper, etc. Maybe also something like a new outfit for a favorite stuffed animal or doll or a new hat or cape for dressup.
SC says
Are unicorns still a thing? A few years ago, I bought a unicorn sequin pillow from Etsy for my niece. Her mom said it was her favorite Christmas gift that year, and she gave one to her best friend for her birthday about a month later.
Walnut says
My 4 year old has an obnoxious pink unicorn squish-mallow that she adores. New comforter/sheets with character of choice is another idea.
anon says
My 8 yo has requested a hoverboard for Christmas. I’m also considering getting her a magic set, build-your-own robotic hand, rubix cube with instruction book, electric toothbrush, and high top sneakers.
Word on the street from a playdate of 8 and 9 yos yesterday is is that unicorns are now “uncool.”
anon says
Other 8 yo options include walkie talkies, a rock tumbler or a science kit (National Geographic makes a good version). All were hits for us.
She also loves the games Mastermind and Labyrinth.
anon says
For the 3.5 yo could you do a box of tempra paint sticks (super cool and new-ish to me) and a fancy box castle or ship to be colored.
My 3.5 yo always wanted dress up stuff and pretending toys like a doctor set, shopping cart and cash register, if any of those need to be refreshed.
Pogo says
Agree on dress up, truly any costume can work. My 4yo particularly enjoys the cozy onesie-type costumes (think dinosaur or bear or cat).
anon says
8ny/o: Books + a Barnes and noble gift card so she can pick out her own books, sketch pad, personalized journal, Harry Potter lego, face paint
EDAnon says
My 8yo niece loves cooking and baking, so I am getting her baking tools and a grocery store gift card (so she can pick her own ingredients)
Anne says
3.5 year old – all of the stickers, coloring books, over the top headbands (i.e. unicorn, cat ears), purse with her name on it.
anon says
Magazine subscription — the gift that keeps on giving! My grandmother buys subscriptions to Highlights for our kids, and they adore it. I appreciate that it isn’t another plastic doodad to clutter up the house.
Anonymous says
OP here. Wow, I think the answer here is “nothing” because my kids have basically all of the stuff above. Except a magic set.
Fwiw we have a hover board and my 8 y/o is too nervous to use it but my 3.5 y/o loves it. Mom of the year right here.
Santa is bringing a zip line which I think is what my 8 y/o will like best. I just want a good present from mom and dad, too. American girl stuff is always a hit but she has plenty and doesn’t have anything specific on her list.
anon says
BTW- this is the “Mega cyborg hand” that my 8 yo is pining over, just in case anyone else is looking for a middle grade STEM present.
https://www.target.com/p/thames-38-kosmos-mega-cyborg-hand-stem-experiment-kit/-/A-79405412?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012544494&CPNG=PLA_Toys%2BShopping%7CToys_Ecomm_Hardlines&adgroup=SC_Toys&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=c&location=21180&targetid=pla-310369832098&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1248099&gclid=Cj0KCQiAkZKNBhDiARIsAPsk0Wj-iSF394r2HJAmElEd4RBq–nsk_V8UgEDA9hwnBr-M4rIZ0XodjkaAiweEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
anon says
for 3.5yo who gets hand-me-downs: fancy beach towel with name monogramed? Or something else specifically “hers”?
Anon says
happy hannukah to all those who celebrate! how do you handle gifts? last night i just gave my 3 year old some stickers bc i could tell we were heading towards a major meltdown from exhaustion and she was delighted. she didn’t seem to understand why she was even getting a present. i have a closet full of toys from relatives and a part of me wants to keep this idea of Hannukah not having to do with presents, but that also seems unrealistic. any tips on how to handle gifts?
Anonymous says
Following with interest. We are not really doing gifts with my 2.5 year old this year, but I did get him some cute socks and a couple of new books, which we’ll be spreading out over the next few nights. I think just lighting the candles and talking about it is enough. Last night when we lit the candles and sang the blessing he said “wow, that’s a good song!” so that was adorable.
Anon says
We do gifts but we try to do small and reasonably practical things. This year gifts include her own menorah (by far the most $$ gift but something that should be used for many years), books (some of which are free Dolly Parton/PJ library books), Hanukkah PJs, gelt, some art supplies and one small toy my husband wanted to give (knockoff light sabers).
Anon says
Adding that we’ve done gifts since birth, but I think we could have not done it until this year (she’s 3 now) without any issues. But now she knows what Christmas is and that Santa brings other kids presents and I think not doing gifts for Hanukkah would be hard because she’d be really sad.
OP says
i’d love to keep it small, but i have a closet full of toys which i guess i will have to give my kids. i just wish i could make the holiday about more than just gifts. why are gifts such a main part of christmas? i feel like gifts only became part of hannukah due to christmas
Anon says
I don’t think giving presents make the holiday all about presents. The candle lighting, dreidel games and latke-making are all important parts of the holiday that my kid really looks forward to. That said, I grew up with gifts on Hanukkah so it’s not weird to me for the holiday to include presents and I know a lot of families (including my husband’s) feel differently.
Anon says
i also grew up with lots of gifts at hannukah and dreidels and candle lighting and latke making, my parents went all out, but i also definitely remember focusing on what gift i’d get each night and one year being disappointed when i didnt like my gifts, which in retrospect feels kind of spoiled, but i guess that is part of life
anon says
We celebrate Christmas, but have both kids’ birthdays within two weeks of the holidays! So I understand the desire to avoid this gift overload. So, a few tips I’ve used/gotten from others — if you aren’t worried about certain out-of-town relatives being upset, set aside a few gifts for later in the year/snow days/sick days, etc. It makes them very special. I even did this with some gifts they unwrapped but didn’t actually open. We also have gotten some relatives (MIL, my mom, one aunt) to go in on combo/birthday/Christmas gift rather than a bunch of smaller toys. Last year was a playhouse, this year is a swingset. Maybe next year you can kind of steer it to something like a zoo membership or a larger toy/experience you know your kid will like? A mom of six I know also had grandparents/aunts/uncles kind of pick an activity when the kids were school aged, and I thought it was great. So, uncle so-and-so would pay for flute lessons, then he was the uncle always invited to the flute concerts, and then if the kid stayed with that activity maybe later on he helped chip in for a band trip etc. As for how to keep holidays focused on meaning/religion and not only gifts, I’ll be following for more ideas because it’s not easy.
Anon says
Gifts are the main focus of Christmas because the holiday has become so secular/commodified. When it’s divorced from its religious origins, what else is there? And from a religious POV gift-gifting is reminiscent of the three wise men’s gifts, as well as the gift of Jesus.
But I agree that presents aka consumerism are over the top in all realms of modern life.
Anon says
This is nonsense. There are tons of secular part of Christmas other than gifts. Making cookies. Going to see Christmas displays and lights. Decorating the tree as a family. Visiting relatives. Sponsoring a family. Building gingerbread houses. Making ornaments. Going to Christmas concerts. Etc.
I grew up religious and the only difference for my family is a church service on Christmas eve and a nativity display at home. The togetherness and family aspect is all still there.
Pogo says
I grew up religious too and this comment baffles me. I also don’t see why it’s a problem that Christmas is secularized, who cares? It’s not a zero sum game where there’s only a limited amount of Christmas cheer to go around and if all the atheists take it up there’s none left for the ‘real’ Christians. Also isn’t Christmas mostly an adapted Pagan celebration?
Anon Lawyer says
Some of us like giving gifts – if you don’t, your kid may be sad but they’re not going to be scarred for life. It’ll be fine. But I like gift giving, I like having a tree and lights in the dark of winter, and I like having a nice meal with my family. So I’m gonna keep doing my secular celebration .
Anonymous says
Eh, we do gifts but in our house the main focus of Christmas is CHOIR. Church choir, youth choir, school choir holiday concert. So happy all of our choirs are back in person with masks. And at home it’s all about carols around the piano. Make a joyful noise!
Anonymous says
The first couple years we just did books (pricey during the picture book years, but grandparents helped). This year for the 6 yo I broke up a lego set into eight mini sets. It’s a total slog from mid-November birthday through Hanukkah to Christmas, so I’d add cleaning out the toys and books in September if you do both winter holidays.
Anonymous says
My kids are 6 and 3. We do gifts every night. But because there are grandparents and uncles as well as us, we don’t get them each 8 gifts ourselves- some nights are from other family members. We generally keep it low key but have one or two bigger gifts (toy guitar for example or magnatiles have been big gifts in the past). Smaller gifts are socks, or rain boots they need anyway, art supplies we are running low on, or tonight’s will be winter gloves. So some fun things (koala tshirt! Play mail bag!) and some much less exciting. This may out me but one of the biggest hits s few years ago was a regular pair of kitchen tongs that was about $2.
anonamama says
Coming off our first holiday road trip in two years, would love to know what travel (and packing!!!) hacks everyone swears by or something they just learned that was a success!
Here’s my tiny win: grabbed a farm auction catalog at a rural rest stop and the trucks, tractors and heavy haulers seemed to quell the pain of the tablet being taken away from LO for an attempt at naptime. Then fun to rip apart upon waking!
Anonymous says
OMG, I remember that we used one of those too one year when my son was young and digger-obsessed. It was such a hit. SkyMall, may it RIP, was also useful for this.
DLC says
Yes! My four year old LOVES the Uline catalog. He points out all the dollies and hand trucks and shelving on wheels and asks if we can get them for the house.
EDAnon says
That’s a great idea! We have started using Google Maps to find a random playground when the kids get antsy. Every small town has something and my kids think just about every playground is amazing! One time we stopped at three pirate themed playgrounds in one day (totally randomly) which the kids thought was amazing and gave us full credit for ?. It’s way more fun than rest stops and burns off a lot more energy than anything else we have found.
anonamama says
Three pirate themed playgrounds in one day?! This is the stuff of parental legend. I hope this comes up fondly at the dinner table when they are home from college one day :)
anonamommy says
My kid’s birthday is in late January and it just occurred to me that she has not been invited to a single birthday party this year. She started at a new private school this fall, 3rd grade. At her old school we did parties with her whole small class. I have no idea if parties aren’t happening because of covid or if they are and she is not invited, which I suspect is more likely. How would you handle this? I don’t really have any mom friends there that I can ask directly if my kid is being excluded. Inviting the whole class is possible but also quite expensive, there are 22 kids and most places she’d want to hold it go up like $100 for every 5 additional kids.
Anon says
No advice but we’re in the same boat with my almost 4 year old. Cost isn’t a huge factor but I’m scared to invite the whole class and have no one show up. But my kid knows what a birthday party is (unlike last year) and will be so disappointed if she doesn’t have one. I don’t know what to do :(
anon says
No one has been doing whole class parties here because of COVID. Parties are smaller with more like 5-8 kids who are close friends. I’d start by having playdates with kids from school to see if she can make some close-ish friends.
Anon says
I feel like vaccines for this age group are a game changer though – no? I don’t think it’s weird to be the first one to do a whole class party if it’s soon after kids this age were able to get vaccinated.
anon says
I think this is going to vary regionally. Parents here are still being really cautious.
Anon says
But no 8 year olds are fully vaccinated yet. You really don’t think people will change their behavior at all once their kids are vaxxed? We’ve been incredibly Covid cautious (even by the standards of this community) but we plan to basically go back to normal once the kids are fully vaccinated.
anon says
No. I’m coaching a team of 8-10 yos and the parents have been very clear that we’ll have to continue to only meet outside in January and February to reduce COVID risk, even after their kids are vaccinated, even though the activity is not at all amenable to meeting outside in the cold.
Anonymous says
I don’t think anyone can predict what attitudes towards gatherings will be in late January. Omicron is on the way.
AwayEmily says
Very few people are doing parties here, period (my kid is almost 6). I’m reasonably close (as in, we text) with a bunch of of her friends’ parents and they have largely just done family-only parties (as have we). Some kids with summer birthdays had outdoor ones, but that’s all. So it’s not implausible that there are just not parties happening, or that they are super small.
Anon says
her party could also include friends from her old school or neighbors, etc. by 3rd grade to kids start having girl only and boy only parties? has she talked about wanting a birthday party? is there something else she really likes that you could do special as a family instead? like one year my friend’s daughter had a choice between a bday party and a day at an amusement park and she chose the amusement park
NYCer says
Has she made any “closer” friends at school yet? Does she have friends from outside of school you could invite? If I were in your shoes, I would plan on a smaller party. The suggestion of doing a few play dates is a good one if she doesn’t have (m)any close friends at school yet.
FWIW, my second grader’s class has been a bit of mixed bag, with most people doing smaller parties (5-8 kids), but a few doing full class parties.
Anon says
Sorry to hijack OP’s thread, but how does the making-friends-through-playdates thing work when other people don’t reciprocate? We’ve invited half a dozen kids from my daughter’s class to our house for playdates and all but one of the playdates went really well (I observed my kid sharing and taking turns really well, lots of laughter, and some of the kids even started crying when they had to leave our house), but no one has ever invited my kid on a playdate or to a birthday party. I have no idea who we could invite to a birthday party for her, and she’s old enough that she’s starting to become aware that she has no real friends and it breaks my heart, but I don’t know how to fix it.
Anon says
Get to know the other parents. More playdates, plus soccer games, basketball, dance, PTA events, playground meet ups, etc. More contact equals more chances to build a connection. It takes time.
Anon says
Do you keep inviting people to playdates when they don’t reciprocate? I feel weird doing that. We’re not doing any organized activities yet but hopefully that will change soon. I guess I do feel like my lack of connection with other parents is holding her back, and I hate that. Maybe things will be better when more parents are comfortable with drop-off playdates and inviting our kid doesn’t mean an awkward hang out with us?
Anon says
I’ll keep inviting as long as my kid enjoys the playdates.
EDAnon says
I keep inviting people even if they don’t reciprocate, if it’s someone my kid likes. I try not to take it personally if people don’t reach out. Obviously, I feel better with the people who do reciprocate because it makes the relationship feel more balanced. But I have a policy of continual reach out unless they start declining invites routinely.
We have one set of friends (from before we had kids) who are the worst about reciprocating, but we have known each other for years and joke about it now. It just took us reaching out all the time and always having a good time when we were together for it to become comfortable.
Anonymous says
This. With kids young enough to have the parents stay for playdates, I’ve noticed that playdates are almost always arranged as a way for mom friends to hang out together. The kids are an afterthought. When the kids get older the moms hang out together without the kids and playdates taper off, with the exception of sleepovers. Then around middle school the kids start setting up their own hangout time with friends, either one-on-one or in groups.
CPA Lady says
I have a bunch of mom friends and my kid has a bunch of friends. I don’t pay attention to who does or doesn’t reciprocate. It’s not something I literally ever think about and I have zero self consciousness or social anxiety about it. I just invite people if I want them to come over. If the playdate goes well, invite again. Some initial awkwardness is just a normal part of life when getting to know a new friend and I don’t dwell on it much. If someone invites us somewhere, I try to go. If I’m going to the playground, I’ll text people and see if they want to meet us there. If we’re doing an activity, I see if anyone wants to come with us. If they say no, that’s totally fine, I’m not offended or hurt at all, and I don’t see it as a rejection. We’re all busy and we all have different levels of tolerance for spontaneous outings and hanging out with other people in our limited free time.
And I would generally RATHER hang out with the parents vs. doing drop off play dates because that’s how I get mom friends. And the more mom friends I have, the more mom friends I can make, because then this person might think to include me or introduce me when they’re hanging out with their other parent friend. I live in a small city though, and I run into the same people over and over — kid activities, in my neighborhood, at church, fundraising events, etc. A lot of repeated, casual points of contact is the beginning of building your friendship network, IMO. Do you feel awkward about having to make small talk at first? I find it super helpful to pair doing a task with getting to know someone — volunteer in the same time slot as a potential mom friend for an activity that needs parental volunteers, that way you can chat while assembling gift baskets for the school fundraiser or whatever. I also highly recommend signing your kid up for extracurriculars that other kids they like are doing. That’s normally a good easy way to get to know some of the other parents in way that doesn’t involve overthinking about who invited who, etc. You’re both stuck in the ballet studio waiting room for an hour every Thursday. Might as well make the best of it!
You’ll eventually figure out who your people are after a bunch of experiences and then once you find a group, you’re all set.
Signed, an Extrovert. :)
NYCer says
+1 to everything CPA Lady said!
Anon says
i fear that this is my future with one of my daughters. sending hugs. sounds like the kids had lots of fun at your house playing with your daughter. maybe you just got unlucky in the sense that the kids you invited over don’t have the types of parents that initiate playdates? or live near a ton of family. members?
Anon says
Yeah a couple of the kids even said to me “I wanted to have [kid] over to my house/I wanted to come play at your house again but my parents said no” so I really think it’s the parents driving this decision, not that other kids don’t want to play with my kid. Maybe they just aren’t interested in playdates or maybe they hated spending time with my and husband and me, but either way makes me sad that my kid is suffering the consequences of something that doesn’t seem to be her fault.
Anon says
I’m sorry. That stinks. We’re in the same boat – we just had a baby so I think not getting invited places for that reason. Also DH and I (especially him) are just not that social. I feel bad about it!
Anon says
My kid has a summer birthday, so we’ve never done the “whole class party” thing for her. We have a few cousins and one or two close friends instead. She has never complained. You don’t need to invite everyone.
How COVID conscious in your area/school? We frequently attend indoor, whole class parties (20+ kids) but we are in a red state.
Anon says
Most parties we’ve been to this past year (and really just summer/fall) have been us and 1-2 other kids, and that’s how I did my own son’s party; the exception was one that was outdoors at a playground and picnic table area and they had a lot of friends and family. I never liked whole class parties so this is fine by me! If you are worried about attendance, maybe reach out to the parents of a couple close friends and make sure the date works for them.
SC says
People in my area have gone back to normal in almost every aspect, but I have not seen a return to whole-class parties for any age group. We’ve been to several family-only parties. I think there was already a feeling of parties being a little out of control, and Covid gave people an excuse to rein it in. This may be a semi-permanent change.
Anonymous says
I am on board with that change. I have other things to do on weekends.
anon says
Agreed. I hate trying to get “extra” places/events on time, dressed up, etc. (especially with two kids now). And my introverted son needs time just at home.
Mary Moo Cow says
Last year, my turning-5 year old’s birthday party in May was the first one in her kindergarten class. There was only one other party that year, in June. This year, my 4 year old had the first birthday party, in August, and there weren’t anymore until December. I know that other kids in each class have had birthdays, but either they aren’t having parties or aren’t inviting everyone — and since my kids aren’t coming home talking about hearing other kids talking about parties, I don’t think they are happening.
At our private school, the rule is that you can’t hand out invitations at school unless you invite everyone. I always err on the side of inviting everyone. Yes, it is more expensive, and sometimes it is a daunting prospect, but I don’t want hurt feelings at this young age. There will be time for smaller group parties down the road.
Anon says
Thanks for this comment, it makes me feel better about potentially being the first one to do a whole class party next spring. I totally agree with you that there’s lots of time for smaller parties down the road when kids have stronger feelings about their friendships, and I’m sad we aren’t getting to do the whole class party thing in preschool.
Spirograph says
Are you worried that you child is being excluded, or are you trying to figure out whether you need to invite the whole class to her upcoming party?
No help with the first, but for the second: 3rd grade seems old to me for a full-class party, even without a pandemic. That’s more of a preschool thing, IME. My oldest is in 3rd grade and although his birthday isn’t for a few more months, I already know he won’t want to invite the whole class. He has a couple good friends from school, a couple from our neighborhood, and a couple from his sports team that he’ll probably want to invite. We’ve only gone to a handful of birthday parties since covid and the only one that was full-class was a 5 year old’s outdoor community pool party. The rest had limited guest lists, even if they were outdoors.
Anonymous says
+1 to basically all of this. I don’t think whole class parties for a 3rd grader are typical, especially not in a pandemic in my area (NYC).
Baby gear question. says
Anyone skip getting a crib? Having my second kid nearly a decade after my first, and I find myself hesitant to invest in much baby gear before the little one arrives. We have a Snoo, which we plan to use for the first six months or so. Do we really need a crib after that, or would a pack and play work until baby is ready to move to a twin bed. Am I insane?
Anon says
I think it could work ok. The big thing I’d worry about is that a pack n play is way smaller than a traditional crib – 39″ vs 51″ and has a much lower weight limit (30 lbs IIRC?). If you have a tall or heavy kid, you’d probably need to move them to a real bed around or maybe even slightly before 2.
Anon says
We did the opposite and skipped the bassinet and just did the crib. I think as long as your LO doesn’t exceed any weight limits the pack and play would be fine, though maybe not the most comfortable, particularly if you have a tall and/or very mobile sleeper. My 5 month old is pretty average height but does circles in his sleep and kept running into the pack and play edges more than he does his crib when we’ve used it.
Anon says
A pack n play would probably not work if you want to move from there to a traditional twin bed, but if you’re open to moving baby to a floor bed/mattress that might be okay. My 7-month-old is currently in a pack n play for space reasons, but I can’t imagine it’d be comfortable or big enough for regular use after about a year old. I’m strongly considering the floor bed myself, though, so it is a valid option
anon says
Hm, I think depends on the kid. For #2 we did buy a secondhand crib (and they threw in extra sheets etc, score). We used a pack n play on the higher setting (??idk what it’s called) as like a bassinet then did crib. But #2 is a climber and could get out pack n plays/cribs pretty early so pack n play to toddler bed would not have worked for us. We did the crib transition to toddler bed thing, and then will probably go to twin-sized at about 3. (#1 probably would have stayed in a pack n play until at least 2, but I also didn’t want to look at one for that long??).
What about just planning to do pack-n-play to “floor mattress” — you could do that a lot earlier than full/high twin-sized bed.
NYCer says
My second child went straight from a mini crib to a queen bed (before she turned 2 – she asked to sleep in the big bed and never looked back). It has been totally fine.
Anon says
Pack and plays seem uncomfortable to me – I’d do a crib. You can pick up used ones on FB Marketplace.
Anonymous says
I think it would work. Our daughter napped in a pack n play until she was 3, and slept in a bed at night, so we totally could have skipped the crib. (she shares a room with a sibling and they needed separate spaces to nap but are fine at night).
Pogo says
Agree it really depends. You could definitely move kiddo to a twin mattress on the floor whenever they outgrow/are able to escape the PnP, but that may be before you area ready to be done containing them. I was pro-containment for as long as possible.
I used to agree w/ comments about the PnP being small/uncomfortable but then my kid napped in a PnP for like 3 years, and he still (age 4) sleeps on the bare floor sometimes just for kicks. I don’t think kids care.
anon says
We skipped the crib with our second. He went from one of the Finnish baby sleep boxes to a PnP, transitioned to a bed when he was about 3. He loved his little PnP nest, would arrange his blankets and stuffier in the proper configuration every night at bedtime.
TheElms says
It really depends on the kid. My kid was tall enough / strong enough at 18 months to knock the pack and play over while inside it and could climb out by about 20 months. So we would have needed to transition to a twin bed potentially as early as 18 months? Perhaps a twin bed with a trundle and initially the kid sleeps on the trundle (so basically a floor bed) would work at that point. Alternatively you could have a smaller more mild mannered child and be totally fine until 2 or 3 in a pack n play. Also if the pack n play doesn’t end up working long enough a crib is pretty easy to get and can be very inexpensive /free from a friend, FB marketplace, a mom group or an IKEA crib. Chances are you would have needed the pack n play for a trip anyways so it wouldn’t really be a waste to have both.
Anon says
We did a Montessori floor bed. Worked great (you have to baby proof the whole room) until we moved and had lever style door handles in the new apartment.
Honestly, I’d get whatever baby gear you need off of Craigslist or Facebook marketplace.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My 3 year old is still in a crib and he’s been there since around 5-6 months, after we moved him out of the pack n play. He wouldn’t fit in a pack n play now and I’m all about containment as long as possible (may move him to a bed sometime at 3.5+) so I’m happy with the crib.
Anonymous says
I would do a crib that can convert to a toddler bed because you can get one used for next to nothing and won’t have to reach down so low to pick up the baby as you would with a PNP. Also, IIRC there is no good way to clean a basic PNP “mattress” – it is like a sheet of masonite encased in fabric, no? My kid had reflux and I was very grateful for a vinyl covered mattress, waterproof mattress covers, and multiple changes of sheets. And we didn’t move “baby” to a twin until he was 5 or 6.
Anonymous says
I don’t think you’re insane! One of my kids slept in the Lotus travel crib until she was about three, when she transitioned to a toddler bed. Small house and it is what worked for us!
Anon OP says
Thanks, everyone! I think part of this is just general anxiety about this pregnancy (several miscarriages before). I know it’s not rationale, but I don’t want to jinx anything. I wonder if I will feel more comfortable buying things like a crib once the baby is here. As someone mentioned below, they’re not hard to come by. I think I’m going to just give myself permission to not worry about it until after birth.
Anonymous says
Totally fine to wait until the baby arrives to buy a crib if you have somewhere else for the baby to sleep! Due to covid shipping delays, my kid’s crib arrived a few weeks after the kid did, and it took another month before we had time to put it together.
Anon says
Don’t worry about it until birth. The baby can sleep in a PNP or bassinet for the first few months – that’s common even if you own a crib already. Sorry for your losses and hope all goes well.
Seafinch says
Ah, I am so sorry. I have RPL and I was so nervous in my first successful pregnancy after the losses started. Wait to buy or not a crib. You won’t need it for awhile, anyway!
anon says
We went from Guava (side zip is key!) right to a twin bed.
Runner504 says
We did the SNOO then mattress on the floor (whole room baby proofed). Worked great. Pregnant and planning to do it again.
Puzzle shopping says
Favorite source for puzzles? I’m thinking 500-1000 piece ones that my five and six year old can help with so not stupid hard, but still adult if that makes sense!
Spirograph says
If you’re shopping in person, I’ve seen them at Michael’s and Bed Bath and Beyond. I picked up a couple of very bright Kodak ones that were a hit with my 6 year old the past year. Ask around of friends and neighbors, too, we swap puzzles all the time. My kids will repeat puzzles with fewer than 100 pieces, but there’s not much “replayability” for the bigger ones.
Also, I highly, highly recommend a puzzle mat, unless you have some magical space in your house that kids and pets will never interfere with a puzzle-in-progress.
anon says
Barnes and Noble always has a good puzzle selection. I’m a big fan of the Ravensburg Puzzle brand.
CPA Lady says
I really like eeBoo and mudpuppy brand puzzles for this type of thing.
Anonymous says
Mudpuppy is PERFECT. My 8 year old does not love puzzles but gladly jumps into the 500 piece mudpuppy ones, especially the ones that are divided into nine individual squares (Little Feminists is my fave!).
Anonymous says
We have a lot of 300 piece Buffalo Games puzzles. You can buy directly from them. We find our 5 and 6 YO kids are really good at doing the brightly colored puzzles of repeated objects – popsicles, donuts, dogs. These are good because each kid can do his or her piece (like all the green popsicles, brown dogs, etc) – without the other kid being in the way. 300 pieces seems to be our sweet spot, but they do have larger puzzles as well. These aren’t strictly adult puzzles, but the adults in our house enjoy doing them!
Anonymous says
I love puzzles! I’ve found puzzles with larger pieces are easier for kids to help with. My kindergartner and I’ve really enjoyed the 500 and 750 piece illustrated “Cats” series puzzles from Buffalo. And any 500 piece puzzle from Pomegranate art puzzles (these are so high quality! These are on my Christmas list)
I love 1000 Ravensburger puzzles, but the actual pieces are smaller and kiddo seems to lose interest quicker with those.
If you want fully independent kid puzzling, Ravensburger has a kids line that has larger pieces and comes in 100 to 500 piece options. Kiddo can do a 100 or 200 piece by himself…while I work on a grown up one.
Your area may vary, but I’ve puzzles from the local Goodwill (huge selection, less than $5) and my neighborhood Buy Nothing Group—and give away on there when done. I’ve been surprisingly lucky with not missing any pieces from GW purchases (and BN posts will highlight any missing pieces). I do quite a few puzzles that it’s not a big deal if one is missing a piece or two.
DLC says
Anyone have favorite recent picture books ? I’m putting together the “something to read” part of the Christmas list and stuck on what is new and engaging for our two year old. We have a lot of classics and we go to the library a lot, but I feel like I’m not up on what has come out in the past year or so. Bonus points for trucks, boats, diverse characters, and good for bedtime reading.
Pogo says
Not new, but we love Byron Barton. Very simple books about trucks, boats, airplanes and many other topics. The prose is so simple and calming. I swear I nearly fall asleep every time we read them. My 4yo still likes them even though they are for younger children, partly because there is no real story he can make up his own about the pictures, and there’s no conflict which stresses him out sometimes.
DLC says
We have Byron Barton’s Trucks and she does love that one! I didn’t realize there were more… will have to check that out!
Pogo says
Airport is my favorite. It’s like “People come to the airport. They come to fly in big jet planes.” So weirdly soothing.
Anonymous says
None of these has come out in the last year, but:
Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site
Steam Train Dream Train
Scuffy the Tugboat
Where do Diggers Sleep at Night?
Goodnight Little Monsters
There’s a Bear in my Chair
Anon says
Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site has many sequels – all the ones I’ve read have been as good as the original.
I’m giving the latest one to my son this year
Anon says
I hate Goodnight Goodnight Construction S1te because every single truck is male. I change the pronouns when I read it to my kid but refuse to give it to others on principle.
Pogo says
In the sequel there are female vehicles!
Anonymous says
I also change the pronouns! My oldest got wise to it around age 5, but didn’t bother correcting me when I was reading to little siblings.
Anonymous says
Same! I change pronouns when reading but toddler recognizes the letter H and point every single He and His out…
And as someone in the engineering-construction industry, I always change Cement Mixer to Concrete Mixer
In SAT analogies,
cement:concrete :: flour:bread
Anonymous says
Hats of Faith is a neat picture book about diverse religious headgear (ie turban, kippah, head wrap, chunni, hijab) that we enjoyed a lot from ages 1-3.
In the Sea by David Elliott is a gorgeous book of wood cut illustrations with little poems about sea creatures – both our boys have loved it at 2-4.
Two Old Potatoes and Me by John Coy is another one our kids loved at 2-3, about a girl gardening with her dad. From the illustrations the family is African-American.
Anon says
My two year old just cried because we had to return Locomotive by Brian Floca to the library.
It’s for older kids so we don’t read all the text but it’s pretty interesting and was a Caldecott book. Bought it for Christmas and it was part of the Amazon deal.
My favorite truck book is Twenty Big Trucks in the Middle of the Street. The pictures are engaging and the story really rolls off the tongue. I also like reading The Little School Bus by Carol Roth and The Bus for Us (involves guessing trucks).
anon says
Not that recent (2016), but the kids have been actually laughing out loud at Grumpy Pants by Messer. I also LOVE Nikki McClure’s Mama Is It Summer Yet? The artwork is really unique in both. Another cute series that might be a bit longer for 2yo but my 4yo and 2yo both like is the Yasmin series (search Yasmin the Painter by Saadia Faruq). 2yo and 4 yo also both love any Daniel Tiger books (we watch the show sometimes but not daily or anything, and they’ll read the same DT book daily) and Sandra Boyton’s Silly Lullaby (they laugh at it and quote it nightly, seriously).
Anon says
These are all from 2019 or later: Flash the Little Fire Engine, Sofia Valdez Future Prez, Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea, Grace and Box.
5 Minute Stories are good for bedtime. They come in all kinds of different characters – Daniel Tiger, Peppa, Frozen, princesses, superheroes, etc.
Anonymous says
I’m one of the Goodnight Goodnight Construction S!te naysayers above. But LOVE “Construction Cat” by Barbara Odanaka. The mom cat goes to work on a construction site while the dad cat stays home and it has construction!
Other vehicle and construction recommendations: Roadwork by Sally Sutton, Amazing Machines set by Tony Mitton, and Ultimate Construction Site Book by Anne Sophie Baumann (pop up with intricate pieces…probably better for preschoolers and older)
anon says
Any ideas for books that an almost 12-year-old girl would enjoy? According to her mom, she’s not a big reader but will give it a try if something captures her interest. She plays volleyball (but isn’t passionate about it, by any means) and is interested in animals. She is good at baking, although I think her family probably has plenty of cookbooks already.
(FWIW, the book requirement is part of the gift exchange, so not looking to go off-script.)
anon says
What about a scrapbook with photo corners, stickers and gel pens?
anon says
What about a “How to Solve a Rubik’s cube” book with a Rubik’s cube? At 12 yo, I would have used a book like that to occupy myself while the adults and little kids socialized.
AwayEmily says
The Jasmine Green Rescues books are a nice animal-centric series, and a mom friend of mine whose kid is 11 and not super into reading said they were the first series that truly captured her attention. They’re arguably a bit young for a 12yo but worth a try.
Anon says
I’d get her a Rick Riordin book (the first Percy Jackson, maybe?) and a Raina Telgemaier book like Drama or Smile.
Curious says
The heroine in PS I love you is a great baker! The dating theme may be just a little old for her but the family and friendships are wonderful and the messages about relationships are right on.
Curious says
Oh, the first book is to all the boys I loved before
Curious says
Princess Diaries might also be good.
Anon says
Maybe Dairy Queen? I’m not sure if it would be too old for her but it’s such a great book and the main character is not a typical YA heroine – she’s a farmer so there’s a lot of talk about taking care of cows, she does poorly at school, and loves football.
DLC says
There is a book series about a girl that loves baking and becomes a secret restaurant critic- All Four Stars is the first one. I really loved them with my kid, but they might skew younger than a twelve year old.
MilkBar just released a kids baking book that is a lot of fun, though not a lot of variety in the recipes.
Taylor says
Any suggestions for a book about politics or US government for a 13 year old boy? He’s truly interested in politics and loves to read, but he’s also reading a lot of political things online that are just not smart.
Also any suggestions for an 8 year old who really likes sports but also loved the “I survived” series?
DLC says
Not a book, but what about a subscription to The Week Jr. for the 13 year old? Or just a regular newspaper subscription. Like the kind that comes to your house?
The eight year old might be into the “Who Was…?” Series.
Taylor says
I’ll check out The Week Jr! That would be fun.
The Who Was series looks good, maybe I’ll pick out politics/government people from there too – I’m not sure if the knows much about Booker T Washington for example!
Anonymous says
For the 8 year old – Guinness world record books related to sports. I think they exist.
Anon says
Look up the YALSA Award for Excellence in Nonfiction, for teen nonfiction books. They’ve had some great ones in the past dealing with politics, depending on how you want to go. This Land is Our Land was nominated in the past and was a great look at immigration policy through US history. There was also one about slavery, In the Shadow of Liberty.
Also, This is Our Constitution is good for middle schoolers to understand rights.
anon says
What about The My Name Is America book series? I loved these as a kid. No idea if they have aged well, but they seemed fairly progressive and are history focused.