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Has anyone had any success with the Birdies “flat that is secretly a slipper?” I am very tempted to order a pair of these, but I don’t have great luck with buying shoes sight unseen. However, these look incredibly comfortable and padded, while still being professional and fun. Since there’s free shipping and free returns, my finger is hovering over “add to bag.” Can anyone who owns these attest to their slipper-like qualities? I like the velvet versions, with my favorite being the python velvets that are sadly only in limited sizes. The Starling style is my favorite, and the price ranges from $95 to $165 depending on material. The Starling
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Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
- Hanna Andersson – Friends & Family Sale: 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Crewcuts – tk; extra 30% off sale styles; kids’ styles starting at $14.50
- Old Navy – Up to 75% off clearance
- Target – 20% off women’s clothing & shoes; up to 50% off kitchen & dining; 20% off jewelry & hair accessories; up to $100 off select Apple products; up to 40% off home & patio; BOGO 50% off adult & YA books
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Aly says
Any tips/thoughts for moving 9 month old into 3 year old’s room? Baby still wakes up at night and is currently in my room. I’m concerned about them waking each other, everyone getting less sleep. But I also want my bedroom back…
Allie says
We just did this with around those ages – we did CIO first to get the baby sleeping through the night (did it with baby in our room and we slept in the living room for two weeks). At the end of two weeks we moved the baby into the kids’ bedroom and made them both stay in there even if the baby cried (which was rare at that point). Toddler got the message quick to be very quiet and to just go back to sleep if the baby woke up crying. It was so worth getting our room back. Good luck!
Anonymous says
We did the same thing too, with the caveat that we had a pack n play set up in another room to move the baby to when she is teething, or fussing, or otherwise making a lot of noise and keeping the toddler up. However, that happens less often than you might think- toddler spends a lot of time singing and chatting at night, baby goes right to sleep. Baby cries in the middle of the night, toddler rarely wakes up. We do keep the camera on them (sometimes toddler likes to put too many books in with baby), so we had to set some ground rules. But it’s generally working very well! Good luck!
Anon says
We moved in baby with big bro when baby was still waking up in the middle of the night (and before we could really do CIO). Big bro slept through the wake ups. It was fine. Good luck!
Anokha says
Nursing bra recommendations? I am due in two days and, uh, I guess I should buy some…
Anon says
Following with interest – due in two weeks.
ElisaR says
i loved the bravado nursing bra. I also bought some cheapo ones from amazon that were pretty good considering the price. I will say i didn’t really need a nursing bra at first. I lived in the nursing camisoles until i got the swing of things. (meaning i didn’t buy more than one bra until a few weeks pp)
ElisaR says
one more thing: the size I needed changed a lot in the first few weeks, so I wouldn’t recommend the nice underwire ones until you normalize a bit. and the camisoles i used were from motherhood maternity. I didn’t like the target ones, they could not contain my ta-tas at all.
Anokha says
Thank you! I feel crazy. This is my second. With my first, I had two nursing bras and 3 nursing tank tops, but I am suddenly terrified that won’t be enough.
Pogo says
Oh man, with my first I had like 5 bras and 10 tank tops. That PP sweating is REAL.
ALC says
I got a bunch from Amaz*n, the iLoveSIA brand.
Anon says
Cotton Candy by Cake Lingerie – fit my then 38I’s
Sylvant says
Love these. I have three. I’m 32G while nursing, and I can wear these in public.
Anonymous says
Bravado nursing tank until after your milk has come in and you are past engorgement and your size has settled a bit. Then get yourself fitted at a nice lingerie shop and treat yourself to a couple great nursing bras. I loved panache brand nursing bras in fun colours like hot pink.
Anon says
Bravado ballet. Super comfy and should fit right away, as it’s stretchy. Then you can transition to real nursing bras (rec doing this when you’re 4 weeks or so pp and know your new size) and use it for sleeping or lounging!
Anon says
Bravado bodysilk full cup if you are over a D. If you have a small bust, Target has lots of cheap options.
Anonymous says
Buy a stretchy one from Bravado for now and see how bfeeding goes before investing in nice, underwire ones. Change had some pretty lace nursing bras.
DLC says
If you have a place to get measured and fit, I highly recommend it! I hated my bras then got fit and found out I was wearing two sizes too small!
From the bra store that fit me, I got an Anita bra that was nice- breathable and soft. Then I ordered a bunch from Nordstrom and ended up liking the Bravado Designs Invisible nursing bra and the Natori one as well.
Also – kindred bravely makes this amazing tank from organic cotton that is nice and thick and pretty- it even comes in a Kelly green color. I live in it and it is very supportive.
Anokha says
Thank you all! Googling these options now.
Anon says
Don’t forget about ones you can sleep in. I got some non-underwire ones from target that worked.
mascot says
I saw these shoes the other day online and now I really want some. Rothys did not work for me and I desperately need to upgrade my flats game for work (business casual).
ElisaR says
they are really cute. curious what the verdict is from people who have worn them
Birdies says
Following with interest about these shoes! I bought a pair of pointed Rothy’s after hearing how much people loved them and, despite going up the recommended 1/2 size, I find them very uncomfortable. It’s such a waste because they are lightly worn but I cannot return them. They are just sitting in my office in the box now.
Anon says
Re rothys, my mom has the pointed toes and I’ve tried hers on (which are up a half size for me) and still find them uncomfortable – but I love, love, love the flat and wear them all spring, summer and fall (winter I’m mostly in my dansko booties).
Anonymous says
I really like my Rothy’s pointed toe, but I had to go up one full size.
Anonanonanon says
I love my pointed-toe Rothy’s, but I find they get smelly quickly (which is not a problem I normally have)
CCLA says
I did not like the fit of the regular flat or pointed rothys, but adore the loafer, which is the same shape as the ones featured. It really does feel like wearing slippers to work. I think the loafer maybe has a wider toe box, though I still did go up a half size.
Anonymous says
I have wanted to try Rothy’s. If they’re an 8.5, I will buy them from you.
anon says
I’m wearing the Starling in the cognac leather now! I bought these and a pair from Nisolo at the same time. I ended up returning the Nisolos as the size 6 (their smallest size) was too big but I thought were a bit more professional looking. But I really like my Birdies a lot actually. I’ve only had them for about six weeks and aside from a very short breaking in period with the leather, they are perfect. I have really high arches and find them to give enough support. They are really comfortable and I wear them in my office everyday, which has a more casual dress code. I honestly bought them because I thought they looked cute on Meghan Markle but now I definitely would recommend!
lsw says
I really like flats from the brand …Me Too. They often have sales through their website. I love that they have a lot of wide sizes too, which helps me when I’m putting inserts in my shoes. I love the Amy flat and the Audra loafer.
Anon says
My coworker just got the birdies and said they are really like slippers.
Cb says
Ugh, jetlag is killing us all. We went from PST to GMT and my son slept great the first night and hasn’t really slept since. 5 hours the first night, maybe 7 last night because I let him sleep late. Back to nursery tomorrow and I’m hoping the normal routine might help him reset.
Last night included a night terror at 6am. Poor thing – screaming and thrashing and trying to walk. Just held him so he couldn’t hurt himself and he finally sighed and fell asleep. So scary for him.
Anon says
Get outside as much as possible, sunlight is the best jet lag cure. Also you might ask you ped about melatonin, which can help reset your bio clock and get you back to a normal bedtime when traveling East.
Anonymous says
We’ve always found that going back to daycare/nursery/school is the best remedy!
Pogo says
Mine has been having night terrors too! The other night he was crying and saying “No like it!!” Poor thing. He never seems to remember them, though.
TheElms says
We just did GMT to EST and the nest thing for resetting sleep was daycare. She was tired the first couple days and we had to move bedtime up about 30 minutes, but after that she’s been back to normal. Good luck, hoping nursery cures it for you!
Anonymous says
Seconding that daycare is great for this because they get tired our and can only nap at the correct hour for this time zone. We’ve done Europe to EST twice now and the first time the first night was rough (everyone was up for the day at 4am), but both times the kids went to daycare the next day and came home completely unjetlagged.
Bedtime Woes says
Wise hive, what has made your bedtime routine with little ones easier? We have a strong willed 3, almost 4 year old who fights us tooth and nail at bedtime each night. This has been a constant for probably a year. We have a routine that we do every night: shower/bath (every other day, wash cloth wipe down on other day), teeth brushing, pajamas, 4 books, cuddling, hugs and kisses, lights out. Story time is the only enjoyable part of the routine. Every other part is met with physical resistance to each step and she is always looking to add things to the routine to make it take longer. I know this may be standard for someone of her age and personality but looking for adjustments that might work. Does it help if one parent only does the routine and then do stories together? Let her do more on her own even if it takes longer?
Clementine says
This used to be me. What helped us was a low dose of melatonin and the threat of losing books if we ‘didn’t have enough time’.
Fight brushing teeth? ‘We won’t have enough time to read 4 books! It will only be 3 books!’ Also, if you want the ‘special treat’ of your door open and the light in the hallway on (I close doors when I go up to bed for fire safety reasons, thank you firefighter visit to school!), you need to stay in bed. Importantly, you need to follow through on the consequences.
Anonymous says
Yes for us this was the age that consequences started to work. She hated it but figured it out.
Anonymous says
This is a good article on natural and logical consequences – https://extension.umn.edu/encouraging-respectful-behavior/using-natural-and-logical-consequences
PinkKeyboard says
We’re pretty strict with both of ours (2 and 4). Any resistance after a warning leads to a lack of books. Continued resistance means you then lose cuddles and kisses. 4 is expected to do her own jammies and potty trip, 2 just needs to cooperate. They both love books and want to be tucked in so there is occasional resistance but then bitter bitter regret so most of the time a warning is enough. If 4 claims to be too tired to do her jammies or pee on the potty solo then clearly she needs an earlier bedtime the next night and goes to bed with 2. The threat of going to bed at baby bedtime gets her moving 80% of the time she balks.
AwayEmily says
One thing that’s helped us with our almost-4yo is having a thing she LOVES right at the very end so we can use taking that away as a “natural consequence” if necessary. The very last part of the bedtime routine is that after she’s tucked into her bed, teeth brushed, lights out, etc, she gets to hear a story (these days she loves hearing stories about when she was a baby). So, if her dawdling is especially bad we’ll say “if you keep doing this, we won’t have time for our story.” That almost always gets her to move along. We had to follow through with the threat a couple of times early on (which produced a LOT of crying) but she learned quickly we were serious and now it’s a pretty powerful tool.
Anonymous says
Ours only get one book but the possibility of losing the book is a huge motivator.
With four books you have tons of negotiating power. They lose a book when they don’t move along. I emphasize that I love reading to them and hope they chose to hurry up so they can have their book. Avoid using general directions like ‘hurry up’ and give specific instructions ‘please come to the sink so I can brush your teeth or we won’t have enough time to read a book’.
It’s a great logical consequence because you can clearly state that if they take too long getting ready they won’t have enough time for 4 books. You may end up with tears and complaints that it’s ‘not fair’ but once they learn you are serious and consistent, it will get much easier.
Some people do the opposite where there are zero books and they earn each book by completing the different steps on time.
OP says
OK sounds like the consensus is to follow through when making threats. I think we have tried this but have been too weak and caved most of the time. This gives me motivation to follow through even if it results in tears.
Anonymous says
Oh yeah they sense weakness. You gotta follow through every time.
Anonymous says
It might help to think about it as teaching them logical consequences and not as ‘making threats’. Logical consequences are an important part of self-regulation and great for kids to learn. Bedtime is a certain time, if they take too long at some things (brushing teeth/putting on pyjamas), that doesn’t leave enough time for other things (reading 4 books). Teaching kids logical consequences is super important and very helpful to them. I wish my parents had been stricter and more consistent around bedtime routines and logical consquences. They often let me read chapter books for inappropriately long amount of time because I would whine if they said lights out and I still struggle with bedtime routines as an adult. That’s part of the reason I’m so consistent with logical consequences around bedtime routines.
Anon says
The advantage of natural consequences is that they are not emotional. Threats are emotional.
I was a very compliant, but very threatened, kid. As an adult, I loathe people who threaten me, but simultaneously feel “burned out” on threats, like they are just one of life’s constants and are completely unavoidable and I should just ignore it. It’s like, just punish me or don’t, but stop making it A Thing. I also struggle to communicate needs with people without being a doormat, or threatening, because there was very little of that modeled for me.
The “logical consequences” model is so much better. “Sure, we can go to fancy dinner on Saturday, but it means that we probably shouldn’t also go to the movies on Friday night” is just such a better model than “What’s wrong with you? We’re going to end up destitute and on the streets if we spend money this way.”
Pogo says
I’m reading 123 Magic (thanks to this board!) and logical consequences is one of the alternatives, instead of a time-out. So if kiddo is hitting the wall with a toy broom, I count to 3 to give him a chance to stop the behavior, and then at 3 it gets taken away (natural consequence). You basically do the same thing with bedtime whining/resistance. You can give them chances to comply, but when they don’t listen, a natural consequence is no books (or fewer books).
Anon says
Natural consequences are ones that happen without adult intervention – you go to bed late so you’re tired the next day. Not having time for books is a logical consequence. Ideally our kids could just learn from natural consequences, but sometimes safety and adult sanity require imposing logical ones!
Pogo says
whoops, def mixed that up – youre right!
Pogo says
And oh yeah, it almost always results in tears – but usually for like 5 seconds. I think there’s actually more whining/crying if you try to reason with them (which is the guy behind 123 magic’s whole point).
Anonymous says
We started doing stories based on time available rather than a set # of books. This makes it easier to use story time as a consequence, and also gives you more flexibility as you start reading longer books. So we allow about 30 minutes for bedtime (not counting baths, which my son loves and we only do about 2x/week unless extra filthy). If teeth brushing/PJs/etc runs too long, we have less time for stories, or even no time.
Anon says
We have 3-year-old twins and have tried to simplify bedtime as much as possible, so that when only one parent is home it goes smoothly. I know some people are probably horrified by this, but in the winter we only do bathtime once a week (in summer it’s more frequent). We generally set a timer while playing after dinner, so when it goes off it’s time to go upstairs; this tends to work a little better than when a parent decrees it to be bedtime.
Our routine is potty trip, pjs, teeth brushing, 1 book, into bed. If they don’t come right upstairs when asked, they don’t get to pick out their own pjs. If they cooperate getting their pjs and bedtime diaper on, we can read an extra book before brushing teeth, which is usually a great motivator. We also sometimes let them bring a stuffed animal to “help” brush teeth, if that’s the sticking point in the routine.
DLC says
Thank you for admitting you don’t bath your kids every night! My 3 year old hates baths so much and it is such a time suck that I can only stand to do it once a week (or less)! I always feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t bathe their child every night. On New Years Day, my major parenting win was getting all three kids bathed.
Anon says
My 2 year old only gets a bath 1-2 times per week, usually when she gets visibly dirty eating yogurt or something similar. Pre-pubescent kids don’t sweat the way adults do, and frequent baths can be bad for eczema and other skin conditions.
Anon from 10:16 says
My kids don’t hate baths, but it takes up time and getting them dried off and hair brushed and such afterwards is such a pain! We bathe them when they look dirty or when we realize it’s been more than a week and a half… #winningatparenting
Anonymous says
We do showers but realistically it’s twice a week for the 1 and 5 year olds. Keep intending to move to 3x a weeK but it’s just not happening.
Allie says
I feel you. It’s a process but we’ve started using a behavior chart where once she’s in PJs/teeth brushed etc. she gets a sticker on the chart before story/song time. It’s helped but is not a silver bullet by any means.
Anon says
We definitely have had phases where this is a nightmare staying on top of them.
Agreed that having a motivator/something they want to to dangle over them helps. We only do 2 books (1 for each kid) and instead of taking away books my threat is typically if they don’t hurry I get to pick out the books instead of letting them pick. They love picking their story every night, so this is a big thing to them. Agreed that 4 is a lot though that allows for whittling down.
Kind of along these lines – this would disrupt the routine a bit – but keep in mind pajamas can get put on much earlier in the night. So if they want to play with something special after dinner, or watch 10 more minutes of a show if that’s your jam, or whatever, you can take a pause at that moment and have them put on their pajamas before they’re allowed to do that one more fun thing they want to do. It at least takes one step out of the night crunch time process.
We bought a behavior chart, put it on our fridge, our kids were super intrigued by it…. but we NEVER got around to actually doing it and I just gave it away completely unused, ha.
Sarabeth says
One thing that helps us is to order the activities so that there’s always something to look forward too. We have to do teeth brushing first, then bath (which my kids love), so the bath is the carrot. They don’t like getting out of the bath and getting dressed, but they love books, so the books are the carrot for that step. Then we turn off lights and cuddle while listening to a sleep story podcast – they also love that part. And the sleep story keeps going until they are asleep.
I will say that introducing the sleep story was kind of magic for my three year-old. He used to pitch a fit when the lights were turned off most nights, but now that he has the sleep story to look forward to, he’s actually eager to do it.
OP says
Interesting! How do you play the podcast and do you leave before they are asleep or stay in their room until they are asleep?
Boston Legal Eagle says
If she’s motivated by rewards, you can try a sticker chart. Our 3.5 year old is not quite as strong willed but he gets into phases where he fights bedtime. He now gets a sticker for putting his clothes on cooperatively (is that a word?) and for cleaning his room. Incredibly, those go smoothly when there’s a sticker involved! And agree on threatening to limit stories – that really motivates him too!
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
A few things helped us:
– A chart with each step that clearly showed what was expected
– A firm bedtime cutoff of 8 pm. We read books when we have time.
– Resistance/crying = straight to bed, skip books and everything else.
– Maturity – kids are now 5 and 7 and bedtime is so much less work.
OP says
Glad to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel :)
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
There is! When my kids were 2-4, I wanted to just a hire a babysitter from 7-9 pm every night and hide. Now they can do everything on their own, which is amazing. Most of the time I just sit on my daughter’s bed reading and keep them roughly on track. The only thing I do is a hair rinsing check and nail trim for the 5 year old, but that’s just once a week. (They rinse off the other days and only wash hair once a week.) Also having a babysitter put them to bed once night a week really helps because it feels like we get a break!
Anonymous says
Having a set time we start bedtime routine and a set time for lights out helped the most. Start getting ready 6:45, lights out 7:10. 4 year old knows everything must happen in that time or it won’t happen- we don’t bathe at that time so it’s “potty, teeth, pjs, books, bed” to a tune I made up. I still help take off the clothes and put on the pjs – he’s a little behind in that – but if he’s not cooperating the consequence is I won’t help or he won’t get to wear pjs. Usually we manage to read from about 6:55-7:10.
Anonymous says
My 5 year olds still often want help with their clothing and logical consequence of ‘if you don’t cooperate with changing into jammies, then I won’t help you get changed’ usually ensures quick compliance.
ALC says
My husband has the opportunity to go on an 8-day trip to Europe with a team from work (it’s not exactly a business meeting, but more like a goodwill/get to know your European counterparts trip). We have a 6-month old in daycare, and I’m in BigLaw. I’m thinking he should go but we should get a part-time nanny/baby sitter to do daycare pick up/evenings while he’s away. He thinks he should skip it rather than go to the trouble of finding a caregiver. We have no family nearby. What do you all think?
Anonymous says
I’d try to make it work if you can. Could one of the daycare teachers help out for that week? We hired one of ours to take our kid home a few days a week.
AnotherAnon says
Speaking as someone who is still scrambling to find backup care for my almost three year old, I would use this as an opportunity to find a caregiver for this trip and the future.
Anonymous says
I think it’s his job and his choice and you should accept it and leave it at that. Do you want to leave your 6 month old for 8 days for optional non-essential business travel?
NYCer says
Since it is his job, I would leave it up to him to decide whether or not he wants to go. And then based on his decision, plan accordingly (either let your boss know that you will have to leave early that week and logon again after bedtime, hire a babysitter, ask a daycare teacher if she is interested in taking him home and doing evenings, etc.).
Anon says
I think that if you’re the one who has to handle the logistics while he’s gone, your opinion matters more than his does. Furthermore, going on a trip doesn’t mean he has zero childcare duties for those 8 days: if there are logistics to be figured out before the trip, his portion of childcare duties is figuring out those logistics.
Anonymous says
He doesn’t want to go! And it’s his trip!
NYCer says
Based on this reasoning, it sounds like OP’s husband would just skip the trip (which is fine/normal – I have also passed on non-essential business travel since having kids). It seems like OP thinks he should go though. Not sure her opinion really matters more in this scenario, since she can’t force him to go on the trip!
Anon says
His opinion about the trip matters more than hers does, but if he does go, her opinion about childcare logistics matters more.
Anonymous says
But. He. Doesn’t. Want. To. Go. So why are you fighting a corner that doesn’t exist?
Anon says
I think her opinion matters if it could increase his opportunities at work. I think a spouse has the right to do a gentle push and say this could lead to a promotion or a raise down the line, you should go.
ALC says
I definitely wouldn’t try to make him go if he didn’t want to. Just trying to figure out if it’s doable. We probably need to figure out backup child care anyway, but we’ll see whether this is the time to make that push or not (it also somewhat depends on my work schedule, which hasn’t firmed up yet).
mascot says
I’d break it down like this. Before kids, would he have gone? If he didn’t have to do any work to find a sitter or worry about temporary childcare, would he want to go? In other words, is this really about him not wanting to go even if there are no obstacles or does he not want to deal with temporary hassles related to childcare? The way this was asked, it sounds like the latter.
GCA says
This! Yes it’s his trip, but what is he actually resisting? What are the costs and benefits to him and your family?
avocado says
This. OP can reassure him that child care doesn’t need to enter into his decision-making process, as she can handle it with outside help. Then he is free to make his own decision without worrying about leaving OP alone with the kids. He still might not want to be away from the kids for 8 days, but that’s up to him.
Sarabeth says
I agree with this. It’s useful to explore the sitter/nanny regardless of whether he goes on this trip or not.
But I wouldn’t want to leave my kid for that long at 6 months for business travel unless it were crucial to my career. And I think some guys would feel the same way, but might not feel like they are *supposed* to feel that way (because toxic masculinity, etc). It’s worth letting him know that you support him going if he wants to, but that you also support him staying home if that’s what feels better to him.
Allie says
I’m team go. It’s always helpful to have another sitter in the roster for things that come up in the future.
Anon says
Is it possible for you all to go? 6 months is a very good age for long haul travel. Pretty soon you little one will have strong opinions ;) and may not be a great sleeper on planes and in new places.
Buble says
Honestly, micromanaging your spouse’s career will only lead to frustration and heartache, take it from me. As a busy mom in BigLaw, you have enough on your plate. Your spouse’s career decisions, especially to the extent they do not create more work for you, are not your emotional load to carry. Let him decide whether to take the trip. If he does, make the arrangements that are needed. If he asks for your advice, give it. But if he’s decided he’ll skip it, then he skips it. You have to trust your husband enough to make the right decisions for his own professional development — he has much more context and ability to control them than you do, anyway.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Agree with this. Let him decide, and make arrangements if he decides to go. I would encourage you to find back-up caregivers in any case as you will most likely need them for all of the random baby and little kid related unexpected illnesses and late nights that come up.
You didn’t ask, but I think it’s perfectly valid to say no to travel for childcare concerns. I don’t go on any business trips unless absolutely necessary (which are very few and far between). Does it hurt my career? Maybe, but it’s a choice I’m making. My husband also doesn’t want a job where he has to travel at this stage in our lives.
Anon says
+1 to your last paragraph. My husband is an academic and definitely turns down travel opportunities, as do some other male (and female) academics we know. It’s actually something we discussed pretty intensely before kids. There’s a certain kind of male academic who didn’t travel much pre-kid and then suddenly once his wife has a baby, he’s jumping on a plane every chance he can get, to escape home responsibilities more than anything else. My husband wanted a baby more than I did (although I can’t imagine my life without our child now), so I made it clear to him that I wasn’t signing up for lots of solo parenting, and if he wanted a child, he needed to be judicious about his work travel. He agreed and has definitely upheld his promise. He takes travel opportunities that will enhance his resume (mainly invited talks, often at less-than-glamorous US locations) but isn’t submitting contributed talks (much less prestigious for his CV) to conferences in Italy because he wants to eat pasta and dodge childcare responsibilities. So if your husband doesn’t feel this is essential to his career and doesn’t want to go, I think you should fully support that.
Buble says
Sounds like you and your husband are doing awesome — thanks for sharing.
Anon says
Thanks for the kind comment Buble!
Anonymous says
This. My DH regularly turns down non-essential travel because he doesn’t want to miss time with the kids.
Pogo says
Husband and I both travel a lot, so for us it would be a Yes unless major extenuating circumstances (or of course if Husband doesn’t actually want to go). When one of us is travelling, the other usually adjusts schedule to be able to do both pickup/dropoff but we also have extra help (either my mom or paid babysitter). My mom has a carseat in her car (since usually we park at the airport and then the other person has their car at work), but if you’re using a babysitter/nanny I’d buy a carseat for them as well so they can help with pickup.
Novice says
First time mom – we are due in May and trying to figure out childcare right now. We live in the urban core of a major NE city and currently have transit commutes. There are several reputable day cares nearby that would be like a ten minute walk. How do I do this in the morning with the baby? Like if I tote the baby in a stroller or carrier do I leave the stroller or carrier at daycare or do I take it with me empty to work? This seems silly but just trying to figure out the logistics.
Thanks! Any other tips for urban baby wrangling are appreciated!
Anonymous says
Depend. Some day cares allow you to leave a stroller, some do not.
Lily says
Our daycare has a stroller “shed” but after using it for a few days, I realized I’d rather take the empty stroller with me to work where it stays clean/not beat up, even if I do look a little silly walking around with an empty stroller. In the stroller shed, you had to fold up your stroller and people would knock it over, in the summer it got humid/musty, etc. Plus I like to use the basket to carry around stuff which is useful to take into work if I have a box or something else that’s heavy.
Anon says
We live in DC and take metro with our kid (21 months) to daycare. Husband does dropoff, and I do pickup.
I didn’t find that a carrier worked well with work clothes, so we always use a stroller (but DC has lots of elevators and escalators, so this is easier for us than in many other cities). We have the Uppababy Minu, and it has been great (although we used the snap n go for the first 6 months).
When we were looking at daycares we asked about stroller storage and most of them had it – so I’d ask the centers you’re looking at. Sometimes the storage is outdoors and isn’t secure, so you may need a bike lock for your stroller or just get a used beater stroller that you don’t care too much about. A lot of daycares also have indoor coat cubbies, and if you go the carrier route you can store it in there.
Anonymous says
I’m in NYC, and we left the stroller at daycare. One daycare had an outdoor storage area (covered but leaky, so we left the rain cover on in bad weather), the other allowed them inside but they had to be folded. See what yours allows. This may impact your stroller choice. In snow, a carrier is easier, and I would definitely leave that there, but otherwise a stroller is nice because you will also have your bag and likely a bag for the baby plus the baby to carry, and it gets heavy. We also used to use a bike and leave the bike seat there; it had a bracket that allowed us to attach it to different bikes.
Anonymous says
PS – a rain poncho is very useful for keeping dry while pushing a stroller in the rain.
Anonymous says
We’re in an urban suburb where most people drive to daycare, but probably about a third walk or transit. All daycares I’ve been associated with or had friends at have let parents leave strollers or other transport devices (kid bike helmet and seat, bike trailer, scooters, careats, etc) somewhere at daycare, but it’s completely reasonable to ask! Depending on the size of the center, there’s not always an indoor storage space for strollers, but we spent a couple years leaving our stroller outside (under a roof) and it was totally fine. I’d be very surprised if an urban center didn’t at least let you leave a baby carrier in his cubby.
Cb says
We have a bus commute. I’d prefer to use a sling for transit but my son naps in his stroller so we bring it and leave it in the outdoor storage. If your child doesn’t nap in the buggy, they ask you to fold it, but otherwise you can leave it out. Sometimes I leave the buggy there during the week and just tote him in the sling, especially if I’m getting a later / more crowded bus.
Anonymous says
Not a transit commute, but I’ve always walked kids to child care, then walked to my office. The first daycare we attended didn’t have good stroller storage, so we’d use either a Bjorn (first year) or a stroller that I’d then walk, empty, to my office after drop off. The new daycare we recently switched to has a great stroller storage room– a giant closet with wall hooks, floor space, and cubbies for car seats. We now just leave our stroller there during the day.
My only caution is that you will hear “hahahaha, are you forgetting something?” in reference to your pushing an empty stroller at least twice a day, if you go that route. It gets old, really fast. Yes, I’m a grump.
Anonymous says
Just for fun, you could put a doll or teddy bear in the stroller and watch people’s reactions.
ElisaR says
haha
Anonymous says
Rearfacing stroller with sunshade down like the Stroll-Air cuts out a lot of this as it’s not obvious that there is not a baby there until they’ve walked past you and even then only if they turn to look in.
Pogo says
I always wonder if people if people think this about me when I’m running to pick kiddo up in the stroller, but no one has every said anything (also since I’m running I think that helps). It does feel weird to have an empty stroller.
Sarabeth says
Our daycare has a stroller shed, which we use daily. Yeah, our stroller probably gets beat up, but it’s easier for me than taking it to work. My work bag goes in the stroller basket on the way to daycare, then I carry it the rest of the way to work with me as usual. Agree that this might affect your choice of stroller – if space is at a premium, one that folds up small with minimal effort will make your life much easier.
I have used a carrier in a pinch, but it’s awkward to have the baby plus the baby’s bag plus my bag. And my second kid ran hot and cold on the carrier – it was *super* awkward if he was pitching a fit while I tried to carry all that. He didn’t always love the stroller, either, but at least then he wasn’t knocking my bag around with his thrashing.
Io says
Our Brooklyn daycare allowed strollers for the <1 room. The older kids mostly walked. One mom who had a longer walk used the Yoyo Zen and would fold it up into a large LLBean tote bag. I had so much stroller envy!
Ashley says
Late to this, but our DC daycare has an indoor room they use for strollers, no restrictions because it’s a big room. We take metro to and from and leave the stroller at daycare. Another we toured had an indoor closet for stroller storage and only allowed umbrella strollers that they required to be folded. So I would just ask the daycares you’re considering.
Sarah says
Anyone have any good recommendations for tall maternity clothes??
The few places that I can find online (gap, old navy) are almost entirely sold out of tall pants have been for weeks. No better luck if I call customer service.
lsw says
This was brutal (5’10”, 33-34″ inseam). I had some luck with LOFT full length trousers – they were a bit too short (i.e., I wouldn’t have bought them for “real” pants) but I figured people would give me the benefit of not looking the most polished. Topshop and ASOS were OK for some things. I was due in July so towards the end I wore a lot of cropped or ankle length pants. Isabella Oliver had a pair of flowy knit pants that worked in my biz casual office. I seriously think this is a lacking market – I would have paid $$$ for one good pair of trouser-length black pants!
Actually, I’d pay $$$ for a pair of non-maternity trouser length pants right now.
Anon says
That sucks! I can wear jeans to work but I got several good pairs at Old Navy.
Anonymous says
Jcrew? I find their regular lengths are reasonably long. I also contacted a few of the higher end consignment shops in my area and asked them to let me know whenever tall sizes came in. They usually don’t do it but tall sizes are a more specific market so they were fine with doing that. I picked up a couple good items that way.
lsw says
Does J Crew do maternity now? That would be a game changer!
Anonymous says
They do some maternity but not tall maternity.
Sarah says
They have some maternity but basically no talls.
Anon says
Ingrid & Isabel had some black pants that were great and surprisingly too long for my usual 34 inseam. You have to buy from their store, the target line is a lesser quality. Gap restocks frequently I think so they will probably have your size in a couple weeks again.
anonn says
Asos has inexpensive maternity clothing in talls. I got some decent stuff there.
Beth @ Parent Lightly says
The GAP was the only place I had decent luck on tall sized pants. Hopefully they’ll restock now post-Christmas?
Ashley says
I have the black velvet Starlings. Love them! Super comfortable and professional enough for my casual office. I’ve had them about 2 years and they are still in pretty good shape.
Anonymous says
Why can I post here but not on the main page? My comments on the main page never appear, not even the next day.
Anonymous says
Who knows? Moderation is terrible and Kat doesn’t care at all to fix it.
So Anon says
I have a sabbatical from work this summer (4 weeks!), and I am taking my kids to France for two weeks in June (split between Paris and Provence). My biggest question: Has anyone rented a car and driven in France? I am thinking of renting a car once we get to Avignon. Is it terribly stressful? I am concerned that the public transit will not permit us to come and go as we please and see the things that I’d like around Provence. Second, does anyone have a recommendation of a place to stay in Paris? Thanks!!
Anonymous says
How great! I don’t drive in Italy but I’ve definitely driven in DH’s hometown area (Austria and Germany). If you’re not used to standard, rent an automatic as it’s one less thing to worr about when driving. Road signs are standardized throughout the EU so learn those before you go. A key difference is no right turn on red so make sure to remember that. If you’re nervous about driving in urban areas, like right in Nice or Paris, you can drive to the train station and take a train from there. We rarely take the train at home so my kids LOVE taking the train in Europe even for short distances.
Anonymous says
We usually rent from Sixt FWIW.
rosie says
We rented a car at the train station in Aix en Provence and it worked out well. It was several years ago and pre-kid, but I remember it being a little disorganized. If you have strict requirements — like car size for car seats or automatic — I might be a little more wary. But we just needed a car that could fit 4 adults in some fashion and were ok with manual, and eventually we got our car (reservation in advance…I think maybe the first car we were given didn’t work or was hard to find or something). The driving itself wasn’t bad, although getting gas was a little complicated because we couldn’t find one that was open and we didn’t have chip + pin cards for pay at the pump. Also suggest researching what tolls may be on your route and just make sure you have whatever you need to get through, whether it’s exact change or a pass or whatever it is now (my info is probably outdated — this came up for us driving from Aix to Nice, but the friend we were staying with made sure we had change before we left).
Anonymous says
You can use credit card at toll stations.
Pogo says
Chip + pin is needed basically everywhere in Europe. I’m glad we finally caught on here.
Anon says
France has a really good train system, even in the rural areas, and I don’t think it would inhibit your sightseeing to use trains. I wouldn’t rent a car personally, although I think if you know how to drive manual and know a little French, it’s not a big deal.
So Anon says
From my exploration of the train schedules, there is often only a single train to and from certain smaller towns on a given day, especially on the weekends. My first car was manual and I know a bit of French, so I’m seriously considering it!
Pogo says
You don’t need to know the language to drive, just the key things you’re looking for (like “exit”, “airport”). It’s km/h that messes me up more than anything.
Anon says
We rented a car outside of Paris and drove through the Loire Valley. In our experience, once you’re away from the major cities, driving is very easy. Picking or dropping off the car at a train station outside of the city and taking the train in is a good idea. Just make sure you get an automatic rental car (most cars in Europe tend to be manual) plus a GPS and you’ll be golden.
I highly recommend the Loire Valley if it’s not already on your list. We went as a couple but it seemed very family friendly and there were tons of kids there. We hope to bring our kids there someday!
Anonymous says
We stayed here for a week (4 adults, one toddler) and it was incredible. https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/576992
We didn’t rent a car– we took the train between Paris and Nice and for some daytrips from Nice and it was perfect for us.
So Anon says
Thank you!!!
Pogo says
I also have Provence recs if you’re interested! We stayed at a lovely chambre d’hotes (B&B) that I’d highly recommend. We also did a bunch of vineyards which I feel like would be surprisingly kid-friendly, letting you picnic on the grounds, etc.
So Anon says
Yes!! I would love any recommendations!
Pogo says
So fun! We rented from Sixt at the Marseille airport I believe when we went to Provence. No issues. We got an automatic in case I wanted to drive (I can’t drive standard) so I think it might have been more expensive, and I never ended up driving at all (lol). Driving in Provence was fine, though they love their roundabouts as opposed to traffic lights. I think we valeted at our hotels. I always use g00gle maps to navigate in Europe and never have issues (also drive frequently in Germany for work).
I can’t recall in that part of France, but in Germany and Switzerland they are big on the speeding cameras – so you get a ticket in the mail after the fact and didn’t even know you were speeding. And they’re $$$$.
So Anon says
Ah yes! I remember the speeding cameras well! I spent three years in Germany as a teenager, albeit too young to drive.
Anon says
Any tips for helping your toddler adjust in a new time zone? We are doing CA to Hawaii (backwards three hours) in a few weeks and I’m a little nervous about messing with my amazing sleeper’s schedule. We’ve never traveled with her outside of our time zone before. Any advice from those who have been there, done that?
Anonymous says
We never do the full adjustment. Don’t try to 100% move to the new timezone unless you’re going to be there for like 3 weeks. We usually just adjust by about 2 hours max. Obviously this doesn’t work if they time zone change is like 6-8 hours but for a 1-4 hour change, it usually works. Lack of sleep on the plane/tired from travel plus lots of outdoor time usually helps as well.
NYCer says
+1. For a 3 hour time change and presumably a week (or shorter) trip, I wouldn’t even try to adjust. Your toddler will probably adjust naturally by an hour or so by the end of the week, but otherwise, I would just expect early bedtimes and early morning wake ups (i.e., ready to start the day at 4 or 5 am). Fortunately the weather is nice in Hawaii and hotels tend to have beautiful gardens, etc., so you should be able to go walk around and play outside a bit, even if it is dark and 5am.
Anon says
Expect earlier than normal wake-ups, and just roll with it, which may mean going to bed when your kid goes to bed or soon after. Three hours isn’t so bad, but we did East Coast to Hawaii (6 hours) at 11 months and my toddler woke up every day at 3 am, and it probably would have been even earlier if she wasn’t a night owl who was waking up at 8 am at home. We’ve done east coast to CA (3 hours) multiple times and she’s usually up at 5-6 the first day, but then we’ve been able to get her sleeping past 7 am by the second day. Honestly, waking up early in Hawaii is kind of a treat – you can beat the crowds to the best brunch places and enjoy uncrowded beaches without worrying about the intense sun of mid-day.
Don’t worry about “breaking” her – my experience is that no matter how badly they sleep on the trip, they snap back to normal immediately when they get home.
Cb says
I feel like that direction is easier. My son adapted to GMT to PST in one night. But in Hawaii, I’d just roll with the early wake-ups. I think being on the beach with my toddler as the sun rose would be magical.
Anon says
Isn’t Hawaii only two hours off CA? I think they don’t do Daylight Savings, so in summer it’s 3 hours behind and in winter it’s only 2 hours behind. Two hours is really NBD for jetlag. You can stay on the old time or adjust; either way it will be fine.
Anon says
It is only two hours right now! Thank you for pointing this out. It made my week. Two hours seems like NBD.
anon says
I agree, and don’t commit to late nights (or at least, be disappointed if they don’t happen). We tried to do a luau and the kids were asleep halfway through. (And they are older and are used to staying up.)
Anonymous says
Our kids napped great on drives so that was the main motivator for us to rent. We got in naptime while driving from point A to point B vs taking trains where everything was much too exciting to nap. Take window sunshades as well.
anonyc says
any tips on getting an almost-2 year old to eat faster? toddler likes to talk, sing songs, play games, ask for a fork, give back the fork, etc. etc. and takes nearly an hour to eat a dang waffle.
anne-on says
Mine was (and still sort of is) a super slow eater. That was about the age we did the following:
Sand (or other visual timers), and natural consequences – ‘if you’re playing games and singing I guess you’re not hungry, so we’re done eating now!’ or, ‘if we can’t finish breakfast by the time the sand is gone we won’t have enough time to
I assume there are mid-morning snacks provided at home or daycare – truly, they won’t starve if they don’t eat much (or anything) at one meal. I also remember being surprised at how much less toddlers/little kids need to eat compared to smaller kids. My baby would eat purees/cereals/drink milk like he was a yawning void of emptiness. As a toddler I think he survived on applesauce and air some days…
Anon says
Yep, I have super slow eaters and we use a visual timer. They get 30 minutes to eat breakfast and then we have to leave for daycare. That’s plenty of time to eat their toast and fruit and if they chose to only take 2 bites then so be it. (They get snack a couple hours later at daycare, so I’m not too concerned. On mornings that they’re actually hungry, they’ll eat their whole breakfast in 10 minutes and request seconds.)
avocado says
I could never get my kid to eat faster, so I had to find opportunities for her to eat while I wasn’t waiting around. During the day care years, her breakfast was a snack trap of cereal and a straw cup of milk, eaten either in the car on the way to day care or in front of Sesame Street while I blow-dried my hair within sight of her.
Anon says
I was and am a slow eater, but was not a distracted eater. Best advice I can offer is to remove or not allow the distractions, but balance that against not forcing her to eat at your pace. “Sally, take a bite of your waffle” when she starts to sing a song. “It’s eating time” when she tries to play a game. Or just keep handing her a fork with food on it at regular intervals so that she can learn what pace she should be eating at.
GCA says
PSA, reporting back on those inflatable cushions you can use in front of airplane seats: we traveled to Asia and back over the Christmas period and used one for each kid (.45, 1.5) on all 4 flight legs. Each kid had their own seat and was able to lie down, though not stretch out flat, using the cushions. Flight attendants said nothing. Would definitely use again!
Anon says
I assume you meant 4.5 not .45? ;) Thanks for the report! I’ve been wondering about these and I think we’ll get them for our next transatlantic flight since my 2 year old is no longer very comfortable in the Cosco carseat. Were your kids actually able to sleep or just lie down and rest?
GCA says
Ha yes, 4.5! Both kids slept, as it was 24h of travel all told, so the sleep pressure was definitely there. Tall kid 1 was able to lie down and sleep curled up, as he does at home. Toddler also slept, somewhat on my lap but the cushion offered a little protection from falling off altogether. I dozed in the seat next to her fitfully. Kids were pretty zippy when we got to our destination. Parents were exhausted for two days, which is standard!
Pogo says
What brand is it? Assume this is different than FlyLegsUp?
GCA says
Not the FlyLegsUp, but very similar – I went for the generic with the highest Amaz*n ratings. I think it was about $25.
Anonymous says
What airline? I’ve been looking at these, but also keep seeing airline websites that expressly forbid them.
GCA says
Sorry I’m seeing this late! We flew Cathay Pacific.
Anonymous says
+1 we’ve done this with an almost-two-year-old, also to Asia and it was really helpful. Just check that your airline doesn’t explicitly prohibit them. We flew with Hainan who declined to tell us whether they’d be allowed or not, leaving it up to the FA, and no one cared. We used Koala Kids which was a less-expensive option on the River site.
Anon says
Has anyone used something like this? https://www.flyawaydesigns.com/products/flyaway-kids-bed
Their website says they meet airline standards so it sounds like their might be less of an issue with it being prohibited? but maybe I’m being naive about that and just buying into their marketing. My toddler slept ZERO on our last Europe flight (despite having her own seat + carseat) and I’m really hoping to change that next time.
Lisa says
yes it’s awesome! It’s a new one that’s heaps better than the other inflatable ones I’ve seen. It won a design award. We used Flyaway Kids Bed for a flight on Singapore Airlines over Christmas with my 2 boys and they slept through the night flight 8hours! Never happened before! it’s such great quality too & everyone was asking where we got it from. Just check your airline is in the list of approved ones tho https://www.flyawaydesigns.com/pages/airlines
Cough heeeeelp says
Give me any and all recs of suppressing a cough. I had bronchitis for 3 weeks in December, but couldn’t take anything good because I’m pregnant. Was in and out of work due to nonstop and uncontrollable coughing, but plowed through knowing it had to get better at some point. Felt better for a week or so, and now I’m getting sick again (as in, the epic coughing is back). I do not have any patience for this, and can’t handle hiding in my office and/or shuttling back and forth between home and work for another three weeks. I drink all the tea, get all the sleeps, take all the hot showers, have a humidifier going at night, and down all the unhelpful cough medicine I’m allowed. Any old wives tales or sorcery to recommend?
Anon says
I’m not sure it’s an old wives tale because I think there is actually scientific evidence it helps, but honey worked wonders when my toddler had RSV.
rosie says
Do you have any post-nasal drip going on? I find neti pot really helpful and have been trying to do it daily in winter to get out ahead of stuff. Depending on what tri you’re in, you may have other med options, like sudafed.
Is the unhelpful cough medicine you are already taking Zarbee’s? If not, it’s another thing to try.
ElisaR says
i agree, the neti pot helped me when i was pregnant and had a nasty cough! also, ricola makes cough supressant cough drops. do they help? I don’t know might just be mental but i thought they did. vicks vapo rub on the feet with socks on is the other silly old wives tale that i tried.
sorry, it really stinks.
anon says
Has your doctor offered anything? My colds often roll into bronchitis and it is the worst, I can’t imagine being pregnant at the same time! Staying calm (like not getting winded) and no talking helps. Always wear a scarf in the cold. Fisherman’s Friend cough drops, and Tesalon peals ( rx only)
Pogo says
oh hi friend. same same. I also have asthma which I feel like helped my case w/ the doctors. What kicked it for me finally was a steroid (budesonide) nebulizer. It’s a locally acting agent that’s OK during pregnancy. Can you try asking for something along those lines? Also, do you have any idea what triggered it (beyond a standard cold)? I also have allergies, which I believe contributed to mine, so I went back on Zyrtec which the OB OK’d. I also used my rescue inhaler, which I wasn’t crazy about since it’s category C but I couldn’t breathe and the OB was like, well, you need to have oxygenated blood for the baby to grow…..
Do you have another kid? The hardest part for me was/is toddler wrangling. I basically told DH I could not do anything remotely physical that would trigger a coughing fit, so he was 100% on toddler duty. That really helped.
Hang in there! I think 3w was the turning point for me. I haven’t had it since childhood, and man. It is worse than I remember.
daycare woes says
just found out the daycare I thought I had lined up for my 4 week old baby is not an option anymore–they changed their program so they now no longer accept infants and only accept 2 yos and up. No notice, didn’t even email me to tell me, I called them to see where we are on the wait list. There are very, very few infant care options in my city so now I don’t know what to do. I guess we’ll have to go the nanny route, which we did with my daughter for the same reason, but its so expensive, not sure how we’ll afford it. i’m so annoyed that its so impossible for families with two working parents to work! i feel so frustrated and angry that i want to cry.
Anonymous says
Any chance you’re in DC? This same thing happened to a friend of mine a month ago. Super frustrating! She was able to get a spot at a home-based daycare by calling around a bunch of places; is that an option for you? Or a nanny-share, to cut down on some costs? There are likely others in the same boat as you, if infant case is that limited.
Second mat leave says
Has anyone here taken two maternity leaves relatively close together? I’m unexpectedly pregnant with #2 and the thought of telling my firm that I’ll be going out on leave again is giving me major anxiety. I can’t imagine they are going to take it well.
#1 took multiple rounds of IVF so this has been a huge (but positive) shock in a number of ways.
Anonymous says
We have an associate out on her second maternity leave within a year. They’re making her take it unpaid because she didn’t work a year in between. Tbh it’s being taken as a clear sign she doesn’t care about the job, but a lot of that is just her. I’m sure they won’t love it, but it will be fine. Or it won’t and you’ll get a new job.
Second mat leave says
“It’s been taken as a clear sign that she doesn’t care about the job.” I get it, but Ugh, being a woman is hard.
Anon says
How soon is soon? Going on leave over a year after you returned from the first leave (meaning babies are 15-18 months apart depending on the length of the leave) is pretty common – I think everyone understands that women in their mid-late 30s tend to space kids pretty close together for fertility reasons. I think going on leave less than a year after you returned would kind of raise eyebrows, but there’s not really anything anyone would do about it (I work for the government though, so definitely less intense/harder to get fired than Big law).
Second mat leave says
Within a year and a half of my first leave.
BabyMom says
I took three 12 week leaves in ~2.5 years. (Baby 1 born June, Baby 2 born the following July, Baby 3 born the following August. I think having them close together helped, because at this point (I just got back from leave 3 a couple months ago) no one remembers how many kids I have or how many leaves I took because they all blend together. I’m sure people will care even less five years from now.
anon says
I took my third leave within 1.5 year of my second. (3 5-month leaves in 4 years.) I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think anyone cared. Or really was paying attention, TBH.
Heidi says
I am OBSESSED with Birdies! I now have 7 pairs (mostly the Starling but I have 1 Heron and 1 Blackbird style), a few of which I keep solely at work for days I want to ditch the heels I wore just for a meeting. They are unbelievably comfortable and exactly like a slipper but I am fully comfortable wearing them to any work event that I would choose to wear a flat for. I work in an academic medical center with a business professional to business casual attire depending on whether I’m seeing patients or in the research lab that day, and I wear Birdies almost exclusively these days. Grade A addicted. Rothy’s are good too, but not as comfortable as Birdies in my opinion.