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I’ve recommended a multitude of wrap tops and wrap dresses on this site, but this is a first for me: wrap pants! I think if you’re bored of the basic trouser and want to add interest, this is a fun way. Personally, I let my tops/jewelry do the talking but always appreciate seeing bottoms that are interesting and unique. The major upside to these seem to be the elastic waistband and the fact that they are pull-on — the wrap is solely decorative. Also, the single review mentions that these pants have pockets, which I always appreciate. They are available at Anthropologie for $120 in regular and petite sizes XXS–XL in the pictured black as well as blue and olive green. Cupro Wrap Trousers For a washable option in plus sizes, try these pants at Eloquii, available up to size 28. Looking for other washable workwear? See all of our recent recommendations for washable clothes for work, or check out our roundup of the best brands for washable workwear. This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 5.5.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase (ends 5/12); $50 off your $200+ purchase (ends 5/5)
- Banana Republic Factory – Spend your StyleCash with 40-60% off everything, or take an extra 20% off purchase (ends 5/6)
- Eloquii – $19 & up 300+ styles and up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Shirts & tees starting at $24.50; extra 30% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles & extra 15% off; extra 55% off sale styles
- Nordstrom: Nordy Club members earn 3X the points on beauty; 30% off selected shoes
- Talbots – 40% off one item & and 30% off everything else; $50 off $200 (all end 5/5)
- Zappos – 27,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 40% off everything & extra 20% off select styles with code
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Lyssa says
Not to be rude, but this does not look flattering to me at all. It screams “mom pants” in all the ways that that’s an insult.
Looks like this is shaping into yet another year where I barely update my well-worn wardrobe, because everything that’s stylish now is just so darn ugly.
Manageress says
Agreed – this is going to emphasize my mom pooch in the worst way possible.
Ms B says
+!. I like these in concept my pooch does not need any more emphasis.
Anonymous says
I could see it looking good on a very specific body type. But yeh not for most people.
Pigpen's Mama says
+1
Katharine Hepburn would look amazing in these. I would look like I was wearing Oompa Loompa pants or something…
Interesting fact that I wish I didn’t know, they make “s*xy Oompa Loompa” costumes, because of course they do…
anon says
Yeah, I feel that way about all pants with pleats. I would not feel confident in them.
Mrs. Jones says
I hate these so much.
Eek says
Yes! These are the worst!
End of Leave says
Returning to work in a couple of weeks after 20 weeks of maternity. My husband will be home with baby for his leave, which will make the transition a lot easier, but I’m still really really dreading it. Baby’s not sleeping thru the night yet and is exclusively breastfed, but on good nights we’re just up once for a quick feed. Still, I’m tired. Bad nights are…well, bad.
Looking for all and any advice. Especially practical tips for managing schedules, pumping at work, etc. I think my mantra is just going to be “this will get easier,” because I know at first I’m going to be super sad.
Lyssa says
In the interest of making sure that you can sleep as much as possible, I would definitely recommend working on trying to have your husband feed the baby (either formula or pumped milk) at night. You can sleep in another room if the baby wakes you up – if he’s on leave, he should be up at night. Many people also find that formula at night (right before bed) keeps baby fuller longer.
Otherwise, just take it easy on yourself. No one minds if you don’t put in the extra effort for the first few weeks back – just do the bare minimum, and get through it. I found watching videos of the baby on breaks to be helpful when I was feeling down.
AwayEmily says
Agreed on this — if possible, get a white noise machine for yourself and sleep somewhere where you can’t hear the baby so you can get some uninterrupted sleep. That will help A LOT.
Anon says
As an additional data point, I went back to work at 5 months and my child did not sleep through the night (and I was up with her, either breastfeeding or soothing) for 10 more months, and it was fine. It wasn’t great, I drank a fair amount of coffee, and my work level was probably at 75%, but I got through it and it was fine. So don’t beat yourself up or think it’s impossible if you can’t (or don’t want to) hand off night feedings.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I get sad when everyone’s immediate advice is to start supplementing. Feeding the baby at night is doable. Especially if Dad can get up to do the diaper changes, settle kiddo back to sleep, etc. You’d only be nursing. It’s really not that bad.
anon says
different people need different amounts of sleep. for me, having to feed the baby at night was really really really hard and the lack of sleep was catching up to me leading me to get sick all the time. OP- if you don’t want to give formula, see if you can pump enough milk for DH to feed baby at least a few nights a week, or if you don’t want to use formula every night, again, think about doing it a few nights a week. on DH’s nights I would sleep with ear plugs and it was amazing.
Lana Del Raygun says
I dunno, it takes a lot out of me. I’ve been falling asleep holding the baby in bed (on a big fluffy duvet) lately, and I don’t know how to prevent that without waking myself up really aggressively, which makes it harder to get back to sleep. And you may be able to hand off night feedings without supplementing, if you don’t want to do that.
Lyssa says
A lot of things are doable. Women (and men) have lived through far, far harsher things in life then getting up during the night and then working a full day.
That doesn’t mean that they should. If you don’t want to supplement, by all means, don’t. But there’s no good reason not to, other than personal preference.
Anonymous says
No, being awakened in the middle of the night for any reason is legitimately horrible. We are out of the baby stage, but my husband snores and wakes me up multiple times during the night. He recently started sleeping in another room on weeknights. I had no idea just how sleep-deprived I was or how much it had been affecting me until I’d had a week or two of uninterrupted sleep. The cognitive impact was astounding.
Anon says
I recommend doing some reading about the mental and physical health effects of chronic sleep interruption. They’re real, and even if you are getting two 4-5 hour chunks of sleep, it’s not the same as one 8-9 hour chunk. Even a few months of chronic sleep deprivation can have permanent health consequences, and that’s to say nothing of the risks to the baby from having a chronically sleep-deprived caregiver. Like many things in life, it’s “doable” but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy or the right decision for everyone.
Anonymous says
This. It’s totally doable. I nursed sidelying in bed. DH brought me baby and put baby back to sleep when done nursing. I barely had to wake up and raise my eye mask slightly to latch baby. I’m always surprised about the panic around getting 8-9 hours of sleep. Our bodies are designed to nurse babies every 3-4 hours. The idea of getting 8-9 hours of uninterupted sleep is a modern notion.
Anon says
It’s true that humans didn’t used to sleep in 8 hour stretches, but we slept WAY more total – much like babies, we all used to take shorter sleeps around the clock. Our bodies may have been “designed” to nurse every 3-4 hours, but that was before the recent invention of the 9-5 (or more) office job, which prevents us from taking an afternoon siesta. I highly recommend Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. It’s eye-opening and terrifying. Even short-term sleep deprivation is a significant risk factor for almost every physical, cognitive and mental health issue you can imagine. It’s hugely associated with eventually developing Alzheimer’s disease, which is going to be a big concern in my generation when many of us will live to 90+ because of advances in the treatment of cancer and other physical diseases. Taking sleep seriously is NOT unreasonable.
Anonymous says
The idea of getting 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night is a modern notion, because the idea of going all day without any sleep is a modern notion. Humans are biologically programmed to nap, but we can’t take naps because we all have to go to work/school all day. So the next best substitute is a long stretch of sleep at night. You have no idea what you’re talking about, Anon at 11:59.
Anonymous says
On a positive note – around 5-6 months my kiddo stopped pooping at night We went up a size in pampers overnight and I didn’t change between 10 pm and 6 am and night feeds got so much better easier. I couldn’t get rid of night feeds entirely until about 8-9 months, but lots of people can as soon as food starts.
(gastro-colic – before that he pooped at least once every night, sometimes every feed…. yes he was pooping like 6x per day for almost 6 months!!).
AwayEmily says
to the Anon at 11:12 who said “I get sad when everyone’s immediate advice is to start supplementing.” First, that was not anyone’s “immediate advice,” much less “everyone’s,” it was one of many suggestions all aimed at helping the OP take care of herself. Depending on her sleep needs and her preferences, one possible way to do that is through supplementing with formula. If that makes you “sad,” then so be it, but I don’t think there’s anything sad about a community of women offering practical solutions to someone going through an emotionally and physically draining time. Quite the opposite: I think it’s absolutely wonderful that this is a community where a wide range of parenting suggestions are generously given and received.
Lana Del Raygun says
That babies are designed to eat every 3-4 hours doesn’t actually mean women can feed them that often and thrive. We certainly can’t when we have to awake and working during the day, but even when we lived in caves and allegedly napped all day, it was probably still bad-for-you-but-often-survivable, just like pregnancy and birth. Motherhood is really hard. Let’s not make it harder by writing off the solutions.
Anonymous says
*HAVING* to wake up every 2 hours and do something other than roll over and go to sleep every night for weeks or months really is pretty bad. Another reason I hated breastfeeding.
rosie says
Be kind to yourself. Bring in pictures of your baby to the office (may help while you’re pumping, plus just nice to have around). Get yourself a fancy coffee/favorite lunch/etc. Allow yourself time to catch up on adult conversation with your work friends.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, this will absolutely get easier. I am assuming this is your first child? Try as best as you can to give yourself a break the first few months and avoid comparing your pre-baby work self to your post-baby work self. Especially if you are not getting enough sleep! You are definitely still a highly capable worker, it just takes some time to transition.
As for pumping, I pump twice a day and usually get enough for baby for the next day, and two times a day feels like a manageable amount of interruption to my day than more times would be. You will see how often you need/want to pump, but also know that you can absolutely supplement with formula if you don’t want to pump too often. I found that EBF was too much pressure on me to be the sole provider of food, but it took me some time to let go of that need with my first. With the second, I was all for supplementing as soon as I went back to work.
It’s great that your husband can take leave when you go back! This will help your transition and should set you both up for an equal parenting dynamic.
Anonymous says
It’s SO much easier going back when your husband is home because you don’t have to worry about the quality of your childcare. My husband would send me photos throughout the day and brought her in to have lunch with me when it was convenient with her nap schedule. If that’s something that’s practical, it’s nice to have a mid-day break and get to visit your little one.
As far as night feeds, we took a different approach. DH got up at every night feed during my mat leave (he would do the diaper change and bring her to me for nursing) so it seemed only fair that I get up for any night feeding during paternity leave. They weren’t as frequent at that point, but when they happened we both got up.
I started out pumping twice/day but I hated it and I pretty quickly dropped to 1 pump/day and using a bit of formula, which was sanity-saving. I stopped pumping completely around 8 months I think and we just switched to formula during the workday, although she stopped drinking formula completely around 10-11 months when solids became a bigger part of her diet. She’s 16 months now and I’m still nursing several times a day with no immediate plans to stop, so know that weaning from the pump doesn’t mean weaning
Anonymous says
*doesn’t mean weaning completely.
AwayEmily says
This point and Boston Legal Eagle’s about supplementing are so right on. With my first I was convinced that if I supplemented with formula, my supply would somehow disappear, and that was both wrong and caused me a lot of unnecessary stress.
With my second I made the decision that I would pump twice a day and send whatever I pumped to school with him the next day, and they could make up the rest with formula if needed. They ended up giving him a few ounces of formula maybe once or twice a week. I dropped to one session when he was around 9 months, and they supplemented a bit more. I stopped pumping at 11 months and now he’s 13 months and still happily nursing AM/PM and on the weekends.
The difference between my mental health re: pumping/nursing for my first kid (when I was frantically doing milk math every day, pumping extra in the morning to build up my freezer supply, and constantly stressed about producing enough) and my second kid (I pumped twice, sent whatever I produced, and didn’t give it another thought) was night and day. I was just so much happier and more productive at work.
Lana Del Raygun says
I’ve been back for a month, so I feel your pain! Knowing LO is with her dad (and with my sister when he’s working part time) makes a big difference to me, especially because he texts me pictures and videos during the day. I strongly agree about getting your husband to take over at least one night feeding — we FINALLY did that this week and it was miraculous how much better I felt (even though I did still wake up briefly because I’m the lighter sleeper).
Pumping is terrible; there’s no way around that. For me, it’s just low-key terrible so I’m still doing it but I think knowing that I *could* quit makes it better, so give yourself that permission.
Have you given baby a bottle yet? If s/he struggles to take it, remember that s/he will probably figure it out once you’re back at work. My baby threw terrible fits over the bottle when we tried it before I went back. It was a nightmare, lol; we tried like six different nipples; I fed her; dh fed her; we fed her when she was really hungry; we fed her when she was chill; I nursed her and then switched her to the bottle when she was calm. Nothing worked. On my first Monday back, she ate 2 oz from a syringe and screamed the entire time but by Friday she was happily guzzling away. It was really rough on my husband but he got through it. The vast majority of babies get their act together in a week or so after their mothers return to work.
You got this!! :)
Anon says
I also had a syringe-fed baby. DH tried for a couple of weeks to get her drinking from bottles and gave up, and just fed her by syringe. He got surprisingly efficient at it, he could give her a 6 oz bottle via syringe in about 10 minutes. One day she just picked up the bottle and started drinking from it. He was actually kind of sad when the syringe-feeding days were over. It was their special thing, just like nursing was our special thing.
Lana Del Raygun says
Awww that’s so cute :)
Anonanon says
I find that going to bed really early helps a lot. My baby still wakes 1-2 times per night but I can usually fall back asleep pretty quickly after she nurses. Also, perspective helps. Everyone is different. But as a former insomniac, waking up to feed a baby is much more pleasant than being awake tossing and turning with a ton of worries filling my head. I’m actually less tired now than I was in the past during really stressful periods when I wasn’t sleeping much. So this phase may be hard, but not as negative as other sleep-deprived situations can be that you may have already experienced in the past. Good luck!
Ms B says
Had to say my experience has been the same in that child-rearing more or less cured my insomnia. Turns out that sheer exhaustion solved the problem – since The Kid was born, I have had fewer total instances of insomnia than I had each month in the twenty years prior!
Eek says
I was so nervous and sad about going back after maternity leave that I nearly quit my job. I didn’t want to be a SAHM but I was just — terrified. But the anticipation was 100% worse than the reality. Hopefully it will be the same for you!
octagon says
It will be sad, and it will be hard. But you can do it. And honestly, the first cup of coffee at my desk where I drank the whole thing while hot, and I didn’t have to wonder when the baby was going to wake up? Magical.
Seriously though — be kind to yourself. It’s a really rough transition, and you will be exhausted. Getting your head back into work after so much time away is hard. Practice self-care and make sure you get as much sleep as you can — let your husband do the overnights with formula to the extent possible.
CCLA says
I would consider sleep training at that point. If that’s not for you, totally fine of course, but chiming in to say that’s a legitimate option. Yes, some babies still need to eat overnight at that age, but even if that’s the case for your kiddo, sleep training should help minimize the bad nights. I’m also with all the other posters who suggested ways to hand off middle of night duties to DH, and to be kind to yourself. You’ll get into a rhythm.
Lana Del Raygun says
Ohh I forgot about sleep training. That’s such a good point! (And a great argument for long maternity leaves, ahem, policy writers.)
Law mama says
It was helpful for me to routinize as much as possible – picking out 5 work outfits and rotate, eat the same thing every day for breakfast, always out keys in same place when you get home. For the next few months, just survive and don’t worry about work. After that, if you need to get more work done, I found it helpful to just stay really late one night rather than trying to work a little every night after bed. My mantra was “I’m doing my best and that is enough” and it’s really true!
Anonymous says
I think I’m just looking for a place to complain. I am 20 weeks pregnant with the flu, and our 2yr old also has the flu (DH had it last week). Yes we all got our flu shots. Toddler is recovering while I’m taking a little longer due to the pregnancy. But good god taking care of a child while im pregnant with the flu is probably the worst/hardest thing I’ve done. I’d sooner have another baby (on top of the one in my belly).
Anonymous says
I’m so sorry, the flu is terrible!
anon says
hugs! that sounds beyond awful
ElisaR says
oh man I feel for you. That’s rough.
lawsuited says
I’m sick at home today with my sick toddler and sick newborn, so believe me when I say having another baby would not improve your situation. It’s basically all crying and diarrhea all the time.
anon says
Both my kid and my doctor asked me today if I’m having more babies. NO, NO, I AM NOT. I am 38, already have two kids that push me to my limits, and pregnancy is hard. Youngest is four and I’m not up for starting over. Sometimes it makes me sad that I’m not destined to have a big family, but mostly I am glad that our family is complete.
Anonymous says
Sympathy! We have two-year-old twins and are constantly asked when we’re planning to give them a little sibling. I know people who make larger families work, but as much as I love my kids I just do not have the emotional space to cope with more than 2 of them, thank you very much.
Anonymous says
Oh man, I have 3 girls and my oldest is always asking when she can have a brother. NOPE. I’ve started introducing the term “dog brother” and promising a furry brother once the youngest is 3.
Anonymous says
Ha! We have one, and our plan is that she’ll be an only. We all call our cat “Kitty Sister”.
Anon says
Yes, my only child has a “fur sister” as well.
GCA says
Ha, sorry! Your doctor probably has to ask for medical reasons, but when people who aren’t my kids* or my healthcare providers pry, I just say “We’re very happy that our family is complete”.
* I’m pretty sure that when I was about 4 or 5 I asked my parents when we were going to get a baby brother in addition to my sister, who was 1.
Redux says
My obgyn asked me this relentlessly as a way of reminding me that until and unless we *did* something about it, I could get pregnant. Once my DH got a vasectomy, she stopped asking :)
Anon says
That strikes me as…kind of weird. Not everybody wants or needs permanent birth control. There are lots of ways to prevent pregnancy that don’t involve tubal ligation or a vasectomy. I can understand your OB asking annually as long as your answer remains “maybe” or vague, but once you’ve told her definitively you don’t want more kids, I would think she’d stop asking. Your choice of birth control isn’t really hers to dictate.
Redux says
Ha, well you’re making a bunch of logical leaps here. I never said she told me we had to go the vasectomy route, only that we needed to be doing *something* to prevent pregnancy if we didn’t want to get pregnant. We were doing nothing which was, obviously, risky– and in her purview to educate me about. I expect my obgyn to check in with me regularly about birth control. I hope everyone is getting that level of care.
Anon says
Your initial comment just said she was asking you about family planing “relentlessly” until your DH got a vasectomy. That’s what I said was odd. You didn’t include any of these other details.
My OB knows my husband and I are done having children and that we use condoms and are happy with them. I would definitely be perturbed if she was relentlessly asking me about whether we’re going to have more kids or when we’re going to do permanent birth control.
Redux says
Well, no, I said she asked me about it until we did something about it. That something happened to be a vasectomy. You made the leap out of somewhere that she told us we had to get a vasectomy. But, no matter! Glad you and I have each found something that works for us.
Lana Del Raygun says
I actually don’t think it’s weird for your doctor to keep asking. Lots of people decide they’re done and then change their minds later.
Private elementary school says
Parents of school-aged kids — would love to hear from you if you have enrolled your kids in private school, your reasons for doing so, and if you have been happy with the decision.
We currently live in a neighborhood that we love and that we can afford. Unfortunately, the public elementary schools are not good and we would not enroll our kids there. This is not an outside assessment, this is based on talking with many many families who have their kids at the school and are looking to leave. The middle school is much better and we would feel comfortable enrolling our kids there ultimately.
We are considering applying to private elementary school for our 2 kids in our city, which ends up being 60k a year (that is all in, including aftercare, summer camp, etc.). While that is a lot of money, if we were to move to another city in the area with good public schools, the houses are so so expensive. Like 2 or even 3 times what we have now. The idea is that we would then transition to the public middle school when the time comes.
The other reason we are leaning private is that our older kid is really really bright and we have been led to believe that a private school would do a better job of challenging him and offering differentiation (again, this is based on talking to parents at both local public and private schools, but in the end — who knows). Would love to hear feedback from anyone who might be in a similar situation.
Thoughts? I am a public school kid and had always wanted the same for my kids, but we’re in an interesting predicament where it seems more expensive to have our kids go to public school than private!
Anonymous says
I’m a product of public schools and my daughter will go to public schools, but in your situation I’d definitely go for the private school. It’s more affordable and your kids will get a better education.
AwayEmily says
What about giving your kids a trial period at the elementary school — it may surprise you. Something that doesn’t work for some kids can be a great fit for others. Then if after a year you aren’t happy, you can think about the private school.
OP says
Multiple parents have told us alarming things about our public school — lots of fighting, unruly kids, ineffective teachers, not infrequent suspensions, etc. We also met with the principal to address these concerns and were not comforted by our conversation. The local school is out of the question for us.
Anon says
Yeah, this would be a dealbreaker for me too. And I’m someone who’s not worried about test scores because we have the time and money to supplement outside of school. But the school has to be a physically safe environment.
Anon says
If the middle school is good, can you open enroll at another elementary school in the district? It would require a longer commute and possibly more paid help, but it would probably still cost a lot less than private school.
anon says
In what ways are the public schools “not good”? While local parents’ opinions are one data point, I would wonder whether you’re getting the full picture. Can you set up a tour or meeting with the principal at your local public school and ask your own questions?
I like 10:04’s suggestion about looking into option enrollment if your district offers it. Also, I’m not sure I buy the argument that private school will offer more differentiation for gifted kids than public. I realize this varies by district and community, but in mine, if you want dif classes, you’re actually better off in the public school system.
OP says
That’s a great idea and we looked into it — unfortunately the district makes it nearly impossible to transfer to another public elementary UNLESS our neighborhood school is over enrolled, which it never is because it’s not a good school. We spoke with one family that tried it that got caught up in so much red tape and bureaucracy that they abandoned the idea and just went private (parochial school).
FVNC says
My sister and BIL started my niece in private kindergarten this year, for the same reasons you’re considering. They’ve been really happy with the school and will send their 3 yr old to the same private school in a couple years. (Granted, this is a Catholic school so tuition is far less than what you’re facing, but it’s not nothing.) They expected to send both their kids to public schools until, like you, they spoke to friends with kids a few years older who have had pretty bad experiences with the public elementary school. They are similarly priced out of moving to a neighborhood zoned for better schools. In contrast, we started our kindergartner in a public city school with a not great reputation, and it has been a not good experience. My daughter is fine and loves kindergarten, but the school just doesn’t feel like a community in the way my neice’s does, I don’t know any of the other parents despite efforts to volunteer, etc., she is served crap food for snacks and is being exposed to behavior I don’t love (she got punched by another kindergartner. Punched.). If you can afford it, I’d go private in your situation.
OP says
Thanks for your honest perspective, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry about your daughter’s school, hope the situation improves or that you find a better option.
FVNC says
Thanks, we have to relocate next year for my husband’s job, so she’ll be changing schools. If it weren’t for that, we’d be sending her to private school as switching public schools in our current district isn’t an option per district rules. Good luck with your decision!
Anonymous says
What’s the cost difference between the 2 options when you consider the cost for aftercare, summer camp etc at the public school? Because summer camp is $$$ and you may find the difference less than you think.
OP says
That’s a great point, thanks. Summer school is about 12K for both kids for the summer, although I think that is at one of the pricier camps. Clearly private is still more expensive than public but it’s helpful to realize it’s not the difference between $0 and $60K.
Anonymous says
Is private school really cheaper? Assuming $20K per kid per year is tuition and the remaining $10K per year per kid is aftercare and summer expenses you would still have with public school, you are looking at $240K in tuition for both kids K-5. That would go a long way towards a bigger mortgage on a more expensive house.
Anonymous says
Yeah, I have to think that moving is the way to go here. Yes, education is an investment, and I’m all for that. But, the private tuition is money you’ll never get back. Presumably the housing values in these other neighborhoods are stable if the schools are target schools. So you’ll likely get your money back plus some down the road. And from a cash flow perspective, I can’t imagine that the new house isn’t a better option than the private school tuition. But, a good question is mentioned above, is how much of that 60K really comes from the private tuition? What amount would you still be spending if they went to public school?
Lana Del Raygun says
You’re locked into the mortgage forever (okay, for 15-30 years) if you move, though, unless you want to move again (ugh, moving), and elementary school tuition is only for 5 years. Do you want to live in the other city apart from schools?
Anon says
I don’t know, if they like their house and their neighborhood, those are good reasons to stay. Not every decision in life has to be 100% financially optimal. I’d also note that – should financial troubles strike – it’s a lot easier and less disruptive to pull your kids out of their private school then it is to have to suddenly sell the family home, and in the even the family income goes down dramatically they will likely become eligible for financial aid at the school. There’s no financial aid for mortgages. I’m risk averse and I’d be fine taking on $60K tuition annually, knowing that if one of us lost our jobs we would get financial aid or leave the private school. I would not be fine taking on an additional $250k on my mortgage, because if one of us lost our job, we could find ourselves losing our home and that would be devastating to me.
OP says
Yes, this exactly. We are terrified about buying a very expensive home in the city with good public schools, only to find that one of us has lost our job. And my husband is an entrepreneur so his job is inherently unstable. I did not think about the financial aid piece in private school, that’s a great point. Clearly I hope we both maintain our jobs but good to know that aid exists.
Anonymous says
Do not rely on this. Financial aid at private schools is not something you can plN on.
Anon says
Well, it’s at least a possibility. There’s a zero percent chance anyone will help them out with their mortgage if they lose their jobs.
OP says
Definitely not relying on this. I know that aid is reserved to the most needy families, and it should be.
Anonymous says
OP, FWIW, I went to a private school growing up (all 12 years) and often got merit/need scholarships. My single mom could afford tuition, but it was tight. (She said she sent me to private school because as a single mom, she had enough to worry about, she didn’t want my schooling to be another.) She paid tuition year-round to make the payments more affordable, and I know there were many times she was late with her monthly check. And because we were such a small school where everyone knew everyone, the office was patient with my mom and found scholarships for me during the lean years. I still remember being required by the school to write thank you notes each year to the scholarship sponsors, who, thinking back, were more likely just alumni parents with deep pockets who stepped in to help with tuition for a couple students each year, rather than official scholarships. I don’t often give to my school, but when I do, I earmark it for financial aid to return the favor. It’s worth checking to see how the school approaches things – are they more like a family or a starchy enterprise?
Anonymous says
When we looked into private school, you were definitely on the hook for the entire year’s tuition regardless of any change in circumstances.
Anonymous says
That can be a school by school policy. Our private school offer optional tuition insurance that reduces the amount you owe in case of mid-year withdrawals. It’s not full coverage, but it does help. I also know that they work with families for financial aid and delaying payments in the event of job loss.
Anon says
This is not the case at my nieces’ private school. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have to sign paperwork promising to pay the full tuition, but in reality, if a parent loses their job, they will find a way to work with you.
octagon says
Following with interest as we are considering privates more than I ever imagined, as an advocate for public schools. We have a couple more years to make a decision and opted against the pre-k programs at a private school.
The cost is a huge issue. HUGE. As someone else said, that’s $240K more towards a mortgage! And I would also challenge your assumption that you would go to public for middle school. At that point, your kids will have strong friendships and you may want to preserve their social needs as they enter the tumultuous adolescent period. And if you spent more for a house in a good public school district, presumably some of that goes to your longer term net worth as equity, whereas private school tuition does not.
I’d also make sure that you really are clear about the all-in costs. Does that include sports or extracurriculars? Uniform costs? Costs of day camp or school-sponsored trips when school is closed? (We toured one school that has a short February break, but they were quick to point out that kids 8 and up can go on a school ski trip for like $1000.)
I think there’s a huge educational advantage to many privates (our kid sounds like your son) but the cost is really hard to swallow.
Anon says
I know your aftercare and summercamp needs will remain no matter where you go, but with private school being so expensive is it still not cheaper to move to a move expensive house? It seems like you could be in for $30k/year for 6+ years in tuition easily. Would a mortgage in a new school zone be that expensive?
I say this because my husband and I talk a lot about the possibility of ‘mortgaging child care,’ which for us means buying a house that is au pair-friendly to balance out those costs and gain some flexibilty.
OP says
Re: would it be cheaper to move to a more expensive house — We ran the numbers and it’s basically a wash. It’s probably slightly cheaper to move to the expensive city and do public, but not by that much, in part because we’re talking about $2M + homes here (this is the Bay Area). Our thought is that we would rather spend a lot of money on education than on an expensive mortgage (especially if we later find out that the public schools are not as good as we thought they were or not a great fit for our kids for whatever reason, and then we’re really stuck).
To everyone — thanks for all of the incredibly thoughtful comments. They have been so helpful. I will report back next year on where we land!
anon says
i know you say you were a public school kid and have always wanted the same for your kids…but sometimes circumstances dictate other things. i know people who always planned on sending their kids to private school, but public school turned out to be better for their family and visa versa. my brother in law went to public elementary, private middle and public high school, my sister in law went to public elementary, public middle and started high school in a public school, but finished in private school, while my DH went to public school all the way through. i went to private school my whole life and it was a really great fit for me and for my parents, and they/i are lucky they could afford it, but definitely wouldn’t work for everyone
BTanon says
For the private school you’re considering, do almost all the kids continue K-8 or K-12? You may be thinking about it right now as a replacement for just the elementary piece, but what happens if your fifth grader is well adjusted, you like the school, and you don’t want to pull them out while all their friends are continuing on?
I wouldn’t go into a K-12 or K-8 school counting on an easy switch from private to public for middle school if that’s not something that’s part of the private school’s dynamic. That said, you might be willing to keep them in private long term if it’s a great fit and your financial situation permits it – just something to think about going in.
OP says
That’s a good point. The two private schools we are considering both end in 5th grade so it forces a decision for all children. I do think that most of the kids go on to private middle school, but there is a sizable minority of kids who go to the local public middle school.
Anonanonanon says
I was in a similar situation with my first child and ended up getting married and moving. My child briefly attended the public school in the original area for about 3 months. I will say, one thing to consider, is sometimes it’s harder to cope with a situation like that as a working parent. A lot of moms in the area I was in were preaching “you get out of it what you put into it!” “it’s great with parental involvement!” etc. Unfortunately, I work full-time, so I don’t have the resources to put much into my child’s school during the day. The school was fine during school hours when there were a bunch of parents roaming the place and volunteering, but the after-school program was where things got real. My son basically joined a child gang lead by a second grader.
OP says
Thank for you articulating my husband’s feelings so clearly. His view is — we both have demanding jobs, he doesn’t want to worry about what the kids are learning in school and we don’t have the time or energy to supplement at home. So in addition to the area where we currently live being so much cheaper, he believes (rightfully or wrongfully) than in a private school you won’t have to worry as much about the kids’ education.
Anonymous says
Wrongfully
Anon says
This is sort of off-topic, but I’m the product of what was considered a very good public school (educated and affluent community, good teachers, good test scores, lots of opportunities for gifted kids). My husband is the product of a very academically-focused private school. We both took AP and honors classes, and he found himself a lot better prepared for our elite college. I’m not any smarter than my husband (he’s probably smarter) but I was able to really coast through high school with minimal studying. There just weren’t many people who were on my academic level, even in the advanced classes I took, so I didn’t have to work hard to be one of the very best. In contrast, my husband had a lot of really smart classmates and had to work really hard for As and learn how to study well and manage his time, which served him very well at our college. We don’t have non-religious private schools in our city, so our daughter will attend public schools. But meeting him and seeing how well his private school prepared him for college made me much more open to (certain) private schools. Before I met him, I thought private schools were all for rich kids who aren’t that academically-inclined and didn’t necessarily provide a more challenging academic environment than a good public school. But my husband’s school really did. He also liked school socially a lot more than me, but that might be more of a boy/girl thing.
AwayEmily says
Ha — I had the opposite experience. I was the product of a mediocre public school and went to an elite college filled with private school grads. When I got I felt so so grateful that my high school experience was about 10x more relaxing and fun than those of my private school classmates, who all worked SO SO HARD in high school. And yet we ended up at the same place! and yeah, they were marginally more prepared than me, but I figured it out within the first couple of months.
Anon says
That’s a fair point. I guess it also comes back to the social aspect – I didn’t find high school particularly relaxing or fun. Academically I was a bit bored and socially I was lonely. My husband had a tight-knit group of guys who were all really good at math and science and in the most advanced STEM classes together. They were competitive with each other, but also very close friends. But like I said, that might not be a private vs public school thing because I’m sure there are gender differences and also personality differences in play. I’m definitely more of an introvert than my husband and I think I would have liked the small class size of a private school. I was a bit lost in my giant public high school (and of course I also picked a big university, despite my parents really encouraging me to apply to liberal arts colleges).
Anonymous says
I went to an actually really good public school and had your husband’s experience
Anon says
+1 I also went on to an elite college and was underwhelmed by the kids who went to private high schools.
My public high school also offered about 3 times as many AP classes as my husbands private school, I think largely because it was a much larger school so they could support more classes.
Anonymous says
Replying late, but we were in a very similar situation a few years ago. When we were in your boat, we decided to stay in our house and go the private school route. But after a few years, we ended up moving anyway and eventually switched to the public school. We didn’t move because of the school – but even though we loved our first house/neighborhood, as the kids got a little older, we felt like we wanted a slightly larger/better house. The market had slowed down some, so we were able to get a good house in the better neighborhood. After being there for a few months, we decided to switch to public school the following year because we really loved our new neighborhood and loved that all of the neighborhood kids went to school together, etc. We have been incredibly happy with the switch – the education has been great and we have felt like we and the kids have really benefited from being a part of this neighborhood community. It would have been very different if we had stayed at the private school – where kids were coming from many different neighboring communities. When we initially decided on Private, we also thought we would switch at Middle School. But, in reality, I think this would have been very difficult to do. Very few kids went to public school Middle School after private elementary and I think our kids would have struggled.
I had gone to public school my whole life and my husband went to private, but we are both happy with where we have ended up. I will also say that when we switched to public school, we did feel like we wanted to be more involved with the school. Both to be more informed, but also because it was fun for us – we had become friends with other families in the neighborhood and lots of the school activities/volunteering were a social thing for us. It wasn’t always easy to do with our work schedules, but we have enjoyed it.
Hope this helps!
Jdubs says
How do you initiate the emotional labor discussion with your partner? By all outside observations, my husband is a very involved parent but he does almost none of the emotional labor. I plan, schedule, coordinate everything. “We” keep a shared google calendar and a white board command center calendar in the kitchen, yet he asks me repeatedly what our plans are for the weekend or what time something starts. I have recently been pushing back on being his calendar. For example this weekend my daughter had a school event and after the third time he asked me what time it starts, I told him that he receives the same school emails that I do and I don’t have any special powers to remember the time better than he does. Definitely wasn’t my finest response and basically started a small argument between us, but I don’t know how to explain to him that I need him to meet me half way on this stuff. He really feels like he and I do the same amount of family stuff and I don’t feel the same.
Anonymous says
Two things that happen in my house: (1) I do a good portion of the kid-related emotional labor, and we’re both fine with that. Hubby recognizes the time it takes, and it ‘counts’ if you will toward how we split tasks. (2) If I know the answer to a question (what time is X? where is Y?), I tell him. If I don’t, I don’t look for things for him. There’s a difference between asking me for my knowledge and asking me to do a task for him. Hubby agrees with and gets this. So I need to effectively communicate (“somewhere in the linen closet, but I can’t remember where exactly”) instead of come look in an exasperated way and get all peeved. My hubby, bless him, isn’t going to be the guy who says “hey kiddo is three, I should research what age we should start swim lessons and run with that.” But if I tell him “I signed kiddo up for swim, and I’d like you to take her on X, Y, and Z day”, he’ll very happily do it.
Just tell him that you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed and you’d like to revisit distribution of labor.
Anonanonanon says
I’m the same re: #2. If I know, no harm in telling. If I don’t, I’m not going to look it up, but I’ll say (in a cheery voice, which is key) “I’m not sure, but I think we got an email about it!” or “I’m not sure off the top of my head, but I think I remember writing it on the white board after I got the email!” etc.
Anon says
I don’t have brilliant advice, but my solution has been telling my husband that I do all the emotional labor so he has to way more of the day to day chores. The result is that he does probably 80% of the cooking, dishes and grocery shopping (we have a cleaning service, so neither of us does that), while I do almost 100% of the planning, scheduling, gift-buying, appointment-making, childcare searching, clothes shopping, etc (and I completely manage our household finances). He probably thinks he does more than his share of the housework, but I think it’s fairly balanced when you factor in all the invisible stuff I do. He doesn’t actively complain much and when he does I just start listing all the emotional labor I’ve done that week.
Sarabeth says
This is our solution too. We count the mental work equal to the hands-on work, and try to achieve an overall balance. In practice this means that I do most of the appointment-scheduling and my husband does more of the cooking/cleaning. I think we both feel like it’s a fair balance at this point.
H13 says
This is where we are too. The only time I push back is when he makes plans that impact the childcare scheduling and doesn’t consider the ramifications. It mostly works.
Anonymous says
“I need you to also read emails and look at the calendar. It’s not about working hard. We both work hard. But when I’m the one in charge of remembering all the dates and times, it’s a huge stressor for me. I add things to the calendar. Pls look at it. “
Lana Del Raygun says
Historically, I have initiated by passive-aggressive emailing of thinkpieces. (I do not recommend this.)
I think you have to sit down some time when you’re both reasonable well-rested and -fed, and say “Can we talk about how household scheduling and planning work? This has been bothering me for a while and I want to come up with a solution together.” And then explain the problem, with specific examples of the mental load you’re carrying, and see what he says.
As far as solutions go, what’s worked best for us is to divide things at as high a level as possible. There was a brief and terrible period at the beginning of our marriage when I was in charge of meal-planning and shopping and he was in charge of cooking (why???); now he’s in charge of all food and kitchen things, and I’m in charge of all laundry things. It’s my responsibility to notice when we’re going to run out of laundry soap, but then I put it on his shopping list and he takes care of it. So the other part of how we handle this is to have relatively clear protocols for putting things on each other’s plate.
Work out a new system and agree to revisit it after a couple weeks, and during those weeks you really have to commit to saying “I don’t know, look at the calendar” and not doing things he’s responsible for. Let some balls drop. (Obviously there are limits to this, but push them as much as you can. Running out of milk is not the end of the world.) Also, I know this sounds kind of pandering or condescending, and it is a really frustrating problem, but try to be patient with him. Juggling the mental load of a household is a skill that comes with practice, and it sounds like he doesn’t have the practice. Don’t let him claim men don’t have the capability (if they can invade Normandy they can get their kids to swim practice, come on), but do allow for a learning curve.
That turned into a long comment; anyway this is how we’re dealing with it (and it’s an ongoing process!). If he refuses to acknowledge the mental load of running a household when you explain it then I have no idea how to proceed from there, I’m sorry.
anon says
Ugh, I hear you. One phrase that helped my DH get it saying: “Remembering things IS work.” Emotional labor is a work in progress, but it has gotten better over the past year or so. The next time he asks when an event is, your default can be IDK, check the calendar! And … repeat. Hopefully, that will help get him in the habit of checking the same damn things you do.
Another thing that may help is putting your DH in charge of very specific areas so neither of you is relying on the other to just magically pick it up. For example, I don’t get a single Cub Scouts email; DH handles it all. And I have no doubt that he’s probably not paying as close attention as I would, but I really don’t care. I don’t have to worry about it. He’s also become the go-to person for answering teachers’ emails even though they’re sent to us both. The more clear lines you have, the easier it is for everyone!
Mama Llama says
I second the suggestion of splitting up specific areas. My husband remembers, schedules, and takes kids to all pre-planned doctor and dentist visits and pays all our bills, for example. Also, he does the school drop-off so he is responsible for remembering show and tell, pajama day, etc as well. I don’t think about these things much at all.
Boston Legal Eagle says
This is tricky because while I think husband and I do pretty much evenly split the actual childcare physical work and household chores (with him doing more probably), I am more aware of certain expectations when it comes to writing thank you cards for teachers, getting gifts, appointment scheduling, etc. Some of this stuff, like the thank you cards, don’t occur to him but I’m fine with remembering to do this as long as it’s acknowledged. So every time I do an emotional labor task, I just announce it and he always says thank you. That is enough for me because I’d rather just do the task and get thanked than remind him to do it. We generally try to thank each other for doing chores and taking care of the kids, so this is part of that.
We do have a shared google calendar for kid and family appointments, and that definitely helps prevent the questions. I’d recommend pointing him to the calendar. I assume he is able to track meetings at work this way so there is no reason he can’t do this at home. Maybe you can analogize what he’s doing to him constantly asking his coworkers what time a meeting is or what they’re doing that day – that would get pretty annoying if they all have the same information from the calendar…
Anonymous says
“I don’t remember, when you check the email let me know.”
CPA Lady says
Random tip: the most luck I’ve had when having these types of conversations happens when I’ve used the phrase “take initiative” when explaining to my husband what I want him to do.
“Emotional labor” is kind of a vague term if you’ve never had to do it. But everyone knows what taking initiative is.
anon says
I love this idea. “Taking initiative” is such a good phrase and one every guy is aware of and hopefully been praised for at some point!
Tablewear? says
My LO is starting to eat more solids and we need to get baby/toddler friendly bowls, plates, cups, etc. I’ve been trying to actively reduce plastics in all areas of my life but not sure how to be eco-friendly here. Is this one where I need to just bite the bullet and realize plastic is necessary? Does anyone have suggestions for good kids tablewear (plastic or otherwise)?
Anonymous says
Stainless steel I probably the way to go for toddler dishes if you’re avoiding plastic. Otherwise, I highly recommend IKEA plates/bowls/cups. Cheap enough that it’s not a problem to just use them until your kid is old enough to use ceramic dishes (currently on sale for $0.99 for a pack of 6 at my IKEA) and come in bright colors. We microwave food in glass/ceramic containers and then transfer it to plastic dishes, but do run them through the dishwasher on the top rack.
Anon says
How old? DD is 15 months and we still just put food directly on her high chair tray. I don’t think you need bowls and plates for a while unless your kid is really expressing interest in it. Anyway I think most kids’ plates and utensils are made from silicone, not plastic. People are very paranoid now about plastic because of BPA, etc.
anon says
+1 to just not using plates and bowls
Also, I think it’s relatively easy to find child-sized stainless utensils. For cups, you can do open stainless at the table and I think the Munchkin 360 cups come in stainless also. I’d focus on going 80% of the way towards plastic-free instead of 100% (so silicone straws in a stainless cup are okay, for example).
Anon says
My child is a dish chucker (both accidentally and intentionally), so we are pro plastic or we would be cleaning up broken glass and ceramic daily. For her I really like the gerber graduates toddler spoons and forks (metal but rounded tips – effective but not serious weaponry) – friends of ours really like the ikea toddler or kids silverware. For plates and bowls we use the pillowfort line at Target – I like them because they are both dishwasher and microwave safe (a lot of plastic tableware isn’t microwave safe). I still do most of my microwaving in glass and then transfer to plastic, but it’s nice to have the option. They’re also cheap (usually less than $1 per item). For cups we primarily used the munchkin 360 ones when we were still in sippy cup stage, but recently in true toddler fashion she’s been rejecting those in favor of open cups. If she is in our laps we will give her glass juice glasses (with an inch or two of liquid at a time), but otherwise I think I have been happiest with her using tervis tumblers (or she also likes my husband’s stainless steel whiskey and pint glasses that we keep for outdoor use).
anon in brooklyn says
For cups, we use the smallest size of Duralex Picardie tumblers. They’re break-resistant glass, and have been tossed on the floor with no problem.
Another Twin Mom says
Duralex also makes plates and bowls. They have a kids set but you could also cobble it together yourself. I’ve bought silicone covers to make sippy cups out of glass/stainless cups.
Mama Llama says
We use silicone and recycled plastic (Re-Play brand) for the baby. For my older child we use Corelle and some pyrex. I have never really gotten into stainless steel because I like to be able to microwave things if needed.
Mama Llama says
Mighty Nest is a good resource for non-plastic. https://mightynest.com/shop/table/kids-dishware
anon says
people really like the bamboo bowls/plates, but i am kind of too cheap to buy them right now because most of my twins’ food goes directly on the high chair tray, unless it is something that kind of has to be consumed from a bowl (like oatmeal, yogurt, etc.). target also has these great kids plastic bowls/plates in different sizes that are less than $1 each. we hand wash them.
Food Containers says
See below. There is no point to reducing plastic in your life. Surprised everyone here was reasonably nice to you about your obvious lapse in judgment.
Anonymous says
Wow, you’re really overreacting here. The questions were worded very differently. I commented below that the environmental impact of reusable plastic is small, because I definitely got the impression from your question that you liked using reusable plastic (you specifically mentioned the convenience factor) but were feeling like you “should” make the switch, so I was trying to reassure you that you’re not destroying the environment by not immediately throwing out all your reusable plastic. There’s no need to flip out like this.
Anon says
I don’t know – I thought the comments below were unnecessary. Why respond if you aren’t going to be nice about it?
Tablewear? says
I don’t even know how to respond to this. I don’t see how considering the environmental impact of my actions is a lapse in judgment.
I see the reference to discussions on the main page, but I don’t read that anymore because of the constant snark/trolling. So I don’t know what arguments there have been made in favor of plastics (and I’ve decided to reduce my usage regardless of what those ladies think about it.)
Food Containers says
It was sarcasm. I was attempting point out that the responses to your desire to decrease plastic use were met with kind, useful comments. On the other hand, my question about my desire to decrease plastic use was met with rude responses criticizing the choice.
ElisaR says
Tablewear? I appreciated your original post. I have the same questions/concerns you mentioned.
Lana Del Raygun says
With the caveat that I’m related to a Montessori teacher and this isn’t for everyone: use real glass and ceramic! Breaking things is part of how children learn about cause and effect. (If you have carpet or wood floors, things don’t even break as often as you expect.)
Otherwise, maybe Corelle?
shortperson says
we have multiple sets of “LunchBots Children’s Stainless Steel Dish Set” and “kiddobloom kids stainless steel utensil set” as well as some stainless steel cups made for camping. not as cheap as plastic but they have held up for years and we are also antiplastic for health and environmental reasons. amazon has other options as well. also check out planetbox for a stainless lunchbox.
Food Containers says
Inspired by some of the plastics threads on the main page…I would love to be better about reducing our plastic use. I’ve made a fairly good first step aimed at single use plastics. But I still heavily rely on plastic, reusable food storage containers. I do much better with glass/Pyrex for foods that will be stored in my fridge and don’t leave the house. But for transporting a sandwich to work or kiddo’s snacks all over, plastic is just easier than glass. It’s lighter and not breakable. What are some alternatives to plastic besides glass? Thank you!
Anonymous says
As noted on the main page, the impact of individual plastic use is very small to begin with, and the overwhelming majority of that is single use plastic. I don’t think taking your sandwich to work in the same plastic container every day for several years has any significant impact on the environment, and as you noted, the convenience of plastic is tremendous. I don’t think this is an area where the benefits of trying to switch outweigh the costs.
OP says
But it’s not all environmental, there is growing evidence that plastics can affect health.
Anon says
The concerns are all about heating plastics. Don’t microwave your tupperwares at work, put your food on a paper plate and microwave that.
Anon says
We’re surrounded by health risks in pretty much every aspect of our lives. Do you cook with non-stick pans? Eat any non-organic foods? Use a cellphone? Go outside when it’s sunny? All of these things are linked in one way or another to cancer, and that’s to say nothing of the most dangerous thing most of us do every day, which is driving to work. It’s impossible to eliminate all risk, and I haven’t seen anything that convinces me that the risk from reusing a plastic sandwich box rises above all these other risks and stands out as something that should be at the top of your list of health concerns.
Anonanonanon says
^this. I clean with chemicals. Everywhere I go is cleaned with chemicals. My children’s schools and daycares use chemicals and non-organic food. There are two cell phones on my lap right now. If I can’t conveniently take my food to work in a semi-disposable plastic container, I’m probably going to order food or get fast food, and who knows what chemicals and preservatives are in that, so there’s no winning unless I decide to live in a bubble. Even then, I have to figure out what I can make the bubble out of….
Anon says
I don’t buy the idea that you shouldn’t try to eliminate some risks because you can’t eliminate all of them. I think trying to find alternatives to plastics is a good idea if you can find a way to reasonably do so. It would be hard to completely eliminate them, but no one is suggesting that’s necessary.
Mama Llama says
I agree with this. You could also try a stainless steel sandwich box or reusable snack bags (Bumkins makes them), but to be honest I think it’s better, environmentally, to avoid buying anything new than to replace all your plastics with something else.
Anon says
I don’t think the main page or any internet messages board is a reliable source. Do you have links to an actual source? (I’m honestly wondering because this statement is different than what I’ve read.)
Food Containers says
Wow, I really can’t believe my question asking for alternatives turned into everyone criticizing me for looking for alternatives. Thanks.
Anon says
If you just wanted a list of non-glass plastic alternatives, that’s a G o o gle search away. Generally, I think people assume that those who ask questions here want advice about the subject matter more broadly, since that’s the main advantage of asking a community of people instead of a search engine. You sounded really ambivalent about switching away from plastic containers, so I think a lot of people thought you were looking for permission not to switch and tried to give it to you. Nobody was criticizing you.
Anon says
I don’t know why you got such hostile responses but this seems like a totally reasonable question to me!
I was following in the hopes of finding something similar. I feel like maybe I missed some big argument on the main page that explains the tone of the reactions, but I don’t know.
Anonymous says
The Container Store has a good selection: https://www.containerstore.com/shopping/stainless-steel-lunch-box.html
Lana Del Raygun says
You can get reusable PUL bags for sandwiches. There are lots of options on Etsy (some of them are really cute!).
Anonymous says
I wrap sandwiches in wax paper sometimes. That’s just a different kind of trash, but it does eliminate plastic.
*shrug* I use glass/pyrex at home, but for cold things I’m bringing for lunch (salad, yogurt), I reuse the same plastic containers I’ve had for years. I don’t think I’ve actually bought a new plastic food storage container in a long time, but they come into my life via take out, family/friends giving me Christmas cookies, or whatever.
Disney recs? says
Taking my 5.5 and 3 (well 2.99999- free ticket!!) y/os to Disney in a couple weeks. Staying off side. We plan to do parks for 3 days and have 2 other non park days.
Last time we went, Kids were not quite 4 and not quite 1. We did a day in magic kingdom mostly just looking at stuff and meeting princesses.
So far only plan is to take older kiddo on Splash Mountain.
Which parks would you do over 3 days? Any parades or light shows or whatever that we should plan around? I am not doing the bibbity boutique but I am letting them pack a princess costume (we have about 15 to choose from!). They both love Moana but it looks like she’s not at *any* park to meet. They don’t care enough about characters that we are planning to do a meal or anything-is that awful? If they had a Moana meal/sail/meetup I’d be all over it.
Anonymous says
I’d stick to MK and Animal Kingdom. We found Epcot wasn’t worth it with any kid under five unless you want to do the Frozen stuff in Norway. We did two days of MK. Aladdin’s carpets, jungle cruise, haunted mansion, dumbo, carousel, almost every ride was great there!
Anonymous says
The Lion King Show at AK is awesome. I also love the character meal there because the food is really good (but plenty of kid friendly options too).
MRSKBP says
We went with our 5 .5 and 3.5 year old last November. We had some really structured plans and some times just wandering around until the next ride. We had a double stroller, no one wanted to sit in it at all. We spent most time at MK doing rides, watching parades-it just so happened one went down the street when we were there, eating our way around. Definitely do it’s a small world! Epcot we did 1/2 day and they didn’t seem to thrilled by it. They liked animal kingdom for the animals. rides and the safari ride. HS is for older kids that are in to star wars.
When we asked what they liked the most-they said the hotel pool…so make sure you have some pool time scheduled!
Anon. says
Just remember that daylight savings is this weekend. Is there something I should be doing now to make the adjustment easier on my 20-mo-old? Or do I just plan for a cranky toddler all next week?
Anonymous says
Nooooooooooo I am not ready for this
GCA says
Don’t panic! Everyone will be equally cranky. You can wake up, look groggily at the clock, and pretend they’ve ‘slept in’. It will take a few days to adjust but kiddo will be fine, just be prepared for a few days (weeks?) of shifted bedtime and wake times. Signed, person who has had to haul kids across everything from 2 to 12 time zones to visit family.
…Although I too am panicking slightly. Last night my soon to be 4yo went to bed at 9.30pm and was up at 5am (he often naps solidly for the full 2h quiet time period at daycare and they are not permitted to wake him midway, nor would I want them to if he really needs the sleep). And that’s without any time change. But that’s just him…
Anon says
Ha, yeah if you think of it in terms of travel its not bad at all. We went to Hawaii from the East Coast earlier this year (5 hour change) and our baby was awake for the day by 3 am every single day of the trip (at least the fact that she never adjusted made the transition home easy!). So after that, one or even two hours doesn’t faze me. I can’t even imagine doing Asia. Mad respect.
Anon says
Do you have to wake your kids up for daycare? I’ve never found these transitions that bad, but our daughter’s schedule also isn’t very tied to a clock, because we don’t have to be up at a particular time. So before daylight savings she sleeps 8-8 and after daylight savings she sleeps 9-9 for a while until she eventually works her way back closer to the original schedule. And my daughter is a bit of a night owl. A lot of kids have more like a 6:30-6:30 schedule, so shifting the schedule an hour later can actually be a welcome relief.
Anonymous says
I’ve never found daylight savings to be a big problem, with my toddlers. If anything, we push bedtime a little bit earlier on Sunday and Monday nights, but our usual schedule has enough flex it in (e.g. naptime is sometimes at 12:30 and sometimes not until 1:30, bedtime can range from 6pm-7pm, etc.) that they don’t seem to fussed by the hour difference.
Anon says
If your child is a strict schedule follower, then maybe adjusting bedtime by 10 minutes each of the next couple nights might help. For us, there’s an hour and a half window in which bedtime falls based on when my 19MO last took her nap(s) and how well she slept, so we don’t actually notice a difference because she’s not firmly scheduled.
octagon says
Our plan is to take advantage of the later light and spend extra time outside after dinner — use up more energy to hopefully make for easier bedtimes. I think last year it was rough for a day or two with wakeups, but after that it was okay (or maybe I have blocked it out).
anon says
We want to take our two kids to Disney this year — aiming for May or June, given work schedules. Are there any big advantages (or disadvantages) of either month? We’re leaning toward staying in the park.
I’d also love recommendations for a preschooler and an elementary-age kid. Son is a Harry Potter fanatic; used to love Star Wars but his interest has waned. He doesn’t like scary rides. Daughter is princess obsessed and would freak if she met Elsa, Belle, or Tiana.
Anon says
May should be significantly cooler and less crowded.
Anonymous says
It’s just gets hotter as you go, so I’d do may. Def stay in park, book it now and you can book fast passes and meals really soon.
Anonymous says
I would do May as it might be a little cooler and more kids will be in school so it might be slightly less crowded.
SC says
I would do May. Even late May is less hot and less crowded. I grew up in the area, and my parents are vacation club members, so we go to Disney and the parks pretty frequently. I refuse to go between June and September.
All else being equal, I’d stay on property. For most people, it’s more convenient. I highly recommend booking it now and making your dining reservations ASAP. Fast passes open 60 days before your date of arrival, and I cannot emphasize enough how much nicer they can make your stay.
Not sure how long you’re planning to stay, but Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom are the best for preschoolers and probably middle schoolers as well. If you’re staying longer, and your kids enjoy swimming, I’d consider going to one of the water parks as well. Most of the Disney rides are not particularly scary, and there are plenty of tame rides and shows.
I think the best way to meet princesses is character dining. It may be too late to do Cinderella’s Royal Table in Magic Kingdom (you can check, and keep checking back). But there are princesses at several other character meals/experiences. Here’s a website listing some of them, with the caveat that I have no idea if it’s up to date. https://www.buildabettermousetrip.com/princess-meals-at-disney-world. If you don’t do character dining, you can get Fast Passes to meet a few characters, but I think it’s a waste of a Fast Pass (granted, I’m not big on character meetings).
Harry Potter is at Universal, so you could certainly spend a day going to Universal/Islands of Adventure. Star Wars is at Hollywood Studios, but they haven’t opened Star Wars land, so there’s not that much Star Wars themed stuff there yet.
anon says
Thanks — this is awesome. I’m sold on the property hotels and resorts; it seems much simpler. We’ll definitely do a FastPass.
Good point on the water parks. Our whole family loves them, and it would break up the amusement park bits.