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Jumpsuits are an integral part of my work-from-home wardrobe — they’re perfect for days when I can’t be bothered to find a matching top and bottom. While I always found jumpsuits to be the perfect combination between comfy and elevated, Thakoon just took them to the next level.
Thakoon’s new Zip-Up Sweatsuit is exactly that — a cozy, French terry crewneck sweatsuit with a flattering drawstring waist. It’s perfect for non-Zoom days, lounging around, or early springtime walks. It would pair well with a pair of retro sneakers and black leather jacket.
Right now, it’s only available in Camel, but I hope Thakoon releases it in more colors soon.
The sweatsuit is $150 and available in XS–XL.
This French terry jumpsuit from Kenedik is on sale for $34.97 at Nordstrom Rack; sizes M–XL are in stock. This one from ASOS comes in sizes 14–22 and is $40.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Anonymous says
Any recommendations for a nursing friendly dress for my sisters outdoor wedding in a southern state in early June? As a FTM with a pandemic baby, the whole thing is kind of overwhelming since I’ve essentially never taken the baby much of anywhere or nursed anywhere besides my living room. Any tips appreciated!
Anonymous says
Lots of style tips here!
https://apracticalwedding.com/cool-nursing-friendly-dresses/
Waffles says
ASOS maternity nursing dresses and tops worked surprisingly well for me… the fabric can be pretty thin and stretchy, though.
AnonATL says
Depending on the dresscode, Motherhood maternity usually has some cute dresses and good deals. They only have 1 maxidress now that is explicitly nursing. Zulily has some cute nursing dresses now too.
There are also non-nursing dresses that you could nurse in. I think putting me together did a post a while back.
Anon says
I would pick a dress with some sort of cross or wrap-front, maybe something slightly stretchy. I always felt like nursing clothes made me look like a sister wife so I tried to shy away from them. Whenever I nursed in public I used a scarf not to cover up the baby but to sort of cover up my shoulder and make a little wall so that it wasn’t like here’s my whole boob.
Pogo says
I always recommend them on here, but Pinkblush.
I will also note that I often just wore wedding-ish dresses I already owned, took the baby to a secluded location, unzipped and popped out the boob with a muslin swaddle on my lap in case of dribbles. Past a few months my kids will not nurse in the presence of any other humans or animals. Every wedding venue I’ve attended has had such a location – often the bridal suite – with a couch where I could partially disrobe without concern. I just found a staff member, asked for the coordinator, and they hooked me up. I also have contacted the venue ahead of time (in the case where I wanted a place to pump) when I was concerned about coordinating day-of.
Anon says
I would not try using a scarf or nursing cover for first time at an event – practice at home. Some babies hate them
Waffles says
Does anyone have experience homeschooling an around-kindergarten-age child? Without virtual and in-person school, I mean — more like unschooling.
Interested in any thoughts! Thanks.
Anonymous says
Unschooling or homeschooling? These are different things.
The goal of kindergarten used to be to get kids accustomed to the school environment, routines, and behavioral expectations and ready to begin learning in first grade. Now kids are expected to learn these things in pre-K, and K is about reinforcing that discipline and, depending on the school district, getting kids either reading or ready to read. In a one-on-one homeschooling format, it is very easy to teach a willing and engaged child all the necessary material in an hour or less per day. I did not technically homeschool my child, but just for fun I did teach her the entire kindergarten curriculum and then some the year before she started K, all in about half an hour a few evenings a week.
A reading program such as Hooked on Phonics Learn to Read or Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, plus reading aloud from chapter books at bedtime, will get them reading. For writing and fine motor skills, I like the Kumon workbooks. For math, I wasn’t happy with any of the workbooks I found so I taught it myself using manipulatives and free worksheets from dadsworksheets dot com. For manipulatives, I found two-sided counters, base-10 blocks, fraction towers, a teaching clock, and play money most useful. A decent-sized whiteboard that is not mounted on the wall is also helpful.
For science, you can find lots of fun activities in books and on the web. Raising caterpillars is a kindergarten classic. I also like to incorporate some activities that introduce the scientific method. For social studies, read books about history. If your kindergartener is reading independently, the Who Was series is great. Once things open up a bit more, reading a book about a period in history and then visiting a historical site can have a big impact.
Make sure you know and comply with your state’s homeschooling requirements. In my state, parents homeschooling kindergarteners have to declare their intentions by a certain date the summer before the academic year begins, but they do not have to satisfy the requirements for demonstrating adequate progress that exist in the other grades.
It’s also a good idea to enroll your child in some sort of structured group activity to keep them in the habit of listening and following instructions. For kindergarteners, I like pre-ballet at a professional ballet school (not a competition studio) and martial arts. Girl Scouts/Boy Scouts, music and art classes, and day camp also tend to have quite a bit of structure. Sports classes can work but don’t tend to require as much focus unless you are looking at something like preteam gymnastics. Many places that offer classes for kids will have special homeschooling sessions during the day.
Waffles says
This is so helpful! Thank you!!!
CPA Lady says
Okay, so, I am talking out of my rear, but here are my credentials:
– I have a kindergartener who was in online school last semester that I was closely overseeing
– I was homeschooled
– My sister also has a kindergartener she is actually homeschooling and we’ve talked a lot about it
You will do this differently if you are hoping to send the kid to public school at some point. If you are planning to homeschool indefinitely, you can do whatever you want as long as it’s in line with your state guidelines (kindergarten is not mandatory in a lot of states, so guidelines are probably quite loose). I knew that my kid would be going back to public school as soon as she could. So with that, what I would hope my child would know by the end of kindergarten so she’s not behind in 1st grade is:
– how to write all the letters in lower and uppercase and have a grasp of punctuation and the concept that you capitalize certain words but not others.
– how to sound out all the letters and common letter blends like -ing, th-, sh-, ch-
– be able to read CVC words and some other words
– how to count to 100
– addition and subtraction to 10
– the shapes, 2D and 3D
– the coins
– how to sort and categorize and tell whether something is greater than or less than
Common core math is different than the way I learned math. I’m not here to bash it, but it is a different way to go into it, so if your kid is going to go to elementary school at some point, I’d probably look into what exactly it is so your kid is familiar with it. My kid has done a lot this year with number bonds and 10 frames. I don’t remember ever doing math that way, so I’m assuming this is part of the common core structure.
If I could do anything with no worries about the future, I would do this;
– for reading do the “Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons” book – one to one half chapter per school day. This book includes practice writing the letters. This is phonics based, none of this “guess based on the picture” and “rote memorization of sight words when they haven’t even learned the letter sounds” nonsense that they teach in school these days. (yes I have OPINIONS)
– math stuff is easy, you don’t need a workbook or anything necessarily, you just work it into daily life, like asking her to count how many petals there are on a flower, or count out a certain number of stuffed animals or whatever. There are also fun math board games like “sums in space” that my kid loves playing that lets her practice arithmetic. My mom was a math and science teacher and she has these math bingo cards that kiddo loves to play with too. If you’re going to keep homeschooling, you probably will eventually want a workbook or something with more formal structure.
– for science, honestly, there are so many good educational science shows that my kid loves to watch that I would let this be part of her actual education — story bots, mythbusters jr., magic school bus, the cat in the hat knows a lot about that, brain child, blue planet documentaries, etc. Plus going out in nature and talking about different plants and animals and the weather.
– for music and art, listening to different music and talking about it, art just letting her go with paints and markers and chalk and everything. craft kits are a big hit too.
– let her follow her interests — my kid is really into science experiments/baking/cooking so I’d do more of that too. One of the great things about homeschooling and unschooling is that it lets your kid explore.
Waffles says
Thank you, CPA Lady! This is awesome.
avocado says
I am so glad I missed out on Common Core. I stopped working as a tutor before it arrived on the scene, and the state where we now live is one of the few that didn’t adopt it. My kid is headed to calculus in the fall, and I’ve never even heard of number bonds or 10-frames.
Io says
10 frames are AMAZING. It’s 10 squares in two rows of five. It makes so much sense for talking about place value from the beginning. As someone who was a mathematical disaster is school, which prevented me from pursuing a science related degree (even though my great-grandfather, grandfather and brother are all engineers) I love anything that introduces the concepts earlier and in a tactile way.
Anonymous says
Base-10 blocks do this in an intuitive way.
Educator says
Pet peeve from an educator: that isn’t Common Core, that’s just a newer math teaching method (although even some teachers seem to mix this up, furthering the confusion). People mix them up all the time because it became common about around the same time that Common Core came into existence. Common Core deals with learning benchmarks (what you learn), not instructional methods (how you learn). Schools can teach the skills required by Common Core in any way they see fit, although there are many prepackaged curriculums that meet Common Core standards that also teach using this new math style.
FWIW, this style of teaching (provided it’s done well AND the teacher teaching it actually truly understands its underlying principles and buys into it) is typically more successful in teaching numeracy and underlying math skills than older methods, even if they seem nonsensical to those who didn’t grow up with them.
avocado says
Any method that gets at underlying principles will work if implemented well. I had to go back to “old” methods (base-10 blocks, AOPS-style mental math stuff, etc.) a few times with my kid when the “new” methods one of her teachers used didn’t click because they were not explained at all.
I will say, her best math teacher had a very nontraditional style. Instead of lecturing, he set up group activities that led the class through the process of deriving formulas and algorithms. It was amazing, and she grasped the material from that course on a deeper level than she did with any other course. But that was because he was teaching well, not necessarily because he was teaching “new.” Her second-best math teacher was an old-school lecturer who derived everything on the blackboard, and she followed along pretty darn well there too because 1) everything was being derived, not taught by rote and 2) the teacher was doing it well.
Educator says
Right, I completely agree that teaching underlying principles is the important skill here (and the new teaching methods that are in vogue are but one way to do that), but I’m just clarifying that what you refer to as “Common Core” isn’t Common Core at all.
And Common Core actually emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying math principles and mastery of concepts over rote memorization and drilling of process, so it actually sounds like something that’s aligned with what you see as important!
Anonymous says
This is probably an unpopular opinion because I think this case skews pretty academically high-achieving, but kindergarten is optional in my state and if I kept my kid home I would just let them play and learn about topics that interest them, rather than trying to follow a defined curriculum. I would do lots of hands-on learning, like science museums, aquariums and travel (if you’re comfortable with it in the covid era). I agree if the kid hasn’t been in daycare/preschool you need some kind of organized peer activity for socialization.
Anonymous says
I agree that hands-on-learning is great, but I don’t think my kid has ever learned anything at a science museum except maybe during an iMax movie.
Spirograph says
ehhhh I bet they have! My kids constantly amaze me by bringing up stuff they saw once in a museum where I thought for sure they’d just played without anything sticking. Recent examples:
1. Plate tectonics (earthquake table at a play museum near my mom’s house)
2. The right conditions for a fossil (computerized wheel of fortune about this at Smithsonian Natural History )
3. Blood going through your heart and to your lungs and back to your heart again (gigantic walk-through heart in Franklin Institute)
4. Keystone of an arch (any of the myriad places we’ve built those giant foam arches)
Man, I miss science museums.
anon says
agree, we are Charlotte Mason fans for homeschooling (so “no formal lessons before 6”) but I do not think that science museums, aquariums and travel provide any “hands on learning” of the kind that is beneficial for little kids. They are entertaining but too over-stimulating to provide meaningful engagement.
Anon says
That’s too bad. We traveled a ton in before times and my 2 year old learned a lot from travel and visiting museums. I mean, not formal school stuff like phonics obviously, but she was always learning about new subjects and telling us things about those subjects (the T. Rex at the Field Museum launched an interest in dinosaurs, a planetarium visit led to an interest in space and taught her to identify several planets by sight, etc.) She seems like a very average kid, fwiw, and I imagine a typical 5 year old would get a lot more out of traveling and visiting museums and other educational places.
Spirograph says
No snark intended, but I’m curious what you think is “beneficial for little kids” and why broadening their worldview or marveling at nature with travel (even domestic, localish travel); appreciating the diversity of life at a botanical garden, zoo, or aquarium; or hands-on manipulation and guided experimentation that demonstrates Big Ideas in science like magnetism, lift, gravity, etc doesn’t fit the bill?
My kids were 3, 5, and 7 the last time we did much of this. Sure not every outing was a success (yay for free Smithsonian museums — short, low-pressure visits are fine!), but there was absolutely meaningful engagement. I wasn’t interested in homeschooling or unschooling, so didn’t do any of this with a goal of it being a substitute for K, but you seem to be implying that these places are entertainment only and I respectfully, strongly disagree. They’re not going to retain everything the first or second time, but kids are always absorbing info and linking observations to figure out how the world works. I’m a big fan of exposing my kids early and often to all kinds of things to both spur curiosity and indulge it. And, I guess, to brainwash them into my view that the world is big, we are small, and being curious and adventurous is Good.
Anonymous says
I think aquariums, zoos, art museums, planetariums, air and space museums, and travel are all wonderful and educational. I just have never been to a science museum or a children’s museum where the exhibits worked properly, weren’t missing parts, weren’t totally mobbed with other kids pushing my kid out of the way, or actually explained any scientific concept in a meaningful way.
CPA Lady says
I actually think that if you do homeschool your kids, museums and such can be a better experience because you can figure out low traffic times to go, say, Tuesday mornings at 10 a.m. or something like that. That way you can actually interact with the exhibits without it being a swamped disaster. My SAHM sister and best friend have had totally different experiences with zoos and aquariums and such than I have because they can go whenever and don’t have to go on the weekend when it’s completely mobbed.
Anon says
+1 to CPA Lady. I work, but we mostly do museums and such when traveling and often go on weekdays when there aren’t many crowds. If you have to go on a weekend, Sunday right when they open is good because a lot of people are in church on Sunday mornings. We hit the Atlanta aquarium (pre-covid) at 8 am on a Sunday and even though I’d heard a lot of horror stories about crowds, we had a wonderful experience.
Anonymous says
Agree. Early is just as important as weekdays, since you get field trips during normal school years. We tend to avoid the most popular DC museums during tourist season, but they are fine on winter weekends and pretty empty in the mornings.
No Face says
On the socialization front, my library system and YMCA both had programs in the day targeted to homeschoolers.
anon says
for a weird set of reasons, including moving, the pandemic, and really not liking the kindergarten at a school we otherwise love, none of my 3 kids have gone to kindergarten.
By the time my kids have started first grade at school, they’ve all been able to read fluently, add and subtract four digit numbers, do basic division and multiplication in their heads, write in cursive, and do lots of other things.
We try to spend at least one full morning (8a-1p) every week at a woods near our house that is ok with poking, digging, off-trail exploration and limited specimen collection (so they can explore more than at the nature preserve that is strictly stay-on-the-trail, don’t-pick-anything).
I focus a lot on what Montessori calls “practical life” – being able to do all the daily care taking tasks by themselves (getting dressed, fixing a simple breakfast and snack, putting on shoes and jacket, buttoning, braiding, tying shoes, folding clothes, making beds etc.). This leads to lots of questions – “why do we need laundry soap to get our clothes clean?” “why do onions make me cry?”, and if I can’t give a good answer we look it up.
We bake, we do process art, we read a lot, we do lots of memory work (Bible verses, poems, vocabulary in their second language, etc – kids this age have a tremendous capacity for memorization so we take advantage) and then the moment they show interest (usually starting around age 2 or 2 ½), we do short lessons or games in numeracy, pre-reading, and pre-writing practice, moving on to actual math, reading, writing around 4 or 4 ½.
I like the Preschool Math Games book but find it is best for 2-3 year olds, and then Singapore Math for motivated kindergarteners. Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons is good, especially with a Montessori moveable alphabet. I use the Classics for Kids website for music theory/music appreciation and the artist studies from A Humble Place for art history. We skip print and go right to teaching cursive. We have a big world map and a globe, and continent puzzles.
But all of those lessons – math, reading, writing, geography, science, art, language – take me about 40 minutes in the evening or early morning to plan, and then less than an hour, all together, to administer during the day. I think that homeschool kindergarten is very easy, although I wouldn’t necessarily want to (and we don’t) homeschool higher grades.
Waffles says
Thank you! Getting some great ideas.
Anon. says
We have homeschooled our 4-5 yr old pre-schooler since March 2020, and weigh different options regarding them starting kindergarten in the fall: A) in person kindergarten, B) Virtual kindergarten if offered by the local school district, C) Officially homeschooling, supplemented with selected virtual activities
My husband and I both work from home full-time and have been taking shifts (I work 7am-12pm, husband works 1pm-6:30pm, we both work additional hours after 8pm). Between the two of us we’re spending less than 2 hrs a day on “structured” activities like math or writing and virtual classes. At least one hour is outdoor time, which I see as a benefit for parents, too. Screen time is minimal and reserved for times when we have to have calls during our childcare shifts, and then it consists of Khan Academy and other learning games.
With this approach, our child has learned in the past year
a) writing all letters of the alphabet and being able to write down words phonetically
b) can sound out and read most words in both our native language (German) and English (with some help with pronunciation)
c) math up to 2nd grade, using the Singapore Math workbooks. Now, this is because he is very interested and has so much fun with the work books, not because we force him to sit down for hours practicing. Math gets integrated into everything, like baking, measuring things, calendar, clock etc.
d) a variety of science topics: planets & solar system, climate, tectonics & volcanoes, dinosaurs, pirates…
e) hands-on things like cutting, gluing, painting with different pens & brushes etc
f) physical things: riding a bike without training wheels, balancing on tree trunks, jump rope, walking sidewards & backwards, throwing and dribbling a ball, summersaults, and we’re enrolled in a virtual martial arts program
The rest of the time during the day is spent building stuff with legos, marble run, playdoh, stamping, blocks, cars, singing, dancing and listening to music, and reading books – most of these activities he does independently and with only occasional involvement from us.
We may be more disciplined (you may call it “strict”) than others, and realize we have an immense privilege to dedicate that much time and attention to our child. Our main thing is to be really deliberate and choose activities that create learning opportunities.
Pre-pandemic, we had never considered homeschooling as an acceptable alternative since in my state it seems to be preferred by extremely religious groups, or anti-vaxx or similar subcultures. But we’re seriously considering continuing to homeschool if it weren’t for his social development. He has only one weekly Covid-bubble playmate right now, so that is definitely a concern.
Redux says
What do you do with an early rising preschooler?
My kiddo is 4 and the happiest early morning riser you ever met. He jumps out of bed literally singing! Problem is he wakes up a full hour before the rest of the family is ready to wake up– especially my 7 year old who desperately needs that extra hour. We have instituted a stay-in-your-room rule (apart from the bathroom) and told him sixteen ways that he has to be quiet, but nothing is working. He is LOUD (cheerful! but no one cares). Any tips for keeping an early riser from interrupting the later risers’ sleep?
Anonymous says
Screen time? Ipad and headphones in your room with a chair and a cozy blanket? He can have ipad time as long as he wears his headphones and doesn’t wake you up? Could also do this in his room (we don’t allow electronics in kids bedrooms), just put the ipad and headphones in there after he is asleep.
You can load the ipad with semi-education stuff like Daniel Tiger or Sesame Street episodes.
AwayEmily says
Audiobooks? Especially if you put them on a special CD player or phone or whatever that he is ONLY allowed to use in the morning so it seems like a special treat.
Redux says
This is an idea that might work really well for us. The 7 year old gets audiobook time after school (when the 4 year old is still at daycare) so this could be his time. Thanks!
Spirograph says
I’m not sure staying in his room is the best way to keep him quiet. Does he have toys somewhere farther away from where others are sleeping? For example, my kids’ (shared) bedroom is on the 2nd floor, and our family room is in the basement. If kids get up early, they are supposed to go downstairs to play. There are books, blocks, stuffed animals, etc down there. On weekends they’re allowed to watch TV or play a computer game.
Major sympathy, though. My 4 year old is also an early riser, especially now that it’s getting light earlier. 6-7am used to be my workout/quiet time but he’s been coming down by 6:30 these days. He’s adorably cheerful, but that’s supposed to be ME time! If I’m still in bed, he’ll come snuggle (and talk. so much talking) with me until I kick him out, then he’ll go play. But if I’m up and about, he wants to be where the action is instead of playing off by himself.
Redux says
Yes, so much talking! I floated the idea of sending him downstairs, but my husband reasonably worries about him (a) making a giant mess (we do not have a basement– the kids toys are in the living room) and (b) pooping and needing a wipe, leaving him marooned on the toilet calling us when we can’t hear him (LOL!)
Anonymous says
lol @ marooned on the toilet. My son does the same thing. He just stays there in child’s pose on the bathmat, periodically yelling, “MOMMMYYYYYY, I’M DONE POOOOOOPING!” until I show up, no matter how long it takes. He’s not a morning pooper, though. :)
Pogo says
If our kid goes down without us, he will drag his learning tower over to the pantry and help himself to trail mix and fruit snacks for breakfast. He once even polished off a half-bag of sweet potato chips and hid the evidence in the trash!
Redux says
haha, oh yes, this would be my kid, too! Though to be fair, he is awake for an hour and a half before we eat breakfast, so he must be super hungry! Should I leave him a morning snack? Is a 4 year old too young for an in-room dorm fridge?? (kidding)
Anonymous says
Smitten Kitchen actually talks about how she feeds her early bird kid breakfast. I think the recipe was hummingbird muffins?
Pogo says
I think it could be worth leaving a specific set of items to choose from at kid height? But my kid would probably still ignore that and go for what he wants. I will say he is not starving when he wakes up – sometimes he goes right back to what he was playing with before bed the night before and will play for like 30min before even requesting breakfast (like when there was a very important pretend bridge replacement project going on last night/this morning). So if yours isn’t complaining about being hungry I wouldn’t stress.
SC says
We have family friends who leave their kids snacks for breakfast! They have a mini-fridge built into an island where they leave breakfast items like yogurt, cheese, and milk. Then they keep cereal and stuff like breakfast bars or healthy muffins in a drawer, along with some small bowls and spoons. The kids wake up, get their own breakfast, and play on their ipads before the parents and teenagers wake up.
Pogo says
What is the 7 year old’s appetite for earplugs? We have an early rising preschooler who sings to himself in his room, and we just wear earplugs until it’s time for his light to turn green.
Our other kiddo is a baby, so we put extra white noise outside his room (fan) as well as inside (Hatch).
Redux says
I myself have really sensitive ears and hate earplugs, so it had not occurred to me to offer that option for the 7-year old. I did convince her to close her door (she prefers to sleep with it open). Thanks for the idea!
Anonymous says
We close late sleeper’s door in the morning when early riser gets up. Are you trying not to get up with kiddo? We always had a parent get up with kid. Perhaps that parent was catnapping on the couch while kid played, but kid quietly awake by themselves was never successful for us. When kid was older, they learned they couldn’t come wake us up until 6am and they had to play quietly until that time. But I think that was more like 5-6
Anon says
Yah, I think the answer here is a parent gets up with the kid and goes downstairs. My younger son has been waking up and loudly singing the ABCs when he wakes up and disrupting the rest of us…but I can’t really be mad at a 4-year-old for singing in his bed. He’s following “the rules” of staying in his room but many little kids physically can’t just “be quiet”
Redux says
Ugh yes, this is my secret shame that I too want to sleep for the extra hour.
Spirograph says
No shame. Can you go cat nap on the couch? We used to do this; one parent would relocate to the family room couch and kind of be … present to stop any shenanigans and sleep-talk when spoken to. We alternated weekend days.
Friday says
Early rising like 4AM or early rising like 6AM? If it’s 4AM…no advice but best of luck to you. If it’s 6AM, one of the parents (usually DH, let’s be honest here) will get up with him, make coffee, then play Candyland with him. It’s mindless and his little joyful self gets some quality parent time.
Anonanonanon says
Was waiting for someone else to say it first, but I agree. If it’s 6 AM or later I think that’s part of having kids. They get up early, and it stinks. But a kid who is too young to have mastered all aspects of toileting is too young to be expected to quietly entertain themselves alone in the morning. I don’t think there is a solution. Your kid stays in their room and plays loudly, which is great that they’re willing to do, or one of you gets up and takes them downstairs. I’m in the thick of this stage with my youngest, so I am not without sympathy.
Perhaps you can come to an agreement: Whoever gets up early with the kid that day gets a nap or to go out alone to do something later?
It stinks but this, too, shall pass. I think by 5 they should be able to understand they need to play QUIETLY until the hatch light turns green or whatever.
NYCer says
+2. I think the fact that he will even play in his room alone and loudly is pretty amazing. My kids never do that! If you really want him to play quietly so your older daughter can sleep longer, I think the solution is one parent gets up with him and goes downstairs to play.
If it is 4am…I am sorry I have no ideas!
Redux says
Yeah, I mean it’s not obscenely early and there are plenty of parents I know who get up at 5:30 voluntarily, but we are not those parents. Kiddo is absolutely happy to play in his room (which I agree is amazing!) just cannot moderate his volume. I would much rather be awake and resting in my bed listening to him sing than up and downstairs with him, but I figured I would ask this list if there is some middle way.
I have been trying to convince my DH that “part of having kids” is going to bed earlier and getting up earlier, but he just cannot change his personal rhythms even though he has tried– he is an academic and grades or edits late into the night because that is what works best for him. I can get up earlier easier than he can, but I cannot nap (who can during the work day?) and don’t want to commit to doing that always.
Friday says
Could kiddo come play in your room then? I feel like that might be an ok compromise. We tried screen time with our early (6AM) riser but then he turns into a monster for the rest of the day. Maybe yours wouldn’t though? I wish I had an easy solution for you.
Anon says
Why is it so hard to find maternity clothing that isn’t bodycon and isn’t made out of clingy jersey? Before pregnancy I was a size 10-12 with big hips so for work I typically wore more structured sheath dresses that didn’t accentuate my bottom half. But now I’m entering my third trimester and going into the office more often post-covid and would prefer not to look like I’m going to a sexy pajama party. Does anyone have favorite items of maternity clothing that can look legitimately professional on someone without the perfect pre-pregnancy body?
Anonanonanon says
Seraphine and isabella oliver were the only brands I could find office-appropriate dresses from when I was pregnant. I’m a pear, so those bodycon dresses did NOT do favours!
Anonymous says
I basically always wore LOFT maternity dress pants and a flowy top to work in the 3rd trimester.
Anonymous says
Second LOFT. They had the only clothes that I thought were semi work appropriate.
Anon says
Target has some good (not-tight) stuff right now (leans a little cottagecore, but doesn’t everything right now). I also had luck with H+M and sometimes Old Navy but it’s lots of sorting through 100 bad things for 1 good work thing. I (cusp sized apple who DOES NOT do body con) feel your pain.
anonamama says
I had this same issue!!! +1 to Seraphine. I found their sizing pretty generous – I was a 12 and could wear some Medium and Large items. Also, I saw Motherhood Maternity has a rental program now – I think they carry Isabella Oliver.
GCA says
Ages ago I had some nicer maternity dresses from Loft and Loyal Hana that I wore to a conference at that stage of pregnancy. They were fluttery polyester rather than clingy jersey. Not cheap, but they had decent resale or reuse value and the Loyal Hana ones had side zips for nursing/ pumping.
TheElms says
OfMercer has some office appropriate dresses that fit this description, but they are a little spendy. I’m a similar body shape to you (and only 5’3″) and had the best luck with a faux wrap black jersey dress from the Gap. I wore a nursing tank under the top which helped smooth out some lumps. And the fact that it was solid black helped. Sometimes I wore a cardigan or open jacket on top too. I wore it twice a week at the end. I had a 9 lb baby and worked until I delivered so I was beyond enormous. It was either this one or something very similar.
https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=181407012&rrec=true&mlink=5050,12413545,PDP_gapproduct1_rr_1&clink=12413545#pdp-page-content
Anon says
I used Le Tote at the very end of my pregnancy to get new maternity clothes that fit and we’re season appropriate. You might see what they offer.
Anon says
I mostly wore floaty tops from motherhood, pea in the pod, or the gap. I also had luck with sizing up a couple sizes in brands that run boxy – I was probably an 6-8 pp and would wear L or XL shirts from Gap and Loft. Then I’d wear an MMLF jardigan over top.
Pogo says
I wore flowy tops, black skinny pants, and a blazer. I also always wore a blazer over any bodycon maternity stuff which helped.
Anonymous says
I felt too voluptuous in anything with a wrap or v-neckline, bodycon or not. I wore a lot of crewneck maternity tees under non-maternity jackets.
Blueberries says
I loved the maternity shop Mom’s the Word for work clothes. They have stores in the Bay Area, but they also have an online presence. I found their shop assistants brilliant at identifying what would look professional and good on my pregnant body (which was somewhat different than my pre-pregnancy style).
Anon says
Moms, an epiphany.
My husband just found out he’ll be out of town for a week during a trial in July. I spent about 90 minutes trying to think through how I’d be able to coordinate drop-offs and pick-ups at summer camp / daycare, get all of the meals ready, and do all clean-up and laundry as a solo parent for 7 – 10 days.
But then I realized …. I have almost 7 weeks of accrued and unused vacation. I can take off from work while he’s out of town and spend an entire week doing NOTHING work related during the day while the kids are at school. Just the thought of an entire week of quiet days in my house is making me giddy – long bike rides, playing the garden, and reading books on my deck – I’m an introvert and I’m about to be (figuratively) bald from pulling my hair out all year. July can’t come fast enough!
Happy Friday!
Anonymous says
That’s awesome! I am cautiously optimistic I will be able to spend my accrued vacation actually vacationing this year, but I took some vacation time over the holidays even though we weren’t going anywhere and it was really nice and made that time much less stressful.
Cb says
That sounds amazing! I took 3 days off when nursery reopened here – went for a long bike ride, zoom called with my mom, read books, got my seeds planted.
Anonymous says
That sounds amazing! But how on earth did you manage to accrue 7 weeks’ vacation? I always burn through my PTO dealing with illnesses and random kid things. Thanks to WFH/learn-from-home and zero illnesses, 2020 was the first year I’ve ever managed to roll any over.
Anonymous says
Not OP but I have sick leave I can use for illnesses and personal days I can use for random school closures, so I pretty much only use vacation time on actual vacations.
EDAnon says
I work in government and get 4 weeks vacation (plus other types of leave), so it’s not hard to come by 7 weeks.
Anon says
Same, government employee and I get 5 weeks of vacation per year. In normal times I use it all and never accrue any, but I think I have about 4 weeks accrued right now.
anon says
Yep, after not traveling in 2020 I currently have 6.5 accrued and will get another 3 by the end of the year. I can only roll over 6 weeks, though, so I definitely need to use some this year.
EDAnon says
They eliminated our ability to get to five which is a huge disappointment to me. But apparently not everyone uses their time like I do.
Pogo says
That’s amazing! Do it!
Boston Legal Eagle says
I love spending my PTO on days like this – when the kids are in daycare and I can both catch up on home tasks, and also just lounge around and binge TV and books, with time spent taking a leisurely walk. In a lot of ways, it’s way more relaxing than actual vacation because vacationing with little kids is still work.
Pogo says
amen. I did this for one blissful week of disability before my second baby made his appearance and it was heaven.
Anonymous says
Did anyone else try that quiz someone posted on here a few months ago that showed you how much housework you do compared to your partner? It looks like they’ve made another one that’s about parenting and includes mental load (!) – has anyone tried it yet? Mine looks pretty accurate and I can finally show my husband what I’ve been trying to explain for years now – because I do pretty much all of it. It’s here – quiz.thirdshift.co.uk/equal-parent – if anyone else is interested?
Cb says
Just finished it but I can’t figure out the weighting? I feel like we’re 55 / 45 but this is suggesting something really different. I think he does way more housework though.
I am taking part in a research study on pandemic parenting and my husband messaged me after his interview to say “It gave me a lot to think about and consider about myself…” Curious to get home and see what he is thinking.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I had a really interesting discussion with my husband where lots of the parenting stuff it asked about was stuff he admitted (a bit sheepishly) he literally never even thinks about. Was a super eye-opening conversation – and it makes sense I guess, cause I always just do it, and probably don’t talk about a lot of it. Like checking the supplies of baby medicines and restocking them. Basic stuff. But I think the parenting stuff is separate to the housework – that quiz I got like an hours breakdown of the work I do, which seemed about right? It looks like this one isn’t giving a time total, more a “coverage of the area” total or something?
Anokha says
Fascinating. I just took it, and it suggests a 70/30 split, which I think is about right. (He does more housework than I do — but the mental load is totally on me.) What I couldn’t figure out were the questions about how “rewarding” I found certain activities. I find none of it rewarding?
Anon says
Did anyone else try that quiz someone posted on here a few months ago that showed you how much housework you do compared to your partner? It looks like they’ve made another one that’s about parenting and includes mental load (!) – has anyone tried it yet? Mine looks pretty accurate and I can finally show my husband what I’ve been trying to explain for years now – because I do pretty much all of it. It’s here:
quiz.thirdshift.co.uk/equal-parent
Hanging kids artwork? says
Does anyone have any recommendations on where to find kids artwork display solutions that is not the river store? (I don’t trust the river store). I like the “clothesline” style displays but am open to other suggestions. My kids have been bringing home a lot of great pieces lately and I’d like to put some up in our playroom (aka the basement).
Anonymous says
Amazon. You can just call it Amazon.
Anonymous says
This, omg I can’t with “the river store”
Anonanonanon says
Genuinely curious about why it bothers people so much? I don’t use it but I cant imagine having the energy to care if someone else does?
Anonymous says
I dunno, we all have pet peeves? It’s one of mine. I made a comment about it on a webs1te that took me 5 seconds, it’s not like I’m taking hours out of my life to protest about it or something.
Anonanonanon says
Fair enough. I think I wasn’t as active as usual on here when it started so I wasn’t sure if I had missed anything.
Anon Lawyer says
I think at one point the word “Amazon” got comments sent to moderation so the “river store” was adopted to avoid that.
Pogo says
It started because I think at one point using Amazon put you in mod.
Anonymous says
People always say that, but I don’t think it actually did.
Anonymous says
PB Kids has some pricey ones. Looks like Etsy has some as well.
AwayEmily says
We just tape them to the wall. If I’m feeling extra fancy I use washi tape.
anonymommy says
Love mine from Articulate Gallery. I think it’s made in the US. https://www.thegrommet.com/products/articulate-gallery-9×12-triple-gallery?pmodal=3&gclid=Cj0KCQiAv6yCBhCLARIsABqJTjYR9_N-k7Yr94Un_8uNONEum9eYnoCsH9XHR8hgSCuVJR2hGwbgGe8aAqzOEALw_wcB
AnonATL says
I think Ikea has one of those clothesline displays. Usually in the kids section they also have frames and the like specifically for crafts
Anonymous says
We have one from IKEA and it’s lovely. Oldest kid just asked for her own one for her room
Anon says
Is there anyone here that works part time or stays home with 3 or more kids? I have two kids, ages 3 and 1 and I see so many of my friends having a third with this same spacing. Id love a large family but I feel utterly and completely overwhelmed with two. I don’t understand how some people seem so relaxed, but I feel like these ages are so grueling physically with keeping my 1 year old safe and emotionally with my 3 year old tantrums etc. It feels like both my husband and I never get a break. I was thinking that maybe it would feel easier if you had a village with a nanny or daycare to help raise the kids but I just don’t know how these parents ever feel rested or caught up once you get beyond 2 kids
Anonymous says
You don’t have to have a large family
Anonymous says
Having nanny or daycare and no full time job is obviously the easiest. I’m not convinced staying home full time (even with 3 kids) is harder than working (with daycare or a nanny) and having the same number of kids.
Mary Moo Cow says
Same. It’s one reason we don’t have 3 although, the heart wants what the heart wants, so… feelings. I have a friend who is never rested and always late with 3. The only families I know well with 3 have moms who work part-time and have school-age kids and/or babysitters, nannies, or family nearby.
Anonymous says
If you had 3 with this spacing (ages 5, 3, and 1) in normal times, one would be in K, the second would be in at least part-time preschool, and only the third would be home with you full-time.
Anon says
I’ll bite. DH and I both work full time. Kids are 6, 4.5 and about to turn 2 (so at one point they were 4, 2 and newborn). We have a nanny so all of our drop off/pick up energy and logistics are concentrated on getting older ones to school and activities. We try to do carpools whenever possible. And honestly Covid has made both our jobs way more flexible so the last years been kind of great. We do have thirty minutes a day where we have two paid childcare helpers because the kids get out of school at the same time at different schools.
I spend a lot of time hiring part-time afternoon babysitters and things like that. But overall I haven’t found 3 that much harder than 2. You just kind of figure it out? We’re pretty relaxed people though – especially me.
Same poster says
I realized I’d add two things. One is that I am WAY less picky about things like babysitters and temporary childcare arrangements than my friends with more time to spend on this or less kids. We just can’t afford to be picky. I’m currently trying to hire someone for two months for 25 hours a week. If I find someone whose schedule works and who has good references, we’ll probably hire them. I do not understand my friends who interview 32 people and get to 9 good candidates and have trial periods. Who has time for that?
Also, no I don’t ever get a break. But I get to switch up which kid I’m focused on. Taking the six year old to a swim lesson feels like a break from toddler right now. Even when they were 0, 2, and 4, they have different moments where one is harder than the other and they have such different personalities. I consider parenting one kid alone to be a break now – and that’s been true for a couple years haha.
We’re pregnant with our fourth so clearly we think we can handle it for a couple more years!
GCA says
DH is one of six siblings, all spaced 2ish years apart. At some point they start entertaining each other and then you have ‘only’ a baby or toddler to take care of while the others destroy the house, lol. Also, ILs were much younger when they started having kids; by the time they were our age (mid-30s), they had 4. They leaned on neighbors, church community, grandparents. MIL stayed home for about two decades then went back to grad school & work.
Also, ages 1 and 3 are tough. You’re in the thick of it. When they’re 3 and 5 you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, when they’re 7 and 9 they practicallyself-entertain!
Anon says
For me the answer is staying home. I have a 5 and 3 and am due any day with my third (so not quite caring for three yet) and, to be honest, things were running so smoothly with my older two that it was kind of…boring? Even in a pandemic year. I’m looking forward to the excitement and chaos of a new baby. (And honestly in my heart I’m already planning for a fourth.)
Plus, 3 and 1 are hard ages – I wasn’t ready for a third then, either! In another year you might feel more settled. Working full time definitely would make it more complicated, too; having a parent more or less dedicated to the kids during the workweek makes a huge difference
Pogo says
not to totally threadjack but thank you to everyone saying how hard ages 1 and 3 is. I am hopeful we can add a 3rd in a post-COVID world, and while I feel overwhelmed now I try to remember this is a short phase in the end.
It is also feeling more and more sustainable with almost full time childcare coming back. Truly FT care I think would make it doable!
Anon. says
Amen. 1 and 3 here. Thank God for full time childcare because by Sunday evening my husband and I pretty much crash out on the couch in exhaustion. It is hard.
DLC says
I have three (9, 4, and 1) and I work seasonally — or actually during COVID, not at all because my industry is basically shut down (the performing arts). I definitely do not feel rested or relaxed or balanced or caught up. Actually I felt more rested and balanced when I was working 50-60 hours a week than I do right now when I’m home full time with no childcare help. When I was working and the kids were in school/ daycare, I could do some level of life admin during work hours and I felt more in control of my time – I could time block and knock out my to do list . I know this is a function of COVID and being at home, but there is very little structure to our days right now… it’s just a slog from one meal to the next and one zoom class to the next.
Off the top of my head, things that help:
– very involved supportive spouse who will watch all three kids two nights a week and for large chunks of the weekend so I can shut myself in the bedroom with a book and cup of tea (or just have a minute to pay the bills and schedule appointments) . I would much rather have three kids every other night and have every other night off, than have us both share all the duties every night.
-biweekly housecleaning
-low sleep needs. I often stay up well past midnight so that I can work on my to do list.
-older children who are self sufficient- they can feed themselves, they can entertain themselves, they can (usually) go to the bathroom by themselves. My husband has said that if one wants three kids, it’s best to have a big gap somewhere so that the older ones are a little independant. I think the two year spacing really taxes your mental, emotional, and physical resources even when you do have help. My hat’s off to families who manage that. On the other hand, you emerge to the other side sooner and can get out of the baby/toddler phase. (Though I have to say, I’m finding the nine year old super challenging emotionally and mentally, so that’s a whole other thing. I would much rather deal with newborn sleepless nights than a rebellious nine year old)
Anonymous says
Give it time. Those are tough ages. Don’t make any permanent decisions now and reassess when they are 3 and 5.
I have 3 and it’s a game changer. Way harder to have one on one time with each kid. And we travel a lot so the logistics are more complicated now for that (eg plane seating)
Anon says
Someone close to me has three rambunctious kids, and I think the stress may have ruined her marriage.
Walnut says
Ours are 5, 3.5, and 2 right now and we both work full time. Our saving grace is daycare with generous hours and our neighborhood teen babysitters who come by for 2-3 hours on Sunday afternoon when my husband and I are ready to pull our hair out.
That said, every day gets a bit easier than the one before and when they all play together it is pure delight.
Agreed with the others that 1 and 3 are tough ages. We plunged right into a third because I wanted to wrap up the maternity/postpartum phase of life.
Anonymous says
Way late to this so I may flag it for you tomorrow. Mine are almost 3, almost 5, and 7 and will be in PK3, K and 2nd next year.
When I was 6 months pregnant with #2, I was laid off. I got a full year severance and collected unemployment. I used that time to build out a consulting practice (and also have a baby/maternity leave!). Since that time 5 years ago I’ve worked an average of 15 hours/week with some weeks being really high and others much lighter. I was laid off from a job where I worked 50-60 hours/week for $170k (inc bonus) and for the past 4 years I’ve made about 100k/year consulting. After paying all the extra taxes and factoring in the loss of some benefits (but also strategic use of others, and tax credits), I find I do about 25% of the work I used to for 40% of the pay.
If I’d stayed on my old career track, I’d be making $240 or so, but working those same 50-60 hours/week.
DH was making $120k 7 years ago but over time he has moved up and is now making $230k for a job he can do in 35-40 hours/week.
We decided our goal would be to maintain a HHI of roughly $300k to support the lifestyle we want. We could make it work on $250, which either of us could make with a job switch if we had to, but $300k gives us the ability to save for college, pay for childcare, go on vacation and drive nice cars.
Sometimes I get bored consulting and playing soccer mom. I have gone through the interview process for a new FT role a few times and I think if I found the right fit I’d take it, but it would mean a lot of changes for our family. DH can’t pivot to consulting as easily so he’d probably be home more FT and take on house projects/a side hustle.
Anonymous says
We’re thinking of taking a long weekend somewhere in the next month or two, with our two-year-old. Probably would want to rent an AirBnB. Any suggestions? We’re coming from DC, looking for something within a 4-hour drive.
Mary Moo Cow says
Plug for Richmond, VA! It has a river with parks systems, kid-friendly art museum, wonderful botanical gardens, Children’s museum, shopping districts, and good eating. 3 days would be plenty to explore the city. You could *possibly* take the train down and make it an adventure.
Otherwise, Chincoteague? I haven’t been but have heard good things.
Anonymous says
That doesn’t sound like a very COVID-friendly getaway.
anon says
COVID cops going strong already this am
Anon says
Yeah I’m getting exhausted with it. We get it. It’s a GLOBAL PANDEMIC!!!!!!!! Nobody who is posting here is unaware of that fact. I’m pretty sure nobody on earth is unaware of that fact.
Anonymous says
I live in Richmond. We are doing comparatively well right now in terms of community spread, despite the fact that our governor apparently forgot that he went to medical school and allowed gyms and restaurants to reopen. Please do not come here and wreck things for us.
Anon says
What a weird take. If you’re doing well, it’s because your government is good at testing and contact tracing and/or your citizens are good at wearing masks and following social distancing rules. In spring 2020, someone could introduce the virus to a place where it didn’t exist via travel, but that’s no longer the case since the virus is everywhere. People traveling to your city are not going to “wreck” things for you if your area is doing a decent job controlling community spread.
RVA anon says
Our state and local governments are doing an abominable job of contact tracing. The state health department was quoted in the media telling people with the virus to notify their own contacts. Any improvement we’ve had is the result of people’s individual decisions to stay home, the fact that most school divisions are only just beginning to bring kids back into the classroom, the fact that many churches have severely limited in-person worship, etc.
People who travel to visit to the children’s museum and eat in restaurants are definitely going to cause issues, because that increases the number of people doing these things and spreading the virus. If you want to come here, stay in an Air BnB, order curbside takeout, and walk around outdoors, welcome to our amazing little city.
Anonymous says
We’re going to the Eastern Shore this weekend — it’s still early enough in the season that there were plenty of AirBnBs when we were looking to book.
I’m not sure when Dutch Wonderland opens, but it’s perfect for a 2 year old, and there are lovely farmhouse-type places to stay nearby (and all over PA for that matter), but I’m not sure what PA’s current travel restrictions are.
Anon says
Charlottesville. Lots of outdoor eating options, plenty of family friendly breweries and wineries which to a kid are just large parks, at that age DD loved just running up and down the downtown “mall” (think like a pedestrian-only plaza with shops and restaurants) or the lawn at UVA. If you all are history buffs, you could tour monticello or montpelier and keep kid in a carrier (lots of outdoor space to run).
I would also second the Richmond recommendation below (grew up there); lots of good food with curbside options (not sure on the outdoor seating, we usually eat at home with my parents), Maymont, river walk, Lewis Ginter botanical gardens.
You could also do a long weekend at one of the Delaware beaches. It will be off-season, so not super crowded, and probably too chilly to go in the water, but I could easily spend a long weekend building sandcastles and filling buckets and walking on the beach.
Anonymous says
+1 for Charlottesville. We did this a couple weeks ago and the weather was terrible, but I could see that the cute little walkable downtown and outdoor cafes would be fun sometime when there wasn’t an ice storm the day before.
We went to Monticello (you need reservations, don’t be like us: reserve far enough in advance to get a time that works with your kid’s schedule), looked at the students’ work in the UVA art building, and were sad that the weather was completely wrong for brewery park. The one we saw had a playground and everything, it looked amazing.
anon says
+2 We went to Charlottesville from DC when our kids were a little younger than 2 and had a great long weekend. Monticello is fine for toddlers (you can stay outside for covid reasons) and we also did a lot of hiking or outside breweries/wineries, all of which are covid-safe.
Anonymous says
There is a great stroller-friendly hiking path that starts at the Monticello parking lot.
Anonymous says
Any suggestions for a gift (or just the best way to approach this) to give to a co worker who is a first time mom coming back to work after maternity leave? I want to show support and basically say “if you need to talk to some one, I’m around.”
Background – this person is what I would call a “close work acquaintance”. We talk at work and are generally friendly, but don’t hang out outside of work. We’re also in different practice groups, but our offices are pretty close to each other on our floor. We work in the satellite office of a big law firm. She has a baby who doesn’t sleep, and recently while trying to set up a “moms zoom hang out” for the six of us at the office who are young moms (kids three and under) in our office, she said to me she’s really freaking out about coming back, her baby isn’t sleeping. She works for one of the tough partners in our office.
We are all still working from home. When I came back from maternity leave at the end of 2019, I was in the office and had people dropping by my first few days back to say hi, say they were happy to have me back, and ask for baby pictures and generally express support. I want to do the same thing for this co worker, but also not go overboard. So I feel like flowers are too much? But she lives like 45 minutes away from me so it’s not like I could just drop something at her house. Thoughts appreciated!! Thank you!
Anonymous says
Send her a snarky coffee mug and keep the moms’ zoom hangout going.
Waffles says
Seconded! Except in my case, I would do a moms’ group text because I like writing.
Pogo says
+1 just a coffee mug is enough to know that you’re thinking of her!
anonymommy says
If it’s her first, ask her for a pic of the baby! It made me so happy when people recognized this big, life-changing thing I was experiencing instead of pretending I just mysteriously left for three months.
Jeffiner says
I volunteer with an organization in my county that develops a non-partisan voter’s guide for municipal elections. We have school board elections in May, and we’re working on questionnaires for all of the candidates. What questions would you want asked? We’re thinking of asking things along the lines of: 1. How should technology and virtual learning be utilized post-pandemic? 2. How should the Board address disparities in access to technology and resources for disadvantaged students? (or maybe something about school budgets since they had to invest in technology for 2020), and 3. Something about the impact of this year on our students, and what policies can be enacted in the 2021-22 school year to offset those impacts. Any other suggestions? This is a large, urban school district in a large city, and since last fall parents have had the option of in-person or virtual. There are also several suburban school districts whose Boards are up for election, but most enact similar policies to the urban one.
Anonymous says
I think the right questions to ask depend heavily on the specific local issues related to the pandemic and the district’s response. Your questions are good but rather general. Can you incorporate some local specifics? E.g., on question 1, in my district I’d want candidates asked if they favor continuing to let teachers administer tests and quizzes via the on-line learning platform instead of on paper, and why.
Anon says
In my school district, the key questions are what are your plans for increasing in person learning in the fall (2 day a week hybrid currently) and increasing in-person instruction for kids that are in the building (vs. being supervised by a classroom monitor while the teacher continues to instruct remotely so they are still screen learning, just together! in a school building! *roll eyes* I mean it solves the child care issue but not the learning issue). Or “why do you think spending hours renaming schools is more important than a plan to get our children back in those schools”. But I’m probably just overly salty right now about what a disaster this has been.
anonymommy says
I’d want to know something about how they intend to support teachers/staff, and work with the unions.
Redux says
I would want to know what the candidates think about school resource officers (i.e., police officers in schools), particularly if you have issues of disparity in school discipline. Embedded in your #3, I would want to hear a response that acknowledged the trauma suffered by kids and the commitment to providing mental health resources to youth. And practically speaking these candidates are likely going to work more with budgets than with policy (though arguably a budget is a representation of an insitution’s policy priorities) so I would want to know what their experience is with budgets generally, and specifically how they would balance competing budgetary interests.
Anonymous says
+1 million on school resource officers.
Anonanonanon says
-Are you allowed to ask if they have children and if their children attended public school? That matters to me.
-Their opinion on whether schools are and/or should be the primary source of childcare and access to social services in a community, and if/how that should change given what we’ve seen and learned in the past year
-I would imagine budgets have been decimated by technology, cleaning, and PPE costs. I would want to know a lot about what recovery looks like to them, and budget experience
Anon says
Your #1 seems illegal or at least inappropriate to ask? In my city at least everyone volunteers it though, and if they don’t mention kids in the public schools it means they don’t have any.
Anonanonanon says
Yea my gut said not allowed but I wasn’t sure. I feel like I usually know that info about candidates but, as you mentioned, they usually volunteer it. I know it’s illegal in a job interview but figured for an elected position it might be OK?
Anonanonanon says
And I’d like to clarify that someone not having kids doesn’t matter to me, but if someone has school-aged or recently school-aged children they sent to private school, it does.
Anonymous says
Yeah, we had a childless woman run (and win) this fall and she talked a lot about how she didn’t have kids but was a proud product of public schools and cared about the success of the public schools as a community member. I agree I would find a person who has kids but opted out of public school kind of off-putting (although in the Covid era I would assume the opting out was temporary).
Jeffiner says
Interesting. A few years ago (before I made voter’s guides) we had two candidates running, and one had kids in public schools and the other had kids in private schools. It was a pretty big deal. The one with public school kids won, and although there were lots of issues in the race, that was a big one.
Anonymous says
It’s an election, not a job interview.
Io says
It’s a big deal though in some places. The gutting of Nassau County’s public schools by those who send their kid’s to religious schools has been devastating in upstate NY.
Redux says
Nassau county is not upstate?
Anonymous says
How is it illegal to ask questions of election candidates?
Anon says
I live in an area that has gotten a fair amount of smoke each year from wildfires, so I’d want to know: what should the schools do to handle our increasing number of smoky days?
In my school district, the answer seems to be: pretend ventilation is too complicated to ask questions about at board meetings and try to improve. Let kids and teachers breathe unhealthy air.
If smoke isn’t an issue where you are, there could still be health/safety/accessibility issues that climate change is newly presenting and votes might appreciate hearing candidates’ approach.
Anonymous says
Ventilation is an issue everywhere now, thanks to COVID.
govtattymom says
Can anyone point me to the recent discussion regarding hands-free breast pumps? I would really appreciate it! Thanks so much!
Anon says
Was anyone on here diagnosed with gestational hypertension and can kind of tell me anecdotally how the rest of their pregnancy went? I got diagnosed and put on medication at 34 weeks. Blood pressure currently is borderline, but my OBGYN wanted it to go back to normal to prevent it from getting up to a “high” level. So far, the medication appears to be working (and helping with some anxiety I was having as well). OB said she will probably want to induce at 37-39 weeks depending on how well-controlled by blood pressure is with medication. Just kind of wondering if anyone had a similar experience and what the outcome was– I feel like I have heard about people developing preeclampsia but not anyone with just run-of-the-mill high blood pressure. (I am going to ask the OB more questions at my next visit, but was too upset to ask her much at my last visit due to some anxiety I was having.)
Amama says
Yes – I was diagnosed with gestational hypertension at 38 weeks. I never had to go on meds – just had to take it easy and watch for symptoms. They also had me check my BP at home regularly. My OB ended up bringing me in about every other day for labs and non-stress tests. Since those looked good, they let me go to 40 +2 and scheduled an induction. Luckily baby decided to arrive prior to the induction and is now a healthy 3 year old and I did not have hypertension with my second. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Happened to a good friend. She went on meds sometime in her third tri and I recall she basically lived at her doctor’s office for the last few weeks of pregnancy. It sounded manageable but stressful. And she did deliver after induction at 38 or 39 weeks. She and kiddo were both completely fine.
NYCer says
With my second pregnancy, from about 30 weeks on, my blood pressure was a bit variable, but I never had to take meds (and it also never developed into preeclampsia). I monitored my blood pressure at home every day in the morning and at night, and was supposed to call the doc if it was ever higher than 140/90 (it never was). I ended up delivering at just over 37 weeks, because I had severe vomiting and the doctor was worried it could be preeclampsia related (personally, I think I just had the stomach flu, but better to be safe). Baby was breech, so I had a c-section.
I did not have any blood pressure issues with my first pregnancy, and also have normal blood pressure now (and in between pregnancies).
Scilady says
This was me with both my pregnancies – I started having high blood pressure approximately 1 month before my due date. The doctors were watching it at appointments, and checking my blood to ensure I didn’t develop preeclampsia. I was also checking my blood pressure daily at home. I didn’t end up on any medication, but was induced early for both babies: 39 +1 for baby 1 and 38+4 for baby 2. I was pretty upset about the induction for both babies, but on the other side all is well! I wanted an unmedicated hospital birth and was able to keep that after being induced. If you want to discuss more I can share a email.
Katala says
I had pre-e with my first starting at around the same time (I believe I hit 34 weeks while admitted in the hospital and the high risk docs wanted to deliver NOW). Eventually they let me go home on modified bed rest and monitor my BP. Also did non-stress tests twice a week. Induced at 37 weeks.
Got a high BP reading with my second at 35ish weeks. Admitted for a few hours for monitoring, then sent home to rest and check BP. Did not progress to pre-e and BP didn’t go much higher. Induced at 37 weeks again due to the previous pre-e and the fact that my first was over 8 lbs at 37 weeks. #2 was nearly 8 lbs, both perfectly healthy. I was never put on any meds after leaving the hospital but just told to rest and monitor.
I’m 25 weeks with #3 and am working on keeping my blood volume up to avoid BP issues this time. I’m pretty sure my current OB would push meds which I prefer to avoid. You can check out Brewer Diet for a take on the cause of high BP in pregnancy and how to address with diet. So far, so good for me but it’s early.
CCLA says
I think there were some new guidelines that came out a few years ago (they were recent when I had my second in 2018), recommending induction in more cases relating to hypertension. I had two high BP readings, the second of which was right at 37 weeks, and that was enough (zero other symptoms, diagnosis was hypertension and not pre-e) that they actually suggested to induce me right then because of the two separate high readings. I talked it through with the doc and decided to wait just a few days so I could fly in help for toddler since while the diagnosis was gestational hypertension, I had barely qualified and it wasn’t super intense. In those intervening days checking BP twice daily at home and keeping an eye out for pre-e symptoms, then had a smooth induction a few days later (which I wanted anyway so that worked out). All that to say be prepared for them to recommend early induction even if there isn’t pre-e.
Anonymous says
My blood pressure was borderline high throughout my first pregnancy, although I was never diagnosed and never put on medicine. I had a lot of extra monitoring towards the end. I had an induction scheduled for 39 weeks 3 days, but went into labor on my own two days prior. I did have a good amount of swelling, but it was summer in Texas. I was under a lot of stress, which I think was a factor for me.
I had normal blood pressure throughout my second and third pregnancies, and also between pregnancies. I had not realized how concerned my ob was until my second and third pregnancies, where I also had some factors leading to extra monitoring (baby measuring large, which ended up not being entirely accurate, and AMA).
Vaccine Experience says
Any anecdotal evidence whether your reaction to the 1st vaccine will be indicative of your reaction to the 2nd? Had my first yesterday (Pfizer) and I am just wiped today – headache, exhausted, difficulty focusing and general just blah feeling. The arm soreness is fine (frankly better than my flu shot) but the rest of it, oh man. Makes me think I will need to make arrangements to take off for the day after my second shot (which will not be great timing with work obligations) if it’s going to be exponentially worse. DH had a bit of tiredness and headache yesterday and overnight but is feeling fine today, so it seems to be just me (historically I have a stronger immune system than he does so I would have expected my reaction to be stronger than his).
Anon says
I had Moderna last week and my reaction has been much more intense than I expected. I never ran a fever, but I had a ridiculously sore arm (much worse than a flu shot) for several days and then about a week after the shot developed a lot of pain and tenderness in my underarm and groin lymph nodes. It finally seems to be better today but for a couple days it was so bad I had trouble sleeping. I’ve also had a really killer headache on and off for a week. I’m prone to headaches so don’t know how much that one can be attributed to the vaccine, but this one does seem to be unusually non-responsive to Tylenol (I’m lucky that usually Tylenol helps me a lot, even for migraines). I’m terrified of the second shot, and definitely expect to take at least one day off afterwards. My DH had no reaction.
Anon says
Oh and I’m 99% certain I never had the virus. DH and I WFH and have been incredibly cautious, no close contact was ever ill and I haven’t had any illness since March 2020. I guess it’s theoretically possible I got it at the grocery store and was asymptomatic and no one else in my family got infected, but that seems extremely unlikely to me.
Anonymous says
It’s possible though for sure. In my town they caught an outbreak at the high school because a few teens came in for testing after an outbreak at a restaurant. Like 50 kids were infected with UK variant and they were all asymptomatic. They’d been spreading it at team sport practices despite distancing being in place.
Anon says
It’s much, much more common for teens to be asymptomatic than 40 year olds. Also those people might have been pre-symptomatic. You know they had no symptoms when they tested positive but you don’t know that they never developed any symptoms. Based on widespread surveillance testing and monitoring my university employer is doing only, ~20% of college students who test positive never develop any symptoms and the number drops rapidly for older people.
Redux says
Did you have the virus? I understand that people who have had the virus have a much stronger reaction to the vaccine on account of the number of antibodies you body has already produced as a natural response to fighting the virus in the first instance.
OP says
Not that I am aware of, and we have been exceedingly careful because DH and I are both high risk. I haven’t even been in a grocery (or any other) store since before COVID, we’re WFH and kiddo has been home with us for a year (which sounds so much worse when I say it out loud).
Anonymous says
Any chance you had it and didn’t know? People who previously had covid supposedly have a stronger reaction to the first dose (and arguably might not need the second dose but definitively get it anyway). I’d book the day after off. Worst case you need it, best case you have a day off to relax and celebrate being vaxxed.
Anon says
My husband had no reaction to the first (Moderna) and a strong reaction to the second (fever, chills, headache).
EDAnon says
I got the J&J so not the same, but I had a pretty bad reaction. I am 36. I ran fever (about 101.5), severe muscle aches, and fatigue. I was only truly down and out for less than 24 hours (though a bit run down the next day). I wondered if it meant anything about how my experience with the virus would have been.
I am not sure I never had it but I would be absolutely stunned if I did. We were really locked down, got tested due to symptoms, access needs at work, and before visiting my parents (all negative), and I gave blood pretty late last year (and it showed no antibodies). Due to the vaccine, I will never know for sure.
Anonymous says
I got J&J and would also be very surprised if I’d had COVID. I had 48 hours of 102-degree fever, the worst headache I’ve ever experienced, and nausea. If that’s just the vaccine reaction, I never want to have the actual virus.
Anon says
“If that’s just the vaccine reaction, I never want to have the actual virus.”
I don’t want the virus either, but you’re misunderstanding how this works. Bad side effects from the vaccine means you likely have a stronger immune system which would translate to a better response to the virus if you were exposed. Statistically vaccine side effects are much more common in younger people, who generally fare much better if they actually get infected. It’s not like the vaccine gives you a mild case of Covid and you can predict your body’s reaction to Covid by judging how it responds to the vaccine.
Anonymous says
No, I understand how vaccines work. But the symptoms of the virus are reported to be much more horrible than the awful vaccine side effects I experienced. I can’t imagine suffering like that, plus not being able to breathe, plus having any number of other horrible symptoms, for days or weeks. I can’t imagine what would happen if my spouse and I were both sick like that for an extended period with kids in the house.
Katala says
Same symptoms with my first shot of Moderna and a very sore arm, worse than any flu shot. I don’t think I’ve had Covid (negative test after potential exposure and no antibodies when I gave blood last summer) but who knows. I figured pregnancy just made me more likely to be wiped out. I haven’t had the second, so we’ll see.
Anonymous says
I know quite a few people who were knocked out by the first shot. None of us had a positive test or any reason to believe we had the virus, and several of us have had negative antibody tests. I think it happens to plenty of peoples who haven’t had Covid.
Anonymous says
My whole team at work (hospital) is vaccinated- almost across the board very minor reactions to the first dose of either pfizer or moderna and much more significant to second dose. 17/20 people had to take time off work for second dose , not particularly correlated with how the first dose went (only one person had a major reaction to first dose). Hope that helps.
In our own family, My husband had pfizer, practically no reaction to first dose beyond sore arm and felt bad but not bad enough to take off work for second dose. I had moderna, very tired for 12-18 hours after first dose and just more extreme version of that for second (took a couple hours off work).
E says
Can someone help me think this out?
Run down of the family is three kids, 3,5,9 and two parents who both work full time out of the house. The 9 yo goes to school full time and the 5 yo goes to kindergarten every second day then goes to daycare with the 3 yo the rest of the time.
My three-year old and I got COVID tests today because he is sick (runny nose, cough and sore throat) and the nurse said I need to keep the 3 and 5 year old kids separate while I am at home to take care of them. I’m obviously not sending her to school or daycare but my partner and 9 year old are still going out of the house.
The nurse said if we don’t isolate from each other now and end up to have a positive case, then whoever had Covid has 10 days of isolation then the other members will have 14 for a total of 24 days. Wouldn’t they have to start counting their 14 days from the time we get a positive test and they start isolating?
Just a thought exercise, if I get a positive test I’ll obviously listen to the professionals.
Scilady says
Technically, if anyone in your household has a pending COVID test you need to keep everyone home until you get the results (so in this case, both your partner and 9 year old need to remain in the house). This assumes neither of you are in the medical profession (which may have job-specific requirements). You are all possible infectors at this point and until you get notified otherwise, everyone should stay home.
EDAnon says
I also agree that you should all be staying home if anyone is awaiting test results.
Anon says
That was not what NYCs Test and Trace said. My husband was exposed in November and when he asked if other family members should isolate while he waited for his test results. Test and trace said no.
EDAnon says
My understanding on the days is that it is 10 days from a positive test for you/kiddo. For family, it should be 14 days from the “exposure”, which I would say is the same as the positive test date. It’s not supposed to be 14 days from the last day of someone else’s isolation (though again, this is assuming you keep them apart starting now and after a positive test).
If you get a positive test, I assume the rest of your family would be tested too, which could reduce the quarantine time.
Anonymous says
The key here is “assuming you keep them apart starting now and after a positive test.” If you don’t keep them apart, the family is still exposed to the contagious family member after they test positive.
Anonymous says
Based on the experience of a friend whose family had COVID, the nurse is correct, although my friend was able to shorten the total time by getting tested at a certain point. The reason is that you need to isolate for 14 days after the last date on which the positive person is contagious, not the date they tested positive. If you’re keeping the positive person segregated from the rest of the family, the last date of exposure will be earlier.